Thought Catalog

I Lost Him To The Ocean

Posted: 28 Nov 2015 08:30 PM PST

Joaquín Sorolla y Bastida
Joaquín Sorolla y Bastida

I read something in the paper and it made me think about you.

This is what it said: Our lungs contain 300,000 million capillaries.

And this is why I thought of you.

The distance between Dublin and Boston is approximately 3000 miles. You had told me this when you were staring south west with the kind of madness I have only seen in sailor's eyes when they lived in lighthouses too small for their giant ship dreams. It should have worried me, that glint in your eyes. I just dismissed it as one of your maritime rants – something you had done since we were children, that I should have taken more seriously.

But I didn’t. I didn’t know the hold the ocean had on you.

When we went to the pub later that evening, you told me I should have the fish and chips, but the way you like it, with more vinegar and no tartar sauce. I said that made it too salty, and you told me that was how real sailors ate their fish. My reactions always were slow to your behavior. I believe the expression 'at sea' was applied more often than not when you spoke, jokingly by your friends, seriously by your parents, lovingly sometimes by me.

I never thought that the walks when you mentioned the ocean’s calling on the beach when we were children had any more to the idea than the romance of it all. So when you told me you belonged to the ocean, I thought you were talking about your soul.

It never truly meant anything to me until I saw the letter with my name pinned to where your boat had been roped at the dock. Goodbye, it had said in three paragraphs full of the ocean and my entire soul had turned cold – in shock, not quite sure if this was happening, as if this was a dream. I had looked up to see that your boat was still on the horizon, or maybe I imagined it, that deep was the shock you left me in. I had jumped in without thinking, without knowing what was going to happen next. I just wanted you. I wanted us back – 16 out of the 18 years I had lived on this earth seeing you every single day. I wish you knew that I swam after your lost trail long after you had gone, until the ocean, like the jealous lover she was, forced me to lose my breath somewhere in the freezing depths of the water.

I have never quite regained it.

The distance between Dublin and Boston is exactly 2991.42 miles. My now shallow lungs contain 300,000 million capillaries. If I laid each one out, end to end, they would stretch 1500 miles.

It’s madness, I know but I would do it, if I knew that you would lay yours out too…and met me halfway like you once used to. TC mark

18 Things Only Online Shopping Addicts Understand

Posted: 28 Nov 2015 06:30 PM PST


1. You have your credit card(s) memorized and can recite all sixteen numbers, plus the expiration date and CVV code, in a matter of seconds.

2. And the memorization of it happened completely by accident.

3. You absolutely hate malls and will do anything in your power to avoid them.

4. Half of your inbox is full of spam from various clothing stores advertising a sale or new arrivals. And you want to delete them all but you can’t because WHAT IF YOU MISS SOMETHING AMAZING.

5. Your Black Friday is just as intense as everyone else’s. Except you do it on your couch and in your pajamas.

6. While most people go home and order a pizza after a drunken night out, you usually hop on your favorite sites and make some bad [financial] decisions that you know you’ll regret in the morning.

7. …As in, you’re more afraid to check your online shopping charges when you log into your bank account the next day than you are to check your bar tab total.

8. You either have an Amazon Prime account or you mooch off of your parents’ account. Because free two-day shipping is bae.

9. Every single ad that shows up on the sidebar of your Facebook is related to an online clothing store.

10. And you can’t roll your eyes about it because you’re too busy clicking the ad and seeing if this company has anything good to offer.

11. You’re all about the coupon/promo code websites – you wish you could hug those people on a daily basis.

12. You can’t stop yourself from coming up with hypothetical situations for any piece of clothing that you see/want, and exactly what kind of bizarre-but-totally-possible circumstance you’d need it for.

13. Your roommates are usually surprised if they arrive home and there isn’t some kind of package sitting at the doorstep.

14. It always gets worse in winter – you find yourself online ordering even the most basic stuff that you could easily purchase down the street at Walgreens. But it’s just. so. damn. cold.

15. Some people spend their lunch breaks reading books. Some go on walks. You open about eighteen different tabs on your computer of things you dream of purchasing.

16. Tracking packages is your favorite pastime.

17. You’ve had so much practice in purchasing things before trying them on that at this point, you can glance at something for five to ten seconds and know whether or not it will look good on your body.

18. You still catch yourself daydreaming about all of the items in your cart that never found a loving home. TC mark

Quiz: Should You Go Out Tonight Or Nah?

Posted: 28 Nov 2015 05:30 PM PST

17 Reasons Why You Wouldn’t Be A Functioning Adult Without Your Best Friend

Posted: 28 Nov 2015 04:30 PM PST

Master of None
Master of None

1. Because you would never get through your work day without their heinous, purposely unflattering, quadruple-chin Snapchats.

2. Because they’re willing to be a total waste of life with you when you need a day to relax, stay in your pajamas, and binge watch Netflix for hours.

3. But they’re also willing to light a fire under your ass if you’re being worthless with your life and need a tough kick in the pants.

4. They tell you when you’re being an idiot in your love life – whether it’s because you’re dating someone totally wrong for you, or because you’re letting someone totally right for you get away.

5. Because they’ll make you a PicStitch for your birthday that you actually look good in, too.

6. You can count on them more than anyone else in the world when you’re in need of someone to Gchat with – especially on Monday mornings when everything’s the worst.

7. Because they can instantly sense when something’s wrong with you – whether it’s by phone, text message, or in person.

8. And when you try to say everything is fine, they’re the first to tell you to cut the crap and come out with what’s bothering you.

9. Because even more important than being a shoulder to cry on, they are a body to split a pizza with.

10. Because they love you enough to tell you when you’re being a whiny brat about your job and need to just suck it up.

11. But they’re also the first to tell you if they believe you’re being overworked or treated unfairly at your job and deserve something better.

12. Because they’ll let you listen to “Hello” as many times as you need to in order to feel emotionally fulfilled.

13. They’re the only one who will actually tell you when you’re wearing something that you’re going to regret down the line.

14. Because they’re the first person you FaceTime in the morning when you wake up with an adult hangover (read: any night where you had more than two drinks and naturally feel like shit).

15. Because they remind you to do adult stuff that you would never remember on your own – like getting a flu shot, updating your change of address when you move, scheduling a dentist appointment, etc.

16. Their pep talks help you more than those of almost anyone else in your life.

17. They will never let you down when you need someone to get food with you, whether it’s a delicious brunch at noon or a Taco Bell run at two in the morning. TC mark

12 Signs You Have An Unhealthy Relationship With Social Media

Posted: 28 Nov 2015 03:45 PM PST

Social media is an incredible tool: we're able to connect, share, learn and of course, evolve, faster than ever before in human history. Yet, the problem is that we have also begun to use it to quell some of the most common anxieties: self-identity, affirmation, connection to others, and so on. Of course, our obsession with grows because it does not fulfill us in the way we think it will, so we just seek more and more.

We need to stop blaming social media for being "bad," and start addressing how we are creating and sustaining an unhealthy relationship to it. So here are a few signs that your digital life has replaced your real one, because an image of life – however lovely – cannot supplement the actual experience of it.

1. Posting a photo of doing something makes you happier than actually doing it. In fact, sometimes you feel inspired to do things simply because it will be a nice photo that you can share.

2. When you feel anxious, scrolling through one of your news feeds relieves it. You feel as though you cannot miss anything crucial that happens, and to stay aware of what's going on online is to stay in control of your life.

3. You ask people to take photos of you every time you go out, and they comply, though you have a hunch they're not thrilled about it. There's a difference between wanting to take a photo to remember a cool experience, and enlisting friends as your personal documentarians.

4. You feel awkward asking people to take your photo and do it anyway. Because the feeling of being able to edit and post a nice photo of yourself overrides that discomfort, right?

5. You eat dinner with your phone in hand, when other people are at the table. Worse, you check your phone when you're eating with other people, scrolling, posting or responding to things that could very well wait 20 minutes.

6. After you post something, you refresh the page dozens of times to watch "likes" add up, so much so that you're spending more of your day staring at how people respond to your life, rather than how it feels to live it. You can't just post something then check back on it later, you need to extend the high by watching the numbers tick upward. This makes you think: "Other people will see how cool, loved, beautiful and popular I am." That thought makes you happy.

7. You don't take pictures to remember moments, you take them because it feels like without public documentation, it didn't really happen. This is a specific feeling you get when you're out doing things: if you don't post about it, it feels empty.

8. You get into fights online more than once a week (or, you know, at all). Your arguments heat up quickly because it seems as though someone is trying to attack you publicly, and this is embarrassing. Though admittedly, you could choose to not engage altogether. Your arguments are not attempts to understand or communicate, but to display dominance.

9. If you've been out for a while and realize you haven't checked your social media accounts in a few hours, you instantly become anxious, and pull your phone out. You become physically uncomfortable when you leave your phone at home, or feel "disconnected" from the Internet for an entire day.

10. You make judgments about people based on their online presence, rather than observations. You take what you see and fill in the gaps with assumptions, creating an idea of people you hold in your mind that is wildly disassociated from reality.

11. You compare yourself to other people online enough that it's in some way changed your behavior IRL. Not only do you compare yourself to others, but it's affected your life in some concrete way. You dress differently, you speak differently, your goals have changed to essentially make yourself feel better about your perceived inadequacy.

12. The best moments of your day, or at least, the most engaging ones, happen while staring at a screen. The happiest part of your life is the idea you think other people have of it… not how you actually feel. TC mark

Want more articles like this? Check out Brianna Wiest’s book The Truth About Everything here.


21 Things You Definitely Saw At Your Hometown Bar

Posted: 28 Nov 2015 03:15 PM PST

1. The New Yorker who walks in like they are God's gift to this shithole bar, ordering top shelf booze, wearing a fur vest, and generally being too good for whatever is going on.

2. The person who is visiting from their new home abroad, who likes to talk about what the holiday is like in their ~new land~. They are also prone to ordering a ridiculous drink that they bartender has no clue how to make, because they aren't ~cultured~.

3. A pregnant girl who is… for some reason… at the bar.

4. Someone from your high school football/basketball team wearing a school hoodie and talking about their most memorable games.

5. The guy who was always driving drunk in high school to go on Taco Bell runs, who is still very much driving home drunk from the bar well into his 20s (and often still stopping at Taco Bell on the way home).

6. People who can't help but make racist comments about the news story of the day, stressing that they're not racist, but [insert statement about "Mexicans" needing to come here legally, or cops just protecting themselves].

7. The guy who is really into his new car, even though you can't recall anyone getting really into their new car since the time when everyone was getting their drivers licenses.

8. The couple that is still somehow together despite breaking up approximately 28 times over the course of their relationship.

9. The couple that DEFINITELY should have broken up, but is now choosing to bring a child into the world.

10. Guys who for some reason have started chewing tobacco since you last saw them.

11. Girls who are going all out in their "hitting the hometown bar and impressing everyone" looks. This usually involves long, curled hair, Instagram contouring, and either heeled boots with leggings and a sweater or a bandage dress and pumps, depending on the weather.

12. The guy who is buying everyone many shots to a) demonstrate his great new job and b) increase his chances with the approximately 17 different girls he's trying to hook up with.

13. The intellectual who chooses to only drink the bar's shitty red wine, even though everyone else is on beer/mixed drinks/shots.

14. Guy/girl who is trying to get their "photography business" off the ground, and who carries a DSLR with them into the goddamn bar.

15. The girl who is crying by 11 PM, and has to be escorted to the bathroom by a few of her friends to calm down, before eventually rallying and then going harder than anyone in the entire bar.

16. The group of girls who are clearly really enjoying their moment of ~catching up~, and are spending most of the evening talking way too loudly over their drinks in a small circle and ignoring everyone else.

17. The couple that broke up forever ago – and for very good reason – yet is choosing to have that sloppy, regrettable hookup, simply because they're both in the same place, horny, lazy, and overcome with nostalgia.

18. People who can't understand the concept of using Uber, and think it's weird to even take a cab, let alone call one on your phone that is just someone in their regular car coming to pick you up.

19. People who don't have or understand Venmo.

20. The musician bro who spends at least 30 minutes humblebragging about "tour life" and how draining it is to always be "on the road," even though he loves it, man, and he wouldn't give it up for anything.

21. Your ex, who doesn't make you cringe into another dimension anymore. This probably means that you're something of an adult. Good for you. TC mark

Quiz: Should You Text That Person You’re Thinking Of Texting?

Posted: 28 Nov 2015 02:16 PM PST

7 Humbling Things You Learn When You’re The Last To Move On From A Relationship

Posted: 28 Nov 2015 02:15 PM PST


1. You cannot love someone into loving you back. You cannot tell yourself that if you promise to love them forever, and wait as long as it takes, and do whatever you must, that it will result in them reciprocating the gesture. A lot of the time, all it will mean is you spend your entire life devoted to someone who doesn't want you. You cannot love someone into loving you if they don't.

2. Believing that you're "meant to be" with someone does not make it so. No matter how real it feels, no matter how convinced you are, no matter how many little signs and signals and coincidences aligned and brought you to your conviction. Believing something does not necessarily make it real outside of your own mind.

3. There's a very particular kind of humiliation that comes with holding on just a little too long. And if you're not careful, you can so easily start to believe there's something wrong with you for being attached to a love that doesn't want to love you back.

4. You cannot think your way into letting go. You cannot analyze, prove, wait or pray your way into letting go. You simply have to step forward and create a new life for yourself, one that doesn't exist without them, but that never contained them in the first place.

5. Trying to figure out whether or not you'll get back together once you're over is usually the best indication that you won't. It's what people usually do when they instinctively know the answer is "no," and they'd like to gather proof that maybe, just maybe, they could be wrong.

6. Love is a choice, but both people have to choose it. You can choose to love someone who doesn't want to choose to love you back, but all you end up doing is funneling your energy into a situation that fuels the idea that you are not enough.

7. People who have a hard time getting over breakups are the only kinds of people worth dating. It may have been your downfall at one point, but you eventually have to learn that your ride-or-die, love-with-all-your-heart disposition is the greatest thing about you. TC mark

Want more articles like this? Check out Brianna Wiest’s book The Truth About Everything here.


10 Biological Sex Deformities (With Photos)

Posted: 28 Nov 2015 01:45 PM PST



FREQUENCY OF OCCURRENCE: 1 per 2.5 million male births

SUMMARY: One man, TWO PENISES! In many cases, it is actually only one penis split along the shaft. But the extremely rare “true diphallia” features anything from two distinct dickie-heads to two fully developed urogenitary tracts.





FREQUENCY OF OCCURRENCE: 1 per 300 male births

SUMMARY: The urethral meatus (pee-hole) is located anywhere on the penis but where it should be, almost like the hole on a flute.







SUMMARY: A “true” hermaphrodite’s internal sex organs contain both ovarian and testicular tissue. In some cases, this means a ball on one side and an ovary on the other; in others, it means hybrid beasties known as “ovatestes.” To the naked eye, their external genitals tend to be iffy—maybe it’s a big clit, perhaps it’s a teeny weenie, perchance it’s some unholy peno-vaginal mishmash. Pseudo-hermaphrodites have the chromosomes and internal sex organs of only one gender while their external protuberances are, again, anyone’s guess.




FREQUENCY OF OCCURRENCE: 1.5 per 1,000 male births

SUMMARY: An extra “X” chromosome or two leads to above-average height, tiny nuts, low testosterone, sub-par intelligence, sterility, and in some cases, embarrassing man-boobs.




FREQUENCY OF OCCURRENCE: 1 per 2,500 female births

SUMMARY: The absence of a crucial “X” chromosome results in average adult heights of 4’7″ , a sad-looking “triangular” face, a short neck that is often webbed, a barren womb, swollen hands, spotted pigmentation, turned-out elbows, and small breasts spaced widely apart with inverted nipples.




FREQUENCY OF OCCURRENCE: 1 per 165 male births

SUMMARY: The penis is normally shaped and fully functional yet hilariously small. In extremely rare cases—an estimated one in 30 million—there isn’t even the suggestion of a penis.




FREQUENCY OF OCCURRENCE: Many men have it to some degree; not considered problematic unless penis is off-kilter more than one-eighth of a turn.

SUMMARY: The penis head and/or shaft is twisted like a corkscrew, for some reason almost always in a counterclockwise direction.




FREQUENCY OF OCCURRENCE: Common enough that I could find several disgusting photos of it on the Internet, but not so much that I could find a single estimate of its frequency.

SUMMARY: The penis and scrotum switch places. The ball-sac is positioned above the Johnson and resembles elephant ears surrounding the trunk.




FREQUENCY OF OCCURRENCE: 1 per 20,000 female births

SUMMARY: The rectum, vagina, and urethra converge into one nauseating, funnel-like drainage hole located somewhere in the “taint” area between the clitoris and buttocks. Poop, pee, and vaginal sludge mingle freely. Corrective surgery is costly, complicated, and risky.




FREQUENCY OF OCCURRENCE: 1 per 1,000 female births

SUMMARY: A superfluous fleshy wall divides the vagina like a folding room divider splits an apartment in two. Upon loss of virginity, one section stretches and assumes the role of “dominant” vagina. The other half becomes as cramped as a broom closet and thus infinitely more desirable.


20 People Share The One Thing They Wish The INTPs In Their Lives Understood

Posted: 28 Nov 2015 01:15 PM PST


1. “The inside of your brain is like a messy desk, and that’s awesome. You have to wind your way through piles of unrelated material, but what you find at the end is pure gold.” –ENTP


2. “You guys are freaking awesome… when you open up and let us see that. ESFPs can seem really silly, but we genuinely care
and feel very special when you let us in to you little world.” –ESFP


3. “Whatever you’ve been thinking of, sitting in that chair for hours, share it with us! It’s probably really cool.” –ENFJ


4. “You guys make the greatest pals. Your sense of humour is awesome, and it’s nice to be able to have a debate and not have hard feelings afterward. You’re usually the smartest person in the room…or at least good at convincing everyone you are.” –ENTP


5. “I can’t admire your brains or strike up a friendship with you unless you tell me what’s on your mind. If you do, we’ll become the best of friends because you’re not intrusive and your dark sense of humour never fails to crack me up.” –ISFJ


6. “Tell people how you feel about them. We aren't all mind readers.” –ENFP


7. “You are the only type that I cannot beat in a debate, you pick apart everything in my big picture and it frustrates me to the point of giving up on the discussion and writing you off as an idiot… even though I do not want to.” –INTJ


8. “Thank you for keeping my thinking grounded. You’ve seen every avenue of thought on a topic before I’ve even started. I love that can give me general good honest answer about practically anything.” –ENTJ


9. “Learn to care about other peoples feelings and make them a priority, even if you don’t understand them, especially in a relationship.” –ENTP


10. “I’m 90% you guys know everything already, but would it kill you to act surprised when we rattle off a new fact we just learned even though you’ve known it since like kindergarten?” –ENTP


11. “You are capable of doing pretty much everything and anything you want to. Just don’t sit on your ass with all this potential and watch it blow away. Work towards your goals every day. See things through to fruition. Show the world how amazing and gifted you are.” –ENFP


12. “Expressing your feelings could help us understand you. It’s hard to understand why you suddenly felt sad or angry and make us wonder if we did something wrong or not.” –ISTJ


13. “Despite being described as the most insensitive (from my personal experience), I know deep inside that you do actually care about other people’s feelings.” –INFP


14. “You have so much potential – please try to engage more with the external world!” –ESFP


15. “Don’t doubt yourself. People complain because they don’t understand why you stop when you understand. They either want to do, teach or inspire others once they know something – we do things differently and sometimes that needs to be spelled out for people.” –ENTP


16. “I know emotions aren’t easy to talk about, but it is nice to hear you talk about yours every now and then. Please be open. It’s such a treat when you are.” –INFJ


17. “Never stop obsessing. There are things in your life that you’re passionate about. Even if others don’t understand, don’t ever, ever lose that passion.” –ENFP


18. “You are the best kind of weirdo. And maybe try to care just a little bit more about appearance? You don’t have to look like a crazy scientist to be one.” –INTJ


19. “Dude, balance out that nerdiness!” –ENFP


20. “I love your weird brains and special brand of Ti-flavored empathy. Keep it up!” –INFJ TC mark