Thought Catalog

13 Women Reveal What They’re Thinking About When Their Partner’s Trying To Get Them Off

Posted: 02 Dec 2015 07:00 PM PST

Twenty20 / Jovanadventures
Twenty20 / Jovanadventures

1. “A lot of times I’m thinking about everything I have to do the next morning, which is probably why it takes so long.” —Reina, 27


2. “I think about the sex we had when he actually did get me off.” —Leanne, 25


3. “I’m thinking about what he’s doing, and what I can do to make it even better. Every guy needs a little help.” —Jessica, 24


4. “Sometimes I’m thinking about the porn I watched earlier that week. It just continues to make me horny and keeps me going.” —Haley, 23


5. “Honestly, I don’t really know what the hell I’m thinking about. I’m too caught up in the moment to think about anything else.” —Cristina, 24


6. “I’m usually thinking about what I look like from his angle. Like when I’m on top all I can think about is how bad my double chin looks.” —Marykate, 23


7. “I’m thinking about him, and that’s basically it. He’s enough, especially if we’re having sex.” —Elizabeth, 26


8. “I think about whether or not he’s enjoying himself, and I’m always hoping he is. I’d like to ask him the same question.” —Natasha, 25


9. “If he’s going down on me, it’s always about what I ate that day, and how it’s affecting the taste downstairs.” —Emily, 26


10. “If he’s doing it right I’m thinking, almost there, keep going! If he’s nowhere near even turning me on, I’m thinking about how long it’s been since it started.” —Victoria, 25


11. “I’m usually questioning the position he’s trying to get me in. My body can only bend in certain ways. I’m a human being, not Silly Putty.” —Diana, 25


12. “I’m usually thinking about all of the other places we could be having sex. We always do it in the bedroom, it’s so predictable!” —Julia, 27


13. “I’m in the moment. As it should be, if your mind is elsewhere, you’re never going to get off.” —Olivia, 26 TC mark

A Star Wars Gift Guide For Your Favorite Jedi Master Or Sith Lord

Posted: 02 Dec 2015 06:00 PM PST

Loving Star Wars isn’t a “nerdy” thing anymore, or as much as it used to be, anyway (nerds are probably arguing that it was NEVER nerdy to begin with, okay?). I haven’t met anyone who doesn’t love the franchise, so you probably have people in your life that will appreciate any of the below gifts for any upcoming occasion.

1. BB-8 Droid


Seriously, even if you don’t love Star Wars, who wouldn’t want this adorable rolling droid? It’s not going to make you coffee or toast bread, but it will provide hours of entertainment I’m sure.

2. Wall decals


Recreate your favorite Star Wars universe right in your room, so it’s like Luke and Leia never left your side after the movie ended.

3. Stormtrooper alarm clock


The only time you’ll get to tap a stormtrooper’s head to either light up the display or snooze to get more sleep.

4. Star Wars Battlefront for PS4 or XBox One


Apparently the best and most realistic Star Wars game ever released. It looks like a pretty straightforward first person shooter game to me, though. The gameplay video I watched made it look extremely chaotic where you die every few seconds but can’t really anticipate or escape it. Just bombs and gunfire coming at you from all directions.

5. Nixon Stormtrooper Collector’s Edition Watch


I have four Nixon watches, and I love them all equally. Their special edition collections are very cool, and this Stormtrooper design is bad ass.

6. Jedi robe


You can walk around the house in this and be all like, “You can’t win, Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.”

7. Remote Control Millenium Falcon


You no longer have to dream about what it would be like to pilot the Millennium Falcon.

8. Ultimate Star Wars (book)


Just think — you’ll NEVER lose another Star Wars Trivial Pursuit game.

9. R2-Q5 USB Hub


Honestly, I think R2-Q5 is way cooler looking than R2-D2 but what do I know.

10. Lightsaber


There are a ton of lightsaber toys out there, but this one looks the most realistic to me. You could also opt for the extremely pricey lightsaber replicas for your ultimate collector’s item.

11. Stormtrooper mug


Um, not gonna lie, I kind of want this.

12. Lego Death Star


Okay, it costs $400, but it’s a pretty impressive model and will take days to build, but worth it, probably.

Please read the hilarious Amazon “customer” answers for this product.


13. Star Wars, the Complete Saga


If the Star Wars fan boy/girl in your life doesn’t already have this complete set, then maybe they’re not really a fan, but you can help them out by giving this as a gift. TC mark

Violence Is Normal

Posted: 02 Dec 2015 05:45 PM PST


It’s the 334th day of 2015. There have been 355 mass shootings in the United States including the one today. Violence, it seems, is a very normal thing, each nation dealing with its own kind, and throughout every age. The struggle, it seems, is to make violence abnormal.

I have very little to say of today's shootings. It is par for the course in this nation, as other forms of violence are quite ordinary, elsewhere. Here, we know the subsequent routine that follows mass shootings: outrage, followed by politics, followed by temporary amnesia, followed by nothing – at least little to no political or societal change to prevent this from happening tomorrow. Thoughts and prayers are somewhere in between. I do not make a pejorative of prayer – I pray – and because I do, I know it is disingenuous without works.

I will admit that I am having "a cynical day." I often prefer not to write about complex matters on such days because I never wish to transfer any temporary helplessness or hopelessness to those who come across my words. I am a hopeful person, but not every moment of every day.

Despite this hopeful stance, I have never been in a non-violent place – and I have been in many places. Depending on where you are in the world and your identities in the world, and your position in the world, you might think of it as safe, ignoring the price paid for that perception of safety. Summarizing Orwell, Richard Grenier cautioned ever so aptly, "People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf."

Depending on where you are in the world and your identities in the world, and your position in the world, you might think of it as safe, ignoring the price paid for that perception of safety.

But I would tell you too that there is no ipso facto safety attached to any space, but there might be an illusion of safety in some places. James Baldwin put it best, "Now, it is true that the nature of society is to create, among its citizens, an illusion of safety; but it is also absolutely true that the safety is always necessarily an illusion. Artists are here to disturb the peace."

I like to think, like Baldwin, that I am here to disturb the peace because in those spaces where safety is accepted, the illusion is greatest. But perhaps most importantly the peace is not one that is righteous or just or honest. That is why artists disturb it. Artists create chaos in order to reveal reality, and the people are made more conscious because of it. But it is a constant fight between the artists and the consciousness of the people, and the nature of society and the illusion of safety.

In understanding violence in the world we live in, we must be fair. Even if violence is still normalized and even where it takes on new and different forms in different ages, we know too that entire peoples are less at conflict with each other; we know that poverty is less, and we know that as education and standards of living rise, there is less violence. It is difficult to remember this on days like today.

Still, from time to time I think about the first biblical act of violence or at least the first murder – Cain killing Abel out of jealousy. Whether you take this as fundamental truth or a story told to teach fundamental truths, it is disturbing – the reasons one chooses to take another's life. Then I think about the first war. Do you know when the first war was? Neither do I. But according to history, the first recorded war in Mesopotamia was in 2700 BCE between Sumer and Elam. It is 2015. We have still not learned how to live with each other.

Yes, violence is normal. Even with what we know about the state of the world, the evidence seems to point to its ordinariness. But I think it is not enough to accept this and be content. It is not enough to deem this state the reality of all, but most especially those who are often the most vulnerable. Thus, even if it – violence – is as old as time, we are a better people for refusing to get used to it. So I say to you: refuse to get used to it.

On days like today, perhaps that is the only hope that remains. But we hold onto it because it is sufficient for the day; it holds together the mind and spirit till tomorrow. TC mark

4 Things About Planned Parenthood That Your Facebook Friends Keep Ignoring

Posted: 02 Dec 2015 05:00 PM PST

Women's eNews
Women’s eNews

It's true. Nothing shows your ignorant Facebook friend's true colors better than a national (or international) tragedy. You go through this every time. An unarmed black teenager is shot, Facebook friend says he deserved it because he was probably a thug, unfriend. A public place full of innocent civilians is shot up and another Facebook friend wants to make statuses arguing how the gunman was misunderstood and doesn't deserve to be called a terrorist or a bad person, unfriend. #AllLivesMatter posts, 'nuff said, unfriend.

I'll admit, I haven't had to go through the Facebook purge of friends who share different opinions (or who state completely false "facts") because I did a serious purge of people from my small hometown in Indiana as soon as I dutty wined across my high school graduation stage (I'm kidding, I can't dance, but I did do a serious Facebook purge).

But then I went to college and added an entirely new batch of people with views different from my own. While I have let a few go here and there, I always promised myself I'd message them first and try to have an open and frank conversation about why they feel the way they feel before I just delete them passive aggressively. This is because a lot of the time, when you have a conversation one on one instead of attacking publicly, you get to root of a person's beliefs a lot faster than you would leaving snarky comments on their posts that you clearly disagree with. I'll admit, I've let a few rude comments slip through the cracks, but for the most part, this new method of communicating with love (or at least respect) first has worked a lot better for me.

It wasn't until the Colorado Shooting at Planned Parenthood that I felt like there was so much ignorance on my Facebook newsfeed, that I had to do a purge. But, I took a few deep breathes, turned off Adele's new album (which may or may not have had something to do with the way I was feeling) and decided to create the list below instead.

From what I've seen on social media, a lot of people who aren't standing with Planned Parenthood are doing so for three reasons: 1) they consider themselves a Christian, 2) Planned Parenthood only performs abortions for mothers "too lazy" (seriously someone said that) to take care of their child to be and 3) because supporting Planned Parenthood means supporting "that feminist bullshit." Got it.

So apparently because I do stand with Planned Parenthood I am not a Christian (false), I've probably had an abortion (false) and as a feminist I spew "feminist bullshit" all day long (okay I talk about feminism A LOT, but none of it is bullshit to me).

Instead of messaging these slew of people one by one, I figured this would be more effective and possibly reach even more people. I want to start by saying that everyone is entitled to their opinion, no matter how much I agree or disagree with it. However, I also believe that there are few things worse than a completely uneducated opinion. So let me help some of you out:

1. The shooting in Colorado Springs is not the only act of violence Planned Parenthood workers and patrons have experienced. One woman shared her experiences of working at Planned Parenthood in Kansas and they are disturbing. While some choose to just write statuses on Facebook and share right wing articles or bible versus, others are taking their hate and lack of knowledge to a new level by attacking Planned Parenthood centers and harming innocent people.

2. Only three percent of Planned Parents services include abortions, however, it is unclear how much revenue abortions bring in for the clinics. I understand why those who do not stand with Planned Parenthood are upset by this statistic, but it is a fact. While we don't know how much revenue Planned Parenthood gets from abortions, we can't assume workers are walking up to pregnant women on the street urging them to get an abortion just to make money.

3. Being pro-choice does not mean pro-abortion. Pro-choice is the belief that it is the woman's right, not the man's nor the government's, or the family’s, right to choose what happens to an unborn child. Pro-choice includes the right for a woman to put her baby up for adoption and also the right for her to change her mind on said adoption and keep the baby before it is born.

4. Lastly, just because your cousin's boyfriend's ex step mom had an abortion and regretted it does not mean that 1) every woman having an abortion will regret it and 2) that you even have the right to share that story with 1,000 of your ~closest~ Facebook friends. It's rude, none of their business and truly none of yours either.

So there you have it. To my Facebook friends and others out there who may disagree with every line of this, I just have one thing left to say to you: knowledge is power and reading is fundamental. TC mark

10 Disturbing True Stories Of Day Care Death, Murder, And Abuse

Posted: 02 Dec 2015 04:00 PM PST

via Shutterstock

When I started this article I was quickly amazed at how many babies die every year in day cares just from sleeping the wrong way. If a baby sleeps on their stomach then they’re in danger of sudden infant death syndrome or SIDS. Have a blanket that’s too big? Put a pillow in the crib? The baby may suffocate on it. This all happens kind of a lot. Specifically, it happens 3,500 times a year.

From 2009 to 2013 in Indiana there were thirty one baby deaths in day cares and on the macro level a full 60% of deaths like this occur in day cares. Even worse is that in the Indiana example half of those deaths took place in illegal day cares. See, day care is expensive and since everyone today has to have a job with both parents working then that means you have to have day care, the cheapest, safest you can find. That means that untrained people open day cares in their houses, put babies to sleep on their stomachs and end up with babies that die.

The most recent data says that for every 100,000 babies that are born, 39.7 of them will die in the crib just from sleeping wrong and suffering SIDS. That number may seem confusing but let me put it in context. The murder rate in the U.S. is 3.8 murders for every 100,000 people. So that means the crib death rate is 10x higher than the U.S. murder rate. Even crazier, the death rate used to be 130.3 per every 100,000 babies back in the 90s. None of the above numbers include “unknown causes” or “strangulation” from a blanket.

Sixty percent of these deaths happen in day cares and roughly fifty percent of that sixty percent (varies by state) happen in unregulated day cares. If the murder rate was what the infant death rate is in the U.S. then we’d have far and away the highest murder rate in the world.

1. Day Care Owner Goes Shopping, House Burns Down

In 2011, Jessica Tata, only 22 at the time, ran a day care in Houston, Texas. One day she decided she was going to go shopping at Target and so she left all of the seven children entrusted to her by their parents at her house while she went out. Even worse, she left oil cooking on her stove which inevitably caught fire and burned the house up. Four of the children died from the fire. Tata took off for Nigeria hoping to escape justice for her negligence but after being captured and extradited back to the U.S. she was charged and convicted of felony murder. She was sentenced to 80 years.

2. Rape

via YouTube

Not only did 25-year-old Ohio day care worker Heather Koon rape at least two babies, ages one and two, in 2013, she also video recorded one instance of it on her iPhone to share with her bound-for-hell boyfriend, James Osbourne. Koon denied that the video on her iPhone was of her raping a baby and instead claimed she’d downloaded the video off the internet.

After police investigated, she was eventually charged with what appears to be everything authorities could think of: “12 counts of kidnapping, four counts each of rape, pandering obscenity involving a minor, pandering sexually oriented matter involving a minor and illegal use of minor in nudity-oriented material or performance, two counts of conspiracy and one count each of tampering with evidence and engaging in a pattern of corrupt activity; forfeiture.”

3. Suffocation

In 2005, 10-month-old boy, Henry, was staying at a licensed day care center in Virginia while his parents were at work. Since the facility didn’t have enough cribs for all the infants they were caring for, Henry was instead placed on “soft bedding” to sleep when all the children were put down for naps.

The caretaker then left all the kids to go take some Tylenol PM for her migraine headache but didn’t call for her backup caretaker to watch the kids while she was gone. During that time she was away, Henry asphyxiated on the soft bedding and died.

4. Kids Kept In The Basement

One woman recalls that her sister started making puppy whining noises when she came home from day care despite the family owning no puppies at the time. Their mother soon discovered that one of her daughters was being kept downstairs in the day care’s basement all day surrounded by puppies. While that sounds sort of adorable it’s also unbelievably neglectful.

5. UTIs For Babies And Toddlers

The same woman says that she repeatedly had UTIs because her caregivers wouldn’t let her go use the bathroom and so she often peed on herself and had to sit in it until her mother arrived to pick her up. This was despite the caregiver being given a doctor’s note from the parent saying that her not being allowed to go to the bathroom in a timely way was causing UTIs.

6. Incompetent Caretakers

This mother dropped her daughter off at a daycare in the morning and when she came to pick her up was told that her daughter had been sleeping for six hours like that was a normal thing. Turns out she had a raging fever but they hadn’t considered that maybe a child sleeping for six hours of the day might be cause for concern. May as well have left her in a cave for all the care she got.

7. Some Caretakers Are Actually Cruel Liars

Here’s one story about a caretaker at a day care who took away the person’s favorite toy, hid it, and then lied and told the parents that their own child had lost them. Other horrible incidents included letting other kids play with that toy and laughing when the toy got smeared in dog pee, leaving kids in their high chairs alone for hours while the caretaker went to the park, and, finally, getting in a car accident with a child who wasn’t in a car seat and then not taking them to the hospital.

8. Drugging Children So They’ll Sleep

Jail Photo via
Jail Photo via Waco Tribune

Marian Fraser owned “Spoiled Rotten” daycare in Waco, Texas. In 2015 she was convicted of giving a lethal dose of over-the-counter Benadryl to a four-month-old girl in 2013 so that she would sleep soundly during nap time.

She was sentenced to fifty years in prison.

9. Literally Throwing A Child Out A Sixth Story Window

via NBC New York
via NBC New York

27-year-old Tenisha Fearon, a mother of four was arrested for throwing her baby out a sixth story window while her other three children watched. Fearon was also a licensed child care worker who ran a day care from her home and was the recipient of city referrals for the business.

Law enforcement says that Fearon was about to be evicted which may have sparked the incident.

10. Shaken Babies

via YouTube
via YouTube

Pallavi Macharla was arrested in Spring of 2015 after a sixth-month-old in her care died. The autopsy revealed “multiple compression fractures to her spine” and “hemorrhaging beneath membranes that surround the brain and spinal cord, and in the eyes, and separation of tissues in the baby's eyes,” all symptom’s consistent with a baby who has been violently shaken.

Macharla had been operating an unlicensed day care center when she was arrested. TC mark

15 Hilarious Little Poems That Perfectly Encapsulate The Quarter Life Struggle

Posted: 02 Dec 2015 03:00 PM PST

1. On realizing that other people suck, but you rock.

2. Partly because you’re 100 percent hotter than fuckboy’s new girlfriend.

3. You don’t even care if you’re slightly behind.

4. Because marriage is totally lame.

5. Ditto to babies.

6. There are serious benefits to being single anyway.

7. FOMO isn’t something you’re known to experience.

8. But being hangry certainly is.

9. Dessert? Always!

10. Skinny’s not such a priority anymore.

11. You’re an empowered woman who does shit her own way.

12. Unless you go on a date, in which case he better pay.

13. Because student loans are no fucking joke.

14. You’ll be broke AF until you can sell those Beanie Babies.

15. But whatever, really, because candy.

TC mark

The Case Of The ‘Cake Crush’ Porn Tape And 10 Other Priests Who Fell From Grace

Posted: 02 Dec 2015 02:00 PM PST

Shutterstock /
Shutterstock /

The Greek Orthodox Church has just told Rev. George Passias to go defrock himself.

In October, leaked video clips showed the 67-year-old priest sitting in a motel room wearing only a T-shirt while his longtime mistress repeatedly squashed her ample ass down on a slice of banana bread until it was completely flattened. This odd fetish is known as “cake crush” or “cake sitting.” Another clip showed his Peruvian mistress—who is 22 years his junior and currently five months pregnant with his child—rubbing her feet all over his face as he moans in ecstasy.

Disgraced and defrocked, Passias joins a long, toilet-paper-roll-length list of priests who fell from grace after their private misdeeds were made public.

George Passias: He loved when his mistress smashed cakes with her ass and rubbed her feet on his face. (YouTube)
George Passias: He loved when his mistress smashed cakes with her ass and rubbed her feet on his face. (YouTube)



To his Catholic parishioners in Bridgeport, CT, Monsignor Kevin Wallin was a gifted orator and a charismatic leader. But as he grew thinner and his behavior became more erratic, church workers reported that throngs of men were passing through his, er, “rectory” at all hours and that both Wallin and some of his visitors were seen cross-dressing. He was suspended from his public ministry in 2012, whereupon he took residence in a small, seedy apartment and became a full-on meth dealer who bothered neighbors with loud, speed-fueled sex parties. At the time of his arrest he either owned or was in the process of buying an adult toy store which investigators suspect Wallin intended to use as a front for money laundering. Earlier this year he received a five-and-a-half-year prison sentence. (source1) (source2)



Technically the Dutch man known as “Brother Andreas” was only a Catholic brother rather than a fully ordained priest, but his story is so sickening it demands inclusion. According to a report released by a Dutch prosecutor only a few years ago—around sixty years after the alleged abuse and about 15 years after Brother Andreas died—Andreas was known at a halfway house for severely disabled boys as the “Injection Brother” who purposely injected boys with fatal doses of morphine or Phenobarbital in a “death room” designed to “put them out of their suffering.” Boys who were deemed not sufficiently disabled to fall victim to Andreas’s warped euthanasia scheme were reportedly “slammed against walls, choked, and hit in the face with a ring of keys.” When they weren’t being abused, they worked like slaves in a cellar helping to produce light bulbs. (source)



Franz-Peter Tebartz-van Elst, the "Bishop of Bling." (Wikimedia Commons)
Franz-Peter Tebartz-van Elst, the “Bishop of Bling.” (Wikimedia Commons)

Because there’s a new Pope who gives lip service to Marxist wealth redistribution so long as, you know, the Catholic Church isn’t required to pay any taxes or divest itself of the billions and possibly trillions in land and assets it reaped from soaking peasants of their money for 2,000 years, it was a public-relations disaster for the Church when it was revealed that a German bishop named Franz-Peter Tebartz-van Elst had used a whopping $33 million in church funds to build himself a happy little personal palace. In 2014 the man the press dubbed the “Bishop of Bling” was forced to resign his post due to his shameless extravagance. (source)



A New Zealand priest named Alan Woodcock was suspected of sexually assaulting a string of boys in the 1970s by “enticing them to his bedroom with cigarettes, pretending friendship and concern.” He was criminally convicted of indecent assault of one 17-year-old boy but only received a suspended sentence. But above all, the most important thing is that his name was “Alan Woodcock.” (source)



Except for a single allegation in 1986 when he allegedly ran his hand up a male student’s leg, Rev. Henry Krawczyk was never accused of being a sexual predator. Instead, he was more like the lonely old uncle who hangs out with younger guys in a sad quest to appear hip. His MO was usually to provide teenage males at the University of Pittsburgh with alcohol and marijuana merely for the privilege of getting drunk and stoned with them. His world came crashing down on him in 2003 when a teenage football player that Krawczyk had plied with alcohol fell 25 feet through a church ceiling to his death. Krawczyk was arrested and pled guilty to involuntary manslaughter. (source)



David Lawrence Stone back when he was known as Father Francis Mary Stone: Accused of shoving his finger up his infant son's rectum to force him to poop on the bed. (YouTube)
David Lawrence Stone back when he was known as Father Francis Mary Stone: Accused of shoving his finger up his infant son’s rectum to force him to poop on the bed. (YouTube)

A Franciscan priest who hosted a show called Life on the Rock on a Catholic TV network, Father Francis Mary Stone befriended a woman at the network named Christina Presnell in 1998. Three years later they began having sex, which eventually led to her impregnation. Stone was defrocked, yet his relationship with Presnell didn’t last. As part of a long and ongoing custody dispute over their son, Presnell accused him in court papers of shoving his finger up his infant son’s anus, causing the child to defecate on the bed. Stone was criminally charged in 2013 but his case is ongoing. Still, going from TV host to accused infant-anus-violator is quite the fall from grace. (source)



(Wikimedia Commons)
Hans Schmidt. (Wikimedia Commons)

Just a little over 100 years ago, Hans Schmidt—a German-born priest serving in New York—started an affair with an Austrian housekeeper named Anna AumΓΌller. They were even “married,” although not legally, in a ceremony that Schmidt performed himself. But when he found out she was pregnant, he slashed her throat, chopped her body to pieces, and dumped her remains in the East River. He was fried in the electric chair in 1916 at Sing Sing prison and remains the only priest executed for murder in American history. (source)



During a flight from Philly to Los Angeles last year, Father Marcelo De Jesumaria could have easily watched a Disney movie or played FarmVille on his iPad. Instead, he groped a woman’s “breast, groin, and buttocks” and was found guilty of abusive sexual conduct during a trial. (source)



One of the numerous priests arrested and convicted of sex crimes against children in the Boston Archdiocese about a dozen years ago, John J. Geoghan’s case was remarkable for the sheer number of times the Catholic Church hurriedly moved him to a new location every time new allegations of child abuse emerged. He fondled boys from the mid-1950s all the way up until a 1991 criminal conviction for groping a boy’s buttocks in a swimming pool. After being sent to prison, it was Geoghan’s fate to be celled up with a lifer convict who had a murderous animus toward pedophiles. Geoghan was strangled and stomped to death in his cell. (source)



The Reverend Richard G. Jones was a religion teacher at my Catholic high school in Pennsylvania. For reasons known only to him and his God, Jones delivered an acutely nasty sermon at my father’s funeral. He prattled on for at least ten minutes about what a despicable asshole my father had been. None of this is to imply my father was a saint, but for fuck’s sake, there was no need to kick him while he was ready to be planted in the ground. So it is with a glorious sense of vengeance and comeuppance that I announce he was eventually defrocked as the result of a lawsuit accusing him of fondling, raping, and sodomizing a teenage boy over the course of three years. (source) TC mark

An Open Letter to The One I’ve Hurt

Posted: 02 Dec 2015 01:00 PM PST

lauren rushing
lauren rushing

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for making you end this relationship. It must have hurt on your part, to let go of someone you truly like, because I've been there, not just once or twice, but many times, letting go of those who have hurt me so badly that I actually feel the ache within. I'm sorry for hurting you with all the mixed emotions and signals I was sending to you about this relationship because sometimes I realize that I've been hurt so bad that I'm already incapable of fully loving again.

I'm sorry for jumping into things so quickly, without taking the time to let you truly know me, and for me to truly know. I neglected the fact that people are more than who they appear on the surface. I forgot that there are often things hidden beneath the surface that require the key of trust to unlock and reveal. We loved each other, which was undeniable. But you don't understand me. You don't know me.

You'll never know about the dark months I've had before meeting you. You'll never see the fading scars on my wrists when I decided that pain is the best way to remind myself that I'm still alive. You'll never know about all the times when I was rejected, betrayed and left on my own, when I cry myself to sleep. You'll never know about how I used to be a lifeless zombie after feeling too much of the same emotion. And that my past influenced the current me, the guarded me who appears always cheerful and enthusiastic. Happy and full of energy. You don't know that this is merely a wall that I've built to block out all those who are superficial, all those that I've eliminated from my inner circle.

You didn't know that when I admitted that I'm an enigma, a code that's hard to crack, I really wanted you to crack it. I really wanted you to break down all the walls that I've built around me, a result of all the hurt that I've been taking in all these years. I wanted you to prove to me that I can trust you, that despite my ugly and scarred inside, you were still willing to love me.

But perhaps I expected too much, and forgot to give.

I'm sorry for always being there half-heartedly, for the other half is always masked in self-doubt of whether I am worthy for you. Whether I am worthy of love. Whether I am ready for such a big commitment. And I'm sorry for revealing so little. For holding on to that façade despite being in a relationship, despite advocating for truth, openness and a deeper connection in relationships.

I'm sorry.

I miss you. I miss us.

I miss the times we've had together, the moments when I relented and revealed little bloody clues about my past. The moments when we actually have that deep emotional connection that I've always wanted. I miss the heart-to-heart talks that we've had together, revealing the hurt and scarred parts of ourselves. I miss you constantly reassuring me that I am worthy for you and for your love.

I miss your smile. Your laughter.

But I'm still glad.

I'm glad that we were once something. We were once in love, and in a sense this short relationship with you managed to teach me a lot about love, about loving, and about getting hurt. You've taught me so much more than the previous heartbreaks and rejections have and you, by leaving me, have, in a way, broke down my walls and helped me open out my heart to whoever that's out there again.

You gave me hope, you showed me hope, you are hope. And I'm thankful for that. I'm thankful that we were once something, once together, once love.

But all relationships must end, sooner or later.

So don't wait for me. Forget me. Find someone better than me. Someone easier to love, and someone better at loving. Forget about the pain and hurt that I gave you, and be happy with him.

I'll always remember you.

I'll always love you. TC mark

17 ‘Other Men’ Explain What It’s Like To Have An Affair With A Married Woman

Posted: 02 Dec 2015 12:00 PM PST amyjhumphries amyjhumphries


"I'm a 30-year-old single male and I have been having an affair with a married woman, aged 32. She said the life went out of her marriage a long time ago but she hasn't left her husband. I don't love her but it's the best sex I've ever had. Is it her, or the illicitness of the situation? I think I'm addicted to it. My friends are settling down but I'm happy with this—is there something wrong with my attitude to love and sex?"



"I'm the other man. The worst part about it is that I can’t tell anyone. No one knows what’s going on inside. I put on a strong act, though no one can tell the hell I’m going through….I feel so alone…alone as a single solitary star in an otherwise cloudless night, alone yet surrounded by so many people who might as well not be there. The only things that keep me warm are my memories of her and I acting as if we’re together, all the while knowing it wasn’t true."



"I love this woman and she says she loves me deeply, she tells me we are in love. I walk on clouds, she makes me feel great and I her—we speak all day every day via text—at night she calls me from her bedroom with hubby downstairs, we speak for hours—he doesn’t seem to give one fuck about her!!!…I LOVE this woman, she LOVES me (I don’t doubt that she does), but I know that I can NEVER have that happiness we have when we are together full time—I know that she goes to sleep every night next to him and not me. I know she will NEVER be mine—and it fucking kills me. It hurts me so bad."



"I don't know if I did the right thing, but I wrote a letter to the husband. I felt betrayed and lied to. I still believed in her "love" and that she was stuck. I wanted it all out on the table. She had told me that he knew everything about our relationship after he found the letter. Well, what I received was the most painful, hateful letter from her that she does not love me, will never love me, can't believe that she thought she did, does not have one ounce of respect or love for me, will never forgive me, don't ever contact her again, I destroyed her family because she "fell into" a life of self-destruction and evil….Oh, and when I sent the letter — the husband called the police on me for stalking….Our relationship went from 100,000 I love you's, wedding and family planning, to nothing. It's been no contact for 19 days. I go from missing her to feeling deceived and wanting revenge."



"I'm 60 and as the 'other man' I have no right whatsoever to expect the woman I've loved since 2012 to break the powerful ties that bind her to family. She lives in a lovely home with her husband and believes he would not cope with a break-up, as they have been married for over 30 years. They have two grown-up children and she is racked with guilt….Jealousy is a horrible condition which eats away at my heart. From time to time the most elaborate plans can come unstuck at the last minute. Imagine my sadness after booking a hotel for a weekend break which didn't materialize….There are no easy answers to surviving a relationship as the 'other man' but I believe it is better to have the friendship and companionship of the woman I love rather than not having her in my life at all."



"I’m in love with her but she won’t leave her husband who she says she doesn’t love anymore. I am ready to leave my gf to be with her. I feel like she wants me and her husband; this is killing me; I just want to be with her more than anything. Why can’t she leave him when she says she is not happy with him and wants to be with me?…I find it hard to stay away from her but I think I need to remove her from my life."



"I met her at university, and was instantly attracted to her. We exchanged numbers and subsequently I found out she was married (from her). We’ve still been talking on and off ever since and we’ve connected on such a deep level, emotionally and spiritually. We’ve both fallen in love. However much I’d like to dismiss these feelings for her, I can’t. She’s smart, funny, loving, kind, friendly, generous, artistic and beautiful. I’ve never felt this much love for anything before and I am highly doubtful that I’ve deluded myself….We’ve both confessed our love for one another and I’ve woken up in the middle of the night, dreaming, as well as thinking of her. This isn’t some tryst involving two idiots that haven’t any regard for other people. This is really about two people accidentally falling in love after one has been married."



"I’ve been having an affair with a married woman for about 2 months, although I’ve known her for nearly 2 years. The problem is that I am now totally in love with her. I am sure that she feels the same way about me. She is my soul mate, and she says the same about me. We are so special together and I know in my heart that we are supposed to be with each other. She says she loves her husband but that she knew before she married him that he was not the one, she though marriage would fix this, but it didn’t….The problem is that she says she is in so much pain over the whole affair. She says she does not have enough strength to end our affair and keeps begging me to end it. I have told her that I love her too much and that I could never end it….My life is being blown apart. I love this woman more than I ever though possible to love someone and just do not know what to do."



"I’m 28 years old and I work for a big construction company, within the company we have different jobs like I’m a carpenter, there is another guy who works for the company too but he’s a plumber. I happened to meet his wife at a friend’s party, she was there with a friend and I approached her and we talked for a while, then I looked her up on FB and added her and this is how we started communicating basically, eventually we went out a couple of times and we’ve been having sex for the last 8 months or so….Yesterday she called me to tell me that her husband found out about our affair and he knows who I am and said that I will pay for it. Now I’m 3 hours away visiting my sister but on Monday I’m going back to work and I really don’t want any problem nor drama."



"It’s turned in to an emotional affair and even though I love her and her kids and would want to be there, I feel like her attachment to me is going to cause severe problems for the family. When I try to talk to her about it, she takes it like a girl in love would take a breakup, horribly, and its so hard to get a chance to talk to her in private when we can actually resolve issues. She’s not thinking clearly though usually when I’m around her she seems fine emotionally. I’m glad that we stopped the physical part because it was wrong, but now that we bonded, its still emotional and when I try to stop that, she’s so confused and can’t take going back and forth and I just am lost. I want to stay friends with her and her family to be happy, (I’m willing to hide my feelings for her) but am I destroying them more if I stay around?"



"Her marriage is not working right he is barely there very absent so we met and we fell in love now we love each other more than ever but I love her so much that I need to be with her 100% but that can’t be because she has children and she can’t destroy her family. I love her kids and they love me but they see me as her friend nothing else they would feel betrayed. She cannot end that marriage at least she says not yet, I don’t know what to do cause I am younger and time is going by we have had this now for 2 years and I don’t know what to do because I need to move on in some away and I really love her with all my heart."



"I’ve been having an affair with a married women, and now her husband knows and threatens to hurt me….So the husband is “looking” for me, and calling, threatening to hurt me, now I would go out and confront him face to face, but the guy is way too pissed off, I don’t want to get myself arrested or lose my current great employment over this stupid act."



"I’ve been having an affair with a woman whom I like very much. I’m trying to keep our affair a secret, but we’re having a hard time….For the sake of our children we need to remain married for now. We’re doing everything to keep our stuff hidden."



"I’m a single guy, just started an affair with a married woman, a bit older than me, I’m 31, she’s 34, she been married 7 yrs, and is financially secure but unhappy it seems… I’ve never done anything like this before, but I have to say it is incredibly exciting, we haven’t had sex yet, but it’s going to happen pretty soon I think, I’m a little worried, I said to her, OK, I’m happy to go along with it, and have a bit of fun as long as no one gets hurt, so I said to her make sure u delete text mssg’s and stuff, and I said don’t get caught!!! She said she doesn’t really care if she gets caught—Hmmmm…. I really like her and stuff, but I’m not financially secure at the moment, and not really up for a full on relationship with a divorcee."



"I’ve been involved in a relationship with a married woman for a year and I’m started to think that I got in way over my head. At first it was exciting sneaking around behind her husband’s back. I have always viewed our relationship as just one long booty call. However she has told me she is in love with me and she is going to file for divorce from her husband. She told me she wants to be together forever and she intends on telling her husband everything. I realize I have done wrong and want to end the relationship."



"Okay, so I'm a 23-year-old college student. I am a personal trainer at this gym. Anyway, I am personal training a 31-year-old woman. She is married to this doctor and has one kid. He husband is basically paying me to personal train his wife. Anyway, we have been having an affair for six months. We are careful and she only comes to my apartment when her husband is out of town. Lately I've been worrying. I saw her husband drive by my apartment three times on the same day. And whenever I see him at the gym, he stares at me a lot. I play it off like I don't notice but I'm really starting to worry."



"I was an extra on a movie, and there was a bar scene and they sat me with this beautiful woman. We had to sit together for ten hours while they were shooting, talking the whole time. It sounds crazy but we fell in love. Eventually, we stopped paying attention to the fact that they were filming and started making out. Right at the end, when we were ensconced in this dark corner of this fake nightclub, her husband showed up. We were so involved that we didn't see him. The movie was being shot in Hong Kong. We were both staying in the same hotel. After seeing us kissing, her husband went back to their room, took all their traveler's checks, all their money, cleared out their bank account, got on a plane, and went home. And so I went from basically having a one-night stand to having a dependent in a ten-hour period. We got married and stayed together for ten years." TC mark

17 Struggles Of Dating A Morning Person When You’re (Definitely) Not One

Posted: 02 Dec 2015 11:01 AM PST


1. Their waking time feels like the middle of the night for you. Sometimes, it actually is.

2. “Wanna get brunch tomorrow?” means two completely different things to you both. For them, it means let’s get there right when the restaurant opens. For you, it means let’s find a restaurant that serves brunch until 3 o’clock. 

3. In the beginning of the relationship, they always had time to make themselves look put-together and cute in the morning before you woke up. Whereas you, right from the get go, were just a drooling, hideous mess.

4. If you stay up late together on a week night, they’re perfectly fine and functional the next day. They even still manage to look cute. But you look like your soul was sucked out by the devil.

5. Traveling with them is impossible. They’re up at the crack of dawn and ready to get on the road before you’ve even brushed your teeth. And then they’re all happy-go-lucky throughout the entire trip while you seethe in exhaustion. You usually resort to the conclusion that you’ll probably have to kill them before the day is done.

6. They are definitely not the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you talk to at night.

7. In reality, by the time you wake up, they’ve actually spoken to multiple people. And gotten half of their to-do list done. And solved world hunger.

8. When you receive ‘good morning’ texts from them, it takes you a couple hours to reply. And usually the reply involves reassuring them that no, you’re not dead. You were just still waking up.

9. When they’re happy and smiley in the morning, you often debate temporarily breaking up with them.

10. If they ever do end up sleeping in late, they look at you accusingly – like you have some kind of disease and you gave it to them.

11. You’ve had to apologize to them multiple times after they’ve woken you up and you were accidentally an asshole for the first 30 seconds.

12. They’re always thoughtfully sending you articles about How To Have An Easier Time Waking Up or How To Become A Morning Person.

13. And you just have to say Thanks, honey. But this is who I am.

14. If you do get up before the normal time they’ve come to expect from you, they look at you like some dangerous, wild animal that just escaped from the zoo.

15. When you initially discovered the horrible truth about them being a morning person, you thought, hey, maybe this will turn me into a morning person too! But you were so, so wrong. In fact, it’s made you hate waking up even more than you already do.

16. Your pillow talk is always off. They want to share all their problems with you at the crack of dawn when you’re still comatose, and you want to vomit all your worries and fears onto them at midnight when they’ve already been asleep for two hours.

17. Many of your conversations involve them trying to convince you that getting up at 6 in the morning is so worth it and so incredible. And then you replying that there’s simply no chance in hell. But somehow, you make it work and manage to spend a few waking hours together during the day. TC mark