Thought Catalog

14 Women Explain Why They Stopped Giving Blowjobs After They Got Married

Posted: 09 Nov 2015 07:00 PM PST



“I never liked giving blowjobs, ever. I don’t mind licking and teasing, but I want to do it for a few minutes and then move on. I was torturing myself with this because I wanted to be a good girlfriend, but it would take him 45 minutes to cum and then my jaw would be sore all the next day. After a few years of being together I got more confident and I didn’t worry about “losing” him because of what I did and didn’t enjoy in bed.” — Sophia, 29


“Honestly, I’m so busy all the time I haven’t even thought about oral in a long time. We both work full-time and have young kids, it’s hard to juggle everything. We rarely have date nights and have sex maybe once a month — and then it’s like, time to get down to business. Neither of us do oral.” — Charlotte, 34


“At this point I’ve been with my husband 8 years and he’s gone down on me a handful of times, and that was only when we started dating. At this point, I’m no longer interested in giving him a one way deal.” — Ali, 32


“We used to both enjoy oral. Now he’s obsessed with porn that features aggressive blow jobs. I have no interest in this. It scares me a bit, honestly. He doesn’t want to do regular BJs so I don’t do them at all.” — Olivia, 30


“My life is so stressful and I never feel like I get a break. I’m working all day and then I’m with the kids and making sure they have everything taken care of and figuring out meals and cleaning. The BJs tapered off as the resentment towards my husband began to grow. I pull so much more of the weight in our family than he does. Why should I have to give him BJs too?” — Marissa, 33


“To be completely honest, I don’t really like my husband anymore. It’s one thing to have occasional sex, since it can be impersonal (we don’t usually kiss or anything) but oral is so intimate, I can’t bring myself to do it.” — Chloe, 25


“I don’t enjoy sex the way I did when we were dating. It was fun and exciting then, but now it’s like, fuck we haven’t had sex in couple months so I feel guilty and make it happen, but blow jobs are a level I can’t even aspire to right now.” –Lisa, 28


“He takes forever to cum and I got sick of it. I would give him blowjobs every other day if he could figure out how to cum in like 7 minutes.” — Jackie, 26


“My husband is mad the blow jobs have stopped, but he doesn’t turn me on anymore. He used to court me and compliment me and make me feel sexy and desired. Now he just expects things and doesn’t say thank you. I can’t remember the last time he’s told me I look nice, let alone sexy. I can’t muster up the energy to do oral because I’m not feeling the sex in general.” — Rachel, 31


“We’ve been together so long we’re experts in getting each other off. Our sex routine is short and sweet, and that works for both of us because we can squeeze it in and we’re still doing it a few times a week. At some point we just stopped experimenting and playing around and doing all the foreplay stuff. We get in and get out.” — Emily, 36


“This is kind of silly because I know he enjoys them, but whenever I would give him head my husband would just lay there and never make a sound. Just like lay down for 15 minutes as if he was in a coma and then get up and do something else. I get that’s he’s focusing but he can’t give me a grunt or a groan or anything? It’s a lot of work to do and if he doesn’t seem to be LOVING it I don’t really see why I should have to do it.” — Jenny, 27


“I can count on one hand the times I gave him head while we were dating, so it’s not like it stopped, it’s just never been something I like to do and he’s always known that.” — Caroline, 30


“My husband made a comment about my BJ skills a few years ago. He apologized profusely when he saw how crushed I was, but I just never got my mojo back in that area. Every time I think about it I get anxiety about whether I’m going to give him a shitty BJ and how much better his previous girlfriends must have been.” — Christina, 33


“I’ll give my husband BJs in the morning but not at night. He likes to drink, so if it’s an occasion where we went on a date or it’s a holiday or something (which is when we generally have sex) he’s probably had a few and it takes him forever to cum. I told him it was off the table if he’s had any liquor because I was tired or how much my jaw hurt. I wasn’t even in the mood for sex after.” — Nikki, 32 TC mark

UPDATE: Terrifying Facebook Post Leads To Discovery Of Brutally Murdered Mother And Her Missing, Disabled Daughter

Posted: 09 Nov 2015 05:59 PM PST


Latest Update

November 9, 1:46pm CST

Hello, friends. After allowing things to settle down after the madness that was those few weeks last June, I have returned to cover the Gypsy Blancharde murder case as it progresses towards trial.

I spoke with a great many people regarding this case, from major media outlets to true crime podcasts to Gypsy’s own defense attorney and the lead detective. The amount of information I amassed over those weeks was staggering. It was a little surreal to haul all that stuff out and revisit this fascinating, heartbreaking case. But fortunately this particular case seems to be moving forward fairly quickly in terms of setting hearings and dates, so with the knowledge that Gypsy’s pre-trial hearing would be held today, I hopped a Greyhound Bus and traveled the winding highway 44 from St. Louis to Springfield, Missouri.

While in town for the hearing, I had the fortune of meeting up with Aleah Woodmansee, a local girl who had been very close with Gypsy for several years. We had been staying in communication via Facebook messages (much like she and Gypsy had been) but it was a pleasure to meet her face-to-face. After chatting about the case a little, we went out for dinner at a local Springfield restaurant.

Instagram Photo

Aleah described Gypsy as someone she’d shared a special friendship with. In Facebook messages, they referred to each other as “sisters” and even discussed her relationship with Nicholas. There was no mention of the planned murder or any violence whatsoever.

This morning, we attended the pre-trial hearing together. In attendance was the prosecuting attorney Dan Patterson, Godejohn’s attorney Dewayne Franklin Perry, Gypsy’s attorneys Clate Baker and Mike Stansfield, and Godejohn and Gypsy themselves. (They are currently being tried together.)

The first thing I noticed when Godejohn entered was that he had his hands folded as if in prayer and kept them that way. He seemed very intense and worried.

When Gypsy entered, Aleah was understandably emotional. She hadn’t seen her in years, even before the murder took place. I did my best to comfort her.

Gypsy looked somewhat lost. Her weight and health look good and her hair is growing back fast. She now wears a more modern pair of glasses, as opposed to the huge glasses that are featured in the pictures where she’s “ill”.

The first issue that was addressed was the death penalty, which explained why Nicholas was so nervous. The prosecution announced they would be waiving the death penalty for both cases and had no plans to pursue it in the future.

At this, Nicholas mouthed “Thank you, dear lord, thank you.”

After that, the prosecution announced that there was an alarming amount of information and evidence that they’ve provided the defense, who need more time to go over it. He suggested another pre-trial hearing where more questions could be answered/addressed upon the defense completing their review. The defense agreed, and a new pre-trial hearing was set for January 11, 2016, at 1:30pm.

It was a noticeably short hearing but given the amount of evidence it makes sense the defense would need more time. The suspects were escorted out and well, that was that.

I, for one, am relieved the death penalty was waived. I believe considering the circumstances it was not necessary. From there, though, we’ll have to see where the prosecution goes. With the death penalty off the table, the next harshest punishment would be life in prison without possibility of parole.

In the meantime, I will continue to do research and follow this case as it progresses. It’s moving along quickly, as I said. So it looks like in January I’ll be back to Springfield and hopefully the next hearing will have a little more meat to it.

As stated before, if anyone has any information they’d like to submit regarding the case (anonymous or otherwise), feel free to email me at

Springfield, it’s been a pleasure. TC mark

17 Women On The ‘Dirtiest’ Thing They’ve Ever Done (NSFW)

Posted: 09 Nov 2015 05:58 PM PST

via Flickr - Mario Antonio Pena Zapatería
via Flickr – Mario Antonio Pena Zapatería

1. “I once gave a blowjob to an ex-boyfriend behind a gas station and we weren’t even getting gas. Absolutely he remembered what he’d been missing.”

Erin, 25


2. “Let a guy eat me out in a public parking lot. It was during a concert so everyone was inside but this was without a doubt one of those moments I don’t want my father to ever hear about.”

Jenny, 22


3. “I had done anal with my ex-boyfriend before but it never really did much for me. After we broke up I hooked up with a friend who wanted to do it and when I told him I’d never really enjoyed it he said ‘let me try.’ He then positioned my desk in front of a mirror in such way that when he bent me over it all I could see was my own face and body. Then, when I was about to cum he started to lightly choked me. I literally fell down I came so hard.”

Daria, 24


4. “Once dated a guy that would come into the shower and put his fingers in my vagina and lead me to the bedroom that way when he wanted morning sex.”

Jennifer, 26


5. “Let my boyfriend cum in me and then straddled his face. We hadn’t talked about doing that before, totally spontaneous. I must have cum three times while he was cleaning me up.”

Shelly, 27


6. “Was with a regular FWB who was a demon in bed and felt totally submissive to him. Ended up telling him ‘this is your pussy’ over and over and over. I think it turned me on even more than it did him. I don’t think I’ve felt as open and full since.”

Mia, 28


7. “There is nothing hotter to me than my bf cumming inside me. This might be tame to some people but looking him in the face when he’s cumming in me is the biggest turn on.”

Paula, 23


8. “Had sex with my college boyfriend when I knew his roommate was watching us and jerking off.”

Veronica, 21


9. “Pretended to be his secretary and got under my man’s desk while he was working on a Saturday and sucked his cock while he kept working. Definitely plays into my sex in public places fetish and my submissive tendencies.”

Erica, 32


10. “Pegged my boyfriend with the dildo I usually use on myself while calling him a ‘bitchboy’. What can I say, I have a thing for dominating men.”

Tameka, 28


11. “Told a guy to eat my asshole in a public bathroom stall. He did.”

Jamie, 20


12. “One night when I was both drunk and high my boyfriend at the time started fingering me and putting more and more fingers in. Before I knew it he was slowly trying to fist me. It hurt but at the same time the feeling really turned me on. I ended up soaking the couch with his entire hand in me about ten minutes later. It was never something I thought I would have liked but damn did I like it.”

Fannie, 23


13. “This might be something that not everyone can understand but sex when you’re pregnant is amazing. I asked my husband to cum inside me everyday for weeks after I started showing. In my mind he was getting me pregnant over and over again. Something just so hot about it.”

Gina, 33


14. “I once let a guy cum in my mouth and then spat it back in his mouth. Turnabout is fair play, guys!”

Haley, 25


15. “Went to a swinger party once and had sex with three different strangers in under an hour while blindfolded. I won’t lie, this was off the chain amazing although I never went back because I could easily see that becoming a lifestyle for me.”

Linda, 29


16. “A few years ago, I used my dildo on my boyfriend while giving him head. Talk about a power trip.”

Talia, 24


17. “A guy once went down on me while I was sitting in a lawn chair on his front lawn right after everyone else, including his wife, went inside because the bonfire was out.”

Michelle, 28 TC mark

How To Leave A Place Before You’ve Actually Left

Posted: 09 Nov 2015 05:45 PM PST

Twenty20 / charityvictoria
Twenty20 / charityvictoria

Arsène Wenger is the manager of Arsenal FC – the English football (soccer) team I fell in love with as a child and continue to support in adulthood. Wenger, widely considered a philosopher of the beautiful game, said the following in an interview: The only possible moment of happiness is the present. The past gives you regrets. And the future, uncertainties.

If there is a common theme among intelligent and insightful thinkers in their commentary on happiness, it is that it is an experience of the present. This perspective, I think, is more true than false. But I also think that in order for one to go on day by day, one must generally believe and have hope in tomorrow.

But I also think that in order for one to go on day by day, one must generally believe and have hope in tomorrow

Whether a person gets into a deep (non-clinical) depression or melancholy, or gives up entirely on a dream or a person or a thing, hope (along with faith), is the last defense that must be defeated. Without hope, which though is distinct from happiness, but can be argued as a necessary factor in maintaining happiness, the desire to live, to love, and to continue, is lost.

But what if you have hope – the belief that an uncertain future can be better, but you do not have happiness in the present? And what if you went as far as to trade in the present (security of) whatever happiness you do have, for the uncertainty of the future? This, I’ve often found, is what happens when you’ve left a place before you’re actually gone.


The plain truth about being ready to leave a place before you’re actually gone is this: You spend much more time living in the actual future than living in the present (or the past). There is a caveat, however: the future seems more real than the present. Indeed, it is not the best way to live but it is also how you know this place is no longer for you; no longer yours.

The love that you’ve found and the lessons you’ve learned are not enough to keep you here. But you want to live in the real present again, you need to live in the present again. And you can longer do that here; the present is no longer here.

It ceases to matter how much you love a place or the people, if you stay, and stay longer than you should, you will eventually experience resentment more than anything else. It is best to leave a thing or a person or a place before you begin to resent it; before it begins to feel like it has taken more from you than you had to give.

Before you’re already gone, it will feel like your work here is done. For you, it will feel like there is nothing left to be learned or loved or endured or appreciated; all that is left is waiting. And waiting will feel like a punishment. And it might even elude you, that you do in fact have another lesson left; you have one more thing to endure – patience.

But what is not left is happiness. You’ve already given that up. Traded it in for anxiety and uncertainty. And for you, it is worth it. Giving up your happiness is worth it for the hope of your possibilities. The anxiety and uncertainty of the future is not enough to diminish these hopes. And that’s how you know you’ve already left – you would rather live in the uncertainty of fear than in the security of whatever happiness you had in what used to be your present.

Giving up your happiness is worth it for the hope of your possibilities.

Perhaps it is foolish and unwise and a bad investment. But either way, the risk has already been taken. Either way, you’re no longer here – you’re there. Here is now past tense. Here is now already a memory; the story you have begun to tell yourself is about a place that you used to know.

Happiness, indeed is a thing of the present as Wenger and many thinkers throughout time and space have cautioned. But when you’re ready to leave a place before you’re already gone, you’ll know one final thing for sure: It is not that you do not know how to be happy here, it is that you no longer wish to be happy here anymore.

But your hope isn’t gone – it’s elsewhere. Your present and your future is elsewhere. Your physical body is merely waiting to join you; your physical body is merely waiting to join your happiness and your hope. TC mark

Davey Wavey Made An Awesome Video About Sexual Racism Every Gay Guy Needs To Watch

Posted: 09 Nov 2015 04:58 PM PST

Davey Wavey, the cute as fuck YouTube star who makes videos about gay life, recently posted a thing called “Gay Guys React To Racist Grindr Profiles!” that is an important perspective about this issue that all gay man should see. In the clip gays (including the fabulous Todrick Hall who did this Beyoncé flash mob at a Target!) read the text of real, actual Grindr profiles and react to the racist stuff that’s said.

Here are some poignant highlights:

“Vanilla or spice, no chocolate or rice.”


“And Asians, prease reave me arone.”


“Is there a block all black button?”


“I’m white and attractive so sorry but if you are anything less (i.e. not white) you’re not worth it. Just a preference sorry.”


Mind you these are real, actual things real humans have typed out loud about other people. If you can’t see the racism embedded in these phrases…

Racism is difficult to unlearn if you don’t tackle it first hand. And in some ways it’s better for people to spell out their racism so that you know which idiots to avoid before it’s too late. The best thing, though, would be to not have these thoughts in the first place.

I have never heard a single argument in favor of race-based sexual exclusions I can get behind. “It’s just a preference” doesn’t even begin to cut it because preferences are always shaped by our surroundings, by culture and they are distilled to us every single day of our lives through television, film and other media. And most popular media is lily white. Don’t even get me started on that whole “I don’t like Asians just like I’m not attracted to women” line, the most basic argument I have ever heard because now you’re saying being gay is a matter of choice.

The problem when brown gay men speak on sexual racism is that, in general, we are told by the white gay establishment that our experiences are invalid, that we are just angry and should let people have their preferences and live their lives. They should and they will. They have the luxury of saying that, though, because without fail and in nearly every country in the West a white gay male is unlikely to open up an app or go on a dating website and see anti-white profiles. He will open up a gay magazine, go to a gay website, see a gay movie or television show and there he will be. Always.

That’s why I think this Davey Wavey video is so cool. I wonder if white gay men might listen more closely now that one of them has pointed out how ridiculous and harmful sexual racism is.

Loving each other should not be a matter of “preference.” TC mark

7 Reasons You Should Date Someone Who Makes You Laugh

Posted: 09 Nov 2015 03:56 PM PST

Monkey Business Images
Monkey Business Images

1. They keep your mind sharp.

Everyone knows we’re supposed to exercise to keep our bodies healthy and in shape…But couldn’t you apply the same logic to your brain? Someone who makes you laugh is also going to be the person keeping you on your toes with their natural wit and intelligence. When you’re with them, it’s like a cerebral game of ping-pong, seeing who can make the other laugh more. And personally, I find the idea of hearing jokes far more appealing than running on a treadmill.

2. Awkward moments won’t stay awkward very long; they just become inside joke material.

Let’s be real, life is often sprinkled with some pretty awkward and downright embarrassing moments. None of us are immune. But when you’re with someone who constantly makes you laugh, the awkward stuff dissipates quickly. You can tease each other about it, let it become an inside joke, something you can reminisce over, and (definitely) cringe about as you do so.

3. Boring is a thing of the past.

They can make even the most mundane activities enjoyable. So what if date night doesn’t include helicopter trips over cityscapes, but instead, it’s an adventure in the *PaaaAaaaAarty alarm goes off* GROCERY STORE!!!! Seriously, doesn’t matter what the two of you do together, you’ll be in hysterics the whole time.

4. You likely understand each other in more complex ways.

Sharing a similar sense of humor with someone goes beyond just, “Oh, I think this person is funny.” It also means you have a shared understanding of one another. And that’s hugely important in a relationship.

5. You’ll live longer.

Okay, so I can’t necessarily stand by this with any sort of “money back guarantee” — but laughter is the best medicine. And hey, it’s a prescription you won’t overdose on! Win-win! (But also get that real medicine when you need it. Don’t try to just laugh your pneumonia away, FOOL)

6. They know how to laugh at themselves.

Being with someone who can laugh and not always take everything so seriously is such a goddamn gift. So many things in life ARE serious, so it’s refreshing to be able to relax, joke, and not worry about offending someone. If they know how to make you laugh, they’re also probably pretty okay with occasionally being the bud of the joke.

7. They don’t mind being ridiculous with you.

Silliness is a massively underappreciated aphrodisiac. You can be weirdos together, and real talk, that’s attractive. They aren’t concerned with what people around are thinking, they just want to have fun with you and make you smile. It’s like getting to be a kid again; you’re not concerned with keeping up appearances. You’re just enjoying one another, and all the bizarreness that entails. TC mark

Life May Be Messy, But It’s Perfect

Posted: 09 Nov 2015 02:59 PM PST


Some days you are going to wake up and things will feel calm. Your vision will be clear, the world will be yours. You will dance upon the ashes of your past and your body will ache with an overwhelming feeling of joy. Other days, you will have a hard time twisting your scars into lessons. Your bed will seem like the safest place on this whole entire planet, and the sky will be riddled with clouds that look just like your mistakes.

There are going to be days where your bones feel heavy under the weight of all the love you hold within yourself, and this will be a good thing. You will be thankful for your ability to feel, for your ability to give to another human being a love that is flourishing and alive underneath your skin. Then will come the days where you feel like you have nothing left within you to give; the days that remind you of how much you had before you lost it all, how your affection was never properly reciprocated. You will wonder if you love too deeply, you will wonder if you care too openly.

On either of these days it is important to remember that you cannot control the randomness of life, or any of its fickle flashes. Some mornings you will wake up to a sapphire sky and you will breathe, you will cry. On others you will rejoice, you will laugh with all of the vigor in your body. There are going to be moments in life that propel you forward, and there will be those that grab you by the ankles and drag you three steps in the opposite direction. Love will build you the most exquisite house made of paper and glass just to blow it down; it will grow you and it will tear you apart in the process. On most days it won't make sense, and that is the point – life is a mess. Everything about it is a giant hurricane that we will never truly comprehend, that we will never be able to contain, but that is what makes it so stunning, that is what makes it perfect.

As William Lear famously said, 'It’s all a mess – the hair, the bed, the words, the heart. Life.' It is all a mess, but we cannot deny the fact that it is magic. We cannot deny the fact that it is frustrating and stunning, empty and full at the exact same time, overflowing with opportunities to feel and grow and swallow the sun whole if we truly wanted to. We must remind ourselves that life is never going to slow down, it is never going to simplify, and we must come to terms with that – for if we search for routine, the ordinary will kill us before the sadness does.

Embrace the entropy in life. You were bred from storms, that is why you are primarily water. You were created from white hot heat and from atoms that will never stop vibrating and shaking within you, so do not vilify your heart when it quakes, do not condemn your life when it surges and when it falls. Embrace its pulse, and the randomness of it all, embrace its disorder.

Life is a mess — yes, but my god, is it ever a beautiful one. TC mark

9 Shitty Things Fraternities Have Done In 2015

Posted: 09 Nov 2015 02:00 PM PST

Pixabay / kuszapro
Pixabay / kuszapro

1. Fraternity members kidnap and beat up man before stuffing him into the trunk of a car

On November 4th, local police responded to an incident where seven fraternity members in West Virginia University’s chapter of Phi Gamma Delta kidnaped and beat up a helpless man before shoving him into the trunk of a car as a “prank.”

Witnesses say that the brothers restrained the man with duct-tape before forcing him into the trunk. The students will be charged with disorderly conduct in criminal court.

Incidentally, all greek life was officially suspended at WVU last year after 18-year-old Nolan Burch died two days after a “catastrophic medical emergency” incurred during a Kappa Sigma pledge event. Maybe WVU should just consider suspending greek life again — this time for good.

2. Brothers don’t just party, they can sing too!

Last March the University of Oklahoma chapter of Sigma Alpha Epsilon was in the news after a video of some brothers singing a blatantly racist song went viral:

“There will never be a n***er SAE, there will never be a n***er SAE. You can hang him from a tree, but he’ll never sign with me, there’ll never be a n***ger SAE.”

The lyrics suggested that the members would rather lynch an African American than admit one to SAE, and it was met with outrage on social media and, well, everywhere else too. The chapter was shuttered by the national organization, and two students were expelled from the University.

An investigation by the University of Oklahoma’s Department of Student Affairs found that the chant had not randomly developed in isolation at OU, but rather, had been taught to brothers while at a national SAE conference:

University of Oklahoma Investigation and Findings
University of Oklahoma Investigation and Findings

3. “White girls only” party

The Sigma Alpha Epsilon chapter at Yale University has been under fire recently for allegedly denying entry to girls of color because the frat was “only looking for white girls.”

The chapter vehemently denies the claim, and both the University and national organization are investigating the allegations. Below is one of the original social media posts that triggered the outrage:

While Neema has since revised her initial story, leading some to doubt it’s authenticity, there have been half a dozen additional comments of other people sharing their equally terrible experiences with Yale SAE.

The kicker? This chapter of SAE isn’t even officially affiliated with Yale University at the moment due to violations of the school’s sexual misconduct policy “during an initiation ceremony.”

4.  Pending suit claims fraternity stood by while girl was assaulted

A case that is working its way through the court system claims a fraternity turned a blind eye, and perhaps aided, a brother in sexually assaulting a University of Tennessee girl.

Youtube / chattanooga
Youtube / chattanooga

The alleged assailant was a member of the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity. The whole thing began before a fraternity party, when the brother in question texted his ex-girlfriend to brag that he was going to get back at her by having sex with her friend, who he was bringing as a date to the party.

He had a pledge in the fraternity drive them to the event. The pledge offered both he and the girl alcohol multiple times, which the girl consistently declined. Once they got to the party, fraternity members forced her to drink, and circled around them chanting, “F*ck her! She doesn’t care!”. At some point in the evening, the man brought the girl into the bathroom and sexually assaulted her, breaking one of her teeth in the process.

The man then transported the girl back to her dorm room, where she threw up from over consumption, and took a picture of her that he sent to his ex, saying that “we had sex, and it was great.”

The legalisms of this case have been especially messy, in part, because of suspicions that not all the relevant evidence was passed on to the correct authorities.


Pi Kappa Alpha International Fraternity, or PIKE, claims that there are “factual misrepresentations” in the suit.

5. Oh look, another fraternity that can sing!

Maybe the Acacia fraternity at Ohio University was getting worried that people were starting to think SAE was the only frat that could sing, when they decided to give a sexist serenade to the Alpha Delta Pi sorority.

The video was originally recorded and reported on by OU senior, Olivia Hitchcock, who saw and heard the musical number on her way back from the library.

Kate, a student at Ohio University, told Thought Catalog:

It was disrespectful to the sorority, and it’s an embarrassment to our school. The fraternities represent our school and the fact that they did something like that only furthers the bad opinions of our school that many people have.

Shit like this also just contributes to the objectification of women and rape culture on campus. Indeed, perhaps unsurprisingly, a 2014 petition called for the OU chapter of Acacia to be banned due to numerous accusations of drugging women and rape associated with the organization and its members.

6. Weird-ass graveyard ritual = assault

Four members of the Johnson C. Smith University’s Omega Psi Phi fraternity were found guilty of simple assault after a prospective member reported their bizarre pledging process as hazing.

The 20-year-old victim told about how a large part of the pledging process was going to cemeteries, as well as other locations, and getting hit over and over again with wooden paddles.

The injuries from the assaults got so bad that the victim had to be hospitalized.

7. Not what you would typically think of as “Greek art”

Ya know, with all the media attention given this year to dumbass signs hung from buildings by dumbass students, you would think we would have all learned something by now.

Nah, bro.

In a sad attempt to goad Alabama Crimson head coach Nick Saban, this sign was hung by a Texas A&M fraternity in reference to Saban’s daughter, Kristen.

Like, is there anyway this isn’t completely tasteless?

8. Cocky frat bros try to steal donkey statue, beat the shit out of the guy who tries to stop them.

Five University of Mississippi in Pi Kappa Alpha were arrested on assault charges after beating up a member of a rival fraternity.

The five students were attempting to steal a donkey statute from the rival frat, when Jeremy Boyle — a member of said rival — attempted to stop them. In the altercation that followed, Boyle suffered a concussion, broken teeth, a ruptured eardrum, and lung contusion.

The mug shots of the students are particularly disturbing, as the boys grin ear-to-ear only hours after beating an outnumbered student to an “inch of his life.”

Public mugshots via Gawker
Mugshots via Gawker

While the incident includes five guys from one frat trying to steal property of another frat, the fraternities insist the altercation had no connection to them, and have expelled all five from their ranks.

9. Frat takes its obscenity to the internet

The Kappa Delta Rho (KDR) chapter at Penn State insists that they were just using their Facebook group called “Covert Business Transactions” as a communication medium for their organization. However, it was a communication medium was riddled with photos of naked, unconscious women, with comments on them like: “banged her lol,” and “Lol delete these photos or we'll be on cnn in a week."

The scandal exploded in the media last March, and the brothers honestly seemed to struggle with what they did wrong.

Philly Mag: You said the page was funny. What was funny about it?

KDR member: It's not funny. Funny's not always the right word. It's satire. There's a certain stereotypical Greek life culture and, as you see in movies, people try to live up to that and people try to kind of incorporate those elements, but it's like, you know what Snapchat is?

Philly Mag: Yes.

KDR member: Yeah, like you get a Snapchat, and people send like raunchy Snapchats all the time. … It's not a malicious type of thing …It's like, yeah, girls pass out or fall asleep all the time and somebody takes a Snapchat or picture and, like, it's not that it's funny. But it's just satire. (Source)

I…don’t think this kid understands what “satire” is.

New evidence has since come forward that the chapter funded itself by selling prescription drugs, and engaged in intense hazing behaviors, like forcing pledges to drink alcohol mixed with hot sauce and urine.

By the end of the investigation, 38 brothers were expelled from the fraternity and Kappa Delta Rho was suspended from Penn State for at least three years. TC mark

I Am A ‘Netflix and Chill’ Type Of Girl, And That’s Okay

Posted: 09 Nov 2015 01:00 PM PST


I am a ‘Netflix and Chill’ type of girl. I am the girl who you text when you are bored and alone and want someone to put your arm around. I am the girl who goes to your house and knows exactly where the evening is going (heck, that’s why I said yes in the first place). I am the girl who smiles and waves hesitantly to your housemates as we walk past the living room doorway. The one they refer to as "the girl he’s seeing". The one who will go halvsies on a pizza, and expect to get exactly their half, because fair is fair and I paid too, dang it!

But I am not the girl who needs you. I am not the girl who is hanging onto your every word. I am not the girl who pretends to care about your new FIFA high score or how many pints you had last Saturday. I am not the girl who sits up alone in bed late at night with my makeup still on, hoping to get that message from you asking what I’m up to or how I am doing. In fact, I can go days without seeing you, and that is fine. I have my own life, and so do you. I understand that.

What do I want? I want to be able to go out with my friends when I want and where I want. I want to laugh freely and openly, without caring who is watching. I want to be able to dance my heart out, beer in hand, hair flying, and embrace everything that I feel. I want to be able to flirt with that cute guy in the corner who I caught checking out my butt. Or, I want to be able to spend a whole night totally ignoring guys and gossiping with all of the girls in my life that I love. I want the freedom to be who I am, and not worry about how that looks or the impression that I give.

I like spending time with you, and I like that we have the bond only sex can create between two people. But I am not a girl who needs, or wants, anything more from you.

I want to be able to leave town at the drop of a hat and go somewhere completely new with my best friend. I want to try out that little cafe on the corner with the funny name. I want to sit in a pub at three in the afternoon and laugh with the group of old men who are sitting at the bar. I want to sit in the park with a book for hours, letting the warm sunshine caress my face and hearing the kids on the playground laugh with their parents. I want to sit in my room in the biggest pair of pajamas possible and watch the scariest movie I can think of while eating an entire pint of Ben and Jerry’s by myself. I want to be able to take time to myself when I need it, and the world becomes to much. I want to be me.

I like seeing you. I like getting those texts from you and the warm feeling that they give me. Yes, I’ll admit it, it makes me happy to get them. I like seeing your room in its natural, messy state, and feeling like I am seeing the raw you, no holds barred. I like the way your arm snakes around me as we snuggle into your bed and pick up where we left off on that show we both love. I like the feeling of you kissing the back of my neck while you grind your hips against my back. I like how you sweet you are to me when we are together, and how you share the most random things with me, because you know I might tease you, but I’ll never really judge you. I like how comfortable we are together. I like how none of our friends know exactly what we are to each other, because neither do we. I like how even though you always pay for my taxi home, it is a thoughtful gesture rather than a requirement.

But let me be clear. I don’t need you. I don’t need a text saying "goodnight" from you in order to feel like the world is OK. I won’t wait all night for a message from you, and I won’t go to certain places just because there is a chance I might see you. I won’t always respond to your messages, and I won’t expect you to always respond either. I like spending time with you, and I like that we have the bond only sex can create between two people. But I am not a girl who needs, or wants, anything more from you.

Don’t get me wrong, I love going on adventures and sharing random, sometimes meaningful, thoughts with a person who means the world to me. But I also love going over to your house and knowing that I’m in for a relaxing (and probably sexy) evening with someone who knows just what I like. Because to me, that is fun too. This is me living my life, and I don’t need anyone else to make it complete.TC mark

It’s Definitely Okay To Get Drunk On A Monday With Your Girlfriends Sometimes

Posted: 09 Nov 2015 12:00 PM PST

Twenty20, adventure.whisperer
Twenty20, adventure.whisperer

Sometimes it's completely acceptable to grab your girlfriends and pour glasses of Salted Caramel Smirnoff mixed with root beer on a Monday night.

Why? Life sucks sometimes, and you just have to.

You don't go in with the intent of getting drunk, it just happens. You grab yourself a big mason jar, fill it with a good amount of vodka since it smells like one of those caramel apples you get fresh from the pumpkin patch, and then add ice and root beer and a little striped straw to make it look cute.

You grab some fatty snack foods, because why not? And you start talking about why you hate your part-time job, how your boyfriend just doesn't get it, and how you're not even sure what you want to do with the rest of your life. You know, those no-big-deal-I'm-just-freaking-out type of conversations you can only have with your girlfriends.

You start sipping. But then it just tastes so damn good and before you know it, the glass is half-empty and you're feeling a little dizzy. You start thinking about all the happy things—sleeping in your super-soft bed, the frozen pizza you've decided in this moment (10:22pm) that you absolutely need, and your boyfriend. Wait, why were you even mad at him in the first place?

Your anxieties melt away like a stick of butter in the microwave. You start to feel like a little, warm puddle. The decisions of what teaching jobs you'll apply for, where you're going to live when you're done with school, and whether or not your relationship has long-term-long-distance-potential fade to the back of your mind.

I'll be fine, you tell yourself. You hiccup. You giggle. You start feeling like the smartest person in the entire world. And as your friend goes into this confusing, slightly long-winded story about this girl at work who is a complete b-word, you suddenly know exactly what to say. One minute you're sitting across the table, sipping your striped straw like a civilized woman, and the next you're across the table, giving advice and snuggling on her shoulder like a little pet monkey. You just want to love and be snuggled.

Your friend's boyfriend comes home, laughs and shakes his head at you. I'm twenty-two, you rationalize. I'm completely fine. You don't work for at least…seven hours, so there's time to sober up, right? You have nowhere to go or be right now, you can just…relax. Weird, you forgot what that feels like.

You pour yourself another glass, and your two friends do the same. You snack on cashews and look out the upstairs window to the quiet street. The rest of the world is tucked away in their little beds. They're missing out.

You talk about everything and anything on your mind, from what you're eating for lunch tomorrow to your late grandfather. You take slow sips, feeling your ears warm and the carbonation bubble up in your stomach. And you stop worrying about things you can't control and live, just for a brief slice of time, in the moment.

It's freeing, getting drunk on a Monday. One of those spontaneous, semi-reckless, but absolutely necessary decisions. Sometimes in life you just have to pull out the mason jars, the bottle of vodka, and the matching striped straws. Sometimes you just have to take a second and throw some drinks back—for your sanity, for your social life, and for your happiness.

Sometimes there's nothing better on a Monday night than acting like a little kid, laughing about nothing, wrapping your arms around your girlfriends, and sipping on grown-up root beers way past your bedtime. TC mark