Thought Catalog

30 Dirty Little Poems That Will Make You Want Sex In Five Seconds Or Less

Posted: 12 Nov 2015 07:00 PM PST

Shutterstock, Mayer George
Shutterstock, Mayer George

1. Your dick is a dream
Erect, it's a fantasy
Can I blow you, please?

2. Cumming on her face
Isn't really degrading
If she asks you to

3. Thanks for existing
You’re the woman of my dreams
Mount me already

4. Fucking's essential
Because it feels so damn good
Oxygen, less so

5. Put your mouth on it
Suck with everything you've got
Then wait your turn, girl

6. "Is it in yet, dear?"
Is quite a silly question
You won't need to ask

7. Hot as fuck, you think
She's sexual dynamite
Your goal: insertion

8. Take her from behind
Not like a dog, but a god
That needs a pounding

9. I want your body
Like right now, not tomorrow
Massively horny

10. Sex now, you and me
It’s not that I’m that easy
Creaming my panties

11. One whiff of your scent
And I'm face-deep in your crotch
Until you climax

12. Sex with a stranger
Sometimes, it's the way to go
No names, just pleasure

13. Touch yourself for me
Then I’ll ride you like a horse
I make you happy.

14. Getting wet, I see
Your pussy—my tongue, my dick
Ready for seconds?

15. Testicles need love
So give him a ball massage
Then call him your slave

16. Undress already
I like you better naked
Jiggling your boobies

17. Touch me all over
Then plunge it deep inside me
Like that! Yes! Yes! Yes!

18. Worship my body
And don’t overlook an inch
Bow down and submit

19. Fantasize with me
Strip me naked, handcuff me
Tell me I’m a whore

20. Nipples are the key
Pinch them, suck them, twiddle them
She’s not your mommy

21. More dirty words, please
Say them, whisper them, listen
Let yourself go, and…

22. Every single night
I dream of you, masturbate
Solo sex routine

23. Don't call me twisted
You make me want it so bad
So I beg, and beg.

24. Vagina, penis
Connected, literally
Now make me coffee

25. Find her clitoris
Dive right in and start licking
Don't stop til she screams

26. You are folding clothes
You look calm. Then, in a flash:
You are getting fucked

27. She wants it, of course
She's a naughty forest nymph
Fuck her good daily

28. Let's experiment
Down the rabbit hole, just us

29. I see, taste, smell you
“Give it to me now,” I say
No rules, no regrets

30. When you fuck me right
The world gets brighter, better
Cum again some time. TC mark

Relax: You Are Going To Fall In Love Again

Posted: 12 Nov 2015 06:00 PM PST


Right now you think you're never going to fall in love again. I know.

I know that it's not because you're skeptical – you see, you aren't doubting your worth or selling yourself short. You know that you're perfectly loveable – that someone else is going to take interest in you and want to be with you again someday. You know that.

It's just that something's missing inside you. You've forgotten how to love another person properly – how to give and receive affection freely, because your last relationship broke you.

I know you hate phrasing it that way. It sounds horrendously melodramatic to use the word 'broken' in reference to yourself – you're still a person, after all – fully capable of living and loving and carrying on with your life. You never call in sick to work. You put your pants on one leg at a time in the morning. You're a strong, productive member of society. It's not as though you're falling apart.

But something inside of you doesn't fit quite the way it used to. You don't feel butterflies so easily these days. You don't grow weak at the touch of a hand. Being with other people feels empty – bleak where it used to be bursting. Dull where it used to be bright.

You've forgotten how to stay up late at night texting someone you're interested in. How to spend hours getting ready for a date. You can go through the motions of intimacy – you're still a human being, after all – but you've lost the ability to feel emotionally naked or exposed alongside someone new. The part of yourself that you were once able to give away so easily is absent and you just cannot figure out why. You wonder if it's going to be absent forever.

I'm here to tell you that it's not.

Of course I can't say this with 100% confidence. I'm not a fortuneteller or a prophet. But what I am is a person who has been heartbroken. A person who's been disenchanted with love. I'm a person who has been where you've been and felt what you've felt and made it through to the other side.

Because the truth is, love comes back. You just aren't ready for it to, yet.

You aren't ready for love because you can't stop comparing current lovers to past ones. Because the spark, the magic, the fire that you're aching to feel isn't an organic emotion that you're searching for – it's an attempt to reconstruct the exact flame you once had with someone else.

You aren't ready for love because the intimacy that you are aching for your heart to feel isn't a genuine opening up – it is a desperate aching to be understood in the exact way you were once understood by someone else.

The emptiness, the flatness, the disenchantment that you're haunted by right now is not a stark indication that your life will be absent of love forever. It's only an indication that your heart is absent of the very specific form love you're still aching to have. And that idea of love is precisely what you have to let die, before a new one can blossom.

Before love comes back, you have to rid yourself of your expectations of it. You have to let go of the particular mental mould you’ve forced it into. You have to stop waiting for love to arrive in the specific, pre-determined way you have planned for it to, before you will be ready to welcome the real thing in.

Because here's the thing about the next time you fall in love – it's going to take you by surprise. The real stuff always does.

You'll be surprised at who it happens with. You'll be surprised about how it unfolds. You'll be surprised that love feels nothing like the way you remember it and yet there it is – a new and completely different beast.

The reason love has not showed up for you yet is because you keep plugging the wrong numbers into a worn-out formula that stopped adding up long ago. You are searching for love in all the places you lost it and until you accept that it is not there, you're going to keep coming up empty-handed. Because here's the truth about where and when you'll find love again:

You'll find love once you're happy without it.

You'll find love when your heart and your spirit and your mind are so filled with passion for the world around you that you're practically bursting at the seams. You'll find love when your interactions with others are easy and calm and not desperately aching for the end of being cared for and admired. You'll find love once you're finally able to give it away, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

You'll find love once you're ready to show up to your life with your whole entire heart – every hour of every day.

And until then, it's okay to take your time. It's okay to do your healing. It's okay to be lonely and tired and confused about when love is ever going to find its way back to your life.

Right now you may think that you're never going to fall in love again. But there was a time when you thought you'd never fall out of it, either.

You were wrong then and you can be wrong again.

Except this time, being wrong is going to be unexpectedly and unequivocally beautiful. TC mark

You Were My Friend, My Teacher, My Electricity

Posted: 12 Nov 2015 05:00 PM PST

twenty20_afe84665-0a93-40bb-bcec-46a3d51fd526 (1)
Nick Bulanovv

Summer will always remind me of hot, sweltering nights, spent drinking sangria and looking through the dripping fairy lights of your bedroom window. A sticky, starry sky looked back at us, the glow of the moon almost golden in the heat. Fourteen meant we weren’t growing up fast enough and a liquor cabinet key seemed to hold the answer to that problem.

You taught me how to drink that night.

(You also showed me how beautiful it was to inhale and hold your breath till your head spins and reality seems like it is going to fade further and further away. And then exhale all your unhappiness in a single breath to feel brand new. Even if it was for just a little while.)

Eight summers ago I met a boy who told me how much like summer I was. He was big boned and thin skinned and the first time I told him he wasn’t mine and I wasn’t his yet, he left handprints in purple, yellow and red on my skin. When I told you, you made me take my shirt off so you could take care of them properly. You said they reminded you of a canvas covered in autumn leaves that you once saw in an art gallery. Then you proceeded to break every single window in his house (yes, even the one in the attic he loved so much.)

You taught me how to smile through heartbreak that night.

(You also showed me how to breathe through the broken pain that came from a pair of violent hands that didn’t know how to grow self respect in any other way but to use them on someone who loved them.)

The day they told you that you were sick, we took our easels up to the woods that stifling summer day seven summers ago, and didn’t speak until we were both finished our paintings. I just painted a face, badly as always. When you showed me what you had made, I saw angry slashes of red across a vacant canvas, a pair of scarlet lips open in its center, as though in a silent scream. I saw you and your face was shiny…not with sweat, but with tears. “What is it?” I had asked you, and you had looked at me in a way I had never seen before, your voice almost a whisper, “Me.”

You taught me how to paint that day.

(You also showed me how to breathe life into a thing even though the life inside you was beginning to flicker against the breeze.)

It has been six summers, seventeen days, and twelve hours since the most beautiful service I have ever seen. Your mother was pale and so quiet, but always graceful in her kindness, in her wisdom. She asked me to speak about you. She asked me to tell people who you were.

If she had given me a year, maybe I could do justice to you. After all, how do you define a person when they have transcended to being a feeling that exists in every corner inside you?

So instead, I told them about our favourite movie, where a man had been held without trial for a crime he never committed and forgotten on a prison island somewhere in the middle of the ocean. I told them about how deeply you felt for him when he slowly lost his powerful faith in God, and how one day…he escapes, almost drowning, to wake up on a beach with the sun in his eyes for the very first time in fourteen years. I told them about that moment, the incredible electricity, the unadulterated elation we had both felt in the second for him.

To me, you are the beach where I found my freedom. To me, you are the electricity I felt in that moment. To me, you are the elation one feels where their entire world, their life, their whole being changes for the better.

That is what you were to me. That is who you will always be.

In the end, you who taught me how to be so much more than a short summer’s read. In the end, you who taught me how to live a life that was full of a thousand stories. TC mark

This piece was originally published in ThickJam, a literary journal published by Andrew Lipstein.

The Real Reason Why We’re All Afraid Of The Dark

Posted: 12 Nov 2015 04:00 PM PST

Flickr / kyser sose
Flickr / kyser sose

I'm sure that I'm not the only one that has to turn a light on before I enter a room. For me, though, I can't even be in the room when I turn the light on. I have to be in the hall, face turned away from the darkness, and slide my hand around aimlessly in search of the switch that will fill the dark void with light. I've done this for as long as I can remember. The thought of walking into the darkness paralyzes me. I fear what I cannot see. What may be standing in wait within the shadows.

When I enter a dark room I can — or at least I think I can — see the figure of something standing in the corner. Sure, it could be nothing. But what if it's something?

My parents always tell me to grow up and to stop being such a child. What do they expect? Sure, I'm 15 and shouldn't be scared of the dark anymore, but I am. Because I know that I am never alone in the dark.

My little sister Annabelle has even begun to adopt my custom of turning away from the dark rooms as she searches for the light switch. At seven-years-old my parents find her fears to be more sound, but still blame me for her eccentricities. It's my fault my little sister is scared of the dark.

But if my parents knew what I know — what lies in wait — about the shadows then perhaps they wouldn't be so quick to condemn me. At first, I thought that maybe they were right. Maybe it was just my imagination running away with me. Maybe I had watched one too many horror films on Netflix. But, that's not the truth and I would be remiss to act as if it were.

Like I said, I don't know for sure when this fear started. Not even really sure why I'm thinking about it now. It has always been second nature to me. To stand in the safety of the light while only my hand is exposed to the dangers that lurk in the darkness is my way. Now it's my sisters, too.

It's not just the fear that I may see one of the shadows move, but I can feel their eyes on me. I can feel them waiting for me.

The other night I went to Google and searched for other people like me. People that saw these shadow figures. The ones that move in the corner of your eye but are gone when you turn to catch them, almost as if they were never really there at all. The ones that cross the street when you drive down lonely roads at night — perhaps why people crash without obvious cause. Even the one with the hat and the long coat.

I'm not alone in my fear. Neither is Annabelle. Still, my parent's refuse to even entertain my fears. They even grounded me from my computer when I told them what I had found.

"Melissa," my dad yelled from downstairs. "I still see a light on up there!"

Finally, my hand found the switch and flipped it on. As soon as light filled the black void of my room, I switched off the hall light. "Going to bed now," I told him.

"Okay, make sure Anabelle brushes her teeth," he shouted back.

The fact that I'm 15 and share a bathroom with my seven-year-old sister should bother me. I should want privacy. But I don't. I like taking comfort in the fact that my sister’s bedroom and mine are separated only by the bathroom. We can open each of our bathroom doors and turn on the light within there to let radiance into our own rooms. We have even moved our beds to be close enough to the bathroom that we can sleep in the light.

"Melissa," my sister said as I entered the bathroom to brush my teeth. "Why do I have to brush my teeth? It's so boring!"

"Because if you don't your teeth will fall out and no one will like you," I teased.

"Jennifer will, so will Kaylee. They'd like me no matter what I looked like."

"Maybe, but no boys would like you."

She grabbed her pink Cinderella toothbrush and put a dab of paste on it. Before shoving the toothbrush into her mouth she said, "Daddy says I can't have any boyfriends anyway."

I chuckled at this. Dad had had the same rule with me. I learned early on that you just don't tell him that you have a boyfriend. Mark and I had been dating for almost six weeks and dad had no idea. Before Mark Camwell, it was Brandon Jaspers. But that ended the second Brandon let Janette Morrison wear his letterman jacket.

"Melissa," Anabelle said through the foam in her mouth. "I don't like when they watch me sleep." Her voice lowered and there was a slight tremor that made my hairs stand on end.

"You still have that flashlight I gave you, right?"

She spit out the foam from her mouth, "Yeah, but if I use it, they'll know I'm awake."

"Well Mom and Dad are both working tonight. What do you say you bunk with me?"

"Really? Can I?" Anabelle began jumping with excitement.

I wrapped my arm around her neck and pulled her with me playfully into my room. Truth was, I was just as excited about her bunking with me as she was. I hated sleeping alone just as much as she did.

The dark amplifies that aloneness. In the light, you are safe. However, in the dark you're completely vulnerable. You can't see the eyes that remain hidden, watching your every move. You can see nothing but the silhouettes of the shadows as they move. They're there. You can feel them. Still, in the dark you never really see them.

There Are Two Types Of Girls: Why Girls Who Prefer Dogs Make The Best Girlfriends

Posted: 12 Nov 2015 02:00 PM PST


It is mildly terrifying to adopt your first dog, but once done, a girl with dogs becomes a very special type of person. If you want a girlfriend that understands several important truths about life, you want to date a dog owner. Girls who prefer dogs not only make the best girlfriends, but make pretty exceptional people to have around no matter who you are. Here's why.

They love to play.

Yes, play! The concept of play is something many adults lose touch with as real life stifles their creativity and joie de vivre. But not girls who love dogs. To have a dog is to be able to drop what you're doing, even when you are up to your eyes with work to play. The day is short and to sleep well, we need to get a bit silly. Girls who love dogs have the ability to let go of order in order to be free to play.

They understand there is no substitute for affection.

You can feed a dog the most expensive food, exercise it regularly, take it to the groomer, but without affection, your pup will be morose. Girls who love dogs know that we need to take time out of the day to snuggle and express our feelings. Words are great, but actions, displays of affection are what matters to a dog. Date a dog-lover and you will be showered with affection. Actions speak louder than words (and are a hell of a lot more fun).

They know that sometimes, a treat is necessary.

Sure, maybe that adorable dog did nothing to earn that treat, but life is short. Eat the treat! Dating a dog lover means knowing when to indulge and when to give for the simple joy of giving. She might make you shake or roll over first, but she just wants to make sure you're paying attention.

Dog-loving girls crave adventure.

What was a dog built for if not to accompany you up the steepest mountains and then to enjoy the most beautiful views? Dog-loving girls love to get outside, run full-speed, and sniff out all of life's most pleasurable pursuits. Sure, we can go the same routes a few times, but a dog-loving girl is one who will always push you to take a new path. We've got to find out what's at the end, right?

They do not sweat the small stuff.

So you got a little dirty or maybe you pulled a dog hair (or 6) out of your food? So what! Dog-loving girls are fearless and they certainly do not let hairy situations stop them from doing anything. Things get spilled, clothes get ruined, hair gets messed up, but in the end, it's always worth it because we are together and alive. A dog-loving girlfriend is one you will not have to kill spiders for.

They are always learning new tricks.

Dog-loving girls aren't satisfied to be who they were yesterday. Mastered all of your current tricks? A dog-loving girlfriend is the one who will sign up for dance class, cooking class, float a raging river, or read the newest graphic novel. A dog's mind is happiest when it is occupied, and so is a dog-loving girl's. What good are smarts if we don't use them? These girlfriends love to learn, and will value what they can learn from you.

They define loyalty.

Dog-loving girls know that loyalty is bred from love, and once you're in their heart, you're there for good. Even if things don't work out, dog-loving girls usually keep a special place for you (so long as you didn't betray them, in which case, look out for teeth!). Having a dog-loving girlfriend means having someone who will always get your back, stand up for you, and do what is in your best interest. Dog-loving girls understand responsibility, and with love comes responsibility to protect. These types of girlfriends will keep your trust safe and tirelessly champion you once you earn their love. Happiness is a warm puppy and a loyal girlfriend.

They make friends easily.

Dog-loving girls are friendly beyond compare. They are the girls who include everyone and make them feel welcome. Right along with not sweating the small stuff, they understand that some people might growl at them, but they remain unphased. If having your friends like your girlfriend is important, a dog-loving girl is one that makes easy connections, as she sees the joy in every wagging tail and wet nose.

Dog-loving girls are a beautiful breed. If you're lucky enough, you might get to experience what it's like to have one of these girls jog by your side and lick your face. What more could you want? TC mark

Just A Friend? 5 Clues There’s Something More Between Your Girl And Her Male Bestie

Posted: 12 Nov 2015 01:00 PM PST


1. She’s suddenly ambiguous about who she’s hanging out with.

You've been with your girl for a while and you know she's a talker. You know her girlfriends, you know all about their lives (you know that Dana's guy is a jerk, that Melissa is looking to land a man, and that Jodi has issues). So when your girl tells you that she's going out and you innocently ask "with who?”—if she tells you "a friend," consider it a warning sign.

2. She no longer texts you constantly.

At the beginning of your relationship, communication was at its peak. You received a constant slew of early morning texts, phones calls just to say “I love you” midday, late night sexts, etc. Then, there’s a sudden drop in her efforts—a steep decline from regular check-ins and thoughtful updates to nada. Why? Because she’s spending her time communicating with her new “friend,” that’s why.

3. She doesn’t even complain anymore.

She used to complain now and then because she was taking the temperature of your relationship. She would say you didn’t care about her anymore, and that she wanted to spend more time together. When the complaints suddenly stop, it’s not because all is right, necessarily. Think about it. She has her new “friend” to talk to, her “friend” to vent to, her “friend” to share stuff with.

4. She offers to include you in her plans (knowing you don’t want to be).

You notice that she's been hanging out with her new friend a lot more, staying longer at the gym or late at the office. When she asks you to go out and you shrug her off because the game is on, she isn't even upset. She just casually tells you she’ll be going out with her new male bestie. “Don't worry, he's just a friend,” she says. Then halfheartedly suggests that you join them. You politely decline, and sense that she’s delighted.

5. She stops sharing information with you.

One night you finally decide to go out with your girlfriend and meet this “friend.” You take one look at him and figure he's harmless—you're much better looking, you definitely have more to offer—and that he's not worth being jealous over. But you quickly realize that he knows way more about her than you do at this point. They have a rapport. You’re no longer Number One. You're not her person anymore. There’s a new man in town. TC mark

Some Relationships Are Worth Fighting For, But Some Aren’t

Posted: 12 Nov 2015 12:34 PM PST

Alyssa Amelia
Alyssa Amelia

Fact is, relationships are complicated and making the decision whether to stay or to leave is one of the most difficult choices we're asked to make. The important thing to understand is that there are many different kinds of love and not all of them contribute to a healthy, balanced relationship and life. Despite what we've all been told, there are certain kinds of love not worth fighting for.

Yes, love is patient and love is kind, but occasionally it is controlling and cruel. Sometimes it can be fickle and capricious, always coming and going without delivering a thing you can depend on or be sure of. The concept that the only "real" kind of love is steady, simple and passionate is a misconception at best and damaging at worst — if you choose to believe that anything less than perfect isn't love, you're certainly going to live a hollow and lonely life. Instead, learn how to recognize the downfalls and difficulties in your relationship and differentiate between those you can fix, those you can't, and those you are willing to put up with. Only then can you make an enlightened decision on what is best for you.

Alyssa Amelia
Alyssa Amelia

Remember, regardless of how unhappy the relationship makes you feel, your fear of letting go is valid and nothing to be ashamed of. Because no matter how badly you are being treated, it still hurts like hell to leave. No matter how monotonous and uninspiring the relationship, it will still feel impossible to replace. You will still miss them long after you're gone, regardless of the circumstances of your departure.

But that doesn't mean you've got to hold on, that it's worth all the sacrifice, that it's worth a life. When heart and loyalty have given way to jealousy and mistrust. When passion is replaced with predictability and routine. When love becomes more about hanging on than making each other happy, it's time to let go and move on. TC mark

Alyssa Amelia
Alyssa Amelia

13 People On How Their Lover’s BFF Is Killing Their Romance

Posted: 12 Nov 2015 12:00 PM PST amyjhumphries amyjhumphries


"My girlfriend's best friend is like her conjoined twin—they are joined at the hip and we literally can't go anywhere without her best friend tagging along like a desperate puppy. Somebody help—her best friend comes with us everywhere! When I got involved with my girlfriend, I didn't think I was signing onto a package deal, or I never would have signed on in the first place. Her friend just jams her way into everything we do like a crowbar trying to break into a locked door. She's like a movie monster—'The Thing That Wouldn't Leave.'"

—Matt, 28



"My boyfriend's best friend is a total over-the-top super-obnoxious bro that I want to punch whenever I see his fucking face. He's like Jersey Shore level but worse, if you can even imagine. He's a womanizer, douchebag, dudebro, and prick all wrapped up in the same cologne-scented package. Makes me wonder how much of the Single Jerk is still in my boyfriend, you know? I wonder how much of my boyfriend is still all 'bros before hos' and never grew out of being a frat boy. He spends more time with his 'main bro' than he does with me. When he's around him, it's like he's 14. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with a 14-year-old. Half the time I think they're gay for each other."

—Cyndi, 24



"My girlfriend's so-called 'BFF' is so catty, she needs a litter box. She talks shit about my girlfriend to me and talks shit about me to my girlfriend. She's read The Secret and is always telling me that whenever something bad happens to me in my life, it's the result of me sending out bad vibes and that I must have acquired a lot of bad karma from my previous actions. I wish I could stuff her in a shoebox and send her to Mars. Best friends are like the mothers-in-law of dating."

—Kyle, 23



"My. Boyfriend's. Best. Friend. And. I. Just. Do. NOT. Like. Each. Other. At. ALL. Can't stand. For, like, even a minute. Hate him so much, I want to eat his face. It's like war. Like a test of wills. If me and my boyfriend's best pal could murder one another, I think we would. I've made it quite clear that I hate his best friend. It's like my boyfriend winds up being a referee between two teams. His best friend is, of course, single, and for multiple reasons that have everything to do with looks AND personality. But as bad as his looks are, his personality is even worse. He is dangling from a tiny string that hangs from the end of my last nerve. If I have to get rid of my boyfriend to get this other guy out of my life, it's becoming hard to see the downside of that."

—Jenna, 23



"My girlfriend LIVES with her best friend, and it's a GUY. Now, I'm not a naive person, but I don't think there's anything sexual going on. This is a guy that she friend-zoned about ten years ago but that she still uses for favors such as rides to the airport. These days she's a little down on her luck because her job hours got cut back, so she's renting out a room in his house. 'It's not my fault that my best friend has a penis,' she tells me. Once when she and I got into a really horrible argument, she said that if she had to pick between me and him, she'd pick him! She didn't mean as a boyfriend—she just meant that being friends with him came before being my girlfriend. But the problem is that I didn't offer her an ultimatum. She picked him over me without even being asked."

—Jim, 31



"My boyfriend's best friend is SUCH a fuckup! Sometimes I wonder how he's even able to get his underwear on and find his way to the refrigerator in the morning. I mean, what does it say about my boyfriend that his best friend is so worthless? You can tell a lot about a person by their best friend, right? I notice little quirks in how they both behave, and now I'm starting to hate them both because of it. My boyfriend's best friend has me starting to question why I even liked my boyfriend in the first place."

—Erica, 22



"The minute we had our first fight, my boyfriend called his best friend, who shrugged and said, 'Well, that's over.' He's always encouraging my boyfriend to break up with me and telling him that I'm beneath him. He's threatened by me because he doesn't have any other friends besides my boyfriend. He's always trying to hook him up with other girls. When I complain about it to my boyfriend, he just tells me to chill and that I'm taking it too seriously."

—Jess, 25



"I have absolutely NOTHING in common with my boyfriend's best friend. Nothing, nothing, nothing. I would not spend any time with him if given the choice. This is someone I'd never choose in a billion years to spend a minute of my life with if I wasn't obligated to do so. I don't like hanging out with him, PERIOD. I know that if he recommends a movie I will hate it, and if he says some club in town is great, I will do my best to avoid it."

—Amy, 21



"When we all hang together—which is far too often—my boyfriend ignores me completely. It's like I'm not there. It's like he suddenly switches into his real self and doesn't even see me. I become a ghost to him until he's back alone with me. It makes me feel like a second-class citizen in my own relationship. When you're in a relationship, your first priority should be your lover, not your friends. I don't care how long you've known them."

—Rose, 26



"This super-bitch openly insults me in front of my girlfriend, and my girlfriend never jumps to my defense. If they start drinking together, they feed off each other and actually BOTH start talking shit about me. Not cool. I hate when anyone disrespects their significant other in front of someone else. Totally uncool. I'm ready to dump them both and wash my hands of the whole mess."

—Marc, 22



"Her best friend is killing it by coming on to me all the time. She has sexted me, sent nude pics, winks at me, licks her lips and smiles, the whole nine yards. I've told my girlfriend, and she gets angry at me instead and accuses me of making it all up. And I'd fuck her best friend if I wanted to, but I'm not attracted to her. But I think her end game is to break the two of us up, and it seems to be working."

—Tom, 21



"OK, this is what I hate—whenever there's the slightest problem between me and my girlfriend, she runs sobbing to her best friend and shares every last detail. Women tell each other everything—far more than guys do. I don't appreciate this girl knowing every tiny detail about my dick, how well I eat pussy (or how well I don't), how I once cried and begged for her to come back, why I'll never talk to my father again, or just about any intimate detail that I wasn't willing to personally share with her. It just demolishes the trust."

—Ryan, 22



"When I told my boyfriend that he spends too much time with his best friend and not me, do you know what he said? 'Well, he's my best friend!' I told him that I should be his best friend, that lovers are more than just people who have sex and that they share each other's deepest secrets and have one another's backs in times of trouble. He just looked at me with his mouth hanging open like he didn't understand a word I said."

—Sarah, 33 TC mark

9 Things You Realize About True Love When You Finally Find It

Posted: 12 Nov 2015 11:00 AM PST

Twenty20 / nolimitpictures
Twenty20 / nolimitpictures

What those who have found true love know is that it is not an experience of total fulfillment or enchanted whimsy (and feeling that way doesn't necessarily mean it's true love, either). True love is actually about meeting another person in their purest form, and cherishing what you find. It's not something you discover by chance or fate, but something you cultivate. It's one of the greatest tools we have to reach our deepest selves, and to share the joy of what we find.

1. You are equals. This is simultaneously the simplest and most difficult thing to learn. Oftentimes one partner either sacrifices or demands more from the other. When this imbalance persists, it leads to resentment on one end, and a sense of entitlement on the other. True-lovers realize that their feelings and needs are no greater, and no less, than the other's.

2. You’re not lovers, and you’re definitely not best friends. You are family. So often we hear that the most successful relationships started out as friendships. But true-lovers know that their bond surpasses any friendship they could ever have, and that their physical intimacy as lovers is inextricably tied to it. They're family because their connection runs deeper than loving each other and liking each other, than making love and laughing. They are life fixtures that could never be replaced.

3. It’s not about how much you laugh together, but how much you cry together. (I promise I didn't get this from a fortune cookie.) True-lovers are willing to be vulnerable together. They're beyond the "I can't let you see me cry or think I'm weak," mindset, and that openness to each other's vulnerability is far more precious than anything else they share.

4. When you have ‘problems,’ you recognize it’s not something wrong between the two of you, but dissatisfaction inside yourself (or inside each of you separately) that interacts. Many relationships end when a set of problems just won't go away, when partners aren't willing (or even able) to adjust to the other's needs. True-lovers know that the problem isn't in their partners, but in themselves. Your needs and feelings are responses to the pain inside of you that's seeking healing or recognition from your partner. True-lovers consider what inside makes them feel the way they do, and if their own demands are causing their partner reciprocal feelings of hurt or inadequacy. They accept their responsibility, which is the ground for forgiveness.

5. Communication actually is key, but only if it’s honest. Openly discussing your insecurities, past traumas, and little daily hurts allows your partner to really glimpse into your heart, and have an appreciation and respect for what they see there. Likewise, resentment is the root of all evil. When communication ebbs away, or holds back parts of the truth, annoyances build up inside and resentment is born. True-lovers know this is the wedge that is most difficult to unstick, so better to never allow it to form.

6. You cannot change the other, and you would never try to. So many people think they can change their partners, to mold them into the image of perfection they've imagined. True-lovers never do this, because what they love is their partner exactly as they are. Yes, there are flaws and frustrations (opportunities to grow together), but those things only add to the other's humanness. Demanding that perfection is again a projection of the perfectness you wish was within yourself.

7. Things will change. Staying together is a choice, and it has nothing to do with romance or destiny. Romance is what we see in the movies, when the man runs in and proclaims the woman is his soul-mate and he could never be without her. That is not true love. In fact, this idea of love as a romantic destiny was thought up by troubadours cajoling their swooning, bored ladies. Romance is the stuff in stories, love is acceptance. As poet Kahlil Gibran said, love joins you but does not bond you. True-lovers recognize that they will change, situations will change, and their love will wax and wane, maybe even day to day. They know that staying together is a choice, and not predicated on falling in and out of that romantic, fated idea of love.

8. Your partner could never complete you, and expecting them to is not only selfish, but toxic. Again,cultural romantic thinking. Completion is internal. It's painful, delicate work inside your own soul. To expect it from another will be the thing that destroys the beauty in what you have. It puts a weight on them they could never carry, nor fulfill. True-lovers know they don’t need each other, but their love brings them meaning and companionship in the present moment.

9. Nothing could ever break you up. Not because your love transcends all things, but because you recognize your lover’s true humanity. You accept the good and the bad, and when one side is more in play, it doesn't make you forget the existence of the other. This is most important of all in discovering what true love is. True-lovers understand that everybody incorporates the duality of good and bad, because love, in particular, draws out the most extreme in both sides. When you have true love, you've seen your lover in their worst form. Maybe they cheat, or scream, or mock. But you won't judge or blame, because the bad doesn't blind you to when they comfort, support, and adore. When you come to know someone wholly, and accept their humanity as both special and flawed (and you still love them), then pretty much nothing could pull you apart. TC mark

7 Spectacular Tiny Homes That Will Make You Want To Downsize Immediately

Posted: 12 Nov 2015 10:52 AM PST


While our parents were fine parking their dreams in suburbs, our generation craves adventure and mobility. We never want to feel trapped or in a place where we are forced to give up our joie de vivre. What better way to keep our sense of wonder alive than through tiny house living? These chic, tiny homes afford us the flexibility to live life on our own terms. Here are 7 tiny houses for people with big dreams:

1. A gorgeous architectural dream (you can actually afford to own)


It's like a beautiful Tumblr post, but in real life. Who wouldn't want to sip coffee and work on writing the great American novel in this all white, modern interior? The small space and clean lines create a home that feels put-together and has a focused vibe for artists and creatives to thrive.

2. The retro trailer that means you'll always have a story to tell


At one point or another most of us dream of the open road. We want new cities, new people — desolate roads and beautiful views and the promise of making memories. This tiny house is a vintage aluminum trailer, it's ready to be our partner in crime in this adventure.

3. The getaway of your introvert dreams


Modern living isn't built with an introvert's needs in mind — but this tiny house is. Install it in your backyard for when you need an evening away from your family to read a book, work on a project, or just take a nap in peace. We know good fences make good neighbors, but I am even more convinced that good tiny houses make happier (and better) parents.

Check out more dreamy tiny houses you could own right now, here!