Thought Catalog


9 Women Talk About The First Time They Masturbated

Posted: 06 Oct 2015 08:24 AM PDT

Twenty20 / pommepomme
Twenty20 / pommepomme

1. “I was having sex way before the first time I masturbated, which probably didn’t help my sex life very much. I lost my virginity at 17, and I didn’t actually masturbate until I was 22. I also didn’t have an orgasm until I was 23, so I definitely think the two were related. I couldn’t get off until I knew exactly what I wanted and needed. Maybe these men were just terrible in bed, but masturbation definitely enables you to learn more about yourself sexually.” —Steph, 25

beetlejuice

2. “My boyfriend at the time (who was my first serious relationship), kept trying to convince me to watch porn because I told him I never had. I had no interest in watching it alone. He said he’d watch it with me so that I didn’t feel weird, which if I’m being honest made me feel even weirder. So my first time watching porn was with my first serious boyfriend sitting next to me. We started watching, and he was visibly aroused, while I was inside my own head thinking painfully stupid thoughts, “Her moaning sounds awful. How did she get her clothes off so quickly?” He could see I wasn’t enjoying any part of this, so he told me to touch myself. I looked at him and was surprisingly turned on by his demand. I reached my hand into my pants, under my panties and began just as he told me to. I had never masturbated before, so I had no idea how good it would feel, he loved watching me do it too. It was pleasure for both of us.” —Ava, 24

beetlejuice

3. “I was a freshman in college. I went to a relatively small school, so everyone befriended the people who lived in their dorm building. All of the girls on my floor were single, and were having sex with whoever they wanted, whenever they wanted, as they should’ve. I, on the other hand, was tied down to my boyfriend from high school at the time, which meant I was horny, lonely, and miserable. He would call me every night making sure I wasn’t in the room of some hunky senior preying on female freshman, so I didn’t go out a lot, and if I did I always came home early. Luckily my roommate was always out late, so I had the room to myself a lot. One night my boyfriend (at the time) was texting how much he missed me, how much he missed my body, touching me, kissing me, fucking me, you get the idea. It had been 3 months since I had sex, which was a long time considering my boyfriend and I would have sex almost everyday. He called me that night and started telling me everything he’d do to me if he was in that dorm room, and that was the first time I masturbated.” —Alison, 28

beetlejuice

4. “I’ve been masturbating since I was 15. I started realizing boys existed when I was about 13, which lead to purely innocent movie theatre kisses, and sending AIM messages like Derek says he likes you, do you like him? But when 15 rolled around, suddenly those innocent acts weren’t satisfying anymore. I have pretty progressive parents, so my mom would talk to me a lot about STDs and pregnancy, and it definitely freaked me out. I thought having sex meant contracting Gonorrhea, or getting pregnant (good work, Mom). Since I was paranoid about others touching my body, I decided to explore it for myself. At first I thought it was weird, but when I did it the right way, it felt amazing. As embarrassing as this sounds, I felt so much more sophisticated after I did it, like I had matured in some weird way. I knew things about my body that no one else knew, and that felt great.” —Carlie, 22

beetlejuice

5. “I didn’t tell my girl friends because none of them had talked about doing it, and I thought it was super embarrassing, but one night I was really in the mood, and I was alone. When I first touched my clit it was like an on and off switch that I never knew was there. It was a pretty great discovery, and I’m so glad I went exploring, even if I kept it a secret. It’s funny because now, I openly tell everyone when I masturbate. My roommate will ask me if I want to get dinner, and I reply “No, I’m going to masturbate,” and that’s completely normal conversation in our apartment.” —Leah, 25

beetlejuice

6. “I never had serious relationships. In high school I dated a guy who completely screwed with my emotions from freshman to senior year, so when I got to college I wanted to be completely unattached. I was having tons of casual sex, and was enjoying myself while doing it. There weren’t many times when I was laying alone and horny because I had a wide array of fuck buddies to choose from. My friends would always ask me why I didn’t masturbate and I told them I had enough sex, I didn’t need to. That was until winter break rolled around, and I was back at my parents house with a midnight curfew and absolutely no fuck buddies within a 50 mile radius. I was texting my best friend about how being home was like being stranded in a desert, a very dry desert, and she replied, “Just do it!” I didn’t even have to ask what she was referring to. When I showered the next morning I began touching myself. It was just as satisfying as any of those fuck buddies, and when I returned to school for the next semester, I was much more self reliant.” —Denise, 24

beetlejuice

7. “It was a pretty normal experience. I was alone and horny, and my curiosity was heightened. Thank god I was, though. I began to be more adventurous when it came to sex. If I could experience enormous pleasure from trying something so simple, what else was I missing out on? It was my sexual awakening. Opened up a world of possibilities. Sex is so much more interesting now.” —Rae, 26

beetlejuice

8. “Can’t believe I’m actually admitting this, but I was watching Cruel Intentions. There is so much sexual tension in that movie! I was 16 and no one was home. I blame it on my teenage hormones. Either way, Ryan Phillippe is not a bad first masturbation experience. I hope he reads this, that’d be fantastic.” —Valerie, 22

beetlejuice

9. “I was a late bloomer when it came to sex. A prude is how most of my friends would’ve described me, even though I hate that word. I was still a virgin at 23, and my roommate thought that was unheard of. One day she was venting to me about how her boyfriend didn’t like going down on her, and anything I contributed to the conversation had little value, because I was sexually clueless, so in her frustration she reached into her dresser drawer, and pulled out her vibrator. It was the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen. This sparkly neon pink thing that looked like flubber but in the shape of a deformed penis.

“You should really think about borrowing it sometime.” I’ll never forget her saying that. I just remember feeling really embarrassed, insulted, and grossed out. When she went to her boyfriend’s that night, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I went into her dresser drawer and that ugly pink thing was staring back at me. At first I didn’t even want to touch it, but then I just thought, fuck it. I didn’t even bother washing it first, which now that I think about is so unsanitary, but I was so fed up with everyone calling me a prude. When it vibrated against my hand it felt like a tiny tickle, and when I put it down there, it felt like so much more. It was a pretty great revelation.” —Beatrice, 28 TC mark

An Apology From One Man For Us All

Posted: 06 Oct 2015 07:50 AM PDT

Hank Lihn

You’re gorgeous.

If you feel moved, beautiful, empowered, a bit tingly in area between your sternum and belly, if you're air-walking and shit talking and a little swag in your step, I applaud you. You are all these things and you and every woman deserves to know it, for you have made the world a better place, so clear within the complexity of the universe, birthed from the same matter of dying stars and hope, and born of dreams. Inherently every single woman is a princess deserving to feel this way.

But if you felt dirty or in some way diminished, I understand you, and I see you a bit better. I didn’t before, and for that you have my deepest and most abject apologies. I had not known how much we as men trivialize women with references to their beauty. I am sorry on behalf of us all, and I hope you’ll allow me to offer an insight, discovered as much in accident as in that aforementioned hope. Because I share the universal hope to be better.

A female cofounder in one of my portfolio companies asked for advice about an upcoming meeting with a major executive at a major company. The reply was from a man I know to be kind and brilliant and ostensibly enlightened, with not a bad intention in his body. He told her to "be her gorgeous self." While he meant it only in the best way, I saw the struggle women have to endure and a crime I myself am guilty of committing. For as much as he was genuine, both the founder and I felt somehow marginalized, and my apology issued on behalf of all men did not seem to cover it.

We have a real struggle for power and equality in our society which has gone unnoticed and unchecked for the last millennia, and as we achieve a greater global consciousness, we should be focused on simply being present and better. We are greatness, save for our hate, misdirected to race, creed, color, orientation, and even football-related affiliation.

What we fail to realize is that in many of our dialogues our most honest and vulnerable self does not show up. Rather, we have a representative who has layers of defense mechanisms to protect our fragile egos.

Lars Dalgaard noted that in corporate settings the interference of our egos creates a power struggle that draws us away from our humanity, away from the act of embracing each other. Imagine two people simply trying to impress each other as opposed to discussing how they will build together. It happens all the time. Rather, each interview should be the start of an emotional contract, where working together and building something bigger than ourselves is the focus.

The struggle we have is that our ego’s repertoire drives us toward behavior which in many cases is shallow, practiced, and not wholly genuine. A dear friend is one of the kindest most genuine people I know who people love to follow, whether on bike tours or third world adventures. He has mischief and a certain peace which many are drawn too, and he confided that years ago he was a student of “Game Theory” only to learn that the most difficult struggle is to simply be honest in the face of unrelenting rejection. We live with the ever-present fear of it, and whether in relationships or the workplace, it is in part our inability to be honest or vulnerable which drives this great inequality.

While I have only a limited understanding of the plight of women being marginalized in personal and professional life, I can offer a commitment to be better, and food for thought. While all my compliments may be genuine, I’ve come to understand that with obligations and room for misperception, they must be sparing. The radiant Brooklyn woman I met twice whose style, presence, bright eyes, and bearing were so awe-inspiring that it made me slightly ashamed for still being in work clothes (including backpack) deserves these characteristics acknowledged and known, but in practice, we run the risk of marginalizing each other.

Truth and perception are inexorably married. Beyond the golden rule, courtesy, and etiquette, I believe that we all need to develop better ways in which we embrace one another, and accept the fears and foibles of those who we even just meet. That you do not perceive anything other than my acceptance and inclusion, my awe and gratitude.

You may be gorgeous, but you also have been incredibly competent, valiant, and accomplished more than you thought you were capable of doing, and I see how afraid you,must have been, but never showed. Perhaps, the advice to our founder should have been “just be yourself, because that has gotten us this far.”

For every poorly used compliment, marginalization of beauty and competence, and misperceived positive statement, I am sorry, personally and on behalf of men everywhere.

The world is a mirrored vision of all of our hopes and dreams if we chose to focus the lens of our identity on it alone. You may not feel the outward ripple that your beauty causes, the joy the warmth of that light being brings, like staring down noon on a solstice bedecked in warmth and mindful of the world’s cooling change shifting around you, but I promise it’s there. I’ve seen you dancing in parks with stars in your hair, rising from sleep with dreams in your eyes, and charging the day with fear shattered in your wake. Unstoppable. But you know who you are deep down and you’ve changed everyone you’ve touched. Clean the lens of your perception and borrow my eyes for a moment. See awe. Strength. Our thanks. Remove the barriers, become more honest, present, and embrace the totality of every beautiful being around you. Lead with kindness, gratitude, and acceptance. This should not be the goal: this should simply be the world in which we live.TC mark

Watch The New Documentary About America’s Most Controversial Children’s Book, ‘Scaries Stories To Tell In The Dark’

Posted: 06 Oct 2015 06:14 AM PDT

Screen Shot 2015-10-06 at 9.01.36 AM

We’ve all read Alvin Schwartz’s book series, Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark.

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Widely praised and also condemned for its gruesome and ghoulish images (thanks to illustrator Stephen Gammell), it ended up as the Number One banned book throughout the United States.

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There’s a new documentary in the works to emphasize the importance of this book in our culture as well as pay homage to the late Alvin Schwartz. He would’ve been 87 this year.

Check them out on their website here, Twitter, and Facebook. TC mark

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How To Use Psychology To Get Over Your Ex As Soon As Humanly Possible

Posted: 06 Oct 2015 07:32 AM PDT

Twenty20, johnnycancun
Twenty20, johnnycancun

Want to know how to get over someone who dumped you?

And rid yourself of those repeated thoughts of them?

First, let me make a comparison about getting over a breakup. When a person decides to give up a habit like smoking, they initially find it hard to get used to not being able to have this comfort around. The initial period is always the most difficult but as time passes, the person will eventually get used to not smoking and will also feel much better with their newfound lifestyle.

There are reasons why a person finds it difficult at first to give up their habit. One of the reasons may be because everything around them reminds them of their bad habit which they want to give up. It could be:

  • Tea or coffee breaks during work when he or she used to light a cigarette
  • The store he or she used to buy cigarette
  • Friends who they hang around with who are also smokers

1. Identify the anchors preventing you from moving on from your ex.

I made the comparison with quitting a bad habit because it generates the same feeling as what someone suffering from a broken heart is going through. People suffer because they keep on thinking about the person that dumped them. Right now, there are many things that cause you to think of your ex and it's this constant remembering of your ex that is one of the reasons why it's hard for you to move on ….and fall out of love with them.

People, in their mind, naturally develop associations or anchors between two events if those two events happened at the same time. This is also known as classical conditioning. When one association occurs, a person's memory of the other thing will be immediately triggered.

Just like with our example of someone giving up smoking. They would, at first, find it tough at work during their break because he or she used to have a cigarette during that time. They would have already associated their work breaks with lighting a cigarette. This association would cause him to miss smoking more than what he normally would.

It's the same scenario as relationships and trying to move on from a broken heart. When you go to a place you and your ex used to visit together (like the movie theatre or a park etc), this is what happens:

  • You remember him or her
  • And all the memories the two of you had together at that place

Your subconscious has already "associated" the place with your ex and this causes you to think of them, causing pain to you.

2. Unwind the associations perpetuating your fixation with your ex.

We need to understand the dynamics of associations in classical conditioning in order to recognise them more clearly, and hence beat them.

Let's take your favourite song or film from your childhood as an example. The film or song makes you think fondly about your childhood and it makes you happy. There's a positive association between the song or film and the memory. However, if you keep on watching the film or listening to the same song over and over more than a hundred times, you would eventually grow tired of it and all the good feelings it has given you would diminish.
So, in other words, you would now be hearing the song but you would no longer be thinking of the fond memories of your childhood (while listening to the song).

Thus, if we experience one association without its matching second association, then the association between the two will die and we will only remember each one on its own merit. So, in other words, its possible for the associations in classical conditioning formed by your subconscious …to be broken.

If you train yourself to stop day-dreaming about your ex when an association occurs, that association will die. I advise that when an association presents itself (such as the park for example where you both used go for a walk together), you should make yourself think about the negative qualities that your ex has. This way, when you think of a place or a song that you and your ex both love, it would make you like him or her less and less.

3. Give yourself a break, recognizing that it’s difficult to get over a broken heart.

Some people find it extremely hard to forget someone because, instead of weakening the associations that make them remember their ex, they just constantly reinforce them. They just add extra suffering to their situation by:

  • Playing particular songs over and over that remind them of their ex
  • Visiting the same places and spots that they used to visit with their ex
  • Basically thinking about everything and anything related to their ex

These are the reasons why even time cannot help those people heal their broken hearts. You must stop doing these things to help your broken heart recover easily. Whenever a thought of your ex pops into your mind while at one of these places, or listening to one of these songs, instead of day-dreaming about your ex for the next hour …you should immediately push the thought of your ex out of your mind.

This way, over time, the association will die.

4. Don't add salt to your own wounds.

What you need to focus on right now is to stop adding salt to the wound. This doesn't mean to suppress your feelings towards him or her. Restraining your emotions and feelings does not help in getting over your ex.

Sometimes, it's good to feel and experience the emotions you get from being dumped. BUT you must not indulge in those kinds of feelings again and again. This is one of the most common and biggest mistakes people tend to do when their boyfriend/girlfriend breaks up with them.

When you indulge in those feelings, you're just basically strengthening them into your subconscious. You're embedding them in your heart deeper. And keep in mind that the deeper they are embedded, the harder it will be to uproot them later.

5. Feel, take it all in, and learn to let it go.

If you stop giving in to your feelings and emotions right now, they will have nowhere to go but fade away. When emotions are not fed, they will die.

What needs to be done right now is to stop all the daydreams you have of your ex. This will be the toughest part of forgetting an ex but once you put it into action and stick to it, it will result in success.

One of the reasons why people fail to stop giving in to their emotions is because they frequently revisit all the happy memories and moments they've had with their ex.

Naturally, if you keep on indulging your emotions, they will just continue to grow. Like a plant that needs water, you need to cut the water supply to prevent it from growing. And the best time to begin doing this …is now. TC mark

13 Women Reveal How Much Their Engagement Ring Cost, And What It Means To Them

Posted: 05 Oct 2015 05:13 PM PDT

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via Flickr – Tela Chhe

1. “Mine cost nothing because it’s his grandmother’s engagement ring. She died a year before we met but his family kept the ring, apparently for just such an occasion. It’s meaningful to me not just because he gave it to me and asked him to marry him but because of the family history tied up in it. His grandmother was first generation American and had survived some pretty terrible things in eastern Europe while still managing to never lose the ring. Every knick and scratch on the band is a reminder of what it’s been through and the stone, while small, shines brighter than any other to me.”

—Olivia, 25

beetlejuice

2. “I never answer this question and I’ve been asked it a lot. My ring cost around $20,000 and the center ruby is both beautiful and huge. I wish I could say that it’s too big or cost too much or something equally ‘I’m so humble’ but I don’t feel that way. It’s a fat, awesome engagement ring and I love it. To me it means that my husband listened to me when I told him what stones I like and that he was willing to spend quite a bit of money to get the right thing.”

—Janice, 27

beetlejuice

3. “He and I married straight out of college and so we didn’t have much money and didn’t want to go into debt. He proposed to me without a ring and we ended up going to pick it out together and spent $1500 on it. It’s a lovely piece and it really reminds me of how he and I make all our decisions together. While others might not think that’s romantic, to me it’s one of the most romantic thing about marriage.”

—Rebecca, 24

beetlejuice

4. “My husband spent 800 bucks on a peridot ring in a white gold setting. It’s beautiful but the way he presented it to me was just so amazing. We were standing in wheat field near my parents’ house in winter and everything around us for miles was brown and gray. Then he pulled out this ring and it shined this incredible green and asked me if I would be his wife. He has a real sense of style and the way he popped the question will forever come to my mind when I look at the ring.”

—Michelle, 28

beetlejuice

5. “I told my fiancee that I wanted a three karat ring to signify the three years we’d been together. He came through for me and it’s an unbelievable piece of jewelry. Honestly, if he hadn’t gotten it for me I don’t know if I would have felt right saying yes, it meant that much to me. I wanted proof that he cared enough about me to save up for the ring of my dreams.”

—Alice, 26

beetlejuice

6. “Mine was 500 dollars. It’s a small diamond in a titanium setting. As a mechanical engineer I just happen to know what these things cost in terms of materials. It means a lot to me because my husband proposed to me the day after I graduated and had this incredible grin on his face like ‘I got you this ring made out of cool metal and you’re an engineer now’. It was the coolest idea and love that he thought of using titanium, a metal stronger than any ‘precious metal’ and a marvel of modern metallurgy.”

—Gina, 27

beetlejuice

7. “How do women know what their engagement rings cost? If they didn’t pick it out then do they just ask their husbands like ‘did you spend a ton on this or not?’ I have no idea what he spent on it. It’s beautiful and he’s beautiful and we’re going to be together forever so why would I go digging in asking for deets and receipts?”

—Clara, 29

beetlejuice

8. “My husband spent nearly $30,000 on my engagement ring and I know that only because we picked it out together. My friends comment on it a lot but I didn’t want it just because it’s a huge and timeless engagement ring. I work in a prestigious law firm and people absolutely would have judged me if I’d gotten anything cheaper. I actually think it might have hurt my career and if we were going to marry then he needed to understand that my career was around before he was.”

—Melanie, 33

beetlejuice

9. “I’ve only been married about a year but when my man and I were talking about marriage we decided that instead of worrying about the cost of the ring we’d go ahead and decide on something less expensive now and that he’d get me a new fancier ring on our ten year anniversary. I like my ring and I love my husband and I see the anniversary ring that will replace this one in nine years as a symbol of how our relationship will have grown.”

—April, 27

beetlejuice

10. “I don’t really believe in engagement rings and I don’t care for diamonds. When we got married, my husband and I exchanged bands and that was it. I don’t need a dowry ring to put a huge hole in the man I love’s pocket just because the jewelry industry thinks it’s tradition. And I don’t believe the myth that big rocks mean big love. My dad got my mother the biggest rock anyone had seen when they got married and he spent the next 40 years fucking his secretaries so yeah, a rock is just a rock.”

—Melody, 28

beetlejuice

11. “We picked out my engagement ring together and ended up spending two thousand on it. We could have afforded to spend more but this is the exact ring I wanted, a lovely little emerald set in gold. It’s timeless and perfect, completely his style.”

—Karen, 30

beetlejuice

12. “I will never again tell anyone how much my engagement ring cost because the last time I told a group of friends a few of them all said shitty things like ‘you got screwed’ and ‘that’s cheap’. I basically picked it out and my husband wanted to spend way more so he’s not cheap. I just hate that some people can be so shallow about this one issue. I’m not friends with those two girls anymore, btw. No one gets to talk shit about the man I love. Dirt. Off. My. Shoulder.”

—Janice, 29

beetlejuice

13. “My engagement ring is a Black Opal in a silver setting. I love it more than life itself. It’s so unique and bold and I don’t have any idea what it cost, I just love that my husband completely went for it with the design.”

—Cindy, 27 TC mark

Here Is How You Commit To Staying Found

Posted: 05 Oct 2015 02:00 PM PDT

dannyrozenblit
dannyrozenblit

We talk a lot about getting lost and found.

We agonize over our lostness. We lament over our lack of direction. We aim and aspire to find our ways toward better futures, but here is what we fail to acknowledge: being lost is the easy part.

Being lost is a directionless wasteland where no turn is the wrong turn because no coordinates chart your course. Being lost is stressful and frustrating and ceaselessly inconvenient but it also possesses no real threat. When you’re astray, you have so little left to lose. Staying lost is the easy and effortless part. The hardest part – the part that nobody ever talks about – is letting yourself remain found.

The hardest thing is arriving at a present you may never have expected or wanted. The hard part is giving up your aimless wandering and conceding to live right in the middle of your new reality, with your ties to the past lying severed and the whole future stretched out before you. With just your two shaking hands on the steering wheel and no front-seat driver to guide you. The hardest thing is refraining from turning that car around at the first sign of inclement weather and heading right back to the wasteland you came from. Because that's what they don't tell you about being found – it means you have to weather so many storms to stay put.

So what do you do, when you know where you are but not quite where you're going? How do you stay found in a world full of twisting roads and unnavigable jungles? How do you commit to this present that you do not entirely want and a future that you've not yet arrived at?

Here's the thing about staying found:

You stay found by accepting that everything's changed. Not just by subtly acknowledging it but by actively reminding yourself, every single morning of every single day until it finally starts to sink in – things will never be the same as they were. You let the words "different" and "never" sink under your skin; infiltrating your bloodstream and poisoning every last hope you once had for the past to carry on. You let the intense discomfort of loss and uncertainty become you, taking up residence inside your heart.

You stay found by refusing to look back. By reminding yourself that where you're going is more important than where you've been and that you may just have to blindly believe that for as long as it takes. So when you're scared, you look forward. When you're uncomfortable, you look forward. When you're at a loss of what to do or where to go or what to hold onto next, you look forward. You look at what you could have, not at what you've lost. You move closer to who you could become, when you so desperately want to regress into who you have been.

You stay found by mapping your own coordinates. By telling them to friends and loved ones, "I am here. I have marked my new territory and I have decided that this is what matters to me now." You stay found by accepting that new things are close to your heart now, regardless of how terrified or out of control that makes you feel. You accept that you once again have things you could lose and that losing them would hurt. But you're going to take a chance on them anyway. You're going to decide that the risk is worth it one more time (and always one more time).

You stay found by investing yourself. By not shying away from new people, new experiences, new chances, new ways of life because they don't measure up in every way to what you left behind. You stay found by accepting that 'different' is not synonymous with 'inferior' and so you let differences make their way into your life. Let them change you. Let them become the entirety of what is coming next.

Because the thing about staying found is that you have to commit to it. You have to let the new place you've arrived at be uncomfortable and scary and a little bit sad sometimes, too. You have to remind yourself that the pain of growing into bigger shoes beats the pain of cramming your feet into ones that just no longer fit you. That one pain is going to make you better, not stunted or held back.

You stay found by letting the past fall away a little bit more everyday and by letting the present take its place – by letting the good of what is replace the painful nostalgia of what's past.

You stay found by keeping yourself diligently and deliberately invested in whatever life you've chosen, even on the days when you want so desperately want to fling yourself back into the no-mans-land of being lost. Because the truth is, being lost is the easy part.

It's staying found that takes strength.

It’s the sticking it out that takes strength.

It’s the daily commitment to the new, uncertain life that you’ve chosen that takes every ounce of energy you have left inside you.

But it’s that same energy that grows you. The same strength that begins mapping your course. The same perseverance of character that makes the no-mans-land you once arrived at someplace comfortable. Some place familiar. Some place less like a random set of coordinates and a whole lot more like home.

If you can just stay found long enough to let it be.TC mark

A Comprehensive Ranking Of The Top 18 Most Insane Things Donald Trump Has Said

Posted: 04 Oct 2015 09:33 AM PDT

Modified from Flickr / Gage Skidmore
Modified from Flickr / Gage Skidmore

With all the stupid stuff Donald Trump says, it is hard to parse the regular intensity stupid stuff with the really really stupid stuff. Here at Thought Catalog, however, we are going to attempt to do the deed of providing the world with a comprehensive ranking of the 18 most insane things Donald Trump has ever said. Buckle up.

18. Typical creepy and nonsensical Donald Trump

“My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well been documented, are various other parts of my body.”

17. Donald Trump: protecting America by swindling people on rent

"I rented [Muammar Qaddafi] a piece of land. He paid me more for one night than the land was worth for two years, and then I didn't let him use the land. That's what we should be doing. I don't want to use the word 'screwed', but I screwed him."

16. Yeah, whatever you say Donald

“I have a great relationship with the Blacks. I’ve always had a great relationship with the Blacks.”

15. The lady doth protest too much me thinks.

“Sorry losers and haters, but my IQ is one of the highest — and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure; it’s not your fault.”

14. Trump talking about Megyn Kelly during the first debate

“You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes. Blood coming out of her wherever.”

13. Donald Trump being v. creepy

“You know, it doesn’t really matter what [the media] writes as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.”

12. Trump’s jokes about banging his daughter are getting kinda weird

“She does have a very nice figure . . . if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”

11. Not-so-casual sexism

“If I were running The View, I’d fire Rosie. I mean, I’d look her right in that fat, ugly face of hers, I’d say, ‘Rosie, you’re fired.’ We’re all a little chubby, but Rosie’s just worse than most of us.”

10. More sexism

“Arianna Huffington is unattractive both inside and out. I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man- he made a good decision.”

9. Donald Trump as a “birther”

“Why doesn’t he show his birth certificate? There’s something on that birth certificate that he doesn’t like.”

8. His “explanation” of why he opposes gay marriage

“It’s like in golf. A lot of people — I don’t want this to sound trivial — but a lot of people are switching to these really long putters, very unattractive. It's weird. You see these great players with these really long putters, because they can’t sink three-footers anymore. And, I hate it. I am a traditionalist. I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be gay, but I am a traditionalist.”

7. Trump should burn science textbooks with that Senator who carried a snowball onto the Senate floor

"It's freezing and snowing in New York. We need global warming!"

6. You probably know this one

“When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems to us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people.”

5. Yup, still more sexism

“Look at that face! Would anyone vote for that? Can you imagine that, the face of our next president?! […] I mean, she’s a woman, and I’m not s’posedta say bad things, but really, folks, come on. Are we serious?”

4. Oh, now The Donald is also an anti-vaxxer

“I am being proven right about massive vaccinations — the doctors lied. Save our children and their future.”

3. That time he gave our a Senator’s personal phone number on live TV

"Let’s try it. 202-228-0292. I don’t know, it’s three or four years ago. Maybe it’s an old number."

2. Donald Trump actually characterizing mass-shooters as “geniuses”

"Because you have sick people. [Mass-Shooters] happen to be intelligent. And, you know, they can be sick as hell and they're geniuses in a certain way.”

1. Donald Trump thinks McCain is a big loser for being captured

“He’s not a war hero. He's a war hero because he was captured. I like people that weren't captured.” TC mark

24 Of The Most Romantic And Heartbreaking Pablo Neruda Quotes

Posted: 05 Oct 2015 01:31 PM PDT

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1.

"I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul."

2.

"Don’t go far off, not even for a day, because — because — I don’t know how to say it: a day is long
and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station
when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.”

3.

"Like a jar you housed infinite tenderness
And the infinite tenderness shattered you like a jar.”

4.

"Suddenly I think I can make out your nails, Oblong, quick, nieces of a cherry: Then it’s your hair that passes by, and I think I see your image, a bonfire, burning in the water."

5.

"I searched, but no one else had your rhythms, your light, the shady day you brought from the forest;
Nobody had your tiny ears."

6.

"I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close."

7.

"Love is so short, forgetting is so long."

8.

"No one else, Love, will sleep in my dreams. You will go,
we will go together, over the waters of time.
No one else will travel through the shadows with me,
only you, evergreen, ever sun, ever moon."

9.

"Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little."

10.

"You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep spring from coming."

11.

"From your hips down to your feet
I want to make a long journey."

12.

"When your hands leap
towards mine, love,
what do they bring me in flight?
Why did they stop
at my lips, so suddenly,
why do I know them,
as if once before,
I have touched them,
as if, before being,
they travelled
my forehead, my waist?"

13.

"Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too."

14.

"I no longer love her, that’s certain, but how I loved her."

15.

"My struggle is harsh and I come back
with eyes tired
at times from having seen
the unchanging earth,
but when your laughter enters
it rises to the sky seeking me
and it opens for me all
the doors of life."

16.

"Here I love you.
Here I love you and the horizon hides you in vain.
I love you still among these cold things.
Sometimes my kisses go on those heavy vessels
that cross the sea towards no arrival.
I see myself forgotten like those old anchors."

17.

"In love you loosened yourself like sea water."

18.

"But I love your feet
only because they walked
upon the earth and upon
the wind and upon the waters,
until they found me."

19.

"Green was the silence, wet was the light, the month of June trembled like a butterfly."

20.

"Through nights like this one I held her in my arms. I kissed her again and again under the endless sky."

21.

"Then love knew it was called love.
And when I lifted my eyes to your name,
suddenly your heart showed me my way."

22.

"In one kiss, you’ll know all I haven’t said."

23.

"Now, now too, little one, you bring me honeysuckle, and even your breasts smell of it.
While the sad wind goes slaughtering butterflies
I love you, and my happiness bites the plum of your mouth."

24.

"I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees."
TC mark

Purchase Pablo Neruda’s “One Hundred Love Sonnets” on Amazon HERE

You’re So Vain, You Probably Think This Article Is About You

Posted: 05 Oct 2015 02:10 PM PDT

trangxng92
trangxng92

We read to relate.

People like me write to relate, too. I write to get things off of my chest, I write because I think that other people around the world might feel the same way and that hopefully I can put their feelings into words to help them feel like they aren't alone. I write because I love it. I write because there is so much to the human experience and I have something to say about it. Sometimes I am lucky enough to have a lot of people who are willing to hear what I have to say.

But I don't write to validate the feelings, actions, or beliefs of other people. I don't write to "get back" at someone, to expose someone, or to call someone out on a behavior that they have exhibited.  I don't write to publish all my deepest, darkest secrets on the internet like some kind of perverse diary.

And I don’t think I am alone when I say that I don’t do any of those things.

Sometimes I don’t write about me or my life at all, let alone any specific person at all. Sometimes I do write about me and my life, and maybe even something inspired by you. But to assume that certain subject matter can be directly linked to one single situation or one single person can just lead to misunderstanding.

Just like in high school or college research papers, you cannot prove your claim on one single source of information. A lot of my writing stems from a variation of experiences and people that wrap my brain up into an idea that is then exploded onto a screen and sent to my editor at Thought Catalog. Sometimes an article really has nothing to do with my life, or anyone in it. The thing is – we are all paranoid with being called out for the behavior that we exhibit and the way we act and react to things. I think this goes both ways for the reader and the writer.

I am constantly paranoid that just because I write a sad love article, people will think it’s about my current life, when it may not be at all. I also think about how when an old fling or an old friend reads one of my articles about ditching that friend who sucks or how you might find love one day, or even how you are #ForeverAlone, they will think that it is somehow inspired by them or their actions, and me writing that article was my passive aggressive way of reacting to it (which is never the case).

I wouldn’t actually have these thoughts if I haven’t been approached before by people who are close to me, assuming that every single word written is somehow a personal confession about them written for the internet and all of its people. I take the experiences in my life and use them as inspiration for what I can share with the world. My writing is the collaborative birth of personal experiences, friend's stories, random encounters, and just thoughts that pop in my head that make me think, "this will make people think, too."

When I write, I am never afraid to answer the question, “Was that article about me?” When deciding to publish something, whether it’s goofy or gut-spilling, I write with the confidence that if someone were to assume that it was about them, I could answer comfortably. There are times where I am sure that we stop ourselves from saying or posting or writing certain things because we know that we wouldn’t be comfortable answering the question, “Was that about me?” There is a level of vulnerability out there that is something that even as a writer who is proud of their craft, can't open up to just yet. These are the secrets, the feelings, the thoughts that we hold so dear to us, that even as we begin to write them on the page, we tell ourselves “this is about me” or “this is about them,” and it takes a certain kind of person to be able to share that with the world.

That is the beauty of having the freedom to choose to express our thoughts in person, online, and in writing. And while I have that freedom, I understand the consequences. There are reasons why I don’t write about certain subject matters or opinions that I hold. I understand that some people will just assume something is about them and feel good about it or bad about it. I understand that some people may not agree with me and remove me from their life.

I understand all of this, which is why I write fearlessly but cautiously, knowing that some people might think it is about them and I have to be prepared to answer that lingering question. It always made me curious when acquaintances would tell me that they read most of my articles that I post. It made me curious to think what they thought when they read the articles, and who they thought I was because of what I wrote.

I think when we are confronted with things like this, the assumptions that people draw from you or the things that you do, it just confirms that the society that we live in now is more about the individual experience. It is more about “What does this have to do with me?” versus the enjoyment of the writing and opinion pieces that are out there to consider. We live in a world in which we constantly think that other people care and think about all of the wonderful, awful, ridiculous things that we do on any given day. In reality, no one really cares more about you than yourself. Sometimes the best way to put yourself in check with that is when you are freaking out about something embarrassing that you did and say to yourself, “No one really noticed. And if they did, they will probably forget about it because no one else cares more about this moment in time but you.” We are self-consumed society, and as a both a reader and writer, it is hard to disconnect yourself from that aspect of human nature to truly experience life in peace.

I used to wonder about how the people that songs were written for felt when they assumed or confirmed that a song was about them. I used to wonder how the artist felt when they released that song exposing how they missed someone or loved someone or hated a person's guts. I used to wonder about all of these things, and how these people felt, but now I know. And I wouldn't trade that knowledge for anything. TC mark

16 Signs You’re Completely Addicted To Caffeine And It’s Whatever

Posted: 05 Oct 2015 03:42 PM PDT

penguinpuff
penguinpuff

1. You actually look forward to going to bed, because you know that the sooner you fall asleep, the sooner you can wake up and have your first cup of coffee or tea.

2. The attachment you feel towards your Keurig or coffee maker is unlike anything you’ve ever felt for any other appliance.

3. Every time you think you’ve kicked your caffeine addiction, it takes just one thing to bring it right back: finals, a stressful work project, Monday, etc.

4. The only thing that gets you to work in the morning is knowing that you can have another coffee or tea as soon as you walk in the door.

5. Even if there’s an annoying coworker in the office kitchen, you’re willing to risk it if it means a steaming cup of caffeine at your fingertips.

6. Soda is child’s play.

7. But desperate times call for desperate measures. So if you’re nowhere near a coffee shop, you better believe you’re at least going to snag a Coke out of the nearby vending machine.

8. Nothing enrages you more than Caffeine Free soda. What is the damn point?

9. “One day I’m going to give up caffeine. But today is not that day.” -You, Every Single Morning.

10. Pretty much any attempt you’ve ever made to kick your caffeine habit resulted in you lasting for 3 hours before a headache kicked in and you quit.

11. Every day is National Coffee Day when you have a serious caffeine dependency.

12. Starbucks and Dunkin’ Donuts and Tim Horton’s should build you a damn statue for all of the money you’ve thrown at them over the years.

13. You don’t care much for merchandise that says stuff like “Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee!” Partially because it’s cheesy, but mostly because it’s TOO REAL.

14. David Lynch’s quote “A bad cup of coffee is better than no coffee at all” is basically the way you live your life.

15. You’ve had more days than you’d like to admit in which you simply lost count of how many cups of coffee, tea, or soda that you drank.

16. “I won’t have any caffeine over the weekend” is a lie you’ve told yourself approximately 326 times so far in your life. TC mark