Thought Catalog

Thought Catalog


8 Thanksgiving Side Dishes, Ranked From Best To Worst

Posted: 25 Nov 2015 08:00 PM PST

Twenty20 / wettografie
Twenty20 / wettografie

Cornbread stuffing

The Holy Grail of Thanksgiving sides, cornbread stuffing is proof that something good came out of the (admittedly horrifying) Thanksgiving origin story, and that something truly incredible can be made out of slightly stale bread. Cornbread stuffing is, of course, superior to regular stuffing, because cornbread (especially with little kernels of corn in it) has that wonderful sweetness that is perfect when counteracted with things like onion, sausage, aromatic herbs, garlic, and delicious turkey/chicken stock. You can even go crazy and make it a jalapeno cornbread stuffing, although I admit that I am partial to the traditional Thanksgiving flavor profile (and Simon & Garfunkel lyric) of sage, rosemary, and thyme.

Regular stuffing

Regular stuffing is to cornbread stuffing as Harry Styles is to Zayn Malik. Not bad, by any means, but definitely not the star of the show. Regular stuffing is your standard-issue white guy in the group. There's nothing wrong with him, but you're not going to be fighting anyone to take home leftovers.

Roasted brussels sprouts

Perhaps this is just a liberal East Coaster side, as my red state family members never seem to break them out, but that doesn't mean they aren't an incredible dish. Roasted brussels sprouts are the attractive, smart date you bring to the family Thanksgiving celebration. Everyone is vaguely impressed that you brought them, and – as long as they are properly executed and crispy with a little bacon and candied nuts – they are going to be the surprise favorite of the evening. Brussels sprouts will never get into a fight about ISIS with your grandfather.

Mashed potatoes with gravy

Who doesn't love mashed potatoes? Literally only criminals and ghosts. Mashed potatoes are delicious, and the exceptional thing about gravy is that, even on your aunt's inarguably bland and shitty mash, it manages to work its magic. There is almost no mashed potato that cannot be saved by a half-boatful of good gravy, and that shit can go on to improve nearly everything else on your plate, if done right. (This of course means that whoever is charged with making the gravy better have their shit together, but usually people can pull it off reasonably well.)

Sweet potato with marshmallow

Honestly, I'm not even really sure how or why this ever became a dish, but I'm assuming that it came from the same crazy '50s cookbooks that advocated shit like shrimp in jell-o and topping your cakes with raw cream cheese. Either way, it's somehow stood the test of time, and although it is arguably not really deserving of being called a dinner item (it's honestly more of a dessert), it's usually pretty delicious. If a relative who can't cook makes it, at least you can pick off the toasted marshmallows, which is a saving grace most dishes can't claim.

Green bean casserole

Honestly, all dishes that are based on the concept of dumping Campbell's cream-of-whatever soup into the mix and topping it with some kind of crushed, fried item need to go the way of Crystal Pepsi. We have clearly evolved past green bean casserole, and unless you're making some elevated foodie version, you really have no excuse for putting this on your table. It's literally just a wobbly pyrex full of chemicals and sadness. And it's not worth the calories.

Canned cranberry sauce

The recipe for actual, real, homemade cranberry sauce is literally three ingredients: sugar, water, cranberries. If you're getting fancy you can throw some cloves and orange peel in there, but you don't even have to! It's literally the easiest thing in the entire world to make, and the difference in goodness between "gross, jiggly canned cranberry sauce" and "the stuff you took 10 minutes to make on the stove" is canyon-sized. Upgrade your whole life and get rid of canned cranberry sauce, because anything called a "sauce" that can be sliced into individual patties to serve is not something people should be eating in 2015.

The Sad Salad

There's always the one Sad Salad that someone brings because they're trying to be healthy and thus foisting their sadness on everyone else at the table. It's Thanksgiving, don't they know it's the time to eat carbs and animal protein by the ladle-full, and to serve yourself gravy out of something literally called a boat? It's not a moment for salad. So, of course, literally no one touches the salad, and everyone just watches it wilt slowly under its dressing as Aunt Carole gets sadder and sadder that no one is choosing to follow her on her Healthy Holiday Journey. Sorry, Carole. Pass the potatoes covered in melted sugar. TC mark

‘H’ Is For Hard: A Sexting Alphabet

Posted: 25 Nov 2015 07:00 PM PST

Screen Shot 2015-11-23 at 11.39.14 PM

Last night I was awakened with a story idea, and the little bird of inspiration wouldn't be satisfied until I woke my ass up and wrote it down on my phone to revisit in the morning. What was that oh-so-important idea, the one that woke me from my slumber just so I could give it its due?

"The A-Z of sexting."

Yep, that's right. "Jillian, write about sexting again!" chirped the inspiration bird. "You know all about it! You're basically an encyclopedia of dick pics and easy ways to get a dude all turned on and shit! Why not share your wisdom with others?"

Not a bad idea, honestly. Open up your notebooks, students, and let's get to work.

A is for Angles.

If you're sending a sexy photo to someone, it's good to know your best angles. For girls, lying on your stomach and taking a photo of your ass in cute underwear always works. For dudes, figure out which poses make your junk look its most appetizing.

B is for Booty Call, which is what sexting often leads to.

Sometimes, though, sexting can replace the act of the booty call. You can get off "with" someone without having to have another person in your space.

C is for Critique my Dick Pic, the ultimate resource for taking the best dick shot you possibly can.

Run by @moscaddie, it's a crucial reference manual for literally any dude. She critiques dicks with love and a trained eye.

D is for Dirty.

Tell that dude you want him to drag his cum across your face. Why not?

E is for Enthusiasm.

No one likes having sex with a dead fish! And no one likes sexting with one, either. Don't be half-assed about it. E is also for Emoji; it's not nice to respond to nudes or sexy texts with only an emoji.

F is for Fun.

Because sexting is fun. It's pretty much the most fun you can have on your phone besides playing the Kim Kardashian Hollywood game. It's like foreplay that you can do (basically) alone, so it's perfect for introverts!

G is for Garters.

A flash of stockings and garters via photo or video is like an instant boner for most dudes. It's OK if you, like me, only wear them for about 5 minutes before yanking them off.

H is for Hard.

Dicks get hard, obviously, and talking about how hard you are/how hard a dude was is an easy, never-fail sext. But also, sexting can be kind of hard – don't resort to clichés like "I'm going to fuck the shit out of you." Don't get stuck in Hackneyed (HA HA) descriptions and similes.

I is for Initiate.

Who starts the sexting? How do you even start? Maybe you recently had really good sex with this person and you want to repeat it. Text them that you can't stop thinking about when they _____. If you look really good that day, send a little teaser photo and get the ball rolling by hinting at what's underneath.

J is for Jerkin It

AKA what you do with your favorite sexts and/or videos after the fact when you need extra masturbatory material. Plus, asking "Are you touching yourself?" is always hot.

K is for kinky.

One of my dude friends said the best sext he ever got from a girl included her requesting that he "tie me up and tell me what a dumb slut I am." Even if you don't actually carry this out, it's still fun to fantasize about.

L is for Lame Sexting.

Dudes, going "what would u do to me if I was there lol" is not sexy. It's boring, it's half-assed and it puts all the focus on you. Don't be a lazy ass.

M is for Mistakes.

Be sure you're sexting the right person and not your roommate, coworker or a family member. It can happen!

N is for Natural Light.

It's always best. Don't send me a pic of your dick in a dark room like you're a troll or a mushroom. Use light to your advantage.

O is for One-Handed Typing.

Which is what you're doing if your sext session is working.

P is for Privacy.

Don't put your face in your nudies if you're worried about the other party sharing them.

Q is for Questions.

A little sexy Q & A is fun and informative. You can figure out what your partner likes simply by playing a game of 20 Questions.

R is for Reciprocate.

Studies show that women are more likely to send sexy texts than men. Ladies, it's not fair that dudes get to receive all the fun photos and texts you're sending; they need to give it right back. Sexting is a two-person game.


S is for Spell Check.

Get it right, get it tight. (That sort of applies, right?)

T is for Tits.

They never fail. You've got a great pair, so show them off. A few classic poses include:
• Arm over bare chest
• Bra pulled down so just a little bit of nipple shows
• Bra half-on, half-off
• Tanlines. (This is my go-to.)

U is for Unique.

Sext like you talk. Don't get too flowery, because no one wants a Danielle Steel novel in their text messages. Be yourself!

V is for Videos.

Never underestimate the power of a sexy video. Another dude friend once got a video of a girl doing yoga poses naked and he "jacked it a million times to that one."

W is for "Wet."

Why is wet such a sexy word? Saying how wet you are/how wet you want to make your partner is simple and forthright. Also, sending photos when you're actually wet, like emerging from the shower or lying in the bath, is never a bad call.

X is for X-rated.

What else would it stand for? It's just texting, so get as dirty as you want. Use words you might not say out loud. Go crazy.

Y is for You're Hot!

Don't be shy. The person on the receiving end of your sexts thinks you're hot as balls, so embrace it!

Z is for … jiZZ? (OK, I tried.)

TC mark

Happy Thanksgiving: An American Indian Perspective

Posted: 25 Nov 2015 06:15 PM PST

YouTube / National Congress of American Indians
YouTube / National Congress of American Indians

Wind, smelling of wood smoke rattles the yellow leaves off the peach tree. I adjust my glasses, button my coat. My son bounds from his classroom to greet me. Eyes filled with brown warmth, he peeks out from under a cap of shiny dark hair; it's the kind of black that shines red in sunlight.

"Mom, something about this isn't right." He is holding a construction paper headdress fashioned with hot pink and purple feathers. I nod, and run my hand through his hair, pushing the bangs off his forehead. Out of the corner of my eye I see children clutching construction paper pilgrim hats.

With his eyebrows curved in question marks my sons asks, "Have you ever seen an Eagle with pink and purple feathers?" And then we both giggle at the absurdity. It's both funny, and not funny. My son understands the seriousness of regalia, but at age seven it's not his job to carry the weight. As his mother that responsibility belongs to me.

November, the season of damp leaves, slanted sunlight and Thanksgiving is braided with Native American Heritage month. What started at the turn of the century to recognize The First Americans simmered on the back burner until 1990, when President George H. Bush approved a joint resolution designing November as "National American Indian Heritage Month." Similar proclamations have been issued each year since 1994. But thus far, the majority of those I meet within mainstream America continue to be unaware there is something to acknowledge other than the story of “The First Thanksgiving.”

I say this not only in sorrow, but in disbelief.

Why do so many families, parents and teachers in America continue to dedicate the month of November with a focus on perpetuating this myth year after year after year?

Native people are connected to history, to family, to land, culture and community. We are still alive. We are still here; we have not disappeared into the past, like the pilgrims did. All of the Elders I know tell me Native People have been giving thanks for as long as people have existed. After the corn was all dried, pumpkins sliced and the wild plums brought in it was a time for "giving thanks." When the food was together for the hard winter months and when the work was all done, they gathered.

We are still alive. We are still here; we have not disappeared into the past, like the pilgrims did.

Yet after the "Thanksgiving" holiday was coined and continues to be celebrated based on a story that does not include factual Native American history, “Thanksgiving” has become a time of mourning for many Native People. It serves as a period of remembering how a gift of generosity was rewarded by theft of land and seed corn, extermination of many Native people from disease, and near total elimination of many more from forced assimilation. As celebrated in America “Thanksgiving” is a reminder of 500 years of betrayal.

I'm within the assemblage of American Indians whose family and Native friends celebrate Thanksgiving. But our focus is not on pilgrims. We don't turn their lives topsy-turvy by making lengthy lists of things needing to be done for what has come to be known as Turkey Day. We aren't in the throng of those who go commercial in the planning. Our celebration is deep-rooted in a simple tradition. Honoring, remembering our ancestors, our history and celebrating the harvest. Our thoughts turn to the Wampanoag people. We feast and pray for the healing to begin.

Each year when the platter of cracked corn, turkey and the pies are brought out, I remember my grandmother's words. "Child," she said, "We're Indians, our culture has been scattered into odds and bits, yet Indian People are determined to keep our life ways alive."

Since no one knows when the “first” thanksgiving occurred, if it were up to me, I'd dedicate the entire month of November focusing on National Native American Heritage, to teach the rich histories of Native Peoples, and I'd let the pilgrims have a day all of their own, in December. TC mark


This article was first published as an invited guest essay at Mothering Magazine and it has been reprinted by Indian Country Today,  NAFCC  Native American Fair Commerce Coalition, The University of Arizona Press, River Blood And Corn Literary Journal and The Huffington Post.


16 Signs Your Partner Will Make An Incredible Parent Someday

Posted: 25 Nov 2015 06:00 PM PST

spooner
spooner

1. They validate your emotions. They do not correct how you "should" feel about something, even if it is in fact the product of a misunderstanding. They always come from a place of empathy first; they put you, and your feelings, before their ego.

2. They are not only attentive to your emotions when it is convenient for them. The worst thing parents do is when they essentially punish their children for feeling because they don't yet have the tools to intelligently process what they are experiencing. (This is basically the premise of emotional issues come adulthood.)

3. They don't need to personally agree with something to see it as valid. This comes from seeing all other people as valid and worthwhile, even if they do not necessarily agree with what they think or how they feel about something.

4. They aren't hyper-controlling. Since most hyper-controlling people don't realize they are hyper-controlling, a good way to tell is by gauging how infuriated they become over the little things, like being spoken over accidentally, or being mildly inconvenienced.

5. They actually want children, independent of their relationship to you. The least competent parents are the ones who never wanted to have kids in the first place. If it's something they don't feel they genuinely chose, every little infraction will feel like a major inconvenience, rather than just being part of the package.

6. They see children as equal human beings. They think of parenting as guiding, mentoring, influencing and at times, disciplining, not punishing when their children don't turn out exactly as they imagined therefore failing to validate them by making them feel competent.

7. They aren't dismissive. They aren't "above" anything that you like, and are happy to support whatever it is you want to do, or try, or strive for. They are not there to judge the parts of who you are, just to get to know them better.

8. They're willing to learn from people who are younger than them. They aren't hung up on the idea that seniority immunizes you from ever needing to develop or learn or grow.

9. They're confident, and not easily threatened. Their sense of self is not going to be undermined by a misbehaving 9-year-old which is, unsurprisingly, why a lot of parents lash out (aside from a lack of sleep and what not).

10. They can hold space for you, even, and maybe especially, when they don't understand what you're going through. When you speak, they listen, they don't just focus on formulating a response. They speak with you to understand you, not just to get their own ideas in edgewise.

11. They aren't easily frazzled. They're okay with plans changing, or things not being "just so." This seems like a random, if not vague trait, but it's probably one of the most important things parenting requires: endless, godlike patience.

12. They don't blame other people for their problems, and they at least try to solve said problems before their issues bleed into other aspects of their lives.

13. They're happy to do things that you're interested in only because they love you, and love to see you happy. If you think watching Grey's Anatomy for four hours straight every Saturday night is a lot, wait until it's Pinky Dinky Doo for four consecutive months while your 2-year-old goes through a "phase."

14. They're willing to sacrifice. More importantly, they know what's worth sacrificing for in the first place.

15. They're working on establishing themselves as individuals prior to becoming a parent. People who are fulfilled independent of their role as a parent are better able to devote themselves to raising a child and not resent the kid for unenabling their ability to self-actualize outside of being a puke-cleaner-upper.

16. They love you. You're not waiting for them to change their minds or commit completely someday. They love you and they sincerely want to be with you, and if nothing else, you know this for sure. TC mark

Facts Over Fables: 7 Truths About Thanksgiving Everyone Should Know

Posted: 25 Nov 2015 05:45 PM PST

Wikimedia Commons / Jean Leon Gerome Ferris
Wikimedia Commons /
Jean Leon Gerome Ferris

History, they say, is written by the victors. And in the context of history, it seems that it is also true that if you repeat a lie enough, people will come to believe it, and so will you. That last notion is sometimes attributed to Joseph Goebbels, the mastermind of propaganda in Hitler’s Germany.

The godfather of multiculturalism, Stuart Hall, often discussed the necessity of history creation and mythological “buy in” for the purposes of identity creation. For a nation to survive, people have to believe in the myths and ideas that are passed on as the founding of who they are, as a people who perceive themselves and are perceived by others as uniquely different.

As for the Thanksgiving story, like any other national tradition, it is filled with myths and legends that construct its cultural significance and romanticize its historical understanding of our present celebrations. The purpose of knowing the facts of Thanksgiving Day are not to take away from its now transformative observance as a day of gratitude and sharing with loved ones; the purpose, rather, is to know that there exists in each cultural celebration a historical basis that we ought to confront.

As for the Thanksgiving story, like any other national tradition, it is filled with myths and legends that construct its cultural significance and romanticize its historical understanding of our present celebrations.

Why? Because of truth, and for the sake of knowledge itself. But also for understanding the formation and evolvement of culture and traditions and making better choices about how to and when to acknowledge the sins of those who came before us, our own sins, and what that means in the dynamicity of tradition.

So indeed a happy thanksgiving to you if you celebrate, but also indulge in an acknowledgement and review of the facts of the history of the holiday celebrated on the last Thursday of November in the United States.

beetlejuice

1. We don’t actually know when the First Thanksgiving began. The narrative of the “feast” between the Native Americans and the Pilgrims has some basis but not enough to disqualify other possibilities. An account written by one Edward Winslow discusses a harvest which was good, and that the Native Americans would join and feast in said harvest in December, 1621. Another First Thanksgiving claim is that an Irish ship saved starving Pilgrims in the harsh February winter of 1621. Some sources cite a Puritan holiday in 1631 as the beginning of the first celebration. The point? There were probably a whole lot of “thanksgiving” celebrations initially (which I might add is still done in many countries and cultures throughout the world).

2. The idea of an intercultural bond of friendship between Native Americans and Pilgrims is highly unlikely. As one writer put it, the two groups may have been brought together by mutual necessity, but not friendship. In any case, in 1637, the governor of Massachusetts, John Winthrop, celebrated thanksgiving because of the “successful” slaughter of a Pequot village that included men, women, and children. This genocidal practice would continue thereafter and “thanksgiving days” would be celebrated following the massacres.

3. During the American Revolution, days were set aside to give thanks for victories against the British. In December of 1777, two months after the British had surrendered in Saratoga, New York, General George Washington declared a day of national thanksgiving. Upon the resolution of Congress, the settling of colonies, and the creation of the Constitution, in 1789 President George Washington issued a proclamation that Thursday November 26 of the same year, would be a day of “public thanksgiving and prayer” for the newly founded United States of America.

4. During the civil war, President Abraham Lincoln issued a proclamation on October 3rd, 1863 that the last Thursday of November would be a national day of thanks. However, the title “mother of Thanksgiving” in American history is often designated to one Sarah Josepha Hale. Hale was a an influential writer and editor, known widely for the nursery rhyme, “Mary Had a Little Lamb.” Hale had campaigned heavily for a recognized national thanksgiving day prior to Lincoln’s proclamation of the holiday, which has been in celebration ever since by tradition (and later, by law).

5. In 1939, President Franklin D. Roosevelt moved the Thanksgiving holiday a week earlier in order to boost retail sales during the Great Depression when retailers expressed concern. This was met with fervent opposition by Roosevelt’s opponents – mostly Republican. From 1939 – 1941, Americans would celebrate two Thanksgivings: Republicans on the traditional last Thursday, and New Dealers, a week earlier. In December 1941, a joint resolution in Congress resulted in an official designation of Thanksgiving on the fourth Thursday of November. But that two-year period of FDR’s change will always be known as Franksgiving in history.

6. In 1970, Frank James, a leader of the Wampanoag nation was banned from giving a speech in Plymouth, Massachusetts. The speech would portray the Pilgrims unfavorably. To protest, a National Day of Mourning was organized by Native Americans of New England on the fourth of November, coinciding with Thanksgiving Day. The protests continue to the present day alongside Unthanksgiving Day. The purpose of these resistance holidays is to honor indigenous peoples and recognize their survival in a national history that saw much genocide inflicted on their peoples, sometimes in the name of “thanksgiving.”

7. Dr. Arthur C. Parker (April 5, 1881 – January 1, 1955), who was of the Seneca nation, as well as of English and Scottish descent, was an early proponent of an “American Indian Day” in the early 1900s. Because of him, the Boys Scouts of America recognized that day for three years. But the first “American Indian Day” in a state was recognized by the governor of New York in 1916. Subsequently, several states would have different designations for Native American Days of commemoration, including in lieu of “Columbus Day.” In 1990, President H.W. Bush declared the month of November, Native American Heritage Month. And on the Friday following Thanksgiving Thursday, Native American Heritage day is often celebrated. TC mark

A Sex Chair Saved My Marriage

Posted: 25 Nov 2015 05:00 PM PST

Twenty20 / Dariakova
Twenty20 / Dariakova

My husband and I have been married for five years (together for eight), and we have two kids under the age of three. As you can probably imagine, our sex life has had its ebbs and flows. I also suffer from chronic back and neck pain as well as carpal tunnel, which not only causes a lot of pain, but also makes me feel like a grandma rather than a youthful sexy woman.

Despite all these obstacles, we both wanted to do something to re-ignite the fire and bring regular sex back into our lives.

We talked about scheduling sex or even trying one of those sex regimes where you just have sex every night, whether you’re in the mood or not for 30 days until it becomes routine. But none of those options felt very romantic, and even after many years of marriage and two kids I still need a little romance to enjoy sex.

We continued to just have sporadic sex when both of our schedules lined up and we weren’t two exhausted (or too achy), but it became more and more infrequent. My husband was always trying to initiate, which, while flattering, eventually made me feel guilty for not being as eager as he was.

So, I started doing research to find a solution and the answer I found really surprised me: A sex chair.

OK, it’s not actually called a sex chair — it’s called The Tantra Chair — and it’s amazing. It’s designed to contour the lines of the human body and allow you to have sex in a ton of different positions with the support of the chair. It’s also classy looking, so it doesn’t feel like a scene from 50 Shades of Grey in our bedroom.

The sex positions recommended by the company are inspired by Kamasutra and demonstrated in some pretty steamy videos on its website.

There are knock off versions out there that are a little cheaper, but they definitely aren’t as classy and they don’t have the very important feature of being anti-stain and anti-microbial (pretty key in a chair that’s specifically for sex).

We’ve been using the chair for about a month now and here’s a few things we’ve learned:

1. We’ve discovered a few of our own favorite positions.

We like to start and end with one of the more basic ones (like both sitting upright facing each other, with one leg on each side of the chair), and then experiment with some more adventurous positions in the middle. We aren’t quite up to Cirque du Soleil-level like the couple in the videos, but I have faith we’ll get there.

2. The added leverage makes sex ten times better.

The best part, for me, is that the chair provides so much support that my back and neck never hurt, and the added leverage makes sex feels incredible. No more trying to grab the headboard and constantly slipping down the bed. And let’s just say the level of grinding has been taken to a whole new level — and I’m not complaining.

3. I feel infinitely sexier.

The other thing I love about the Tantra Chair is that I feel so much sexier on it. The lines of the chair encourage you to lean back and arch your back, which flattens out my post-baby pooch and makes my boobs extremely perky. We also happen to have a mirror really close to the chair and I can’t help but watch as we make love.

Overall, I’m so thankful that the answer to our dry spell was solved with a piece of furniture, which is a much better use of money than years of therapy and frustration. If you’re feeling a lull in your love life or you don’t feel sexy in the bedroom, I highly recommend this chair. TC mark

YOURTANGO

15 Women On The Most Romantic Thing A Man Has Ever Said To Them

Posted: 25 Nov 2015 04:00 PM PST

pixabay
pixabay

1. ‘I HATE THAT I WASN’T THE FIRST GUY TO KISS YOU’

"My boyfriend told me that the thing that he hates most in life is that he wasn't the first guy to kiss me."

—Audrey, 22

beetlejuice

2. ‘YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GLAD I AM THAT I MET YOU’

"We were down near the waterfront, and he turned to me and said, 'You have no idea how glad I am that I met you.' Instant lady boner!"

—Steph, 21

beetlejuice

3. ‘THERE’S EVERYBODY ELSE, AND THEN THERE’S YOU’

"It was something like, 'You're different than any girl I've ever met, and you're also different than any girl I'll ever meet. There are only two types of girls in the world—there's everybody else, and then there's you.' I was like, 'Sign me up!' We lasted about two years and then I guess the cheating asshole moved on to 'everybody else.'"

—Francesca, 25

beetlejuice

4. I’VE LOVED YOU SINCE THE FIRST DAY OF KINDERGARTEN’

"'I've loved you ever since the first day of kindergarten.' He told me this when we were in our late 20s and hadn't seen each other since middle school. That's the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me, even though we were both married."

—Amy, 33

beetlejuice

5. ‘WHEREVER YOU ARE, THAT’S WHERE I WANT TO BE’

"My ex-boyfriend told me, 'I look in your eyes and I want you to walk through this world through me. Wherever you are, that's where I want to be.' I call him my ex-boyfriend because now he's my husband."

—Polly, 28

beetlejuice

6. ‘I COULDN’T STOP MYSELF FROM LOVING YOU’

"We had been dating for about two months and one night when we went out for a romantic dinner my boyfriend told me, 'When I first met you I held back a little bit because I knew that once I stopped holding back, I couldn't stop myself from loving you.' I shrieked out loud, because I was biting my lip so hard trying not to tell him that I love him. But once the ice was broken, we must have used the 'L' word ten thousand times that night."

—Shana, 26

beetlejuice

7. ‘EVERYTHING ELSE LOOKS UGLY COMPARED TO YOU’

"It was when my boyfriend told me he never wanted to take his eyes off me because everything else would look ugly by comparison. Talk about my heart going pitter-patter!"

—Bec, 24

beetlejuice

8. ‘YOU’RE SO DREAMY, EVERYTHING ELSE IS LIKE A NIGHTMARE’

"My guy told me, 'You're so dreamy, everything else is like a nightmare. If this is a dream, I don't want to wake up.' That was two years ago, and we're still both living the dream."

—Lilli, 26

beetlejuice

9. ‘I’M GLAD YOU’RE NOT LIKE MY MOTHER’

"He said he was glad I'm not like his mother. I know how much he hates his mother—I mean, like, he'd kill her if he could get away with it—so I know how much of a compliment that is. It doesn’t sound very romantic unless you realize how much he hates his mom."

—Suzy, 30

beetlejuice

10. ‘WHEN I FIRST LAID EYES ON YOU, EVERY OTHER GIRL IN THE WORLD BECAME A BLUR’

"About a year ago my boyfriend said that when he first laid eyes on me, every other girl in the world became a blur. I not only blushed when he told me that, I even got a little wet!"

—Jenna, 28

beetlejuice

11. ‘I WANT TO PUT A BABY IN YOUR BELLY’

"I was walking along the boardwalk in New Jersey last summer when a guy walked up to me and said, 'I want to put a baby in your belly.' Mind you, this guy was movie-star gorgeous. So I was all, 'Yes, please!'"

—Terri, 26

beetlejuice

12. ‘LOOKING AT YOU IS LIKE STARING INTO THE SUN’

"He told me I was so pretty that it was hard to make eye contact because it was like staring into the sun. I batted my eyelashes at him just so he wouldn't go blind. I'm considerate like that."

—Alli, 27

beetlejuice

13. ‘I FEEL DRAWN TO YOU LIKE A MOTH TO A FLAME’

"A guy I've been dating sent me this text: 'I feel drawn to you like a moth to a flame, and if I get burned in the process, you're so beautiful that it's worth the risk.' I was touched by his vulnerability."

—Juli, 27

beetlejuice

14. ‘I WANT TO TAKE YOU HOME TO MOM AND THEN FUCK YOU IN THE ATTIC’

"This boy I was seeing in college told me something along the lines of, 'Most guys classify girls into two groups: Those whom you take home to mom and those you fuck. I want to take you home to mom and then fuck you in the attic while she's napping downstairs.' That was not only the most romantic thing a guy has ever said to me, it was also the hottest."

—Cyndi, 24

beetlejuice

15. ‘WILL YOU MARRY ME?’

"That would have to be when my husband said, 'Before I met you, I thought that wanting to get married was a joke. Will you marry me?'"

—Erica, 28 TC mark

31 Funny Thanksgiving Tweets You’ll Be Thankful You Saw Today

Posted: 25 Nov 2015 03:00 PM PST

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15 Truths Sarah Dessen Taught Us About Life, Love, And Letting Go

Posted: 25 Nov 2015 03:00 PM PST

Jess.xn
Jess.xn

1.

"If you didn’t love him, this never would have happened. But you did. And accepting that love and everything that followed it is part of letting it go." 

2.

"But all the love in the world won’t save a sinking ship. You have to either bail or jump overboard." 

3.

“You’re supposed to fail sometimes. It’s a required part of the human existence.”

4.

"Because you have to just go with the flow. Your life is not your own, with people coming in and out all the time. You get mellow because you have to." 

5.

“The truth was, there was no way everything could be the Best. Sometimes, when it came to events and people, it had to be okay to just be."

6.

"It was so risky and so scary, and yet at the same time, so beautiful. Maybe the truth was, it shouldn’t be easy to be amazing. Then everything would be. It’s the things you fight for and struggle with before earning that have the greatest worth. When something’s difficult to come by, you’ll do that much more to make sure it’s even harder -if not impossible- to lose." 

7.

"That was the thing. You just never knew. Forever was so many different things. It was always changing; it was what everything was really about. It was twenty minutes, or a hundred years, or just this instant, or any instant I wished would last and last. But there was only one truth about forever that really mattered, and that was this: it was happening." 

8.

“There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment." 

9.

"Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend."

10.

"Some things don’t last forever, but some things do. Like a good song, or a good book, or a good memory you can take out and unfold in your darkest times, pressing down on the corners and peering in close, hoping you still recognize the person you see there." 

11.

"Music is a total constant. That’s why we have such a strong visceral connection to it, you know? Because a song can take you back instantly to a moment, or a place, or even a person. No matter what else has changed in your or the world, that one song says the same, just like that moment." 

12.

"It’s just that…I just think that some things are meant to be broken. Imperfect. Chaotic. It’s the universe’s way of providing contrast, you know? There have to be a few holes in the road. It’s how life is." 
– Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever"You know, when it works, love is pretty amazing. It’s not overrated. There’s a reason for all those songs."

13.

"It’s a lot easier to be lost than found. It’s the reason we’re always searching and rarely discovered–so many locks not enough keys." 

14.

“It's funny how one summer can change everything. It must be something about the heat and the smell of chlorine, fresh-cut grass and honeysuckle, asphalt sizzling after late-day thunderstorms, the steam rising while everything drips around it. Something about long, lazy days and whirring air conditioners and bright plastic flip-flops from the drugstore thwacking down the street. Something about fall being so close, another year, another Christmas, another beginning. So much in one summer, stirring up like the storms that crest at the end of each day, blowing out all the heat and dirt to leave everything gasping and cool. Everyone can reach back to one summer and lay a finger to it, finding the exact point when everything changed. That summer was mine."

15.

"Don’t think or judge, just listen." TC mark

9 Types of Guys You Run Into At A College Tailgate

Posted: 25 Nov 2015 02:00 PM PST

Twenty20 / threetails
Twenty20 / threetails

1. The friend who's visiting

This is the new guy from out of town who is wearing your school’s sweatshirt not because he went there, but because his friend loaned it to him so he wouldn’t look entirely out of place. He fits in eventually, but it takes him some time to learn the basics, when you have to teach him the school’s chant, you know he didn’t go there.

2. The kid who continuously drinks too much

This is the guy that after a few hours you have no idea what he’s saying. When he can’t form a complete sentence and his eyes are half glazed over you see his friends try to tell him to put the beer down, and he does, but two seconds later he picks up the bottle of Jack.

3. The frat boy

It’s 34 degrees outside, and this kid is wearing Sperrys. He may have on your team’s jersey, but he is sure to wear at least one accessory with his fraternity advertised. He’s all about that greek life.

4. The football team’s groupie

He is the team’s number one fan; he would sleep with them if he could. He lives for the games, and don’t even try to distract him while he’s watching. If he misses a play you will never hear the end of it.

5. The mother hen

He is the domesticated one of the group. When you crush a beer can with your bare hands and throw it on the ground in triumph he comes over to pick it up and put it in the trash. He likes to make sure that everyone is clean, happy, and well-fed. When he cooks up his delicious chili you don’t mind.

6. The kid who takes drinking games way too seriously

You’re scared to play him in beer pong not because he’s good, but because he will freak out if he loses. When he asks you to be on his team you have a small panic attack.

7. The kid who bought a bus specifically for tailgating

He loves to tailgate, which is why he bought a bus so he could do it every weekend. He is usually the life of the party because he is genuinely thrilled to be there.

8. The guy who passes out before the game begins

He has good intentions, but he just can’t handle the waking up at 8 am lifestyle to tailgate a game that begins at noon.

9. The professional

He talks to everyone, entertains everyone, and if there ever were a professional tailgater, he’d be one. He's all around awesome and makes the entire experience worthwhile, even if you're playing flip cup in below freezing temperatures. TC mark