Thought Catalog

12 Women Reveal The Strange, Yet Honest Things That Make Them Horny

Posted: 28 Oct 2015 08:00 PM PDT

Twenty20 / jullymalynovska
Twenty20 / jullymalynovska

1. “I’m always the horniest when I’m on my period, which is totally counterproductive, but I guess that matches the rest of my life.” —Sydney, 25


2. “Tequila. It really does make my clothes come off.” —Janelle, 23


3. “When my boyfriend sends me snapchats of his workout, it gets me going. Especially if it’s a video of him doing sit ups. I’m like, ‘Come home so I can feel those abs.'” —Tina, 23


4. “My boyfriend is being Donald Trump for Halloween, and for some reason I really want to have sex with him while he’s in his costume. It’d be like having sex with Donald Trump.” —Katherine, 25


5. “When I go for runs I get really horny. It must be all of the endorphins. My body feels so good afterwards, I just want to share it with someone.” —Dani, 26


6. “When I’m stuck in traffic. My mind starts wandering, and I get so bored and I can’t help but think about it. I mean, what would you rather be doing, sitting in traffic, or fucking someone? Exactly.” —Anna, 24


7. “If I’m watching a scary movie and hiding behind my boyfriend in fear. There’s something about the whole set up. I’m scared, he’s all brave and manly, and then it’s like okay forget the movie, let’s do this.” —Carly, 25


8. “Certain country songs make me really horny. ‘Wagon Wheel,’ oh man!” —Ashley, 26


9. “Sometimes when I’m shopping I’ll be in the mood. I’m buying clothes with hopes they’ll be torn off later.” —Natalie, 23


10. “My boyfriend is a chef, and when he talks about food, oh my god. He gets really serious; it’s so sexy. He could say, ‘acorn squash,’ and that’s it, I’m done.” —Francine, 26


11. “Foreign films. Europeans are naturally more passionate and romantic, so give me a romantic French movie, and I am set.” —Marisa, 25


12. “For some reason I always get really horny when I decide to stay in. My friends will try and persuade me to go out, and I’ll refuse, and then later when I’m in bed alone, I wish I wasn’t.” —Sam, 24 TC mark

Here Is The Top ‘Love Language’ For Each Myers-Briggs Personality Type

Posted: 28 Oct 2015 07:00 PM PDT


We all display love a little differently.

Some of us like to shower our loved ones with praise and affirmation. Others convey love through physical touch. Some of us want nothing more than to give gifts to the people we care about, whereas others prefer to run errands for friends and loved ones. Of course, some people don’t always display affection overtly but prefer to spend time around the people they love as a means of expressing their investment.

Noting the distinct differences between each of they ‘styles of love’ mentioned above, Gary D. Chapman categorized them into five distinct groups which he now refers to as the Five Love Languages. He discusses each preference at length in his bestselling book ‘The Five Love Languages,’ which is known to have helped many couples and families reconcile their differences and understand the ways in which they each recognize love.

As a Myers-Briggs enthusiast and a great fan of Gary Chapman’s work, I had one burning question to resolve: How does each Myers-Briggs Personality type like to give and receive love?

Curious to discover the answer, I posted a survey to my MBTI Facebook Page, asking participants to identify their Myers-Briggs personality type and then vote on their top one or two love languages. After receiving almost 2500 responses in 48 hours, I was able to compile data on each personality type, to determine how each one likes to give and receive love.

Click on each of the personality types listed below to discover how your friends, partners, family members and loved ones like to give and receive love!

Artisans: ESTP / ISTP / ISFP / ESFP
Guardians: ISFJ / ESFJ / ISTJ / ESTJ
Rationals: INTJ / ENTJ / INTP / ENTP
Idealists: INFJ / ENFJ / INFP / ENFP

TC mark

Bathsheba Spooner, The First Publicly Executed Woman In The United States Of America

Posted: 28 Oct 2015 06:00 PM PDT

Flickr / Michael Femia
Flickr / Michael Femia

In 1778, Bathsheba Spooner earned the dubious distinction of becoming the first woman executed in the newly independent country called the United States of America.

Born in 1746, Bathsheba was reportedly the favorite daughter of one of Massachusetts's most prominent citizens, the wealthy Brigadier General Timothy Ruggles, an attorney who had served as Worcester, Massachusetts Court of Common Pleas Chief Justice from 1762 to 1764.

In 1766, Ruggles arranged Bathsheba's marriage to Joshua Spooner. Ann Jones in Women Who Kill describes him as a "retired merchant" while an online article about the case states that he was born in 1741, only five years before his wife so there may or may not have been an age gap between the couple.

Bathsheba had her first child in April 1767 and gave birth three more times between 1770 and 1775. The second child died only weeks after being born. According to an article in JRank, "In these years before the Revolution they were living in what was considered an elegant two-story house in Brookfield, Massachusetts, and were considered wealthy by their neighbors." quotes a contemporary who commented that the Spooners displayed a "gaiety of dress."

However, the marriage was unhappy although the precise reasons are not known with certainty. Some sources indicate that the energetic and outgoing Bathsheba may have been contemptuous of the weak-willed Joshua while others have indicated that she feared him because he was often drunk and sometimes abusive. One article states that he may have had sexual relations with household servants. Infidelity might have easily triggered a multitude of negative emotions in his wife.

When the American Revolution broke, Timothy Ruggles was outspoken in his Loyalist sympathies. Patriots of the fledgling nation forced the Tory to flee with his sons to Nova Scotia. Bereft of close family members, Bathsheba may have felt increasingly trapped by her marriage to a man for whom she would later admit she had "an utter aversion."

In March 1777, Ezra Ross, 16, had served for a year under General George Washington. Disease was rampant among the troops and Ezra fell ill as he was making his way through Brookfield on his way to his hometown. The Spooners took the young soldier into their household and Bathsheba nursed him back to health.

He visited the Spooners a second time in July 1777 on his way to meet up with his regiment. Ezra participated in the four month long campaign that ended with the surrender of British General John Burgoyne at Saratoga.

Then Ezra returned to the Spooner house. Joshua Spooner appeared impressed with the young man who soon accompanied Joshua on brief business trips.

He also became close to Bathsheba and may have become sexually intimate with her. She asked him to poison her husband. Just before Ezra and Joshua were to leave on a trip to Princeton, Bathsheba gave Ezra a bottle of nitric acid and urged him to murder Joshua with it. Although Ezra took the bottle, he did not poison Joshua. Ezra also did not return to the Spooner household but made his way from Princeton to his hometown.

Mural of Bathsheba Spooner
Mural of Bathsheba Spooner

In the period immediately following the war's end, many former British soldiers wandered Massachusetts. While Joshua and Ezra were in Princeton in February 1778, Bathsheba invited two displaced British soldiers, James Buchanan and William Brooks, into her house. As Ann Jones writes in Women Who Kill, the two men "ate and drank well at Joshua's expense." She also shared with them how very unhappy she was in her marriage – and how much she wanted to become a widow.

Due to Ezra's reluctance to poison him, Joshua returned in good health to Brookfield. However, he took a dim view of his wife's houseguests. Ironically, the man named Spooner accused the guests of stealing a spoon and ordered them out of his house.

However, Buchanan and Brooks were back at that house two weeks later on March 1, 1777. Joshua was out drinking with buddies. On what appears to have been a bizarre coincidence, Ezra Ross had also come to the house that day.

When Joshua came home, Brooks began beating and strangling him. Ezra pulled a watch off Joshua and handed it to Buchanan. After Joshua was dead, the trio carried his corpse to the Spooner well. Buchanan pulled off Joshua's shoes. Then they threw the body down the well.

When the three returned to the home of the very recently widowed Bathsheba, she gave them money and clothing. Then they left.

Perhaps horrified by the memory of the previous evening's activities, all three began drinking early the next morning. In the evening, Buchanan and Brooks showed up at a tavern where their expensive clothes, especially the silver-buckled shoes on Brooks with the telltale initials J.S., immediately aroused suspicion.

In the meantime, Bathsheba had reported to authorities that her husband was "missing." Searchers found his corpse in the well.

Interviews with neighbors soon led to the arrests of Bathsheba, Buchanan, Brooks, and Ezra.

Spectators packed the courtroom on April 24, 1777. It was held before a panel of five judges: Chief Justice William Cushing, Jedediah Foster, Nathaniel Peaslee Sargeant, David Sewall, and James Sullivan.

Attorney Levi Lincoln, who would later serve as United States Attorney General under President Thomas Jefferson, was appointed to defend all four accused. He argued that Ezra was very young, that he had not participated in the killing itself, and that his even being there at the time of the crime was an unfortunate accident. He also argued that the poor planning of the crime was "the best evidence of a disordered mind" for Bathsheba.

The main part of the trial began at 8:00 AM and ended at midnight. The next day the jury came back with its verdict. All four were guilty of murder and sentenced to be executed.

Their execution was scheduled for June 4, 1777. Bathsheba "pleaded her belly," in the phrase of the time period. She said she was pregnant and that she was "quick with child" meaning that the fetus was moving inside her. The rule at the time was that a pregnant woman could be executed in the very early stages of pregnancy, but if it was advanced enough that the unborn was moving, or "quick," her execution had to be delayed until she gave birth. Since condemned women often falsely claimed to be "quick with child" in order to save themselves, this claim always first resulted in an examination to see if it was likely she was telling the truth.

Bathsheba's first petition in May for such an examination led to her own and her co-defendants executions being initially postponed. On June 11, a panel examined Bathsheba. All signed a document stating she was not "quick with child."

Bathsheba then wrote the following letter requesting a second examination.

May it please Your Honors,

With unfeigned gratitude I acknowledge the favor you lately granted me of a reprieve. I must beg leave, once more, humbly to lie at your feet, and to represent to you that, though the jury of matrons that were appointed to examine into my case have not brought in my favor, yet that I am absolutely certain of being in a pregnant state, and above four months advanced in it, and the infant I bear was lawfully begotten. I am earnestly desirous of being spared till I shall be delivered of it.

I must Humbly desire your honors, not withstanding my great unworthiness, to take my deplorable case into your compassionate consideration. What I bear, and clearly perceive to be animated, is innocent of the faults of her who bears it, and has, I beg leave to say, a right to the existence which God has begun to give it. Your honors' humane Christian principles, I am very certain, must lead you to desire to preserve life, even in this miniature state, rather than destroy it. Suffer me, therefore, with all Earnestness, to beseech your honors to grant me such a further length of time, at least, as that there may be the fairest and fullest opportunity to have the matter fully ascertained; and as in duty bound, shall, during my Short Continuance, pray.

She signed the letter and dated it June 16, 1778.

On June 27, a second panel examined her. Some of the examiners stated that she was indeed "quick with child." Others insisted she was not.

Despite the mixed opinion, Bathsheba received no further reprieve. Author Deborah Navas, who wrote a book on the case entitled Murdered By His Wife, believes that bias may have been behind the haste to execute Bathsheba because the Council of Massachusetts Deputy Secretary who signed the final warrant for the executions was Joshua Spooner's stepbrother. That Deputy Secretary was also thought to harbor a strong antipathy toward Bathsheba's Tory father.

The parents of Ezra Ross turned in a lengthy petition for clemency for their son but it was also rejected.

The hanging of all four was scheduled for July 2, 1777.

A crowd of approximately five thousand gathered to watch the malefactors put to death. They stood watching even though a thunderstorm broke out.

Bathsheba appeared calm, but very weak. She could not walk and was carried to the place of execution in a chaise. She crawled up the steps to the gallows on her hands and knees. Her last words were, "I justly die. I hope to see my Christian friends that I am leaving behind in Heaven but hope that none of them go there in the ignominious manner that I do."

In keeping with her last request, an autopsy was performed. A five-month male fetus was found in her womb. Much of the public was suddenly sympathetic to the murderer who had told the truth about her pregnancy. Commenting on the case in 1844, Peleg W. Chandler wrote that such sympathy appeared to lead some to forget "how deeply her hands were stained with blood."

Gregory J. Roden commented in 2011 in the Human Life Review, a journal dedicated largely to the cause of outlawing abortion, that Bathsheba's plea for a second reprieve constitutes "a moving and persuasive discourse on the sanctity of life in the womb." He also notes the "irony" that what he regards as an "insightful moral lesson" was written by a brutal murderer.

Well over 200 years after her death, the story of the murderer who begged to be spared long enough to deliver a baby remains oddly haunting. TC mark

17 Former Homecoming Queens Whose Lives Went Seriously Wrong

Posted: 28 Oct 2015 05:00 PM PDT

Molly Shattuck. (YouTube>
Molly Shattuck. (YouTube)


When she joined the Baltimore Ravens Cheerleaders in 2005 at age 38, Maryland socialite Molly Shattuck became the oldest cheerleader in NFL history. In 2014 at age 47, she was convicted of statutory rape due to a series of sexual trysts she’d had with a 15-year-old male friend of her son’s. She had performed oral sex on the youth over Labor Day Weekend 2014, “occasionally met in parked cars,” and swapped sexts with the boy. Thirty years previously, she had been voted homecoming queen of Delaware’s Ford City High School. (sources: 1, 2)



Leslie Van Houten. (YouTube)
Leslie Van Houten. (YouTube)

A devoted acolyte of Charles Manson as well as an enthusiastic imbiber of LSD and speed, Leslie Van Houten had twice been elected homecoming princess at California’s Monrovia High School. One night in August 1969, accompanied by five other Manson Family members, Van Houten visited the house of Leno and Rosemary LaBianca, where she aided in the latter’s death by stabbing her numerous times in the back. (sources: 1, 2)



Donna Sturkie-Anthony as a homecoming queen. (YouTube)
Donna Sturkie-Anthony as a homecoming queen. (YouTube)

A former homecoming queen from Norwin High School in Pennsylvania, Donna Sturkie-Anthony had numerous brushes with the law. These involved smearing her feces in the back of a police car during a DUI arrest, allegedly stealing a neighbor’s phone and vowing to burn down their trailer if they snitched, tossing ground meat at a neighbor, and threatening to kick a pregnant neighbor in the stomach. But the lowest she ever sank was a 2008 incident where she was visiting her sister’s trailer and an argument erupted that culminated in Anthony allegedly removing her sister’s prosthetic leg and beating her with it. (sources: 1, 2)

Donna Sturkie-Anthony as a criminal suspect. (YouTube)
Donna Sturkie-Anthony as a criminal suspect. (YouTube)



In 1968 Rita Grant was voted homecoming queen of Florida’s Eau Gallie High School. Eighteen years later she was living on the streets of San Francisco, shooting up heroin with dirty needles. Her teeth were rotted out, her hair was dry like straw, and she was so ravaged by AIDS that seven-inch oozing sores on her buttocks threatened to eat toward her spine. (source)



Jaelyn Young. (YouTube)
Jaelyn Young. (YouTube)

Nineteen-year-old Jaelyn Young was an honor student and homecoming queen at her Mississippi high school. This past summer she and her boyfriend were arrested and charged with conspiring to provide material support to a terrorist group—namely, the Islamic State, AKA ISIS. The FBI alleges that their undercover agents engaged in email conversations with Young where she’d expressed her desire to move to Syria and wage holy war on behalf of ISIS. She also allegedly said she wanted to breed and help raise little “cubs” to fight for ISIS in the future. (sources: 1, 2)



Samantha Spady was the embodiment of a popular girl at her high school in Beatrice, NB—she was the cheerleading captain, class president, and homecoming queen. But one fateful night in 2004 while she was attending college, she guzzled multiple beers, several shots of tequila, and topped it all off by chugging vanilla vodka from a bottle at 4AM as members of the frat house where she was partying chanted, “Go! Go! Go!” She passed out soon thereafter, and her associates said they thought she could sleep it off. But she was likely already in a coma, and her body wasn’t discovered until the next day when a frat boy was taking his mom through a tour of the fraternity. Spady’s blood-alcohol content at the time of her death was roughly five times the legal limit. (sources: 1, 2, 3)



Doreen Picard. (YouTube)
Doreen Picard. (YouTube)

In 1982 former Rhode Island high-school homecoming queen Doreen C. Picard was strangled with her own sweater and then beaten to death with a lead pipe. A man known as Raymond “Beaver” Tempest was convicted of the killing and sentenced to an 85-year prison bid. But this year he was released after he successfully petitioned a judge to compare his DNA to that found on Picard’s cadaver. (sources: 1, 2, 3)



Jennifer Hampton was the high-school homecoming queen in the tiny town of Waterloo, AL. In 2008 while staying at a Days Inn in Knoxville, TN, she was raped, strangled to death, and dumped in a nearby lake. A 20-year-old illegal immigrant who didn’t speak English was arrested and convicted of Hampton’s murder after his common-law wife, who worked at the motel, noticed blood on his pants. He’d used his wife’s master key to break into Hampton’s room. A fisherman found Hampton’s nude body floating in a lake about ten miles from the motel. (sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5)



At her high school in Louisville, KY, Kayla Brown was voted both homecoming queen and “most likely to be famous.” One day in 2013, only a year after she graduated, her life was cut short by a hit-and-run driver in a white sedan. (source)



Miki Koontz of Williamson, WV, was a former cheerleader and homecoming queen when she was shot to death in 1996 at the age of 17 under orders of a local drug boss whom she allegedly owed $2,000. Her body was found near a sewage treatment plant. (sources: 1, 2)



In a Pennsylvania church parking lot one night in 2005 while choir practice was going on inside—apparently so loudly that no one heard gunshots—former homecoming queen Catherine “Cat” Palmer was shot in the hip after an apparent domestic dispute with her boyfriend of three or four years. Her twelve-week-old fetus survived the ordeal unscathed, registering a strong heartbeat shortly after the shooting. A friend described Palmer as “a very sweet person” who “would never hurt anybody.” (source)



Vickey Lee Harvey was a former cheerleader and homecoming queen in rural Washington state. In October 2011 when she was 59 years old, a male acquaintance murdered her and dumped her corpse along a remote road. (sources: 1, 2)



Francesca Vitale Weatherhead. (YouTube)
Francesca Vitale Weatherhead. (YouTube)

Francesca Vitale Weatherhead was a 25-year-old newlywed and former Michigan homecoming queen on the day in October 2014 when she was driving to work and got creamed by a recently paroled felon with multiple arrests who ran a red light during a police chase. (source)



Michele MacNeill. (YouTube)
Michele MacNeill. (YouTube)

Dr. Martin MacNeill was a California physician, porn addict, serial cheater, and child molester who was found guilty of force-feeding his beautiful blonde wife Michelle—a former homecoming queen and beauty queen—a fatal dose of pills in April, 2007. Cold as ice, Dr. MacNeill set up the murder so that Michelle’s six-year-old daughter discovered her mother’s unconscious body in a bathtub filled with bloody water. (source)



Mercedes Morris was a former homecoming queen at Lee High School in Huntsville, AL. On New Year’s Day 2014, she was shot dead while sitting in the passenger seat of a car at a gas station. (source)



Marjorie “Greta” Mason of Pulaski County, AR, was an Air Force nurse and former homecoming queen who was kidnapped, raped, and murdered on February 2, 1983. A mentally retarded man named Barry Lee Fairchild was convicted of the murder and died of lethal injection in 1995. (source)



Mary Horton Vail. (YouTube)
Mary Horton Vail. (YouTube)

Mary Horton Vail of Lake Charles, LA was a former homecoming queen whose dead body was recovered in a local river in 1962. A scarf that had been wrapped around her neck and shoved deeply in her mouth, as well as bruises on her neck and legs, suggested that this was more than the simple drowning her husband Felix insisted it was. But before he could be questioned for murder, Felix skipped town and was never seen again. (source) TC mark

Read This If You Feel Like You’re Going To Be Single Forever

Posted: 28 Oct 2015 04:00 PM PDT


Most days, I don't mind being single. It's pretty great actually. There's a wonderful freedom that comes from being completely and utterly unattached. However, some days, I do mind. It gets lonely. And today is one of those days, so I'm going to talk about it.

*Here's a cue for those who are going to say that I need to stop 'complaining' and do something if singlehood bothers me so much – go ahead and make your comment and move on with your day.

Finding a partner and building a life is such a staple expectation that everyone has about growing old, and I think that's why we can feel so empty when we don't have that. We're conditioned to believe that everything else in life is secondary. Building a career, having hobbies, finding fulfillment. All of it comes after getting married and having kids. And maybe that's how it should be. I don't know. What I do know is that that puts a hell of a lot of pressure on dating. And that's terrifying for people like me who just cannot, for whatever reason, get a handle on this whole dating thing.

A summary of my romantic history:

10-years-old: A boy LIKE-liked me for two months. He was popular (on the basketball team *swoon*). For about a week, classmates in my reading class hotly debated whether or not he was going to hold my hand in between social studies and band. (Spoiler alert: he didn't.)

21-years-old: A very drunk man invited me to a birthday party he was having the following day. He called me beautiful. That was both the first and last time that ever happened to me.

Are we all caught up? Fantastic.

The way I see it, there are two possible reasons as to why I'm single and always have been.

Option 1:
I'm a hideous troll monster and the very sight of me physically repulses men.

Option 2:
My personality is capital T, capital W The Worst and men cannot stand to be in my presence for longer than 5 minutes before they want to gouge their eardrums out with a dull spork.

Of the two options, I would much prefer that I'm single because I'm a hideous troll monster. I can change that. I can go jogging (*weeps into the void at the thought*), forgo brownies and ravioli (*screams in vain as all sound is carried away by the wind*), and actually attempt to master the art of make-up (*shrugs, yeah that's do-able*).

But why? Let's say that I get in shape and wear make-up, and I'm swarmed by all those mythical male beings that I've heard might actually exist. Am I to live in fear that the moment I gain a few pounds or lay off the make-up routine that I'll suddenly become unlovable again?

I never like to explore the second option. That it’s just me. People don’t like me.

There's a unique kind of blow that your confidence takes when you've been virtually invisible to the opposite sex for your entire life. When the bouncer at the bar grins and tells your friend that her ID photo doesn't do her justice and then barely gives you a first glance as he waves you through a moment later. When guys come to you for advice on how to ask out your friend. When the only people that ask for your phone number are CVS cashiers trying to apply your membership discount. (On the bright side, I'm fairly certain that I could commit any crime and get away with it.)

As each year passes and nothing changes, you get more and more used to it. You joke about getting cats and saving tons of money on Valentines and anniversary presents, while simultaneously grieving. Grieving because you didn't get that young love. There weren't any sleepless nights spent texting that person that gave you butterflies with each letter sent. You didn't get to sneak out of your parents' house and meet them in "your spot." You didn't get to hold someone's hand for the first time and be the first person to hold their hand, and feel excitement and terror bubble up in your stomach from being in such uncharted territory.

You didn't get any of that and now you're at an age where hooking up is commonplace and you're still hoping that maybe someone wants to hold your hand sometime.

You feel as if Life has moved on without you and as more and more time passes you have less and less of an idea of where you're even supposed to start.

On the best days, it's a nagging worry in the back of your mind, like that squash in your fridge that you keep forgetting to cook. On the worst days, it's overwhelming.

You get to the point where all those milestones that other people look fondly back upon are burdens for you. You have to either bury the idea that your first kiss will be "special" and just "get it over with" so you're a little less different than all your friends, or you can keep holding out hope that someday someone will come around and they'll be okay with taking everything as fast or as slow as you need.

And maybe I'm just stubborn. Maybe I'm making everything much more complicated than it needs to be. That's very possible. I've had ample time to over think absolutely everything.

I don't want some fairy tale, but I want someone to like me for who I am. I'm not going to change myself to fit some mold that feels inauthentic and foreign and leaves a shell of a person that even I cannot recognize in the mirror. This is who I am. Hideous troll monster warts and all. If that means I'll be on my own until my cats and I revert to star dust, then so be it. I am who I am, and most days that's enough. TC mark

12 Things Bisexual Women In Heterosexual Relationships Want You To Know

Posted: 28 Oct 2015 03:00 PM PDT


1. We're still bisexual. Sexual identity is not automated based on the gender of the person you happen to be in a relationship with at the time. Bisexuality is not a placeholder orientation. A self-identifying bisexual woman is always a bisexual woman, even if she's in a heterosexual relationship. Sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression, etc. are all different things, and it's surprising how infrequently that's common knowledge.

2. We're usually more transparent about our heterosexual relationships because, oh, you know, even walking down the street holding hands with someone of the same sex/gender incites nasty looks and comments. Please remember that you may not have the whole picture, especially if all you know about our sexual or romantic history is what you see on Facebook.

3. Please don't assume we're just "experimenting" because you've seen other women "go back to men." We don't call your marriages "experiments" and we don't see those last often either. (Also, there's an identity for 'experimenting,' it's called Questioning, it's part of the acronym, we got our biddies covered.)

4. We're not "in hiding" if we aren't transparent about our sexual orientation. Nor are we in denial, or not "out." Too often people confuse being "out" with "making sure every single person you are conscious of is aware."

5. There's no faster way to completely erase us from the spectrum or deny our identity altogether than with this winning phrase: "but I thought you were gay!" "Gay" is not the overarching term for "not cis," in the way some people use "queer." Certainly this question is valid if someone was out as "gay" and is now… not (though the delivery could use some work). Regardless: there are about a thousand frustrating layers to this particular mess of an assumption, mostly revolving around the dismissal of bisexuality altogether. (Sigh.)

6. Don't ask whether our boyfriends "know," like it's some sort of disease we should fairly warn them about. They probably know, only because they know a lot about us – not because we must disclose this information so they are being made privvy to what (you seem to think) could be a turn-off or deal-breaker.

7. We haven't "gone back to boys" because that's just "what happens!" That's not… what happens… and it's an idea that's backed fully by the idea that men legitimize everything – our intimate relationships and identities included. (Another sigh.)

8. It's really weird when you ask whether or not we have frequent threesomes, please stop. This is only really an issue when it comes with the assumption (or implication) that bisexuality is a sort of vanity orientation… that it's something we do because it's "hot." Oh, speaking of:

9. This isn't for attention, nor is it just being "slutty." (We won't get into the politics of that word right now) because the point here is that truthfully, it's easier to pass as "straight." Believe me when I say: we would not choose an objectively more difficult path in life unless the opposite – not being true to ourselves – wasn't even more so.

10. Bisexual men, objectively, have it harder, but for the same (weird, false, annoying) reason that we do. They're totally erased from the picture (Channing Tatum is bi and you'll never hear about it – Megan Fox is bi and it's the cover photo of every photo gallery under a completely unrelated article.) It revolves around the fact that we think a penis makes a relationship valid – so bisexual men will "go gay" and bisexual women will "turn straight" eventually.

11. This is not the "gateway drug" of sexual orientation. It's not a stop on the road trip to gayland. You may know of people who first identified as bi before coming out as gay, but that doesn't mean bi is just what happens before you see yourself fully.

12. There's nothing to "choose." And that's the phrase bisexual women hear the most: "So… when are you going to choose?" If you're refering to when we're going to choose whether we're straight or gay – you fundamentally misunderstand the spectrum of sexual orientation altogether. It's not categorical, and does not shift based on what you appear to be (how you dress, who you're having sex with). TC mark

Boning Up On Boners: 24 Veiny, Throbbing Facts About Erections

Posted: 28 Oct 2015 02:00 PM PDT

Helgi Halldórsson (Wikimedia Commons)
Helgi Halldórsson (Wikimedia Commons)


Even though there is technically no “bone” in a “boner,” it can still break during rough sex—and it even makes a horrible snapping noise! OUCH! During what is known variously as a “broken penis” or a “penile fracture”—which happens to an estimated 200 unfortunate American men yearly, and often while a woman is riding them on top—blood vessels explode, the penis swells and becomes dark purple, and your little willy is out of commission for at least six weeks because it’s stuck at home in bed wearing a tiny penis splint. (source)



Along with horses, Homo sapiens is one of the few mammals whose “boners” don’t literally contain bones. (source)



Your penis is ruled by your autonomic nervous system, much like your heart rate and blood pressure. That means that sexual arousal is often involuntary and occurs at the most humiliating times, as any teenage boy with a raging erection who’s had to deliver a lecture on snails in the front of the entire ninth-grade biology class can attest. (source)



Scientists who spend a lot of time thinking about boners and measuring them—I would guess they’re called “erectologists”—break down erections into three categories: 1) psychogenic (the result of fantasies); 2) reflexogenic (the result of physical stimulation; and 3) nocturnal (the result of getting an involuntary hard-on while you’re passed out cold and snoring like a crocodile). (source)



In order to make the miraculous transition from flaccid to hard, the average human penis must fill with four whiskey shots worth of blood. Then again, if you also drink four whiskey shots, you may have trouble getting hard at all. (source)



Flickr dennis crowley
Flickr dennis crowley

Whether awake or asleep, most men average 11 erections every day—that’s from when the cock crows until the cock crows again the next morning. (source)



The developers of ultrasound technology probably didn’t expect that their invention would reveal that male fetuses start getting erections during their third trimester in the womb, and now that you’re aware of this fact, you will never be able to wipe it from your brain. (source)



George Grantham Bain (Wikimedia Commons)
George Grantham Bain (Wikimedia Commons)

Men who die via hanging are prone to getting a “death erection” when gravity forces blood down into their penile tissue. This phenomenon is known as “angel lust.” (source)



Yes, it happens—some men can have orgasms without ever getting even slightly hard. This probably makes them happy. Their partners? Not so much. (source)



If your penis measures five inches, you can tell people it’s ten inches, because that’s technically true. Half of your penis will always be concealed inside your body, and you can feel it while you’re erect if you press down on your perineum, AKA your “taint.” There’s the rest of your boner, tucked safely inside of you. (source)



The Brazilian wandering spider—it may kill you, but you'll die hard. João P. Burini (Wikimedia Commons)
The Brazilian wandering spider—it may kill you, but you’ll die hard. João P. Burini (Wikimedia Commons)

The Brazilian wandering spider wanders around Brazil inflicting tremendous suffering upon humans—but there’s also an upside! The spider’s toxic venom can induce priapism in men, which means that while they’re writhing around on the floor due to loss of muscle control, they will also enjoy a robust hard-on while they’re doing it. (source)



Since I woke up with a stubborn morning erection, I’m finding it hard to type, so here’s a short video about “morning wood”:



(Wikimedia Commons)
(Wikimedia Commons)

Priapism is a medical condition in which the penis stays as hard as a lead pipe for at least four hours and steadfastly refuses to soften. It doesn’t sound bad to your run-of-the-mill premature ejaculator who can barely last once it’s out of his pants, but priapism can be an extremely painful condition that can ultimately result in the loss of one’s penis. (source)



Guys, studies have shown that when you quit playing with yourself all the goddamn time, blood flow increases to your penis during those rare occasions when you might actually be having sex with someone else. So for the sake of your partner—and for God’s sake as well—stop touching yourself all the time. (source)



If you should suffer the tragic misfortune of not only being unable to achieve an erection by yourself, but you find that even tried-and-true boner pills such as Viagra and Cialis don’t do the trick, you can always get a penile implant. Whenever you want to get hard, you just pump a little grape-sized valve that’s been implanted in your scrotum, and your limp dick will inflate like a party balloon within seconds! It only involves an extensive surgery that places plastic rods inside your penile shaft and a reservoir of saline solution in your stomach, and there’s nothing about any of this which should make you self-conscious or your female partner nauseated! If you dare, you can actually see the whole inflation process on a live, hairy human male before your very eyes here. Don’t say you weren’t warned! (source)



(Wikimedia Commons)
(Wikimedia Commons)

If you’re taking Adderall, antidepressants, antihistamines, diet pills, and/or tranquilizers, you might have to kiss that erection of yours goodbye, because all of these medications are extremely boner-hostile. (source)



Certain unsavory lifestyle choices—such as smoking tobacco or weed, snorting meth or cocaine, shooting heroin, and alcohol abuse—can cause nerve damage, shrink, your testicles, lower your testosterone levels, soften your erection, and cause you to lose your girlfriend. (source)



If you’d like to measure your erection—and it’s a verified scientific fact that every young man in world history has done it multiple times—measure it from your tummy side, not from your scrotum side. Leave the scrotum side alone. It’s gross down there. (source)



A “grower” penis is one that increases significantly in size when it becomes erect. A “show-er” is one you show off when it’s limp, because it doesn’t get that much bigger when hard. Research has shown that shorter penises expand around 86% when they get hard, as opposed to longer ones, which grow only about 47%. (source)



Around 30 million American men suffer the heartache and humiliation of erectile dysfunction, also known as “ED,” which is probably the most annoying acronym in the world to guys named Ed. (source)



Frank Kovalchek (Wikimedia Commons)
Frank Kovalchek (Wikimedia Commons)

The official world record for consecutive male orgasms without loss of one’s erection is a staggering six blown wads over the span of thirty-six minutes without once going soft. Bravo, señor! (source)



If you don’t have regular erections, your penis muscles will atrophy just as your biceps will if you aren’t regularly lifting weights. Without a steady diet of boners, your penis can lose up to an inch in length—and you don’t want that, do you? (source)



Nitric oxide is caused naturally by lightning. Nitric oxide is also the chemical compound that increases blood flow to the penis and causes erections so sturdy, they may as well be lightning rods. (source)



Euphemisms for “erection” include boner, hard-on, woodie, stiffie, pocket rocket, chubbie, throbbing gristle, and purple homewrecker. TC mark

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12 People Detail Their Shockingly Vivid Encounters With The Ghosts Of Dead Loved Ones

Posted: 28 Oct 2015 01:00 PM PDT

Twenty20, Gouldjosh
Twenty20, Gouldjosh

1. The premature but prescient good-bye

One night when I was 8 years old I went to sleep and had a dream that my grandmother, who was still alive at the time but really sick, came into my room. As she walked away, she kept looking back to see if I was following her. So I did. I followed her all the way out of the apartment, down the stairs to the lobby, and out to the garage. Then I saw her join my grandfather with a group of people I didn’t recognize off in the distance, and she waved goodbye.

When I woke up I went to summer camp as usual. That afternoon, my dad picked me up early and told me that my grandmother had just passed away. I did some research years later and found out that your soul knows you're going to die before you do and there've been many cases of dreams or phone calls of people saying goodbye before they actually died. This always stuck with me.

2. The sibling ghost with a truly Unique proposal

My older sister Céline died at age 30 about five years ago. Last night I was rolling around in a fit of insomnia when I fell into a sort wakeful coma type of state. I saw my sister at the edge of my bed, wearing a heather green wool sweater, her deep chestnut eyes and hair as piercingly beautiful as they were when she was alive. We made eye contact and I reached out to her, imploring her to stay. Then I asked if she was doing okay, and I was surprised to see her frown because I'd always assumed that my sister would be happier on the other side than she'd ever been here on Earth.

Then it hit me: I knew exactly why she was so sad. She didn't want to miss my little brother's wedding, which is taking place this coming weekend. I tried to hug her, to hold her tight and explain just how much we’d miss her during the ceremony and every other day, but she couldn't, or wouldn't stay much longer. But right before evaporating, she said, “Will you marry me one day?” I laughed and replied, “Yes, of course! You can do that over there?!”

I love the idea of marrying my sister. For whatever reason, a wedding between sibling ghosts doesn't seem at all incestuous.

3. The weird walk-by in a home’s not-so-living room

My grandfather died when I was nine. He was my best friend growing up and we hung out all the time since both of my parents worked and he babysat me during the day. After his funeral, my grandma had a bunch of family over to the house. Everyone was hanging out in the kitchen and I was walking through the living room. I passed by my grandpa’s favorite chair and I swear that when I glanced at it, he was sitting there reading the newspaper as he always did. I just said, “Hey grandpa,” and continued making my way to the bathroom. When I got to the bathroom, it suddenly hit me that he'd died. I ran back into the living room and of course he was gone. The thing that gave me the craziest chills though was that there was a newspaper sitting on the arm of the chair.

4. The bro ghost who messed with his sis on demand

My brother passed away four years ago and we were really close so it hit me pretty hard. I’ve always believed in spirits and have had a couple experiences but after he passed it was very active around here for a while. First, my mom said she was in the garage talking to some friends about him and one of the power tools turned on for a second and then my cousin said he was in the backyard when he saw one of the kids tricycles roll backwards and then towards him. At this point I was pissed he hadn’t interacted with me. So I'm lying in bed complaining that he isn't fucking with me when out of nowhere I hear someone say my name extremely loud right next to my face. In retrospect most people would've been scared shitless and not been able to sleep. But knowing it was him, I actually got really good rest that night.

5. The undead grandma who wanted the anniversary of her death noted

When I was 5 my grandmother passed from breast cancer. Fast forward to ten years later. 2005. I had a dream one night that my dad decided to buy the house he grew up in, the same one we'd lived in for a while when I was a kid. In the dream I was the first person to walk into the house. So I walk into the family room and see my grandmother sitting in her chair, knitting. I say, “Mom-mom, what are you doing here?” She responds, “I wanted to come down from heaven and let you know I am always watching over you, and I love you very much.” I woke up in a cold sweat wondering what the hell just happened. Then I go downstairs and tell my mom about my dream. She says, “Oh, wow, that’s freaky,” and I inquire why. Then she says, “Today is the tenth anniversary of when mom-mom died.

6. The man whose deceased fiancée still comforts him

My girlfriend and I would often take walks in college at night. We would usually take the same route, and every time we passed this one street light, it would go out. We always looked for it when we walked, and usually commented on it when it went out (at least 80% of the time, no exaggerating). Eight months after we got engaged, my fiancée died. It’s been nine years. I still enjoy going for walks at night. Sometimes just because, sometimes I’ve had a bad day. Whenever it’s because I’ve had a bad day…there is this street light that goes out as I walk by. If I happen to drive by later…it’ll be back on. If I’m in a good mood, it doesn’t go out. I can’t explain.

7. The phantom matriarch getting to know her great granddaughter

I visit with my great grandmother and my grandma's roommate frequently in my sleep. My mom said my great grandmother was really sick before I was born and tried to hang on so she could meet me, but died two months before. My grandma also says I'm a lot like her, so we all kind of figure that's why I get to see her in my sleep. My grandma's roommate was a very important person in my life, and when she died I was a mess. She has visited me in dreams plenty of times and has actually saved me from what I believe was a dangerous situation that could have ended in my death.

8. The actual spirit of higher education

The only experience I had was with my dead grandmother about 6 months after she died. She was very smart, and loved education and cared so much about my progress and my sister's in school. So shortly before I started college, I had this very vivid dream. I was sitting in my back yard with my grandmother and she was asking me all these questions, basically congratulating me on getting into college. It was definitely one of the most vivid dreams I’ve ever had. I'll remember it for the rest of my life.

9. The grandpa who checks in through a medium

When my brother started 1st grade my mom became friends with a lady who supposedly could “see spirits”…Our family was going through a hard time due to some problems about a couple of years ago, and my mom’s friend assured us that everything would be okay because my grandfather was taking care of us. My mom was a little surprised by this statement. She did not recall telling her about my grandpa’s death, and she almost cried when her friend told her he was sitting right next to her and that his hand was resting on my mom’s shoulder. My mom asked if it was a joke, but her friend denied it and what she said next shocked us. She described my grandfather’s looks, nothing to do with my mom’s because he was a Latin-looking man, kind of short, and my mom is white and tall. Then she said that sometimes, when she visited our house, she saw my grandpa sitting on a green couch on the corner of the living room. And yes, that was his favorite couch and that was the spot he always used to sit on.

10. The actual best friend forever

My best friend killed himself a year ago. He visits me in my dreams to help console me. He tells me that he’s just a figment of my imagination to help me cope. He tells me that he’s gone. He tells me that he’s not real anymore but that he’s sorry none the less. He tells me that he doesn’t remember what he has done

11. The piano teacher’s pet

I had an encounter with a loved one, not a family member and I didn’t realize it until a few months afterwards. I’ve played piano my whole life and I had this piano teacher who really showed me the beauty and potential of music, rehearsed and created. My family moved a few states away when I was 17, but she had been my teacher since I was 7…When we moved I did not stay in touch with her but my passion for music grew. I’m in my mid 20’s now and feel music is a huge part of my life because of her. About 2 years ago, I had this dream that I walked up to her house (I always walked about 2 miles to lessons) and she opened the door like normal—but her head was a glowing box. After opening the door she greeted me and her box head brightened then detached from her body and I woke up. A few months later I was speaking with a Suzuki piano teacher from that same area. Apparently, [my former piano teacher] Mrs. Betson died around the same time this dream took place. Strange.

12. The brotherly ghost with an ironic sense of humor

When I was 12 my older brother died. A few months later I was lying bed, trying to sleep, not tired, thinking about whatever. As clear as day I heard someone just say “boo” right next to my ear. I sat up, not even freaking out or scared, I just had kind of a what-the-hell moment. That’s totally something he would have done.

TC mark

I Let My Boyfriend Style My Hair For A Week And This Is What Happened

Posted: 28 Oct 2015 12:00 PM PDT

My hair is ridiculous.

It’s curly, frizzy, dry and regularly defies gravity. On a good day, I comb out no less than six pounds of knots — but only in the shower, because if I dry brush it, the curls will eat the brush (RIP to the shower drain). I use no less than three hair products a day, and between you and me, only wash it about once a week.

Normally, I wake up and shove the curls into a top bun. It’s efficient and has the added effect of making me look taller (important when you’re only 5’2″).

Curls are no joke. So obviously, I jumped at the opportunity to hand the reigns, wide-toothed comb, and leave-in conditioner to my boyfriend for a week.

His response, when I asked him to style my hair for the week? “Depends … would you be willing to look like a f*cking GODDESS for a week?”

Challenge accepted.

Day 1: Boyfriend Buns

Provided by the author.
Provided by the author.

My boyfriend was hell-bent on starting the week off with a braid. I like braids. They’re cute and stylish, and keep my hair out of my face. One problem: he had no idea how to braid.

After ten minutes of watching (and feeling, ouch!) him struggle, I pulled up a YouTube braiding tutorial.

“Your hair is so bouncy. It just bounces out of my hands,” he said. “How the f*ck do you deal with this every day?”

Um, I ask myself the same question every. single. day.

After about 15 minutes of tugging at my hair (and no doubt multiplying the frizz factor), he gave up.

“How am I supposed to get three strands when I only have two hands?”

He settled on Boyfriend Buns instead, which looked like uneven koala ears.

Day 2: {The Nest}*

Provided by the author.
Provided by the author.

Not one to accept defeat, my boyfriend decided to give braiding another try. This time, he looked to Pinterest for inspiration and settled on a milkmaid braid. He, of course, needed theYouTube tutorial again (seriously, what would we do without the Internet?), parted my hair in two, and got to work.

The “braid” on the left side was really just a twisty knot thing with a hair tie holding it together, but he did a decent job on the right side (third time’s the charm). Then he did some kind of swoopy thing with the braids and tucked them into the rest of my hair. He even covered up a little leftover bald spot — what a guy!

I surprisingly liked this style, and left it in for most of the day … until it fell apart mid-afternoon, because curly hair.

(*He specified that I MUST use curly brackets in the naming this hairstyle.)

Day 3: Hair Don’t

Provided by the author.
Provided by the author.

At this point, I was pretty sure my boyfriend was sick of my hair and resented me for asking him to take on this project. I didn’t wear this out in public.

Day 4: Au Naturale

Provided by the author.
Provided by the author.

“I can’t do this today,” he said when I told him it was time to do my hair. “You’re going natural.” I smirked because he was starting to understand one of the greatest struggles of being a woman.

Day 5: “Turd-le Head”

Provided by the author.
Provided by the author.

This style brought us back to braid-sics (ha, ha). He decided on a simple plait … and told me it looked like I had a turd hanging from my head. How sweet.

Day 6: The Napoleon (Dynamite)

Provided by the author.
Provided by the author.

It was 4 PM, and my boyfriend and I were both still in our pajamas (perks of working from home). We were leaving in a half hour to meet up with friends when I reminded him that he had to do something with my hair.

He didn’t want to. “I didn’t realize how annoying this was going to be,” he said when I asked why he agreed to take this on in the first place.

Drawing inspiration from Deb’s classic Napoleon Dynamite look, he pulled my hair to the side for a cute little pony.

Day 7: Curly Curls

Provided by the author.
Provided by the author.

I told my boyfriend I wanted to curl my hair for a night out.

“Curl it!?” he asked. “But your hair is already curly…”

Yes, yes it is. As I handed him the hot curling wand, I explained that curling it when it’s already curly helps take the frizz out. It took him a few tries to get the curl right, but he did a good job overall — and didn’t even burn me with the wand.

Side note: makeup is a wonderful thing.

Before taking on this challenge, my boyfriend sometimes pointed to other women when we were out and asked me why I never wore my hair “like this” or “like that.”

I’m pleased that this experience has made him realize that it’s impossible to make your hair look flawlessly, professionally styled every day — especially when it’s as curly and unruly as mine. TC mark


11 Signs Your Dog Is The Reason You’re Still Single

Posted: 28 Oct 2015 11:00 AM PDT

Twenty20 / sopheachoun
Twenty20 / sopheachoun

1. You leave dates early because you need to let him/her out.

But really you just want to go home to their adorable face that’s eternally happy to see you.

2. You won’t sleep over someone’s place because you can’t bear to let your dog sleep alone.

You’d rather let that cute guy sleep alone than your innocent little pal who has never done you wrong.

3. Your dog has been in the room when things get steamy between you and your romantic suitor.

When you’re hard core making out with someone and your dog starts licking your foot (or your partner’s), things just got weird.

4. You’ve talked about your dog’s poop on a date.

When you’re sitting in a fancy restaurant talking about how your dog needs to learn how to poop on a leash, it sort of kills the romance. Your date just went from imagining you naked to imagining your dog doing his business.

5. You take your dog on a date with you.

And not to a park for a picnic, more like Sunday brunch with mimosas, while your dog sits on your lap. When your dog eats off your date’s plate, you realize why you weren’t called back for a second one.

6. You spend more money on your dog’s maintenance than your own.

You bring your dog to the groomer for 65 dollars, and get your hair trimmed at Supercuts for 15. You’re fine with a messy bun, but sometimes you brush his/her hair more than your own. They deserve to feel pretty too!

7. You kiss your dog more often than your significant other, or potential romantic interests.

You want to smother them with love 24/7, your significant other, not so much.

8. You’ve cooked for your dog, but never for a date.

When your dog’s stomach is upset, you cook him white rice with ground beef, but if a guy asked you to cook him dinner…you wouldn’t.

9. You reserve many Friday nights for snuggling with your dog.

Netflix and chill? No thank you, your dog is a much better cuddler than that potential hookup.

10. You and your dog have a relationship that no other romantic partner can compete with.

You’ll never love that guy like you love your dog, which is probably a good thing.

11. You don’t feel the need to date anymore because you have him/her.

Who needs a boyfriend when you have a dog? TC mark