Thought Catalog


I Am Not Any Man’s Personal Porn Star And Neither Are You

Posted: 07 Nov 2015 06:01 AM PST

Twenty20, wilhughes
Twenty20, wilhughes

Yesterday I came across an Instagram post reading: “A real woman is her man's personal porn star.”

Really? I thought. Really?! Is that what the world has come to? That the value of a 'real' woman is determined by her sex appeal? By what she can do for her man in the sack? **Beep! Beep! Beep!** The feminist alarms in my head were going off at full volume!

I was half tempted to comment on the guy's post, call him out on how ridiculous it was. Tell him I was personally insulted. That'd teach him! Or, I'd look like that crazy feminist with her hair all frizzy around her head and an 'I Eat Men for Breakfast' t-shirt.

For some reason I didn't comment. I guess I figured I'd save myself the social media argument. I did screen shot it though, with plans to complain about it to my girlfriends over dinner later. But the picture didn't leave my mind. In fact, it haunted me for the rest of that day. (Mind you, I saw this at 5AM, so when I say it bugged me all day, I really mean it!)

I kept accidentally opening my gallery, and there it was with its black background and white letters screaming, 'This is your self-worth. This is how you become a real woman.' I couldn't take it anymore. So I took the mature route and commented a face emoji that bore the expression of annoyed/eye-rolling/this-is-dumb/you-are-dumb. It looked something like this (-___-)

Not very mature, I realize this. But I didn't know what to say. Do I comment on it and start an unintelligent argument about how women should be, as Pitbull would say, 'a lady in the street and a freak in the bed'? No. Arguing for the simple fact that women are not defined by their rock star sex abilities would be completely lost on this Instagrammer. He probably wouldn't get it. Or play it off as a harmless joke. And that's what I hate about the internet today.

People are so quick to post dumb stuff without realizing: a.) the consequences, or b.) what they're really saying about others, and more importantly themselves.

They don't think that a picture basically saying a woman's purpose is to serve her man sexually would be pretty insulting. They don't realize that saying something ignorant like that would be a complete turnoff to some women. And they don't realize that the internet is a complete reflection of their character.

The internet today has just become a place of ignorance. With a few clicks, you can lazily search for anything you need without leaving the couch. You can look up a few facts about someone and think you know everything about them. You can write posts and comments instantly, without even having to think. And thus, the mental process is lost. No check-yourself-before-you-wreck-yourself anymore.

If you couldn't click and post an Instagram in a matter of seconds, would things be different? Absolutely. It's the ease of technology, the loss of face-to-face discussion, and the media influences on what we 'should be' that have warped our generation. And I'm sick of it.

So I'm starting to do something about it…with a stale-face emoji, a screenshot, and a shaking fist.

Stay tuned, I might even start wearing my 'I AM A FEMINIST' t-shirt. TC mark