Thought Catalog

30 Fly Raps That Are More Romantic Than Any Famous Quote About Love

Posted: 23 Jul 2015 12:26 PM PDT


Silky, milky, her smile is like sunshine
That's why I had to dedicate at least one rhyme

— LL Cool J, "Around The Way Girl"


Shorty I'm there for you anytime you need me
For real girl, it's me in your world, believe me

— Method Man ft. Mary J. Blige, "I'll Be There For You / You're All I Need"


It's important we communicate
And tune the fate of this union to the right pitch
I never call you my bitch or even my boo
There's so much in a name and so much more in you

— Common, "The Light"


Your friends try to confuse but you know what
My intentions are good, I can't help it I'm hood
I wouldn't change if I could, you shouldn't tell me I should
Baby you should take me as I am
An' be happy you're my girl cuz I'm happy I'm your man

— Ciara ft. 50 Cent, "Can't Leave 'Em Alone"


It's like I'm standin' there you know, appreciatin' God's design
And then you showed up, it's like you read my mind

— Black Star ft. Talib Kweli & Yasiin Bey, "Brown Skin Lady"


Since we met it's been you and I
A tear for a tear, baby eye for an eye
And you know that my heart gon' cry
If you leave me lonely
Cuz you not just my love you my homie

— Ja Rule ft. Vita, "Put It On Me"


Fantasies can run but they can't hide
And when I find you I'm gon' pour all my love inside
I need love

— LL Cool J, "I Need Love"


Put down your bags love
I know in the past love
Has been sort of hard on you
But I see the God in you
I just want to nurture it
Though this love may hurt a bit

— Common ft. Mary J. Blige, "Come Close"


I look for ways to say 'I love you'
But I ain't into makin' love songs

— A$AP Rocky, "L$D"


It's your eye contact, that be getting me aroused
When you show me your mind, it make me wanna show you mines
Reflecting my light, when it shines, just takin' our time
Before the night's through, we could get physical too
I ain't tryin' to say I don't wanna fuck, cuz I do
But for me boo, makin' love is just as much mental
I like to know what I'm gettin' into

— Dead Prez, "Mind Sex"


Cuz I decide that she all mine's
I keep her in my eyes all the times
Not because I don't trust her
I just can't get enough of her

— Joey Bada$$ ft. CJ Fly, "Don't Front"


Precious times, hoping they won't end
Tell you mother 'bout your lover
Also your best friend
Ya mighty proud while you're holding her hand

— Slick Rick, "Teenage Love"


My destiny of love is brought to an apex
Sex is a mere molecule
In this world of love that I have for you
It's true

— De La Soul, "Eye Know"


I want some real shit, I need somebody I can chill with
I need somebody I can build with
I need somebody I can hold tight
With the time and no full limits, no right
Anytime we together would feel so right
You the girl I been lookin' for my whole life
God bless me, I'm glad I got the insight
It's cuz of you girl, now I understand life

— P. Diddy ft. Usher & Loon, "I Need A Girl"


I wanna tell the world about you just so they can get jealous
And if you see her 'fore I do tell her I wish that I met her

— Future, "Turn On The Lights"


And once I entered your mind I wouldn't wanna stop
Caressin' ya thoughts till we was thinkin' the same
Calm ya nerves, massage ya brain

— Eric B. & Rakim, "Mahogany"


Girl, in my eyes you the baddest
The reason why I love you, you don't like me cuz my status
I don't wanna see you with a carriage living average
I wanna do my thing so we be established

— Ma$e ft. Total, "What You Want"


Look at you, unbelievably, brilliant beautiful you
You're looking deliciously divine darling you really and truly do
The very thought of, got me running at the speed of love
Exploring everything about you from the ground to the God above

— Outkast ft. Cee-Lo Goodie, "Slum Beautiful"


Sat beside me, used to laugh, had mad jokes
The teacher always got mad so we passed notes
It started off so innocent
She had a vibe and a nigga started diggin' it
I was a youngin' straight crushin' tryna play this shit cool
But a nigga couldn't wait to get to school

— J. Cole, "Wet Dreamz"


But the smile that she shows makes me a go-getter
I haven't gone as far as asking if I could get with her
I just play it by ear and hope she gets the picture
I'm shooting for her heart, got my finger on the trigger
She could be my broad, and I could be her nigga

— The Pharcyde, "Passin' Me By"


I guess it's the way I smile, when I hear your name
It's the little things that you do, that mean so much
It's the care that you put, into every touch
It's the way I trust you, and you trust me
I guess some of us, are so lucky

— Whodini, "One Love"


Cuz I can tell, my life with you would be delicious
The way you lick your lips and shake your hips got me addicted
I'm sittin' here hoping that we can find some way to kick it

— 2 Pac, "Can U Get It"


Hey, being with you is a top priority
Ain't no need to question the authority
Chairman of the board, the chief of affections
You got mine's to swing in your direction

— A Tribe Called Quest, "Bonita Applebum"


Do you believe me when I tell you, you the one I'm lovin'?
Are you mad cuz I'm askin' you 21 questions?
Are you my soul mate? Cuz if so, girl you a blessing

— 50 Cent, "21 Questions"


We knew from the start that
Things fall apart, intentions shatter

— The Roots f.t Erykah Badu & Eve, "You Got Me"


See I just want you to know
That you deserve the best
You're beautiful, you're beautiful
Yeah, and I want you to know
You're far from the usual, far from the usual

— Lil Wayne, "How To Love"


You're like a candy store
And I'm a toddler
You got me wantin' more and mo-mo-more of
Your love, your love

— Nicki Minaj, "Your Love"


I hope one day you hear me
Always gon' be a bigger house somewhere, but nigga feel me
Long as the people in that motherfucker love you dearly
Always gon' be a whip that's better than the one you got
Always gon' be some clothes that's fresher than the ones you rock
Always gon' be a bitch that's badder out there on the tours
But you ain't never gon' be hapy till you love yours

— J. Cole, "Love Yourz"


A ghetto love is the law that we live by
Day by day I wonder why my shorty had to die
I reminisce over my ghetto princess everyday
Give it up for my shorty

— Lost Boyz, "Renee"


I was young and I was selfish
I made every woman feel like she was mine and no one else's
Now you hate me
Stop pretending, stop that frontin'
I can't take it
Girl don't treat me like a stranger
Girl you Know I seen you naked
Girl you know that I remember, don't be a pretender

— Drake, "Furthest Thing" TC mark

Featured image — LL Cool J Around The Way Girl

13 People You Always Contact After You’ve Been Dumped

Posted: 24 Jul 2015 07:00 AM PDT


1. Your best bestie.

She'll drop everything to shower you with sympathy, make immediate plans to come see you and throw you a "newly single" event with your closest friends. She'll come over, bring a pint of your favorite ice cream and take out your trash. She'll force you to shower when all you want to do is sit on the couch with your Netflix and wonder whether it's better to watch to be a prisoner in Orange Is the New Black. Your best bestie knows what she's dealing with and will be your first line of defense in transitioning back into a human again.

2. Family.

Your mother. Sister. Cousin. Grandmother. Someone who's known you since you were little and understands the kind of person you were before the relationship. Who will take your pain with open arms as her own and tackle it with you to the ground. You'll get honesty from these people. Comments like, "I didn’t like the guy anyway," and, "You really dodged a bullet," will come out like wildfire. Yes, you're heartbroken and not out of love yet, so you'll certainly be annoyed by these comments. You'll call these people anyway because they love you and that's what you need to be surrounded with right now.

3. Your Other Ex.

The one who you forgot about when your new ex came along, but now suddenly seems like a great possibility again. You're grasping at straws just to feel that kind of connection again. It doesn't matter that the Other Ex did not have much of a long term interest in you or didn't treat you like the king or queen that you are. This Other Ex might either be completely weirded out that you're contacting him or her or pleasantly surprised enough to invite you over.

4. Your Chinese food delivery person.

Though you don't want to talk to anyone, so you'll order online to the extent possible and answer the door in your bathrobe. The only think that can comfort you at this point are eggrolls, gobs of sticky rice and chicken with cashew nuts.

5. Your very single friend.

The one who never gets beyond the first or second date with another person, is perpetually hooking up but always single and will be psyched to have you back "out there" as a wingman. You'll have instant company, a good ear and a person to go speed dating with.

6. Your masseuse, manicurist or hair stylist.

You need pampering. Tons of it. And perhaps a new look. You deserve it.

7. Your friend that travels.

Plan a really adventurous, fun-filled trip to some place you've never been. Research it and map out an itinerary together. Perhaps some time away will clear your head and give you the fresh start that you need.

8. A friend you lost touch with.

Because of all the time spent with your ex. You got the feeling this friend may not have been the biggest fan of your ex, which put you in a tough spot since this was certainly feeling like your future spouse, but clearly this friend may have been on to something. Apologize for falling off the face of the earth.

9. Your friend who likes to work out.

It's time to get back out there. You can't sleep anyway so you might as well hit the gym, go for a run and get back in shape. There are only so many calories to burn from crying and toning up will bring back some much needed endorphins. Plus you can chat about what went wrong while you pump iron.

10. Your friend with benefits.

Do you have one? Did you used to have one? No time like the present to call up the ballpen now that you need some relief pitching.

11. Your boss.

You don't want your boss or work colleagues referencing you and your ex during working hours so you may want to mention the break up in a subtle way. Keep busy with work during the day (it'll feel like a relief to have something else to focus on) and your heartbreak may have some unexpected benefits.

12. The person who got dumped and then ended up marrying the person who dumped him/her.

You're allowed one phone call to a friend that made such a miracle happen. Because once you're dumped, there is an 80% chance that there's no getting back together. Ever. Never. You want to ask this person how he/she did it. How did they go from the pain of a break up to luring back the person who left them heartbroken? You'll start to get hopeful. This could happen to you too. Right?! Think again. There is usually a reason for being dumped. Like the person who dumped you is an idiot that you shouldn't worry about and certainly shouldn't marry.

13. The good listener.

If you're lucky to have a friend that is a great listener with some wonderful advice to share, hold on to that person! It's helpful to reflect with someone who knows you well, but even better to talk out what you're feeling to try to accept the pain, make sense of the confusion surrounding every break up and then eventually move on. TC mark

When You Find Someone Great… But There’s A “But”

Posted: 22 Jul 2015 03:16 PM PDT


Congratulations! All those days (months…err years) of swiping left, talking to weirdos at bars, getting set up with your friend's friend that they swore was “like totally a good guy”…has paid off, or at least you think. You’re dating someone and it’s fabulous and wonderful and you’re like “thank goodness someone still finds me attractive.” And then suddenly you are stuck in an internal debate of whether or not you are really quite sold on them.

You are what I like to call “stuck in the but.”

For some reason you find yourself explaining this wonderful new person to other people in your life, and then you follow up with the comma and the but. If you haven't personally been in this kind of relationship or dating experience before, then I can assure you one of your friends has. Some of the "buts" that I have either heard from friends or have experienced for myself have included a whole range of reasoning from attraction, to lack of a job, to basic personality and politeness, to really nothing that you can quite pinpoint at all. Sometimes you can find yourself saying "They are wonderful, but I don't know if…"

And it's okay to be stuck like that, because it means you are discovering who and what you are looking for in the world of love.

You are stuck in the “but.” They are fantastic, beautiful, successful, funny, what have you. But they aren’t doing it for you. There is that “but” that is keeping you from sealing the deal. You are stuck with trying to discover why you would want to give up on a chance to grow something with someone wonderful, but for some reason you are questioning whether or not you can envision a growth past the few dates that you have been on with them.

Last year, I found myself going on a few dates with someone that was just so wonderful. He was kind, handsome, and successful, but there was something that I couldn’t put my finger on that was keeping me from wanting to pursue a more serious relationship with him outside of the few dates that we went on.

He was a wonderful person, but I just wasn't sold. Eventually it came out that I wasn't interested in him outside of a friendship that we grew together, and it was one of those dating experiences that I found to be a positive growing experience for me. I realized that it was okay to tell a perfectly wonderful human being that I was not interested in them. As someone that came out of a long-term relationship that continued far past it should have, this was my first step to learning that I can choose what I want in a partner. I learned that I can be picky and not settle with someone because I had no reason to not be with someone other than “I don’t know”.

The beautiful thing about the journey of finding a meaningful relationship is that you are allowed to be as picky as you want. You are at the age where you are able to date whoever you want for as long or as short as you want. But you are also at an age where the next person you meet could become the person you marry. And that’s pretty nuts if you think about it. You are able to be as picky as you want because to settle into something you’re not really sure about is not conducive to your time, your feelings, and your future.

Settling into something that you aren’t quite into is not only unfair for the other person, but unfair for you as well. While you can just go with the flow and see how things happen, why waste your time and theirs? When you're stuck in the "but,” you're ultimately toying around with someone who is great and could be a wonderful partner to someone who seems them as perfect as they are.

You are also leading yourself into the land of limbo where you are stressing every time you see them, wondering if that spark will ever come to you, or perhaps questioning if this is just completely normal to feel. You should never be so desperate for love that you end up fooling yourself and them into thinking that it was something more than just false hope.

There is no "I think he is the one" when you are considering a serious relationship with someone. There are no "buts" about having someone in your life that you could consider spending more than a few dates with. There are no "maybes" in trying to find out if you want to continue to pursue a relationship with someone.

At the end of the day, knowing who you are and what you want – and who you want to share all of that with – can be the most relieving thing in the world. Even if you haven’t found what you have wanted just yet, you have the opportunity to explore that with every new person you meet and discover whether they surpass that “but” that has stuck with you for everyone else. TC mark

MTV’s ‘White People’ Is About White People Talking About White People – And That’s A Good Thing

Posted: 23 Jul 2015 01:08 PM PDT

MTV / White People
MTV / White People

Last night MTV's much anticipated documentary, White People, aired. I had the privilege of seeing it last week. (Thanks to my co-worker Koty who did an interview with the Pulitzer-prize winning documentary creator, which you can read here.)

When the trailer came out a few weeks ago, many people wouldn't even give it a chance. The sense from some was, "White people don't need to be talking about their feelings [with regard to race and racism]." I watched the documentary and I think there's more to it than that. I have my own critiques of the experiment, the players involved, and the way it was conducted, and presented. But I think overall, the documentary is necessary, if not important, in today’s cultural climate.

To give those who haven't seen the documentary an understanding of what it was all about – Jose Antonio Vargas, the creator – discusses White privilege with groups of mainly White people. (People of Color are also part of the discussion but much of the dialogue was focused and centered on White people.) For some of those people, he goes deep into their personal experiences of what it means to be White, how they perceive race, and how race and the consequences of race, have affected their lives.

In the documentary, there are some pretty standard examples of White privilege  – such as when a young lady doesn't get the scholarship she wants to go to school, and perceives that the People of Color who received such scholarships did so, "in her place," and because of their color. Having dealt with that myth in the classroom with my students before, it is often a straightforward case of informing people of the numbers of the availability of scholarships at large, and "who" actually receives them – all of which debunks their perceptions. The documentary did that beautifully.

But then to drive home the point – I often remind White people that no one is "entitled" to a scholarship, or a place in a university, for that matter. And many times the legacy of academic institutions, which like all other institutions, historically disadvantaged People of Color, still continues today. And it is your White privilege in the first place that allows you to believe you are "deserving" of such a thing. And that if you don't get it, a Person of Color "took" it away from you. As I watched the documentary, I often felt a lack of the point being really driven home. Perhaps that is just a difference in style and manner, perhaps not. Still, White people talking about Whiteness is significant. In the interview that Vargas did, he stresses this. And I couldn't agree more.


One of my favourite pieces of scholarship on Whiteness is Shome (1996) The rhetorical strategies of whiteness in City of Joy. In it, she analyzes how one of the strategies of Whiteness is its invisibility; an invisibility that still assumes the necessity and importance of its presence. That's the thing about being White in America – you probably don't think about it very often. But everybody else – People of Color – do. And they think about it juxtaposed to their racial experience. White people need to talk about being White not only to understand racial identity and the experience that is attached to that – but to understand how privilege and Whiteness – the construct – harms those they exist next to, consciously and unconsciously.

Certainly, there are those who rightly critique that this dialogue in the way it was conducted, may have the propensity to center White people's voices in conversations about racism and race. But I would counter that by saying if the subject matter is one that involves a critical outlook on constructs of Whiteness, and White privilege is one of the outcomes of Whiteness, then the conversation benefits racial dialogues at large.

Of course the least surprising group of critics have been many White people who refuse to see the sociopolitical importance of reflecting on and confronting Whiteness. This group, ironically of course, is largely why this documentary is necessary. For many of the previously mentioned reasons, but also because one of the most disturbing features of this generation’s approach to sociopolitical and identity discourse is that pointing out difference is bad, and even divisive. But when differences essentially result in distinct social realities experienced by people because of those differences, the unequal status quo continues.

To me, and in my academic work, and in my experience in the real world, one thing that protects Whiteness and that sustains racist institutions is not imperfect racial conversations, but a lack of conversations entirely – silence. White People isn't perfect but it is important. And if it begins to dismantle the silence of Whiteness for a generation, if only for a cultural moment in time, and for those who experience it – it may not be a great hallmark in the fight for racial justice. But perhaps it is yet another small win in the long and hard fight. TC mark

How Do You Know If It’s Really Love?

Posted: 23 Jul 2015 06:53 AM PDT

photographer name

How do you know if it's really love?

The crazy thing about love is, lots of people aren't even sure if they are in it or not. So elusive, so averse to definition, love confounds us to the degree that we don't even know when we are experiencing it. Right this very minute, millions of people are walking around in a daze, asking themselves, "Why do I have this feeling in the pit of my stomach? Am I in love or am I just hungry?"

My advice to these people is Honey BBQ Fritos. I'm serious guys, they are freaking incredible. The Frito-Lay Corporation has really outdone itself this time – they're all twisty and flavorful and some kind of toxic burnt orange color. These things make regular Fritos look like Communion wafers.

Okay, now that you've had your fill of corn oil and monosodium glutamate, how're you holding up? Still overwhelmed with potentially love-related torrents of anxiety and anticipation and joy and fear? Are your thoughts perpetually revolving around that one particular person?

You know who I mean: the one who seems super into you despite being so out of your league that you've begun to suspect they are harboring some crazy, dark secret, like maybe they used to rob convenience stores or they're Wiccan or dead-set on moving to Idaho in the next 6 months. You're stricken with terror that one day they'll make some casual remark that will ruin everything like, "You know, dubstep really saved my life."

But so far, so good. You both love cheap Mexican food, margaritas, and spending the entire walk home from the restaurant mocking the couple that sat next to you. It's perfect, actually. So is it love?

Unfortunately, we can't swab your mouth and certifiably say, "She's in love!" the way we can take some of your blood and say, "She's got herpes!"

Herpes 1, Love 0.

With that in mind, I've tried to create some helpful guidelines:

  1. Listen to The Beach Boys' "God Only Knows," paying careful attention to the lyrics. What does it make you think of? Are you still thinking about those Honey BBQ Fritos? That's not a good sign.
  2. Watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind – in my humble opinion, the most romantic movie ever made. Do you feel a desperate urge to text someone and tell them you miss them, you're thinking of them, you'll always keep them in your heart and never let go? That's great. Was the person you texted your old college roommate J-Dawg? Not so great.
  3. Unless you just realized that you're actually in love with J-Dawg. Then I'm really happy for you guys!
  4. Imagine yourself in twenty years: What do you envision? Other than disposable clone servants and Fast and the Furious XXII with Vin Diesel in a flying Prius and the ability to print takeout Chinese food from your own 3D printer? Who's there with you, petting your hologram pet dinosaur?
  5. What is the very first thing you think about every morning when you wake up? I mean, other than "NO NOT AGAIN I HATE MY JOB I HATE MY LIFE PLEASE PLEASE GOD TAKE ME NOW!" That's everyone's first thought. But what comes next? Who do you need to mentally conjure just to summon the strength to get through another day?
  6. Picture all of your favorite activities – maybe hiking, traveling, and cooking. For me it's Netflix, rum, and sitting down, but whatever. Is there anyone with whom you love sharing those pursuits, watching their face for a flicker of the happiness these hobbies bring you?
  7. Who in your life do you know will stick with you no matter what? Who has seen you at your worst – brutally hungover or sweating profusely after 2 flights of stairs or weeping uncontrollably during a Pixar movie – and still thinks the world of you? If you've got anybody other than your mom, hold on to them.
  8. Here's a question: What do you see when you turn out the light? If you answered "that special someone," you're probably in love. If you answered, "You stole that from a Beatles song, you jackass," then I think it's time for me to wrap this thing up before the crowd begins to pelt me with metaphorical tomatoes.

You get the idea. This article is a fraud, folks. True love isn't quantifiable, but that's what we like about it – it's mysterious, inexplicable, unpredictable. It's like the Joaquin Phoenix of emotions, but with slightly less incoherent mumbling.

Okay, one last honest question: does this person make your life a thousand times more enjoyable, fulfilling, and all-around worth living? Because that's how I knew I was in love. I didn't want to be alone anymore, not because I was lonely, but because this incredible alternative miraculously materialized out of thin air. Like some love-struck Copernicus, I discovered that I was not the center of the universe, but a lucky satellite orbiting something far brighter.

If it feels too good to be true, it is – unless it isn't, and then it's love. TC mark

17 Signs He’s Not “Protecting You”, He’s Trying To Manipulate You

Posted: 23 Jul 2015 07:09 AM PDT


1. He has some sort of problem every time you want to hang out with a male friend. It doesn't matter what you say, it doesn't matter if you're just going to an innocent gathering with a family friend that just happens to be male, it's always going to be a fight and cause more drama than it's worth.

2. He'll occasionally take a very slight shot at the way you dress. It won't be "negative" per se, it'll be disguised as a compliment. He'll tell you how gorgeous you look and then say something that proves how much of a problem he has with someone else making even a glance in your direction.

3. He's wildly uncomfortable even hearing about your exes, let alone hearing that you might be meeting them for coffee when they come into town. He'll try to pass it off as concern, he'll say he "doesn't think it would be good for you to see them", but the whole maneuver has the undertone of him trying to guilt you into cutting off your exes completely.

4. He'll give you an ultimatum: If you want it to work with him, you can't speak to anyone you've previously dated.

5. He's hesitant about you having a girls night out because he'll just miss you too much. But it's fine if he goes out with his friends, as long as you're staying home on the couch.

6. In public, he's always touching you if there are other men around, but wouldn't ordinarily be that overbearing or PDA-prone.

7. He appeals to your people pleasing side to get his way because he knows that you want them to be happy and will give him whatever he asks for, even if it's an irrational demand.

8. He intentionally humiliates you but makes it seem accidental. This typically involves him appearing to compliment you in front of people, but in a backhanded way. If his humiliation tactics are successful, you end up feeling put down in front of the people you care about.

9. He will guilt you when you have plans, or are working a lot by claiming if you ~loved him more~ you'd spend more time with him. He's childish about getting blown off and uses that to make you feel bad.

10. He's always reminding you of your mistakes as if to caution you against making them again. In reality, he's just making you relive your missteps.

11. If you guys hit a small snag, or disagreement, it's never just something that you can work through because he blows it out of proportion claiming you have to work on it to work on the relationship, and further the relationship. Under the guise of strengthening and protecting the relationship he's manipulating you into disagreeing with him less often.

12. If you tell him to help you watch what you eat this week, he will take it way too far and end up shaming you for reaching for a fourth potato chip. If order a burger instead of a salad, he'll call you out on it because he wants to "help you."

13. If you struggle with mental illness of any kind (even when it's completely under control) he'll make reference to your "crazy side," which is never an acceptable or appropriate joke to make.

14. He will sometimes make you feel like your asks are over the top just to lower your expectations of his behavior.

15. He demonstrates his ~protective side~ with loaded hypothetical scenarios. He cares for you so much that he "wouldn't let another man so much as touch you," and uses other almost fanatical statements.He can never just show he cares in a real, grounded way.

16. He will gently tell you if he doesn't like one of your friends by saying he doesn't think you should be seeing them anymore because they aren't looking out for you. He'll make sure that the people still in your life are only the people that he approves of, and will do it without you even noticing this shift.

17. He gets high and mighty about the fact that he's your protector because he needs to remind you that you need the protection. He wants you to feel like you need his help. TC mark

How To Recognize Each Myers-Briggs Personality Type In Real Life

Posted: 23 Jul 2015 08:00 AM PDT

Arturo Donate
Arturo Donate

Because cognitive functions are the truest determinants of type, this article will explore typing through the lens of individual functions. The best way to determine type is to identify which of the four perceiving functions (Either Se, Si, Ne or Ni) and which of the four decision making functions (Either Te, Ti, Fe or Fi) an individual uses most often and which order they use them in. Keep in mind that of those two dominant functions, one must be introverted and one must be extroverted. From that point, their tertiary and inferior functions follow logically – see the chart below to learn which four-letter types are associated with which functions.

If you have no idea what cognitive functions are all about, click here. Otherwise, read on to learn about how to recognize each function in real life.

Extroverted Intuition (Ne):

Ne Dominant Types: ENFP/ENTP
Secondary Ne Users: INTP/INFP

How to spot them:

  • Ne dominant types experience bursts of high energy, followed by periods of reclusion.
  • They are quick-witted and gain energy through debating ideas.
  • They enjoy discussing possibilities above all else.
  • They want to explore every side of a given situation and may be more prone to playing 'devil's advocate' than other types.
  • They tend to jump from topic to topic with ease and enthusiasm.
  • They may directly contradict themselves multiple times while speaking.
  • They enjoy using metaphors to explain things – their metaphors are prone to gaining complexity as they speak, which excites the Ne user.
  • Ne dominant types bore quickly and almost always have a new project on the go.
  • These types usually advocate for keeping your options open, exploring all possibilities and taking an unconventional approach to solving problems.

Introverted Intuition (Ni):

Ni Dominant Types: INTJ, INFJ
Secondary Ni Users: ENTJ, ENFJ

How to spot them:

  • Everything an Ni dominant type does is deliberate. You will likely get the sense that they have carefully (but covertly) planned out their actions and words.
  • They may ask many questions in conversation, but questions tend to be open-ended. I.e. "Can you tell me more about that," As opposed to, "When did that happen?"
  • They prefer sticking to one topic of conversation but may feel the need to 'explain around' the topic if they are unable to convey the essence of it concisely.
  • Ni dominant types usually pause to fully take in and consider what you have said in conversation before replying.
  • They may also return to a topic of conversation weeks after you've had it, having processed and analyzed what you've said more fully.
  • They enjoy talking about future possibilities in a linear fashion.
  • These types have a lot of 'epiphanies' or 'realizations.'
  • Ni dominant types often give off a stoic or "Zen" vibe.
  • These types usually advocate for thinking through your options carefully, optimizing your experiences and keeping your long-term objectives in mind at all times.

Extroverted Sensing (Se):

Se Dominant Types: ESFP, ESTP
Secondary Se Users: ISFP, ISTP

How to spot them:

  • Se dominant types are highly in tune with their environments and are constantly scanning their surroundings.
  • They may be more physically 'wired' than other types and have trouble sitting still.
  • Se users tend to be 'up for anything' and don't mind changing or hopping on board with plans at the last minute.
  • They tend to make very direct observations about people and situations – they don't beat around the bush and are the masters of saying what everyone else was secretly thinking.
  • They enjoy slapstick or 'obvious' humour.
  • They enjoy the 'finer things in life' and may be particularly attracted to expensive gadgets or high fashion.
  • Dominant Se users are almost always present and engaged in conversation, unless something in the immediate environment is distracting them.
  • These types usually advocate for 'Just going for it' – that is, following your gut instinct and approaching what you want directly.

Introverted Sensing (Si):

Si Dominant Types: ISTJ, ISFJ
Secondary Si Users: ESTJ, ESFJ

How to spot them:

  • Si users have excellent memories when it comes to specific facts and occurrences and will usually remember things you've mentioned only in passing.
  • They are incredibly detail-oriented and usually ask for specific clarifications in conversation (I.e. "Where did you meet up? What day?")
  • They are uncomfortable with the ambiguous and in conversation, they prefer relaying relevant facts to speculating. I.e. when discussing possibilities for the future, they will point out what has happened in a similar situation in the past.
  • They enjoy having things planned out in a predictable fashion.
  • Si users tend to place a higher value on tradition, social conventions and status than other types.
  • These types usually advocate for using the tried and true method, referencing the facts that already exist on the matter and assuming that the future will resemble the past.

Introverted Thinking (Ti):

Ti Dominant Types: ISTP, INTP
Secondary Ti Users: ESTP, ENTP

How to spot them:

  • Introverted thinkers like talking about facts or theories and information – when conversation turns to people or events, you can almost see their eyes glazing over.
  • Dominant introverted thinkers require a great deal of alone time. They aren't shy about overtly ignoring others if they infringe on this.
  • Dominant Ti users often have a grumpy or aloof demeanour but a good sense of humour beneath it.
  • In conversation, they may ask slightly different versions of the same question multiple times, as they try to figure out precisely how it fits in with what they already know.
  • They may zone out of conversations as they relate what you're saying to their current understanding of the topic – and then zone back in to ask clarifiers.
  • Dominant introverted thinkers may have trouble explaining something in a direct way – they tend to branch off and get lost explaining different components of how a given system works.
  • Ti dominants are indifferent to most small-scale decisions and will avoid making them whenever possible.
  • These types usually advocate for looking at things objectively, questioning everything and ensuring you understand a given situation fully before making a decision about it.

Extroverted Thinking (Te):

Te Dominant Types: ENTJ, ESTJ
Secondary Te Users: INTJ, ISTJ

How to spot them:

  • Extroverted thinking types are extremely goal oriented. They will usually ask you about your own goals, either subtly or overtly.
  • They enjoy talking about plans they have and the expected outcomes of those plans.
  • If you go to a Te user with a problem, they will immediately jump to solving it as quickly and effectively as possible.
  • Te users are bothered by inefficiency and strongly dislike people being late or veering off topic if there's work to be done.
  • Dominant Te types may come across as bossy or know-it-all-ish, even when they genuinely mean well.
  • They will always argue from a results-based, purely practical standpoint.
  • These types usually advocate for staying organized, setting goals and making whatever choice will glean the best outcomes.

Introverted Feeling (Fi):

Fi Dominant Types: INFP, ISFP
Secondary Fi Users: ENFP, ESFP

How to spot them:

  • Fi users tend to use emotion-laden vocabulary (I.e. Preferring the phrase, "I feel like…" over "I think that…").
  • Fi dominant types tend to 'zone out' or daydream more than any other type – they may even do this in the middle of a conversation.
  • They are incredibly patient listeners who are happy to let you talk for as long as you need to, without jumping in to offer solutions.
  • These types connect and show empathy by exposing their own experiences and struggles as a means of letting you know you're not alone.
  • Fi users are the easiest types to offend, particularly if you question an aspect of their identity or betray one of their morals.
  • They will almost always argue from a subjective or emotional standpoint – often using the way they feel as an argument in and of itself.
  • These types make other people feel comfortable by exhibiting an inclusive, non-judgmental attitude toward them.
  • These types usually advocate for staying true to oneself, following your heart and doing what you know to be right.

Extroverted Feeling (Fe):

Fe Dominant Types: ENFJ, ESFJ
Secondary Fe Users: INFJ, ISFJ

How to spot them:

  • Dominant Fe users talk almost exclusively about what other people are doing or thinking.
  • They are proactive in adhering to the needs of others (I.e. Ensuring there is food ready for houseguests before they show up, just in case they are hungry upon arrival).
  • They tend to be warm and welcoming toward new people.
  • They use confirming language when speaking with others, I.e. uttering "Oh no," Or "Aw," while someone else is speaking, to show empathy.
  • These types make other people feel comfortable by anticipating their needs and adhering to social niceties.
  • Immature or unhealthy Fe users are the harshest (and most vocal) judges of others.
  • The moods of Fe users are particularly dependent on the moods of those around them – I.e. They will visibly and genuinely cheer up after hearing someone else's good news.
  • These types advocate for keeping the peace, considering other's points of view and accommodating loved ones.

Stacking Of Cognitive Functions By Type:

ENFP: Ne – Fi – Te – Si
INFP: Fi – Ne – Si – Te
INFJ: Ni – Fe – Ti – Se
ENFJ: Fe – Ni – Se – Ti
ISTJ: Si – Te – Fi – Ne
ESTJ: Te – Si – Ne – Fi
ISTP: Ti – Se – Ni – Fe
ESTP: Se – Ti – Fe – Ni
INTJ: Ni – Te – Fi – Se
INTP: Ti – Ne – Si – Fe
ENTJ: Te – Ni – Se – Fi
ENTP: Ne – Ti – Fe – Si
ISFJ: Si – Fe – Ti – Ne
ISFP: Fi – Se – Ni – Te
ESFJ: Fe – Si – Ne – Ti
ESFP: Se – Fi – Te – Ni

Things to keep in mind when determining type:

-Everyone uses their extroverted function when interacting with others but if someone is an introvert, their extroverted function is not their dominant function. For example, an INTJ's dominant function is Ni but they use Te to interact with the outside world – which may cause them to seem like an ENTJ in some social situations.

-To determine if someone is an extrovert or introvert while typing, you can use traditional methods of determining where he or she falls on the dichotomy. I.e. Look at whether they seem more energized or more drained after a few hours of social interaction (indicating extroversion and introversion respectively).

-To determine an introvert's type, you will need to examine their dominant function as it supports their extroverted function – I.e. If someone's dominant function is Fe but you suspect they are an introvert, you can determine if they lead with Si or Ni by turning your attention to how they support others – is it through concrete, practical methods (Si), or through gaining a thorough understanding of how the person's mind operates (Ni)?

-If someone is an extrovert, you can determine their auxiliary function by examining what they use to back up their dominant function – I.e. If they are a dominant extroverted sensor, do they prioritize engaging with interesting new people (Indicating auxiliary Fi) or with exciting new physical challenges (Indicating auxiliary Ti)?

-Once you know someone’s dominant and auxiliary functions, their tertiary and inferior functions necessarily follow.

-In order to type someone accurately, you need to observe which cognitive functions he or she uses most consistently, across a range of different situations. Any type can call on any cognitive function if absolutely necessary – but at the end of the day, type is determined by which functions naturally and consistently provide their user with the most energy.TC mark

25 Tiny Pleasures That All Book Lovers Live For

Posted: 23 Jul 2015 07:29 PM PDT

Aleksandar Mijatovic
Aleksandar Mijatovic

1. Reading a book that you don't know much about and discovering that it's AMAZING.

2. Finding that book you've been meaning to read in the bargain bin.

3. Getting to the end of a book and being utterly amazed and satisfied by the conclusion.

4. Recommending a book to your friend and they absolutely love it.

5. …Then raving about the book to each other and reliving all the epic moments.

6. Going on a "spending spree" at your library's used book sale, and buying 20 books for a whopping $10.

7. Rereading a book from your childhood and it still holds up.

8. Hearing that your favorite author is FINALLY releasing another book.

9. Waking up to pouring rain AKA prime book-reading weather.

10. Walking into a used bookstore and marveling at the stacks and stacks of books you can sort through.

11. Watching a movie based on a book and it's actually very faithful to the source.

12. Adding a new book to your shelf and it fits perfectly without squishing the other books.

13. Inheriting books from friends/family who are just looking to get rid of books they've had sitting around forever.

14. Just reorganizing your bookshelf for the millionth time.

15. Showing off all your recently purchased books to anyone who will listen, because you get to rant about why it sounds great all over again.

16. Meeting someone new and discovering that they love the same book you love.

17. Finishing a book right before bed, so you can just lie there and think about it for hours without anyone bothering you.

18. Discovering that your favorite actor is an avid reader and you can't help but love them even more.

19. Opening a brand new book and catching a whiff of that new book smell.

20. Finally finishing that book you've been slowly reading on-and-off for a year.

21. Being dragged on a shopping trip with someone and discovering that the store they're in has a small book section.

22. Your friend canceling on you at the last minute, so you have no other option than to stay home and read for hours.

23. Waking up the morning after you fell asleep reading, and seeing that you miraculously didn't lose your place in the book.

24. Turning a particularly bad day around with a good book.

25. Planning a trip that requires hours of just sitting on a plane or train AKA hours of reading time. TC mark

19 Signs That You Literally Give Zero F*cks Now That You’re In Your Mid-Twenties

Posted: 23 Jul 2015 10:59 AM PDT

Parks and Recreation
Parks and Recreation

1. When people invite you to social outings that you don’t want to go to, you don’t come up with any particular excuse. You just say, “No.” And it feels exquisite.

2. When you experienced a friend getting engaged for the first time, you were like “OMFG WEDDINGS YAS LOVE.” But now when it happens, you’re just like, “Aw. Good for you. Brb I need to order a pizza.”

3. Forever 21 is a young man’s game. If a retail store stresses you out and only carries clothes that seem to be made for American Girl dolls, you’re done.

4. You’ve started referring to high school students as “children” or “youths.”

5.  You don’t make any attempts to hide your hangovers anymore. They happen so easily (like, 2-3 beers easily) that you don’t even fight them. You just let them take over your soul.

6. Your weight fluctuates more than Chandler’s. And it’s whatever.

7. In your opinion, looking like you showered is now the same thing as actually showering.

8. “Does anyone have any Pepto-Bismol?” is something you frequently utter during dinner with your friends.

9. Brunch has become more about the quality of the bacon than about the deals you can get on bottomless mimosas.

10. Every year you tell yourself that next year is the year you will start contributing to a 401k. And then that year rolls around and you postpone it again, because you have to buy important things this year, like a quesadilla maker.

11. When someone tries to start a political discussion at a party, you just look at them like:

12. Dressing uncomfortably is for awkward tweens. These days, you’re all about wearing your favorite t-shirt during a night out.

13. People you know are getting engaged so often these days, that sometimes you hear about an engagement and then honestly forget that it happened a few days later.

14. You do think some engagement photo shoots are sweet. But there have been others that have popped up in your newsfeed and caused you to unintentionally say “Ew” out loud due to the cheesiness.

15. You’re less concerned with how good you look for work today and more concerned with how long you can hit the snooze button before you have to crawl out of your cave/bedroom.

16.  Life is stressful these days. So if you need a good cry while riding public transportation, you’re damn well certain you’ll make it happen.

17. If you go to a concert or a club that’s just loud and annoying, you don’t even bother pretending like you’re having fun. You just leave because, food.

18. Instead of obsessing over the crazy antics of young celebrities these days, you think things like I’m worried about that child or Are they eating enough?!

19. Joining a gym is for recent college grads. You’d prefer to just live in a 4th-floor walk up and leave the house every once in a while. TC mark

14 Bisexual Women Answer: “Which Is Better — Penises Or Vaginas?”

Posted: 22 Jul 2015 11:53 AM PDT



"I prefer women because they're softer and prettier and smell better, but every once in a while I like to sit on a big fat cock and ride it like a coin-operated kiddie ride. So vaginas are better, but penises break the monotony."
—Jennifer, 23


"Penises, absolutely. My girl crushes usually involve lots of kissing and hugging and sleeping together more than they involve sex. But at the end of the day, I'll take the D over the V. Not that I should have to choose, but you asked!"
—Jessica, 19


"God, it depends on what mood I'm in, I guess. When I'm ovulating, I want to be penetrated, preferably with a live penis rather than an inanimate object. But when I'm on my period, I'd rather stay home in sweatpants and cuddle with my girlfriend."
—Ashley, 24


"It's more a matter of the penis or vagina in question. I'll take a great dick over a sloppy pussy any day. On the other hand, if the choice is between a guy with a small, hairy dick and a girl who has a puss that's like a fine plate of caviar, I'll be eating at the caviar table, thank you very much."
—Amanda, 27


"I like girls for affection and men for sex. Men are extremely bad and clumsy at showing affection. So I'm more romantically attracted to girls and more physically attracted to men. To tell you the truth, my own vagina kind of repels me, and I sort of feel the same about most vaginas. Not all—most. Every once in a while you'll find a vagina-diamond in the rough, lol."
—Rachel, 32


"Oh, c'mon now—penises and vaginas complement one another like peanut butter and jelly. As long as I'm the bread, you can spread 'em both on me!"
—Stephanie, 20


"When I was younger, I was all about the dick—until I had my first lesbian experience one night while drunk. It's like the difference between sleeping on an Army cot and sleeping on a bed made of duck feathers and flower petals. So definitely vaginas. Dicks are OK, just not as good."
—Nicole, 20


"Why do I have to choose? Can't I have them both, even at the same time? I guess if you put a gun to my head, I'd rather be with men. There's something about walking around town filled up to the brim with a man's cum that makes me feel like a wild, happy animal."
—Melissa, 27


"My first five or six sexual experiences with girls, and I don't have a bad memory about any of them. But in my late teens this football player guy swept me off my feet and showed me how it's done. I liked his dick so much, I wished I could carry it around in my purse. So to answer your question: 1) Penises; 2) Vaginas. Sorry, girls!
—Heather, 22


"Vaginas, vaginas, vaginas, vaginas, vaginas, vaginas, vaginas, and then maybe the occasional penis if I'm drunk enough."
—Elizabeth, 24


"I definitely prefer being penetrated to being "scissored" by a girl. But when it comes to oral, there's no question—sign me up for #TeamVagina. I can't even think of having a dick in my mouth without gagging just a little bit. Eww!"
—Megan, 18


"OK, I flipped a coin. It says I like giving head more than I like licking tails. So that's my final answer, Your Honor!"
—Amy, 22


"Oh, wow. Funny, but I never really thought about it. Sometimes I'll go to McDonald's and order a Big Mac, while other times I'll get the fish sandwich. It all hinges on the mood I'm in. So there's no general answer to your question. I could go either way depending on how I'm feeling."
—Michelle, 20


"Penises are better if I want to make a baby. Vaginas are better for laying my head on late at night and whispering sweet nothings to. Or better yet, you've made me want to try a threesome with a boy and a girl to see what the real answer is. I'll let you know when it happens!"
—Amber, 28
TC mark