Thought Catalog

Thought Catalog


Watch These Men Get Defensive When They See Their Girlfriends Getting Catcalled

Posted: 28 Jul 2015 01:36 PM PDT

Screen Shot 2015-07-28 at 4.23.21 PM
Youtube / Cosmopolitan.com

It can be hard for men, like myself, to understand what it is like getting catcalled. Sometimes guys call fall into the trap of being like, “isn’t it a compliment to be catcalled??” And for most of the girls I know, the answer is a resounding NO. Why? Because it is creepy, unwanted, and harassing.

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Youtube / Cosmopolitan.com

These boyfriends got the opportunity to see what their significant others have to deal with every time they take a walk down the streets.

The boyfriends get indignant and outraged when they see what the people they care about have to go through. And it all completely “clicks” why this behavior is totally uncalled for and NOT complimentary for almost all people.

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Youtube / Cosmopolitan.com

Watch the full video produced by COSMOPOLITAN below:

Hopefully awareness like this helps us all treat each other with more respect! TC mark

ENFP Answers: How Do I Handle Heartbreak?

Posted: 28 Jul 2015 01:40 PM PDT

Guilherme Yagui
Guilherme Yagui

Anonymous asks:

Can you tell me how you get over heartbreak as an ENFP? Last winter my boyfriend of three years left me for someone else and I don't know how to deal with the pain. I feel like I've tried everything and that I should be over it by now but instead I'm just more lost than ever. As an ENFP, how do I get over this breakup and move on with my life?

ENFP Answers:

Oh anonymous. First of all, I have never wished quite so badly that I could reach through my computer and hug somebody.

There's no two ways about it – heartbreak is horrible. It's treacherous. It's a vast, barren wasteland filled with landmines and booby traps. It's the bottom of a well with no ladder. It's the nightmare we cannot escape. And what I want you to know, first of all, dear Anonymous, is that you are not stuck there due to any inherent weakness of your personality or of yourself. We've all walked through that godforsaken wasteland. We all know there's no easy way out.

As an ENFP, I have tried everything under the sun to get over past relationships. I've tried wallowing. I've tried distracting myself. I've tried throwing myself into new projects and goals and I've tried throwing myself into the past to try to figure out what went wrong. I've tried winning the breakup and I've tried losing it. I've tried mourning somebody like they're dead and I've tried winning them back like there were no other option in the world than for us to be together. If there's a single method under the sun for getting over heartbreak, you can bet your ass I've tried it. Because that's what we do as ENFPs – we attack from all angles. We think outside the box. We try everything we can possibly think of to try and if we still can't find the answer, we invent new problems for ourselves, simply to prove that we can solve them.

I can't tell you exactly what is going to work for you in this case, anonymous. All I can tell you today is how to not plant those landmines ahead of yourself. Because there is no shortcut out of your wasteland. But there are a thousand different ways to move through it.

When it comes to ENFPs and heartbreak, there are two specific patterns I've identified – and perhaps these correspond to enneagram type. One tendency is to throw oneself into wallowing. We can get absolutely lost in the pain of it all, in the feeling of it, in the giving ourselves permission to be at its mercy and letting it run its course. This is healthy in moderation. It is not healthy when it takes over our lives.

The other strategy I've observed (and this is one I'm personally inclined to) is to entirely deny our heartbreak space. To run from it, pulverize it, to look at it like a challenge that must be risen to or a goal that can be defeated. We don't want to play the victim so we play the champion instead. And as a result, we never give our feelings the chance to work that person out of our system. He or she remains a tight knot of anxiety inside of our chest that never truly unravels. No matter how many other demons we defeat, that one person eternally remains our kryptonite. Because we never learned to fight them, we only learned to run.

There is one thing that both these coping mechanisms have in common and it is their tendency to take over our lives. We either fall into the pit of our emotions or we flee from the scene of the crime. In either case, we lose focus. We get sidetracked. We let our lives and our defences fall to pieces in our attempt to surmount our heartache. As a result, we find ourselves more lost six months after a breakup than we were the day it happened. And that is the phenomenon we have to learn to combat. It is something that only the most neglected part of our personality can help us fix.

The ironic part about being an open-ended, possibilities-oriented ENFP is that we actually function best within a framework of external structure. And for many of us, relationships provide the exact sort of structure we need – particularly when we partner with judging types. So when a relationship ends, we lose not just a person we love but a significant source of care and structure. And this is offsetting in ways that we neglect to acknowledge. We like to think we're above the need for routine, but we're not. And we have to accept that about ourselves when we're at our weakest.

When going through a breakup, ENFPs need to consciously and purposefully create structure in their external environment. This means taking particular care to eat properly, exercise regularly, get eight hours of sleep per night and stay focused on goals and projects. We need to be our own parents when we're struggling, even though there's nothing fun about it. If introverted feeling takes the wheel during heartbreak, it'll crash the whole car. So we have to make it take the backseat. For once, introverted sensing and extroverted thinking get to take a turn at the wheel.

When we take care of ourselves throughout a breakup, it gives us a safe space in which we can process our emotions. Rather than going on a self-destructive rampage (which extroverted intuition and introverted feeling are inclined to pair up and do), you can let yourself grieve naturally – and you should.

Let yourself feel it. Let yourself take the odd night to crawl right inside of your heart and be lonely and terrified and lost. Let yourself think that you're never going to make it without them. Let yourself listen to all your old songs and relive your old memories, and accept the stark truth that it's over and you're not getting them back. Let yourself feel all of that. But don't feel like it's never going to end. Don't feel like the hole you've crawled into has no exit route. It does, because you have created one. You've provided your own sense of stability and you've mapped your own way out of the wasteland. You don't have to feel like nobody is coming to save you, because somebody is and it's you.

When heartbreak has left you at your worst, dear anonymous, be the very best version of your very worst self. Let your introverted sensing and your extroverted thinking work with your extroverted intuition to coax your introverted feeling back to health. Set goals. Move toward them slowly, dispassionately and carefully. Let yourself be unimpressive, but okay. Trust that you will come back to yourself in time.

Because that is the thing, dear Anonymous – you always come back. The positivity, the optimism, the enthusiasm and the joy that you are so keen on sharing with the world is still in you. It's just waiting for the rest to drain out – all the pain and disappointment and sadness that are plaguing you now. The 'you' that you know and love is still waiting for you on the other end of all of this. He or she is re-establishing him or herself within you. You are carving out a new space for yourself. And that’s okay.

For now, just be patient with yourself. Be diligent. Be good to yourself and remember – that you have to keep walking through this wasteland. Self-destructing won’t bring you to the exit. Wallowing won’t bring you to the exit. And hating yourself for not having found your way out yet definitely won’t bring you to the exit. So forget all that, dear Anonymous ENFP, and for now, simply walk. Walk slowly. Walk confidently. Walk defeatedly. But walk.

You’re so much closer to that exit than you think. TC mark

When You Give Away Your Clothes

Posted: 29 Jul 2015 11:08 AM PDT

Franca Gimenez
Franca Gimenez

You've always been one of those people with a bursting closet. There's never been enough space to contain the things you've accumulated over the years so sweaters end up in Tupperware containers and you always have one suitcase that's never technically unpacked. You joke that your heaping laundry basket is just more storage and never seem to have enough hangers so things end up in places clothing was never intended to be.

Then you'll move, make a change to your hair color, sever ties with a boy, do something that just makes you feel like purging. If you're lucky enough and the tags haven't even come off you can return it with a shrug and an excuse of buyers remorse. But more likely than not you'll haul bags to consignment, GoodWill, text friends, "would you wear this" really only to make room for more clothes to represent a new time in your life. It may seem like you're being practical and doing "what needs to be done", but there almost always have been and probably always will be ulterior motives.

When you give away your clothes you're saying, "this no longer represents who I am". The numerous t-shirts with cartoons on the front aren't something that should be worn by an adult with a downtown apartment, so you stuff them into a bag for the thrift store and leave them behind. The cashmere cardigan makes you feel twenty years older and resent the fact that you had to grow up in the first place, so you cringe while taking $30 dollars for it and go to happy hour crossing your fingers that you get carded. You say you're cleaning house, downsizing, but you're getting rid of the things that don't fit the person who you want to be to make space for the jeans that make you feel amazing.

When you give away your clothes you're saying, "these are memories I don't want anymore." You only wore that oversized sweater on the night you had a terrible one-night-stand where you cried after he finally passed out, so you give it to a friend who would never make that mistake. The cutouts on a dress show a tattoo you never should have gotten in the first place, so you give it to a girl who wants everyone to see the poetry etched along her side. The zipper on another was only ever undone by someone who broke your heart, so you give it to someone who seems to be unbreakable. You pass along things that feel tainted to you to give someone else the opportunity to breathe new life into them.

When you give away your clothes sometimes it can just be that, but most of the time it's giving away a part of yourself. You're saying:

"Here is this nostalgia. And I don't want it anymore."

You don't want to struggle to zip something from a time when your thighs were smaller, a time when you worried more about curfew than calories. You don't want to see the stain from when a boy you used to kiss sloshed Kahlua all over your shoulder and you laughed until the sun came up. You don't want to have to say, "It's the bridesmaids dress from my ex-best friend's wedding." You're tired of explaining, tired of frowning when you pass them in the closet every morning so you give them away.

You out with the old for the in with the new and you promise yourself that this year will be better, this time will be better, you will be better. And you scour the racks for new things to make new memories with, for new things to eventually either keep forever or eventually say goodbye to when they become to painful to wear. TC mark

911 Is A Joke: 10 Of The Rudest Police Dispatchers In History

Posted: 29 Jul 2015 01:51 PM PDT

Shutterstock / David P. Smith
Shutterstock / David P. Smith

1. “Deal with it yourself.”

This story out of Albuquerque happened late in June and is still outraging the living fuck out of people.

After 17-year-old Jaydon Chavez-Silver got shot at a party, his friend Esperanza Quintero desperately called 911. She told him she was performing CPR on him “as we speak” and that he was “barely” breathing. For unknown reasons, dispatcher Matthew Sanchez asks yet again whether Chavez-Silver was breathing:

SANCHEZ: Is he breathing?
QUINTERO: He's barely breathing. How many times do I have to fucking tell you?
SANCHEZ: OK, you know what ma'am? You could deal with it yourself. I'm not gonna deal with this, OK?
QUINTERO: No, my friend is dying—

Sanchez cut her off by hanging up. Chavez-Silver died within minutes. After audio of the 911 call was released, Sanchez resigned.

2. “Quit crying.”

In 2014 when a sobbing 20-year-old rape victim in Columbus, OH dialed 911 to report her assault, the dispatcher asked her to describe the perpetrator:

VICTIM: Small male white boy, with a white shirt. [crying] Immediately arrest him. I’m nervous.
DISPATCHER: Ma’am, you’re gonna have to quit crying so I can get the information from you.

Truly the height of rudeness, n’est-ce pas?

3. “Stop whining.”

Earlier this year when a 13-year-old Maryland girl called 911 to report that her father had been struck in a hit-and-run and was dying on the ground, the dispatcher told her to “stop whining.” The girl’s father died and the dispatcher has ceased dispatching.

4. “If he shoots you, ma’am, call back and give us that information.”

Tonya Harvey of Memphis rang 911 one morning in May last year to report that a truck had run her off the highway. She called back three minutes later wondering why the police had yet to show up:

HARVEY: He drove me off the road. He pulled on my door trying to get in my car and beat on my window. I am afraid. Where are the police?
DISPATCHER: You called three minutes ago.
HARVEY: I understand that, but what if he shoots me? Then what?
DISPATCHER: If he shoots you, ma'am, call back in and give us that information.

Harvey was not shot, so we’ll never know if she’d have been able to muster the strength to call 911 again while bleeding to death.

5. “I really just don’t give a shit what happens to you.”


In 2008 when Nashville resident Sheila Jones frantically dialed 911 to report that her ex-boyfriend had a knife and was breaking in her house, no one answered at first. She called again, only to be informed that they were busy answering a more urgent call when she called the first time. Two full goddamned hours later, she called back to report she was still in danger. The male operator told her, “I really just don’t give a shit what happens to you.” He was fired.

6. Operator falls asleep during call about possible burglary.


This happened in the wonderfully torn-up town of Memphis, TN in 2009. When a woman dialed 911 to report that someone was tapping on her window, the male operator fell asleep—and then began snoring. We expect this sort of callousness out in the corporate world, but this is clearly unacceptable and problematic behavior for any public-sector employee.

7. Operator giggles after mental patient calls to report stabbing.

In 2013 a Brooklyn mental patient stabbed his girlfriend to death. Before he called 911, his therapist had already called police to report the murder. In a recording made shortly after the call, the female dispatcher is heard laughing about the fact that the man wasn’t sure whether it had actually happened or if it was a hallucination. She also passed along faulty information to the police that led to the victim’s corpse rotting in a basement for several days.

8. Tucson dispatcher laughs when man calls to report his girlfriend is on fire.

After Tucson resident Lalo Delgado‘s girlfriend caught on fire as a result of his car bursting into flames, he made a desperate call to 911. Apparently this greatly amused the female dispatcher and her associates.

DISPATCHER: Is your girlfriend still on fire?
DELGADO: No.
DISPATCHER: (laughter in background)
 OK. (chuckles) Umm…is your vehicle still on fire?
DELGADO: It’s hilarious huh?
DISPATCHER: Sir, is your vehicle still on fire?
DELGADO: I just heard you smirk… (inaudible)
DISPATCHER: OK, sir it wasn’t regarding that, OK.
DELGADO: Yeah, I just heard you laugh.

Help arrived soon, but Delgado later said he found the dispatcher’s giggling to be “very disturbing.”

9. “This is a prank. I’m terminating the call.”

Back in February, Detroit resident Jerome Fowlkes had his son call 911 after his wife suddenly ceased breathing. He grabbed the phone from his son’s hand in the middle of the call and asked how to perform CPR. He says at that point, the operator said, “This is a prank. I’m terminating the call,” and then hung up. Fowlkes drove his wife to the hospital in time to save her life.

10. Denver dispatcher tells caller to return to the scene of a road-rage incident, where he promptly gets murdered.

This story isn’t “rude” so much as it is…negligently homicidal? Early one morning in April 2012 when Sudanese refugee Jimma Reat called 911 to report a road-rage incident, the dispatcher told him to return to the scene. He said he feared returning to the scene, but the dispatcher was insistent. So Reat returned to the scene—where he was shot to death. TC mark

9 Things All Couples Have To Remember Once They Fall In Love

Posted: 29 Jul 2015 11:08 AM PDT

Christian Gonzalez
Christian Gonzalez

1. Keep falling for each other. Act like you're at the top of Rick's Cafe on a cliff in Jamaica, nervously peeping over the edge, and jump off. Fall deeper and harder for each other every day. Live the best free-falling life with the person you love, until it ends—when that chapter closes, or somebody dies.

2. Make real plans with your partner, not the things society tells you to plan (e.g. your wedding, pregnancy, and home ownership). Screw society’s idea of what your life should look like, and those banks that approve high interest rate mortgages. Instead, plan a day trip or a road trip or decide to buck convention altogether. Focus on what you actually want as a couple, not what you’re supposed to want.

3. Eat healthy and take care of your bodies so you can live 50 more years with the person you love.

4. Kiss each other daily. If you kiss each other daily for the next 50 years, that’s 18,250 smooches to look forward to. (Finally, we can apply math to a real life situation!)

5. Schedule date nights and get drunk and silly together. Quality time leads to meaningful conversations. Ask each other about your days, jobs, passions, etc. Check in with each other. Never assume you already know everything, no matter how much time passes.

6. Don’t forget to be spontaneous. After dinner, take her out on the town and dance the night away. Stay out too late, until the DJ starts playing Celine Dion (read: until the party is over and it's time to go home).

7. Celebrate special occasions. That doesn’t have to mean a fancy dinner or spending excessive amounts of money. It means being thoughtful about commemorating birthdays and anniversaries and honoring traditions. Go to a lookout point in the hills overlooking the city, or play some romantic music and dance in each other’s arms at home.

8. Stay up late just to talk. Learn each other’s insecurities. Talk about them directly. Make each other feel beautiful and love, in spite of and because of your flaws.

9. Make love regularly, even when you’re both exhausted. Sex will keep you close. Look into each other’s eyes after and feel each other’s heartbeats. Know each other. Recognize that you need each other—that you take each other’s breath away, quite literally. Still. Even after all those years. TC mark

‘Go Straight To The Seat Of Intelligence–Your Own, The World’s, Your Neighbors’

Posted: 30 Jul 2015 08:02 AM PDT

Daria Nepriakhina
Daria Nepriakhina

At 19 years old, a young French nobleman and army officer arrived in America and was given a military commission. As Marquis de Lafayette reviewed the troops for the first time–hardly a pretty sight–an embarrassed George Washington made some remark of deference to this new officer he needed to impress. Lafayette's response: "It's not to teach but to learn that I come hither."

He'd given up his life and traveled across the ocean. Why? To learn. To go right to the heart of something new and exciting and important. And to absorb it right from the source.

But that's not what most people do. Especially young people. Especially privileged young people. Because they think they already know.

"Every person has two educations," Edward Gibbon, once said, "one which he receives from others and one, more important, which he gives himself."

It's hard to disagree with that. Except the trick is that the latter is often how you get the former.

After all, no one hands you a mentorship. People talk a lot about the importance of mentors but I think they mostly miss the point. Because every situation requires something different. Every person and situation has its own needs.

So instead of 'find yourself a mentor,' I think there is a far better dictum to follow. It comes from a relatively unknown line from Marcus Aurelius. But it's simple and clear:

"Go straight to the seat of intelligence–your own, the world's, your neighbors."

That is, generally, when you're looking to learn about something get as close the source as humanly possible. Sometimes that will be reading the primary texts. Sometimes that will be connecting with smart people. Sometimes that will be looking inward or immediately around you.

When I think about my own education and any success I might have, it's because I followed that line of thinking, knowingly and unknowingly.

I remember thinking about that line very specifically when I had the option to drop out of college. Where would I be closer, sitting in the classroom or showing up to work each day? So I took that terrifying step towards the seat of intelligence–with the hope that maybe something would rub off on me in the process.

It's how I've tried to gauge many of my decisions. Should I work with this client or that one? Instead of thinking about who pays more, I try to consider which one I'll learn more from. Should I live in this city or that one? Which one is doing more interesting things that I'll be exposed to and filled up by?

But that's the problem: people think they're learning but they are so far away from the epicenter. They're stuck in some school. They in some backwards job where people do things 'the way they've always been done.' They're surrounded by bad influences.

In my case, I was lucky to have three great mentors who I saw in person fairly regularly. But that was just a part of it. There are plenty of ways to get that connection.

When Machiavelli was exiled from Florence, he ended stuck in some podunk town filled with idiots. He hated it and the people he was forced to be around. But every night he would change out of his clothes and into a robe and sit down with his favorite authors: Cicero, Livy, Xenophon, Tacitus. These were his connections to the world he was closed off from. They inspired his insight and analysis which shook the world and influences it to this day.

For Malcolm X, he started his education in prison by reading the dictionary–copying down one word at a time. It was as close as he could get to the source behind bars. But as he slowly carved himself out some freedom, he began writing letters to people he looked up to. He debated other inmates.

I've mentioned this earlier, but the single book that changed my life came because I had a few seconds one on one with Dr. Drew and I asked him: What should I read? What books would you recommend? If I'd had nothing else–and no one else had helped me other than him, ever–that would have been enough to put my on a path that got me somewhere close to where I wanted to go.

If I'd never met him, I would have emailed other people and asked them the same question. I would have found my way to that recommendation by hook or by crook.

So look, you're hardly SOL here–even if you live in the middle of nowhere, even if you're a nobody, even if you're starting over from scratch.

It's a matter of getting as close to the seat of intelligence as possible in your particular case.

Maybe it's books. Maybe it's online courses. Maybe it's documentaries. Maybe it's podcasts. Maybe it's posting in forums. Maybe it's going to conferences. Maybe it's producing your own content. Maybe it's finding smart friends and following their example. Maybe it's all of it combined.

In any case, whatever you're hoping to learn or do, it's about drinking directly from the firehose.

In this way, you're giving yourself an education and receiving one from others.

And loving every second of it. TC mark

This Is What It’s Like Working At A Fast Food Joint And Going To An Ivy League University

Posted: 29 Jul 2015 11:56 AM PDT

Producer's note: Someone on Quora asked: What’s it like being at an elite school like Yale and working a fast food job? Here is one of the best answers that's been pulled from the thread.

beetlejuice

I worked as a server at Waffle House the summer after high school graduation, about six months after I had gotten accepted early action to Harvard.

My parents wanted me to get a job during the summer instead of lounging around the house — which I thought was fair. Considering (what I believed to be) my perceived qualifications, I didn't think it would be a difficult task.

In reality, I had no previous work experience with anything besides private tutoring, I was looking for a summer job in July, when most of my peers had already started working, and I needed to begin working immediately at a time when no positions were immediately open.

After a week of fruitless and desperate job-hunting,Waffle House was the only company that took a chance on me.

For that, I was grateful.

beetlejuice

Photo provided by author
Photo provided by author

Waitressing at Waffle House paid an abysmally low $2.92/hour.

A few precious dollars were also taken off from my paycheck to account for meals, whether I ate them or not. On a good day I would make minimum wage from tips, which largely depended on 1. the volume and generosity of the customers, 2. the shifts you were assigned on certain days of the week, and 3. the quality of your service.

What I found was that succeeding at Waffle House required a different skillset than the academic/extracurricular achievement dichotomy that I had cultivated in high school~the one required of elite college admissions.

This was a different kind of balancing act, with different rules. Instead of completing assignments, taking the SAT, and juggling multiple extracurricular commitments, I was expected to complete menial chores, take meal orders from customers, and juggle the demands of my co-workers and my job.

The memorization required of servers was akin to that of an AP Biology midterm. We were given a menu packed full of names of dishes and prices and tested on our knowledge every day. There was also a certain way we were supposed to “call in” orders and mark the plates, a standard jargon/routine that was custom-made for the business.

Other than rote memorization, though, there wasn't much in the way of intellectual stimulation. Things like washing, drying, and stacking dishes were thoughtless but still required a warm body. Sometimes I scrubbed plates, sometimes I scrubbed toilets.

Manual labor wasn’t my forte, but at least I was enthusiastic.

beetlejuice

While I was working at Waffle House, I was treated like an untrained, entry-level employee—quite a stretch from my previous identity of model student/distinguished young woman/future leader of the world.

The overall experience wasn’t unpleasant, but I often found myself exhausted from my shifts, underwhelmed by the tedium (and the people), and listless, like once-bubbly champagne that was left out for too long on the counter. In spite of everything, I put on a bright smile. Welcome to Waffle House! What can I get you today?

Customers filed in and out on a daily basis, and I had lots of interaction with your average Joe. At times the comments from customers were mildly degrading (“It’s a good thing you have your looks going for you,” etc.), but I don’t think they were ill-intentioned.

One day a friend of mine from state academic bowl did a double take when he came in to eat and saw me working behind the counter. "I thought there was a pregnancy sob-story attached," he told me. (I was mortified.)

Another day a group of my friends came to visit me just to make fun of me. After their meal, they left over $60 in tips as a graduation present, the equivalent of 20 hours of salaried work. I was touched beyond words.

My last day on the job was the day before I was set to fly off to Boston. I couldn’t wait for my new life beyond an ivy-covered gate, and I couldn’t wait to escape from my dead-end job. But it almost seemed like a cruel joke to tell my boss that I was quitting to go to Harvard.

Ultimately, the experience for me was more of an exercise in empathy than anything else. I knew I had a future ahead of me, and I knew how much of a privilege that was. I could see how Waffle House could constitute existence for some people, working day in and day out for pennies on the dollar, refilling coffees and scrubbing plates with one eye on the clock.

It wasn’t the right place for me, but I’m grateful for how much I’ve learned. TC mark

This answer originally appeared at Quora: The best answer to any question. Ask a question, get a great answer. Learn from experts and get insider knowledge.

11 Real-Life Phobias That Millennials Need To Fear

Posted: 30 Jul 2015 08:58 AM PDT

Flickr Camila Manriquez
Flickr Camila Manriquez

The millennial generation is often mocked, scorned, and belittled by the world's millions of milleniophobes, yet life presents unique challenges for these groundbreaking and fearless youths who only seek to make the world a better place. Because of their special place in time and history, they are disproportionately vulnerable to certain fears that may not afflict others. Here is a list of those fears.

1. Nomophobia—the fear of losing cell-phone coverage.

For a generation that spends far more time texting one another than they do making out with one another, this is a fundamental and primal fear. Not knowing how many people liked your most recent Instagram selfie can induce a morbid dread that passeth all understanding.

2. Dextrophobia—the fear of anything to the right of you.

Although this term technically refers to things that are placed to the right of your body, it can also be used metaphorically to describe an irrational fear and dread of anyone who is not a dedicated and fanatical leftist. Since most millennials are overwhelmingly liberal, this is a very common fear that may only be assuaged by finally acknowledging that people who disagree with you are human, too.

3. Allodoxaphobia—the fear of other people's opinions.

This refers not only to fear of what others think about the allodoxaphobe as a person, but also the irrational and borderline insane fear of any opinions that differ from one's own. Thus the insane and irrational compulsion to misrepresent all disagreement as "hatred" or, ironically, some form of "phobia."

4. Heresyphobia—the fear of any challenges to one's ideology.

Social media in particular has enabled a new form of social totalitarianism wherein any heretic—i.e., anyone who does not fall in completely lockstep with one's personal ideology—not only isn't tolerated, they are subject to witch hunting and doxing and endless attempts to render them unemployed and personally destroyed. What's supremely ironic is that this is typically done in the name of "tolerance."

5. Sophophobia—the fear of learning new things.

As Camille Paglia lamented a full generation ago, the problem with today's youth is that they only read books that they already agree with. Nowadays this is truer than ever—millennials are outright terrified of confronting any information or opinion that may serve to rattle or undermine their most sacred beliefs. This is a crippling disease with no known cure.

6. Pogonophobia—the fear of beards.

Most millennials have conquered this fear, as demonstrated by the high quotient of male millennials with facial hair. But for the pogonophobic millennial, any visit to a club, coffeeshop, or art gallery can be an experiment in terror.

7. Hoplophobia—the fear of firearms.

It is perfectly rational to fear a gun that's pointed at you, yet it's entirely irrational to fear the existence of firearms in all cases except when the government owns them. You never hear anyone who's in favor of "gun control" arguing that the government—which owns enough firearms and bombs to murder every American a thousand times over—should also be disarmed. If you're going to fear firearms, at least be consistent and fear all of them.

8. Hesperophobia—the fear of Western civilization.

Although millennials have been exposed to endless propaganda counseling them to beware of things such as "xenophobia" and "Islamophobia," they exhibit an irrational fear that Western civilization is inherently evil. And they express such fears while almost exclusively using technology that was developed and perfected in the West.

9. Oikophobia—the fear of one's own surroundings and culture.

This is the inverse of xenophobia. It involves a fanatical and borderline religious paranoia that one's own culture is uniquely horrible. Oikophobes rarely put this fear into action by actually pulling up their tent stakes and moving to places with cultures that are completely alien to where they grew up. This suggests that they actually prefer their own culture simply because it allows them to be bitchy brats, whereas other cultures might not be nearly so tolerant of such misbehavior.

10. Misophobia—the fear of hatred.

As with love, hatred is a natural human emotion. As with love, it is also misused, abused, and misunderstood. Everyone hates something to some degree. What's important is to understand why hatred exists, because if you oversimplify and misrepresent it, you'll never get to its root causes. And it's especially important to not openly hate the haters, because that's not only hypocritical, it's hateful.

11. Androphobia—the fear of men.

It is a modern tragedy that the rise of equal rights for women has coincided with a full-blown attack on all things male and masculine. You can read any pro-girl website on Earth and see demeaning language directed at men that would be considered objectively "sexist" and "gynophobic" if aimed at women. It doesn't have to be that way—in other words, it’d be nice if everyone viewed one another as humans first before delving into divisive issues such as race, gender, and sexuality—but apparently everyone needs a scapegoat. Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose. TC mark

10 Reasons Science Is As Dogmatic As Religion (As Told By A Banned TED Talk)

Posted: 30 Jul 2015 05:36 AM PDT

Science is just as much as institution as religion is.

Most "scientific study" operates under the premise that science already understands the nature of reality in principle, the rest serves only to inform us of the details. Science is not the method of trial and error inquiry as we've come to believe. Even the process of having an idea researched is lacquered in nuance and prejudice.

To have a study be taken seriously, it must be published in a peer-reviewed journal. In order to publish a quality peer-review journal, you must either work at or be supported by an institution that has a certain level of prestige. In order to complete the study in an effective way, you must have funding. In order to have funding, you must be doing work that is seen as valuable to the current paradigm. Large institutions wouldn't, and don't, fund work in which the outcome may jeopardize an entire field of study that they've invested in.

Beyond this, science is a dogma in that it assumes some ideas to be infallibly true, when in reality, research has already proven most of them questionable if not entirely wrong. This is significant because the scientific belief system influences the interpretation of data, it impacts what studies are done and why, and it determines what is taught in schools.

This whole thing is stirring up quite a bit of controversy, so to gather your take on it, here are Rupert Sheldrake's 10 dogmas of science from the now-banned TED talk – any supporting information listed comes from his book, which you should look into if it so interests you, as these summaries are brief, if not limiting examples of his full argument(s).

1. The idea that nature is a machine, and therefore so are plants, animals, and people. 

That brains are genetically programmed computers, the results of which we must just live out. Essentially, this belief is just a "hangover" from a older worldview. Before the big bang theory, the prevailing belief was that everything was designed by an external mind, that that we all ultimately serve the purpose of the "machine-maker."

2. Matter is unconscious. 

This is the idea that stars, plants, animals, water, are material things, solely physical in their existence, and by accepting that every other aspect of the natural world is unconscious, it would assume that we are also unconscious as well. This would be fine, except for the fact that brain activity is not the same as thinking, feeling or seeing, no one knows how molecules acquire the qualities of the mind, it's impossible to construct a theory of the mind based on material objects that somehow became conscious, and so on.

3. The laws of nature are fixed. 

This is the idea that the natural laws became fixed at the moment of the Big Bang, and will continue to be constant until the end of time. It's funny in and of itself, the idea that a mass of matter spontaneously exploded to create the known universe, but we believe that everything from there-on-out will be fixed and certain.

4. The total amount of matter and energy is the same all the time.

Matter, as it turns out, is actually highly packed energy, transformable into other forms of energy. Modern physics suggests that the universe appears to not be a collection of things, but an interacting set of events. But the "Big Bang," if anything, revealed a universe that is extremely evolutionary (constantly growing, cooling, expanding) and doing so indefinitely with dark matter, the nature of which we don't actually understand yet.

5. Nature is purposeless.

That there is no design in nature, and the evolutionary process is merely a mechanical function – there is no higher purpose. What's speculated is the idea that because we can't identify what the ultimate purpose is, we assume that there is none (Think: the perimeter of ignorance.) Every function in science serves a purpose, it's logical to assume that all of the micro-purposes serve a larger one – even if we can't scientifically identify it or philosophically agree on it.

6. The traits of a species are composed of a physical material that reside in the genes. 

But several forms of material inheritance are non-genetic. Cells inherit patterns of cell structures like mitochondria right from their mother cells, not through genes – this is called "cytoplasmic inheritance." Animals and plants are also influenced by characteristics acquired by their ancestors – an inheritance of acquired characteristics can take place epigenetically (caused by outside influences) as opposed to genetically, through chemical changes that do not actually affect the underlying genetic code.

7. Memories are stored inside of the brain as material traces.

This is the idea that memories are stored somewhere in the proteins and nerve endings are the memories of the mind. But attempts to locate memory traces have been unsuccessful despite more than a century of research. In the 1890s, Ivan Pavolv studied the way animals learn to associate a stimulus with an action or reward. Scientists assumed that this reflex functions as though nerves are wires and the brain is a telephone exchange. But Pavlov also discovered that the conditioning could survive massive surgical damage to the brain. (The same has been true of human brain trauma patients, etc.)

8. The mind is inside the head.

This is the idea that the mind is physically bound to the head and brain in some way. Francis Crick called this the Astonishing Hypothesis: "You," your joys and your sorrows, your memories and your ambitions, your sense of personal identity and free will, are in fact no more than the behavior of a vast assembly of nerve cells and their associated molecules … This hypothesis is so alien to the ideas of most people alive today that it can truly be called astonishing."But there is ultimately no evidence for this. No one has ever seen a thought or image inside their own brain or someone else's. When we look around us, the images of the things we see are outside us, not in our heads. Our experience of our bodies are in our bodies. Direct experience is not irrelevant to the nature of consciousness: it is consciousness.

9. Psychic phenomena, like telepathy, is impossible.

This is the idea that thoughts have no effect on the outside world because the mind exists within the head solely, despite the fact that most people have had seemingly telepathic or precognitive experiences (as do animals).One example: In 2009, British biologist Rachel Grant was carrying out a study of mating behavior in toads for her PHD project, in Italy. Soon after the beginning of the mating season (late March) the number of male toads in the breeding group suddenly plummeted. Grant and her colleague Tim Halliday observed this "highly unusual" behavior. On April 6, Italy was struck by a 6.4-magnitude earthquake, followed by a series of aftershocks. The toads resumed their breeding ten days later, once the aftershocks had fully subsided.

10. Mechanistic medicine is the only kind that works – It is merely chance or the placebo effect if a natural remedy or other healing practice seems to affect physical healing. 

There is no argument that modern medicine isn't amazingly successful, that it's achievements wouldn't be perceived as sheer miracles just a hundred years ago. Yet, it has limitations, which are becoming apparent. Basically: research and development is slowing, because the mechanistic approach is as its best when dealing with mechanical aspects of the body, but it ignores that all organisms are physico-chemical machines. With a rise in more "natural," holistic alternatives on the brink, there's a huge political and economic consequence to the pharmaceutical industry being overturned for less expensive, more effective remedies. TC mark

Black People Can’t End Racism – White People Can

Posted: 29 Jul 2015 05:33 PM PDT

Flickr / 5chw4r7z
Flickr / 5chw4r7z

#SamDubose is currently trending. The man was murdered in cold blood in his car by a police officer in Cincinnati. There’s a body cam video – it’s why some people will believe us this time. But what about when there isn’t video? What ensues are often rationalizations, denial, mental gymnastics, and a, “…but they could have avoided dying if…” all in the name of “being rational.”

Whiteness – the construct – manifested in ideology, politics, and people, always positions itself as rational. Chattel slavery, colonization, Manifest Destiny, discrimination laws, and the legacies that these things leave behind in their institutions and culture, are the product of this rationale.
beetlejuice

#SandraBland

#CharlestonMassacre

#WalterScott

…We can do this all day.

Black people become hashtags. Some weep, some mourn, some write, some protest. Till the next hashtag. Till the next crime against an individual’s humanity, a Black person’s humanity; till the next crime against Blackness. White supremacy continues. And it is insidious and deceptive.

People think that Black people fear the marching KKK and outright White Supremacist groups. No, I do not fear these – these have shown me what they are, and I know where to (never) meet them. Instead, who troubles me most is the perpetually silent White person, the ever-rationalizing White person, the condescending White person who often hides behind his or her Black friends while pretending to know more about Black people’s experiences than Black people.
beetlejuice

Being Black is tiring everywhere you go – and I hail from one of the Blackest countries in the form of Nigeria. But there is no place on earth where one can be Black and exist in a space that was not at some point terrorized with the rationality of Whiteness. None.

Still, being Black in America, brings with it a special kind of exhaustion. Indeed, as Baldwin so aptly pointed out, “To be a Negro in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in rage almost all the time.”

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beetlejuice

Rage can be a good thing. Malcolm X once lamented that people tend to seek change when they are angry. Martin Luther King Jr. who has been essentialized in White America’s history as the guy that sang, Kumbaya, and the country listened – and therefore the civil rights movement was successful. This portrait of MLK presented doesn’t often include a man who said:

I think America must see that riots do not develop out of thin air. Certain conditions continue to exist in our society which must be condemned as vigorously as we condemn riots. But in the final analysis, a riot is the language of the unheard. And what is it that America has failed to hear? It has failed to hear that the plight of the Negro poor has worsened over the last few years. It has failed to hear that the promises of freedom and justice have not been met. And it has failed to hear that large segments of white society are more concerned about tranquility and the status quo than about justice, equality, and humanity. And so in a real sense our nation's summers of riots are caused by our nation's winters of delay. And as long as America postpones justice, we stand in the position of having these recurrences of violence and riots over and over again. Social justice and progress are the absolute guarantors of riot prevention.

or

I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to "order" than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: "I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action"; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man's freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a “more convenient season.”

Anger can be righteous and transformative. It is the reason why against the wishes of this very audience, some of the people who would (wrongly) call themselves my friends, and perhaps the general American historical and cultural amnesia (that is transported globally), that would rather pretend its sins only exist in the past than confront them, I continue to take an interest in race. It is my work, it is my scholarship, it is my activism.

And if you take issue with a Black person, and in this case a Black woman’s anger, might I suggest the following words from Audre Lorde:

For it is not the anger of Black women which is dripping down over this globe like a diseased liquid. It is not my anger that launches rockets, spends over sixty thousand dollars a second on missiles and other agents of war and death, slaughters children in cities, stockpiles nerve gas and chemical bombs, sodomizes our daughters and our earth. It is not the anger of Black women which corrodes into blind, dehumanizing power, bent upon the annihilation of us all unless we meet it with what we have, our power to examine and to redefine the terms upon which we will live and work; our power to envision and to reconstruct, anger by painful anger, stone upon heavy stone, a future of pollinating difference and the earth to support our choices.

My anger does not harm, it does not cause suffering, and it does not take life. And the truth is I would be disinterested in anger entirely if it was only useless or destructive. My anger provides me the will and strength to strive for a humanity in which Blackness is not made to suffer simply because of its existence.

But even then, it is a tragic but important realization that any of us can only do so much; Black people can only do so much. All the writing, protests, hashtags, etc. are necessary. But in all these things, the inevitable truth is that Black people and all People of Color cannot end racism. White people, White institutions, White politics, White ideology, and the ultimate destruction of White supremacy – which has changed its form and dynamic in every age it has existed – is what needs to change.

beetlejuice

Now there are those who want to believe that, “racism will never end.” I do not live in such despair. I am a person of hope at the end of the day. Certainly, the world has a long way to go – inequalities exist at every turn, in every social identity. Intelligent beings have still not found a way to live together without trying to have power over another. This thought is overwhelming sometimes, and so is the world; but this is the only world we know.

Racism as we know it, ultimately, is not the function of God or nature. It is not an “accident” of history. It was created, and it can be destroyed. But its destruction is simply not only up to Black people and People of Color. Racism’s end, in its entirety, can only be seen through by White people who benefit from its system, even if they don’t choose to.

The silence, the denial, the deflection, the derailment, the protection of institutions that harm, creates Black pain, and ultimately leads to many an injustice of Black death. Racism literally kills.

But Black people cannot beg for freedom from anyone, or for the right to exist. By virtue of being human, by God, by nature, Black people are free, and have this right. No other right is more important than this, and any system that fails to acknowledge this right, or gets in the way of this right, is guilty of inhumanity.

Racism is inhumanity. And White people can change that. TC mark