Thought Catalog

‘If She’s Faking It, I’ll Know’ And 6 Other Outrageous Myths About Female Orgasms Men Need To Stop Believing

Posted: 29 Jul 2015 11:52 AM PDT


1. "If she's faking it, I'll know."

Oh, no, babe—not true! You'd be surprised by how believably cinematic some women can get when trying to dupe you into thinking they've finished, so don't get too cocky (ha) if you think every orgasm you've ever prompted was the real deal. Seriously, dude…in all likelihood, at least one of ya girls has faked it at least once—in fact, studies show that over half of heterosexual women have Meryl Streep'd orgasms in the past. To be perfectly clear, though, I don't mean to encourage "faking it"—if your girl tends to pretend, she's doing it because (A) she's too preoccupied with keeping you blissfully ignorant to focus on what feels good for her; (B) she's too scared you'll grow tired of her in the long term if she doesn’t enjoy sex with you as much as you'd like to think; (C) she's too insecure to make you feel anything less than sexually deft, you sex GOD, you; (D) she's too uncomfortable to tell you what she likes, so she'd just rather wrap it up than clue you in; (E) all of the above. In other words, we fake it because society tells us our orgasm is disposable while yours, of course, is essential. Not that chill.

2. "Vaginal orgasms beat clitoral orgasms."

Smh, FALSE! First of all, many experts argue that it's fully impossible to bring a woman to climax without getting her clit involved, and those who disagree report that, at most, only about 30% of women can achieve orgasm via intercourse alone. A century ago, OG asshole Sigmund Freud proposed that clitoral orgasms are "infantile," and that real, matured women climax exclusively by way of vaginal intercourse (cuz, you know, real women make babies, so their orgasms should always be centered on the reproductive tract…duh). Surely, this fantastically fucked up, misogynistic theory—which has followed us, directly informing sex culture, for the past 100 years or so—not only prompted the 'faking it' phenomenon…it also inspired the idea that vaginal orgasms are more intense and "real" than clitoral orgasms. Not the case. Every orgasm is different, but there's no empirical evidence to support the notion that the vagina produces a stronger sexual response than the clitoris.

3. "Maybe if she stopped using a vibrator, she'd *get there* easier."

Groan. I know vibrators can be verrrrrry intimidating to boys with big pee-pees like urs, but vibrators don't desensitize the clitoris—they just don't. In fact, vibrators (slash vibrating dildos), along with kegel exercises can be extremely helpful tools for toning a woman's muscles, such that she achieves orgasms more regularly (and more fully) during sex. Whaddayaknow.

4. "…Or, better yet, maybe if I stopped using a condom…"

STOP. SHUT UP. DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT. Condoms are now thinner and less detectable than ever before, and if you take the necessary steps to make them entirely unproblematic—surprise!—they won't be a problem. Use lube and make putting on a condom sexy, and I guarantee you, it won't be an issue for either of you. In fact, a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine in 2013 found that sexual arousal and general pleasure/orgasm weren't (statistically) significantly different in those who used condoms versus those who didn't. In other words, a little latex ain't no thang—except when it prevents STIs and unwanted pregnancies, lol! If using a condom is such a problem for you, it's because you want to make it a problem—so don't.

5. "If I physically stimulate all the right spots, she'll definitely climax."

Nein. Most women need to feel that they're in a safe, comfortable, loving environment to physically enjoy sex to the fullest—that's not at all to say that all women like exclusively soft, vanilla sex—they don't. But far more often than not, the sexual dynamic and, of course, the amount of foreplay that precedes sex need to be *right* in order for a woman to climax. So, boys, be sure not only to warm your woman up for the requisite 20 to 30 minutes it takes her to get satisfyingly wet ‘n’ ready—also do your best to foster an orgasm-friendly environment. When she does come, btw, you should know that her brain releases a bunch of oxytocin, a powerful chemical also known as the "cuddle hormone," since it stimulates feelings of intimacy, such that she's often tryna cuddle post-sex. You release oxytocin, too; however, your brain simultaneously gets flooded with higher levels of testosterone, which often counters the effects of the oxytocin. So, next time you want to PTFO immediately after sex, consider that ya girl has a strong chemical reaction going down in her noggin that makes her want to stay close to you—ain't no shame in the cuddle game, and if you indulge it, she'll probably feel way more satisfied and therefore more comfortable/ready for pleasure in the future. Win-win.

6. "…And if she can't climax, she's probably a frigid bitch."

Lol. Anorgasmia, the inability to reach orgasm, is fully a thing and may occur in up to 10% of women. A woman with anorgasmia is not necessarily asexual or frigid, at all. She may have never had an orgasm, or she may only be able to climax only during select sexual encounters. And, to be clear, she can definitely still enjoy sex despite her inability to "finish"—orgasm really, really isn't always the goal (although a woman's climax should, just like yours, be a priority). Even besides women with anorgasmia, though, guys tend to think that women who don't have an orgasm every time they have sex are stiff and have low libidos. Not true. There are endless hurdles that might stand between your girl and her orgasm—if you've been reading, I bet you can guess a few: misinformation (AKA, she's been told that her orgasm will always be super difficult to achieve and therefore is not intent on making it happen), discomfort, insecurity…the list goes on. Talk to her, help her feel at ease, and be sure to give her what she likes—she does the same for you, I'm sure.

7. "When it comes to her orgasm, all sexual positions are created equal."

Nope. Remember what I said about getting the clit involved whenever you're going at it? Well, unsurprisingly, some positions make that easier and more stimulating than others—you can, for example, start simple by putting her on top, or if you're feelin' right, you can dabble in the reverse cowgirl arts. And, obviously, the variations don’t end there—just do your research, experiment, and give a shit! TC mark

8 Terrifying True Crime Books That Will Make You Want To Sleep With The Lights On

Posted: 29 Jul 2015 07:45 AM PDT

From listening to Serial to binge watching Law And Order we love learning about true crime because the stories aren’t only frightening, they’ve actually happened, unlike the other books or media we immerse ourselves in. It’s captivating to learn the way crimes unfold and to get a look at the mind behind a criminal or a serial killer. When we read true crime we learn the dizzying ways these charming but psychotic people get into the lives of ordinary people and it’s scary to think about how these stories could happen to anyone.

If you can’t wait until the next season of Serial starts to get your true-crime fix here are 8 of the most compelling true crime stories that will be sure to give you goosebumps.

1. The Last Victim, Jason Moss


Jason Moss was a college student when he began corresponding with living serial killers in prison. When he wrote to John Wayne Gacy, known as the Killer Clown, he portrayed himself as “the perfect victim” based on the types of people Gacy was known to rape and kill – young men.

John Wayne Gacy and Jason Moss meet
John Wayne Gacy and Jason Moss meet

Gacy took the bait and the two ended up meeting in a jail cell twice two months before Gacy was executed. Moss got away, but not without Gacy trying to kill him first. While researching the book Moss became heavily involved in Satanism and tragically killed himself on 6.6.2006.

2. Helter Skelter: The True Story Of The Manson Murders, Vincent Bugliosi


Written by Charles Manson’s prosecuting attorney, Helter Skelter is about the case and the trial surrounding Manson, and goes in-depth about the way the serial killer managed to convince a group of people to perform a series of murders for him. One of deaths discussed in detail (and will make you a little squeamish) is the death of actress Sharon Tate, who was stabbed 16 times when she was only a couple of weeks away from giving birth.

3. Delivered From Evil, Ron Franscell


In Delivered From Evil we hear from people who tell their true story about escaping a mass murderer. From a 12-year-old boy that hides in the closet while a killer murders his entire family to an 11-year-old girl who ends up out at sea when someone murders her family while vacationing, every essay is creepier than the next. Written by award-winning journalist Ron Franscell, this is one of those books that make you realize these things could happen to anyone.

4. Gomorrah, Roberto Saviano


In the Campania region of Naples, Italy, the murder rate is higher here than anywhere else in Europe. Since 1979, 3600 people have been murdered at the hands of Camorra, a Neapolitan mafia-like organization that dominates the area. “Gomorrah” tells the history of Campania and the brutal deaths that have happened; bodies decapitated with circular saws, drowned in mud, and tossed down wells with live grenades.

5. Stranger Beside Me, Ann Rule


Like #4, Stranger Beside Me makes you realize how the serial killers and murderers we see on T.V. could be anyone we meet or know in our own lives. Ann Rule tells her story of not only meeting prolific serial killer Ted Bundy, but working alongside him when the two volunteered at a suicide hotline together. Rule describes Bundy as being sensitive and charismatic and it wasn’t until he was captured she realized the unknown serial killer she had been writing a book about was the guy she worked next to almost every day.

In 2003 she told The Houston Chronicle, "For a long time I was holding out hope that he was innocent, that somehow this all was a terrible mistake. And it wasn't just me, it was all the people who worked with him."

6. The Night Stalker, Phillip Carlo


Phillip Carlo spent three years researching and interviewing serial killer Richard Ramirez on death row before writing The Night Stalker, the in-depth look at Ramirez’s murders and the strange childhood and Satanic worship that surrounded the killer’s life. Ramirez was seen as so captivating and attractive even after he was sent to prison, many women contacted the writer when the book was published

7. Fatal Vision, Joe McGinniss


When his wife and two daughters were found dead physician and Green Beret Captain Jeffrey MacDonald claimed it was the result of a random break in and that he woke up to find three hippies slaughtering his family with a knife, ice pick and club, saying "acid is groovy, kill the pigs." When investigators couldn’t find any evidence to support MacDonald’s story the husband and father ended up on trial himself. First he was convicted by the Army and 9 years later in a civilian court. In Fatal Vision, the author looks at the facts behind the case and how a father could kill his own family.

8. Raven: The Untold Story of the Rev. Jim Jones and His People, Tim Reiterman


In Raven, writer Tim Reiterman looks at the definitive history of Rev. Jim Jones and how he led his cult following The Peoples Temple to the largest mass suicide in history. From his childhood in Indiana to understanding the mindset of the people that followed him, Raven looks at one of the most haunting true crime stories. TC mark

11 Of The Most Hilarious Lyrics In The History Of Pop Music From Biggie To Sarah McLachlan

Posted: 29 Jul 2015 07:13 AM PDT

via YouTube
via YouTube

1. "There's no one left to finger" – by Sarah McLachlan "Adia"

Famous last words of every small-town lesbian who's hooked up with all the available girls within a 30-mile radius before she packs up her bags and moves to the big city.

2. "I sometimes watch you in your sleep" – by Lauryn Hill "The Sweetest Thing"

If you ever included this Lauryn Hill quote in a love letter addressed to your current crush signed "Your Secret Admirer," said love letter would be tested for fingerprints at a forensics lab by local law enforcement and likely earn you a restraining order.

3. "MCs wanna eat me but it's Ramadan" – by Foxy Brown "Hot Spot"

Every year during the ninth month of the Islamic calendar, female rapper Foxy Brown is untouchable. Outside of that timeframe, it's open season.

4. "Them chickens is ash and I'm lotion" – by Mariah Carey "It's Like That"

'Lotion' can be used as a codename for your stealth operation to take down any arch enemy named Ashley.

5. "But don't say my car is topless, say the titties is out" – by Nas "Made You Look"

What a clever metaphor! I'm shocked that this one never caught on. (Sarcasm)

6. "Oh, didn't quite hit the note, that wasn't such a good time" – by Janet Jackson "Runaway"

Janet Jackson repeats the phrase "and I just know we’ll have a good time" six times to close out her song "Runaway." During the fourth iteration, the pitch of her voice drops a bit when uttering "a good time." Thus, "Oh, didn't quite hit the note, that wasn't such a good time" has a double meaning: it is unclear if Jackson is referring to the experience of singing the previous line or to the quality of her voice. This pun is so meta it's mind-blowing.

7. "Got buffoons eatin' my pussy while I watch cartoons" – by Lil' Kim "Queen Bitch"

In one sentence, Lil' Kim delivers some of the most vulgar lyrics in rap history, shoehorned against some of the most innocuous lyrics in rap history.

8. "We rockin' stilletos, ho!" – by Crime Mob ft. Miss Aisha "Stilletos (Pumps)"

In lieu of a proper chorus, this announcement is chanted eight consecutive times for a grand total of twenty-four throughout the song.

9. "If the light is off then it isn't on" – by Hilary Duff "So Yesterday"

Hilary Duff dethrones Aristotle as the most influential philosopher in the history of human civilization with her propositional logic.

10. "Looking back on when I was a little nappy-headed boy" – by Celine Dion "I Wish" (Stevie Wonder cover)

Apparently somebody hit Celine Dion on the head with a blunt object causing her to confabulate a transracial and transgender childhood identity.

11. "Allow me to lace these lyrical douches in your bushes" – by Notorious B.I.G. "Big Poppa"

According to an annotation on Rap Genius…nevermind. I just can't with this one.

*Disclaimer: Indeed, 9 of the 11 quotes from this list are lyrics by female musicians. This just means I happen to listen to chick music 82% of my time. TC mark

When You Feel Yourself Falling Out Of Love With Him

Posted: 29 Jul 2015 12:03 PM PDT

Franca Gimenez
Franca Gimenez

It doesn’t hit you all at once. It’s a gradual creep, a feeling you can’t exactly put to words. Your gut tells you things aren’t right. But there’s no specific reason. No one thing you can point to and say, “YEP! That’s it.”

It doesn’t work that way. Instead, confusion begins to cloud everything you once felt so strongly. You are a walking mannequin, you know the routine. You’ve got the moves choreographed and figure going through the motions is just something that happens. This is just what happens.

So you ignore. You deflect. You avoid any moments of truth. Because the truth will come out eventually. And you finally have a sick understanding of the phrase: “The truth hurts.”

You notice things begin to change, slowly. It’s nothing big or grandiose. But you don’t jump at your phone when he calls anymore. You let it ring. Once. Twice. Occasionally, you just let voicemail get it. You come up with excuses as to why; work is really busy right now, your mom needed help moving furniture, you were absolutely exhausted and asleep napping. But excuses are just that — excuses. Your phone was within reach the whole time.

He knows you’re pulling away so he holds you even tighter. You end hugs first and wonder if he knows you kiss him with a different mouth now. His insecurities begin to pop up and you hate yourself for it. He starts to crave more reassurance, talks about the future in the way you both used to love doing. When you were just kids sitting on the roof of his car, pointing out constellations and coming up with potential baby names. You were just babies, you remind yourself. How could you map out an entire lifetime?

He begins increasing the amount of times he says “I love you” and you, of course, say it back. But you notice it burns a little in your throat. It tastes a bit like betrayal. It’s not a lie, you love him. You would pull out your own organs and give them to him. You would take bullets and protect him with every muscle you’ve got. But love doesn’t mean in love.


You shut that thought out immediately.

You’ve put in too much work and time for this to fail. He’s the one. That’s what you said and you still sort of believe it. But you don’t dream of falling asleep in his arms anymore. You dream about empty beds and walking down the street by yourself. You’re starting to collect a list of experiences you won’t have if this is it. You keep trying to sand down the wings popping up beneath your shoulder blades.

This is just what happens, you tell yourself again. Relationships have ups and downs, and I can’t just walk away. It’s fine, you keep saying.

So you keep trying. For months, you keep avoiding and ignoring and deflecting. You notice your reflection is getting hard to look at in the mirror. Because she doesn’t really look happy anymore. She looks a bit empty. You see a shell of your former self.

But his love is good and pure. He goes to movies with your mom and all of your friends adore him. He rubs your stomach when you hurt. He likes the same books, movies, music. He is good. He is a good person. Someone you once imagined marrying. The two of you running off during summer break and eloping in some forested area. He was your Johnny Cash and you were his June Carter.

Was. Were. Back then.

You can’t keep pretending. You can’t keep using past tense about your love.

You love him, but like a best friend. Like someone you never want to hurt. You want to put his heart with yours and lock them up in a safe house. But you can’t. You can’t keep doing this.

It’s unfair to everyone. Because the truth is, you fell out of love.

And no movie prepared you for the heartbreaking reality of it. TC mark

The Creepy Backstories Behind Your 10 Favorite Childhood Nursery Rhymes

Posted: 29 Jul 2015 10:07 AM PDT


1. Three Blind Mice

Three blind mice, three blind mice,

See how they run, see how they run,

They all ran after the farmer’s wife,

Who cut off their tails with a carving knife,

Did you ever see such a thing in your life,

As three blind mice?

This one is actually pretty creepy without the historical context (note to self: ask mom why she thought it was ok for a six-year-old to gleefully sing this). Queen Mary I is the "farmer's wife" mentioned, although she had a cuter nickname during her reign: "Bloody Mary." You can guess why. The three mice represent three nobleman who weren't really down for Mary implementing Protestantism throughout England, and were convicted for plotting against her. Instead of chopping their tails off, however, Mary just casually burned them at the stake.

2. Rock-A-Bye Baby

Rock-a-bye baby, in the treetop

When the wind blows, the cradle will rock

When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall

And down will come baby, cradle and all.

This song is pretty spooky by itself too. But, consider this the next time you sing this lullaby to a sleeping infant: a proposed origin of the song says that it's about King James II and Mary of Modena passing off a random child as their own in order to ensure a Roman Catholic heir to the throne.

3. Ring Around The Rosie

Ring-a-round the rosie,

A pocket full of posies,

Ashes! Ashes!

We all fall down.

Nothing like teaching children about the bubonic plague as early as possible! “Ring Around The Rosie” is not actually about frolicking around a rose bush, but about the plague that killed 75-200 million people in the mid-1300s. The symptoms of contracting the plague included a red rash in the shape on a ring on the skin, as well as sneezing (which explains 95% of the lyrics of the rhyme). "Pocket full of Posies" infers to how people would fill their pockets with sweet smelling items to cover up the perpetual stench of death, and also because some were convinced that the illness spread via bad smells.

4. Mary, Mary Quite Contrary

Mary Mary quite contrary,

How does your garden grow?

With silver bells and cockleshells

And pretty maids all in a row.

Queen Mary I was sooooo popular and fun, she actually got a couple of nursery rhymes inspired by her. The "garden" is suggested to refer to a graveyard because, as was conveyed in “Three Blind Mice,” Mary was a big fan of executing people. "Silver bells" and "cockleshells" refers to Mary's preferred instruments of torture, while "pretty maids" alludes to the guillotine (nicknamed at the time as The Maiden).

5. London Bridge Is Falling Down

London Bridge is falling down,

Falling down, falling down.

London Bridge is falling down,

My fair lady.

Not to be confused with the most underrated Fergie song ever, these London Bridge lyrics have many horrific theoretical meanings behind them. Some suggest it has to do with child sacrifice (their bodies needed to be inserted into the foundation of the bridge to prevent it from falling), but a more commonly supported origin is that it was inspired by a devastating Viking attack in the early 1000s.

6. Jack And Jill

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,

Jack fell down and broke his crown,

And Jill came tumbling after.

You would think this one would be pretty straightforward, but a small town in England claimed that this was about a real couple in the late 1600s who used to sneak up to the top of the hill for some ~*~adulterous activities~*~ (apparently "fetch a pail of water" is some creepy euphemism). Then, as quick as the nursery rhyme itself is, the relationship implodes with Jill getting pregnant, Jack smashing his head open with a rock, and then Jill dying from childbirth. Romantic!

7. Georgie Porgie

Georgie Porgie pudding and pie

Kissed the girls and made them cry

When the boys came out to play

Georgie Porgie ran away.

Maybe you used to taunt anyone on the playground named George with this rhyme, but you probably weren't aware at the time that it (allegedly) refers to a passionate gay sex affair involving European royalty. George Villiers was a Duke attempting to climb up the social ladder, and supposedly dumped Anne of Austria ("Kissed the girls and made them cry") to pursue King James I. Parliament hated the relationship and forced it to end—an instruction George emotionlessly followed without a fuss, despite being so close with the King ("When the boys came out to play, Georgie Porgie ran away").

8. Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall

All the king's horses and all the king's men

Couldn't put Humpty together again.

There are two common theories behind the origins of Humpty Dumpty (neither of which include eggs): it referred to a type of cannon used in the English Civil War that would consistently shatter when lit, or it was a type of brandy that would cause the drinker to have a "great fall" when drunk. Neither are particularly appropriate for small children to be singing about.

9. Pop Goes The Weasel

All around the mulberry bush

The monkey chased the weasel;

The monkey thought ’twas all in good sport

Pop! goes the weasel.

A penny for a spool of thread,

A penny for a needle-

That’s the way the money goes,

Pop! goes the weasel.

What a joyful commemoration of England’s poverty! "Pop goes the weasel" is a saying, made up of Cockney slang, to mean something along the lines of pawning a suit. Essentially what the song is implying is that when a poor man needed to dress up for Sunday, he would pawn his suit earlier on in the week (for extra cash) and then take it back temporarily on Sunday morning for Church.

10. Baa, Baa, Black Sheep

Baa, baa, black sheep, have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full!

One for the master,
One for the dame,
And one for the little boy
Who lives down the lane

Baa, baa, black sheep,
Have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir,
Three bags full…

There has been some debate about the racial message at the center of this nursery rhyme (a couple elementary schools in 2011 replaced the lyrics with "Baa, Baa Rainbow Sheep"), but most scholars agree that the rhyme has to do with the Great Custom tax on wool from 1275. TC mark

21 Things That Happen When You Are Truly In Love With Someone

Posted: 29 Jul 2015 11:02 AM PDT

via Sarah Loven

1. You feel like it will take a lifetime to get to know them.

2. You fight. But you fight because you care. And understand your struggles make the relationship stronger in the long run, that nothing worth doing is easy.

3. You can picture them at 40, 50, 70, 90, and even 100 and what you see in your head still makes you smile with delight.

4. You love their flaws. Discovering a new quirk in them is like discovering a vast new universe.

5. Your sex is dirty. Your sex is passionate. Your sex is boring. Your sex is spiritual. Your sex is beyond dirty. Your sex is so fun. Your sex is silly. Essentially, you have an incredibly versatile sex life that is hard to define because you're always switching it up and finding new ways to please each other.

6. You're just as happy to watch them watch TV than watch the actual show. They're so stunning that just watching them react to a show is more than enough entertainment for you.

7. The way they look at the world, and the way they compose themselves every day in the world inspires you to be a more generous and empathic person.

8. They give you déjà vu. It's an uncanny sensation but it just feels like you have met them before, and loved them deeply for eons.

9. They make the cutest noises.

10. They make you almost believe in magic.

11. Having someone love you so deeply makes you more conscious of the beauty in nature, the wonder that is everything around you.

12. You aren't afraid to expose all of yourself to them — metaphorically and literally. You lay yourself bare and they accept you as you are.

13. They opiate you. A glance or caress from them is like medicine. In fact, when you're sick nothing helps more than having them by your side.

14. Together you can imagine a future that is brighter than anything you thought possible before you met them.

15. Their kisses are a breathe of fresh air, always, even in the morning.

16. When your worst self comes out, they are patient with you and help you come back to yourself. Their presence can do more than any psychologist can do for you.

17. They have a scent that smells like home. Every time you inhale the unique formula that is them a pacific calm washes over you.

18. Everything feels like it's in the right place.

19. When they leave something behind (for instance their watch or a shirt) and you find the item — looking at gives you a warm feeling inside.

20. Every moment with them feels like a movie, a momentous event.

21. You honestly feel like whatever disaster strikes, you have a bedrock and you will be able to make it through with them on your side. TC mark

17 Things Only Chronically Sarcastic People Understand

Posted: 29 Jul 2015 12:12 PM PDT

Cara Delevingne Instagram
Cara Delevingne Instagram

1. Any time a study is published about the benefits of being sarcastic, approximately 20 different people email it to you or tag you in a Facebook post about it.

2. Being around super sweet people often makes you nervous. Not because you don’t like them, but because you’re afraid that you’re going to accidentally hurt their feelings in a matter of seconds.

3. …So when it comes to finding friends, your only choice is basically to find people who are just as brutal as you are.

4. You pretty much live two separate lives when it comes to your work life and your real life. Because if you were as sarcastic with your coworkers as you are with your friends, you would absolutely be fired.

5. Everybody tells you there’s a certain face you make that is known as your “sarcastic face.” You, however, just think of it as your “face.”

6. You find new people exhausting, because you have to be nice and friendly to them… until you know them well enough to unveil your true self.

7. Every time you write someone a nice card, be it for their birthday or wedding or whatever, you have to include the phrase “I’m not being sarcastic when I say this” multiple times.

8. Small talk makes you feel dead on the inside.

9. If you’re going to post an Instagram photo, the caption is always going to be some kind of joke.

10. You probably came across this post because one of your friends saw it and made you read it.

11. If you are forced to watch a movie with your friends that you really don’t want to see, the only thing keeping you from providing a consistent sarcastic commentary throughout the film is respect for your friends.

12. Sue Sylvester from Glee speaks to you in a way that no fictional character ever has before.

13. Any compliment or nice thing you say to a friend or family member must always be prefaced with, “Now, I actually mean this…” Or else they just assume you’re making fun of them.

14. You’re fine with the fact that some people may find your sarcasm unappealing. It’s an acquired taste.

15. …And you get why some people find sarcasm to be off-putting. So while you make an effort to try to be as open-minded and warm as you can, you also appreciate sarcasm for the fact that it allows you to bond with certain people in a silly and strangely honest way.  

16. You try to stay away from the phrase, “Way to go!” Because even when you really mean it, it just does more harm than good.

17. Same goes for the following phrases: good for you, yay, that’s awesome, terrific you’re hilarious, totally, well done. No matter how hard you try, no matter how hard you smile, you will always sound like a dick. Good for you. TC mark

17 Ways That Science Proves Women Are Superior To Men

Posted: 29 Jul 2015 09:45 AM PDT

Shutterstock / ftelkov
Shutterstock / ftelkov

1. Women are smarter than men.

Once women started demanding equal rights, their IQ scores—which had lagged slightly behind men’s for decades—not only caught up with men’s, they surpassed them. According to IQ expert James Flynn, women now outscore men on intelligence tests in Europe, the US, Canada, and New Zealand—and women scored higher everywhere. "The complexity of the modern world is making our brains adapt and raising our IQ,” Flynn says. “But women's have risen faster."

2. Women are more sensual than men.

According to researcher Israel Abramov of the City University of New York, women have a much more finely tuned ability to see slight variations in color than men do—which is why no straight men know what “mauve” or “taupe” are, but all women do. Women also have a superior sense of hearing and can distinguish between different scents far better than men can.

3. Women are better at finding things than men.

Everyone knew that already, but it took psychology professor Diane Halpern to establish that women are better at navigating any given area by using landmarks, which makes them better at finding the lost keys and the missing remote control than men are.

4. Women are cleaner than men.

Again—not exactly news! But a study at San Diego State University of offices nationwide concluded that men’s desks contain far more germs than women’s desks.

5. Women have better immune systems than men.

Estrogen gives women a better natural defense system against bacteria and viruses, according to a study at McGill University.

6. Women tolerate pain better than men.

After all, they have to endure the equivalent of a bowling boll popping out of their vagina every time they give birth. But an episode of the show MythBusters proved that women can hold their hands in freezing water 19% longer than those crybaby men.

7. Women have better memory than men.

A study at Aston University in England concluded that are better than men at remembering things two minutes, 15 minutes, and 24 hours after learning them. A Mayo Clinic study said that not only do women naturally have a better sense of memory than men, the gap widens with age.

8. Women handle stress better than men.

Researchers at the University of Western Ontario concluded that women are far better than men at handling the stress of job interviews. Female brains also secrete more oxytocin—AKA the “cuddle hormone”—than male brains, making women calmer under fire than men are.

9. Women are better at multitasking than men.

Multiple studies on multitasking have shown that women are far superior to men when it comes to handling multiple jobs at once. This must be why no man in world history has been able to simultaneously cook spaghetti, talk on the phone, and change a diaper.

10. Women are better computer programmers than men.

This goes against every possible sexist stereotype, but a study at the University of Sussex found that girls created much more highly sophisticated coding systems when designing 3D games than boys did.

11. Women make better doctors than men.

A Canadian study concluded that female doctors are much more likely than male doctors to adhere to physicians’ guidelines and to prescribe the right drugs for any given ailment.

12. Women make better leaders than men.

The International Journal of Business Governance and Ethics published research concluding that female-led companies are more successful than ones led by males. A Pew Research poll found that the public agrees—women make fairer, more compassionate, and more trustworthy leaders than men do.

13. Women are better drivers than men.

Studies show that male drivers are 77% more likely to die in car accidents than female drivers. A study of car accidents in New York City found that over five years, a staggering 80% of crashes where pedestrians were killed or seriously injured involved male drivers. This is why women pay lower car-insurance premiums.

14. Women make better cops than men.

Authorities in Peru and Russia have begun switching over to female-dominated police forces because women’s superior psychological, communication, and negotiation skills make them better than men at handling volatile situations.

15. Women make better students than men.

A joint study by the University of Georgia and Columbia University found that female students are better at acquiring and retaining knowledge than men. And Department of Education stats show that men are more likely than women to drop out of college.

16. Women are better with money than men.

A study conducted by Barclays Wealth and Ledbury Research found that female investors experience a higher return on their investment than men do mainly because testosterone impels men to take unnecessary risks. A 2005 study by Merrill Lynch said that women also sell off their bad investments more quickly than men do.

17. Women live longer than men.

What greater evidence do you need of female biological superiority than the fact that women live about five years longer than men do? The New England Centenary study found that of all the people in the world who are older than 100, 85% of them are women. As the old joke goes, why do men die younger than women? Because they want to. Who wants to sit around all day being constantly reminded that you’re inferior? TC mark

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10 Simple Things I Do Every Day To Have An Overall Happier Life

Posted: 29 Jul 2015 08:50 AM PDT

Joao Silas
Joao Silas

1. I give myself something to look forward to. Even something as simple as taking an hour to read a book I’m really into or cooking a meal from a recipe I’m excited to experiment with, I find one thing in my day that feels like I’m indulging or just something I can get excited about to make me feel better.

2. I learn something new everyday. Yesterday it was taking a 10 minute French lesson on Duolingo, today it’s learning about the world’s first rock star. I spend all day at my job reading and researching and learning new information but when I take time to learn something for myself I feel more productive and satisfied.

3. I do one nice thing for someone else. Any time I’ve helped someone else out or volunteered my time it always makes me feel happier so I decided to start doing this every day in small ways. Something as small as thinking of someone when you’re at the store and picking up one of their favorite treats or just texting a friend “good luck” when you know she has a job interview that day can increase the love and positivity in your life.

4. I write down what I’m grateful for. Awhile ago I watched this TED talk about how journaling and writing down your gratitudes has been proven to increase the happiness in people’s lives. When I started doing this myself and writing about what I was grateful for, even seemingly small things like being able to pay my bills or having a fully stocked fridge, I began seeking out the positive aspects in everyday life.

5. I call my mom. My mom and I haven’t always had the strongest relationship over the years but now that we do I make an effort to appreciate the bond we have. When I call her in the morning before work or later in the afternoon it gives me time to take a break from my daily routine and hear about how her day is going or anything new happening in the family.

6. I disengage from all forms of technology. I take at least an hour of my day and I go on a walk through downtown, a hike in the woods, or I head out to a lake to just get away from it all and disconnect from the internet and my cell phone. Taking a break re-energizes me and lets me process everything happening in my day.

7. I do some form of exercise. Whether it’s taking a walk, doing yoga in my living room, or joining a friend at the gym I take at least half an hour to do something physically active either before or after work. This is something I only started doing recently and although it was hard to make a habit of it at first I’ve already seen tons of benefits from getting better sleep to feeling less tired throughout the day.

8. I wake up early. This is difficult for me sometimes because I love being a night owl but I also love the way I feel when I wake up early. I started noticing months ago I was more productive and content with my day when I gave myself an extra couple of hours to do things before work. Almost none of my friends are on this same schedule so it can be difficult to maintain all the time but generally, waking up before 9 a.m. has proved to be the way I can be most successful in my life.

9. I meditate. Meditating is a great way to increase focus and clear your mind and it’s been one of the key things that’s helped me with my anxiety and overall feeling of fulfillment in life.

10. I look at pictures of puppies. This probably sounds silly but seriously, spend a few moments looking at pictures of something you find adorable and I guarantee you’ll feel happier. Everyday we learn about something tragic or we hear news that’s almost always dismal, so after I catch up on the news I go out of my way to read about the good things happening in the world. Sometimes it’s a cute story about something good someone has done or it’s a video of Golden Retriever puppies. Either way, you can’t help but feel better when you see something positive. TC mark

10 Things Every Internetty Couple Can Relate To

Posted: 28 Jul 2015 12:42 PM PDT

1. Your chat window is devoid of words.


Stickers. It’s all about the stickers and emojis. Typing is so 2013. 😚

2. Whenever you get your food, you wait for your partner.

…to take a picture of their food.

3. When you’re at your favorite froyo shop…

Your partner says, “I got this one,” and you can’t help but feel true love.

4. You both can’t decide on Seamless orders.

This leads to a passive-aggressive showdown about who wants what. Thai? Maybe. Sushi? Only if you want it. Pizza? I don’t know.

5. You can’t help brainstorming quirky baby names.

Xander? River? Totally.

6. You hate-follow the same people.

You two throw shade around, especially over social media. You both hate-follow the same people and trash talk them. Twitter drama? Oh yes, you two will be all over it.

7. You met on the internet!

You met each other on Twitter. You were the Twitter couple before Zach Craig and Jordan Daigle.

8. You can’t decide on Netflix or going out.

You two debate this on the daily. Netflix or the bar? Honestly, though, whatever you decide to choose, it will always be an Instagram moment because you two will always look cute together.

9. You ask for input on photos.

You show your partner your photo and get their input. Only then will you edit it on VSCO and upload to Instagram.

10. You two Facebook-stalk photos of yours friends.

You two go through your friends’ photos and talk about who will have a cute baby and who will have an ugly baby. No shame. Just don’t go around telling people you do this. TC mark