Thought Catalog


Ten (Breaking Up) Texts I Should Have Sent You But Didn’t

Posted: 13 Jan 2016 08:00 PM PST

IMG_0128

1.

How do I say this poetically: you fucking destroyed me.

2.

The number of calls from you on my phone is zero. The number of calls from me to you is one. When you hear the voicemail, I hope you don't hear the desperation in the way I wish you all the luck in the world and tell you how pleased I am for you. I hope you don't hear the way my lungs breathe 'iloveyouineedyoupleasedontgo' every time I draw in a breath.

3.

I am so determined to be the girl who lets you go so that you can come back, I forget to accommodate for the fact that sometimes wild things do not return, not even for their young and you and I have no such bond or hold on each other.

4.

I only learned that I was a cage when I realised I was in love with someone who was in love with someone else and would rather lie than tell me.

5. 

I have also learned that three days of alcohol induced slumber is still not enough to get rid of every sugar spun dream I have of you. It is still a shock when I reach for you in the mornings and you are not there.

6. 

There are a thousand poems in the way you left a girl with so much hope that she no longer knows how to breathe promise without it ringing with your name.

7. 

I am still tasting forevers in the way your eyes meet mine, even though your lips are using words like "space" and "travel" and "promise. And I am nodding because I understand, when I was a little girl, I set free a cage of captured birds in my Aunt's home, because there is something in the way birds fly after captivity that makes them seem almost holy.

8. 

It was the way your lip curled on the word "promise" that makes me uncomfortable. There are only three other people in my life that have ever used that word, and they are all strangers now.

9.

I am learning to accept that caged birds never return to say thank you when they are set free, and not everything that flies after captivity deserves to be called holy.

10.

I hope the forever you found in her doesn’t turn to ash like it did with me. I hope wherever you are in this world, that you are truly happy. TC mark

15 Little Poems That Do The Dirty Work Of Breaking Up For You

Posted: 13 Jan 2016 07:00 PM PST

. Entrer dans le rêve
. Entrer dans le rêve

1. 
The first few dates were great,
Conversations filled with laughter,
But then we had sex,
And you washed my hair right after.


2. 
I thought I could like you,
But now I know you’re a total chump,
Since you’re totally serious,
About voting for Donald Trump.


3. 
Your glasses won me over,
I really must confess,
But it ruined it for me,
That you got them at CVS.


4. 
I thought I was The One,
But now I feel pretty stupid,
Since I know about your exploits,
On Tinder, Match, and OkCupid.


5.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
This isn't working out, though,
And it’s not me, really, it's you.


6. 
The sun is yellow,
The sky is blue,
The first few months were fun,
But I'm bored to death by you.


7. 
You said you were chill,
But you’re a total fucking liar,
If you keep asking who I’m texting,
I’ll set my hair on fire.


8. 
I need to be straightforward,
Cause you're a pretty decent guy.
You waste space on my DVR,
And that makes me want to cry.


9. 
You said you wanted to date me,
And I thought you knew the drill,
But you ghosted twice this week,
Then texted: “Netflix and chill?”


10. 
I asked you repeatedly,
To prove you give a damn,
But I caught you redhanded
Liking your ex's Instagram.


11.  
You never wanted me coming over,
And there was a reason, clearly.
You never change your sheets,
And you watch The Big Bang Theory.


12. 
You used to be a sweetheart,
Always calling on the phone,
But you became a serious asshole,
Once I plucked you from the friend zone.


13. 
You’re really fucking cheap,
For reasons totally invalid,
So bounce and let me pay the check,
Cause I don’t want another salad.


14. 
I wasn’t expecting a lot,
But don’t give me that look,
How is it even possible,
That you’ve never read a book?


15. 
Winter winds are chilly,
Summer breezes are hot
I can’t say I don’t care,
That you smoke so much pot. TC mark

The Difference Between A Friend And A Soulmate

Posted: 13 Jan 2016 06:00 PM PST

susanyim
susanyim

Your twenties are a weird time, for a lot of reasons. You become an actual adult with real responsibilities (because college didn’t count). People your age start having babies. You start looking at the world with a new pair of eyes. Topics like the merits of using one cable company versus another become part of your everyday conversations. You think about health insurance. You think about 401k’s. You think about your own mortality.

But one of the weirdest parts about your twenties is the way that your friendships change.

It was so easy, before now. Yes, you worked hard to make sure your friends had good birthdays, and someone to talk to about their worries and fears, and someone they knew they could always count on. But still, there was less effort that went into it. Because your friendships in college were your LIFE. You saw them every day. In class. In your dorm room. At any bar around campus that you went to. On the walk to Econ 101. When you stopped in Jimmy John’s for a sandwich on your walk back. At the meetings for the organizations that you were involved in. At any party you went to. In the dining halls. In the kitchen you shared in your beloved 4-person apartment senior year. Your friends just showed up, like magical little surprises, everywhere you went. And it was such a natural part of your existence – the knowledge that you would simply see your friends with no planning required – that you didn’t even think about it.

But then you’re in your early mid-twenties and slowly, and then suddenly, no matter how many friends you have, you feel so, so alone.

Because the foundation of your life, no matter how happy or unhappy you are, is this: wake up, make a living, go home, sleep, wake up, do it all over again. And if you work hard enough, that existence is sprinkled with little happy hours, intramural sports leagues, book clubs, catch-up dinners and Ahh-I’m-so-tired-can-we-reschedule dinners, Memorial Day Weekend reunions, Netflix marathons, FaceTime chats. And they make you happy, and keep your social calendar full, and ensure you get the emotional recharging you need from the people you care about. But it’s not natural. It takes effort. Even the most exciting reunion dinner with a friend from college is still tiring – no matter how happy it makes you – if you’ve been up since before sunrise for work.

So little by little, after you blink and realize you’re now twenty-seven instead of twenty-two, your friendships begin to fizzle. Not by choice. Not because someone did something wrong. Not because you no longer have anything in common. But because your friends aren’t the sole focus of your life anymore. Because your life is no longer just wake up, go to class, do homework, and then socialize. Your life now is bills and deadlines and job interviews and performance reviews and taxes and maybe searching for a mate and maybe trying to make it work if you’ve already found a mate and attending weddings and being in weddings and going to baby showers and trying to find the energy to do laundry after work and crowded subway rides and snoozing the alarm three times and flying home if you (ever) have a spare weekend because you haven’t seen your family in four months. There’s so much to think about now, so much to worry about, so much to get done.

And it is in these moments, in-between the grocery shopping and the cooking and the commuting and the late nights at the office, that your soulmates begin to emerge – the two, or three, or four friends you have that become your other little family. The people that carry you through adulthood. The ones that act like a talisman inside you on your darkest of days. There is nothing wrong with your other friends. Nothing they are missing, nothing they did to upset you. But there is something extra that exists between you and your soulmates. There’s the warm feeling you have in your stomach when you sit at dinner with them – a feeling that comes from the easy conversation, the bottle of red wine that you all agreed on with just one look, and the feeling that you are sitting amongst people who truly understand you. There’s the wave of relief that washes over you when you are reunited with one of them in a hug, because it’s been a few days since you’ve seen them and it feelings like eternity. There’s the knowledge that when you have a bad day at work, or a broken heart, or a feeling of being lost in the middle of your own life, that they will listen to you, they will hear you, they will know how to make you feel less alone.

Your twenties bring the death of a lot of friendships. But they’re also responsible for the birth of friendships that are much deeper, fulfilling, and heartening than you’ve ever experienced in your life.

For my first couple years out of college, I mourned a lot of friendships that I just wasn’t ready to let go of. I thought of the way we were in college – how light, how simple, how easy it was – and I wanted it to still be that way. But it couldn’t be. I had friends across the country, some halfway across the world. Friends who were getting engaged, friends who were having babies, friends who were moving up the corporate ladder at a shocking pace, friends who were drowning in the stress of grad school, friends who literally had no clue what they were doing. And it wasn’t that I couldn’t be friends with people who were in different situations or stages of life than me – on the contrary, that’s one of the most beautiful parts of friendship. But I couldn’t have a three-dimensional, all-encompassing, we-know-every-detail-about-one-another’s-current-life relationship with all of these people, all of the time, all at once. Because life was getting in the way. And it just wasn’t possible anymore.

Eventually, I came to terms with the fact that it just couldn’t be the way it was in college. Life was different now. Not worse, not depressing. Just different.

After a long enough time, a space began to grow between my friends and my soulmates. Not a bad space, not a negative space – just a space that helped me to understand the difference. My friends were still my friends – we occasionally exchanged funny text messages back and forth, we liked one another’s statuses as a lazy way of showing we were happy for each other about the good news we were sharing, I smiled when old pictures of us popped up on Facebook. And that was it.

And then there were my soulmates. The home I had away from home. The family that took care of me when mine was five hundred miles away. The ones who never had to ask “What’s new with you?” because they already knew my boss’s name and my plans for next month and how I spent my Saturday mornings now that I was no longer a drunk college student. The ones who, even if they didn’t live in the same city as me, I somehow felt even closer to now than I did in college.

It’s great to have friends in adulthood. People you look forward to seeing again at weddings, who make you smile when you see they’ve written on your Facebook, whose Snapchat stories still make you laugh. But what’s even better is the emergence of your soulmates. Your tribe. Your supporters, your family, the ones who keep you sane. The ones you would do anything for, and vice versa. The sanctuary from small talk, the pep-talkers, the ones you can trust to tell you what you need – not want – to hear, the ones who will watch Making a Murderer with you for six hours.  The people who make you feel like the best is yet to be.

Most of those other people will always be my distant friends. And I’m okay with that. I’m at peace with the fact that it will never be the way it once was. Because why would you want to go back to the past, after you’ve found your soulmates? TC mark

What It Means To Love Them Enough

Posted: 13 Jan 2016 05:00 PM PST

istockphoto.commilos-kreckovic
istockphoto.com / milos-kreckovic

The fifth time that you said you were leaving,
you started sleeping on the dining room floor.

I would sneak in between two and three am,
the floorboards creaking and our hearts buckling under the weight
of all the worlds we had not chosen
and I'd curl in beside you,
pulling crumpled-up love letters from the crevices
of the castles you would make out of sheets.

It all seemed so simple, in the moonlight
with your drowsy arms reaching out around me
and our love letters littering the floor, we could almost pretend
that the Universe wasn't unhinging around us,
rearranging while we lay there so still.

I loved you so much that it was fucked up.
And that became a question that would burn on my tongue for years after you left.

"It's going well," friends would coo over photos of their new significant other. "We're going on vacation together."

"Right, right," I'd want to tell them, "But is it totally fucked, how much you love them?"

Did their arrival crash-land your central nervous system;
Endings firing and systems re-wiring and the touch
of their hands igniting landmines
through the valleys of your skin?

And when they sleep, is there a Universe that stretches
in between their shoulder blades,
Constellations you can map inside their freckles,
and galaxies expanding with each breath?

When they are happy, does the whole world rise to meet them,
like the greatest thaw of springtime taking hold inside their smile
and are you almost too afraid to touch them sometimes,
As though something that brilliant and pure could not possibly exist in human form,
As though the trace of their skin upon yours
may somehow shatter their fragile other-verse,
crumbling them back into the stardust
they were made of all along?

Do you love them so much that you would promise them
a world you couldn't possibly deliver
And would you sleep on the dining room floor
every evening for the rest of your existence
if you thought that it might make them stay?

And during the coldest of hours
When the springtime in their smile has frosted over,
When the dilapidated remnants of their infamous crash landing turns to dust and the galaxy that stretches in their rib cage flares and disappears into darkness
how much are you going to love them, then?

Would you swallow their pain like a poison,
letting it sink into your bloodstream, infiltrating the whole of your heart?

And if the winter returned to their smile
and their eyes could no longer meet your gaze,
would you love them still?

Would you recite every love letter you wrote them, begging their extinguished solar system to rebuild itself alongside yours,
or would you pack the letters into a box,
return the cushions to the living room couch,
close the dining room door and let the seasons of their heart
just keep on changing?

I know that you love them so much but what I'm asking you here is a question that I used to ask myself
every morning while the moonlight filtered in around my skin,
creating a prism that I could have stayed frozen forever within,

I know that you love them so much
But could you love them enough
To let them go? TC mark

This Is How I Know I Love You

Posted: 13 Jan 2016 04:00 PM PST

Joe St.Pierre
Joe St.Pierre

He asks how I know to believe.
The tulips in the front yard are wilting,
despite my efforts to water them.
Sometimes,
I forget.
Sometimes,
my hands are too rough
and I don’t know how to smooth out the parts I should.
I don’t always remember the right ways to care for someone.

My love, I’ve never known how to believe in anything I couldn’t see.

So I put his hand atop mine,
study the way we naturally fit our fingers in all the empty spaces.
Like we’ve been waiting our entire lives
to touch so simply.

He asks how I know I want him.
My body responds before I even have the chance
Back arches and bends,
creating bridges to connect us.
I guess I cannot stand the idea
of never being able to find a way back to each other.

He asks how I know I love him.
I point to the dirty dishes in the sink, 
pull his lips directly into mine,
humming my answer. 

My love, it's because we've got all this mess in every corner,
and I still don't want to leave.
TC mark

The 10 Biggest Mistakes Guys Make When They Try To Quit Porn

Posted: 13 Jan 2016 03:00 PM PST

Twenty20, jordanobingerphoto
Twenty20, jordanobingerphoto

Quitting porn is a rough road. Triggers are at every turn waiting to sabotage you. Relapsing threatens your self esteem and belief in yourself. Sometimes the struggle is just so long and arduous that the easiest thing to do is just quit trying and live as a chronic porn user.

I know the struggle. Today I've compiled ten of the major mistakes we make when trying to quit porn. Knowledge of these mistakes is a requirement if you are going to seriously quit porn.

1. They assume that they can cure themselves just by staying away from porn.

It won't. More often than not, your porn use goes beyond pornography. It could involve low self esteem as a teen or even a traumatic event as a child. Whether it’s one year or four years—if the root cause of your porn use is not handled, porn will inevitably creep back into your life.

Some men have progressed far beyond their porn addiction into sex addiction and even acting out their fantasies on willing and unwilling participants.

Don't fuck around with your recovery, guys. You're going to have to change the person that porn made you.

2. They approach recovery with less enthusiasm than they approach watching porn with.

Recovery is not a walk in the park. Too many guys think that some 90-day commitment to abstaining from masturbation and pornography will save them.

Bluntly speaking, it won't. If pornography consumed your life—if you couldn't wait to get back home to launch those browsers, if you ran back to porn every time you experienced even the slightest bit of stress in your life, if all you think about on a weekend night is how much fun you're going to have watching porn—then you must be just as enthusiastic about quitting porn.

Anything less than the obsessiveness you gave to porn use will not work. The recovery process requires commitment and self discipline. How long do you have to be committed to the process?

AS LONG AS IT TAKES.

3. They underestimate the challenge of recovery.

I struggled with porn for 11 years. I experienced one month where I decisively harnessed every ounce of willpower and discipline that I had to apply every lesson I'd learned over those years into conquering porn once and for all. The details of that month are chronicled in the Quit Porn In 30days Video Course and Ebook.

I never relapsed after those 30 days, but make no mistake- it took me TWO MORE YEARS to rewire my brain and change the person I had become thanks to porn. Till today, I take no chances. I still maintain strong habits that ensure I will never relapse. I meditate daily. I study every book and scientific journal that comes out regarding addiction- especially pornography addiction. I'm alert to potential triggers.

Recovery has no definite timeline. Maybe it will take you five years to recover. Maybe a decade. Be prepared to work at it for AS LONG AS IT TAKES.

4. They become self-improvement junkies.

The internet is mired in "self improvement" information. Its not uncommon, in the process of quitting porn, to take up an active interest in self improvement.

I personally have a library of hundreds of self improvement books. I've read all of them and if I could change anything about my history with self improvement, I would have picked two solid books and not read another until I had mastered the principles in both of them.

There is one pitfall with reading and watch self improvement videos everyday.

Self Improvement is more often than not, mental masturbation.

Self improvement is not a substitute for recovery. It will make you "feel good" and perhaps take some limited action on certain area in your life, but it will not cause help you give up pornography use.

Bear in mind that many of the "self-improvement" gurus you follow and study are in denial about their porn use.

5. They ignore serious relationship problems.

If you are in a relationship, chances are your porn use is contributing to some of the problems you have.

Whether its physical problems like low libido, erectile dysfunction or problems like infidelity, loss of attraction to your partner because porn is your preference, depression or an increase in misogynistic tendencies, trying to quit porn while in a messed up relationship is like trying to put out a house fire by pouring gasoline on it.

Your relationships, especially your romantic relationships can rarely be separated from your heavy porn use. If you are emotionally dependent on your partner, this weakness will only MAGNIFY your porn use.

If you have a partner that nags, complains and has no inclination to support you in your recovery, you're better of single. If you have a partner whom you are emotionally dependent on, fix your emotional dependence or quit the relationship. Its likely that this move will shift your recovery into fifth gear.

6. They assume that porn addiction is their only problem.

Porn is rarely the only problem you have. You're hosting a party and porn never comes to the party alone. It always brings friends and the longer and harder your party, the crazier the friends it invites. We now understand that porn changes the brain. You can never assume that your only problem with porn is that you "watch too much and masturbate too much"

Here are a few examples of some of the problems that "party" with porn:

— Erectile Dysfunction

— Lack of Motivation

— sex addiction

— Depression

— Sexual deviancy & change in sexual preference

— Internet addiction

— Low Self Esteem and Self Hate

— Increased drug and alcohol use

Porn use can’t be handled by stopping your porn use alone. All the problems associated with it must be identified and worked on together. The reason why you assume that porn is your only problem is because you want to come across as normal and give yourself the illusion that you are in control.

If you love to drink and get high, drugs and alcohol could also be a problem. Many of my relapses occurred when I had come back from a bar or club after a night of drinking, or after smoking up. The truth is that recovery from your porn use may require complete disuse of drugs alcohol.

Cross addiction is also very common. Sex addiction can quickly replace porn addiction.

7. They think they’re special.

Back in the day, when a man was born, he knew his place. A prince was a prince, a peasant was a peasant, a butcher was a butcher, a farmer was a farmer and you had to be satisfied with your lot.

As the world becomes wealthier, smaller and more connected, we are exposed to more possibilities. We can become anything. We are all special.We live in a world where we are bombarded with how special everyone is. Everyone is making money online, firing their boss and becoming an entrepreneur, everyone is becoming incredibly self disciplined and getting a six pack, men are learning game and becoming players, banging 10's and finding their masculinity in the process… on and on and on.

Readily accessible information has lead to readily accessible inadequacy and insecurity.

The raw and unfiltered truth is that WE ARE NOT SPECIAL. We watch porn and masturbate, sitting down at our masturbation stations at 1:00AM with a limp dick and a sperm soaked bunch of tissues wondering how why we just watched something so fucked up and feeling like shit. We approach women rarely and get shut down and blown out. We get angry at ourselves and generate self hate.

Some of us just want a girlfriend, happiness and a steady job that pays enough to cover our expenses and save a respectable amount- and that's alright. That's alright provided you remember that to achieve these things you still need to strive to be the best you can be. And the best you can be is not special.

8. They’re dishonest.

One of the characteristics of a chronic or compulsive porn user is dishonesty. We lie about our porn use, we lie about the sort of porn we watch, we lie about even watching porn. If there is one thing I'm good at, its setting bullshitters straight.

I receive emails from men who tell me they have given up pornography for multiple months, but are still experiencing massive urges to masturbate. Upon further digging, I find out that they are still using Instagram, read Hentai online and read erotica.

Lying to others about your porn use is one thing. Lying to yourself about it will keep you frustrated in your recovery efforts for a long time.

9. They try to become Mr. Perfect.

Overcoming porn use, as you now know is no walk in the park. Its a rough climb up a mountain on an uncertain path. QuitPornGetGirls can help you climb the path in the light- with information, no bullshit motivation and and occasional hand holding, but the journey is one that you make on your own with bucketfuls of self belief and perseverance.

Some of us want to be the very best at what we do. We want to pass all our classes, arrange our works paces just right, pick up the girl with the perfect sequence of approach to close, and quit porn by following a recovery program to the T.

Being Mr. Perfectionist will make this journey longer and harder than it needs to be. You will fail.

You will relapse.

It may not take you 90 days to quit, you may find out you have other addictions, you may quit porn for good and struggle with erectile dysfunction for a few months after.

Its o.k.

Make the commitment and push through till the very end.

Fail your way to success.

10. They try to fix everything.

O.k, so you have relationship problems, are cross addicted to sex, you suffer from ED and you're depressed. Jumping into the mess and trying to fix everything at once will leave you overwhelmed and stressed which make this journey tougher than it has to be.

The simple solution is to attack one problem at a time. You first have to find out which problem is the most urgent. How do you figure this out? By conducting a very detailed analysis each time you relapse.

I've included a detailed 10-page Porn Relapse Analysis Worksheet with this post. Download it, print out multiple copies and fill it out completely each time you experience a relapse. TC mark

This post originally appeared at Quit Porn, Get Girls.

11 Mindblowing In Vitro Fertilization Mix-Ups And Mistakes

Posted: 13 Jan 2016 02:00 PM PST

via twenty20/thequietshutter
via twenty20/thequietshutter1.

1.

In 2002 in the United Kingdom, a White couple known only as Mr. and Mrs. A underwent in vitro fertilization and produced twins. The telling trait in this case that tipped the couple off that there’d been a mix up was that both twins were Black. It turns out that there had been one of two mixups. Either they’d used the egg of a Black couple who were trying to conceive or they’d used her husband’s sperm to fertilize Mrs. A’s egg. Mr. And Mrs. A decided to keep the twins but unfortunately the Black couple who had also been trying to conceive wanted the twins as well.

But law, it appears, won the day. Britain’s Human Fertilisation and Embryology Act 1990 stipulates that whatever woman actually carries a baby to term and delivers it is legally the mother. It doesn’t matter if the the egg that produced that child wasn’t hers.

This actually seems to have happened more than people know but it’s not usually as easy to tell as when White and Black genetic material are mixed together.

beetlejuice

2.

This also happened in 1998 when an American woman gave birth to two children through IVF and one child was White while the other was Black. In that case, the Black couple whose genetic material was used sued the woman who had declared she would be keeping both. After a long court battle the Black couple won the custody rights to raise the Black child.

This one seems particularly weird to me. I mean clearly there’d been a screw up so how many babies do you really need?

beetlejuice

3.

In 2009, another British couple were informed that their very last viable egg had been used in another woman’s IVF procedure. Even worse, the woman who had undergone the procedure with the couple’s egg later aborted the pregnancy.

beetlejuice

4.

In another case, also in Britain, a couple were given their poorest quality eggs during the IVF procedure while the woman’s best quality eggs were given to second, totally different woman. Since the poorer quality eggs were used, the procedure didn’t take and the embryo had to be removed. The couple had no more eggs to use after that.

Where did the second woman’s eggs go? Oh, they went to a third woman. So, nobody got the right eggs.

beetlejuice

5.

In a case that just seems gross, one woman gave birth to two babies, one Black and one White, simply because the instrument to administer the sperm hadn’t been properly cleaned and there was still sperm from a previous procedure still inside it.

beetlejuice

6.

In 2011, American woman Carolyn Savage underwent an IVF procedure hoping to have a fourth child after having several miscarriages in past attempts. Instead, when she became pregnant from the procedure she was informed that the embryo wasn’t hers.

I have to say though that Carolyn seems like she’s pretty amazing. Knowing that the other couple might not be able to ever carry a baby of their own to term (IVF is in no way foolproof), she carried the baby to term and then gave it over to the genetic parents despite the extreme emotional trauma of doing so.

In reviewing what went wrong at the clinic to cause the mix up it appears that a clerical error was to blame.

beetlejuice

7.

In 2014 in Italy, a woman was given another woman’s embryo which resulted in twins. This was only discovered months later when doctors were doing a pre-natal check of the fetus’s DNA and discovered it did not match the woman or her husband.

It was later determined that a second woman with a name only three letters different from the first woman received the first woman’s embryo and that both women had been scheduled for an IVF procedure on the same day in the exact same hospital. The mix up, it seems, was just a product of misreading labels or one of the women responded to a different name being called by the nurse.

The second woman’s procedure resulted in miscarriage but, as in Britain, Italian law states that whoever carries the baby and gives birth to it is legally the mother so she had no legal recourse to claim the first woman’s baby, her genetic child, was legally hers.

beetlejuice

8.

This year, in Poland, a couple sought and received an IVF procedure from a public Warsaw hospital after two previous attempts at IVF at a private clinic had met with failure. This third attempt succeeded but, once born, the baby was sickly and received a battery of tests including genetic testing which determined the baby and mother were not a genetic match. The husband’s sperm had been used but the wife’s egg had not.

The couple sued the hospital for the mix up but the court determined her case was without merit. Apparently a baby is a baby to the Polish courts.

beetlejuice

9.

In 2009, a Northern Ireland couple gave birth to a biracial baby after a sperm mix up.

beetlejuice

10.

In 2004, a California woman won a lawsuit against an IVF clinic that gave her the wrong embryo and then, after discovering the mixup, covered the mistake up until the baby was nearly a year old. She got a million dollars as damages.

beetlejuice

11.

In another case, a British couple who are of Mediterranean descent underwent an IVF procedure to have a second child and ended up with a pale skinned, red headed baby who looked more Celtic than should have been possible. Neither the husband nor the wife believed that the boy was theirs however they decided against genetic testing opting instead to decide the boy was their son no matter what and that a genetic test could only harm that relationship. TC mark

50 Quotes That Every INTP Will Instantly Relate To

Posted: 13 Jan 2016 01:00 PM PST

DavidGavilanes
DavidGavilanes

1. "The possession of knowledge does not kill the sense of wonder and mystery. There is always more mystery."

–Anais Nin


2. “Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”

–Albert Einstein


3. “I freed 1000 slaves. I could have freed 1000 more if only they knew they were slaves.”

–Harriet Tubman


4. "Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth."

–Marcus Aurelius


5. "Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age 18."

–Albert Einstein


6. “Some people never go crazy, what truly horrible lives they must live!”

–Charles Bukowski


7. “People interest me, conversations don't.”

–Gregory House


8. "Minds, like bodies, will often fall into a pimpled, ill-conditioned state from mere excess of comfort."

–Charles Dickens


9. "The unrest which keeps the never-stopping clock metaphysics going is the thought that the non-existence of this world is just as possible as its existence."

–William James


10. "No amount of experimentation can ever prove me right; a single experiment can prove me wrong."

–Albert Einstein


11. "You don't understand anything until you learn it more than one way."

–Marvin Minsky


12. “The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.”

–Rudyard Kipling


13. "Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them."

–Albert Einstein


14. “We can’t define anything precisely. If we attempt to, we get into that paralysis of thought that comes to philosophers… one saying to the other: ‘You don’t know what you are talking about!’ The second one says: ‘What do you mean by talking? What do you mean by you? What do you mean by know?'”

–Richard Feynman


15. “My passion is for scientific truth. I don't much care about good and evil. I care about what's true.”

–Richard Dawkins


16. “Science is the belief in the ignorance of experts.”

–Richard Feynman


17. “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.”

–Albert Einstein


18. “My mind rebels at stagnation. Give me problems, give me work, give me the most abstruse cryptogram, or the most intricate analysis, and I am in my own proper atmosphere. But I abhor the dull routine of existence. I crave for mental exaltation.”

–Sir Arthur Conan Doyle


19. "The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one."

–George Bernard Shaw


20. “Nobody realizes that some people expend their tremendous energy merely to be normal.”

–Albert Camus


21. “In science it often happens that scientists say, ‘You know that’s a really good argument; my position is mistaken,’ and then they would actually change their minds and you never hear that old view from them again. They really do it. It doesn’t happen as often as it should, because scientists are human and change is sometimes painful. But it happens every day. I cannot recall the last time something like that happened in politics or religion.”

–Carl Sagan


22. “Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.”

–Groucho Marx


23. “When people believe a conclusion is true, they are also very likely to believe arguments that appear to support it, even when these arguments are unsound.”

–Daniel Kahneman


24. “Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing worth knowing is taught.”

–Oscar Wilde


25. “Of course you can’t ‘trust’ what people tell you on the web anymore than you can ‘trust’ what people tell you on megaphones, postcards or in restaurants. Working out the social politics of who you can trust and why is, quite literally, what a very large part of our brain has evolved to do.”

–Douglas Adams


26. "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts."

–Bertrand Russell


27. “I have no particular talent. I am merely inquisitive.”

–Albert Einstein


28. “The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.”

–George Bernard Shaw


29. “A man said to the universe: ‘Sir, I exist!’ ‘However,’ replied the universe, ‘The fact has not created in me a sense of obligation.'”

–Stephen Crane


30. “It's a waste to chase the pipe dream of a magical tiny theory that allows us to make quick and detailed calculations about the future. We can't predict and we can't control. To accept this can be a source of liberation and inner peace. We're part of the unfolding world, surfing the chaotic waves.”

–Rudy Rucker


31. “Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.”

–Steve Jobs


32. “In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”

–Douglas Adams


33. “Science is what you know, philosophy is what you don't know.”

–Bertrand Russell


34. “Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends on your frame of reference.”

–Albert Einstein


35. "There's no reality except the one contained within us. That's why so many people live an unreal life. They take images outside them for reality and never allow the world within them to assert itself."

–Hermann Hesse


36. “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”

–Friedrich Nietzsche


37. “There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.”

–Friedrich Nietzsche


38. “Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate to others the things that seem important to oneself.”

–C.G. Jung


39. “Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.”

–Bill Watterson


40. “Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.”

–Siddhrtha Gautama


41. “Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”

–George Bernard Shaw


42. “That which can be destroyed by the truth, should be.”

–P. C. Hodgel


43. "History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That’s why events are always reinterpreted when values change. We need new versions of history to allow for our current prejudices."

–Bill Watterson


44. "Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth."

–Henry David Thoreau


45. “Reality continues to ruin my life.”

–Bill Watterson


46. “If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.”

–Henry David Thoreau


47. “The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd; indeed in view of the silliness of the majority of mankind, a widespread belief is more likely to be foolish than sensible.”

–Bertrand Russell


48. "Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change."

–Stephen Hawking


49. “Any man can withstand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.”

–Abe Lincoln


50. “There are no facts, only interpretations.”

–Friedrich NietzscheTC mark


10 Famous Dead Bodies You Can Actually Visit

Posted: 13 Jan 2016 12:00 PM PST

Are you bored with ghosts and tired of true crime? Yeah, I get it. For those of us with a truly creepy side, sometimes you need a little more stimulation than scary movies or Lifetime ghost stories. Sometimes, you need a real dead body to freak you out or intrigue your weirdo brain properly. Lucky for you, you don't need to go gravedigging to satisfy your creepy-crawly itch. You can go see some famous dead bodies on your next vacation!

King Tut

t-bet
t-bet

This one's a no-brainer. The famous Boy King of Egypt has been dead for over 3,000 years, but people are still flocking to see him. The discovery and subsequent exhumation of his tomb in the early 1900s brought tales of both incredible riches and of an evil curse. The curse was probably a hoax, but you can see for yourself when you visit him. You can't see his actual mummy, since it's chillin' in the Valley of the Kings, but his death mask travels around. Close enough, right? Did you know it took a whopping 70 days to mummify a dead person in ancient Egypt?

Saint Bernadette

Rabanus Flavus
Rabanus Flavus

When Bernadette was a young teen, she started having visions of the Virgin Mary, 18 in total. Bernadette stuck to her story for the rest of her life, though she died relatively young at only 35. Her body was exhumed and was said to be totally without blemish, even after many years. She was exhumed twice more, in 1919 and 1925, and parts of her body were taken as relics because everyone was like "OMG! She looks great! She must be a saint." She was canonized in 1933, and her corpse rests in They covered her corpse in a "light wax" to keep her skin from turning black, thinking that the natural color of death would turn away tourists. People come to see Bernadette in hopes that she'll heal them of their illnesses. You can see her in Nevers, France.

The Soap Lady

WTF happened to the woman known as the "Soap Lady?" She probably died in the mid-19th century, but upon her exhumation in 1875 it was discovered that her body was covered in a weird fatty substance, sort of like soap of that time period. No one put this stuff on her, though; she turned herself into soap post-death! It's pretty rare, but the Soap Lady proves that if you dream really hard, you can be anything – even soap. (OK, we kid.) Check her out at the Mutter Museum in Philly.

Vladimir Lenin

Russian political figure Lenin died in 1924 as the result of several strokes, but his devotees acted fast and had his body embalmed so well that it still looks perfect, as if Lenin is just taking a nap. They even change his suits! Visit him at the Lenin Museum in Russia.

Lady Dai

Huangdan2060
Huangdan2060

When you think about insanely detail mummification, you probably think of Egypt. However, it's China who did an impeccable job preserving the Lady of Dai, a Chinese ruler's wife, who died anywhere between 178-145 B.C. You can check her out at the Hunan Provincial Museum, and you'll be shocked at how great she looks for her advanced age. When her corpse was discovered, she was still moist. (Ew.) After she died, probably around 50 from a heart attack, her body was kept in four (!!) coffins underground and she was cloaked in layers of silk to preserve her. Like the Egyptians, Lady Dai was buried with plentiful treasures for her afterlife. Scientists have no idea how this mummification process was carried out way back in the day; it's an ancient Chinese mystery!

The Ice Maiden

This poor young girl (she was probably 12 or 13) was in the wrong place at the wrong time. She had the misfortune of being sacrificed to the gods about 500 years ago in Peru, and even though that was supposed to be a big honor, she still died, so that sucks. In 1995, a volcano erupted nearby and her mummy, along with a young boy and a woman, was discovered under layers of ice and snow. Her mummy was well-preserved by winter! Think about that the next time you're complaining about the icy temps. Researchers think Juanita (the name she was given by her '90s fans) was probably clubbed in the head at the time of sacrifice. You can see her at the Museo Santuarios de Altura in Peru.

St. Anthony

You can't see the entire bod of St. Anthony, but you can visit his chin and tongue when it goes on tour! St. Anthony died way back in 1231, and his body was exhumed some years later. Most of it looked pretty bad, as bodies tend to do, but his chin and tongue were in shockingly beautiful shape. So beautiful that the church encased them in fancy gold, believing that the lower half of his mouth had stayed preserved because of his gift for speaking the gospel in sermons. St. Anthony is also the patron saint of lost things, which is funny since his forearm travels around the world, too!

The Ice Man

Wikimedia Commons
Wikimedia Commons

We learned about the Ice Maiden, and now it's time to introduce you to the Ice Man. (Please note: I had terrible nightmares about the Ice Man as a child after seeing him on PBS.) They call him Otzi and he's chillin' (literally, LOL) in Italy. (Link: http://www.iceman.it/en/node/245) He was found in 1991 frozen in a glacier (tough luck) and is over 5,000 years old. When they found him, studies were done that showed he was probably suffering from gallstones and Lyme disease, which doesn't make for a very fun life. I mean, he ate pollen, so … it probably wasn't that fun to be Otzi, but now he's a certified celeb, so it all worked out!

Kim Jong-il

If you're a big fan of "Team America: World Police," you can go see Kim Jong-il lying in state. The North Korean leader is currently waiting for your visit in a mausoleum. By all accounts, he wasn't the nicest guy in the world.

The Elephant Man

Wikimedia Commons
Wikimedia Commons

Joseph Merrick's case has mystified doctors and scientists alike for years. It's thought that Merrick had Proteus syndrome, where your bones and tissues grow super fast. Merrick's story is super-sad; he was so deformed that he terrified children and spent time as a sideshow attraction. Eventually he was crushed to death with the weight of his own head when he accidentally fell asleep lying on his back. TC mark

10 Stages You Go Through After Having A Sex Dream About Someone You Don’t Even Really Like

Posted: 13 Jan 2016 11:00 AM PST

1. What the actual f*ck?

You’ve just woken up hot and bothered. No, but seriously bothered. Did that really just happen? You couldn’t possibly have been imagining that asshole from your office pumping away and you…actually enjoying it? WHAT THE HELL, BRAIN???

Gone Girl
Gone Girl

2. Questioning everything about yourself.

How could this happen? What did you do to deserve this? Why was your brain even thinking about that? Have you secretly wanted to have sex with them this whole time? Has your life been a giant lie?!?

Kroll Show
Kroll Show

3. Wave of disgust.

You’re garbage. You’re a garbage person who has garbage dreams. Your brain is some dickhead Judas and you cannot trust anything anymore.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy the Vampire Slayer

4. Arousal.

…But the dream was hot. Part of you wants to go back to sleep to see what happens in round two…

Good Luck Chuck
Good Luck Chuck

5. No, seriously. What the f*ck?

BUT WHY???? WHYYYYY?????????????

Black-ish
Black-ish

6. It’s just a dream…

Okay, you’re calming down now. It’s not a big deal. Dreams are weird! They don’t always have to mean something. Sometimes a cigar really is just a cigar, am I right?

The Real Housewives Of Orange County
The Real Housewives Of Orange County

7. DO I SECRETLY LOVE THEM?

Wait, hold on. Could this dream mean something? Have you just been running from your real feelings? Now you can’t stop thinking about your sex dream partner and wondering if there’s something about them you missed first time around. Could they be *gulp* The One?

The Grinder
The Grinder

8. Run to social media to confirm.

You need answers, pronto. You’ll pull up your phone and carefully type in their Instagram handle. A photo loads and you find yourself looking with a new set of eyes. Maybe you ARE attracted to them?

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo
Here Comes Honey Boo Boo

9. Preparing to see them in real life.

You had a sex dream. And now you’re about to see them in real life. Deep breath, you can do this. You’ve just secretly pictured their junk rubbed all up on yours, IT’S CHILL! Nothing is different, except for everything.

New Girl
New Girl

10. Lol, nevermind.

False alarm. Dream You clearly has very different taste than Real You. But hey, you’ll always have that night…

MTV Video Music Awards
MTV Video Music Awards
TC mark