Thought Catalog

14 Surprisingly Good Horror Movies You Can Watch On Netflix Right Now

Posted: 04 Aug 2015 04:18 PM PDT

I love horror movies. WOAH big shocker there, right? A horror author who loves horror movies, who’da thought. Anyway, even though I know there are some people out there who are essentially horror snobs — in that they only watch or enjoy the best of the best — and that’s one way to do it. But me, I like to experience it all. That’s why Netflix streaming is a beautiful divine gift from the gods and I love it so much I wish I could give it a hug.

Barring the terrifying less-than-one-stars that are prevalent throughout the category, I dabble in most of what Netflix has to offer in horror. And you know what? There are some real gems hiding out there! So that’s why I gathered them all here in a neat little pile — so you don’t have to search endlessly for a decent horror flick.

Walk with me, will you?

The Houses October Built

The Houses October Built
The Houses October Built

Fair warning here: you’re going to see a lot of found footage in this list. Why? BECAUSE I FRIGGIN LOVE IT. I don’t know what happened to this genre in the last 10 years but between “The Blair Witch Project” and now filmmakers have really stepped up their game. What used to be a lazy excuse to swing a camera around and scream has evolved into something far more interesting.

ANYWAY. Halloween is my jam (durrrr of course it is) and “The Houses October Built” is perfect to watch during that time of year because it’s all about a trip in October where five friends set out in an RV, cameras in hand, to explore the country in search of “extreme” haunted houses. They visit a handful and interview the workers, which — if any of this footage is real — is almost scarier than the plot itself. (What do you MEAN you don’t do background checks on the people I paid to terrify me in dark, tight spaces?!)

But the real hunt is for the most elite extreme haunted house of all: one so exclusive you need to follow a trail of clues and passwords to even find it. Sounds like a great idea, right? OF COURSE NOT IT’S A HORROR MOVIE YOU SILLY GOOSE.

This one is made all the better by the realistic dialogue and banter between the cast, not to mention that when they go through the haunts with their cameras it’s like a first-person experience — you’re going through, too, and oh BOY does it make me want it to be Halloween nowwwww.

ABCs of Death 2

ABCs of Death 2
ABCs of Death 2

Yeah, that’s 2, not the original, and there’s good reason for that. The first one was all sorts of garbage, kind of like the filmmakers didn’t take it seriously, but the second one is a big improvement.

“ABCs of Death 2” is an anthology (another of my favorite horror movie genres) made up of 26 different directors from all over the world. Each was given a letter, they chose a word and made a short horror film based around that word. Innovative, different — I love it.

They range from hilarious to terrifying to INCREDIBLY dark. (Jesus Christ, what even HAPPENS in “Z is for Zygote”?) My personal favorite is “R is for Roulette”, chiefly because it takes such a small amount of time/material/dialogue and tells a much larger story.

It’s a fun movie to watch with other horror fans because you can discuss each one as you go. Give it a chance, you won’t regret it!

The Den

The Den
The Den

Here’s another found footage movie — but it’s not found footage in the traditional sense, it’s more millennial-era-Apple-fueled found footage. It focuses on Liz, a young woman conducting an experiment to speak with as many people as possible through a random webcam site called The Den (a thinly-veiled parody of Chat Roulette, even though she doesn’t see nearly the amount of dicks as would be expected).

Things turn south quickly when a woman who claims her webcam is broken continues to stay in contact with Liz; suddenly her webcam turns on and Liz sees her brutally murdered. What follows is a nightmarish turn of events that actually had me pretty terrified. Why do I INSIST on watching these things alone in the dark?

The most interesting thing about “The Den” is HOW they utilize technology to tell the story. Everything goes through either a smartphone, a computer, GoPro technology, you name it… and the transition between them is pretty flawless. It’s such a great idea and probably why “Unfriended” promptly ripped it off. (cough cough)

The Babadook

The Babadook
The Babadook

This one isn’t as much “surprisingly good” as it is “of course I had to include it”. “The Babadook” was the horror darling of 2014, one of those elusive unicorns that proves just because horror is a genre full of crap doesn’t mean there can’t be a truly excellent horror film — and a truly excellent film in general.

“The Babadook” is about Amelia, a widow raising her troubled young son Samuel. One night he finds a pop-up book on his shelf and asks his mother to read it to him. The book is disturbing; it tells the story of the monster called Mister Babadook. Once you let him in, you can’t escape him.

Rightfully this scares the shit out of Samuel, who’s already a handful as is. But shortly after, weird stuff starts happening around the house and Samuel blames Mister Babadook. Of course it gets worse from there.

The direction in “The Babadook” is incredible (yay females in horror!) and the cinematography is fantastic. Within the first five minutes of the movie you HAAAAATE this kid right along with his stressed-out mom, and that’s the mark of a good film. If you haven’t already seen this one just GO DO IT RIGHT NOW please and thank you sorry I yelled.

Jug Face

Jug Face
Jug Face

“Jug Face” really surprised me, honestly. The title is intriguing but I probably saw it on my Netflix suggested row about 15 times before finally giving it a chance. I’m glad I did, however, because it’s a really interesting concept. If I had to give it a genre I’d call it “backwoods gothic horror”.

In a rural swamp-like community, Ada lives with her family who worships a pit with healing powers that contains a monster. She also has sex with her brother and makes very poor decisions (maybe I should’ve swapped those two).

The pit needs sacrifices, however, to keep the members of the community safe from the monster within. Basically, a man named Dawai creates jugs made from clay while in a trance. The jugs all end up with faces of members of the community and the person chosen must be the sacrifice.

Well, back to the bad decisions Ada makes, because she finds a new jug with her face and hides it. I mean, I get it, who wants to be monster-munchies but that sets off a whole domino effect of bad shit and… well, just watch for yourself. I’m so glad I live somewhere with wifi.

The Taking of Deborah Logan

The Taking of Deborah Logan
The Taking of Deborah Logan

I won’t spoil anything for you but this movie is the source of what is probably the creepiest gif on the Internet. “The Taking of Deborah Logan” is about a film crew doing a documentary on Alzheimer’s, the subject of which being the titular Deborah Logan. She doesn’t really want to participate but she and her daughter need the money so she goes through with it. What follows is a both heartbreaking and terrifying descent into madness.

Unsettling, strange, and well-shot, this one is a great found footage standard to watch on a boring Sunday afternoon. Also, it’s one of the few that made me yell “HOLY SHIT” and scare my dog off the couch.



I watched “Creep” most recently because OH MY GOD A FIVE STAR HORROR MOVIE ON NETFLIX THAT’S NOT “THE BABADOOK” WHAAAAAT! Another found footage beauty, Aaron answers an ad on Craigslist for a day’s worth of filming. At a vacation home in the woods, he meets Josef, who has hired him for the job.

Here’s what makes “Creep” so great: from the first moment you meet Josef, something is off, but you’re not sure. It’s not so much “bitch get out the house” vibe, but it’s enough to give you… THE CREEPS AAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHA

Sorry. Anyway, one of the most interesting things about “Creep” is the fact that everyone knows at least one person like Josef. I mean, maybe not to the full extent of what happens in the film, but we’ve all met someone that just feels off. Maybe they touch your arm too much or start inappropriate conversations but to ignore them or avoid them seems cruel, like you’re the one being rude. I don’t know. It’s just a very well-executed idea and I’m super happy to hear that it’s rumored to be a trilogy. Hooray! More “Creep” please!

Starry Eyes

Starry Eyes
Starry Eyes

“Starry Eyes” was a Kickstarter darling that’s a little hard to describe even though I think it’s fantastic. Let me try: Sarah wants to be famous, has shitty friends, there’s lots of body horror and gross-out moments but all-in-all it works. I actually watched it because one of my favorite authors, Chuck Palahniuk, kept tweeting about the project. And it makes total sense — this is right up his alley.

I don’t want to get too into the plot as it would spoil things but watch “Starry Eyes” if you’re looking less for jump scares or gore and more deep, somber horror. Good one for a rainy day.

All Cheerleaders Die

All Cheerleaders Die
All Cheerleaders Die

Lucky McKee is one of my favorites in the genre and he produced/wrote/directed the delightful “All Cheerleaders Die”. It’s just a fun romp, honestly — scary in places, hilarious in others, and the soundtrack is really fantastic. (Side note: “Look Out Young Son” by Grand Ole Party is now required to be played every time I enter a room.)

After the untimely death of her friend Alexis, Maddy joins the cheerleading squad (much to the dismay of her ex-friend Leena). She becomes part of their popular group while Leena, your typical Wiccan Goth outsider, watches from afar. But in case you can’t tell from the title the cheerleaders don’t fare too well in this movie, and it only gets crazier from there.

I feel like this one would be a great movie to watch with friends and invent a drinking game. Take a drink when you see panties! Take a drink when there’s a sick cheerleader burn! Take a drink when someone dies a horrible gory death! See, there’s a fun time to be had by all.

Grave Encounters

Grave Encounters
Grave Encounters

Funny story, I actually avoided watching “Grave Encounters” for a long time because the title screen looked like a cheap ripoff of the television show “Ghost Adventures”. Turns out it is — sort of — but while it does begin with a quite excellent parody of Zak Bagans (oh I just love you with your little gelled up hair and impossibly tight t-shirts and your penchant for calling ghosts “bro”) it quickly avalanches into a really scary found footage favorite.

The Grave Encounters team goes to an abandoned mental institution with a dark past (just like you’d see on “Ghost Adventures”) intending to do an overnight lockdown. However, unlike on “Ghost Adventures”, you see behind the scenes that the team doesn’t expect to find anything and are more than prepared to fake their way through an investigation. One of my favorite parts is when the Zak Bagans wannabe asks a landscaper if he’d ever seen a ghost; the gardener, with the last of the team’s petty cash in his pocket, points vaguely in one direction and says “Yes. Over there.”

But guess what, the asylum has other plans. When their lockdown is over, one of the crew members notices that while his watch reads 6am it’s still pitch dark outside. And also there’s no exit. And also HOLY FUCK SO MANY GHOSTS!

Watch this one in the dark. For real. It’s intense, the reactions are realistic, and while there are quite a few jump scares they’re actually well-executed. I made my husband watch it last summer for my birthday and he’s still mad at me for it.

Dead End

Dead End
Dead End

Oddly enough I found “Dead End” from a YouTube video about little-known good horror movies after finding “Grave Encounters” and looking for more high quality films. The Harringtons are on a road trip to visit relatives for Christmas and it’s going just about as well as most stressful Christmas road trips go. And then things get much worse.

Frank, the patriarch, falls asleep while driving and nearly crashes head-on into another car. When they stop and get out there’s no one to be seen — no other car, no people, nothing. Then the Woman In White shows up and everything goes straight to hell.

Between the supernatural scares and the terrifying reality of traveling with your family, “Dead End” is a solid early 2000s horror movie that I consider one of my go-tos when I’m bored and need to kill some time.

The Sacrament

The Sacrament
The Sacrament

I’ll be the first to admit I’m not a huge fan of Ti West. While I can obviously see that he’s bringing his A-game to the genre, most of his films just feel listless and rambling to me. There’s all this boring buildup, a huge crescendo, and then it falls flat.

Not with “The Sacrament”. Another found footage goodie, we travel with Patrick and his coworkers to Eden Parish, a drug-free utopian community accessible only by helicopter. Patrick’s sister Caroline has invited him out to do a story on their commune, ruled by a man they call Father. Cult City, population: you.

The pacing in “The Sacrament” is great and there’s a constant undercurrent of uneasiness. The man who plays Father just absolutely nails the charismatic cult-leader and had me googling Jim Jones and Jonestown for like four hours after I watched it. I can’t wait to see more from Ti West after this one, and I mean that.

V/H/S 2

V/H/S 2

It’s no secret that the VHS films are my favorite horror series (mostly because I won’t shut up about it). 1 and 3 are both fairly solid but 2 stands out to me in terms of consistency. If you don’t already know, the VHS series consist of found footage anthology pieces, separate stories found on VHS tapes. As I said before, found footage and anthology are my two favorite ways to do horror, so this is perfection for me.

I don’t want to spoil any of the segments so just watch for yourself. My favorite is definitely “Safe Haven” — you could do an entire movie on that part alone. Wait, what is it with me and cults lately? Did I join a cult on accident? I’ll get back to you on that.



“Mockingbird” is one of those great movies that ties together three different stories in the best way. Three different groups — The Family, The Woman, The Clown — all receive a camera on their doorstep along with a message stating they must complete a series of challenges in order to win a prize.

As you may have guessed, this is not good.

It’s so interesting to see the story unfold because it’s never in the way you think; portions of each story end up making sense in another and it’s just a very clever way to keep the viewer guessing. You watch, knowing these people are spiraling towards something awful, but neither you or them can stop it. Just enjoy it as it happens and be glad it’s happening to someone that’s not you. TC mark

‘She Took My Pants Off And Said *Wow*’ And 19 Other Real Sex Stories To Read In Bed This Weekend

Posted: 18 Sep 2015 08:00 AM PDT



I was lazing in bed one Sunday morning with my SO. We’re lightly fooling around and chatting about sex. I love nipple stimulation and mention how I liked them squeezed really hard. We get an idea and he nips downstairs to the kitchen abd comes back with two different types of clothes pegs. We try the wooden ones first but they hurt too much, the plastic ones still cause intense pain but I can just about take it. We’re lying next to each other and I’m feeling pretty good about being able to take it when I notice that I’m insanely turned on, I mention this to him and he slips his hand down there to check for wetness. I’m soaked!

He immediately gets the hardest boner ever. Feels like I can barely get my hand around it. He tries to finger me but I can’t wait. I throw him on the bed and jump on his magnificent cock. I cum almost immediately, really hard. Hard enough to push him out of me but I’m on top so I use my bodyweight to keep him in. I can feel my pussy contracting around him, he has this huge grin on his face. Almost as soon as I finish orgasming I’m aware of the clamping pain on my nipples, it sets me off again so I fuck him a bit more. It takes virtually nothing before I cum again. Over and over I repeat this cycle, I cum five times in five minutes. It’s insane, my body has become some kind of orgasm machine. I can’t take any more and ask him to take the pegs off me. Bloody hell that hurts!

I lay down to recover while he massages my poor abused titties with this dopey ear to ear grin on his face. I needed a bit of time to compose myself but then fair’s fair I suck him off until he cums (it doesn’t take long, he was so turned on). Afterwards we lay in each other’s arms wallowing in our love for each other.


Enthusiasm. I once hooked up with a girl who had it in spades. When I replay that night over in my head there’s not really anything physical about her or the sex that stands out.

But, my god. This woman was enthusiastic. She made me feel like a God damn porn star from the moment when she got my pants off and said “oh wow” to later when she was saying shit like “your cock is so deep inside me.”

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t consider myself to be anywhere near a sexual God our anything, but this girl sure made me feel that way.


I had a short term relationship with a girl I met through some mutual friends. My girlfriend at the time approved of me having sex on the side for a little fun while she was out of the country.

This girl just had an INSANE amount of fun doing everything. She actually acted like she was not only enjoying it, but having FUN every moment of everything that was happening. She was riding me like I was a swingset, smiling the whole time. We told jokes to each other. When we were done, we talked about fun times we’d had and sex with other people. Then we fucked again.

Three weeks.

After that we moved to different states and remained great friends over Facebook. When I met her new boyfriend, we all joked about how loud she was in bed.

That was as close as I’ve ever been to a poly relationship. Being with a girl who really showed that she not only enjoyed the sex but was also having FUN was awesome.

She enjoyed sex because she found it fun, not just pleasurable, and she showed that she did. Many girls in my experience enjoy it but are either more reserved, or more intense during the act, and not so much constantly smiling.

4. The Optimistic Guy

The best sex I’ve ever had was with a guy who, in every aspect of his life, was so optimistic and enthusiastic about everything. He made me feel, like you said, like a fucking porn star. It was incredible and he made me feel so comfortable and confident. We were just kind of in between dating and FWB because we were both moving 4000 miles away in opposite directions six months from the day we met, but I don’t think I’ll ever forget sex with him. It makes me happy to think about, and I’ve been able to carry what I loved about sex with him into my other sexual relationships.


We were on the edge of a bluff that skirted a closed golf course in Whangarei, New Zealand. On acid. It happened because we got turned on by the waves, crashing into the rocks below. It was a night with a full moon, and the water seemed to be made of black latex. The waves would rhythmically slam into the hard, black granite. Making a sucking, slurping sound as it drew back, leaving gentle frothy licks before suddenly plunging into the rocks for more. We simultaneously decided that we needed to fuck. Immediately. I pulled her pants off and ate her for a while, before slowly entering. It was definitely the acid… but that night, I felt like I finally understood her vagina. I could feel gestures and contractions that seemed to happen almost autonomously. We’ve been having sex for over a year and a half, but this time I felt like I was really getting to know its texture and personality. At one point, it felt like our respective parts had blended, and we were stirring a mystic soup.


My SO and I have been together off and on for 3 years now. I was sexually abused by my stepdad when I was younger and have a lot of insecurities when it comes to sex with guys. It’s something we’ve been working on our whole relationship. I’ve never been able to get out of my head.

But about 2 months ago, something just changed. I stayed the night, which wasn’t unusual, and we started kissing and touching each other. But this time it was just so sensual and intense. I don’t know what changed or where it came from.

He ate me out for a solid 20 minutes and by the end I was shaking uncontrollably. I sucked his dick until he came and I swallowed, which I haven’t done in a long time.

I got on top of him and rode his dick for the longest I ever have, I honestly lost track of time. I didn’t have to stop and rest, I just kept going and going. We were both drenched in sweat, making it much easier for me to grind on him.

I squirted for the first time when I was on top of him. I’ve since learned that it’s easy for me to recognize the angle that he needs to hit for me to squirt, but I can never distinguish when it’s actually happening. I honestly don’t know how many times I squirted but it was everywhere.

He pushed me off and laid me down, pulling my legs over his head. He fucked me hard for a few minutes and I squirted more- I don’t know how many times still. We couldn’t sleep on the bed that night and it was still wet when we woke up early the next afternoon.

Our sex life has vastly improved since that night, but I’ve still never squirted that many times or that much again.

7. She Woke Me Up At 4AM

My girl came over with all intentions of just passing out all night. (She was working a very shitty job at the time) So she gets there and we cuddle and go to sleep, next thing I know she’s waking me up at 4 am because she’s horny. Things get hot and heavy and we get a little rough like normal, and then out of nowhere she grabs my neck and starts squeezing and at first I freak out, but then I realize I love it, and we keep going till we both finish at the same time. And then proceed to pass out and sleep till 1 pm.


For Valentine’s Day two years ago, my SO and I decided to rent a hotel room for a day-long sex marathon. We went crazy that day, just fucking on every surface of the room. The highlight though was him tying me spread-eagle on top of one of the tables in my school girl outfit I wore for him, and opening the curtains of the room so I could be “exposed” to the high rise office building that was across from the hotel. That element of exhibitionism while he fucked me raw was absolutely amazing. It was also the first time we tried some more intense BDSM stuff like choking and gagging me with my panties. It was so incredibly amazing, and now we’ve made it a tradition to spend Valentine’s Day at a hotel every year.


A friend and I were spending a lot of time together one summer- cute dates (picnics, going to the zoo, movies, dinner, you name it), late nights, and long talks… we had kissed, and were rarely found not holding hands or walking arm-in-arm. One night we were at my place, watching a movie and it started to pour- an immediate torrential downpour.

She turns to me, kisses my cheek and whispers in my ear “let’s go outside”, gets up and gently tugs at my hand, pulling me outside. We run around in the rain, barefoot and soaked- after a couple of minutes, we decide we’re too cold and have to go back inside, but we stop in front of the walkway and kiss for a good long while before going inside.

Inside, we’re both sopping wet- soaked through to the bone. I suggest we change into something dry, and she coyly replies “why not just get out of it?” So… we do- our clothes left by the door, she wraps herself around me and I walk us up to my bedroom where we proceed to have the most amazing, loud, passionate sex until the sun comes up.

Afterwards, my back was positively covered in scratch marks, and we both had hickeys everywhere. We ended up going over to a friend’s house that night to swim and then drink outrageously, and we had the same sex again that night- practically the whole week was spent relaxing and going out during the day and then wildly screwing each other at night.


Mine was very recently with my SO.

I had my fair share of partners during college etc but the first time my SO and I slept together he immediately shot to the number one spot.

So he was away for a wedding, when he got back he had a friend staying with him, his friend was sleeping in his bed, he and I were on his sofa-bed.

We were cuddling and he was buzzed and not really sleepy. He asked if I wanted to spoon I said sure, he pressed his hard cock right up on my ass. I started grinding against it. He said he didn’t want to have sex in case his friend heard us so I started licking his cock instead. He stopped me and started teasing my tits.

Usually I like kinda rough stimulation, biting my nipples HARD, but this time he just went so slowly and so gently, it drove me crazy!! After maybe 10-15 mins of having my tits teased like that I couldn’t take it anymore.

I begged him to fuck me and he obliged. As we weren’t on a proper bed or anything we could only really do missionary but it was intense and so loving and just… Wow!!


The best sex I ever had was in college with a FWB. She came over to fuck like she normally does. Making out, I went to the drawer to pull out a condom but forgot we used the last condom the last time we fucked. I told her I didn’t have a condom. We continued making out (her on top) while she grinded her pussy on my cock. At some point, she sank down on it. We fucked for a LONG time! Against the wall. Bent her over the bed. Bent her over the desk. Missionary. In the window. Everywhere. Back to the bed with her on top I was ready to cum. I told her I was going to cum. She started riding me harder. I said again I was going to cum. She started long stroking my cock – lifting up until just the head was in her pussy then sinking down. I went to grab her hips to get her off me. She grabbed my wrists and pinned them to the sides of my head while she rode my cock. I came HARD in her pussy! It was the first time I ever came inside a woman before. It was the greatest orgasm I had to that date.

I’ve had some good ones, but this one I will remember forever.


I had my first threesome one night (me, SO, and friend), up until the wee hours of the morning at the friend’s place.That was awesome and mind opening and beautiful but it’s not my best. My best time was the morning after the threesome when my SO and I were alone again: it was just missionary but it was so incredibly passionate and urgent and connected that it blew my mind even more than the amazing threesome. It was like some new, deeper connection had been made between us after that night and manifested itself as mind-exploding sex.


When I was 18 I was at a house with a circle of fracquaintances. Of all the people there, I knew him the least; we had had a few conversations previous, but nothing indicated that he was into me, so to speak.

There was a general “keep up” drinking contest in which I was of course participating, so by my 4th beer inside of an hour and a half (I was about 5’2″, 130lbs. at the time), I was drunk but not too drunk. More like at that wonderfully happy, invincible stage.

I had gone downstairs for a smoke and was climbing a set of stairs to the side room where we were chilling, and he was coming down. We met about halfway, stopped, and just looked at each other.

I said hi.

He said hi.

He slams me into the wall and begins kissing me, forcefully, without any of the sloppy drunkenness or inexperience I had come to expect from my peer group (although he has 3 years on me, so that helped). We run to his room and the door slams behind me. I say something like, “You know I’m not just going to have sex with you,” and he responds with something like, “Oh I know,” and then I’m up against the wall again, wrapping my legs around him (he’s only slightly taller than me and very muscular so we had great angles for all of this), then he threw me on the bed, went down on me while wrapped around my legs so I couldn’t escape, even after I had already cum twice and was kicking like crazy. I sucked his dick to a hardness heretofore unknown to humankind. Then we fucked in multiple positions for the next hour. We were interrupted at some point by people just walking in, but continued regardless, like the troopers we are.

This particular session was my first indication that I wanted to be dominated in bed, that the last thing I wanted was someone tenderly stroking my hair and asking me if I’m okay every 5 seconds. This was hot and spontaneous and just fucking brilliant.


One night my friend and his girlfriend ask me to go bowling one night, I decide to get out of the apartment, and they invited a friend along. It was a friend of the girlfriend’s who wanted to get out of the house too, she was someone I had met I think briefly once before, but only in passing. We all went bowling, and throughout the night I kept finding myself checking out the girl’s ass when she went up there. When she’d come back I’d kinda half assed put my arm on the back of the chair kinda around her but only lightly flirted.

Fast forward to the end of bowling, we all decide to come back to my apartment to watch a movie, my friend and his girlfriend are on one end of the couch, and me and the girl were kinda near the other (not cuddling, or anything). About 20 minutes into the movie I decide what the hell and put my hand on her upper thigh, to which she covers with her hand. At this point there’s insane sparks. About 5 minutes pass and then I just turn to her, she turns to me, and we start making out like teenagers. My friend didn’t notice really, and his girlfriend was all but asleep in his lap. I whispered to the girl “want to move this to my bedroom” to which she stands up and walks right to.

I follow her with about a 5 second lag time, and when I get to the bedroom she’s already laying on her back with her pants off. She asks if I have a condom and it’s on. This girl was the most enthusiastic woman I’ve ever experienced in bed, I was throwing her into all different positions, and she was squealing with delight in every one. What made it extra special is that she was the first girl I had ever been with that had her pubic hair completely waxed, which made going down on her the most pleasurable time I’ve ever had doing that for someone.

Then we turn the tables and she decides to go down on me, which typically isn’t the easiest thing to get me off from, however she was AMAZING, my moans seemed to be a treasure map for her to follow, as she always took my breathing and grunts as cues to what was good, and what was amazing! Then it came time for me to come, at which point I informed her of this(because I had never been with a girl that swallowed before and that’s common courtesy), to my surprise, she doubled her efforts and made me come harder than I had ever come before right into her mouth which she promptly swallowed with pride.

I was astonished at this whole series of events. However while we had been going at it for a good 30-45 minutes including foreplay and penetration, she hadn’t come yet (which she seemed to be ok with). I then asked her if she’s able to come while masturbating, and she said yes. So I grabbed her hand and guided it down to her still wet slit and started helping her rub it slowly, once she started getting a rhythm going I started to also masturbate with her in sync, while also kissing her all over, caressing her magnificent breasts, and occasionally helping her rubbing. After about 5 minutes, we both came with a powerful orgasm at the same time. She turned to me and said “that was fucking hot!” After that both of us just laid there coming down from some of the most unexpected, statically charged sex.

After that night I found out that my friend and his girlfriend had been hearing the girl’s moaning and noises, and felt pretty uncomfortable so they left. To this day, that was the hottest, and best sex of my life. And the sad part is after that night, we never saw each other again although we’re still friends on Facebook.


I would go out on walks to a local park with this guy that I had been seeing for a while, and one time we sat down and he started rubbing my upper thigh – there were only a few people in the park, no one was paying attention.

We would also have sex in his apartment in front of windows with the blinds half-open and I’d be like “what if someone sees us?” and he’d say not to worry, but I think he loved the thought of people watching.

This escalated until one day, while we were out walking, we considered having sex outside. We looked around, scoping out a good spot until we found a semi-wooded area behind an apartment complex.

I was holding on to a cement block for dear life. I was bent over, and he was taking me from behind. The cement kind of hurt but I couldn’t feel anything at that point besides his dick behind me. He reached forward to grab my throat and squeeze until I could barely breathe.

I don’t think I’ve ever come as hard as that time. I loved the risk.


The best sex I’ve had to date was with my boyfriend, about a week and a half ago. Necessary background: he’s clinically depressed and has a very low libido, I have a high one but haven’t been as energetic due to stress and such. So sex doesn’t come along very often, and when it does, I usually mess it up for myself by thinking of stressful things. We were watching some vampire skin flick from the 90s, and cuddling. He was very affectionate, holding me very tightly… Until midway through the movie, at which point he pauses and announces that he’d like to eat me out.

Who am I to argue? His technique was gorgeous as always, and after about 10 mins of that, we settle back in and start the movie again, except now I’m all riled up. I start stroking him, nuzzling him. Not long after, we paused again to fuck. I can honestly say that it was among the most passionate sex we’ve ever had. It was rough when it needed to be and gentle when it needed to be… It was just perfect. His energy was boundless; it was like he was desperate to have my body, to feel every inch of me, inside and out. And in turn, that passion brought me in, and made me focus, so I could enjoy myself even more. Whoo.


We had been dating for a month and a half when all of a sudden, while he was on top of me, making love to me, he looked me in the eyes and didn’t look away. We didn’t look away until we came simultaneously. As dumb as it sounds, I feel like that was the day I knew I loved him. I had had my suspicions but I hadn’t had that kind of intimacy with anyone else ever before..and haven’t since for that matter. I remember after he lay on top of me and I refused to let him go. I never wanted him to pull out. I hugged him and I maaaay have had one or two tears fall…


I was seeing this guy who I had been attracted to for sometime. I moved off to college and was moving back to my hometown. We started talking and hung out often. I stayed the night occasionally.

He tried to have sex with me but I was determined to make him wait for it. I think we actually waited 3 weeks and the sexual tension was just insane.

The first time we had sex was insane. He talked all this crap saying how he could do this and do that and lord could he.

He started off by kissing up and down the inside of my thighs. Then started his magic on my pussy with his tongue. It was mind blowing how well he could eat pussy. He then slid fingers in and after having my cum, he slid up to kiss me, fingers in my pussy still. At this point i was begging him to fuck me.

He pulled me to the end of the bed, bent me over and slowly and pushed his dick in. Let me say he had a huggggeee dick. Biggest I’ve ever had. He then started to fuck me faster and pulling my hair. I’ve never had an easy time getting off without stimulation of my clit, but he was able to get me off without it. I had an orgasm. After which I climbed on top, and grinded on him until he orgasmed. After he got off, he told me I had the tightest pussy he had ever been with.

It was probably the best sex ever because of how he made sure I was priority. Plus the big dick did wonders too.


Dating this girl for a few weeks. Sex was awesome. So we go on a date to a park, and there are lots of people there and even geese. We lay our blanket out, eat from our picnic basket. After we finish, we’re just sitting next to each other, enjoying the cool breeze, watching the geese. It’s November, so it’s pretty cold. I have a jacket. I get a devious idea. I take it off and bridge the gap between us. Then I sneak my hand across the way. I start rubbing her thigh. She has this look on her face, like “We’re in public, maybe we shouldn’t” but she still opens her legs a bit. I slide deeper. Her panties are wet. So wet. I’m immensely turned on. But this isn’t about me. I slip her panties to the side. She is blushing but she doesn’t stop. My hands slip in so easily. She closes her eyes and bites her lips. I get knuckle deep, and rub the anterior fornix. I love that spot. Feels nice on my fingers. Anyway, she cums in seconds. I can feel her clamp my fingers together. I pull my fingers out and clean them. She opens her eyes and is trying not to fall over. I go at it a second time. Her whole body rocks. I pull my fingers out after the second time and let her clean it this time. We go home and she rides me like a demon.

Here’s another one.

I used to work at a college. I fixed computers and projectors. I often worked later at night, when there were few classes, so few people around. I invited her over when I was on my lunch break. I had keys to all the class rooms. I found a good one that somehow didn’t have cameras in the hall. We slipped in. We fooled around a bit. Kissing, groping. I then undid the buttons on her pants and unzipped her. She decided to tease me by trying to run out of the room. I freaked out because there was a big window on the door, I thought she might be seen. I pulled her back, and dropped her pants all the way down. She bent over. I dropped her panties, then slid in. She was so wet. I pounded her, she could barely keep from falling to her knees. She started that familiar penis-gripping contractions. I couldn’t hold back any longer. I came inside her. When I came, it made her cum harder.

20. HER FIRST TIME With The Lights On

I was dating a girl after I joined the military. I was her first and had basically been coaching her on relaxing, being open to talk about sex, and telling me when I did things right/wrong.

One day we’re going at it for the first time with the lights on. She starts getting close and for the first time whimpers “I’m gonna cum…” in a trembling way that made every muscle in my body shake.

Then… and I’ll never forget this… she pushes me away. She didn’t want to cum too fast and leave me hanging. (She learned later how to talk dirty and finish me off in a matter of seconds).

Well this time she has her shins against my chest and every time she got close she pushed me back and held me there until she regained her composure.

I have never been teased so hard in my life before or since. I came so hard it hurt, in the best of ways, and I’m pretty sure that was the first night I told her I loved her.

Best sex I ever had, and no one has ever gotten close to that level of intimacy since. TC mark

Here’s Why You Have To Do What You Want With Your Life

Posted: 17 Sep 2015 10:00 AM PDT


You have to do what you want with your life because it is what you're going to be best at. The world doesn't need more uninspired people doing mediocre work at jobs that they're emotionally divorced from. The world needs more people who are bursting at the seams with passion and excitement and enthusiasm for whatever small, seemingly insignificant job they undertake. Those people are the ones who shine the brightest, accomplish the most and meet with the greatest successes on whichever path they choose to walk down. Those are the people who make real change in the world. And the world needs people who make change.

You have to do what you want with your life because most people don't have the privilege of knowing what they want. Most people stumble and fumble through life, wondering what it would be like to have something that truly compels, inspires and ignites them. And because they do not have the answer, they choose the safest route available and they advise others to do the same. But you have to remember that you're different. If you're lucky enough to know what you want out of life – truly and clearly and explicitly, you cannot listen to the advice of those who don't. They are playing in an entirely different arena and if they were playing in yours, their advice would be wildly different.

You have to do what you want with your life because we're never guaranteed a tomorrow. Because 'someday' is a patronizing, soul-sucking promise that will rob you of your life as it's happening. Because anything could happen and we should be prepared to drop dead at any moment, feeling entirely satisfied with the choices we've made in our lives. Because the future is full of unknowns and you never know which barriers are going to exist in that all-consuming 'someday.' All you know is what you're capable of now and if you're capable of going after what you want, you likely have no idea how lucky you currently are.

If you're lucky enough to know what you want out of life – truly and clearly and explicitly, you cannot listen to the advice of those who don't.

You have to do what you want with your life because doing anything else will exhaust you. Because waking up every morning and going to a job you hate to pay bills you can't afford to maintain a lifestyle that you never wanted is the surest and quickest route to growing old before your time. Because true energy, true vigor, true meaning, can only come from that endless well within us that comes alive through what we love. Because passionate people die young at ninety and apathetic people die old at twenty-one or twenty-two, even if their body takes an additional seventy years to shut down.

You have to do what you want with your life because you're the only one it's going to end up mattering to. Someday your parents will die and your friends will disperse and the people who belittled and judged you will all cease to care about the choices you've made. And the only person who'll be left rooting through the consequences of those decisions is you. You'll be left to pick up the pieces and come to terms with an entire existence you've spent attempting to please the people around you – and chances are you will not be happy with those choices. Chances are you'll realize what a fool you have been for ignoring your truest desires all along.

You have to do what you love with your life because it may just be the reason you're here. Because outside all the lofty ideals about destiny and fate and meaning, what you love is always going to be what you're best at. It's always going to come the most naturally to you. It's always going to be the number one thing you have to offer the world. So why take that thing to your grave? Why whittle yourself away living a life you don't want, half-engaging with everything around you, when you have a well of unused brilliance within you? Why hold back for one more moment?

The truth about life is that none of us can be sure why we're here or what we're meant for. But we can be sure of what we want. And that's as good a reason as any to go after it. TC mark

14 ‘Relationship Virgins’ On What It’s Like To Be Perpetually Single

Posted: 18 Sep 2015 07:26 AM PDT jaclyncorn jaclyncorn

1. I've never had a boyfriend.

"I've never had a boyfriend. That means I've never had a boyfriend beat me. Never had a boyfriend cheat on me. Never had a boyfriend forget my birthday. Never had a boyfriend break my heart. Tell me again why I have a problem?"

—Marisa, 31

2. I like sex more than I like people.

"As I understand it, being a 'relationship virgin' doesn't mean you've never had sex. It just means you've never been tied down exclusively with someone. That describes me perfectly. I love having sex. I just hate hanging around for the inevitable pillow talk. For me it's 'Wham…BAM…OK, what's on TV?'"

—Brad, 29

3. Valentine's Day is the worst.

"I can handle most of the year, really. There's a huge difference between being alone and being lonely. I'm alone 364 days of the year, no problem. But on Valentine's Day I'm so lonely I just drink myself to sleep."

—Marnie, 28

4. I fear that I'm too unique.

"I've come to the grim conclusion that I'm so unique—not fantastic, not brilliant, not exceptional, just different—that there will never be anyone who'll want to be with me for too long. I've never gone on more than three dates with anyone. I've learned to accept the probability that my life will consist of a career, a few hobbies, and a couple cats."

—Reid, 32

5. I push people away.

"I think most people lose their minds and their dignity when they get involved in romantic relationships. I don't want to lose any part of me in someone else. I have sexual feelings toward people, and sometimes even a sort of affection, but there's a huge stone wall around my heart and no one is ever getting in there. I've seen far more people ruined by love than saved by it."

—Sarah, 33

6. When I reached in for a kiss, she laughed in my face.

"I've been on one date in my life. It was a girl in my freshman college math class. I'd been crushing on her for weeks. I had to ask her out four times before she agreed. We had dinner. I walked her back to her apartment. When I reached in for a goodnight kiss, she laughed in my face. I was nineteen. That was nine years ago. I haven't asked a girl out since."

—Matt, 28

7. Relationships are a form of slavery.

"Have you ever listened to the phrases people use to describe marriage? 'Getting hitched.' 'Ball and chain.' 'Tying the knot.' Why don't they just say 'Tightening the noose'? I can—and do—have sex with people, but they minute they try and act like I'm their property, I vanish in a puff of smoke."

—Etta, 32

8. Does it count if it's long-distance with a person you've never met?

"I've never had sex with anyone and I've never had a girlfriend in the traditional sense. There's a girl who lives about 600 miles away from me that I've been speaking to romantically for almost a year now. We do video chats and send text messages and swap pictures and even tell one another that we love each other. But I've never met her in person nor even touched her. Does that count as a relationship?"

—Harold, 30

9. It just feels…normal?

"It's sort of like…regular life? How could I tell you what it's like to be single when all I've ever been is single? I have nothing to compare it to. It just feels normal. I guess one day I'll need to have a relationship; that way I'll be able to tell you whether 'normal' feels good or bad."

—Justin, 27

10. It makes me feel like damaged goods.

"A long time ago, if you lost your virginity before marriage you were 'damaged goods.' Now the pendulum has swung totally in the other direction—if you're considered 'marrying age' and still haven't had sex, people act like there's something wrong with you. If you're a guy, you're a creeper; if you're a woman, you're a spinster. Either way, our society acts like there's something wrong just because you haven't been regularly rutting like some barnyard animal. So, yeah, being a virgin these days probably feels like being a 'whore' felt like when that was the socially unacceptable thing. Now you're a freak if you're not a whore. Such is progress."

—Ann, 36

11. It's like I'm slowly starving to death.

"My parents and many of my friends try to console me. They act like it's a good thing that I'm so discriminating. They all act 100% positive that the 'right guy' will come along one day. They tell me to be patient. Would they tell a starving person to refuse food until the right meal comes along? I try to put on a happy face, but inside I'm starving. Loneliness is eating me alive from the inside-out."

—Amanda, 30

12. I identify as asexual.

"People think that because I've never had a girlfriend, I'm either a failed heterosexual or a closeted gay man. The truth is that I have almost no desire for sex and thus no desire for the bullshit sort of play-acting that leads to sex in this society. You might think there's something wrong with me, and that's fine. I'll just sit back and laugh as I watch people destroy their lives as they let themselves be led around by their genitals. I'd rather be alone than bounce like a pinball from one toxic person to the next."

—Fred, 26

13. I'd only want a boy around for killing spiders and fixing leaky faucets.

"I can go on Tinder, swipe right six times, and have six men at my door in a half hour, tongues wagging and ready to please. Tell me again why I should limit my options and stick with one asshole mommy's boy who's going to need me to wipe his bottom and pick out his clothes for the day? Boys are good for sex, for killing spiders, and for fixing leaky faucets. Otherwise, my female friends fulfill all of my relationship needs, thanks."

—Crystal, 30

14. I tell people I'm picky.

"When people ask why I've never had a boyfriend, I tell them I'm picky. But that's a lie. The truth is that no one has ever picked me."

—Kate, 35 TC mark

10 Men Describe The Difference Between Orgasming From Sex And Masturbation

Posted: 17 Sep 2015 06:22 PM PDT livjess livjess

1. It's like the difference between reality…and reality TV.

"The difference between jerking off with your hand and having sex with a gorgeous woman is the difference between watching a high-speed car chase on TV and BEING in a high speed car chase in real life. Masturbation? Ha—it’s only make-believe! I like my sex to be real—there's more adrenaline, all your senses are on high alert, and your heart beats faster. No contest. If you can't get fucked, I guess you'll have to go fuck yourself. If you jerk off too much, you’re going to get a reputation as a jerkoff."

—Rico, 24

2. I know my dick better than any woman ever will.

"I am the captain of my own ship. There isn't a girl in the world who's going to know my dick better than I do. When you touch someone else, you don't know what they're feeling—which is completely unlike when you're touching yourself. A woman can sometimes punch around in the dark and hit the bulls-eye, but I own the equipment and wield it like a Jedi lightsaber. So there's no comparison—count me as a member of #TeamJerkoff."

—Kyle, 23

3. Nothing feels better than a ripe, juicy pussy.

"I've never found a lotion or lube on Earth that feels as good as a ripe, juicy pussy. Not even a grapefruit or a cantaloupe, and yes, I've tried both, thank you oh so very much for asking. I'd been jerking off for about four straight years through my teens before I ever got the chance to stick it inside a girl. The minute I was 'in,' it was like, 'OK, this is where my dick belonged the whole time.' Mother Nature knows what she's doing. It's how the species has survived—because a wet pussy feels so much better than your bony, awkward, freckled hand."

—Doug, 31

4. My hand never gets bitchy.

"My hand has never nagged me about taking out the trash, given me shit because I forgot its sister's birthday, ordered the most expensive drink at the bar eight times because it knew I'd pay for it, never woke up with bad breath in a shitty mood and yelled at me because I reminded it of its father, and—most importantly—my hand has never rolled over, turned away, and refused giving me sex. Are you kidding? My hand never ruins the mood just by existing in the same room as me, so the orgasms are always better with my hand."

—Curtis, 29

5. Masturbation is too humiliating to be very good.

"I would rather be spotted having sex with some half-human/half-marsupial elderly she-beast who lives under a bridge, eats dirt, and flosses her teeth with used toilet paper than to be spotted masturbating alone at home in front of my computer. Masturbation is great—when you're 13. But after that if you have to resort to touching yourself, it calls your very worth as a sexual partner into question. You're at the low end of the sexual food chain—below blow-up dolls, then prostitutes, then real live consenting women. When I masturbate—which is woefully often—all I can think about is the fact that I'm not getting laid. This makes for orgasms that are so weak, they almost feel like apologies."

—Jedediah, 19

6. Sex makes me feel too vulnerable for it to be very good.

"I've never had a complaint in bed, and girls always shower me with compliments about my, eh, 'techniques'?—but I always have been, and probably always will be, incredibly self-conscious when I'm naked with another person. Not only do I feel physically naked, I feel emotionally naked—almost as if I'm allowing a hacker to scan my brain for incriminating evidence. Yeah, I know this is a psychological problem, but until I work out the kinks in my head, I will always find it easier and more satisfying to cum when I'm all by my lonesome. Of course I'd never tell a girl that, because she'd take it personally, start feeling as self-conscious as I do, and make intercourse even worse for me."

—Billy, 26

7. The orgasm is much more powerful during sex—which is why I fall asleep right afterward.

"I can masturbate seven times in one day and still be fully functional—I'll wipe up, lift weights, go jogging, get groceries, talk a walk near the river, pet a stranger's poodle, engage in idle chitchat with a group of tourists, read a book—but the minute I have an orgasm from intercourse, I'm snoring until dawn. Obviously post-intercourse orgasms flood my brain with enough endorphins to knock out an elephant."

—Ace, 22

8. Depends on the woman.

"It depends totally on how much I'm into the woman I'm having sex with. It can be either better than masturbating or worse. She, and she alone, is the wild card who determines the difference. Like an IQ test, let's set the baseline for orgasm-through-masturbation at 100. Depending on the woman, my orgasm during intercourse can range from a MENSA member to mildly retarded."

—Johnny, 21

9. The only thing you smell during masturbation is your own body odor.

"Humans are animals, and animals are more strongly driven by their sense of smell than by any other sense—especially when it comes to sex. Unless you have some kind of pervy memento like her used panties, you can't smell a girl's pheromones while you're touching yourself. That kills it for me. It's like trying to watch a movie while blindfolded."

—Kev, 22

10. When I'm jerking off, I control the entire experience like I'm a movie director.

"Unlike real sex, there are no sudden unwanted sights, smells, sounds, or other things that offend your senses. Unlike real sex, she doesn't suddenly stop doing that thing that almost made you cum because she really doesn't have a clue what she's doing. Unlike real sex, there's no required dinner, foreplay, and cuddling afterward. You guide the entire experience like you're a film auteur. If I girl I’m fantasizing about can’t push me over the edge, I can just swap her out for another one—and another. And then ten more. And then a hundred of them, naked and singing in a choir. I don't care how hot a girl is—my imagination can always do her one better."

—Cory, 24 TC mark

I’m Guarded And I’m Working On It (Or At Least I’m Trying To)

Posted: 17 Sep 2015 05:13 PM PDT


I'm a private person. It's probably a dumb thing for me to be, considering I write for the Internet. I don't think there's really anything wrong with holding your cards close to your chest. My close family and friends all know a part of me, although I would say very few know all of me. I'm not trying to be mysterious or "guarded" because that's semi-trendy right now. I just hate the idea of people knowing who I am.

Right now, I'm sitting in a coffee shop down the street from my apartment, and I'm being surprisingly productive. It feels great. As soon as I realized how motivated I am here, I decided that I should make it a habit to come here every morning, order my $3.65 cup of coffee, and work. My life could change! No more procrastination! Better content! More time to do other things!

But as soon as I considered that the employees would eventually see me as a regular and might even know my standard order, I hated the idea of coming here every day. I don't want strangers to know my coffee order. I feel like Ron Swanson when he goes to JJ's Diner to remove a photo of himself with the caption "Man. Most eggs," because it reveals too much information about himself. While I don't normally mind being compared to the noble, resourceful Ron Swanson, this really bothered me because the show is making a joke about how ridiculous he's acting, but… I also don't want a picture of myself up on a diner's wall or for my local barista to know my regular order. Am I acting silly? Yes, yes I am.

Opening up to people will always be my biggest flaw. It will always be a make-or-break moment for me, and most of the time, I'll probably break.

I rarely allow websites or apps access to my location, my social media presence is sporadic at best (especially for a person trying to make a living on the Internet), and my Tinder profile includes a handful of photos and a bio that just says "Hodor." (A Game of Thrones reference for the uninitiated.) Basically, if I could live in a cabin in the middle of nowhere, where I have to travel an hour once a week to buy groceries, I WOULD DO IT IN A HEARTBEAT.

There are a lot of tropes I could attach to this to make it funnier than it probably is. I hate people. I'm a homebody. I'm slowly turning into Squidward from Spongebob. I've decided that my WebMD-level diagnosis is that I'm a shy introvert with social anxiety.

My default mode at parties is to stand in a corner and wait for a socially acceptable amount of time to pass before I can go home, and I'm fine with that. I'm as happy as the next person, I think.

Do I wonder what it would be like to be completely open with someone? Duh. People who are able to interact with others openly and honestly both baffle me and make me green with envy.

While in the middle of packing up our apartment, I asked my roommate and best friend the Pivot Questionnaire that's at the end of all the Inside the Actors Studio interviews. What's your favorite word? What turns you on? If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? She answered them all happily, and then turned to me and said, "Okay your turn. What's your favorite word?" I barked a laugh, shook my head. "I don't want to answer those." Were my answers being recorded? No. Was she likely to remember my answers in a week? Probably not. Was it totally unfair of me to ask her those questions without agreeing to return the favor? Absolutely. Eventually I did answer them and the world didn't end, but I know if someone else were to ask me those questions now, there's no way I would answer them.

I've attempted to be my own therapist and comb through my past, looking for that defining moment in my life when I went from an open and bubbly child to the person I am now, but there's nothing. It's just how I am.

Yeah, it's going to make dating harder, and just connecting with other humans difficult, but I honestly don't know the solution. It's just there. This frozen, impenetrable Game of Thrones-esque Wall looming between me and the rest of the world. Most of the time, I feel like I'm okay, like I have enough resources to survive on my side of The Wall, but other times, it's incredibly lonely. I want to let another person in, and show them all the gross insecurities and flaws that I have.

I already know what I would tell them. I would detail my long history of hating translucent spiders. I’d show them the photo of my cringe-worthy Halloween costume in sixth grade. We would laugh about my awkward love for Jason Segel. Then, we would watch Joss Whedon shows and Doctor Who until the Sun rose.

But I’m not there yet. Those things will remain secrets, and I’ll go out of my way to split my time between various coffee shops, so I’m never a regular. The world will be at arms length.

Opening up to people will always be my biggest flaw. It will always be a make-or-break moment for me, and most of the time, I'll probably break. I don't have the solution, so if you read all this way looking for that, I'm sorry. I hate the idea of even posting this, because it's letting strangers into an aspect of myself that I already dislike, but I think the only thing that will help me at this point is to post it. If I can let the Internet in with its many trolls, I can let one person in, right? TC mark

The Most Important Relationship In Your Life That You’re Probably Not Paying Enough Attention To

Posted: 17 Sep 2015 01:56 PM PDT


We think a lot about our relationships with other people.

We analyze the texts that our colleagues send us. We obsess over the date we just went on. We examine our relationships to a borderline obsessive extent – and we can almost always identify the nature of those connections. In ten seconds or less, you could probably tell me which of your personal relationships is the warmest. Which is the most challenging. Which ones push you to be a better person and which ones allow – or even encourage – your vices.

We pour an extreme amount of conscious effort into defining our relationships with others and determining what we need from each of them.

We decide we want a partner who pushes us, but friends who are warm and forgiving. We want tough love from our family but validation from our wider circle of acquaintances. We can ramble off a long list of relationship deal breakers or ideal traits for a partner, but we have a lot more trouble analyzing the one relationship that hits closest to home. And that's the relationship we have with ourselves.

In ten seconds or less, could you tell me about the nature of your relationship with yourself? Is it a warm one? A challenging one? An enabling one? An abusive one?

So rarely do we stop to consider the ways in which we interact with ourselves. We assume that our internal relationship takes care of itself – that we are constantly investing in and developing it. But we're wrong. Too often, our relationship with ourselves is the first one that we let slide. And it's the last one that we ought to, because how we treat ourselves sets the stage for how we treat and are treated by the rest of the world around us.

Just as we need to have boundaries with other people, we need to enforce boundaries with ourselves.

Take a moment to consider how you manage yourself when things start going awry. Are you supportive of yourself? Are you harsh? Do you criticize and belittle your own choices? Or do you encourage yourself to keep trying? Maybe you allow yourself time to retreat and regroup when the going gets tough. Maybe you push yourself to persevere and overcome. Whatever the case, there is almost always a rhythm and a consistency in the way that we handle ourselves – and we need to start recognizing those consistencies.

The more conscious we become of the ways in which we're handling ourselves, the more we are able to realize what's working and what's not. Just as we need to have boundaries with other people, we need to enforce boundaries with ourselves. We need to recognize when we're bullying ourselves, when we're being too lenient with ourselves, or when we're demanding too much of our own emotional reserves. We need to learn when to be tough with ourselves and when to be soft – and it's a difficult balance to strike. But it's one we'll never strike if we don't become consciously aware of our own inclinations.

Here's the ultimate truth about the relationship we share with ourselves: it serves as a precedent for all of our other relationships. When we're critical and unaccepting of ourselves, we implicitly tell others that we're not worth being around. When we're self-pitying and overly lenient with ourselves, it tells others they can walk all over us. And when we're disciplined yet accepting of ourselves, it tells other people not to mess with us.

A healthy relationship with yourself gives way to healthy relationships with others – because you know that no matter what happens with others, you can fall back on the one person you trust to take care of you. And that's you. TC mark

6 Foolproof Ways To Tell If Someone Is Worth Your Trust

Posted: 15 Sep 2015 03:21 PM PDT

Determining whether or not you can trust someone isn't always easy. In ABC's hot new show Quantico, Alex Parrish and her fellow FBI trainees have their world flipped upside down when an unimaginable act of terrorism is committed by someone on the inside –suddenly, nobody's sure whom they can trust. If you, too, have had your world flipped upside down, here are a few methods you can use in the future to determine whether or not someone is worth your trust.

When one of Quantico's FBI trainees is suspected of terrorism, everything they thought they knew is called into question.
When one of Quantico's FBI trainees is suspected of terrorism, everything they thought they knew is called into question.

1. They're reliable with the little things.

Ever been betrayed by someone only to realize how many smaller signs of shadiness you'd already let slide? Turns out, all of those white lies—like how much they really spent in Vegas, or why they were always slamming their laptop shut when you came in the room—may very well be signs of bigger trouble down the road. When it comes to trusting others, sociologist and life coach Martha Beck applies the age old principle of "How you do anything is how you do everything." According to her research, if someone regularly displays small acts of honesty, he's likely to be trustworthy with big picture issues as well (and vice versa).

2. They display self-control.

If someone can't trust him or herself, it's going to be nearly impossible for you to trust him. Researchers tested this theory and found that people who display high levels of self-control are perceived as more trustworthy by others – and rightfully so. If someone isn't able to manage their impulses in a tempting situation, it's going to be difficult to place your trust in them. Everyone encounters temptation at some point in their lives – and how he or she reacts in those moments is the true test of character.

3. They're comfortable making compromises.

John Gottman, author of The Science Of Trust, explains that trust gets built through a series of tiny moments where our partner temporarily compromises their happiness for ours. These instances can be as small as asking to hear about our day when they're tired at the end of their own, or agreeing to eat something for dinner that we like but they aren't particularly crazy about. When both partners regularly engage in these behaviors, trust begins to build – if we can trust them to put the health of the relationship first on a small scale, we can trust them to do the same on a bigger scale, too.

4. Their actions speak for themselves.

When someone is constantly making excuses for their behavior or justifying their actions in retrospect, they are raising a huge red flag. Trustworthy people don't leave room for explanations or doubts – their actions simply speak for themselves. They do what they say they'll do, and they explain any misunderstandings or inconsistencies as they arise – not after they've been caught red-handed in a lie.

QUANTICO - A diverse group of recruits has arrived at the FBI Quantico Base for training. They are the best, the brightest and the most vetted, so it seems impossible that one of them is suspected of masterminding the biggest attack on New York City since 9/11. (ABC/Guy D'Alema) ANTHONY RUIVIVAR, PRIYANKA CHOPRA
Few things are worse than losing the trust of those around you. Especially if you don't know why, as is the case with Quantico's Alex Parrish.

5. They are trusting of others.

A recent study that examined the behaviors of video game players found that those who were comfortable relying on and cooperating with other players were less likely to betray their partners in the game. Trustworthy people understand that trust is a two-way street – they give it out and they expect it back in turn. The more suspicious someone is of others' intentions, the more likely it is that they're the one who actually can't be trusted!

6. You trust them.

Perhaps the most paradoxical component of building trust is that someone's trustworthiness is partially reliant on whether or not you trust him or her. It's been suggested that someone is more likely to behave in a trustworthy manner if they feel as though they are trusted. Therefore trust is, in many ways, a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The best way to discover whether or not you can trust someone is to trust him or her. It will not only make you come off as a more trustworthy person (see #5), but it may actually make them into one. TC mark

This post is brought to you by ABC's Quantico. Watch the series premiere Sunday, September 27 at 10|9c – only on ABC.

15 Daughters Share The Most Enduring Life Lessons Their Mothers Ever Taught Them

Posted: 17 Sep 2015 01:23 PM PDT

via twenty20/studiosananikone
via twenty20/studiosananikone

1. “‘Never do anything just because others are doing it because people are idiots.’ I’m pretty sure she was smoking a Virginia Slim and watching the news when she said this. My mom is such a badass.”

—Abbey, 29


2. “The best lesson my mother taught me was that some things don’t matter. When I was six years old our house flooded completely and I was super distraught about the few things I had like stuffed animals and books, things that are easily replaced. I was crying and had been crying off and on all day. She took me aside, and I remember this in her voice, she said ‘people lose all this and more than this every day. Now stop crying.’ It’s one of those moments that’s stuck with me.”

—Jane, 23


3. “Love yourself first and everyone else second because that way you can know your love for them is real and strong.”

—Elizabeth, 25


4. “My mother gave me my lunch money in a lump amount at the beginning of every week which meant that if I spent it all at the beginning of the week on things besides food or extra food then I wouldn’t have enough for the rest of the week. It took me five days of no lunch and constant begging for more money that I started managing what she gave me. I guess this is tough love but it taught me about managing money.”

—Amber, 26


5. “You are your own responsibility. My mother allowed me to do pretty much whatever I wanted as long as it wasn’t harmful and as long as I could meet her expectations about school, etc. If I stayed up too late it was on me to get up anyway. I snuck around and got drunk with friends once/once because my mother still made me get up and go to school the next day despite my first ever hangover. I remember her saying “was it worth it?” on the way to school. This really served me well in college where all my friends would stay up too late, wait until the last minute for everything, and then wonder what happened. I had fun but I had my shit together too. Made college a much more enjoyable experience for me.”

—Hannah, 24


6. “Assume that every other driver around you is drunk and suicidal. I’ve never been in an accident and I’ve avoided at least a half dozen.”

—Rebecca, 25


7. “Be careful who you give your heart away to because it can only take so much before it won’t love the way it should anymore.”

—Brianna, 22


8. “You need to know how to change your own tire. At the time she was literally talking about changing a tire and was, in fact, jacking the car up to change a flat. What she really taught me though was that you have to be able to do things for yourself.”

—Kelsey, 28


9. “She taught me to stand up for myself when you’re right even when everyone around you is saying you should give in.”


10. “That if you settle for money or looks or comfort instead of a partner you love then you could end up paying for it for your entire life. That really stuck with me.”

—Sara, 32


11. “Don’t sleep with your boss. It’s hilarious because she told me this when I got my first real job and stupid me absolutely didn’t think this would ever be a problem. Well, guess what, my first boss tried to sleep with me the very first month of work. Thanks mom!”

—Melissa, 23


12. “To be my own person no matter what others said.”

—Stephanie, 25


13. “She taught me never to ask people if they needed help but to just help them. Asking people if they need help is asking for permission not to help because most people are too polite to admit they need assistance. I feel like I learned a ton about people just from this one bit of wisdom.”

—Anna, 24


14. “That you can reinvent yourself and that most decisions aren’t permanent. She’s never been afraid to try new things even if she doesn’t succeed the first time.”

—Jackie, 30


15. “That you should never need a man, only want one. Love out of choice instead of need is the only kind of love that lasts. Her and my Dad have been together 25 years now.”

—Laura, 20 TC mark

15 Unexpectedly Awesome Consequences Of Not Getting Married In Your 20s

Posted: 17 Sep 2015 02:03 PM PDT

Twenty20, ellostephh
Twenty20, ellostephh

1. You have several disaster online dating stories at the ready for entertainment purposes. If it weren’t for all your past dating foils, you’d have a lot less to discuss at cocktail parties. At this point you’re pretty much everyone’s favorite guest.

2. You know exactly what you want out of your hypothetical husband. Part of you wonders why even the craziest people you know seem to have found someone while you're still searching. But on the upside of being disappointed so many times in the dating world, you have a strong sense as to what you want out of a life partner.

3. You know exactly what you want out of your hypothetical wedding, too. It’s been expensive attending everyone else’s bridal showers, destination bachelorette parties, rehearsal dinners, and wedding ceremonies. You have little to no savings as a result, but you do have a keen sense as to what you do and don’t want when you eventually tie the knot. You swear that if you ever get married, it won't be on a holiday weekend, you'll let everyone bring a plus one, and you’ll have a very open bar for people who don't have dates and need to take the edge off.

4. Your vast wedding knowledge also constitutes a solid plan B career option. You’ve been to so many nuptial festivities as a spectator that you feel confident you could open your own boutique wedding planning consulting business. Not that you want to, but it’s nice to have a back-up plan.

5. You realize how smart you are for putting off parenthood. You're happy for your new mom and dad friends, of course, but getting together with them and hearing them go on and on about what their daily life is like is the best birth control a woman could ask for.

6. You know where to go for happy hour. You have no reason not to go out nightly, so you do. You like being a regular at various local bars. There’s something wonderful about being on a first name basis with bartenders at several neighborhood dives and earning serious street cred on Trivia Night.

7. You’re incredibly adaptable. Since you’ve been relatively unencumbered for so long, you’ve moved around quite a bit. You’ve lived with friends, you’ve lived with a serious boyfriend (or five), and you’ve lived solo. When given the opportunity to relocate for work, you’ve seized it. You’re a certified master at settling into new environments and situations.

8. You exercise more regularly than ever. You do this because you’re worried that your metabolism is slowing down, but the source of your motivation seems irrelevant as long as you get to the gym, right? You’re determined to look as toned, in shape, and youthful as you were in your 20s, so you happily put the effort in. You take spin classes and yoga and you enter triathlons because you want to look amazing naked so you can inspect yourself in front of the mirror while flexing and nodding at yourself in approval.

9. You’re incentivized to find a career and/or job that you actually like. If you’re fed up with where you are professionally, you have the freedom and flexibility to find something else, somewhere else. There's nobody holding you back or whose career you have to consider when making your own professional decisions.

10. You form strong, solid connections with friends. Being single has given you the drive to make time for the people who matter and to eliminate any sources of stress that weigh you down. You're like-minded single friends feel more like family and you speak to them multiple times a day.

11. You become more independent and self-sufficient. You know how to budget. How to support yourself. How to treat yourself once in a while. You can cook your own meals (or pour yourself a bowl of cereal when time isn't on your side). You are perfectly content to spend a Saturday afternoon on your own—picking up coffee, strolling around your neighborhood, or going for a jog in the park.

12. You become more open minded. By not following the more conventional path, you’ve realized just how many options and possibilities there are and you won’t be bullied by friends, family, or society into thinking that any one path is definitely right. You’ll figure you’re own life out, thank you.

13. You know how to make tough decisions. Since you’ve been the only one designing your life for some time, you’re completely comfortable making your own choices, big and small. You don’t hesitate when deciding between brands of organic spinach at the supermarket, or neighborhoods to live in. You know what you like and you don’t waste time overthinking stuff.

14. You're well traveled. You love planning adventurous trips several months in advance because you can. You've likely been to more than two continents because you’ve had so much freedom to explore and you've collected a ton of enriching experiences along the way.

15. You know yourself. The biggest advantage of spending so much time with yourself is that you know exactly what makes you happy. You know the types of people you want to surround yourself with, when to cut ties, and how to empower yourself. This independence is a direct side effect of remaining single during the critical self-exploratory decade of your 20s. TC mark