Thought Catalog


Let’s Talk About How Good Things Come To An End

Posted: 07 Jan 2016 08:00 PM PST

benjaminandrew
benjaminandrew

Let's talk about how seasons change;
how ice thaws
and autumn leaves fall
and even flowers only blossom for one season each year
but their brevity doesn’t make their presence
any less beautiful or real.

Let's talk about stars
and how they all eventually die,
trailing their imprint through the night sky
for years after they're gone
And yet their death doesn't make the light they once gave off
any less powerful or pure.

Let's talk about stories,
How they rise and climax and fall, leaving us trembling insatiably for more
and yet every novel has a last page and every movie
has a scene with closing credits and it is widely concluded that the end
of a very good story
doesn't detract from the message it sends.

And then let's talk about love
and how it doesn't always get to last forever
Because sometimes it thaws
or flickers out
or reaches its climax,
then concludes

And yet, much like the seasons
and the stars
and the stories that exist all around it, love's end doesn't make its presence any less brilliant
or powerful
or real.

The truth is, nothing in nature lasts forever
and all living things eventually die
And so maybe love's stark disintegration doesn't always mean it was a failure
so much as just another force of nature

That leaves its imprint for years after it's gone. TC mark

My Clairvoyant Friend And I Are Digging Deep Into The Mystery Of ‘Making A Murderer’

Posted: 07 Jan 2016 07:00 PM PST

Netflix
Netflix

When I finished the Netflix documentary series “Making A Murderer” my first thought — like many of you, I’m sure — was WHAT THE HOLY HELL. After that, my second thought was WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO TERESA HALBACH?! Then after a few calming breaths, I thought I NEED TO TEXT AMY RIGHT NOW.

For those of you who don’t know, Amy (also called The Closet Clairvoyant) is, in my opinion, a very talented medium. I have worked on several “cases” with her so far, wherein I do the research and she does the reading. It usually consists of me sending her pictures of people, items, or locations, and she “reads” their energies to share information with me. Until now, I haven’t had a case that I felt required as much attention to detail — or that would be the most ideal to share with the world.

But as “Making A Murderer” came to a close with about as many loose ends as the scarf I bought in high school yet refuse to throw out because ~memories~, I realized this was something Amy had to see.

However, seeing as it’s such a smash hit, I worried Amy might have already watched the series and been tainted, as she calls it. (Amy, a true professional, insists on going into these cases with as little knowledge as possible, preferably none.) Lucky for me, holidays had delayed her from binge-watching like I had. And thus, the case was on.

This is an ongoing “investigation”, if you will. As we begin there will be information that is, clearly, available in the series itself. I’m sure some skeptics will cry “She just watched the show, that’s how she knows!” I take Amy at her word — and hopefully, you will too as we dive deeper into the rabbit hole. (I have also instructed her not to read these pieces as they are released, and she emphatically agreed.)

Up front, the information Amy discovers is typically fairly basic — relationships, roles, etc. These are the things that are easily discovered by watching the show. But then we’ll get to the heart of things, and both Amy and I sincerely hope the case will be reopened and examined again… because they may prove these readings to be true.

That being said, let’s begin. I started by sending Amy a photo of:

Teresa Halbach

Netflix
Netflix

Teresa is MAM’s victim, a photographer who was last seen at the Avery residence. This was Amy’s response via text:

First thing I get is she was “at the wrong place at the wrong time.” Her death was awful, moreso for the time/torture aspect of it. I see so many people involved. At least five. There are two men who took her from somewhere. It looks rural and maybe like a beat-up trailer home or something. There is junk in the yard around it. Like country folk.

That line “at the wrong place at the wrong time” gives me chills. I think that’s the perfect way to phrase it. If you don’t believe that Steven Avery killed Teresa, as I don’t, I think it had to be someone who nabbed her on the way off the Avery property. Which, by the way, is basically what Amy describes. Rural, trailer park, junk. Nail on the head.

Then… where the torture comes in… I see her tied up and duct tape on her mouth. There literally are at least three other older men standing there “discussing” how to kill her. Dispose of her. She is just listening to all of this and they are taking their sweet time.

I imagine this conversation would’ve had to be post-torture. Perhaps she was discovered by the older men after being tortured by younger men? Discussion was then had on how she couldn’t be found, she had to be “disposed of?”

They are all older…one has a pot belly…one is skinny. They feel well-educated where the men who did the actual deed feel like street thugs. I don’t feel they caught them…people did not come to justice.

This gives me the feeling that the older, better-educated men might be law enforcement since that’s the biggest theory in MAM: Steven Avery was set up, twice, by the Manitowoc County Police Department.

I am trying to get how she died. I see blood…so I know it was violent, more than strangling. I feel very, very sorry for her. Makes me sad.

We are told in MAM that Teresa ultimately died of two gunshots to the head. This is pretty violent, obviously. Amy wants to read deeper into this to see more about the actual murder. So, with that in place, I sent her a new picture of:

Steven Avery

Netflix
Netflix

Steven Avery is, obviously, the center of MAM. Accused rapist and murderer of Teresa Halbach. We discussed Steven Avery via text and over Skype:

The man, I just got instant sadness in my chest. So much sadness. I don’t feel he is one of the men.

Nor do I, Amy. Nor do I.

I just felt so much sadness in my chest when I looked at that picture, that was just like… I couldn’t breathe, when I felt it. Which I hope — usually, when I feel that much grief and sadness, in somebody in that area, usually — and I knock on wood, I’m not wishing this for him at all, but there’s a lot of sickness that comes with that. A lot of… physical ailments that manifest themselves because of that much grief. And he’s got it.

To me this makes a lot of sense. I would be shocked if Steven Avery WASN’T suffering from some physical illness at this point. The man has had one shitty run, after all.

Amy said she’d like to return to this man later as well, so next I sent over:

Bobby Dassey

Netflix
Netflix

Bobby Dassey is Steven Avery’s nephew and Brendan Dassey’s brother. I’ve had a bad feeling about him since he spouted off the line about Steven Avery telling him a “joke” about hiding the body, especially since he never told that to authorities — it was someone else. We also discussed Bobby Dassey via text and Skype:

This guy, I really need to read. There is something there. This guy is nasty.

I thought so too. I’ve got some suspicion on him but I don’t know what it is, exactly.

He has such… there’s no feeling. No feeling. How he plays into this, though, I’m not sure. He’s… a nephew of somebody? Or a relative of somebody involved in this thing.

Ding ding ding! We have a winner!

I’m trying to read if his coldness is because he’s pissed, or if he… he’s one of the two or three younger guys, I think, who took part in kidnapping her, torturing her. They took her to a place, um, that felt like to me like an old old shed, a giant shed or barn type of place, definitely not something that was furnished. It had, like, tools in there, rust, dirt. She’s tied up, sitting, duct-tape on her mouth.

Seems like there would be something like that around the Avery property for sure, or at least nearby. Interesting. They definitely checked Avery’s garage, like, a lot.

He’s a relative to someone important, I think, to this whole thing. Um, I may have misjudged him. Which is what I need to figure out. The first thing I’m seeing in him is just oh my god, this guy is so cold and bad and all this, but when I look at him, and really read into him right now I feel like he, uh, might be very… actually pissed off at the situation.

I found this really intriguing, so she dove deeper.

He’s upset. That’s where that coldness is coming from, I’m feeling? Not necessarily SURE that he’s on the bad side… He could literally kill someone, he’s that angry and upset, but I think actually this could be that he’s upset about the situation, maybe not on the bad side of things. I feel this 100%, he is SO dead inside over what is happening.

In my opinion, both aspects make total sense for a certain theory. If Bobby Dassey was involved in Teresa’s murder and corroborated with police to frame Steven Avery, I doubt it was ever suggested that his slow little brother would also be a suspect. It’s even suggested in MAM that Brendan Dassey was only brought in for questioning because they needed something more than circumstantial evidence. If you accidentally got someone you loved charged with a murder you committed, wouldn’t that make you dead inside?

More on Bobby Dassey later. Let’s finish up for now with:

The Avery Auto Salvage Yard

Google Maps
Google Maps

Amy gave me some very interesting insight on this shot of the salvage yard:

So, this just reminds me of a game. The reason I feel like I’m seeing that is because it IS a game. What is happening right now is players playing a game. That’s what I get. And I get that it is not from, um, this lifetime. These players have all done this before, it’s just rehashing, like a tape being played on repeat.

Who knows if this is a past life scenario playing itself out again, but we know Steven Avery HAS already been through this, and that the event itself DOES feel like a game being played by some very skilled players. This was not an easy task to pull off, it required a lot of finesse.

But this in particular… I feel like you could do a whole sitcom off of the people that are here. Like, uh, there’s characters. There’s like, four, five, six different people who are all… connected in this little land, and they… are characters. They’re just crazy, like, just… I see little cartoon characters, like gnomes, and imps. Strange people. Strange land.

I totally agree. Allan Avery, Steven Avery’s dad, cracks me up even during the most serious moments. Steven Avery’s mother, Dolores, is such a little ball of a woman and I just want to give her a hug. Plus you’ve got the whole Dassey/Janda clan and Steven Avery’s brothers… characters is the right word for it.

And there’s a ton of energy coming off that land that, you know, if you wiped out all the craziness and put luxury condos or something there, it’s still gonna have a funky feel, because that goes back a loooooong time… whatever THAT is.

Hmmm. This makes me wonder. What used to be where the auto salvage yard is now? Native American sacred land, burial grounds? Could account for all the bad mojo in that place. I never even considered that.


There’s a lot more to go into, obviously, as Amy continues to read this fascinating case. Whether you believe she’s the real deal or not, you have to admit her insight is interesting. Up next, readings for Brendan Dassey, Mike Halbach, Andrew Colburn, and James Lenk. TC mark

9 Unique Accounts Of Demonic Possession That Witnesses Absolutely Swear Are Real

Posted: 07 Jan 2016 06:00 PM PST

via Flickr - Pacheco
via Flickr – Pacheco

A majority of Americans polled in October 2012 admitted that they believed that demons who could inhabit your body existed. Specifically, 56% of men said they believed in demons who could do this and 59% women said the same. However, among people between the ages of 18-29 that number was even higher. 63% of people in that age group stated that they believed that it was “possible for people to be possessed by demons”.

Statistically, belief in demon possession in the U.S. outpaces those who even say they are religious. Why? Below are nine first-hand accounts of alleged demonic possessions that explain why it’s hard to deny things you’ve seen with your own eyes.

1. Madness At The Boarding School

One of my teachers used to work at a boarding school and one night during a school movie night a student left to use the restroom and after a bit of time had gone by my teacher went to check on her to make sure she was okay.. She wasn’t.. She was huddled in the corner of a shower foaming at the mouth with bloodshot eyes. My teacher freaked out and called a couple others over and the chick started spewing out random incoherent things in a really deep voice and stuff. Eventually she snapped out of it and didn’t remember a thing. They went to her dorm room after and I guess she had things like “I <3 Satan” written on her bunk bed and stuff. Pretty creepy.

I just remember that my teacher said she was hissing at her. Small detail but I thought I’d throw it in.

After this incident the girl left the school.

2. Djinns Of Morocco

I’ve never told that story to anyone because 1) just talking about it freaks me out good and 2) I know 99% of people won’t believe me.

I am a 6’2, rather fit man. I practice Aikido and can bench press 240. My father and his brothers are pretty much as tall as I am, maybe less strong due to age although most of them have been in fighting sports for a while. One of my aunts is about 5’4, probably weighs like 110lbs at best. There was this time when she really went plain crazy. She would get INCREDIBLY angry/out of control at random times, spitting nonsense words, and there would be absolutely no way I, or my father, or both of us would be able to get her down. This felt like DBZ Yamcha trying to get Perfect Cell into an UFC submission. She had 10 times my strength. We needed to be 4 to actually pin her down and get her to stop moving until she calms down.

That was extremely scary. She could just pop off anytime and go crazy. Now I didn’t believe in the supernatural, but my grandmother, a rather traditional Moroccan woman, was convinced she was possessed. And… Honestly it really felt like it. For those who don’t know it, Morocco has a pretty big culture about supernatural/sorcery/possessed/exorcism shit. So most of the elders in the family firmly believe in it.

Fast forward a few months later when it was getting way too difficult for us to handle her. My uncle contacted a good friend in Morocco who has an “exorcist” in his family. The exorcist asked us to do one rather twisted thing. He asked my aunt if she could put a drip of her blood in a glass of water, and leave the glass somewhere in the apartment while she’s sleeping (not next to her). We were reluctant but my grandmother forced her to do it. On the morning, the glass was empty. I’m still convinced she probably just woke up at night and drank it, but the exorcist’s version was “she is possessed by a demon (commonly known in the Muslim culture as ‘jnon’ or ‘djinn’), giving him this blood just was a way for you to welcome him and calm him down temporarily, and she needs to see an exorcist asap”.

Now we were getting convinced he was right, seeing her often getting crazier and crazier. In desperate times… Sometimes you just chose to believe to a possible solution. So at this point I decided to believe in what he said and we had to go get a proof that he was right. We live in France, we decided to drive to Morocco (about 1500km driving + a 6-hour boat, + 500km in Morocco again). During the drive I’ve never been as scared as this day. I was sitting down behind, on the right, my father on the left, my aunt between us. She went crazy at some point. We couldn’t really hold her as she was trying to hit my uncle driving. We almost ran into a wall. My father had to – dangerously – choke her until she lost some strength.

Anyway. Here we are in Morocco. Getting to this village named “Sefrou”, known as one of the biggest places in the country were sorcery happens. Rather creepy place. And not in a conventional creepy way. What we know of creepy are just what horror movies picture, the African creepy is on another level. We get to meet this exorcist guy. He asks us to buy a sheep to “sacrifice”, and tells us we should bring him the sheep’s guts back to him for the exorcism to happen. My father and uncle take care of this. Me… I am FUCKING SCARED. As stated earlier I didn’t believe in that shit. I decided to because honestly the situation called it. But at this point, in a freaking spooky village in the middle of Morocco, where we are advised to never eat anything outside or accept anything from strangers who might try to “curse us”, where everything looks twisted af, I was really losing it and couldn’t wait to leave this place for ever.

On the following day we went to the exorcist’s, bringing him these guts. He puts them in a bowl, asks that if we are feeling strong enough we should stay with him as more people would make it easier to “exorcise” my aunt. Well… I really wanted to leave but seeing everybody staying, I stayed as well. My aunt is lying down in front of us, next to the bowl, we are sitting down around her holding hands and the exorcist starts saying stuff I can’t understand (it was traditional Arabic and not a Moroccan dialect). He gets sweaty as he talks faster, I see my aunt twitching in what looked like pain, the light went out (holy shit I think I peed my pants at this moment), the exorcist screams something, my aunt screams as well, then total silence. I think the silence was for about 30 seconds but it felt like HOURS. The exorcist’s assistant then comes in with a lamp and we see that both my aunt and him passed out, the bowl is on the floor and the guts next to it. The guts turned black. I am having goosebumps just writing that and re-picturing that. The assistant urges us not to touch the guts at any cost. Exorcist wakes up, goes put some water on his face, then tells us to follow him. We went to a nearby, empty hill, on top of it, and he asked us to burn the guts right there, as “the demon was now possessing the sheep and we could now get rid of it”. Done.

I have never seen my aunt showing any problem whatsoever since this day. Her crisis periods never happened again, she never went back to this “angry mode” and to this day that honestly still scare the crap out of me. Just seeing her now gives me the chills. And the worst is, her sons love me but I really have trouble staying around her as I am genuinely scared, and they obviously don’t know why.

I’m shaking on my keyboard right now. After this event I grew really interested in the whole Moroccan demon mythology and learned a lot about it. Now, I don’t believe they exist. I know they exist (and they don’t make much difference anyway aside from this kind of event). I actually talked more in detail with this same exorcist guy and holy shit. The world is big and deep and we don’t understand 1/10th of it.

3. The Maori Boy

My family used to own and run a real estate office. My grandfather owned it and was the boss, my mother managed the rent roll and clients and I worked there on weekends as a teenager.

We worked in a multicultural area, which I always loved, and there was a reasonable Maori/Islander community there, a lot of whom were very religious. In one particular property we managed, there was this one family who had two sons. One of them played football with my brother and the other is the subject of this incident.

So this kid was 11, I think, and, according to the family, began acting strangely. He’d have violent outbursts, say terrible things, stuff like that. Apparently he was really seriously out of control. The family called their (Baptist, I think) Minister and asked what they should do, was there even anything they could do? The minister told them that he was free one evening later that week and he’d bring the things needed for a Baptism. He said that he’d perform an exorcism for them and a good spiritual leader, good religious people and a Baptism could oust an evil spirit.

This particular evening arrived and the Minister got all set up. He got this deep tub which they all filled with water for the Baptism, he chose some passages from the Bible that’d help with the exorcism and got the whole family to gather around for support and prayer. Now, Islander families tend to be large; there were aunts and uncles, cousins and grandparents. Everyone was there and willing to help this child. The parents are instructed to bring out the kid so the father goes in to get him.

The kid was a fucking mess. He was described as being like the Tasmanian Devil from the cartoons, just all over the place. His dad put the boy over his shoulder and brought him down to where everyone was standing, the kid fighting it every step, but with his father being an absolutely enormous man, he didn’t stand a chance.

The Minister said for everyone to gather around and put their hands on the child and to pray for him. The father held him in the middle of the family group and everyone reached out their hands to touch the boy who was thrashing around like a wild thing. What I heard was that it seemed like the boy was totally out of control. Time comes for the Minister to say whatever it was he said and then for them to get him into the tub for the Baptism which was supposed to expel the demon they figured was possessing him. The father and an uncle or something were the ones who got him into the tub and the family stood around praying their hearts out, but the boy tried to escape the second his body hit the water. He put up a crazy fight and more family members came to get him into the water. Finally they got him in and they were able to hold him there.

And hold him.
And hold him.
And hold him.

They didn’t mean to do it, but they drowned him. He was an 11 year old boy who was on the cusp of puberty. Of course his behaviour was erratic, of course his attitude was fucking awful, of course he fought being held down by his own family. What did they think was going to happen?

The parents, uncle and Minister were all arrested. The uncle got off on an accessory charge, the parents got ten years but got out sooner and the Minister got 15 and was in just about the whole time because he was the leader. He should have known better. My mum had to go and talk to the police, be a character witness, talk about the family and the property and whatnot.

That certainly wasn’t the only awful thing that happened while I worked there but it was the most traumatic.

4. The Ouija Board Skeptic

When I was 14, me and my best friend at the time got a Ouija table and decided to play with it a bit. We got into a dark room at my place, did light some candles and started the bullshit.

Another friend of ours knocked the door as we tried to ‘contact the spirits’… we let her in and resumed. This third person kept mocking as we tried to get the “supernatural messages”, when, all of a sudden, she passed out.

We thought she was joking; but then she opened her eyes and started to talk with a voice that wasn’t hers.

It was damn scary, but we still thought she could be playing with us. Then she laughed (a horrible laughter) and started to say things that happened to me that I never had said to anyone… and same for my best friend.

Candles started flickering and the flames went a bit too high for my skeptical being not to shiver in spite of myself. My best friend ran out of my place straight to her neighbor, who was a candombl√©’s mother-of-saint.

When the woman came to my place and saw our friend, she gasped and told us to help bringing the girl to her place.

We did so, but not before getting some scratches by not allowing her to get undressed in daylight, calling to some men that were looking at us as we marched towards the holy mother’s place. Once there, she locked herself with the girl in a room and told us to wait outside.

I don’t know what happened, but after a couple hours our friend came out… very tired and didn’t remember anything after we let her in and started to play with the Ouija table.

5. The Girl Who Spoke In Tongues

I have never known what to make of this. The high school I went to was a religious private school. Senior year, it was traditional for the entire senior class to go on a religious retreat up in this remote resort in the mountains with a few teachers. The point of the retreat was to grow closer to each other as a class and also to… find God? Experience spirituality? They took away our phones and forbade us from using any form of the internet or communication with the outside world; then they made us go through a series of soul-baring exercises and speeches and whatnot. Honestly pretty cheesy stuff, not that exciting.

On the third day of the retreat, however, the entire grade is in the main hall doing an “hour of silent prayer” that was pretty much like meditation, but we were supposed to be communicating with God. All of a sudden there’s a huge crash and everyone looks over to see a girl toppled over onto the floor. As everyone stares, she starts writhing around on the ground and screaming, but not screaming in, like, pain… The voice that she was screaming was in a really strange, deep voice and didn’t sound like her at all. Someone yelled, “She’s seizing!” I remember that because there was a girl in our class who was known to have epileptic seizures and would do it in assembly pretty frequently, but it wasn’t the same girl.

Then she stood up and started yelling in “tongues.” Her eyes were rolled up and her head kept twitching back and forth. She started to run all around the room, yelling in an unintelligible gibberish language, and every now and then she would run at the cross in the middle of the room and then run back, screaming and crying.

At first I honestly thought this was a dumb high school prank to freak everyone out, but if that was what it was, she took it way too far. The teachers tried to calm her down but she just kept screaming in this weird language. She started pulling on her hair so one of the teachers called an ambulance but we all knew it would take a while for them to get to this remote retreat. Another teacher tried to take her by the shoulders and she dug her nails into his arm really hard and just kept screaming. It took several more minutes to calm her down (the teachers actually evacuated us from the room) and then she just…went quiet.

They took that girl away that night (though I don’t know how, we were all kept in the cafeteria after that) and she never came back to school after the retreat was over. I wasn’t friends with her friends so I don’t know if they knew what really happened… Probably expelled for her “prank.” But maybe not! It went on way too long and convincingly for me to really tell myself that she’d fuck around in front of all the teachers like that. It was insane. I don’t know. None of the teachers were ever allowed to talk about it when we asked, afterward.

6. Tracking The Curse

So my friend is Mexican, just like me, so our families believe a lot of crazy shit. Well, my friend’s mom believed that someone had put a curse on her, seeing as how so many weird and unfortunate things had been happening to her lately. Also, her rapidly decreasing health. Since back in her village you’d hire a curandero or brujo for this stuff, she searched around and finally found a reputable one. Well he paid her a house visit and turns out that she had been cursed, according to him, a jealous ex-lover of her husband had put a pretty wicked one on her, he even said that she was lucky to still be walking.

Anyway, he said he was going to perform a ritual that night on her in order to disspel the evil, but she had to completely relax and close her eyes, because he was going to summon a great spirit who was not supposed to be seen by humans or something like that. Anyway the brujo goes an does all his business while her daughter (my friend) is there for support. Well the brujo starts chanting and the room she tells, became very heavy and loud, gradually then building up. She couldn’t see anything because her eyes were obviously closed, but she felt a presence in the room. Then she heard growling and howling and all sort of animalistic noises. Anyway, the brujo said he had found a willing wolf spirit to trace and get rid of the curse. My friend told me she pretty much shat herself hoping for it to be over. After a few hours the noises finally stopped and the room felt light again. The man then said that the spirit had done it’s job and that her mom was good to go. Which she did, which blew my mind since the next day she was healthy as an ox. Still gives me chills thinking about it.

7. The Owl

There was a weird episode in my village. Background- I am from a really backward place from India, in a really rural village, in a backward state, Arunachal Pradesh. It is near China and mostly jungle. To give you an idea how backward we are, the village got constant electric supply only 10 years ago.

My uncle (my fathers elder brother) once heard a owl hooting near our house one night (it was around 2 AM) Since we consider owls hooting a bad omen, my uncle took his gun and tried to shoot the bird down. He pointed his flashlight towards the sound and saw the owl but as soon as he pointed his gun at it, it flew away. Now, it so happened that after a week or so, we got the news that someone in village has been possessed. My uncle being one of the elders had to see what was happening and I tagged along with him.

So he went there to check on the person possessed. The person was writhing and twisting when my uncle arrived but as soon as he saw my uncle he jumped up. He started pointing at my uncle and saying that my uncle is not good and stuff. When asked why, he said he tried visiting my uncle as an owl but my uncle tried to shoot him so he flew away. I damn near soiled my pants then and there. The owl hooting was a very minor affair for our family and we didn’t tell anyone about it. No clue what happened. That was the first and last possession incident I went to. Although we have a few cases now and then I never had the nerve to go and watch.

8. The Delivery

My wife delivered a baby in 2004, and I was retold this when she returned home. During this delivery her patient (the mother) was possessed. The husband and doula were both present and a visiting nurse. What occurred during the delivery was the mother started speaking in tongue, and her face started contorting. The husband started getting worried and approached his wife and was thrown across the room, he was dazed but conscious. From what I was told there were many peculiar occurrences during this delivery, but the worst of all was the doula ( I am retelling the story so I was not a witness but three people swear to this) was lifted into the air and not by any physical means. After she came back down the baby was born and nothing strange occurred afterwards. TC mark

It’s Okay To Love Fiercely (And Expect Fierce Love In Return)

Posted: 07 Jan 2016 05:01 PM PST

Twenty20, santiago__cervantes
Twenty20, santiago__cervantes

It's okay to love fiercely and expect that in return.

To love with passion. The kind that pulls back the window blinds and lets in the sun. The radio dial turned to max, hands up, and the windows down.

When you fall, it's okay to fall deeply. To see yourself, your life intertwined in the pages, the roads, the curves of your significant other.

It's okay to believe words. The words that you've heard before, that twisted themselves in your mind, that kept you up at night, spinning, spinning. It's okay to trust those words, again and again.

And it's okay to say those words. And mean them. The 'I love yous' on the tip of your tongue, the lines you've kept hidden. It's okay to say them. To speak them. To shout them. To unravel what's in your head, fearlessly. To let someone in, fully in.

You are not crazy. You are not foolish if you love with abandon. If you throw yourself headfirst into his eyes, run your fingertips across his collarbone before he draws you into a kiss, memorize the freckles on his back.

You are not wrong for the craziness you feel. The excitement at a simple touch, a smile, a small gesture. It's okay to hold onto a hug for just a moment too long, to stay in bed an extra minute, just to feel his touch on your skin.

It's okay to love fiercely. To demand things. To demand communication. To demand that you spend time together. To demand the best for himself, yourself, your relationship.

It's okay to love someone intensely, even too intensely. To look at them and see your world, to see your lives years down the road, to imagine a future, paved and imperfect and beautiful.

Your love is big. It fills the cracks, the faults, the flaws. It seals over the fights, fixes every broken piece. Your love covers the surface then seeps into the pores. You have a love that's embedded in your soul. You love fiercely, with everything you have.

And you expect this in return.

You crave his touch, his voice, his love in all its forms. Your love is too big to settle for anything that is not full love, real love. And so you expect his love to match yours, for your lives to be interconnected, one.

This is okay. It's okay to love fiercely, to expect fierce love. You need this type of love. You are not wrong. You deserve this love, a love that matches yours, that ignites fires, that lights fireworks, that grows and builds and sings like the radio with the dial turned loud.

No, don't apologize. You are not too much. You will never be too much. TC mark

13 Ways To Make Your Partner Feel Important (So Your Relationship Has A Chance)

Posted: 07 Jan 2016 05:00 PM PST

Twenty20 / Leo Hidalgo
Twenty20 / Leo Hidalgo

My husband and I have been together for almost nine years now. That's almost a third of my life! Although we're still madly in love we do have our moments. In particular, when I was in college I was so wrapped up in my own studies, work and our daughter, that my marriage was quickly falling apart and I didn't even notice! My husband, who was also busy with work, did notice and he felt as if I just didn't care about him anymore.

He had valid reason to think so. I spent so much time studying and trying to juggle everything else that I really didn't give him the attention, love and care that he deserved. Eventually, that led to fights and arguments until I understood why he was so mad. I promised myself to make him feel important again, because he is, and we're doing better than ever.

Sometimes when you're married for a long time other things take priority over your husband. With kids, work, friends, household chores and responsibilities, along with your own hobbies and interests, your relationship will occasionally fall to the wayside as you spend time doing other things. It happens and that's okay, but if you're not careful, you and your husband may begin to drift apart.

There will be days, sometimes weeks, where you're too busy to go out or even spend quality time together at home. That's normal, but a prolonged emotional distance and time spent apart can cause some serious relationship damage.

It's crucial to make your loved one feel important on a daily basis if you want your relationship to last. And they should make you feel important, too. Although it can be very easy to make someone feel loved and important, it can also be something that's forgotten if you don't put any effort in at all – a difficult lesson I had to learn.

1. Ask him about his day.

After so many years with someone, asking about their day can seem trivial. I mean, don't we already know what they do for work and yadda-yadda? That might so, but taking the time to ask him about his day shows you care and that you're thinking about him.

My husband and I make it a priority to ask one another about our days. Not only do we ask, we actually listen and show interest, and that is key! You have to actually pay attention! And because it's something you can do every day over dinner it's easy to actually remember to do it.

2. Talk about him.

It's been proven that a person's favorite topic to talk about is themselves, so why not let him? Let him talk about his day, his hobbies, his friends and favorite things. Then ask him questions about those things and keep him talking! He'll love it and think to himself that his wife really cares.

3. Show genuine interest in his passions.

It's great when you and your husband have similar interests; it gives you something to talk about and activities to do together. For example, my husband and I enjoy thrift shopping, going to concerts and browsing art galleries. However, he still has hobbies and interests that I don't share with him and vice versa. He enjoys playing darts, watching documentaries and has a deep love for all things (including the lifestyle) from the mid-century. And I enjoy spending time outdoors, creating art and playing board games.

Although my husband would rather grab a pint at the pub and shoot some pool over hiking, he still joins me now and again for a walk in the woods, and I'll join him for a drink. More importantly, I'll ask him questions about things he enjoys and actually listen. (Remember when I said people like to talk about themselves?)

Even if you don't necessarily care for his passions and hobbies, you should at least show some interest. Nothing makes someone feel more important than when you want to talk about them and the things they enjoy. And who knows? Maybe you'll actually find a new hobby or passion in the process. I know I have.

4. Don't criticize or complain.

No matter who someone is, it's quite possible they will do things we don't like. Little quirks and habits are things that all couples have to deal with over the years, but at some point there will be something that comes up that you just can't stand. No matter what that is, how you handle it is the important part.

The first thing to do is to try and understand him and his point of view. If it's something that you need to talk about it, go ahead and talk about it, but instead of criticizing and complaining make sure to be understanding and forgiving.

5. Let him vent.

Everyone has a bad day now and then, and he will, too. It can frustrating to listen to someone vent their problems but if you want him to feel important you should take the time to listen. Not only that, but try not to invalidate his feelings or even try to solve his problems. Truth is, he just wants someone to listen to him.

6. Show your appreciation.

Did you know people like to feel appreciated? Of course. They like to feel valued, cared about, needed, wanted and loved. One way to show your husband that you feel all of these things is to take note of his good qualities and give him sincere appreciation.

Is he a good cook? Does he always brush the snow off your car in the winter? Or maybe he likes to surprise you with flowers? Don't let the little things go unnoticed!

Showing your appreciation can be done in a number of ways. It can be shown with a hug, in a written note, or a simple kind gesture, but of course, a simple thank you will always do.

7. Show gratitude.

Whenever you find yourself becoming frustrated with your husband try to write out a list of all the things about him that you're grateful for. This list can include whatever you want on it and it will help remind you of all the reasons you love him. Then, from time to time, let him know about the things that you're grateful for.

Does he cook you dinner most nights? Be grateful! Is he a great listener? Be grateful. Does he make you feel special? Be grateful! And don't just write it down, let him know that you are grateful for him. You may think that he already knows, but even still he actually might need to hear the words or be shown, and it will mean the world to him.

8. Be affectionate.

In a newer relationship affection seems to be something that just happens naturally. New couples can't seem to stop touching each other, whether it's holding hands or something more. Unfortunately in most cases as the relationship develops couples often stop being as affectionate as when they first started dating.

In my own experience, one of the quickest ways to kill a relationship is to neglect each other physically. Being affectionate with one another will make both of you feel more comfortable and connected, but without it, you may feel distant and cold and not even know why.

There are a lot of different ways to show affection, and it's not just about sex. It can be as simple as a good morning kiss, holding hands while walking down the street, or even sitting next to one another on the couch. Not to mention, there's also cuddling, spooning in bed, massaging one another, and joking around.

In order to keep your love and passion alive, and make one another feel important, remember to show your affection regularly!

9. Respect each others opinions.

Most of the couples I know share a lot of the same values and opinions. Still, there are things that two people just won't agree on. It might be something as small as agreeing what the best restaurant is, or even something more serious like who to vote for. Chances are though, that it won't be a complete deal breaker.

When you don't agree with something, the best thing to do is agree to disagree. Fighting about it usually won't change the other persons opinion, it will only make the both of you angry. You can, however, discuss it as long as you respect the other persons opinion, keep an open-mind, be honest and in the end, remember that you are both entitled to your own thoughts and opinions. By showing you respect his opinion, you make him feel important.

10. Accept his family.

There are a lot of jokes in TV sit-coms and in life about parent-in-laws, and that's because people can relate! Sometimes your husband's parents might just infuriate you and your parents might just infuriate him. Still, as his wife, you should really do your best to accept his parents and he yours.

It's important that you try your best to get along, accept them and be respectful. I'm not saying that you have to like them, but you do have to tolerate them if you want your husband to feel important. So the next time the in-laws are getting on your nerves, keep your mouth shut.

11. Celebrate his successes.

No matter how big or small that success is, celebrating it with him will make him feel important. Got promoted at work? Celebrate! Passed a test? Celebrate! Won a game? Celebrate!

Nothing says you are important to me like a big ol' cake to celebrate a success. Unless, of course, he prefers beer.

12. Give generously.

How amazing does it feel to receive something, whether it's someone's time or a gift? It makes you feel pretty damn important! If you want to make your husband feel important, try giving generously.

I'm not saying you have to go out and buy him a new sports car for his birthday (which would be awesome) but you should try to do nice things for him on the regular.

13. Open up about yourself.

Finally, open up to your husband; open your heart and your mind, and share yourself with him completely. A marriage is different from other relationships and one thing that makes it different is the openness that is shared between the two of you.

There are a lot of different ways to make that special man in your life feel important, but you have to remember to actually do it. And don't forget, they should make you feel important, too! TC mark

This post originally appeared at Attract The One.

10 Of The Most Horrifying Concert Tragedies In History

Posted: 07 Jan 2016 03:00 PM PST

Paris after the Bataclan Theatre massacre, 11/13/15. (YouTube)
Paris after the Bataclan Theatre massacre, 11/13/15. (YouTube)

1. PARISIAN TERROR MASSACRE

Three rifle-toting jihadists burst into the Bataclan Theatre in Paris last November on Friday the 13th during an Eagles of Death Metal show. After shouting “Allahu Akbar!” they rained hot lead onto the horde of decadent infidels during a twenty-minute rampage. When the smoke had cleared, 89 concertgoers had been massacred. All three gunmen were blown to bits when their suicide vests detonated. It was the deadliest concert shooting in history and part of a wider series of attacks that night in Paris that killed a total of 130 people. (source)

2. THE DEVIL AT ALTAMONT SPEEDWAY

The Rolling Stones perform in front of a wall of stinking hippie flesh. (YouTube)
The Rolling Stones perform in front of a wall of stinking hippie flesh. (YouTube)

Flower Power wilted and died in a single day in December 1969 at the Altamont Speedway Free Festival in Northern California. A sloppily thrown-together mega-concert that was billed as “Woodstock West” took place on a yard-high stage at the bottom of a slope. Three hundred thousand fucked-up and tripped-out hippies pressed downward on the slope toward the tiny stage that was guarded by a handful of Hells Angels who’d been paid in $500 worth of beer to protect the bands from being swarmed. As the day wore on, bad vibes started throbbing loudly. The Angels used pool sticks and chains to beat the crowd back away from the stage. One Angel punched the lead singer of Jefferson Airplane unconscious. The Grateful Dead were scheduled to play right before headliners The Rolling Stones, but they backed out due to the brewing violence. The Stones took the stage around nightfall, and prancing centaur Mick Jagger—at that point the world’s biggest rock star—tried in vain to tame the increasingly unruly crowd. As the band launched into “Under My Thumb,” an eighteen-year-old black man named Meredith Hunter, gakked out of his mind on meth and wearing a lime-green suit, attempted jumping onstage, only to be punched back into the crowd by a Hells Angel. With murder in his eyes, Hunter again lunged toward the stage, this time brandishing a .22 revolver, only to be intercepted by a knife-wielding Angel who stabbed him repeatedly. Hunter fell to the ground and a throng of Angels kicked him into the afterlife. Altamont became an emblem of the death of 1960s utopian dreams and has been called “rock ‘n’ roll’s all-time worst day.” The whole squirmy-wormy bad trip is chronicled in the film Gimme Shelter. (source)

3. SQUASHED TO DEATH IN CINCINNATI STAMPEDE

(YouTube)
(YouTube)

In 1979, a mere year after The Who’s original drummer Keith Moon died, a fatal tragedy struck the band again in Cincinnati. Over 18,000 fans, some of them who’d been there for hours, huddled outside Riverfront Stadium waiting for the doors to open. The concert was mostly general admission, meaning whoever got through the doors first and ran fastest toward the stage got the best view. When The Who did a late sound check, the masses assembled outside mistook it for the start of the concert. When only a couple of the venue’s 134 doors opened, it hastened a stampede that ended with eleven fans being trampled to death.

According to an attendee who got trapped in the giant writhing cube of Ohioans:

A wave swept me to the left and when I regained my stance I felt that I was standing on someone. The helplessness and frustration of this moment sent a wave of panic through me. I screamed with all my strength that I was standing on someone. I couldn't move. I could only scream. Another wave came and pushed me further left towards the door. I felt my leg being pulled to the right. The crowd shifted again and I reached down and grabbed an arm at my leg. I struggled for a while and finally pulled up a young girl who also had a young boy clinging to her limbs. They were barely conscious and their faces were filled with tears.

The concert proceeded without a hitch, and The Who were not informed of the fatalities until after the show. "If it had happened inside, I would never have played again," Who guitarist Pete Townshend later remarked. (source)

4. GUNS N’ RIOTS

(YouTube)
(YouTube)

A disastrous 1992 gig in Montreal featuring two of the era’s biggest douche-rock bands—Guns N’ Roses and Metallica—ended in street riots and police tear gas. Metallica cut their set short after singer James Hetfield suffered severe burns from stage pyrotechnics. An angry and hungry crowd of over 50,000 then waited more than two hours for Gun N’ Roses, who also cut their set short after singer Axl Rose complained of vocal problems. The furious crowd poured out into the streets, smashing and bashing and looting and setting fires until a cadre of club-wielding cops eventually beat them into docility.

5. GANG RAPE, BONFIRES, AND BREAKING STUFF

(YouTube)
(YouTube)

Sometimes the march of time does not always signify progress. The original Woodstock Festival in 1969 featured Janis Joplin and Jimi Hendrix and was billed as “Three Days of Peace & Music.” Its lame retread 30 years later—Woodstock 99—featured Limp Bizkit and the Insane Clown Posse and comprised four days of gang rape, bonfires, and breaking stuff. According to MTV’s Kurt Loder:

It was dangerous to be around. The whole scene was scary. There were just waves of hatred bouncing around the place….It was like a concentration camp. To get in, you get frisked to make sure you’re not bringing in any water or food that would prevent you from buying from their outrageously priced booths. You wallow around in garbage and human waste. There was a palpable mood of anger.

6. GREAT WHITE BALLS OF FIRE

In 2003 at a tiny packed club in the dead of an icy Rhode Island winter, tireless 80s hair-rockers Great White took the stage in front of a totally awesome pyrotechnics show that set the ceiling’s flammable insulation foam ablaze less than a minute after the band kicked into their first song. At first many attendees thought the flames were part of the show until the blaze spread through the entire smoke-filled club. In their frantic rush to exit the club, 100 died from either heat, asphyxiation, or being trampled. A Providence TV station eventually settled with the victims’ families for $30 million because their cameraman blocked the main exit by continuing to film the unfolding calamity.

7. HEAVY METAL ASSASSINATION

Guitarist “Dimebag” Darrell Abbott, formerly of aggro metal band Pantera, was shot dead onstage by a schizophrenic ex-Marine one night in December 2004 while Abbott’s new band Damageplan were performing their first song. The Marine—who allegedly had claimed Pantera had stolen his lyrics—managed to kill five people before being taken out with a single shotgun blast from an Ohio cop. (source)

8. THUNDERSTORM AT THE STATE FAIR

During a thunderstorm at the Indiana State Fair in 2011 as the band Sugarland were waiting to perform, a vicious wind gust collapsed the stage, fatally crushing seven people and injuring 58 more. (source)

9. DOZENS BURN TO DEATH WHILE A BAND CALLED ‘BURN’ PLAYS

On New Year’s Day 2009 at a nightclub in Bangkok, 66 people died as a fire swallowed the club whole. They’d assembled to watch a band called Burn. (source)

10. THE COCOANUT GROVE INFERNO

(Wikimedia Commons)
(Wikimedia Commons)

The deadliest concert fire in world history happened in the bowels of Boston’s Cocoanut Grove nightclub in 1942. As a singer and pianist was performing downstairs, a fire suddenly swept through Cocoanut Grove, killing an astonishing 492 people. Some were crushed to death in their panic to escape. Some were caught completely unawares, and their charred corpses were found sitting at their tables with drinks in their hands, killed so quickly by smoke and fire that they didn’t even have a chance to move. (source) TC mark

I Have A Girly-Girl Side And I’m Not Afraid To Own It

Posted: 07 Jan 2016 02:00 PM PST

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"You're such a girl," my guy friend says to me as I point out a pair of adorable, fluffy deer scampering across the small-town road and call them 'cute.' (They were totally cute, by the way).

This isn't the first time I've heard that phrase. I was 'such a girl' when I spent time in front of the stacks of throw pillows at Target, debating between a chevron print and a tribal pattern. I was 'such a girl' for ordering a Twisted Berry Mojito at Buffalo Wild Wings. I was 'such a girl' for getting my car stuck in a snow bank and needing another pair of hands to push.

This phrase was casual. Maybe an insult, but more likely a tease. A seemingly-harmless line my guy friends threw out there just to poke fun at my 'feminine' traits.

But being 'such a girl' doesn't bother me. I don't take it as an insult. Actually, I love being a girl.

I love putting on makeup. Or not. I love doing my hair. Or throwing it in a messy bun. I love dressing up. Or dressing down.

I love shopping. But I hate it some days. I love talking about life with my girls. But I also like kicking it with the guys and discussing the score of the last Blackhawks game.

I'm 'such a girl.'

Yes, I think furry animals are cute. There's no shame in that. (Because they are). And I'll spend all the time I want in front of the frilly throw pillows and other cutesy items because I want my house to look homey. (Guys act like they don't notice these things…but they totally do. And if they don't, who cares?)

But being 'such a girl' doesn't bother me. I don't take it as an insult. Actually, I love being a girl.

I'll order the fruitiest drink on the menu, but then I'll get just as many wings as the guys. And eat them. And make a mess. And lick my fingers clean. (No shame. Food's good.)

I'll put on a cocktail dress and jewelry. But you better believe I'll rock a good pair of sweats and Nikes, too.

You can find me dancing in my heels, but you'll also find me at the gym.

And by the way, I do throw like a girl. A collegiate softball starting pitcher type of girl.

Yes, I'm 'such a girl.' I might get my car stuck in a snowbank (once in a blue moon) but I'll be right next to the guys pushing it out. I might need help sometimes, but I most definitely have my sh*t together 99% of the time.

I am such a girl. A cute and feminine, but tough and headstrong girl. And no, that's not an insult. TC mark

10 Things You’ll Only Understand If You’re A Girl With A Guy Best Friend

Posted: 07 Jan 2016 01:01 PM PST

Dave Borovsky
Dave Borovsky

Having a guy BFF has its perks and it's downfalls but the one thing that is certain is that in the end they are always there for you. They have your back and while people may 'ship' you together, you know where you stand and you know that 20 years later they will still be there.

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1. They're instantly more forgiving.

When you mess up, which you aren't immune to doing just because you're girl, they don't take long to forgive. A sincere apology and a tub of ice-cream or box of chocolates later you BFF's again. Whereas for a girlfriend fight, it means a whole of tear shedding, gossiping and weeks of barely speaking to each other.

2. They have your back, no matter what.

That girl called you something mean, your guy BFF will have words with her or with her boyfriend. Some guy treated you badly, he will come back to apologize once your BFF has dealt with him. Maybe you're wrong and the opposing party is right but in the heat of the moment they will defend you. In private they will give you their opinion but when you needed him he was there and that's all that matters.

3. They keep your secrets like a chamber.

First off, yes that was a total Harry Potter reference! Second, this is to extent true. As human we can spread secrets and gossip like fire can spread in a forest but this depends on your level of friendship. Having a guy best friend means having him at the highest level, close enough that the minute you say you have something to tell them, they start swearing the oath.

4. They're great listeners.

Maybe they don't understand necessarily why you hate your body or why you spent two hours crying over some boy but they do listen. They spend hours listening to you rant and the fervently agree with you. Sometimes they become protective enough to kill whoever hurt you and then you know that he truly is your best friend.

5. You’re going to get nicknames, no matter what.

You complain and say you hate them with a strong vengeance but on the inside you love them. Only your guy BFF is allowed to call you something utterly ridiculous, like princess waffle marshmallow fluff. Anyone else who tried to pull that would meet terribly painful death.

6. Don’t believe the rumors; there will be drama.

The myth that 'guy BFF's have less drama in a friendship'. That's not true. Guys can get mood swings and jealous and hormonal. They can backbite about with the guys and can ditch you in heartbeat if they wanted too. But the point is, if your friendship is strong enough you'll be able to withstand all the drama.

7. Everyone thinks you're dating or like each other.

Every small action your guy BFF does becomes something glorified and romantic. When nothing about your relationship is romantic. He gives you his jacket to wear when it's cold because he's a gentlemen not because he wants to date you. Above all this, the comments people share, spreading gossip that you two 'are just too shy to confess your feelings' Please people, it's the 21st Century, guys and girls can be just friends.

8. You’ll get jealous easily.

Chances are you're going to pick a best friend who is amazing, funny, sweet and all over a pretty good guy. That just means he'll have ample amount of girls draping across him. You will spend most of your thought space worrying about whether or not he will forget you and move on to another best friend just because he has the ability too. However, remember he picked you to be his best friend over a sea of other girls because you are amazing to him.

9. They don't quite understand everything you go through.

That's not really their fault. They won't understand PMS or why you spend an hour in the bathroom. They won't always get your issues and they won't be able to give you guy advice because they don't understand most of the relationship themselves. They care and they'll try but sometimes you need your girl BFF because your guy one just won't get it, at all.

10. They aren't the most sensitive.

Personally, I don't think guys in general realize what their words mean. It's sad to say that a compliment from a guy means more than a compliment from a girl or a family member. It's even sadder that you need a compliment to feel good nowadays. But it's happening and it's real and guys just don't seem to get it. There backhand comments hurt more than they realize and because you fear being the 'psycho girl BFF' you don't say anything. But it hurts and you stay silent. TC mark

New Year, New Boo: 13 Must-Haves For The Single Person Who Wants A Clean Slate And A New Mate

Posted: 07 Jan 2016 12:10 PM PST

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1. A door mat that lets the world know you're (literally) ready

Doormat

Your door mat decorates the barrier between your inner and outer worlds. It is one of the first things people see when they visit you. This one serves a specific visual purpose: it's something you see every day that will remind you that your job this year is to be open to inviting people in.

2. A way to channel your 'when is he going to text me back' neuroses into something healthy

Coloring Book

One of the most difficult parts of dating is toning down your anxiety when you first meet a promising someone new. It's easy to spend hours obsessing over what each texts means — which can often lead to relationship-sabotaging behavior like texting too much, being clingy, and even lashing out because you're resentful about how crazy they are making you feel. The best solution is to spend time on something that both distracts you and helps you clear your head. Adult coloring books are perfect for this. It's easy to get distracted and the designs bring you to a relaxing, meditative state as you work through them.

3. Affirmation cards that are the key to killer confidence

Cards

Across the board when asked what men and women want from their partner, they'll respond "confidence." Being single is the perfect time to work on self-love. Not only does it attract potential partners, but it helps you have a healthier relationship with them when you do. You can start small by simply pulling one of these affirmation cards out of the deck each morning and reading it to yourself.

Click Here To See The 13 Must-Haves For Those Looking For A Clean Slate And A New Mate.

10 Legitimate Reasons To Say ‘Screw It’ To Dry January

Posted: 07 Jan 2016 12:00 PM PST

Twenty20, adrihamui
Twenty20, adrihamui

1. Getting drunk is awesome and you know it.

Let's face it, some of the best memories are your drunk memories. You and the girls, tipsy off tequila shots at the Justin Beiber concert. Or sharing margs with bae at that Mexican restaurant in the city. You might look like sh*t when you look back at your Snapstory the morning after, but you had fun. Even if you don't remember kissing your guy’s ear instead of his cheek, or eating a loaf of cheesy bread at 3AM.

2. A glass of wine is good for you. Seriously.

A glass of wine each day keeps the doctor away…but really. Red wine has antioxidants, called polyphenols which actually help protect your blood vessels. So naturally, you can't do Dry January and deprive yourself of those health benefits.

3. A drink (or four) will get you out of the post-holiday blues.

It's the ‘New Year, New You’ but everything still feels like the same-old. It's okay, you're just a victim of the post-holiday blues. You open Facebook and you’ll see the three/four birth announcements and at least six new engagements. And the babies having babies. *Gag*. Trust me, you'll need a few stiff drinks to get you through.

4. Booze is the perfect companion for brunch dates. And every other meal.

Bottomless Bloody Mar Bar at brunch? You can't say no. And a glass of wine with dinner? A mimosa with breakfast? Too good to resist.

5. Being the constant DD is boring AF.

Imagine your life for the next month. Thirty-one straight days of carting your booze-hound besties around. You'll be tired, cranky, and you know how you just vacuumed the interior of your car? Yeah, well now there’s puke on the passenger rug and side door. Ew.

6. Without booze, you’ll never have the guts to talk to your crush.

Okay, so you've been pining over this guy for weeks. He's totally cute and he asked you out for dinner. There's no way you're getting dressed without a glass of Moscato. And what if he asks you out for drinks afterwards? Are you really going to say no? (No, you're not).

7. Listening to drunk talk is like getting run over by a train. Repeatedly.

"Ohmigawwwwwwwdddd I don't know where I put my keys. I'm like, so *hiccup* wasted right now."

8. Tolerating your crazy grandma's 87th birthday sober would probably kill you.

If listening you're your drunk friends wasn't bad enough, now imagine sitting through the four-hour family shindig. Completely. Sober. You'll be so desperate, rubbing alcohol will start to sound like a viable option. (PS: Don't try that at home).

9. Plain and simple: you don’t have the discipline to stay abstinent anyways.

There was a tiny flicker in your mind, No alcohol for a month, I can totally do this! And then it faded as you thought about how utterly boring, snowy, and depressingly sad January will be without booze. Nah, maybe you’ll try next year. (But probably not.)

10. And even if you do, you’ll go straight back to the bottle February 1st.

Let's be real. You're going to get wasted the second the dry spell's over. And with this supposed 'built up tolerance' you'll be like a college freshman again. And no one wants to relive those days. TC mark