Thought Catalog


I’ve Never Told Anyone This Before: I Started Escorting Before I Turned 18

Posted: 14 Aug 2015 06:57 PM PDT

Shutterstock,  MC2000
Shutterstock, MC2000

I was only fourteen when I was casually browsing the web. Somehow, I ended up on the weird side of the Internet, and I stumbled upon an article about an escort that was living the dream in lower Manhattan. Less than fifteen minutes later, I was captivated by the glamour, the luxury, the allure of it all.

At that very moment, I was on my new computer, in a stereotypical Asian household, with parents that wanted me to become a doctor—preferably, a neurosurgeon. My teachers expected nothing less than the very best, and they held me to high standards based on their fairly accurate perception of my ability. My family was and still is upper middle class, rich enough to afford figure skating lessons, private ice time, and world class coaches; but the one thing they ingrained in me was that we weren't rich enough for me to do nothing.

So I went out and did something. Rich, older men, for the most part.

I'm intelligent, scoring at least three standard deviations above the mean on a Stanford-Binet IQ test. I'm attractive, with perky 32C's sitting on top of a 25-inch waist and 36-inch hips—thanks to lackluster hours at the gym and an above-average set of chromosomes. I'm ambitious and my strong sense of self leads many to believe I'm more intelligent and more attractive than I actually am, and I know how to play right into their overeager imaginations. Unfortunately, if I reach too far, the branch might break, and I just might tumble all the way down, back to where I started.

“I've always believed that I was special—better—than everyone else, and it's led me to take shortcuts in life that are unconventional at best and immoral at worst.”

I've always believed that I was special—better—than everyone else, and it's led me to take shortcuts in life that are unconventional at best and immoral at worst. It started when I cheated in elementary and middle school. I never got caught, but people definitely had their suspicions. Luckily I realized I was too smart to cheat, as studying wouldn't take much longer. My brain soaks up everything I read like a sponge, so the risks and the consequences of getting caught just didn't appear to be worth my while. That was when I started taking "calculated risks"…but unlike a calculator, my brain is a bit harder to calibrate.

Fast forward a few years, and this time, I wasn't seeking grades, but rather, $$$. I learned this quote by Ayn Rand from a very young age, "Money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver." I had places to go and people to see, and by God, I would not be held back by a lack of money.

My parents were willing to spend a fortune on education, but a candy bar? Hell, no. My mom certainly was not wasting ninety-nine cents to satisfy my cravings for some chocolate-nougat-caramel goodness. The same logic applied when I wanted to buy makeup, clothes, and accessories. I felt deprived…so being the ambitious child that I was, I sought to create my own source of income.

When I was 15 going on 18, I realized I had no problem passing for much older, as long as I could cultivate an aura of maturity and a story to back it up. Although some people questioned my age, I always had a believable story about attending college in the fall just waiting in my back pocket. I "accidentally" left my ID at home, but if they'd like, I could go home and get it? That paired with a few gentle touches and the effect of widening my eyes to appear sincere always resulted in an offhanded laugh about how it wasn't necessary…how could someone as genuinely sophisticated as me be just a child?

Not only was I missing an ID, I also didn't have a car, but some breezy remark about my car being in the shop was enough to satisfy most. These men believed me not because my story fit, but because they wanted to.

I wasn't sure how to get started, but I figured I should poke around on Craigslist, especially after all that I had heard. Being the strategic conspirator that I was, I figured out which tone worked, which information was necessary, and what these men wanted to hear. I took a few sexy pictures, developed the perfect story, and created a template for my responses. It all felt like a game. They wanted me and I wanted their wallet.

I probably exchanged emails with 50 different men before meeting a few and deciding upon one as my first customer. He was a lawyer, too busy for relationships, merely looking to fulfill his physical needs, and simply perfect for me. I didn't get paid much, only $350, but considering the fact that he only took twenty minutes, it was fine by me. Back then at the age of 16, a few hundred was enough to last me six months.

I budgeted frugally and I promised myself I would only see another man when I needed to. Little did I know that I had just taken the very first step on a downward spiral. With a somewhat flawed rationale, I had quantified my self-worth and cashed it all in for money. TC mark

19 Guys Talk About The Difference Between Their Dream Girl And The Girl They’re Actually With

Posted: 13 Aug 2015 03:43 PM PDT

Alexander Harris Photography
Alexander Harris Photography

1. "My dream girl was conventionally beautiful, and perfect in all the right ways. The girl I fell for was she's just uniquely beautiful to me. To be sure I think she is more beautiful than any other woman in the world, but the beauty I see in her is certainly a secret that not everyone can see, and I like it that way. It makes me feel like we're destined and designed for each other, because I'm sure she would say the same about me."

— Geo, 30

beetlejuice

2. "The girl I fell for is ugly. I don't know if I really fell for at all, actually. I'm worried our kids might be ugly. Am I too deep down the rabbit hole to get out of this relationship? I'm so far away from dating my dream girl, I don't know why I stick around. I hate my life.”

— Dylan, 22

beetlejuice

3. “My girl is solid. She’s say like 6, but my dream girl would clearly be at least a 9. I’d say my current rag is about a 7-1-6 on the area code scale. 7 being her face. 1 being, yes I’d smash, and 6 being her bod. Her face is fine. I haven’t really gotten tired of it yet (we’ve been together for like 6 months); her bod is not bad, but could be better; she is about 5’7″ 140 lbs. Her boobs are solid, and her butt is OK, but ideally, I’d be with someone who is about 5’7″ 120 lbs, at least a 919. She’d have bigger jugs and more sculpted donk. I imagine she’d squat pretty regularly. Really it would just be a tighter overall package.”

— Sean, 21

beetlejuice

4. “This has been something I’ve been thinking about because I was dating this one girl before who I was just so hot for. But when we weren’t having sex she was almost impossible to be around. No interests, no awareness of the world around her; an empty head. The current girl I’m seeing is great to be around. She’s smart, smarter than me and she’s also rich. And while all that is great I absolutely do not have a strong desire to fuck her. So, yeah, these are both dream girls in their own way. I just wish I could blend them into one person somehow.”

— Mohammed, 26

beetlejuice

5. “Considering I’ve spent nearly my entire relationship life doing things for girls they couldn’t do for themselves like cooking real meals, making enough money for us to do things, and, yes, even doing their taxes, my dream girl would be able to do these things for herself and gasp maybe even do them for me once in a while. The current girl I’m seeing is better but I gotta say that this shit gets old. My dream girl can do things for herself.”

— Joshua, 28

beetlejuice

6. “I dated my dream girl for a year and a half. I was pretty screwed up at the time and we both probably partied too much. It was this weird situation where she was perfect for me but I was waaaay too immature to realize it until near the end when she’d had to call me out on my shit so often that she was pretty much done. Pretty much every girl I’ve dated since has only reminded me how I felt about her those last few months when I was trying to make things right and she was just over it. It’s not a good place to be.”

— Matthew, 25

beetlejuice

7. “I just started dating my dream girl a month ago. Don’t tell her! I’m out of my league here.”

— Mike, 25

beetlejuice

8. “Lately I try not to think about ‘dream girl’ or ‘dream job’ or whatever because it seems like not matter how hard I try I’m not quite getting what I want. My GF cares a lot about me and I care a lot about her. It’s just not really ‘dream’ status. She’s fine, I just wish she was spicier. Let me leave it at that. Okay, seriously though she hates giving blow jobs. I know it seems shallow but it matters!”

— Douglas, 27

beetlejuice

9. “About six months ago I would have told you that my girlfriend absolutely isn’t my dream girl cause when we started dating I thought she was cool and everything but she wasn’t checking a lot of the boxes. But I gotta say that I had no idea what I wanted in the first place. All that stuff I thought I cared about like ‘well-travelled’ and ‘always hated every boy band’ was, I think, just a way to keep from having to actually care about anyone. I don’t mean to be all feely about it but when I think back I think I changed my standards whenever I felt like I just wasn’t clicking with someone so it would be their fault or something. Anyway, my girlfriend is amazing. She’s kind and beautiful and I can’t imagine wanting to be with anyone else.”

— Jamal, 29

beetlejuice

10. “Man, I let a ton of ‘dream girls’ slip through my fingers back when I was younger. Now they’re all married and I’m still single and the dating scene is not like it used to be. The difference between my dream girl and the next girl I meet and click with will be that I won’t take it for granted and it piss it away.”

— Fred, 32

beetlejuice

11. “There are no ‘dream girls’ or ‘dream boys’. Anyone who thinks there is needs to grow the fuck up. People click and they make relationships work. Your dreams can quickly turn into nightmares.”

— Claude, 30

beetlejuice

12. “My ‘dream girl’ was my ex-wife before she cheated on me. These days I’ll settle for ‘girl I can have a quiet dinner with.'”

— Rick, 29

beetlejuice

13. “I’m married to my dream girl and I know she’s my dream girl because she’s stuck with me through everything. Back in 2013 I lost my job and our bills were stacking up. We had to ask her parents for money because my parents don’t have any. It took me nearly two years to get a job that was paying even close to what I was making before. A lot of women would have left instead of pulling double shifts to try and make up some of the difference. The most amazing thing is that if you’d asked me before I lost my job in 2013 if she was my dream girl I would have said no.”

— Stephen, 31

beetlejuice

14. “I’m an ass guy. I’ve yet to meet the ass that meets my ‘dream’ standards but for now I like my girlfriend pretty well. Sometimes I feel like I’m settling though.”

— Brad, 25

beetlejuice

15. “Truthfully, my standards are pretty low. As long as she’s not overweight and hasn’t slept with everyone I know then she’s up for consideration. My dream girl though would probably be the female version of me and have a lot of hobbies and stuff like that. All the girls I’ve dated were interested in brunch and spending money.  It’s like they never quit being 21.”

— Nathan, 25

beetlejuice013

16. My dream girl is a fantasy. She's like one of those robots in that movie Ex Machina — perfectly engineered in personality and looks, utterly adept at everything and so stunningly beautiful that you wouldn't mind if she murdered just as long as she did it with her bare hands so you could be close to her as you died."

— Max, 37

beetlejuice

17. “I don’t know if I’ll ever meet my dream girl. I’ve dated a lot of different women and with about half of them I felt like they were looking to marry rich and quick. I get that game but I’m not into it. A lot of ladies seem to be about themselves like that’s an okay way to be. Luckily for them there’s a lot of chumps out there that won’t expect more. As for my current girlfriend, we broke up about a week ago. I’m swiping all the time these days.”

— Joel, 34

beetlejuice

18. “My dream girl is the chick that everyone wants but no one but me can have and yeah, I’m dating her now. Girls like her are few and far between and I love that every dude we run into is 100% jealous of what I’ve got.”

— Neal, 24

beetlejuice

19. “I’m a mathematician. My dream girl would be interested in math. I’ve yet to meet her.”

— Jacob, 33

Check out this article if you want to see how 17 women answered the exact same question. TC mark

Read This If You’re 25 And You Have Nothing To Show For It

Posted: 14 Aug 2015 09:04 AM PDT

anniepersson
anniepersson

Everybody else around you has it together, regardless of what they’re doing. Whether they’re in finance or publishing or education, they know what they want, and you don’t. They have a great job that they love, or they’re engaged or married or pregnant and starting a family. They’re traveling and exploring the world and taking vacations that they can afford. They have careers or spouses or babies, and you have nothing. They’re doing everything, while you watch from the ground. Or at least, it seems that way.

It seems like you’re the only 25-year-old in the entire world that has no clue where they are supposed to go from here. And while you make jokes with your friends about how your life is a mess and how you don’t know what you’re doing, your laughter is hollow. Because at the end of the day, it’s not really that funny to you anymore. You don’t know where the last five years went and you cannot comprehend the fact that you’re now halfway through your twenties and you have nothing to show for it.

Twenty and twenty-one are a joke. You’re in college, you’re drunk all the time, your biggest concern is whether or not you’re going to see your ex at the next house party. Twenty-two is overwhelming but full of potential. You’re out in the real world, but it’s still cushioned enough that you feel you have room to try new things and behave like a college student on the weekends. Twenty-three is when the pressure starts to set in, but you still feel this lightness around you, this strong sense of hope, this belief that the world is still at your fingertips because you’re still so, so young. Then comes twenty-four, when you’re trying to mold your mind into that of an adult, while telling yourself that in a year from now, it will all make sense.

And then twenty-five hits and nothing makes sense. You start to resent people. You resent your friend with the cool marketing job, and the other friend who’s planning a wedding with a wonderful fiancé, even though you know they’ve done nothing wrong. You’re more so resenting the fact that you’re not in their place. You wish that stuff was happening to you. You wish there was some marked out path for you to follow that would tell you what you’re supposed to do and when, because it seems like there was an actual path marked out for everyone except you.

It would be fun to write a post saying Screw all them, they’re settling down and are bored and are missing out on all of the fun you’re having. You’re figuring out what life is all about, you’re exploring on your own, and they’re just wasting their twenties being boring old adults. 

But that would be a lie. Because there is no right way to live out your twenties. There are some people who were married by twenty-two and wouldn’t have it any other way, because they’re happy and in love and building the foundation of a life with another person. There are some people who discovered their dream job right out of college and just happen to love what they do while still having an amazing salary. That doesn’t make them wrong. Enviable, perhaps, but not wrong.

It’s tempting to try to find a way to think of yourself as mentally or emotionally superior to them – to tell yourself that you’re having life experiences while they sit at home being old and lame. But that’s just your ego talking, trying to keep you above water so that you feel like you can breathe amongst all these other twenty-five-year-olds who seem more successful than you.

Here’s what it comes down to. It’s okay to be twenty-five and have nothing to show for it, as long as you never lose that thirst for life and that desire to keep working hard and searching for what it is that you want to do. You’re not going to find true, genuine happiness and fulfillment through a career or a lifestyle or another person – but those things can certainly help you along the way. They can certainly contribute to your search to find your true meaning and purpose.

There’s no right way to be twenty-five. Because there’s no one, single, specific way to be human. As long as you keep your eyes open, as long as you keep trying new things and working hard and refusing to accept mediocrity as your fate, you will be okay. You will be happy. You will be exactly where you’re supposed to be. TC mark

22 Uplifting Quotes That Will Restore Your Faith In Humanity

Posted: 14 Aug 2015 01:18 PM PDT

Kristina Alexanderson
Kristina Alexanderson

Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.

Iain S. Thomas


The plain fact is that the planet does not need more successful people. But it does desperately need more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers, and lovers of every kind. It needs people who live well in their places. It needs people of moral courage willing to join the fight to make the world habitable and humane. And these qualities have little to do with success as we have defined it.

David W. Orr


You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.

Mahatma Gandhi


When I was young, I used to admire intelligent people; as I grow older, I admire kind people.

Abraham Joshua Heschel


Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution.

Kahlil Gibran


You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.

John Bunyon


Compassion hurts. When you feel connected to everything, you also feel responsible for everything. And you cannot turn away. Your destiny is bound with the destinies of others. You must either learn to carry the Universe or be crushed by it. You must grow strong enough to love the world, yet empty enough to sit down at the same table with its worst horrors."

Andrew Boyd


It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.

Albert Camus


Let us not underestimate how hard it is to be compassionate. Compassion is hard because it requires the inner disposition to go with others to place where they are weak, vulnerable, lonely, and broken. But this is not our spontaneous response to suffering. What we desire most is to do away with suffering by fleeing from it or finding a quick cure for it."

Henri J.M. Nouwen


The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

Mahatma Gandhi


Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.

Louise Erdrich


Angry people want you to see how powerful they are. Loving people want you to see how powerful you are.

Chief Red Eagle


If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.

Mother Teresa


Predators prey on gentleness, peace, calmness, sweetness and any positivity that they sniff out as weakness. Anything that is happy and at peace they mistake for weakness. It’s not your job to change these people, but it’s your job to show them that your peace and gentleness do not equate to weakness… I compare myself to silk. People mistake silk to be weak but a silk handkerchief can protect the wearer from a gunshot. There are many people who will want to befriend you if you fit the description of what they think is weak; predators want to have friends that they can dominate over because that makes them feel strong and important. The truth is that predators have no strength and no courage. It is you who are strong, and it is you who has courage. I have lost many a friend over the fact that when they attempt to rip me, they can’t. They accuse me of being deceiving; I am not deceiving, I am just made of silk. It is they who are stupid and wrongly take gentleness and fairness for weakness. There are many more predators in this world, so I want you to be made of silk. You are silk.

C. JoyBell C.


A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave.

Mahatma Gandhi


Here are the values that I stand for: honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you want to be treated and helping those in need. To me, those are traditional values.

Ellen DeGeneres


How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.

George Washington Carver


Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.

Dalai Lama


Hurt people hurt people. That's how pain patterns gets passed on, generation after generation. Break the chain today. Meet anger with sympathy, contempt with passion, cruelty with kindness. Greet grimaces with smiles. Forgive and forget about finding fault. Love is the weapon of the future.

Yehuda Berg


I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.

Mother Teresa


People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.

Kent M. Keith,


You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

Mahatma Gandhi


TC mark

I’m An NFL Wife, And This Is What You Won’t See On E!’s ‘Wives And Girlfriends’ Show

Posted: 14 Aug 2015 07:13 AM PDT

E!'s new exposé show features the wives and girlfriends (WAGs) of professional athletes as they give a glimpse into what the "real" life of dating an athlete entails. Even Sports Illustrated has picked up a review, titling it "Another Side Of Sports." As a current "WAG" to a professional NFL athlete, the show's promo, message, and trailer completely reiterates wrong stereotypes of what life actually is like for us.

To give you some background, my partner and I have been on the same team for four years. The women who make up the "WAGs" of his team are strong, supportive, and amazing individuals. When I first moved out to our city, I was terrified at the prospect of meeting "NFL Wives," in part because of the negative connotation shows like this create. Upon meeting the women for the very first time, what you would consider a celebrity WAG greeted me with open arms and an open heart, breaking down any barrier I had originally foreseen.

“These women have degrees, graduate education, and passionate goals. We support each other in our decisions to pursue a career or maintain the household.”

When people find out what my partner does for a living, I often get the question of "What are the girls like?" My answer is simply that they're just like any other girl you meet following college. Not everyone is going to be best friends, not because there's some “hierarchy” as promoted on E!'s new show, or forced drama between women, but because that is the normal progression of personalities and friendships. My friends are not dependent on our dating status nor is it by our partner's position on the team, but simply on whom I get along with best.

Additionally, these women have degrees, graduate education, and passionate goals. We support each other in our decisions to pursue a career or maintain the household. Women who have chosen to stay home with their families have chosen to do so in the same manner as any other family – in order to support their family, as opposed to the public misconception of freeloading off of the life of their partner. These women are mothers, accountants, housekeepers, chefs, and take on many other roles that I highly respect them for. Women who have chosen to pursue a career work in business firms, hospitals, training facilities, as entrepreneurs and working professionals, and are vastly supported by the people in our community.

The next reaction I often get is that knowing look from people who think they know what this lifestyle and career entails. E! promotes the 'working WAG' as models clawing their way to an engagement ring. The tagline even reads, "Who's on top of the jersey chasing game?" What does this say about not only partners of professional athletes, but women in general? Those who know my partner and our relationship laugh at public's perception of the WAG status and relationship. We met in college and developed our relationship throughout the past years of dating, as a lot of the couples around us have. The majority of NFL couples we know met in high school or college, before any paycheck, status, or promise of diamonds. Shows like this continue to perpetuate the superficial nature of relationships of professional athletes, missing the point that these are often the exception and not the reality.

The only thing E! seems to get right, or at least acknowledge, is the stress involved in balancing careers, family, and the demands of this profession. While professional athletes are categorized in the entertainment industry, it is still a job, and with any job comes certain stresses and successes. The reason the media fails to understand that the majority of the relationships within this life are just the same as any other profession is that normal is boring, and reality TV preys on disruptive entertainment to draw viewers in. Nobody's going to want to tune in to an episode of a week of work, watching Netflix on the couch, and a friendly once a week girl's night out where we get dinner and are home by 10. People want an escape when they tune into television programs such as E!; I just wish it wasn't at the expense of the public perception of my friends and family. TC mark

100 Of The Funniest Tumblr Posts You’ll Find On The Internet

Posted: 14 Aug 2015 11:28 AM PDT

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18 Pieces Of Wisdom I’d Tell My College Self

Posted: 14 Aug 2015 03:03 PM PDT

Flickr mariahfleming
Flickr mariahfleming

1. Loneliness is OK.

You will feel lonely from time to time. Maybe all of the time. Even in rooms full of people, you will feel alone. This does not mean that you are broken, or unlovable, or worthless. It simply means that you are utterly and beautifully human. Don't try so hard to fill this space. Sit with it, feel it, write about it, make art with it. Your sadness will prove useful someday. Hold it close and embrace it.

2. The only constant is change.

Enjoy the late nights in beanbag-furnished living rooms, the aimless drives at 2AM to see the snow, afternoons sprawled out on the lawn doing nothing but staring at stray wisps of cloud. You will never again have all of your friends living in the same place. You will never again roam the halls of your college, books spilling from your arms, your father's old camera heavy around your neck. Later you will sit in new rooms, in new apartments, in new cities, your heart clenching for these moments.

3. Don't let your best friend cut your bangs.

This will not turn out well.

4. Life is unfair.

Some people are rich. Some are poor. Some are born to loving parents. Some work their entire life to overcome a traumatic childhood. Some people are born privileged. Some are born into circumstances that afford few opportunities. You will resent those with lives that seem easier than yours, but do your best to put this aside. Jealousy is not a productive emotion. Instead, advocate for those less fortunate than you. Understand that racism, classism, sexism, homophobia, and other forms of prejudice do exist. Do your best to combat these stereotypes. Become a feminist. Become an activist. Become an ally. You owe this to the world, and you alone can make a difference. You are powerful beyond measure, even though you don't believe it.

5. This too shall pass.

Whatever sorrow you are feeling, no matter how immense, will dissipate over time. Some mornings you will wake up and feel like you can't get out of bed, but this is only temporary. As cliché as it sounds, time goes on and nothing lasts forever. A day will come when you'll step into the afternoon without a heavy heart. This will be your beginning. Wait for it. It will be here sooner than you think.

6. You can't force someone to love you.

If you need to convince someone to be with you, this isn't the person you want. Love should be easy, not hard. Someone will come along and love you exactly for who you are. This person will love you for the way you cry so easily, the way you feel so deeply, not in spite of these things. In the meantime, your friends will be your parachute, your safety net. Fall into them. Most importantly, there is no one who will ever complete you. Except for you.

7. Food is not the enemy.

Eat! Find good food that will nourish you. Eat until you feel full and then stop. Don't skip meals. Don't eat until you feel sick. Don't throw up. Get exercise. Order dessert. The people who care about you will do so regardless of your weight. All of this concern over food and appearance will amount to nothing. You will look back and regret the time spent worrying about those s'mores you ate on that camping trip with your friends, instead of relishing the star-studded sky above you, the wind surging through the pines. Being thin does not equal happiness. It never will.

8. Cut ties with toxic people.

You are not obligated to be friends with anyone. That girl in the dorm room next to you who makes you feel uneasy for some unknown reason but that you are friends with anyway—let her go. You don't need to explain yourself. Relationships should bring you up, not down. You have the right to choose. Be picky. Select wisely.

9. Don't join a sorority.

These girls are not your friends. You will de-pledge after one semester. Your true friends are waiting for you, and they aren't forcing you to degrade yourself for six weeks in order to prove you are worthy of joining their group.

10. Women are not the competition.

Jealousy will make you a sick person. Stop wanting to be her. You are you for a reason. No one will ever be you. Stop talking behind her back. Give others compliments and mean them. Support other women, don't criticize them. An ex-girlfriend has nothing to do with you—she's an ex for a reason. Stop stalking her social media profiles. Read a book. Go for a bike ride. Go to a cafe and stare out the window at the autumn afternoon. Let the sun wash over your face.

11. Forgive people.

Don't hold grudges. Everyone makes mistakes. Even you. Especially you. Forgive your father, not for him, but for you. Forgiveness changes you. Do it often.

12. Wear sunscreen.

This is a must. Your skin will thank you for it later.

13. Question everything.

Those in a place of authority are not always right. Don't be afraid to question their ideas or disagree with them. Don't ever make yourself small in the company of someone who intimidates you. The professor who negates your interpretation of that beautiful poem isn't right. He just isn't. You have agency. You have a voice. Use it.

14. Do what you love.

That's it. Just do what you love and do it every day. Nothing will give you more satisfaction or provide you with a greater sense of purpose. You will publish a book someday. All the time you spend writing alone in your room will be worth it.

15. Love yourself.

This is one of the hardest things you will ever have to do. Forgive yourself. The worst thing you've ever done isn't that bad. Let it go. Resolve to do better in the future and move on. You are brilliant and intelligent and kind and smart. Stand in front of the mirror and say this to yourself every day, no matter how silly it makes you feel. Soon you will begin to believe it.

16. Don't try to be someone else.

The right people will love you for who you are. The music you listen to, your hobbies, your weaknesses, your strengths—these are all the things that make you unique. Don't cut your hair short when you love it long, or smoke cigarettes on the balcony of your dorm room to look cool. Don't pretend that you love rock climbing, or let someone convince you to pierce your lip over spring break. Your true friends will stand by you regardless of that Dashboard Confessionals CD on your desk, or your ability to watch Bring It On endlessly. Don't let others define your interests. Only you can do that.

17. Study abroad.

Do it! You will regret this missed chance for the rest of your life.

18. Be kind.

No truer words have ever been spoken than these: "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." Your assumptions about other people's lives are rarely true. Social media lies. If nothing else in this list strikes a chord, at least be kind. The world needs your kindness. Make it a better place. TC mark

10 Things That Happen When You’re An Aspiring Dog Mom

Posted: 14 Aug 2015 07:23 AM PDT

grayrohde
grayrohde

1. When you meet random dogs in passing or at a friend or family member's house you secretly hope this dog thinks you're really cool and slightly worry that it won't.

2. And if a dog acts indifferent towards you your feelings actually get a little hurt. What does this MEAN? What does this SAY about me as an aspiring dog mom??? Does this mean I'm not fit to be a dog mom??? *cries*

3. It is basically impossible for you to not want to hug and squeeze every adorable dog you see in public. So much floofy hair! So much puff! That floppy tongue!

4. When a friend blows off plans or some dude doesn’t text you back you think man, if only I had a dog. MY DOG WOULD NEVER DO THIS TO ME. 

5. Some people start getting baby fever in their mid-20s but you’ve only experienced doggy fever. Pretty much every time you see a dog your eyes turn into heart eye emojis and you start thinking about your future and when it will become possible for you to actualize your dog mom dreams.

6. You start following cute dogs on Instagram. Pugs, German Shepherds, Golden Retrievers, whatever! Why look at Insta pics of your friend’s afternoon latte or their vacation in Maui when you could be looking at pics of dogs rolling around?

7. When you get really down about life you don't turn to drinking or drugs. No, you turn to watching non-stop dog videos on YouTube. The best pick me up on any day is watching videos of Golden Retrievers be absolutely adorable on repeat.

8. Sometimes you browse the Pet Finder ads and let yourself dream for a little bit. First you just look at pics and think "look at all these cuties!!" but then you start reading their personal story and you start getting all teary eyed thinking about how all they want is a good home and YOU could be the one to give them that home. If only you had the time/money/etc right now. Sigh. Not right now but someday.

9. You think about all the ways having a dog could benefit your life. You’d have someone to go with you hiking, running, or help you finish whatever you can’t eat. Plus, think about all the hot babes you’ll meet while walking your fluff monster. Not only will your dog bring you joy and happiness and but they’ll probably introduce you to the love of your life.

10. You've heard your friends say they were born to be a mom but you don't really get it. I mean, if anything, you were definitely born to be a dog mom. You've known for a long time. Babies are cool but a dog's love is forever. TC mark

44 Quotes About Overcoming Adversity That Will Make You Want To Rise Up And Kick Life In The Teeth

Posted: 14 Aug 2015 02:41 AM PDT

emmroses
emmroses

1.

All the adversity I’ve had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me….You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.
—Walt Disney


2.

There’s nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you.
—Woody Hayes


3.

Have the courage to face a difficulty lest it kick you harder than you bargained for.
—Stanislaus I


4.

Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.
—Josephine Hart


5.

When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson


6.

Every flower must grow through dirt.
—Proverb


7.

Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.
—Truman Capote


8.

If you’re going through hell, keep going.
—Winston Churchill


9.

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.
—Kenji Miyazawa


10.

I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.
—Michael Jordan


11.

I hated every minute of training, but I said, “Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.”
—Muhammad Ali


12.

The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt.
—Max Lerner


13.

Let your joy scream across the pain.
—Terri Guillemets


14.

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight.
—Josh Billings


15.

Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are.
—Arthur Golden


16.

And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm's all about.
—Haruki Murakami


17.

You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.
—Maya Angelou


18.

The most beautiful people I’ve known are those who have known trials, have known struggles, have known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.
—Elisabeth Kübler-Ross


19.

Every trial endured and weathered in the right spirit makes a soul nobler and stronger than it was before.
—James Buckham


20.

Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.
—Helen Keller


21.

Laugh in the face of adversity, and leap before you look. Dance as though EVERYBODY is watching. March to the beat of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse to fit in.
—Mandy Hale


22.

Use what you’ve been through as fuel, believe in yourself and be unstoppable!
—Yvonne Pierre


23.

If you do not believe that hearts can bloom suddenly bigger, and that love can open like a flower out of even the hardest places, then I am afraid that for you the road will be long and brown and barren, and you will have trouble finding the light.


24.

But if you do believe, then you already know all about magic.
—Lauren Oliver


25.

Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortune, but great minds rise above them.
—Washington Irving


26.

If you live long enough, you’ll make mistakes. But if you learn from them, you’ll be a better person. It’s how you handle adversity, not how it affects you. The main thing is never quit, never quit, never quit.
—Bill Clinton


27.

The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it.
—Moliere


28.

A problem is a chance for you to do your best.
—Duke Ellington


29.

Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.
—Francis of Assisi


30.

Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome.
—Booker T. Washington


31.

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to success is more important than any other one thing.
—Abraham Lincoln


32.

Turn your wounds into wisdom.
—Oprah Winfrey


33.

There is no education like adversity.
—Disraeli


34.

I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.
—Jimmy Dean


35.

Believe you can and you’re halfway there.
—Theodore Roosevelt


36.

If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.
—Milton Berle


37.

All the world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming.
—Helen Keller


38.

When adversity strikes, that’s when you have to be the most calm. Take a step back, stay strong, stay grounded and press on.
—LL Cool J


39.

Overcoming my dad telling me that I could never amount to anything is what has made me the megalomaniac that you see today.
—Bono


40.

It’s part of life to have obstacles. It’s about overcoming obstacles; that’s the key to happiness.
—Herbie Hancock


41.

Brave men rejoice in adversity, just as brave soldiers triumph in war.
—Lucius Annaeus Seneca


42.

It is courage, courage, courage, that raises the blood of life to crimson splendor. Live bravely and present a brave front to adversity.
—Horace


43.

Fire is the test of gold; adversity, of strong men.
—Martha Graham


44.

Adversity is the diamond dust Heaven polishes its jewels with.
—Thomas Carlyle TC mark

6 Times It’s Okay To Not Give A F*ck

Posted: 14 Aug 2015 10:05 AM PDT

Twenty20 / LariStreule
Twenty20 / LariStreule

1. When you’re worried what others will think. That phrase, “dance like no one is watching,” is the epitome of not giving a fuck when you’re worried what others will think. You can’t control how other people see you, you can only control how you see yourself. Don’t live life worrying what everyone else is thinking about you. Live your life according to you, your sanity, and your happiness. Not everyone has to approve or favor your decisions, they just have to live with them, and so do you. If you want to dance like a maniac, dance. If you want to jump in the water with all of your clothes on (or off), then jump. Other people aren’t stopping you from living your life the way you want to, you are.

2. When you’re rejected for something you can’t control. Whether the cute guy at the bar just isn’t interested, or your dream employer turned you down, don’t let it stop you from trying again. Not for the same guy, or job, but another one of your ambitious endeavors. This is a great time to not give a fuck, because this most likely will not be the last rejection you experience in your life. Don’t let rejection discourage you, let it motivate you. DGAF and get back on that metaphorical horse.

3. When you’ll never see someone again. We all have those moments when we come across someone who we wish did not exist. It could be that drunk man on the subway who won’t stop blatantly staring at your boobs, or it could be the random girl who cut you in line for the bathroom you’ve been waiting for, for the past hour. The perfect time to not give a fuck is when you know you won’t ever see this terrible human being again. So go for it. Tell that guy there’s an entire world wide web where he can see a whole lot more, and tell that girl to wait like all the other regular people in line. DGAF.

4. When you know you’re doing the right thing. There is no better time to not give a fuck than when you know you’re actions are completely justified. So go ahead and live a little. Blatantly don’t hold the elevator for the guy who just told you off in your morning meeting. And feel free to sneak that opened water bottle into the football stadium. Because one, that guy deserves it, and two, the stadium is just going to charge you 5 dollars for their bottled water anyway. You’re convinced it’s right and if you have to bend the rules a little bit or break social etiquette, so be it.

5. When whatever you’re doing benefits your physical, mental, or emotional health. Don’t let your health become your last priority. Whatever or whoever is exhausting you, and forcing you to become a miserable zombie, let it go! Do what you need to do to get your healthy self back, and don’t think so much about who else might be affected as a result. Meditate on the train if you have to. Breathe deeply when your boss is giving you grief. Tell that friend who won’t stop venting about her ex that she should just get over it. Your main concern is your stability, and the result of not giving a fuck might just bring you that balance back.

6. When the end result will be the same no matter what. If you find yourself in a Catch 22, it won’t really matter if any fucks are given. When there is an inevitable end that is patiently waiting for you, or a perpetual lull that is keeping you in the same place, you should feel free to throw your inhibitions to the wind. Stirring things up, might just make life a little more interesting. TC mark