Thought Catalog


13 Men Describe Their Favorite ‘Imperfection’ In The Woman They Love

Posted: 26 Sep 2015 04:27 PM PDT

mrsyepez07
mrsyepez07

1. “Skinny women are not my thing. I'm a Kim K kinda guy, not a Paris Hilton man. So when my girl told me her New Year's resolution was to hit the gym every day to get rid of her 'muffin top,' I told her she was downright capital 'c' crazy. I like a little flesh to hold onto. Rock that fupa proudly, I told her.”

— Reggie, 27

beetlejuice

2. “I've been dating someone with a serious gas problem for about five years now. My girlfriend’s farts smell like death on a good day. She’s had digestive issues since puberty, so she got used to shocking people with her ass emissions a while back. But she was nervous as hell when she warned me about it early into dating. Luckily, I really do appreciate butt thunder. And I can honestly say that some of my favorite memories with her involve laughing over some of her more lethal farts.”

— Dan, 55

beetlejuice

3. “The love of my life is the female Steve Urkel. Not that she's a total nerd—she just laughs to the point of snorting like an over-excited, crystal meth addicted pig at least once a day and it's awesome. When she's cracking up in public, strangers will stare and that only makes me adore her even more.”

— Marcos, 30

beetlejuice

4. “I had bad acne as a teenager, and so did my girlfriend. So when I say that I love my girlfriend's acne scars, I really mean it. It's part of what bonds us together—that awareness of what it's like to be a pepperoni pizza faced teen and learn how to hold your head up high anyway. Zits suck, but they're character building. We're all a product of our cumulative life experiences, including tiny pustules. Her scars remind me every day that we're in this whole life thing together. Forever.”

— Matthew, 32

beetlejuice

5. “When my girlfriend was young, she tagged along when her mom went in for Botox injections and other cosmetic procedures and I think being in that plastic surgeon's office messed with her head. You know when part of a woman's butt sticks out below her panty line—the crescent moon shaped piece of cheek on each side? She's got it in her head that those are her 'banana rolls', and that they're a problem. I'm telling you, she has the best ass. If my girlfriend ever gets lipo, I’ll punch the surgeon that gives it to her in the balls.”

— Rhett, 28

beetlejuice

6. “I really don't understand why, as a society, we encourage women to bleach, wax, and shave so much of their hair. When I first went down on my girlfriend she hadn't shaved in weeks and she apologized for 'the situation down there,' but I was so relieved not to see another prepubescent wannabe of a Brazilian bikini waxed vagina. My lady's bush is out of control and she's been conditioned to feel like she's flawed because of it but I would argue the opposite. She’s sexy as hell.”

— Alfred, 29

beetlejuice

7. “My fiancĂ©e has dark little spots in different sizes all over her body. She calls them moles and talks about getting them lasered off. I call them beauty marks. She's my cheetah and I wouldn't change anything about her.”

— Charlie, 26

beetlejuice

8. “I'm in a very serious relationship with a woman who's 'pigeon toed,' but I love the way she walks, with her feet pointed towards each other like her two big toes are dying to make out. It's part of what attracted me to her in the first place. My idea of what's beautiful might not match the next man's, but I've never found normal to be all that interesting anyway.”

— Xavier, 33

beetlejuice

9. “My long-term girlfriend is dyslexic so she misspells a lot of words and her text messages make absolutely no sense 99 percent of the time. She was embarrassed about it when we first started dating—always apologizing for 'being stupid'—but I believe in the advantage of disadvantages. She thinks differently from most people I know, probably because she had to learn how to deal with her learning disability as a kid. She's clever and I’m obsessed with her mind, body, and soul.”

— Victor, 31

beetlejuice

10. “I've been with my space cadet for two years now. I can't even count how many times I've had to repeat myself in the last week. She zones out like no other, and it can be extremely frustrating. But I always come around to appreciating her for it. Why? Because she's crazy imaginative. I can't blame her for getting lost in her own whacky, psychedelic thoughts because I'd probably choose her head over the outside world too if I had the choice.”

— Wayne, 27

beetlejuice

11. “A year into dating, my girlfriend confessed that she's always wanted breast implants—not huge knockers, but a 'respectable set of C-cups.' She said that if a boob job made her more confident, it would be worth it. I was utterly shocked. She has the perkiest little boobs with the most sensitive nipples and if anything like surgery ever compromised her ability to orgasm within seconds of me sucking on her tits, I'd be devastated. Her A-cups are amazing.”

— Ned, 25

beetlejuice

12. “My girlfriend can't tell a story without digressing in a million different directions. Once she starts talking, she doesn't stop. Her two younger brothers have been telling her to shut up at least ten times a day since they were born, but I love her lengthy, rambling accounts of mundane events. She seems so excited to share every little detail of an interaction or situation while most people sit around taking everything for granted. Her enthusiasm's inspiring. Plus, it means that I never have to talk all that much.”

— Shane, 34

beetlejuice

13. “At first I hated my girlfriend's nails because she was always biting them and she always looked like she desperately needed a manicure. In my defense, I'm anal about my own appearance too. But somewhere around month six she showed up to dinner with perfectly polished red nails and something seemed so wrong. I realized right then that I loved her overgrown cuticles and hangnails—and the wild, messy woman attached to them.”

— Blake, 25 TC mark

You Gotta Kiss The Girl! 15 Ways To Make Your Kiss With Her Memorable

Posted: 26 Sep 2015 05:29 PM PDT

the-little-mermaid-screencap-5
The Little Mermaid

1. Kiss her before the date starts, not at the end, because these feelings are so strong you can't move fast enough.

2. A little drunk, in a dingy elevator, but not a sloppy alcohol kiss, a reserved peck on the forehead that communicates your respect before your lust.

3. In the autumn twilight.

4. When she says she is stressed, massage the back of her neck. When she turns around surprised, tell her that she is more beautiful than anything you could have ever dreamed up.

5. Place your hand on her knee, look her straight in the eyes; let the electricity of this contact rush through you two. As the silence is about to break, let lighting strike with the kiss.

6. When she says something self-deprecating. Respond matter-of-factly that she is perfect in every way. Kiss her.

7. In the morning, after the first sip of a warm coffee.

8. Say "you look amazing" and ask her to pose for a photo. Then kiss her. Now this beautiful moment is frozen in time forever.

9. Put your palm in her palm, then move your finger down her wrist until you reach her shoulder. Hover around her shoulder and the top of her chest until your faces connect like two magnets.

10. When the sun is perfect and the sky clear, and the wind is gently massaging the leaves.

11. When the conversation you are having reaches a climax of interestingness. Pause it abruptly and put your lips against her lips. After the thrill of contact, excitingly resume your thrilling conversation like nothing happened.

12. When you are saying goodbye and she hugs you for a little bit longer than usual, kiss the top of her head and let her look up and ask with her eyes for more.

13. Ask: “What would you do if I kissed you right now?” If she says, “kiss you back.” Don’t kiss her right away. Grab her hand and walk her to the most romantic spot you know, and then  while still holding her hand kiss her.

14. Tell her you need to tell her a secret, and kiss her.

15. When the moment is right, and any moment is right, any kiss perfect, as long as you both believe in all your hearts about the expansive potential of this budding relationship. TC mark

In Praise Of The Low-Maintenance Babe: 13 Men Describe What They Love About Laid Back Women

Posted: 26 Sep 2015 01:05 PM PDT

adoubleleye .
adoubleleye
.

1. They probably enjoy the outdoors.

“I’m super into outdoor activities so my nightmare is someone who freaks out over little things or needs to look perfect all the time. It’s great to clean up well but I prefer those occasions to be less frequent than going camping or being out on the water where you’ll inevitably look a little messy.”

2. They respect other people’s time.

“My girlfriend never makes me wait. I know it’s silly but I hate when people don’t respect my time, I get upset and it ends up placing undue stress on our relationship. When we have to be somewhere at a certain time, I hate girls who make you wait until they look perfect.”

3. They’re generally nicer.

“Girls who are more laid back are nicer. It’s not all a competition about who looks best for them”

4. They are better with money.

“I was married to a woman who could not handle her money. It drove me nuts. How many dresses and shoes can one person even wear? When I got out of that, I looked for someone who wasn’t so materialistic.”

5. They value the important things in life.

“I love how low maintenance my girlfriend is. It makes me feel like we are on the same page about life instead of these alien creatures to each other. We have the same values which are being active, challenging ourselves, and spending time with family. We don’t care about showing off for others or keeping up with the joneses.”

6. They prioritize enjoying life.

“I’d always dated the same kind of girl: high-maintenance. I liked it because I felt flattered to be with women who put a lot of effort into their appearance. But high-maintenance also seems to always mean they high-drama.

It’s a trade-off I thought I was willing to take until I met my current girlfriend. She was at the beach at a big BBQ some mutual friends had for 4th of July one year. My girlfriend at the time wouldn’t swim, wouldn’t play any games with me, wouldn’t even eat any of the food I bought. When I was going to sleep that night I thought about the other girl and realized ‘this is the kind of life I want. I want my girl to participate with me.’ We broke up a few months later and I immediately started pursuing the other girl.”

7. They pack light.

“I’m the one that ends up carrying all the bags! I appreciate a light packer.”

8. They usually like to do the same kinds of things I do.

“Girls who wear a lot of makeup like to go to bars. Girls who don’t might go fishing with me.”

9. They aren’t messy.

“I hate clutter and mess and it’s inevitably the girls who wear a lot of makeup that are the messiest. They always have stuff spilling all over their counters when I used the bathroom at their place. It’s gross.”

10. But they aren’t afraid to get messy when the situation calls for it.

“Low-maintenance girls are the best! They aren’t prissy or afraid to get embarrassed. They’ll eat a burger or try karaoke or paddle boarding, they are in it to have fun and enjoy themselves, not to have some kind of image.”

11. Their version of a perfect date night is Netflix + chill.

“Low-maintenance girls like low-maintenance dates. They don’t need to go to fancy dinners every day just so you can prove that you like them (through spending a bunch of money). It’s so awesome when a girl is confident in herself and in your relationship and so your hang outs are just about you guys, and not about what kind of show she can put on for her friends via Instagram.”

12. They don’t obsess over your relationship.

“I hate it when you start dating a girl and everything is going great — but then she reads into whether I text her back immediately and what it means if it takes me a few hours because I’m working or at the gym. It eats away at an otherwise healthy relationship and I really appreciate women who have their own lives going on and aren’t ready to obsess over every detail.”

13. They can be spontaneous.

“I prefer low-maintenance to high-maintenance because I don’t like to plan ahead. I love the spontaneity of going on weekend road trip we decide on Friday afternoon while we’re texting at work. Those are the things I look back on, they are always the best memories and make me appreciate having a girlfriend the most. I wouldn’t want to date someone who couldn’t enjoy that with me.” TC mark

19 Weekend Rituals That Kids Born After 1995 Will Never Understand

Posted: 26 Sep 2015 01:12 PM PDT

Are You Afraid of the Dark?
Are You Afraid of the Dark?

1. Unless you had concrete plans to hang out, nobody from school ever knew what you were doing over the weekend. The Internet was a baby. Cell phones were giant black bricks with antennas attached. So your weekend activities were yours and yours alone. Not until Xanga or LiveJournal did we experience the process of trying to make our lives seem way cooler than they actually were.

2. If you did want to see one of your friends over the weekend, you’d leave on Friday and say something like “Call my house around 2 tomorrow, that’s when I’ll be home!” You had to time that communication down to the minute.

3. The best Friday of the month was always the one with the premiere of the latest Disney Channel Original Movie. Sure, they’re still making DCOMS now, I think. (Yes, they officially are. Life-Size 2 is coming out in a couple months?! Thanks, Wikipedia). But the DCOMS now will never measure up to the glory that was: Johnny Tsunami, Wish Upon A Star, Brink!, Halloweentown, The Thirteenth Year, Smart House, etc


4. So on those beautiful Fridays at 8/7 central, you’d climb on the couch with a big soda (because it was your “weekend treat” even though you secretly drank it all the time). And you’d watch all the little Zoog Disney robots babble on and on until it was time for Zenon: The Zequel.

5. If there was no Disney Channel movie playing, you’d search your collection of VHS tapes and ponder if you wanted to watch Richie Rich for the sixth time. Opening the cabinet under the tv to look at your movie options was the 1998 version of scrolling through Netflix.

6. In a dramatic tone, you’d lament that there was nothiiiing to watch. So you’d rally your sibling(s) and then go beg your parents to take you to the one, the only – Blockbuster.

7. Seventy percent of the time you spent at Blockbuster was dedicated to choosing a movie. But you spent the other thirty percent begging your mom or dad or babysitter to let you guys get Cookie Dough Bites.

8. If you had a friend sleep over and you wanted to talk to your CrUsH on the phone, you’d spend 10-15 minutes scheming on AIM together so that the phone would only ring for a second before you picked it up. After all, you couldn’t risk waking your parents up. It was after 11:30 – your weekend bedtime.

9. And if your friend said, “I have this hilarious video to show you,” it did not mean opening the YouTube app on their phone and instantly playing it for you. It meant going to websites like eBaum’s World, clicking on a video, and finding something else to do for 45 minutes while it loaded. “Buffering…” is a lost art form.

10. If more than one friend was sleeping over, you bet your ass you were hopping on Napster to make an awesome playlist, which you would then burn onto a cd, which you would then put in a boom-box that was the size of a small suitcase.

11. …Because your only other option was turning on the radio in your room and praying that “All Star” by Smash Mouth would eventually come on. And then someone would yell “Did you guys know Kel from Kenan & Kel is in this video??” Later on in your adolescence, every other person you knew would try to convince you that Kel had died.

12. Saturday mornings were usually reserved for soccer games or other sports games. And the best part, even more than actually winning, was when the Snack Mom for that week brought a bag of orange slices. Unless, of course, it was your turn to bring the team snack but you and your parents both forgot because cell phone reminders weren’t a thing. (This happened to me more times than I’m proud of #middlechild).

13. The afternoon was reserved for relaxing, meaning you would run down to the basement to play Spyro or Crash Bandicoot or Mario Kart. You had no one to talk to through a magical headset while you did this either. Your only company was a neighborhood friend, or a younger sibling who perpetually yelled “It’s my turn, you died 5 times!” in your ear.

14. And although we loved our PlayStations and Nintendo 64’s, nothing topped real life. After all, Ghost in the Graveyard was the be-all, end-all of games. Flashlight Tag always sounded fun in theory, but after six minutes of it everyone was like, “This is dumb.”

15. Saturday Night Live? Yeah right. You were all about SNICK.

SNICK
SNICK

16. But if you watched Are You Afraid of the Dark?, your chances of sleeping that night were ruined.

17. Sundays were a day of rest. But for you, that meant begging your parents to take you to the park. Because there was an awesome playground there. And it was made out of what playgrounds should be made out of: WOOD. No cheesy plastic swing sets for you.

18. When you got home and the evening started approaching, you’d frantically call your friends’ houses and beg someone to give you the homework assignments because you forgot what they were. And then your mom would yell at you for calling them during ‘dinner hours’ (the ultimate sign of DISRESPECT).

19. So you’d go up to your room, finish your homework, and set your alarm on your funky, neon green alarm clock. And as you tried to fall asleep Sunday night, your only company was the posters hanging on your wall that you took out of Teen People Magazine. TC mark

9 Signs You’re Dating An ESFJ

Posted: 26 Sep 2015 01:33 PM PDT

hannahmcswain
hannahmcswain

1. They're planning your hangouts weeks in advance.

Every ESFJ has a bustling social calendar – but if they're interested, that's not going to stop them from seeing you. They're just going to make sure they plan ahead so that they can fit you in after Yoga next Thursday, but before their lunch date with their sister, while still having enough time to plan for the charity event they have that night…

2. They remember the little details you tell them about yourself.

ESFJs have incredible memories when it comes to the people they care about. If you mentioned your favorite kind of wine in passing the first night you met them, don't be surprised to find it sitting on the table the night of your second date. They're keeping an internal catalog of everything you like and dislike, so they can constantly surprise you in small, thoughtful ways.

3. They're taking a keen interest in your interests.

ESFJs show their love through assimilation. If something's important to you, it's going to be important to them too. They'll take the time to learn about your favorite sport, hobby, TV show or activity – and then they’ll actively participate in it alongside you.

4. They anticipate your needs before you do.

ESFJs are preemptively attentive to the practical needs of their loved ones. If you walked to come see them, there's a cold glass of water waiting for you on the table when you get there. The second you start to feel drowsy, they're already warming up the car to drive you home. This type wants the people they love to feel cared for and nurtured by them – at times, it may even feel as though they’re more in tune with your needs than you are.

5. They've effortlessly assimilated your family and friend group.

ESFJs take their social circles seriously and as far as they're concerned, your friends and family are their friends and family. They're quick to introduce you to the people who are most important to them and they expect the same in return. They'll waste no time charming your family and friends to win them over – they know how important it is that the people you care about approve of them.

6. They take each milestone seriously.

ESFJs love special occasions – be they birthdays, holidays or anniversaries – and they’re never going to miss a chance to celebrate your relationship. They’ll plan for special events months in advance, putting particular care and attention into each milestone you reach as a couple.

7. The relationship has never felt entirely casual.

ESFJs are long-term planners. They don’t date for the sake of it – they are constantly sussing out new partners for long-term potential and if you’ve made it past the first couple of dates, chances are they see that potential in you. ESFJs like the formality and security of a well-defined relationship – they probably approached the ‘exclusivity’ talk early on and aren’t shy about declaring you to be their partner.

8. Your entire life starts feeling suspiciously more organized.

Not only is your bathroom looking neater than usual but your calendar has special events penciled into it, your fridge replenishes itself and your life just seems to be running a whole lot more smoothly than it was before your ESFJ came along. This type is the master of keeping things operating smoothly and if they love you, they’re organizing your life alongside their own.

9. You've never felt more valued within a relationship.

ESFJs take their relationships incredibly seriously and the happiness of their partner is their number one concern. If you find yourself realizing that you’ve never been as appreciated, valued and encouraged by a partner as you are in your current relationship, there’s a very good chance that you’re dating an ESFJ. TC mark