Thought Catalog

I’m Done Sleeping With Men Who Only Want To Fuck

Posted: 05 Aug 2015 09:38 AM PDT

James Wildexo
James Wildexo

I’m done with gross pig sex. Living in New York is comparable to living in a sexually charged urban swamp. The smells and damp air go from repugnant to sexually charged faster than the doors close when you’re trying to catch the subway.

Upon arriving in New York City you feel the pulse of the city. For me, that pulse really resonated in the apex of my thighs. I wanted to fuck and be fucked. So I did. From the Polish guy to the Jewish guy and the other Jewish guy and the Jewish guy who made me sit on his face, the DA who forgot to mention his fiancée, nipple clamps guy, and the weatherman. I fucked my way through the depressing job search, being homesick, and I fucked my way through boredom. I was a real New York Fucker.

My sexual history, like most women's, is complicated. Unfortunately, I am a statistic, I am the one of four who has been sexually assaulted. In high school a guy had sex with me while I was asleep. I don’t say the “R” word and if it’s to be characterized as anything it’d be “Sexual Battery” according to my home state’s interpretation of the law.

After that I didn’t have sex for 3 years. I attempted to disappear from the eyes of men. I ate. I gained weight in hopes of no one wanting to ever sleep with me again. Men love skinny women, so I wanted to be repulsive.

Unfortunately for me, it wasn’t that easy. The one good thing to come out of my experience has been the realization that not all men, #notallmen, are model-hunting philanderers. It didn’t matter how I looked like or how much I weighed, I never had a drought of dudes to hang out with. When I was ready for more than friendship it was with a guy I’d met in my dorm. We’d been flirting with the idea of a physical relationship for months. In his eyes I was a tease, but I didn’t want to ruin what we had. What if I freaked out during sex? What if I cried? What if I couldn’t look at him afterwards?

I decided to tell him why I was hesitant about incorporating a physical relationship. That ended our flirtation. He couldn’t handle my baggage. To this day I hold no ill will toward him; on my bad days I say he wasn’t "man enough" or "strong enough" to deal with me. Those may both be true, however, I can’t hold a grudge against someone for knowing their limits. My experience was something that made him uncomfortable, to ask him for more than he could give would be cruel and irresponsible.

When I finally had sex for the first and last time in college, it was with a real winner. I had told him it’d been three years since I last had sex, so go slow (because he was black and I assumed he’d have a 12-inch river monster cock because I’m a white girl from rural Ohio). Luckily for me, his coke habit had left his river monster a little softer than expected. Unluckily for me, when I breathily whispered, “Rub my clit” into his ear he said, “Woah, you’re the one who hasn’t had sex in three years, I know what I’m doing.” So, naturally, when we switched positions I Lucy Liu roundhouse kicked him in his stupid fucking head.

Fast-forward to being a New York Fucker. I felt as if I’d regained my confidence in my own body. I trusted my judgment again, I was able to feel safe when I decided to sleep with someone. My number of partners doubled within the first year. I was having rough, hot sex pretty steadily with a guy I was really physically attracted to. Hair pulling, spanking, choking—I loved it. This did concern me. Was I being a "good victim"? I like rough sex; am I allowed to like it after a sexual trauma?

You’re entitled to whatever you want as long as it’s between two consenting adults. However, when a man I really liked and could really see myself falling for said, “You…you like it rough” after we had sex for the second time, I felt gross. I was disgusted with myself, not because I was ashamed of enjoying rough sex. I was disgusted with myself because I removed myself from this beautiful, passionate moment because I couldn’t handle the intimacy. Instead of facing him with his hands in my hair and on my face as we kissed, I flipped over and gave him the metaphorical cold shoulder but the literal doggy style dismissal. I chose pig sex over real passionate, Ryan Gosling fantasy sex.

This is my declaration: I will no longer have pig sex.

No more fucking that guy I hate as a person but has a perfect uncircumcised dick.

No more treating someone as a means to an orgasm.

If I internally roll my eyes at them more than five times on a date, no sex.

I am ready for intimacy.

I am ready for more than a matted-hair-mascara-troll-face-ride home on the subway.

In the immortal words of Foreigner, “I want to know what love is.”

For now. TC mark

50 Men And Women On What The Word ‘Slut’ Means To Them

Posted: 05 Aug 2015 10:59 AM PDT


1. "A woman who scares the shit out of boys."

— Larkin, 22

2. "A slut is a person, male or female, who has sex for the wrong reasons."

— Effie, 18

3. "A slut is something I wish I was."

— Farah, 23

4. "A word some burnt dude came up with when the girl he liked wouldn't fuck him."

— Carla, 25

5. "A woman who thinks her vagina is her only avenue to happiness."

— Bryson, 22

6. "Slut = Female Playa."

— Arlo, 20

7. "A word I emptily use to insult a girl when I secretly just think she's hotter and better-dressed then me and/or is someone I wish I were talking to."

— Isa, 19

8. "A woman who doesn't fear her own sexuality."

— Kaia, 25

9. "'Slut?' You mean magnificent love-angel generous enough to let you touch her wings?"

— Aamir, 27

10. "A word that does and should exist to describe women who actively seek casual sex."

— Kinsley, 18

11. "Someone who doesn't know their worth."

— Flynn, 23

12. “A word used by girls and boys with hateful insecurities to shame people. A word used by women who love women to praise each other.”

— Tanya, 21

13. "A term used in the gay community to showcase chastising endearment and sexual liberation."

— Randall, 24

14. "Someone who treats sex with a stereotypically masculine attitude."

— Paloma, 19

15. "A woman who just wants to live."

— Fariz, 21

16. "A woman whose unconfined sexuality threatens the order of our hetero-patriarchal society."

— Oda, 20

17. "A slut is every girl who's ever deaded you."

— Clayton, 19

18. "To me, it feels like a word that's used to shame girls for acting on their desires."

— Lloyd, 24

19. "The word 'slut' is society's exclamation of fear and loathing when a woman steps a toe over the line of staying in her place as a virginal, one-man girl."

— Ramsey, 22

20. "A person who cries a lot at night."

— Shea, 25

21. "A slut is something thirsty boys call me when they're mad I won't sleep with them."

— Yani, 21

22. "A girl whose self-worth is measured exclusively by her sexual currency."

— Ariana, 23

23. "A slut is a woman people need a reason to hate."

— Lamar, 20

24. "A slut is a woman whom society deems unclean."

— Teegan, 28

25. "The kind of woman you don't need to wine and dine."

— Julien, 26

26. "The kind of woman I intend to marry."

— Eddie, 24

27. "The kind of woman I want to love."

— Willa, 19

28. "A girl who sleeps around a lot and is easy."

— Ann, 22

29. "A slut is a woman with the gall the suggest that she has the same rights to her body as any man does his."

— Rahim, 23

30. "A boss ass bitch who fucks whom she likes, when she likes."

— Naya, 20

31. "A slut is a woman who enjoys sex for herself/for the sake of sex."

— Kelly, 26

32. "My ex-boyfriend."

— Priya, 24

33. "A slut is a woman with the moral compass of a man."

— Clint, 27

34. "Slut = woman who fucks as much as a guy does."

— Amani, 20

35. "To be a 'slut' just means to be utterly confused, self-conscious, and lonely. I was a 'slut' in high school, though, so that's potentially an interesting perspective for me to have."

— Lili, 22

36. "A woman who's lost control over her sexual impulses."

— Jayden, 24

37. "A slut is somebody who sleeps with everyone and everything because she needs that kind of constant attention to feel good about herself."

— Mireya, 21

38. "Me. And my friends. Because we love sluts."

— Emerson, 22

39. "A sad person who can't be stimulated by anything but sex."

— Cody, 23

40. "A slut is the kind of person whose company I most enjoy."

— Duval, 25

41. "A slut is a person who doesn't respect the sanctity of sex."

— Malika, 19

42. "A woman who knows she has the freedom to explore her likes and dislikes."

— Salma, 27

43. "A slut is woman everybody loves to hate."

— Saim, 24

44. "When you use or display your body in a way that's less than virginal, you are slut."

— Hartley, 22

45. "A woman who doesn't give two shits that you don't like her."

— Sada, 20

46. "Someone who over-advertises their sexuality."

— Jewel, 21

47. "A slut is a someone who needs an STD test."

— Peter, 29

48. "A slut is what I call myself when I do slutty things—when I act 'dirty' or lower my standards. Most girls are sluts, I think—some are just dirtier than others."

— Mavis, 20

49. "A word I'll teach my children to use only as congratulations."

— Nimah, 25

50. "The word 'slut' is just a tool used by society to control women. E.g. 'She didn't text me back, therefore, she is a slut.'"

— Carlos, 22

Live Blog: How Many Shots Will It Take To Get Through The First GOP Debate

Posted: 06 Aug 2015 03:12 PM PDT

via Fox Sports
via Fox Sports

Welcome to Thought Catalog’s Live Blog of the first GOP debate at 9pm starring Jacob Geers and Daniel Hayes aka James B. Barnes aka Old Man Barnes. We chose this drinking game from Fox Sports because it seemed appropriate. The above pic shows where everyone will be sitting. I think Fox is hoping a fistfight will break out between Bush and Trump and they’ve stuck Christie way out on the left cause they hate him even thought The Donald used to be a Democrat and gave money to Hillary Clinton. These are vengeful people assigning these seats. They do not forget and they do not forgive.

We’ll be discussing the finer points of just what kind of person we need to lead our country moving into the future and figuring out if any of these guys have a snowball’s chance in hell of making it to the ultimate crowning and swearing in ceremony in light of the vast increase of populist rhetoric both on the Right and the Left.

Remember though, it’s all about the Donald right now and the nine other guys on stage are there mostly to just try and shut him up at this point. Should be similar to any holiday dinner with your insanely racist uncle who hasn’t read a book since the 8th grade and talks with food in his mouth. Bring your own booze.

Donald sees what you’re doing right now. He sees and he judges you.


Daniel Hayes [11:10 PM]
Well, this is it. For those of you who haven’t passed out from intoxication, Jacob and I want to thank you for checking with us here and we’re going to sew this live blog up for the evening. Thanks again. Also, I nominate this for best Twitter post of the evening.

Jacob Geers [11:09 PM]
I agree, it’s hard to even remember the lower tier candidates (who got less questions)

Daniel Hayes [11:09 PM]
Scott Walker was far odder looking than I remember him being. I feel like this debate simply had too many people in it.

Jacob Geers [11:08 PM]
Trump held the course. I don’t think he got anything from the debate, but I don’t think he lost anything either

Daniel Hayes [11:07 PM]
I actually think Trump held up though. I don't think they hurt him at all.

Jacob Geers [11:07 PM]
I don’t think Jeb did any harm, but I don’t think he did much either

Jacob Geers [11:06 PM]
Last place goes to whoever picked the questions. There were a few exceptions, but most seemed strategically set to incite drama rather than to get vital information for the American people. Kasich was probably the strongest imo, maybe followed by Carson who actually articulated his positions well

Daniel Hayes [11:05 PM
Okay, this was a terrible debate, IMO. What do you think?

Jacob Geers [11:04 PM]
Fox News Host: “ITS OVER!”

Jacob Geers [11:04 PM]
lol sums it up

Daniel Hayes [11:05 PM]
Trump doesn't know Japanese cars are made in the U.S. to a large degree, interesting.

Jacob Geers [11:04 PM]
Trump: “We don’t win any more.” All this guy wants if a few checkers victories and he’ll go home

Daniel Hayes [11:03 PM]
Scott Walker: "I'm aggressively normal.”

Jacob Geers [11:01 PM]
lol @ Carson’s zinger about brains
Huckabee is throwing shade at Trump like no other

Daniel Hayes [11:01 PM]
He just said the wanted to "persecute religious liberty.”

Jacob Geers [11:00 PM]

Daniel Hayes [11:00 PM]
Ted Cruz. lol. he looks like a bird with his weird voice.
Christie: “I don't care if anyone loves us as long as they fear us…basically that's what i got out of it.”

Rand Paul is now correctly asserting that he’s a different kind of Republican.
Rubio is talking about being an immigrant and the American Dream.

Jacob Geers [10:58 PM]
Also, is anyone keeping a clock on how long Donald Trump has stayed quiet? I’m impressed / surprised

Daniel Hayes [10:57 PM]
Closing statements, thank God, this has gone on forever. Waaaaaay too many people. I have learned little about any one of these candidates.

Jacob Geers [10:56 PM]
They didn’t ask Huckabee about God?

Daniel Hayes [10:54 PM]
Jeb did right at the beginning.

Carson: Black people create race wars.

Jacob Geers [10:52 PM]
I’m surprised nobody has tried to promote their book in this debate

Daniel Hayes [10:52 PM]
he's in the pocket of the USPS

Jacob Geers [10:52 PM]
ALSO, is Kasich playing a secret game with his campaign for how many times he can mention his mailman father?

Daniel Hayes [10:51 PM]
Oh, i know. *Sermon lasts forever*

Jacob Geers [10:51 PM]
Even this answer from Rubio is unmemorable

Jacob Geers [10:51 PM]
Please please please ask Huckabee this question

Jacob Geers [10:51 PM]
Has anyone gotten an email, text, or telegram from God?

Daniel Hayes [10:51 PM]
God time, Jacob!

Daniel Hayes [10:46 PM]
These idiots have no idea how the military even works or how much of a military we even have and neither does their audience.

As an aside, we’ve reached the part of the evening where I’ve had enough to drink and will now start just calling people “idiots” willy nilly.

Jacob Geers [10:45 PM]
that’s been his historic position anyway, I think. Also Rand Paul is trying to cure our budget problems by cutting foreign aid, which is like 1/10th of 1% of our budget. The United States could cut our military in half, and still have the largest military in the world

Jacob Geers [10:46 PM]
@ Chris Christie hoping to grow our armed forces

Daniel Hayes [10:44 PM]
Didn't he basically say that gay people shouldn't serve their country?

Jacob Geers [10:43 PM]
Huckabee: “The purpose of the military is to kill people and break things”

Daniel Hayes [10:42 PM]
Yeah, everything starts with the military which is simply untrue. Walker would put weapons in Ukraine which is already being done. Good job, Walker.

Daniel Hayes [10:42 PM]
Yeah, everything starts with the military which is simply untrue.

Jacob Geers [10:41 PM]
Did I hear that right?

Jacob Geers [10:41 PM]
We have to make the military bigger??

Daniel Hayes [10:41 PM]
Carson is now bitching about military budget cuts

Daniel Hayes [10:41 PM]
that's insanity

Jacob Geers [10:40 PM]
Rubio has been very unmemorable this debate

Daniel Hayes [10:40 PM]
I think Ted Cruz is a robot or an alien. I do not believe he is human. He has this weird nasally sing song deal going on with his voice like it's controlled by an electronic modulator. I feel he's trying to hypnotize me.

Daniel Hayes [10:40 PM]
Oh, he mentioned Reagan, drink!

Daniel Hayes [10:39 PM]
In fairness to Trump, which is a phrase I never thought I'd use, I've been astounded that the O administration didn't demand American hostages back. Like, that's basic.

Jacob Geers [10:37 PM]
Trump: “I don’t want to call Obama incompetent, because that’s not nice.”

Daniel Hayes [10:36 PM]
Okay, beer break

Jacob Geers [10:34 PM]
Yeah, that was interesting

Jacob Geers [10:34 PM]
I also think it was interesting who the moderators asked the “gay marriage” question to. Not Huckabee haha

Daniel Hayes [10:31 PM]
Yeah, that was a super even handed answer.
Blacklivesmatter time – Walker: The solution to police problems in the black community is training.

I mean, that's the answer everyone's given forever and I noticed they asked Walker that instead of…I don't know…the Black candidate?

Daniel Hayes [10:31 PM]
"I would love my daughter even if she was gay. Just because we don't agree with someone doesn't mean we don't love them unconditionally.”

Daniel Hayes [10:31 PM]
Yeah, that was a super even handed answer.

Daniel Hayes [10:31 PM]
"I would love my daughter even if she was gay. Just because we don't agree with someone doesn't mean we don't love them unconditionally.”

Jacob Geers [10:30 PM]
I am actually surprised Kasich got applause for his positive response on gay marriage

Jacob Geers [10:30 PM]
(somewhat positive response)

Daniel Hayes [10:29 PM]
Dude, I'm already having a little trouble here.

Daniel Hayes [10:30 PM]
Trump just called him a gentleman then said "we don't have time for tone.”

Daniel Hayes [10:29 PM]
Dude, I'm already having a little trouble here. Jeb: “Florida kicked ass while I was there.”

Jacob Geers [10:29 PM]
Take a drink everytime Jeb talks about Florida

Daniel Hayes [10:28 PM]
love that he blamed bush for obama

Daniel Hayes [10:28 PM]
good stuff, edgy

Daniel Hayes [10:29 PM]
after saying bush was awful at the end

Jacob Geers [10:27 PM]
Oh goodness, even Trump is invoking Ronald Reagan

Jacob Geers [10:19 PM]
He shouldn’t haven given up talk-television

Jacob Geers [10:19 PM]
another time out, “social issues” next and I’m scared

Daniel Hayes [10:18 PM]
They'll all tear up the deal but Rand Paul isn't against negotiating. He'll be the only one, I imagine.

Daniel Hayes [10:17 PM]
I love how they all know exactly what happened during Iran negotiations despite having no idea how it went.

Jacob Geers [10:16 PM]
lololol Fox just showed a clip of Rick Perry in the b-team debate, and I’m really sad he isn’t in this one

Daniel Hayes [10:15 PM]
Repeal Dodd-Frank because THAT's what wiped out small banks. The global financial collapse never happened according to Rubio.

Jacob Geers [10:12 PM]
He is basically left, “I burnt down the house, now hire me to rebuild it.” Trump: “I am very very proud of making money in Atlantic City”

Daniel Hayes [10:11 PM]
I love this. His reformed con man schtick is great.

Jacob Geers [10:11 PM]
Donald Trump: “I have never gone bankrupt, I have chosen to go bankrupt.”

Daniel Hayes [10:11 PM]
You're bankrupt, Donald!

Jacob Geers [10:10 PM]
Mike Huckabee blames prostitutes and pimps for freeloading and hurting entitlements?

Jacob Geers [9:55 PM]
for some reason i giggle everytime they say “Quicken loans arena”

Debate summary so far:
– Majority of debate has had something to do with Donald Trump
– Ben Carson thinks god is a pretty fair guy, actually says something worthwhile maybe
– Rand Paul gets really hyper about the 4th amendment
– Chris Christie doesn’t care that much about privacy
– Jeb Bush did something dull in Florida that resulted in something dull

Daniel Hayes [9:58 PM]
On SkyNews they're talking with normal viewers who all say this debate has been awful and no one has answered anything. I'm telling you, it's reality television. Kasich is the only one who's actually said anything and Carson with that tithing thing.

Daniel Hayes [9:55 PM]
What's up with Rubio? It's like No Child Left Behind ever happened and Republicans never supported it overwhelmingly.

Daniel Hayes [9:54 PM]
me neither

Jacob Geers [9:54 PM]
I don’t think I retained anything he said

Daniel Hayes [9:54 PM]
How is he this dull?

Jacob Geers [9:54 PM]
coincidence? I think not…

Jacob Geers [10:17 PM]

Daniel Hayes [9:54 PM]
God, Jeb is so dull.

Jacob Geers [9:54 PM]
It also might have been one of the few that didn’t involve Donald Trump

Daniel Hayes [9:52 PM]
This is called a flat tax. Yeah, he’s calling for a 10% flat tax. That’s the only solid policy suggestion I’ve heard all night.

Daniel Hayes [9:52 PM]

Jacob Geers [9:52 PM]

Jacob Geers [9:52 PM]
Carson: “New tax system should be based on tithing”

Daniel Hayes [9:51 PM]
That can't be an accident.

Daniel Hayes [9:51 PM]
Huckabee just referred to government as an "axis of power.”

Daniel Hayes [9:50 PM]
I love that, like a reformed criminal. But I have to say that he's got a point about the pay to play campaign giving.

Daniel Hayes [9:50 PM]
I love that, like a reformed criminal. But I have to say that he's got a point about the pay to play campaign giving.

Jacob Geers [9:49 PM]
“The system is broken. I know, I took advantage of it all the time.”

Jacob Geers [9:48 PM]
Trump is bragging about bribing people??

Daniel Hayes [9:48 PM]
I can't tell what Trump is talking about doing? Get rid of unions? Now he wants a single payer system. Is this the part of the evening where they all walk up with knives and stab him to death?

Jacob Geers [9:48 PM]
oh god, now this debate is about Trump’s conservative credentials

Jacob Geers [9:47 PM]
Fox News: “Let’s talk about healthcare!”
Donald Trump: “I have an awesome thing to say about Iraq”

Daniel Hayes [9:47 PM]
I'm through half this bottle according to just a very few of the rules.

Daniel Hayes [9:46 PM]
"Let me tell you about Carson.” We have a Bob Dole third person talker here.

Jacob Geers [9:45 PM]
LOL Ben Carson: “I didn’t think I was going to get to talk again.” His comments are downhill from there though.

Daniel Hayes [9:44 PM]
"I am not my brother but I am my brother." He's really not though. He's not a doof. Seriously, Jeb is LOSING big in this format. It’s like a carnival.

Jacob Geers [9:43 PM]
Why do I get the feeling that Jeb Bush says he wouldn’t have gone into Iraq just to distance himself from his brother?

Daniel Hayes [9:42 PM]
interestingly, I agree with that whole "if you go fight for ISIS then you lose your citizenship" thing
that he just said. What’s happening to me. I don’t like Ted Cruz.

Daniel Hayes [9:42 PM]
does Cruz think that ISIS is attacking the US?

Daniel Hayes [9:41 PM]
Cruz: We will not defeat radical terrorism until Obama says "radical islamic terrorism.”

Jacob Geers [9:41 PM]
sounds like a gameshow

Daniel Hayes [9:41 PM]
How would you destroy ISIS in 90 days?

Daniel Hayes [9:41 PM]
Yeah, running hot.

Jacob Geers [9:39 PM]
“That was an interesting exchange.” – lol to say the least

Daniel Hayes [9:39 PM]
DAMN, Christie says to use the system how it's supposed to work….whatever that means.

Christie: “I hugged people after 9/11″

Jacob Geers [9:39 PM]
Rand Paul throws SHADE: “You gave Obama a big hug”

Jacob Geers [9:38 PM]
Rand Paul is screaming “4th amendment” repeatedly

Daniel Hayes [9:38 PM]
Ron Paul:” I want to collect more records from terrorists and less from Americans.”

Jacob Geers [9:38 PM]
Oh my goodness

Daniel Hayes [9:38 PM]
Christie doesn't oppose bulk collection?

Daniel Hayes [9:37 PM]
Wait, what?

Daniel Hayes [9:36 PM]
"Our leaders don't want to enforce immigration laws.

Jacob Geers [9:36 PM]
“We fundamentally change America by letting people stay here.”

Daniel Hayes [9:35 PM]
That is so awesome. This is the first time he's spoken, I think.
Jacob Geers [9:34 PM]
oh wow I forgot that Ted Cruz was even here

Daniel Hayes [9:32 PM]
Rubio: Mexico is no longer the source of immigration! Guatemala, etc. He apparently thinks no one has ever passed any immigration reform before.

Jacob Geers [9:31 PM]
Kasich: “Donald Trump is hitting a nerve, but….some of us have other solutions”

Jacob Geers [9:29 PM]
Donald’s last thing was pretty hilarious

Fox is going to force everyone to talk about Donald Trump all night

Daniel Hayes [9:29 PM]
So they're taking a break now

Daniel Hayes [9:29 PM]
So far, this seems really disjointed and not at all as funny as I'd hoped it would be.

Jacob Geers [9:26 PM]
Donald Trump’s evidence is that “border control people” say that the Mexican government is sending their “bad ones” over.

Trump just said “stupid” like 20x in a row.

Daniel Hayes [9:25 PM]
LMAO, i love his defense. “If you question me about proof you are dishonest.”

Build a wall with a door.

Jacob Geers [9:25 PM]
Donald Trump: “Nobody was talking about illegal immigration until me.”
^ oh really??

Jacob Geers [9:24 PM]
Will Donald Trump finally share his evidence of Mexico sending immigrants over??

Jacob Geers [9:24 PM]
Will Donald Trump finally share his evidence of Mexico sending immigrants over??

Daniel Hayes [9:24 PM]
pay a fine and do many thi…*dingding*

Daniel Hayes [9:24 PM]

Jacob Geers [9:24 PM]
only at the Fox News debate would the moderator ask an accusatory question to a Governor who believes illegal immigrants are good people (i.e. illegal immigration while bad, is an act of love)

Daniel Hayes [9:23 PM]
finally, a discussion of "illegals.” Let’s see how Jeb handles this question. Talking about a book he wrote. Don’t know that plugging a book is the best play here.

Daniel Hayes [9:23 PM]
Wow, the governor of Ohio is the only one with anything to brag about.

Jacob Geers [9:21 PM]
like, he hasn’t been campaigning that much since declaring

Jacob Geers [9:21 PM]
apparently he’s been having some problems finding the campaign trail?

Daniel Hayes [9:20 PM]
And his hair is magnificent.

Daniel Hayes [9:20 PM]
Rand Paul completely hates the GOP. I am convinced of this.

Jacob Geers [9:19 PM]
Mike Huckabee seems super interested in babies until the minute they are born and need food, clothing, and healthcare

Daniel Hayes [9:19 PM]
Huckabee is now for baby personhood. This isn't really a surprise.

Daniel Hayes [9:17 PM]
Darn it!

Daniel Hayes [9:17 PM]
Chris Christie: We're darn proud!

Daniel Hayes [9:16 PM]
Chris Christie, your state is screwed, why should anyone care what you say about anything? As if NO OTHER states are doing badly budget wise.

Jacob Geers [9:14 PM]
“I’ll be nice to you, even if I shouldn’t based on how you’ve treated me.” – The Donald is feisty

Daniel Hayes [9:11 PM]
Ted Cruz: I owed 100,000 in student loans just four years ago. #millennialproblems

Daniel Hayes [9:08 PM]
Trump and Paul nearly had a slapfight in the first 30 seconds when Trump wouldn't promise not to run as a third party candidate

Jacob Geers [9:08 PM]
Marco Rubio: lol this election isn’t a resume competition -> right after I talk about everything i’ve done in politics

Daniel Hayes [9:08 PM]
Ben Carson: Having a brain is important

Daniel Hayes [9:04 PM]
i'd be half drunk by now

Daniel Hayes [9:04 PM]
i feel like the drinking game should have included the words lebron james and cleveland cavaliers

Daniel Hayes [9:04 PM]
moderates seem to love him

Daniel Hayes [9:04 PM]
kasich is kind of an unknown

Jacob Geers [9:02 PM]

Jacob Geers [9:02 PM]

Daniel Hayes [9:01 PM]
oh wow, partnering with facebook

Daniel Hayes [9:01 PM]
"some combination of candidates”

Daniel Hayes [9:01 PM]
yeah, pumped

Jacob Geers [9:01 PM]
They are really overly excited about this maybe?

Daniel Hayes [9:01 PM]
let that declaration ring throughout history

Daniel Hayes [9:00 PM]

10 Reformed Playboys Reveal What Finally Made Them Start Respecting Women

Posted: 06 Aug 2015 05:30 PM PDT


1. “I'm one of those people who blossomed late in life. I was a virgin until 22. So when things started going well for me in the dating world (or, more accurately, the world of meaningless hook-ups), I was quick to take full advantage. I went from social reject to grade-A asshole in the matter of a few months as soon as I matured physically. I was the king of late-night booty calls and one-night stands—and sickeningly proud of it. But the night of my 27th birthday, I got syphilis. It was a real wakeup call. Syphilis is curable, thank every god out there, but it made me rethink my entire lifestyle. I cleaned up my act fast, and not just sexually. With a little introspection I realized I'd been a raging asshole for too long and that I'd have to do better if I wanted a shot at actually liking myself again."

— Brandon, 28


2. “Hard to believe, maybe, but my whole perspective changed from watching a twenty minute TED talk. It's by this guy Jackson Katz, who argues that 'women's issues' like violence against women are actually 'men's issues' too. I started off hate-watching it on this chick’s computer the morning after I banged her. But I quickly realized—to my own annoyance, at first—that the guy was making total sense. And that I was pretty much a jackass for being so conceited and acting as if I was entitled to sex just because I was a man or something. Katz made me see things clearly, suddenly, and now I actually identify as a feminist. Did I just say that out loud?”

— Gary, 36


3. “I've always been a decent looking guy, and I have a career in finance, so I earn a decent living. I say that now just to give you some context. The thing is, girls have always kind of thrown themselves at me. But you know how they say 'good on paper, bad in bed?' There's a reason for that. It took one night out with an awesomely honest, confident woman willing to deliver some hard truths for me to realize that I was a prick, and that I was bad at sex too. Talk about a blow to a man's ego. I was a wreck and a total hermit for a while afterwards, but when I came out of the funk, I was a nicer person and I actually bothered to learn how to treat (and please) a woman.”

— Kurt, 26


4. “For a long time, during every date I went on, I was 'thinking' with my dick the entire time. One night I was out with this hot brunette at an Italian restaurant, staring at her blankly as I imagined her on top of me, naked, tits bouncing up and down, when she asked me a question. Something simple, probably, but I didn't hear her because I was distracted by my own egocentric inner dialogue. When I didn't answer, she tilted her head, raised her eyebrows and said, 'Not worth it.' Then she got up and left! We hadn't even gotten our entrées yet. I was so shocked but I ran after her and I found myself apologizing for everything I'd been doing wrong. Somehow, she set me straight, and we're still together five years later. I only wish I could say sorry to all the other women I ignored or belittled before her.”

— Jorge, 31


5. "Thinking back on the way I treated women as a young adult, I can't believe I ever got laid. But I did. A lot. Then at 28, I got laid off from my job as an advertising exec. Walking home midday, in the depressingly empty streets, I realized that I had nothing. Sure, I had a few thousand dollars saved up, but I had no one to go home to. No one to vent to. No one to hold. I was alone, and it was my fault because I'd been such a dick for so long. I pledged to change my ways that day, and I did. If you don’t want to end up alone, you have to treat people the way they deserve."

— Ed, 34


6. “Picture it: A man walks into a club on a mission to pick up a woman, says whatever it takes to her to get her into bed, scores, wakes up, and does it all over again. That was me for years on end because I was a trust fund kid with no direction after graduating but plenty of time and money to spend going out at night. I was a legit womanizer. Until I met a woman who literally slapped me into rethinking things. I threw down some lame line and before I could take another sip of my vodka soda, her hand was smacking the flesh of my cheek. Funny thing is, I couldn’t blame her. I knew I deserved it. It's sad that that’s what it took for me to change my style, but I'm glad that I'm still young enough to be a respectable man for most of my life. I don’t go to clubs much anymore, and I’m in a serious relationship with someone I feel lucky to love.”

— Marty, 26


7. “I realize it’s frustrating when a man says that becoming the father to a daughter made him respect women more automatically. Because we shouldn't have to become parents to appreciate something as basic as equal rights. And yet, if I'm going to be honest, that is what did it for me. I impregnated someone I was seeing casually a few years ago and I was truthfully pissed as hell when she decided to have the baby. I wanted to keep on doing my thing, sleeping with multiple women at the same time without getting serious and without thinking about anyone’s feelings or the future. All that’s changed, thanks to my little girl and her mother. We're not together, but we co-parent really well and I'm a new man—a real man, you might say—thanks to those two.”

— TJ, 29


8. “My younger sister gave me the wake-up call I needed without even knowing it. I was a jerk to her and every other female who crossed my path throughout adolescence. Finally, my lil' sis couldn't take it anymore. Know what she did? She bugged my room and cybersnooped through my computer. Then she compiled this thorough report—some kind of serious CIA type shit—for our parents showcasing my misogyny. I was so humiliated and rattled and angry, but also kind of impressed, truthfully. I mean, she had some balls, my sister. Or should I say she 'had some vagina?' Anyway, I gradually reframed my attitude after that by limiting the amount of sexist porn I watched and adjusting the way I spoke about and to women. Sometimes you have to be shamed into being a better person. Sis and I are close, and I just decided to take my fiancée’s name once we’re married six months from now.”

— Henry, 32


9. “It makes me cringe to remember how rude I was to women as a young man. I would stand girls up if something or someone better came along in an instant, without explanation. I could tell you I was the captain of my high school's football team, but that seems like a lame excuse to become totally numb to human emotion for a decade. Anyway, what changed everything was the woman who's now my wife. She had no fear, and she told me on our third date that I was being an idiot and that I shouldn’t bother calling her again unless I planned to treat her with the respect she deserved. She shocked me into reconsidering my behavior. I'm so grateful she came along and bitch slapped me. Except that ‘bitch slapped’ isn’t something I say anymore. She humanized me, dude.”

— Justin, 27


10. “About two years ago, a gorgeous woman knocked on my front door. At first I didn't recognize her, but it was someone I'd dated once who had blossomed from an average looking college student into a confident, glamorous woman. She explained that she was confronting everyone who'd mistreated her in the past as part of the therapy she was undergoing. I was at the top of her list, and when she sat me down and explained how I'd made her feel by dismissing her back in the day (we'd been intimate a few times, until I threw her out of my dorm the morning she refused to give me head), I couldn't contain myself. I started crying. The next day, I started therapy myself to reform my approach to the female sex. I used to be a perpetual cheater but I can’t imagine doing that to a woman ever again. Therapy has definitely made me a better man.”

— Oliver, 25 TC mark

Sneakers, Not Heels: 9 Weirdly Simple Things Men Find Sexy

Posted: 06 Aug 2015 05:15 PM PDT

Mary McDonald 9

1. Cotton intimates are just as sexy. Satin underwear? Silk? We don’t need anything ornate. Cotton boy shorts from Target are just as sexy as that $200 pair of underwear from the expensive lingerie store.

2. All boobs are relevant. Mass media has painted a false picture. Sure, your average guy does love big breasts to the point of preoccupation. But we really do love all kinds of breasts. I’m sure 3/4 of guys would take a world of diverse breast sizes and configurations any day over a world where all women had huge breasts. Small, large, even saggy, we don’t just love big breasts; we love all breasts.

3. Most guys don’t care about expensive manicures. If you like nail art or crazy long acrylic nails, that’s fine it just makes no difference to men at all. We are indifferent to it. All men surveyed for this article said they find nail art to be a turnoff and prefer it when women keep it simple—either a nice basic color or just clean and natural cuticles.

4. Your quirks are the keys to our hearts. Typically when guys fall in love they end up falling in love with the one thing that is off about your personality or body. For instance, here are a few sample quotes from guys surveyed for this article talking about their favorite things about women:

“My girlfriend has the best sweat and BO during sex. The smell turns me on.”

“My wife has this amazing social awkwardness. Like, it's not some front or thing she does to appear cute. She's so clumsy socially and it makes me love her more.”

“This girl I went out with was not that physically attractive, but her noise was so cute that I just couldn’t help but melt into her.”

“I love a woman with out-of-control pubic hair.”

“My girlfriend has acne, even at 30. When we first started dating I sort of thought it was weird. After being together, though, it just feels like something that makes her even more special to me.”

5. Dirty hair? Men don’t care. Spending money on a blowout so that your hair looks “perfect” seems ridiculous when you can just go out as you are since we won’t even notice the difference. Or, better yet, wear braids. If you Google "Do guys think braids are sexy?" the first two results say we don't. This is nonsense, and let this article set the record straight. Guys definitely think braids are sexy. The clean and shiny blow-dried look is alluring but can also feel soulless and fake. Braids give your hair an interesting texture, and even the dirtiness exudes a raw sexual energy and a fun playfulness.

6. We have a positive perception of the female form. Although there are some bad apples out there that try to police women's bodies to make up for their own insecurity, most men don't even know what cellulite is, let alone care if you have it. Skinny, big, too tall, too short, unique face, a face that’s too normal—we tend to see things under a positive light and find it all appealing. In fact, more times than not we might find what you perceive as a flaw to be alluring instead.

7. Personality really, really matters. Men are unequivocally obsessed with looks. No one is going debate this point. Stereotypes, though, constantly underestimate how much personality really does filter the way men look at women. Highlights from my survey:

My. Fiancée. Has. The. Sexiest Voice and command of langauge. I’m in love with all of her, but her voice has these chords that are like magic to my ears and create this heavenly aura around her at all times.

“My wife has read Strangers in Paradise, and that’s everything to me.”

“I am a chill guy, smart, but not so ambitious, and what really made me fall for my girlfriend was how much she cared about her job and the art she does on the side. I feel like if you look at her and you don’t understand this part of her personality, you can’t even really see her.”

8. Sneakers can be sexier than high heels. High heels are obviously arousing. They elongate the legs, arch the back, and carry a strong connotation of sex. However, most guys are equally aroused by a girl wearing a dope pair of kicks as we are by you in Saint Laurent stilettos. The reasons are manifold, but in short it's relatable. We might not always understand the fashion logic behind your fancy high heels (unless they're "fuck-me heels"), but we can always appreciate the simple design of a Superga or a colorful pair of custom kicks from Adidas.

9.Simple clothes—not fancy dresses—make us want to marry you. Similar to sneaker fever, men fall hard for women who wear the most basic clothes. A tee and jeans or a simple dress bring out your body, not the fashion, and that makes our mouth water—but it also makes us feel closer to you. We don't want the artifice, we want you. TC mark

35 Serial Killers And Their Horrifyingly Creepy Last Words

Posted: 05 Aug 2015 06:04 PM PDT

1. "I don't care if I live or die. Go ahead and kill me."

Jeffrey Dahmer

Name: Jeffrey Dahmer, "Milwaukee Cannibal."
Crime: raped and killed 17 men and boys in the 1980s.
Punishment: beaten to death by a fellow inmate on November 28th, 1994.

2. “Hurrah for anarchy! This is the happiest moment of my life.”

George Engel

Name: George Engel
Crime: one of the four responsible for the 1886 Haymarket bombing in Chicago.
Punishment: hanged on November 11th, 1887.

3. "Tell me. After my head has been chopped off, will I still be able to hear, at least for a moment, the sound of my own blood gushing from the stump of my neck? That would be a pleasure to end all pleasures."

Peter Kürten

Name: Peter Kürten, "The Vampire of Dusseldorf.”
Crime: raped and killed (and once drank the blood) of almost 60 people.
Punishment: executed by guillotine on July 2nd, 1931.

4. "Hurry it up, you Hoosier bastard! I could hang a dozen men while you're screwing around!"

Carl Panzram

Name: Carl Panzram
Crime: infamous serial killer, arsonist, and rapist.
Punishment: hanged on September 5th, 1930.

5. "Okay Warden, let's do it. I love y'all. I can taste it already. I am starting to go."


Name: John Avalos Alba
Crime: fatally shot his wife while on bail for a child molestation charge.
Punishment: executed by lethal injection on May 25th, 2010.

6. "I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul."

Timothy McVeigh

Name: Timothy McVeigh
Crime: Oklahoma City bombing (killing 168 people in 1995).
Punishment: executed by lethal injection on June 11th, 2001.

7. “Turn up the radio and I’ll go quietly.”

Peter Manuel

Name: Peter Manuel, “The Beast of Birkenshaw.”
Crime: murdered and raped at least 7 people.
Punishment: hanged on July 11th, 1958.

8. “Freedom, freedom at last! It’s been a good one!”

john w rook

Name: John W. Rook
Crime: kidnapped and raped a hospital nurse before running her body over with his car.
Punishment: executed by lethal injection on September 20th, 1986.

9. "I'd like you to give my love to my family and friends."

Ted Bundy

Name: Ted Bundy
Crime: famous serial killer who raped and murderer an unknown number of women during the 1970s.
Punishment: executed by the electric chair on January 4th, 1989.

10. "I'd rather be fishing."

Jimmy Glass

Name: Jimmy Glass
Crime: escaped prison and killed Newton and Erlene Brown.
Punishment: executed by electric chair on June 12th, 1987.

11. "I'd just like to say I'm sailing with the rock, and I'll be back like Independence Day, with Jesus, June 6th. Like the movie, big mother ship and all. I'll be back."


Name: Aileen Wuornos
Crime: killed 7 men between the years 1989 and 1990.
Punishment: executed by lethal injection on October 9th, 2002.

12. "Let's do it!"

Gary Gilmore 2

Name: Gary Gilmore
Crime: murder
Punishment: executed by a firing squad on January 17, 1977.
***Fun fact: these last words were the inspiration for the Nike logo.

13. "How's this for a headline? 'French Fries.’"

James French

Name: James French
Crime: murder
Punishment: executed by electric chair on August 10th, 1966.

14. “An innocent man is going to be murdered tonight. When my innocence is proven, I hope Americans will realize the injustice of the death penalty as all other civilized countries have.”

Roger Coleman

Name: Roger Keith Coleman
Crime: convicted of murdering his sister-in-law.
Punishment: executed by electric chair on May 20th, 1992.

15. “I took a father, it wasn’t my fault, it was an accident … God knows the truth.” Shannon was smiling and humming as witnesses entered the death chamber. He told the Garza family that his smile was “not from happiness. If my life could bring your father back, then let it be. Don’t take my smile for disrespect.” Shannon said he was going to heaven. He said if he saw his victim, he would ask Garza for forgiveness. “I’ll say when I see him, ‘I’m sorry.'” He urged the relatives of his victim to “go home, have fun, smile. I’m happy. Why should I lie now. I have no anger. I have no fear.”


Name: Willie Shannon
Crime: murdered a grandfather while trying to steal his car.
Punishment: executed in a gas chamber on November 8th, 2006.

16. "Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel."

George Appel

Name: George Appel
Crime: killed a police officer.
Punishment: executed by electric chair in 1928.

17. "I did not get my Spaghetti-Os, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this."


Name: Thomas J. Grasso
Crime: murdered two people.
Punishment: executed by lethal injection on March 20th, 1995.

18. “Kiss my ass.”


Name: John Wayne Gacy, “Killer Clown.”
Crime: raped and murdered 33 men in a 6-year span.
Punishment: executed by lethal injection on May 10th, 1994.

19. “I have nothing to say.”

Amelia Dyer

Name: Amelia Dyer
Crime: thought to have murdered over 400 children.
Punishment: hanged on June 10th, 1896.

20. "Go Raiders!"

robert comer

Name: Robert Charles Comer
Crime: condemned killer and rapist.
Punishment: executed by lethal injection in 1988.

21. “Take a step forward, lads. It will be easier that way.”

Erskine Childers

Name: Erskine Childers
Crime: Irish patriot rebel.
Punishment: executed by a firing squad on November 24th, 1922.

22. “You sons of bitches. Give my love to Mother.”

Francis two gun

Name: Francis “Two Gun” Crowley
Crime: murderer and criminal
Punishment: executed in the electric chair in 1931.

23. “Good people are always so sure they’re right.”


Name: Barbara Graham
Crime: criminal and murderer.
Punishment: killed in the gas chamber on June 3rd, 1955.

24. “You can be a king or a street sweeper, but everyone dances with the Grim Reaper.”

Robert Alton Harris

Name: Robert Alton Harris
Crime: convicted of murdering two teenage boys.
Punishment: executed in the gas chamber on April 21st, 1992.

25. “I am innocent, innocent, innocent. Make no mistake about this. I owe society nothing. I am an innocent man and something very wrong is taking place tonight.”

Lionel Herrera

Name: Lionel Herrera
Crime: murdered two police officers.
Punishment: executed by lethal injection on May 12th, 1993.

26. “I love you, mom.”

clarence lackey

Name: Clarence Lackey
Crime: convicted of capital murder.
Punishment: executed by lethal injection on May 2nd, 1997.

27. “Capital punishment: them without the capital get the punishment.”


Name: John Spenkelink
Crime: murder
Punishment: executed in the electric chair on May 25th, 1979.

28. “Beam me up.”

Gary Burris

Name: Gary Burris
Crime: murder
Punishment: executed by lethal injection on November 20th, 2997.

29. “See you all on the other side. Warden, murder me … I’m ready to roll. Time to get this party started.”

James Jackson

Name: James Jackson
Crime: killed his wife and two step-daughters.
Punishment: executed by lethal injection on February 7th, 2007.

30. “Kathy, you know I never meant to hurt you. I gave you everything, and that’s what made me so angry. But I never meant to hurt you. I’m sorry.”

Carlos Granados

Name: Carlos Granados
Crime: stabbed his girlfriend Kathy Jiminez and killed her 3 year old son.
Punishment: executed by lethal injection January 10th, 2007.

31. “There is no way words can express how sorry I am for taking the lives of my babies. Now I can be with my babies, as I always intended.”

Christina Marie Riggs

Name: Christina Marie Riggs
Crime: killed her two young children.
Punishment: executed by lethal injection on May 3rd, 2000.

32. “My darling Gerti, my wife, I love you endlessly my honeybird. Till we meet again, stay strong. Love, Billy.”

william jones

Name: William Jones
Crime: murdered the man he was having a gay affair with.
Punishment: executed October on 20th, 2002.

33. “I understand the feelings of the Oestricker family, and I ask their forgiveness…I want to stress to them that I did not go down there that night to harm Jerry. I deeply regret how it turned out.”

James Chambers

Name: James W. Chambers
Crime: fatally shot Jerry Oestricker.
Punishment: executed on November 15th, 2000.

34. “I love you all, and I’m sorry for what I done. I’m sorry for killing your mom and what I done to you.”


Name: Rocky Barton
Crime: murdered his wife.
Punishment: executed by lethal injection on July 12th, 2006.

35. “I can’t really pinpoint where it started, what happened, but really believe that’s just the bottom line, what happened to me was in California. I was in their reformatory schools and penitentiary, but ah, they create monsters in there.”

David Long

Name: David Long
Crime: killed his three housemates.
Punishment: executed by lethal injection on December 8, 1999. TC mark

14 Things Only People Who Prefer Nonfiction Books Understand

Posted: 06 Aug 2015 04:02 PM PDT

"One of the paradoxes of writing is that when you write nonfiction everyone tries to prove that it's wrong, and when you publish fiction, everyone tries to see the truth in it." – Scarlet Thomas


1. You understand that truth and attempts to discover it – through the expression of nonfiction – is often an ingenious and creative process. While fiction sometimes gets the credit for being more “imaginative” than nonfiction, you hold firmly to the belief that truth is stranger than fiction.

2. You think of yourself as prizing “enlightenment,” over “entertainment.” It’s not that fiction books aren’t enlightening or nonfiction isn’t entertaining, it’s just that you prefer the idea of being educated on a specific topic in a direct way.

3. In some ways, you don’t like the predictability of a lot of fiction. Hero wins, villain loses, the difficult love always ends up together in the end, etc. While the possibilities really ought to be endless with fiction, nonfiction always seems to be more uncertain…in a good way.

4. Part of the reason why you read nonfiction is because you enjoy the accumulation of facts overall. Being more enriched in a particular subject matter that makes you feel powerful in a way that nonfiction just doesn’t do for you.

5. You tend to read fiction books long after they’ve been popular – mostly because you can’t stand the circus that usually revolves around them. There’s something about reading the same thing that everybody is reading and at the same time as everybody else, that turns you off.

6. You enjoy the direct application that you can make from the nonfiction genre. While fiction tends to stir you in terms of your emotional response, nonfiction tends to motivate you to make practical changes either to your thinking process or to a worldview that might have affected you in some shape or form.

7. You tend to think, rightly or wrongly, that nonfiction simply makes you smarter because it expands your understanding of a real-world concept. Even when you maintain your skepticism, you become aware of an additional viewpoint of the world that you might have not known before.

8. Although both nonfiction and fiction bring out the darkness and sadness of life, you find that the reality of nonfiction is not worse than fiction simply because it is true. But rather because of it, you are more inclined to be okay with the ugliness of life because it is simply a part of existence.

9. Because you often accumulate random facts about the world around you, you can make connections more easily between two seemingly disconnected events or subjects. And for all intents and purposes, it makes the conversations you have with people much more interesting.

10. You are always in a state of re-evaluating and re-assessing what you believe in. Because reading nonfiction – at least when you read a breadth of it – exposes you to a wide variety of arguments that sometimes causes you to modify your attitudes towards things.

11. Your ability to hold contradictory ideas is confusing to a lot of people. But to you, it improves your ability to perceive the world overall, and causes you to constantly be dissatisfied with your intellect. The consequence is positive though – you remain forever curious.

12. The way you see it, nonfiction is more challenging than fiction. Because while fiction asks you to think of things through the author’s eyes – nonfiction demands a change to your own eyes. This is a far more difficult task.

13. Fiction is your true pastime when it comes to reading. Your engagement with nonfiction is almost always intentional and enhancing. You treat it like you’re being taught in a classroom, and you find yourself researching and doing mental assignments on the subject matter that you’re currently involved with.

14. When it’s all said and done – preferring nonfiction makes you feel like more of a student of the world – trying to observe and make sense of everything around you. Indeed, people love fiction because they try to see their truth. But in nonfiction, the task is a journey of constantly seeking the truth. TC mark

11 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before Starting My Freshman Year Of College

Posted: 05 Aug 2015 10:09 PM PDT


1. It’s 100% okay to be nervous. Going to college can be a really scary thing, and there is absolutely, positively, no reason to feel bad about being a little skittish. Moving into your first dorm room; going to your first class, those are some BIG “firsts”. Take in things as you feel comfortable and give yourself the space you need. It will be awesome!

2. You should go out of your way to meet new people — especially at first. I am a natural introvert, so my gut instinct was to stick with my high school friends as much as possible. There is NOTHING wrong with keeping your high school friends around if you guys go to the same college, but the first few weeks are an awesome time to connect with new people who could impact your life in ways you’ve never even imagined! Get meals with people on your floor or in your classes, attend “welcome week” events and hang with as many people as you can. It will pay off!

3. Don’t be afraid to push yourself out of your comfort zone. Go to that party you are antsy about attending; ask out that cute guy you remember from orientation. College is a time of intense growth, and you can propel yourself to places you’ve never imagined by taking risks.

4. But don’t let other people bully you out it. Having friends that encourage you to “put yourself out there” are great, but don’t let people force you into doing something you straight up don’t want to do.

5. You don’t have to hookup. Not everyone in college is having mind-blowing sex. If hookups aren’t your thing, no problem, that’s YOUR choice! And if people are trying to make sex a prerequisite for “friendship” or being in the “cool group” they DEF are not worth your time.

6. But if do hookup, nobody should give a shit. Your body is your body. Don’t feel guilty about doing something you feel comfortable doing. There is no real limit to the amount of safe, consensual sex that you should have.

7. It is NORMAL to screw up. You might have a semester that doesn’t turn out so great academically, or you might have that night where you drink too much and embarrass yourself. It’s okay. I promise. Learn from your mistakes, take responsibility, and move on. You are an adult now, but you’re still new at all (hell, so am I).

8. You should never feel bad about “staying in” or finding alone time. College is such a hyperactive place, and living in a dorm means you are ALWAYS surrounded by people. If you need time to yourself, though, you should find it and enjoy it totally guilt free.

9. You owe it to yourself to keep an eye on your emotional wellness. College can be a really turbulent time, so don’t let yourself be consumed by anxiety or feelings of depression. I didn’t watch myself during my first semester and let some emotional health issues get out of control. Make sure you know your campus’ mental health resources and use them if you need to.

10. Going to office hours is about more than just a better grade. Like, naturally, talking to a professor about the class content can only help your grade, but attending office hours can also create an amazing professional connection. The instructor might be conducting research that you can get involved with, or possibly serve as a solid reference in the future.

11. Always wait for the first class before buying books (unless you 100% know you’ll need them). A lot of the times professors will list books but openly say the class is possible without them. You might have to battle long lines at the stores, but you could end up saving some serious dough. TC mark

8 Pivotal Jon Stewart Moments To Help Get You Through Life After ‘The Daily Show’

Posted: 06 Aug 2015 08:00 PM PDT

The Daily Show
The Daily Show

Left-wing or right-wing, you absolutely cannot deny the monumental cultural presence The Daily Show has held over the past 16 years. The Daily Show morphed into a prophetically genius source of political news and influence, to the point where Liberals trust it more than networks like MSNBC.

Jon Stewart’s legacy will undoubtedly be eulogized forever—his anchoring capabilities (which includes a lot of shouting, flailing, and unrestrained mockery) canonized a number of viral interviews and even influenced major political decisions.

Stewart has been referred to as the new aged Walter Cronkite for millennials, with The Daily Show shaping how we think about and read the news.

Luckily, this internet thing seems to be sticking around, so we’ll forever have access to the best of Jon Stewart—whether it be hilariously cringeworthy, poignantly depressing, or both.

1. When he reinvented himself as a legitimate hub of American politics by mocking “Indecision 2000.”

2. When he proved himself as more than just a “funny guy” through his touching 9/11 monologue.

3. When he and Stephen Colbert solidified their statuses as millennial icons by putting on the Rally To Restore Sanity And/Or Fear.

4. When he called out CNN’s Crossfire for being an example of media not effectively covering news.

His criticisms of the show (made while he was on the show) were actually a big factor to why Jonathan Klein, the president of CNN at the time, ended up canceling Crossfire.

5. When he dedicated a whole episode to shaming senators who voted against the 9/11 First Responders Healthcare Bill…

…which resulted in the bill moving forward in the Senate.

6. When he ripped into Fox News for promoting false narratives about the Ferguson protests.

7. When he gave one of the most legendary interviews ever, with Malala Yousafzai, and it essentially broke the internet.

8. When he conveyed his sentiments towards Fox News with the help of a gospel choir.

7. When he introduced two of today’s biggest comedians to the world: Stephen Colbert and Steve Carell.

8. When he unleashed scorn towards Jim Cramer over the financial media’s coverage of the 2009 economic collapse.

We’ll miss you, Jon Stewart. Thank god there’s still John Oliver. TC mark

29 Hilarious Schmidt Quotes That Will Automatically Make You 17.9% Sassier

Posted: 05 Aug 2015 06:46 PM PDT

New Girl
New Girl

1. "I'm not being overdramatic when I say I would rather sit naked on a hot grill than wear something off the rack."

2. “She has a flip phone, Jess. She’s either poor or a time traveller.”

3. “Now as my best friend I expect you to be willing to sacrifice everything for me at a moment's notice including, of course, unfortunately for you, your dignity."

4. “I don’t have sperms. I have tadpoles…of the gods.”

5. “Where do you even buy sheets like this? They have the thread count of a paper towel.”

6. “Man to man, you didn’t wanna wear something, I dunno, a little more form flattering? You know, like a pile of towels? The number 8?”

New Girl
New Girl

7. “Being brown, you have the wisdom of a thousand white women.”

8. “It’s like you’re ripping the side block out of my mental Jenga! I’m totally falling apart!”

9. “Well, you have found my flabbergast button, and guess what? You’ve pressed it.”

10. “If pot were a piano, Nick would be a 9-year-old Chinese girl.”

11. “It makes me angry and scared all at the same time. Just like when I hear the phrase, ‘Academy Award winner Anna Paquin.'”

12. “Walk with dignity, you giant toddler!”

New Girl
New Girl

13. “I haven’t had sex with her since I was fat, and accessing my penis was like getting a remote control out of the couch.”

14. “You’re listening to the radio and writing with a pen… What decade are we in?”

15. “I’m gonna go take a shower with Nick’s bar of soap like a common ranch hand.”

16. “It was like listening to a rescue crew trying to communicate with a stranded miner. Are you ok? Yeah. Are you ok? Yeah!”

17. "I can't talk right now. I'm writing a strongly worded e-mail to my florist."

18. “Without ash to rise from, the phoenix would just be a bird getting up.”

19. “You were denied a cell phone because you have the credit score of a homeless ghost!”

20. “Back in high school, they used to call me ‘the sex haver’.”

New Girl
New Girl

21. “Hey, M. Night Shyamalan. I’ve got a twist ending for you: shut up!”

22. “Let’s just say that my cousin doesn’t have the most sophisticated palate. Raised by wolf-like parents in the wilds of Minnesota. He actually went to juvie for stealing the synagogue’s minivan.”

23. "Would you line up around the corner if they called the iPhone a slippery germ brick?"

24. “Is this a freakin’ carob chip? What, are you trying to buy our love with hippie chocolate?! Ya idiot.”

*tosses cookie*

25. “Do you just walk around all day thinking about other people’s feelings? How do you get anything done?”

26. “You are a gynecologist and a lesbian. This makes you a va-genius.”

New Girl
New Girl

27. "Damn it! I can't find my driving moccasins anywhere."

28. "Bathtubs are Medieval filth cauldrons… I’m not interested in simmering in testicle tea for 20 minutes."

29. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go water my succulents." TC mark