Thought Catalog


Here Are All The People Ridiculing Nick Viall From #TheBachelorette

Posted: 27 Jul 2015 07:13 PM PDT

ABC / The Bachelorette
ABC / The Bachelorette

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15 Misconceptions About Dating A Lawyer–From A Lawyer’s Perspective

Posted: 27 Jul 2015 02:02 PM PDT

During one of my first online dating experiences, a guy who had contacted me found out that I was a lawyer, emailed, "I don't date lawyers," and disappeared. I tried questioning why this was and even pleaded with him to reconsider. I never got a response. Maybe I was proving him right – that all lawyers are angry and argumentative. Or maybe he was just a judgmental jerk that I shouldn't have given a second thought about. Bottom line: this guy cut off all communication with me, as if being a lawyer was equivalent to having a contagious disease.

On that note, here are 15 misconceptions about dating a lawyer, from a lawyer:

1. We're all angry, argumentative and bitter.

Some of us, yes. All of us? No. Except when people judge us as being so, I suppose. Lawyers tend to have analytical minds. It's the way they train us in law school – asking questions to get us to consider a set of facts from multiple angles. The Socratic method. We tend to see situations in more than black and white and we can sometimes become passionate about it. Some more so than others, depending on how tired or hungry we are.

2. Everyone in our family is a lawyer and equally angry.

I am the first lawyer in my family and certainly did not have any close lawyers or lawyer-like friends who got me into law school. My family is generally a peaceful crowd, though opinionated, but who doesn't have an opinionated family? You don't have to be scared of hanging out with us.

3. We're all rich, live in mansions, drive fancy cars and take luxurious vacations.

This is absolutely false. Many lawyers these days are paying off their law school and college loans for many years and finding it next to impossible to secure a moderately paying legal job after law school. The mansion / fancy car lawyers have usually worked liked crazy to get where they are or have money from their family's hard work and good fortune. The average lawyer doesn't have time to drive around in that fancy car or to take a luxurious vacation because he or she is working like crazy. If you just want to date us to be flown in our private jet to our 350-acre ranch in Wyoming, you'll be sorely disappointed.

4. We're greedy and love to take advantage of people.

The majority of lawyers that I know are caring, hard working people who just want to earn a decent living to support their families. They're not looking to hustle or take advantage of anyone. This stereotype is brought on by a small group of the ambulance chasing variety that perpetuates in film, TV shows and the media in general. There are many different types of lawyers. Some work for non-profits. Some work for start-ups and small businesses. Some use their legal degree to do other things like consulting, compliance, real estate and other careers. Once you get to know us, you'll see that if we're greedy and selfish, it has nothing to do with being a lawyer – it's just us being greedy and selfish.

5. We thrive off of people's problems.

Another myth – on the whole. Lawyers, if anything, are great listeners. That's how we do our job. We listen to spot issues. We take what you tell us and put it together like a puzzle, trying to determine what are the key facts and then try to offer advice based on those facts. Some lawyers are my closest friends because they want to hear the full story of any problem that I'm having and can cut to the chase with their advice.

6. We never have to worry about money.

I constantly worry about money. Despite thinking that choosing to go to law school would lead to a steady career, the financial crisis a few years ago proved that there's no such thing as a secure lawyer job. So don't believe that dating a lawyer will entitle you to spending sprees and splurges to your heart's content.

7. We are generally unpleasant to be around.

Ok, so some lawyers are more pleasant than others. And some non-lawyers are more pleasant than other non-lawyers. We may not be the most laid back of personalities, but we're go-getters and like to get things done. We're typically doers and helpers. We find it difficult to sit back when we can jump in and accomplish something. Being in a relationship with someone like that will never be dull.

8. We always have to be "right."

We're trained to make winning arguments, to come up with plausible explanations of things. It may be frustrating to have a debate with us on something we're passionate about because it's in our nature to find the "smoking gun" or indisputable fact that wins our case. That said, we should know when to turn it on and off, when to let something go and how to pick our battles. It is possible to compartmentalize the winning argument train.

9. All we needed to become a lawyer was enough money, family connections and a heartbeat.

If you have ever had to study for and pass a bar exam, you'll have a new found appreciation for lawyers (particularly the New York and California bar exams). It's a tremendous task requiring intensive concentration, calmness under pressure and critical thinking. There probably are lawyers who have gotten where they are from the help of connections, but the majority of lawyers have had to work their way through the system with loans, hard work and mental marathon skills.

10. We're constantly fighting with everyone around us.

Yes, I know there are some loud mouth lawyer types out there who like to make themselves known. These are the ones that make all lawyers seem unbearably obnoxious. I promise we're not all like that. If being argumentative is part of our day job, you can be assured, it's the last thing we want to do in our free time. In fact, we've likely gotten all the fight out of us that we've cared to stomach. Once we get to our loved ones, we want peace, harmony and some good old-fashioned love.

11. We are workaholics.

Ah, ok – so maybe this is somewhat true, but that's the nature of the legal industry, not really the lawyer herself. Law firms require billable hours for the most part, so if you're not working, you're not earning money for your firm and might not even be getting paid. We're committed to earning a living, which can make us steadier partners for a relationship. We have a lot of the work hard / play hard mentality and will be sure to make the most of our free time with the people that we enjoy being with.

12. We love the law.

While there are some lawyers who get a high off of reciting statutes and who act like meeting senior officials at legal conferences is the equivalent of getting backstage passes to their favorite band's concert, not every lawyer loves the law (or their job). Many lawyers are lawyers to provide for themselves, their family and to have health benefits (the same reasons all people go for a certain career). Many people picture dating a lawyer as sitting across the table from someone going into a rant about their argument in their legal brief about the qui tam provisions of the False Claim Act while they've rolled their eyes and fallen asleep. In truth, many lawyers would love to talk about anything but the law.

13. We are incapable of minding our own business.

Only when something is really off-putting or needs reprimanding. Like riding the subway and witnessing a very pregnant person be ignored when requesting to sit down. Or when our friend is on hold with Time Warner Cable because they charged her incorrectly for something and we are itching to get on and argue for her when she'd rather just pay it and be done with it. You'll find this a helpful skill if you date us.

14. We cheat, steal and lie to get ahead.

This is absolutely false for most lawyers (and human beings). We like coming up with great, creative solutions for things. We like projects that have a start, middle and end, and we like going through each phase. It makes us feel accomplished. We know that cutting corners only comes back to burn us. We're willing to put in the hard work to solve problems – both at work and in our relationships.

15. We're not actually human.

False. So very false. I watch dog and baby videos on YouTube and cry just like the rest of the world. We feel terribly horrible by terribly horrible things happening around us. We feel joy and happiness at wonderful things taking place every day. If you find yourself dating a lawyer who doesn't exhibit any evidence of acting like a human, it's best to cut ties and find a human being (lawyer or otherwise) who does. TC mark

13 Things You Probably Do As A Compulsive Water Drinker

Posted: 27 Jul 2015 12:05 PM PDT

1. You have a ‘favorite’ water bottler.

Source: Giphy

Deer Park, Poland Springs, Kirkland, Evian, Dasani, Aquafina, Fiji, Crystal Geyser… So many choices!

2. There are empty water bottles around you at all times.

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3. You have a nalgene bottle.

Flickr / mroach
Flickr / mroach

4. …Or other types of reusable water bottles for that matter.

Flickr / Rubbermaid Products
Flickr / Rubbermaid Products

But you don’t use them…most of the time…sometimes…

5. You absent-mindedly take a sip out of anything in front of you at work.

Source: Giphy

Sometimes, you drink from one of those empty water bottles around you. #LifeStruggles

6. You take out multiple bags of water bottles out to the recycling bin at the end of the day.

At least you recycle!

7. 40-packs of water bottles = life.

Costco / Kirkland Products
Costco / Kirkland Products

Thanks Costco!

8. You pee.

Source: Giphy

A lot. Whee!

9. You inspect the color of your pee.

Source: Giphy

And you do this all the time! Because clear pee, toxin-free!

10. You indulge yourself in water.

Amazon / Voss Water
Amazon / Voss Water

Voss water? Yes please. I mean, water is life, so go drink it!

11. You sometimes tweet at water companies.

And it’s the most exciting thing when they respond.

12. You show concern for people who don’t drink enough water.

Source: Giphy

How can you not drink water? How is that possible? (Don’t forget to remind people to drink more water!)

13. Your solution to just about everything is more water.

Source: Giphy

Sick? You need water. Stressed? Time to water. Stomachache? Need to get water in your system. It’s all about cleansing your body of toxins, my friend. TC mark

14 Simple Ways Unromantic Men Can Make Their Girlfriends Feel Loved

Posted: 27 Jul 2015 06:11 PM PDT

via rgags
via rags

1. Show her signs that you will be a good dad. Play with puppies. Smile at kittens. When you're at a party with kids go the extra mile: play and hide and sneak with the under five demo.

2. Become friends with her parents. Show you care not just about her, but her family. Maybe even authentically learn a lesson or two from her parents.

3. Make her a photo album of your best times together. You kill two birds with one stone with the photo album. You give her a romantic gift and you create a practical relic for yourself, family, friends and maybe even your future offspring.

4. Make her orgasm a lot. If you're going be a stoic asshole, you better make sure she comes just as much as you do.

5. You might think holidays are crass commercial disasters. But don't be a killjoy and tell her that endlessly. Say something sweet instead like: “every day with you is a holiday and you will be the best boyfriend you can be every day, not just on Valentine's Day."

6. That said, just buy her flowers on Valentine's Day. It takes about 1 minute to buy them online and you can do it last minute. Just think about like a math equation.

No Flowers + Valentine's Day = fight

Flowers + Valentine's Day = no fight

Which choice is more practical in terms of saving time?

7. Respect your own mom. Just being a good, respectful and loving son will render romantic in her eyes. You might be as emotional as a stone, but at least you love your mother so you can't be that vacant inside.

8. Bring her on adventures. Bring her surfing. Bring her on a hike. Bring her on a spiritual retreat on top of a mountain. Save up money and do a trip to Europe . You don't have to be romantic to do these things you just have to have a thirst for life and share it with her.

9. Be a man. Fix the sink. Know how to change a tire. Know how to cook a meal. You aren't Prince Charming, but at least you’re adept.

10. Gently articulate why you think practicality is romantic. She wants to spend 30k on a wedding? Nudge her that with 30k You could put a down payment on the house and that is more important to starting a life together than spending so much money on a superficial party whose primary purpose is to be a gloating currency on Facebook. Understand and be mentally prepared to lose this argument.

11. Remind her constantly the reasons you love her. You can be logical and analytical about it, just compliment her.

12. Support her career. Support her career. And support her career again until she retires. And when she retires support her hobbies with the same fervor.

13. Don't forget how powerful a simple caress can be. Give her a massage, kiss her in the morning. These touches add up.

14. Being unromantic isn't an excuse to be a sociopath. Always show her empathy and understanding because while you aren't lovey dovey you are still — at the end of the day — a compassionate and loving person. TC mark

A Hysterical Woman Handed Me An Old Telephone And I Regret Taking It From Her

Posted: 27 Jul 2015 06:30 AM PDT

Flickr / André Zehetbauer
Flickr / André Zehetbauer

Producer's note: Someone on Quora asked: Do you have any true demonic stories/encounters to share? Here is one of the best answers that's been pulled from the thread.

beetlejuice

I was a young man, in my mid 20s. I frequently chose to work graveyard shift wherever I was. During a widely transitional period of my life I was working at a service station.

Around 3 AM one Wednesday morning, an older vehicle exited the highway, tires screeching, and pulled into the self-service fuel stop. I prepared myself for the robbery, made certain the doors were secured and waited. A disheveled blonde lady, in a black dress ran toward the building, bag in hand. She stopped at the window. “You have to help me,” she started, and before I could utter, “Ma’am I can’t leave the building”, she produced an old black AT&T table phone from the bag. “They’re after me, they won’t leave me alone, they keep finding me. This has to be how!”

Mind you, on overnight, I’d seen my share of crazies, scam artists and criminals, she was different though, she was obviously certain this phone was the source of her woes, and she was legitimately petrified.

“Okay Miss, just leave it here, I’ll get rid of it for you.” It was a quality phone, one of those old 10 pounders you could hear ringing three doors down, and well she was obviously crazy, so what could it hurt, right?

I kept and used the phone, probably for a month or so until I decided I’d be moving on. Continuing with the adventure of my life, I decided I needed a change of scenery, and departed for my boyhood hometown. I’d stay with my older brother until I established myself. The third floor of his home wasn’t being used. I’d stay up there.

I’d been there three days, hadn’t really even unpacked yet. I had a job waiting for me up there, and I’d get things in order when the weekend came around. I got home one evening, my brothers wife met me.

“Al, how did you get the phone company here so fast? I didn’t even see the truck!”

“Phone company? They won’t be out till next week, why?”

“Well… Your phone has been ringing all day.”

Hmmmm. Well, I’d only brought one phone with me, and yeah you guessed it, Black AT&T table phone. Two problems. Problem one, it hadn’t yet been unpacked. Problem two, even if it had, no wiring or phone service to that floor.

“Are you sure it was my phone, not something on the TV, or maybe next door?”

“No, she answered. “It’s your phone, I could hear it on the stairs to the third floor.”

I’d showered, waited for my brother to get home and when he did, we sat down for dinner. Ten minutes into the meal, the ebony princess started ringing. I ignored it, and after a dozen or so rings it stopped. Five minutes later it started again, and I couldn’t pretend I didn’t hear it again.

“Go answer the damned thing,” my brother said. Musing at his choice of words, I took the two flights of stairs, and saw the phone sitting on the nightstand next to my desk. There it sat, no wires attached, ringing away. Putting aside the question of how the hell it got unpacked, and what static electrical phenomena was making it ring, I answered the phone. What I heard was mostly static, crackling on the line, and off in the distance something like low moaning from multiple sources. Right before I slammed the handset down, I swear I heard a low guttural voice ask me, “Where are you?”

That was the last night I ever saw the phone. I picked it up off the table, took it down to my car, drove to the Genesee River and promptly threw it in. TC mark

This answer originally appeared at Quora: The best answer to any question. Ask a question, get a great answer. Learn from experts and get insider knowledge.

12 Former Players Reveal Exactly How Their Girlfriends Officially Won Them Over

Posted: 27 Jul 2015 02:42 PM PDT

sokobanz
sokobanz

1. “A few years ago I was dating lots of women simultaneously, ditching anyone who demanded ‘girlfriend status’ and literally picking their replacement on Tinder the next day. I actually logged girls into my phone with notes about what they looked like because it got too hard to remember who was who. One night I gave my regular ‘thanks but no thanks’ bullshit spiel to yet another woman who demanded exclusivity after a month, and she stared back at me and said, ‘Unacceptable.’ She took a stand and I was so impressed by that. I knew right then she was worth changing for.”

— Matteo, 25

beetlejuice

2. “Early into dating my long-term girlfriend, I had a big job interview. Right before I left, she looked at me in all seriousness and told me that I was smart and capable and that I was more than qualified for the gig, even though I definitely wasn't. I didn't realize the impact she'd had on me until I was offered the position and looking back, I knew I'd killed it because my girl had made me believe in myself. My mindset morphed that day—from laughing off the idea of a serious relationship until at least 30, to seeing the value of holding onto the right person.”

— Ryan D., 24

beetlejuice

3. “One word: ultimatum. ‘Stop being a shithead, or I'm leaving you,’ she said, or something like that. Sometimes a guy needs to be manhandled a little. I definitely did. Luckily I was smart enough not to fuck things up with the love of my life just so I could keep chasing pussy.”

— Jared, 32

beetlejuice

4. “About eighteen months into dating my fiancée, I finished fumbling through the punch line of a joke and she started cracking up—and not in a fake way. I'm the first to admit I'm not the greatest storyteller, and I could tell she actually thought I was hilarious. It had to be because she loved me. Until that moment I'd spent so much time being a dick of a boyfriend, practically ignoring her at parties because I cared more about my friends and other ‘fuckable’ women. Things were different after that.”

— Mitty, 26

beetlejuice

5. “I was an entitled fuckhead who figured he’d always have tons of money because he was born and raised rich. I was living the ‘models and bottles’ life in New York after graduating because I could, but I kept a girlfriend who looked the part to take to weddings and family functions. My world was totally rocked when my family lost everything in the 2008 financial crisis, and my parents had to cut me off. I expected my girlfriend, whom I'd thought of as pure arm candy up to that point, to dump me immediately. But when I told her what'd happened, she didn't blink. She was the first person who made me realize I was worth more than my checking account balance. Seven years later, she's still my rock.”

— Parker, 28

beetlejuice

6. “My girlfriend was just as much of a player as I was when we first met. We agreed to keep things simple because neither of us was interested in settling down. Six months in, though, we were at home eating Thai food on the couch, watching a bad movie when she paused the TV and pointed out that we were having a blast together. We've been living together for two years now and monogamy’s never been a problem for either of us. Sometimes it’s just about meeting your match.”

— Finn, 29

beetlejuice

7. “When I met my future wife, she was waiting tables and I was an asshole who thought he was above dating waitresses. I was young and dumb and handsome as fuck and I had a ‘good’ job. So my social life consisted of fucking a different girl every week, after taking them each to the same neighborhood spot and then suggesting a nightcap back at my place. One night when my latest fuck buddy went to the bathroom during dinner, I caught myself staring at our waitress and it hit me that she was the reason I'd been going there so often. It was amazing, how hard she worked and how she handled all the asshole customers like me with such grace. I wanted to be with her, so I stayed behind that night to ask her out and I pledged to give her the respect she deserved. We've been together ever since.”

— Philip, 31

beetlejuice

8. “For a while, I cheated on my college girlfriend like crazy. The only reason I even had a girlfriend was because I wanted a go-to date for frat formals. Anyway, she finally found out and confronted me about everything. I remember looking into her eyes as she listed all the evidence that I'd been a total jackass. I could see that she wasn't angry or crazy jealous, necessarily. She was just hurt. She didn't want to rant against me, or punish me. She wanted to understand. She won me over that night and turned me into a faithful man.”

— Theo, 24

beetlejuice

9. “I was a club-hopping idiot in my mid-twenties doing the work-hard-play-hard thing when I met the woman who made me realize there’s more to life than having fun and getting laid. She was a colleague and I was telling a lame glory story at the water cooler and everyone was amused—except for her. With one look of disapproval bordering on disgust, she made me question my entire approach to life. It took six months to make some real changes and to convince her that I was worth a shot, but I worked hard at becoming someone good enough to date her and I'm grateful to her for straightening me out.”

— Lance, 35

beetlejuice

10. “You know that scene in ‘As Good As It Gets’ where Jack Nicholson tells Helen Hunt, ‘You make me want to be a better man’? That's how I feel about my current girlfriend. She blindsided me at 30 with her intellect, charm, good looks, and heart. I used to mock people for having a social conscience, let alone a conventional monogamous relationship, and now I'm the married dude volunteering on weekends alongside his do-gooder wife.”

— Paul, 36

beetlejuice

11. “I brought my girlfriend of six months to my law firm's holiday party as a first year Associate. We weren't seriously dating because I was career focused and intent on staying single so I could sleep around without feeling guilty. But that night we were standing around making small talk with a few Partners when I said the most moronic thing possible. Know what my girl did? She stepped in with the quickest, most effective conversation switch-up possible. I'll never forget that. She's my personal hero. I’m planning to propose next month.”

— Alfredo, 26

beetlejuice

12. “When my girlfriend of one month told me she wanted a threesome, I realized I didn’t have to be so afraid of commitment. For guys who think of relationships as suffocating, dating a woman who likes getting it on with other women is the mother fucking answer. You don't have to be a relationship-phobe when you know you can order up a spicy side dish whenever you want. I love my girlfriend so fucking much.”

— Kyle, 27 TC mark

16 Little Things A ‘Keeper’ Does Without Being Asked

Posted: 27 Jul 2015 01:14 PM PDT

NickBulanovv
NickBulanovv

1. They pick you up from the airport. Depending on your job and where you’re at in life travel can be a rare treasure or a common annoyance. But it never gets so old that it’s not without the little thrill of landing and realizing your home again. You get to hug your loved one and sleep in your own bed. If you’re in a city where you have cars, it’s expected that they offer to pick you up. Who doesn’t want to come home after a long flight to the place they know they are so cared for they don’t even have to ask to be picked up?

2. They plan your birthday. One of the major perks of being in a relationship is having someone to celebrate life milestones with — like getting a year older. Your loved one should take the initiative to make sure something is planned on this day without being asked. It doesn’t have to be grandiose — even a regular at home dinner with your favorite food. The point is you feel special and you take the time together to celebrate life.

3. They ask how they can help. The best partners play the part of the cheerleader, not the coach. They listen — without interrupting — when you need to talk through a bad day or a frustrating problem. And then they ask how they can help. If they’re on their phone half-listening and half crushing a game of 2048 and can’t be bothered to even offer to help, the red flag couldn’t be clearer: they simply don’t care.

4. They bring home champagne when you tell them exciting news. If your partner jump, unasked, at the opportunity to celebrate a promotion or landing a big client or whatever big news you’ve just told them, they aren’t the kind of person you want to keep around. Either they aren’t the kind of person who celebrates the joys of life, or worse, they don’t want to celebrate YOUR triumphs specifically.

5. They’re polite to your family and friends. They go out of their way to make them feel special because they know they will be a part of their time for a long time.

6. They reciprocate oral. No solid, healthy relationship can exist where one partner gives and the other doesn’t reciprocate without asking.

7. They address their issues. No one is perfect and we all come with our own baggage. However, only people you should really never ever consider dating just sit around and wallow in them. You shouldn’t have to ask someone to want to be better than they are now (and really, you can’t do anything if they lack that drive, it has to come from within). A keeper isn’t someone who’s perfect, it’s someone who’s improving.

8. They offer to help you move. If you’re not living together yet and you are moving, they will offer to help. Because you need help and it’s unpleasant but that’s just what you do when you love someone. They are there for you, unasked.

9. They take care of you when you’re sick. They rub your muscles when you’re sore, buy you soup when you’ve got a cold, and bring home cough drops when your throat sounds sore. If someone plans to grow old with you, they’re going to care for your body now.

10. They buy the wine/beer/liquor you prefer. They want to make you happy, and they want to do it of their own accord.

11. They tell you you’re hot. When you take extra time to look good for them when you’re going on a special date or to an event together they take the time to note that you look extra nice. Physical attraction is important in relationships and it’s one of those things that proliferates itself — if you talk about being attracted to your partner they’ll be more confident and appreciate the time they put into their appearance — which makes them actually more attractive.

12. They listen to your favorite band, read your favorite book and try your favorite style of cuisine. They don’t have to love it and they don’t have to do it all the time. But they try it because you love it and they hold your taste in esteem.

13. They text you when they’re on a trip without you. Even if it’s a boys trip. Because it takes less than 60 seconds to write one “off to spend the day doing x activity, miss you, have a great day” text. So, whatever stories people make up about how they’re focused on work or quality time are stemming from an unhealthy place of avoidance and dishonesty. They’ll never make you beg to be acknowledged.

14. They plan for the future. No one asking anyone to buy a ring after the first date but a Keeper is someone who plans for their future — and after a reasonable amount of time that future includes you. How serious can someone be about a future with you if they aren’t even planning for their own future. They take things like their health and their finances seriously because to them, the future is a concrete place they want to be.

15. They buy you presents or do nice things for you ‘just because.’ Occasional flowers or a bag of your favorite candy because they don’t sell it at very many stores and they came across it. A photo hung on the wall because it’s too high for you to reach or because you’re not very good with a drill. If someone can semi-frequently surprise you with a for-no-good-reason sweet gesture, they’re the kind of person who will be good in the long run.

16. They tell you they love you. There’s nothing sadder than having to ask someone to tell you they love you. No one would make someone they love do this. When you love someone, you want them to know they are loved. So you communicate it. With words. Often. TC mark

41 Examples Of Hauntingly Beautiful Famous Last Words

Posted: 27 Jul 2015 01:32 PM PDT

Paisley Scotland
Paisley Scotland

1. "I love you very much, my dear Beaver."

Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980), to his partner Simone de Beauvoir.


2. "Pardonnez-moi, monsieur. Je ne l'ai pas fait exprès." ("Pardon me, sir. I did not do it on purpose.")

Marie Antoinette (1755-1793), to her executioner, after accidentally stepping on his foot.


3. "Valerie."

T.S. Eliot (1888-1965), whispering the name of his wife.


4. "You are wonderful."

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (1859-1930), to his wife.


5. "Goodnight my kitten."

Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961), to his wife Mary, before committing suicide.


6. "I knew it! I knew it! Born in a hotel room and, goddamn it, dying in a hotel room."

Eugene O'Neill (1888-1953), in a Boston hotel.


7. "I'm bored with it all."

Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965).


8. "I must go in, for the fog is rising."

Emily Dickinson (1830-1886).


9. "Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow."

Steve Jobs (1955-2011).


10. "I hope this exit is joyful and I hope never to return."

Frida Kahlo (1907-1954), in her last diary entry.


11. "I am just going outside and may be some time."

Captain Lawrence Oates (1880-1912), before walking into a blizzard during the Terra Nova Expedition.


12. "I don't think they even heard me."

Yukio Mishima (1925-1970), before committing suicide.


13. "Quite the contrary!"

Henrik Ibsen (1828-1906), to his nurse who suggested his health was improving.


14. "I'd like you to give my love to my family and friends."

Ted Bundy (1946-1989), before being executed for murder.


15. "One last drink, please."

Jack Daniel (1846-1911).


16. "Leave the shower curtain on the inside of the tub."

Conrad Hilton (1887-1917), in response to being asked if he had any words of wisdom.


17. "Everything is an illusion."

Mata Hari (1876-1917), to her executioner.


18. "Please don't leave me. Please don't leave me."

Chris Farley (1964-1997), to a prostitute in his hotel room.


19. "I'd like to be in hell in time for dinner."

Edward H. Rulloff (1819-1871), convicted serial killer; last person to be hanged in the state of New York.


20. "Love one another."

George Harrison (1943-2001), to his family.


21. "My God, what's happened?"

Princess Diana (1961-1997).


22. "Why do you weep? Did you think I was immortal?"

King Louis XIV (1638-1715).


23. "I'll finally get to see Marilyn."

Joe DiMaggio (1914-1999), about Marilyn Monroe.


24. "I feel certain that I am going mad again. I feel we can't go through another of those terrible times. And I shan't recover this time… I can't go on spoiling your life any longer. I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been."

Virginia Woolf (1882-1941), in her suicide note.


25. "Lord help my poor soul."

Edgar Allen Poe (1809-1849).


26. "Yes, I am."

John Lennon (1940-1980), after being asked by an EMT in the ambulance if he was John Lennon.


27. "Tell Mother, tell Mother, I died for my country… useless… useless."

John Wilkes Booth (1838-1865), after being shot by police for killing Abraham Lincoln.


28. "Go on, get out! Last words are for fools who haven't said enough!"

Karl Marx (1818-1883), after being asked what his last words were.


29. "Is everyone else alright?"

Robert F. Kennedy (1925-1968), after being shot.


30. "La tristesse durera toujours." ("The sadness will last forever.")

Vincent van Gogh (1853-1890), to his brother Theo, while on his deathbed.


31. "I want nothing but death."

Jane Austen (1775-1817), to her sister Cassandra, who asked if there was anything she wanted.


32. "I am not the least afraid to die."

Charles Darwin (1809-1882).


33. "I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis."

Humphrey Bogart (1899-1957).


34. "Friends applaud, the comedy is finished."

Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827).


35. "Oh, I am not going to die, am I? He will not separate us, we have been so happy."

Charlotte Brontë (1816-1855), to her husband.


36. "Please know I am quite aware of the hazards. Women must try to do things as men have tried. When they fail, their failure must be but a challenge to others."

Amelia Earhart (1897-1937), in the last letter sent to her husband before her flight.


37. "I see black light."

Victor Hugo (1802-1885).


38. "Is it the Fourth?"

Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826).


39. "I love you Sarah. For all eternity, I love you."

James K. Polk (1795-1849).


40. "I have offended God and mankind because my work did not reach the quality it should have."

Leonardo da Vinci (1452-1519).


41. "Either that wallpaper goes, or I do."

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900). TC mark

8 Things That Happen When You And Your Single BFF Unknowingly Cock Block Each Other

Posted: 27 Jul 2015 12:33 PM PDT

Twenty20 / Jess.xn
Twenty20 / Jess.xn

1. You let guys go to avoid unnecessary competition.

Your friendship is not the Olympics. You don’t need to compete over who goes home with the gorgeous blue-eyed beauty. You both are satisfied going home with each other and eating an entire pizza which you had delivered at 2 am. Let’s call it a tie that you’re more than happy to accept.

2. When you’re on the dance floor you only dance with each other.

You have so much fun dancing with your best friend that you are oblivious to the ten other guys trying to enter your clearly formed force field. There’s no bigger cock block than an impenetrable circle of females dancing with each other.

3. You buy each other drinks without even noticing there’s guys around who will do that for you.

You both take turns on buying rounds, but you don’t realize there’s a perfectly willing boy right next to you who can afford to expense those two gin and tonics.

4. On nights you don’t feel like going out you convince your BFF to stay in with you.

You both have the same hopeless mindset. Why spend the night in a skin tight dress, sucking in your gut, when your elastic waistband sweatpants are calling your name? You have no trouble persuading your BFF of the better option. Netflix and sweats clearly win the battle.

5. You only complain about being single when she does.

You often think to yourself life might be more enjoyable if you had a boyfriend, but you’re only willing to admit it when she is. This stops you both from realizing that you’re probably not as happy with your single status as you thought you were.

6. If she has a date with a guy you make her feel bad for not hanging out with you instead.

“Let’s go get drinks tonight!” She tells you she can’t because she is meeting a guy she found on Tinder. “You know he’s going to try and have sex with you and never call you again right?” Don’t guilt your BFF into spending time with you, one night apart won’t kill you (you hope).

7. Or if she has a date with a guy you pretend to be excited.

You say, “OMG so exciting!” You think, “Please don’t go and get a boyfriend and leave me to survive this single life alone.” She can usually sense your fake excitement and immediately becomes disinterested in the prospective suitor because of it.

8. You set extremely high standards for who you approve of her dating.

The percentage of her finding a doctor with a six pack, and a cute puppy is slim to none, but maybe that’s intentional. TC mark

Read This If You’re Debating Whether Or Not To Go Out Tonight

Posted: 24 Jul 2015 12:41 PM PDT

harold.lloyd
harold.lloyd

There will always be an infinite number of good reasons to stay in at night.

Because the party seems lame. Because you're tired after a long week of work. Because the possibility of this night turning into one that you talk about for months or years to come seems so impossibly small and you're done being tirelessly optimistic about it all. Nothing new ever happens and nobody interesting ever shows up and you can see how it's all going to end before it even begins. So you might as well stay home. You might as well relax into what you can be sure will be another mediocre night in your apartment. You have Netflix. And that's all you need.

There's nothing wrong with staying in now and then. We all need our down time and we all need our space. But the problem is when it becomes a pattern. Staying in. Checking out. Choosing certainty over uncertainty and forgetting to let chance into our lives.

We want excitement but we never seem to want to leave the house. We want change but we can't be bothered changing from pajamas. We want lives that are varied and full but we choose comfort at each opportunity. We blame our lives for staying stagnant. And we blame them from the comfort of our living room couch.

I'm not arguing that one night out is going to turn your whole life around – not at all. I've been out enough times to know how it will go – your friend Shannon will drag you out to that party. You'll be the only single person there. You'll pour a drink, refrain from outwardly scowling and count the hours until you can retire. Worst-case scenario, you'll be trapped in the corner talking to someone's mind-numbing cousin named Anne. Best-case scenario, you will spend an hour talking to some impossibly cute guy named Jimmy whose girlfriend is working tonight. Shannon will take home her boyfriend. You will take home yourself.

It takes more than one night for your life to start happening. But here's the thing: It takes that first party where you don't know anyone to get to the party where you do. It takes that first forced conversation with a stranger to start the process of making a new friend. It takes more than one or two nights where you're grumpy and out of your comfort zone to build a life that fully thrives inside of it. You can't avoid those necessary evils. Not if you want to build a life that doesn't take place entirely between the confines of your own apartment. Not if you want it to progress.

Because here's the thing about those little interactions that seem so arbitrary – they resurface when you least expect it.

Maybe eight months from now you're out of work. Maybe Shannon posts a "Help Wanted" ad to your Facebook wall. Maybe Anne sees it. Maybe she knows someone who's looking to hire in your field. Maybe in that half hour of dull conversation you shared over lukewarm beer, she learned something about you that impressed her. Maybe she scores you that interview. Maybe it lands you the job.

Maybe two years from now you're sitting in a coffee shop trying to sort out a project from work and Jimmy walks in and you both give each other that quizzical 'Don't I know you' head tilt. Maybe he approaches your table and after a few moments of fumbling awkwardly through possible mutual friends, you both proclaim, "Shannon," and share a knowing laugh. Maybe he pulls up a chair. Maybe he tells you about what he's been up to and the beautiful girlfriend doesn't seem to be in the picture. Maybe he gets your number. Maybe four dates later he doesn't feel like much of a stranger anymore.

Maybe no single night turns our lives around. Maybe nine times out of ten, we do nothing exciting, meet no one important and make no memories that are really worth remembering. But maybe one out of ten times we do.

Maybe one time out of ten we meet someone extraordinary. Maybe one time out of ten we stumble across a new opportunity. Maybe one out of every ten times we go home with starry eyes and open hearts after a truly incredible night with the people who honestly matter. And maybe that one time makes each of the nine duds before it seem worthwhile. Makes us glad we pushed through. Makes us glad we didn't pack it in at quiet night number seven.

Chances are, this won't be the best night of your life. Chances are you'll come home at midnight, vaguely angry that you wasted the last of your lipstick and consumed 500 calories of beer that you cannot get back. But that's the thing about your life – it isn't meant to be a series of instant gratifications. It builds on itself and that building happens slowly. It happens each time we say 'Yes' when we'd honestly rather say 'No.'

Maybe your life won't explode into beautiful, untamed chaos by the time the clock strikes 12 but maybe it doesn't have to. Maybe each night is not an end in itself but a small stepping stone that eventually moves you toward a bigger, better life. One that is fuller and richer and wilder than you ever expected it to be, because you kept welcoming change in, even when it seemed easier not to.

We think that one night isn't enough to make a difference – but we're wrong.

One night might make a whole world of difference.

But it definitely won't if you spend it alone on your couch. TC mark