Thought Catalog


14 Disturbing And Deeply Creepy Wikipedia Articles That Will Scare The Sh*t Out Of You

Posted: 10 Feb 2016 08:00 PM PST

1. The Hinterkaifeck Murders

via Wiki Commons
via Wiki Commons

Taking place in 1922, these murders were committed with a pickaxe at a small and remote Bavarian homestead where six people lived. The murders have never been solved despite the case being reinvestigated with modern techniques as recently as 1986.

Particularly brutal, the murders were also prefaced by several odd occurrences including footsteps in the snow that led to the homestead but didn’t lead back out again, reports of sounds in the attic, and a maid who left the homestead because she believed it to be haunted. The day after a replacement maid arrived she and the entire family were killed.

There’s more to it but I don’t want to ruin the whole thing. It’s deeply creepy.

2. The Silent Twins

The Silent Twins via Whaleoil
The Silent Twins via Whaleoil

Truly a bizarre story the mixes elements of the supernatural with crime, and, ultimately, death. June and Jennifer Gibbons were identical twins born in Wales in 1963. From an early age they refused to speak with anyone else but each other and their younger sister and exhibited near identical patterns of behavior. They also spoke an idioglossia, a language only the two twins could understand. In a bid to bring them out of their shells, the two were separated and sent to different boarding schools. Both became almost immediately catatonic until the were reunited.

The two both exhibited high levels of intelligence but later began committing arson and had to be institutionalized. It was during this time that June and Jennifer decided that one of them must die in order for the other to live a normal life. Reportedly, Jennifer volunteered to make that sacrifice and was later found dead. Her cause of death remains a mystery to this day and the circumstances are such that it’s almost as if she willed herself to die.

3. The White Lady

The White Lady via Wiki Commons
The White Lady via Wiki Commons

No, this isn’t just a reference to a graceful and proper woman of the caucasian persuasion, it’s an entry about the global and common phenomenon of individuals who have spotted spirits who appear as a woman all in white who appears in the countryside.

Legends about the White Lady span the entire world from Britain to the Phillippines and they all have a similar backstory involving the spirit having experienced some great tragedy during her life, often at the hands of a man she loved.

4. The Soviet False Alarm Incident

The Tsar Bomba
The Tsar Bomba

While not creepy in the supernatural sense I can think of nothing more pointless or terrifying than a global nuclear conflagration that arose from the most basic of mistakes. It gives you a sense of just how on the edge we actually were many times during the Cold War and just how close we came to giving the Earth over to the cockroaches.

The gist of this article is just three weeks prior to this false alarm the Soviets had shot down a Korean passenger jet in their airspace and killed a U.S. Congressman aboard. The Soviets hadn’t known who was on board but since it had caused a huge international incident they were expecting an attack. Soon after, their early warning system notified them that American ‘minutemen’ ICBMs had been launched and were on their way to the Soviet Union. At the time, the response to such an early warning was for the Soviets to immediately launch their nuclear missiles.

One man, Lt. Col. Stanislov Petrov was responsible for what would happen next. One man, with the fate of the world in his hands.

5. Tarrare, The Man Who Ate Everything

via Instagram
via Instagram

Tarrare was a French showman living in the late 1700s and early 1800s who was renowned for having an insatiable appetite. Turning this into a show as a way to make money he was seen in full site of audiences consuming vast amounts of food including a meal intended for fifteen people as well as “live cats, snakes, lizards and puppies.” Yes, live puppies and cats.

This apparently wasn’t just an act either but was something else. Later in his life when doctors tried to cure him by placing him on a diet he would be found eating “offal” out of city gutters.

6. This Huge List Of UFO Sightings

via Wiki Commons
via Wiki Commons

Beginning in Classical Antiquity and going all the way to modern day, this is an awesome wiki list for those even remotely interested in UFO phenomenon. Including “ships in the sky” from a Roman citing in 214 BCE and supposed battles in the sky between cylindrical objects as well as contemporary sightings from all over the world this is a fantastic jumping off point to fall down a many hours long wiki hole.

7. Clinton Road In New Jersey

via Wiki Commons
via Wiki Commons

Clinton Road is a ten mile long stretch of road in West Millford, NJ that is the site of numerous claimed bizarre sitings including phantom vehicles, a ghost boy who has been seen at the Clinton Brook bridge, the ghost of a girl who died in a crash on the road has also supposedly been seen at night still driving.

A dead body was also found off the road that exhibited the telltale signs of the mob hitman known as the Iceman, namely the body had been frozen and then dumped so as to confuse an investigators regarding time of death.

8. The Abduction Of Betty And Barney Hill

Barney and Betty Hill via Wiki Commons
Barney and Betty Hill via Wiki Commons

One of the most well documented UFO abduction stories in the history of the phenomenon, Betty and Barney Hill claimed to have been abducted while driving in rural New Hampshire late at night on September 19th, 1961 while driving back from a vacation.

The couple claimed to see a light in the sky that at first they thought was a falling star but, as they continued to observe it, saw that it moved erratically. Pulling over to get a better look with binoculars, the couple stated that what they saw was a craft about 100 feet long with multi-colored lights. The couple continued to observe the craft as it followed them and, as described by the couple, seemed to play cat and mouse with them.

Eventually they say the craft cut them off completely and the two were abducted, experienced a period of lost time, and the next thing they knew they had traveled 35 miles with no memory of the journey.

There’s a lot more to this including hypnosis sessions with both Barney and Betty as well as their experiences trying to report the incident. There’s also stuff regarding an alien star map which is fascinating. Additionally, it’s interesting that Barney never quite full embraced the notion that the couple had been abducted while Betty did. Good stuff.

9. The Vanishing Hitchhiker

'The Hitcher' via YouTube
‘The Hitcher’ via YouTube

A global legend similar in scope to the White Lady, tales of mysterious spirit who stands beside the highway waiting to be picked up and who, once helped by an unwary driver, disappears at some point along the drive. Disappearing hitchhikers have been reported in Germany, Milan, and all over the U.S. in modern times but this phenomenon goes much further back. In 1870s Korea, Russia, and China the story was the same and over the centuries only the mode of transport has changed. Here’s how the wiki article describes a typical Vanishing Hitchhiker experience.

The archetypal modern vanishing hitchhiker is a figure seen in the headlights of a car traveling by night with a single occupant. The figure adopts the stance of a hitchhiker. The motorist stops and offers the figure a lift. The journey proceeds, sometimes in total silence, and at some subsequent point, the passenger appears to vanish while the vehicle is in motion. In many cases, the hitchhiker vanishes when (normally) a vehicle reaches the hitchhiker’s destination.

10. Lisa M. Montgomery

via Wiki Commons
via Wiki Commons

That picture seems to depict a normal, possibly boring woman, right? She was anything but. In 2004, this Kansas woman used the false name “Darlene Fischer” and claims of being pregnant to bond with another woman who actually was pregnant named Bobbie Jo Stinnett. Even stranger this took place in an online chatroom dedicated to discussion of Rat Terriers called “Ratter Chatter”.

The two soon began exchanging emails about being pregnant and Montgomery arranged with Stinnett to come by her house to buy a Rat Terrier. Once there, however, Montgomery strangled Stinnett with a piece of rope, cut her unborn baby from her womb, and ran fled, later passing the baby off as her own.

11. Mass Suicide In Demmin

Red Army soldiers via Wiki Commons
Red Army soldiers via Wiki Commons

In the closing days of World War II, Russia’s Red Army was sweeping west, burning, killing, raping, and pillaging as they went. Tens of thousands of Germans committed suicide during this period out of fear of what the Red Army would do to them. However, no town had more suicides concentrated in one place than the town of Demmin.

In May of 1945, hundreds of Demmin residents put themselves to the sword so as to avoid the nightmare that was the angry and vengeful Red Army. Entire families committed suicide together, daughters cut the wrists of their own parents, and men shot children who were not their own so as to spare them from the coming onslaught.

Horrifically, this appears to have been a reasonable course of action. The Red Army spent three days in the city pillaging and burning it and reportedly raped women and girls of all ages. Many of those who tried to kill themselves were stopped by Red Army soldiers only to find themselves victims of brutal attacks.

12. A List Of Every Death And Incident That’s Ever Occurred At Walt Disney World

via WIki Commons
via WIki Commons

Over the decades, the magic kingdom has taken lives, caused grievous injuries, and been the backdrop for many, many criminal acts. Some are somewhat hilarious while others are terribly tragic. Either way, enjoy your next trip to the land of Mickey.

13. The Pit Of Despair

via Wiki Commons
via Wiki Commons

Harry Harlow, a comparative psychologist at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, studied maternal bonding in rats and monkeys in the 1970s, that is, until his wife died.

Upon her death, his colleagues noted his demeanor changed completely as his depression from his wife’s death grew. He also shifted from studying maternal bonding in rats and monkeys to studying the effects of extreme isolation on rat and monkey babies who had just bonded with their mother, taking them and placing them in total isolation for up to a year.

Harlow himself called these isolation chambers the pit of despair and the effects he observed as a result of his cruel tests will turn your stomach. I’ll just say, the guy also invented a device he called the “rape rack.” The scientific community allowed his tests to go on for decades knowing full well what was going on.

Remember, kids, science is here to help.

14. The “Rat King”

via Wiki Commons
via Wiki Commons

As disgusting as it is odd, this wiki entry refers to the phenomenon of several rats becoming stuck together, their tales intertwined and mixed with “blood, dirt, ice, horse-hair, or feces—or simply knotted.” This apparently happens more often than not when the rats are younger, perhaps because they’ve been born into filthy conditions. The rats then grow while bound together in this way into a disgusting writing mess as seen above.

This horrible sight has given life to dozens of legends and the phenomenon which apparently happens more in Germany than anywhere else in the world was long believed to be an ill omen portending the arrival of the plague which, frankly, is 100% understandable. TC mark

What A Woman Thinks About The Day After She Has Really Good Sex

Posted: 10 Feb 2016 07:15 PM PST

christinastrauss87
christinastrauss87

First of all, I get zero work accomplished whatsoever. I don’t understand how sex is something men get out of their system so that they can focus. It has the opposite affect on me: good sex makes me totally useless at everything else.

When my boyfriend is at work I fantasize about giving him head. I think about how next time I'm not going to make him cum so quickly. I'll make him hold off, make a production out of the whole thing.

I think about the opportunity I missed to kiss his thighs. The strong and milky white ones. And how I’ve never been particularly attracted to someone’s thighs before.

I think, I'm going to lick his shaft, the anterior part where he is least sensitive and watch his face to see if it drives him crazy that I won't just put the damn thing in my mouth. I think about sucking on his balls because his whole body convulses when I do that. I think about how I want it to rest my lips against him and make it feel like an eternity before I open up.

I think about how sexy his body hair is, and how gross that same amount can be on some other guy. Once you really like someone, anything can be sexy.

I suppose I could think about getting fucked or what his hands feel like when they are on me, or the bruise I left on his arm because I was cumming too hard and my brain couldn't connect with my body long enough to say “don’t grip so tight.”

But what I really can't stop thinking about is what your face looks like when I make you cum.

A close second is the way you look when you're about to kiss me. Or when you want me to kiss you.

Or the way your body tenses when I suck on your ears and you don’t like to make any noise but you let out a little “oh”.

I think about the time you came in from the cold and you couldn't stop shaking no matter how much I kissed you. So we stopped pretending we were going to make dinner and got into bed.

When it’s really good all my lists stay in tact. Each item unchecked because my brain is foggy and I am giddy and I know that a lot of bad things happen in life. So all I want to do today is let the giddyness be overwhelming and replay everything over and over.

I’ll make new to-do lists of parts of your body I haven’t kissed enough.

And the things I want to tell you about the way you make my body feel.

I think “what did I used to think about all day long?” And then I get my phone and see when we can do it all again. TC mark

13 Women On The One Thing They Wish All Guys Knew About Oral Sex

Posted: 10 Feb 2016 07:00 PM PST

iStockPhoto.com / Anne Baek
iStockPhoto.com / Anne Baek

1. "If I say ‘don't stop,’ DO. NOT. STOP. Don't change a single thing you're doing, please."

— Mary, 24


2. "All I know is, I get very creative when giving a guy head. Maybe mix up your pacing. Do a little improv dance down there, you know? Just don't give me the same game over. And over. And…over."

— Paulette, 22


3. "My clitoris is a sensitive creature. Please do not tongue-punch her as if you're trying to retrieve a very stubborn sprinkle from a tub of molasses."

— Nicolette, 23


4. "Trim your nails! Trim your goddamn nails."

— Kiara, 27


5. "Watch your teeth, dudes. Just like we have to."

— Ronnie, 19


6. "Just…don't give my clit a raspberry. Nobody likes a raspberry to the clit. Nobody."

— Bea, 20


7. "Don't get me wrong: I enjoy some good butt-play. It is common courtesy, however, to ask before you put a finger in the butt."

— Quentin, 21


8. "Hey, guys, you know how it doesn't feel that great when a girl goes down on you after spending a week in the Sahara without water or, like, a stick of gum? It’s always smart to hydrate beforehand."

— Reese, 19


9. "Whoever told men that they could just nuzzle their faces between a woman's thighs and improvise on the spot should be shot."

— Harley, 26


10. "Keep in mind that tongue-flicking can only go so far."

— Ciara, 22


11. "Every girl's vagina is different, and likes different things. What works on one of them might not work on another so spend some time figuring each one out."

— Ximena, 23


12. "Slow and steady wins the race. Always."

— Luanne, 25


13. "I would just like to tell all the men out there that they should not be offended when a girl tries to help them out with their technique, you know? Vaginas are way more mysterious than their male counterpart so there’s no reason to feel deflated when we give you a few pointers."

— Zoe, 20 TC mark

17 Men Define The Difference Between ‘Caring’ And ‘Clingy’

Posted: 10 Feb 2016 06:16 PM PST

iStockPhoto.com / Franck Reporter
iStockPhoto.com / Franck Reporter

1. “The difference is whether she does something nice because the opportunity arose and she’s a caring person — or whether she’s trying to ingratiate herself to you so she can shove a relationship down your throat. Does it feel natural? Does she show the same kindness to people she isn’t trying to win over? That’s the difference.” — Mark, 33

beetlejuice

2. “It depends on if she has a life or not. If you know she has a lot of free time and is literally waiting to be in a relationship to start having hobbies — that’s clingy. Caring is when someone has something better to do but takes the time to do something nice for you anyway. Thoughtfulness means more when it’s a scarce resource.” — Kevin, 27

beetlejuice

3. “Caring is a girlfriend who is supportive and does little nice things to make you feel loved. Clingy is a girlfriend who doesn’t trust you and does annoying things like making you check in all the time or driving by your house to see if you’re home.” — Andy, 22

beetlejuice

4. “Who is the person benefiting from the action? If you do something to benefit someone else, that’s caring. If you do it to benefit yourself, that’s clingy.” — Jason, 28

beetlejuice

5.
“To me, caring is a gesture someone makes to make me feel loved. Clingy is what someone does when they are insecure and need you to prove you like them enough or something.” — Nate, 25

beetlejuice

6. “I’m going to be straightforward: the main difference will always be how attracted to you I am. I will put up with a lot of crazy when I’m blinded by lust. I always come to my senses after awhile, but I would never describe a girl as “clingy” if I was really into her to begin with.” — Jim, 32

beetlejuice

7. “Bringing me soup when I’m sick is caring, making me give you my iPhone password is clingy.” — Jonathan, 24

beetlejuice

8. “I had an ex who would constantly show up at places she knew I would be because of Facebook events or just because she knew I liked that restaurant. Once she “bumped into me” when I was having lunch with my mom at the coffee shop on block my apartment is on. It didn’t show me she “cared” it showed me she was manipulative and impatient.” — Morgan, 29

beetlejuice

9. “If I’m into it, it’s caring. If it turns me off, it’s clingy.” — Mike, 24

beetlejuice

10. “Offering me coffee after I spend the night is caring, getting my name tattooed on her body after a few months is clingy. True story.” — Bo, 21

beetlejuice

11. “Caring girls are the sweet ones you want to bring home to mom. Clingy ones are the ones you knew you shouldn’t have fucked and now you’re stuck with a phone full of text messages and ducking when you see her at school.” — Peter, 20

beetlejuice

12. “It’s all affection so to some extent it’s flattering. But clingy is unwanted affection, it’s when its too much. Caring is just ‘oh that’s sweet.’ You want to be cared for. You don’t want to be clung to.” — Justin, 25

beetlejuice

13. “Clingy is when someone is afraid they will lose you so they start acting crazy. It’s not a healthy relationship. Caring is a healthy thing, they do something nice for you because they want to.” — Aaron, 29

beetlejuice

14. “Caring is something you want someone to do for you, clingy is what you hope they won’t do. It can totally just depend on how much you like the person but I do think it’s more than that. Only an asshole would call a girl clingy because she did a simple nice thing for him. But if you don’t read social queues and you keep showing up even when they aren’t really responding to you, that’s when your actions can be construed as clingy. Make sure you aren’t the one always initiating everything — if the person cares about you it goes both ways.” — Ben, 27

beetlejuice

15. “A girl will ask you about your day because she CARES. She’ll ask about a girl who liked your Facebook status because she’s CLINGY.” — Mike, 23

beetlejuice

16. “I think it has to do with confidence. Most of the “clingy” things people do they do because they are insecure. If you’re a sweet person, you’re caring — but if you’re a sweet person AND insecure than you do things because you want to illicit a response. You want attention and validation. That’s probably when you start to get clingy.” — Brody, 26

beetlejuice

17. “In my experience caring people do something nice because they just want to be kind. Clingy people do something to get “power” in the relationship.” — Stephen, 29 TC mark

The Power Of Kicking A Guy Out

Posted: 10 Feb 2016 06:15 PM PST

Krista Mangulsone
Krista Mangulsone

I knew this guy. We met, hit it off, and started hanging out. He was intellectually on my level, and that was exciting. Most of the time, we got along as if we had known each other for years. We had a connection.

He, however, had an aggressive and blunt personality. He would casually tell me to “shut the fuck up” in a strong, combative tone, because I asked him why he asked me a question. (He accused me of psychoanalyzing him). When he said things like this, he was supposedly joking. Now, I have a very dominant personality myself, so I’m not completely sure why I didn’t "check" him. I remember thinking I was being overly sensitive, and that I needed to chill.

After a few weeks, it became apparent that he wanted to be more than friends, and I didn’t. He said it wasn’t a big deal, and so we just never discussed it again. Apparently, it was a bigger deal than he let on, because he eventually asked me to go on a date with him. I said yes because honestly, I didn’t want to be rude. But I also thought maybe there was a chance we could make it work.

On the day we were supposed to go on the date, he asked me if he realistically had a chance. I told him, realistically, no. And then I proceeded to lay out my previously compiled reasons. His highly intense demeanor was included in the list I gave him. Inexplicably, I sugarcoated the truth by saying I thought, “our personalities would clash”. Again, I have no idea why I did that. As a feminist, I wonder if these behaviors are symptomatic of society’s never-ending subliminal messages to women to always put others at ease and avoid conflict.

Surprisingly, we went on the date anyway because in his words, "I already planned it out, we might as well." So romantic, this one! The date actually went fine since we do have chemistry; we just didn’t talk about me friendzoning him. Afterwards is when it started to go downhill.

Following the actual date, he had to come back to my dorm room to get his stuff, and then his ride blew him off so he was going to be forced to walk home. The original plan had been to watch a movie anyway, so we thought, "Why not?" We sat in awkward silence as we waited for the movie to buffer. Then he decides to completely obliterate the camaraderie-type vibe we had struck up post-rejection.

He casually made the following comment, “Don’t worry, I definitely don’t want to be here. I’m still trying to find a way to leave.” It was rude, and I was so shocked that I just didn’t acknowledge it. I went to the bathroom and thought, “Why would I just let him say something like that”? So, I walked back in the room, sat down, and casually said, “You can leave if you want to.” I went on, “I have stuff to do, so if you don’t want to be here, I don’t want you here. You can pack your bags and wait out in the lobby. It’s no difference to me.” And then I explained to him why he was rude and why I had to call him out on it. He was clearly taken about and almost, almost apologetic.

The bittersweet thing is how empowering it was. On the one hand, I felt like I was reclaiming some power that I didn’t even realize I had given up. That was really awesome. On the other hand, it’s kind of sad that such a little thing would make me feel so powerful. How did I not realize that I could have done that all along?

It kind of scares me that such an ardent feminist with an assertive personality, such as myself, could so easily let herself slip into the gender roles constructed by our patriarchal society: The man decides how things are; the woman shuts up. Absolutely fucking not! Girls: we have brains and mouths that are just as powerful. Let's never forget that.

What is the moral of the story? Being a boss bitch is always the right choice. TC mark

I Made An Amateur Sex Tape In College And It Went Viral: Here’s What Happened

Posted: 10 Feb 2016 06:00 PM PST

istockphoto.com
istockphoto.com

Think of the scariest thing you've ever experienced. Now worry about it every day, for the rest of your life.

My greatest fear was brought to life four months ago in the university library, when my old roommate's cousin messaged me on Facebook asking if I was the girl in "Amateur College Girls Share Good Dick." He provided the link. When I opened the message, my heart stopped beating and I immediately felt every cell in my body become tense.

One night in college, my roommate, my guy friend and I got high on Xanax and decided to make an account on a site for internet web-camming. It was a stereotypical college story; three drugged out teenagers target their sexual energy towards an awkward pseudo-threesome for the sake of an anonymous, online audience and a couple hundred bucks to split. We were so unaware of how serious our actions were, completely ignoring the warnings of all our middle school assembles and parents' concerns.

A year after recording the sloppy, sexual mess that hardly qualifies as "porn," my roommate and I were dragged back to that night and forced to pick up the pieces.

After seeing that message, I immediately packed up my things from the library and made a beeline back to our house. My mind was swimming. I wondered why anybody would go through the effort of recording and uploading all 45 minutes of the awkward and slobbery behavior exhibited on our broadcast. I was so embarrassed and scared. I wondered who else had seen the video. My classmates? My family? My mind was racing over so many different questions and emotions; mostly pure astonishment at my own stupidity. How could I go through with something so blatantly inappropriate? How could I believe there would be no consequences?

Barreling through the door, I grabbed my roommate and thrust the Facebook message in her face, lost for words. Her face slowly mirrored my own concern, losing color and contorting into a look between disgust and terror. She helped me craft a cryptic response to my acquaintance along the lines of "wow, who knew I had a twin in the porn industry?!" and then clicked the link to see what we were dealing with. We sat at the kitchen table and opened our laptops, spending the following three hours trying to wrap our heads around, and ultimately tackle, this problem we created.

Here's the thing about porn: its vast availability makes it seem harmless, but that ubiquity is what makes it so dangerous. Those 45 minutes we spent streaming our naked bodies to an invisible audience seemed so innocuous at the time, but reached the laptop screens of over 6,500 people. Of those, at least 3 viewers (that we know of) downloaded our content, and uploaded that "original" content to 6 different porn sites. Those 6 uploads were downloaded a minimum of 18 times, and at least 7 new uploads resurfaced. Between all the uploads and downloads, our perceived 6,500 person audience grew exponentially. Our video on porn sites showed up to 50,000 views and hosted a plethora of comments making claims about who we were or what we were like.

Addressing the problem was a whole new kind of impossible task. First of all, we had to watch the video, which may have been the worst part.

Remembering a sloppy sexual experience is bad enough, but watching it a year later on a computer screen is absolutely horrifying.

And though we were all just friends at the time, our male counterpart had evolved from my friend to boyfriend to ex-boyfriend over the course of the past year, and I now had to watch him get a remarkably thorough blowjob from my roommate. After confirming what did (and thankfully didn't) make it onto the uploaded reproduction of our broadcast, we then set out on finding every upload of ours that existed on the internet.

After asking a trusted friend, we were able to use his skills and resources to find the links of the original uploads and contact those websites to have the videos removed. Most porn sites are relatively responsive because copyright violation is criminal, plus they're often worried about publishing child pornography (note: though we are all of legal drinking age, we look like 12-year-olds). The popular websites like PornHub obliged our request to take down the videos well within 24 hours, but other sites weren't so cooperative. The process took over a month to address all the available videos, but that doesn't even include the photos. People everywhere took screen-shots of our video at particularly hot (read: disgusting) moments and posted them to various websites, including Tumblr and personal blogs. A simple search of our broadcast account and pages of images come up; even explicit gifs were published.

They don't lie when they tell you nothing is ever private on the internet.

Copies of our videos and photos still exist and still come up every so often. We do our best to check the basic searches once a month and address any new discoveries, but we'll never be able to make the video disappear.

Every time I get a message on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter from somebody I don't know, my heart drops a little. I am constantly terrified of seeing yet another link and finding yet another connection between that video and my identity. Every time I prepare for an interview, I plan how I'd address the situation if I'm recognized from my brief internet presence. I know its unlikely that anyone I know will see the video, but its completely possible.

I have nightmares about my mom watching me spread my legs on camera, or my dad seeing me give a pathetically, over-sexualized blowjob. I fear meeting my little sister's friends and hearing them say "wait, uh, I think I've seen you before on some porn blogs." I worry about my brother stumbling across the video when he searches for "amateur college girls" to watch when he's horny.

Behind closed doors, what we did was nothing out of the ordinary. A couple college kids messing around is understood, even accepted, until a camera gets involved. This little mistake is going to affect me for the rest of my life, and all that's left to do is run damage control. For now, I wake up every day and focus on the dreams and goals that I've set for myself, none of them including the rogue concern for sex tape infamy that always hovers over the back of my mind. In between the scary scenarios and mental breakdowns, I have a life to lead.TC mark

17 Ideas You’re Keeping About Your Life That Are Only Holding You Back

Posted: 10 Feb 2016 05:00 PM PST

www.istock.com / EYEemCLOSED
www.istock.com / EYEemCLOSED

1. If you work hard enough, success is a guarantee. Most people are rarely "successful" in the way they first set out to be. Rather than work toward an end-goal, work toward liking the process of getting there. Whether success is a product of chance or fate, all you can control is how much work you put in (not exactly what comes out).

2. Wanting something badly enough qualifies you to have it. Nobody ever got anything from just wanting it badly enough. You have to want it badly enough to sacrifice, and to work hard, become qualified, keep your head up through tons of rejection and doubt, and then rinse/repeat for as long as it takes.

3. You’ll be the exception to everything, so you don’t have to wear sunscreen or save money, or worry about your retirement plan or treat people respectfully, because your circumstances are just different than everyone else's.

4. You're a celebrity in your own mind – everyone is watching you, and judging your choices. The "spotlight complex" is undoubtedly linked to social media, but regardless, nobody is thinking about you the way you are thinking about you, nor nearly as much. Nobody cares if you wear an unflattering shirt out to the pharmacy. Nobody really cares what you do with your life, so stop making choices as though they do.

5. If you're doing something right, results will be instantaneous. If you're doing something right, the results will take a very long time to build up and produce an outcome you're happy with.

6. "Busyness" is a good thing. Being busy is what happens when people are ill-equipped to manage their stress. People who actually have a lot to do just focus on getting it done, simply because they don't have another choice.

7. There's a "right time" to create. Or get married, or have a child, or start pursuing the life you feel called to. If you're looking for an excuse as to why it's not the right time, you'll always find one.

8. Adulthood is "hard." There are lots of things that are challenging and heartbreaking and trying in a life, but learning how to perform basic functions is not one of them.

9. Your purpose is something existentially profound. Your purpose is just to be here, and to do whatever job you find yourself doing. You don't have to be consciously changing the world to fulfill it.

10. Everybody can have a job they love if they work hard enough. Everybody can find a way to enjoy their job – regardless of the inevitable challenges that come with any job – but nobody is entitled to do work that happens to fit precisely within their realm of interest and comfort.

11. You're not responsible for that which you do unintentionally. Accidentally hurting someone's feelings doesn't really hurt them; time you don't realize wasting isn't wasted; money spent on "necessities" isn't money spent. Essentially, if you aren't conscious of the repercussions of something, they don't count.

12. Your life partner is responsible for making you feel one very specific way. And you use that singular feeling to determine whether or not your relationship is "good," or worthwhile.

13. To accept something, you must be happy about it, or at least okay with it. You can accept your circumstances (acknowledge they are real) while still disliking them strongly. You don't have to like everything, but if you want to preserve your sanity, you have to accept whatever comes into your life before you can change it.

14. People are ruminating on the embarrassing stuff you did five years ago. They're busy ruminating on their own stuff, the same way you are. (Are you thinking about things other people did over the years to any significant degree? It's unlikely.)

15. You must be "right" to be a valid, intelligent human being. Really the most intelligent people are more open to being wrong than anyone (that's how they learn) but regardless, you do not need to be consistently right or exceedingly smart or stunningly beautiful or anything else to be worthwhile, and lovable.

16. You are your struggles. You say "I am an anxious person," rather than "I sometimes feel anxiety." You identify with your problems, which is likely a huge reason why you can't overcome them.

17. You can only be as happy as your circumstances allow. You will only be as happy as you choose to focus on what's positive, reconcile and problem-solve what's negative, build the relationships that matter, validate yourself, and develop your mindset. You cannot choose a feeling, but you can always choose what you think about. Rejecting the idea that you can do so is to submit and doom yourself to a life in which you are never truly happy at all. TC mark

Why Every Man In A Relationship Needs To Make A Big Deal Out Of Valentine’s Day

Posted: 10 Feb 2016 04:00 PM PST

 Twenty20 marcobertoliphotography
Twenty20 marcobertoliphotography

Close to Valentine's Day, some men will find a reason to break up with their girl. They can't be bothered to buy a gift, they don't like her that much, or they're just not into romantic shit. Now, you really can't help these guys… they're assholes.

There are, however, good guys who are genuinely not keen on Valentine's Day… perhaps they should be reminded of a few things.

As a man, it's easy to ask the obvious, "Why do I need one day out of the year to show that I care about my girlfriend?" I think this is fair question to ask, especially if you're the type of guy who puts a lot of effort into your relationship.

It's also easy for a man to be apathetic about February 14 because some women will downplay their expectations on the day to avoid disappointment. She may say something like "Valentine's Day is not that big of a deal to me"…and this does not help the situation.

In order for you to show that you care on Valentine's Day, you really need to appreciate the significance of the day. You need to realize how important it is to most women, even those who feign nonchalance.

Being in a good relationship is like being a professional tennis player. You have to constantly play in tournaments for a number of reasons…but your focus is on the four major titles…the four Grand Slams. Similarly, when you're in a relationship, you have to constantly take your girl out on dates but your focus should be on the four major date nights…the big four.

1. Birthday
2. Valentine's Day
3. Anniversary
4. New Year's Eve

In essence, Valentine's Day is equivalent to the other three important annual events and should be treated with the same level of enthusiasm. Now, every woman is different, so some may give more weight to the other dates…just as a tennis player may prefer a particular Grand Slam…but the fact remains that V-day is very important.

For a second, recall asking your girl out on a date for the first time. You probably didn't have the balls to call her, so you sent her a text or an email and then anxiously waited for a response. When she replied, your reaction wasn't exactly thug-like. So, perhaps you're not as macho as you think you are. In other words, you definitely have it in you to do something romantic.

We can all agree that men like to be challenged because it's healthy for our egos. Why not adopt that mindset when it comes to Valentine's Day? You should give it your best shot to make it an unforgettable day. This, of course, requires you to be very creative and this, of course, requires sacrifice. But it's definitely worth it when after a day filled with surprises, laughter and nostalgia, you get to draw closer, put your arms around her and kiss her lips.

For all the Ladies reading this article, please note that when I made the tennis analogy, you should know that it applies to Mixed Doubles as well. You have to understand that if you want to make the day a memorable one, you need to make him feel special too. Valentine's Day is hard work, but people don't usually appreciate things that come easy—except a free ticket to a party, maybe. TC mark

Read This If You Think You’ve Outgrown Your Current Life

Posted: 10 Feb 2016 03:00 PM PST

M I S C H E L L E
M I S C H E L L E

It's the same thing every day.

Routine is good, don't get me wrong, but every day you show the same feelings towards your life. You never want to do the everyday things and you surely aren't ever looking forward to your routine, but you wouldn't say you're necessarily unhappy. You've never claimed to be miserable, you might say you hate your life every so often, but you don't mean it. It's just a way for you to vent and express your feelings if you're having a rough day, which seems to be happening more often lately.

Welcome to the feelings of outgrowing your present life.

It feels like everyone around you is negative, but it might be you. Your feelings and attitude have changed immensely without you even realizing it. You start to have feelings of annoyance towards people you once were close friends with. You start spending more time in solitude and enjoying it. You are ready for the next chapter of your life and you might not even have realized it. You've already began slowly separating yourself from the pack and now you have a better understanding of why.

You start to realize that all your friends do is talk negatively about others in your town. It could be something completely irrelevant and not pertain to you in any way, but they still bring it up, just to gossip. It almost seems they wait for a break in the conversation to bring up the next name to babble about. While your mind is not nearly as entertained by this small talk as they are.

Your mind wanders when they talk, you think about the world and how there is so much out there you have yet to experience. You think about the adventures you'd love to take and scroll through Instagram looking through photographer's pages. Rare, natural beauty is what consumes your mind, not names of people you know and if they've gained five pounds.

This leads you to realize you don't enjoy the things you used to, which is perfectly normal. Everyone gets infatuated with certain things for a period of time, whether it be the Wii era or a new app, but interest slowly fades over time.

Just like outgrowing an old love, sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is move on and leave them behind.

You start to think about what's next. You start to picture yourself in different places. You mindlessly start scrolling through job searches in random towns just to see what you can find. You start to realize there is a whole world out there for you to still explore and that there is still time for you to follow your dreams.

I know there is the fear of the unknown. There is the fear of leaving behind the people you do love and whose friendships you still cherish. There are your bosses who are awesome and your co-workers you will have to say goodbye to. But the most important thing to realize about the circle you've been drawing around yourself is you can always leave and you can always come back. You are never to old to leave and experience the life you've began to start picturing.

The great thing about realizing you've outgrown your life is that you can get out. You've realized that you have the power to make the change. Life is meant to be lived happily and you've noticed how uncomfortable your life is enough to change it before you start slipping through the concrete cracks that seem to trap everyone else in.

Do what is best for you to keep moving forward and no longer feel like you've out grown your life; don't wait until changing to be the least comfortable option. TC mark

This Is How It Feels When You Love Someone Who Struggles With Depression

Posted: 10 Feb 2016 02:00 PM PST

istockphoto.com / Vizerskaya
istockphoto.com / Vizerskaya

Like you're standing in the middle of a concert, bodies jumping and screaming all around you, and you're desperately trying to push through to grab your person's hand. But you can't. The concert is wild, and you're getting tossed and pushed around. And no matter how much you squeeze and shimmy and elbow, their fingertips are just out of reach. Every time.

Like you're running in place. A step up, a step down. Unmoving. Stuck.

Like you're underwater, trying to speak, but your words come out mumbled and off-key and you keep opening your mouth and it fills with water so you can't speak. And the person you love is just floating, slowing sinking down, down.

You understand that their pain is something you cannot change, but you try anyways.

When you love someone with depression your heart becomes achy and heavy. You cannot begin to fathom their pain, but you try so very hard. You try to hold them, try to package them into a little box and keep them safe. But you just can't.

You understand that their pain is something you cannot change, but you try anyways. You tell them positive things, you try to lift their burdens, you do your best to keep them distracted and laughing to the point that you're physically exhausted and empty. But you love them, so you keep trying.

When you love someone with depression, you get frustrated and bitter. And then you hate yourself for it. You want to pull that person out of their own head, but it's a decision you can't make for them. So you hang onto their words, hoping, praying that things will turn around. You stand on the sidelines as they get help, as they take little steps forward, then giant leaps back. You want to grab them and carry them across the finish line, the 'happy' line. You want to lift them and travel back in time to where they used to be. But you are powerless. So you wring your hands and cheer from the sidelines and pray.

When you love someone with depression, it's like you're driving an open, empty road with no clear destination. You try to get off the path, to change direction, but you're just not sure where to head, or if the road will be clear once you make that left turn.

You try to be tender, but not baby them. Try to be normal, but not too normal that you forget what they're struggling with. You aren't sure what to feel, or how to talk, or what to do. And sometimes you feel like giving up yourself. Those are the hardest days.

But you don't give up. You continue speak, even if your words fall on closed ears. You continue to comfort, even if your care seems useless. You continue to love, because that's all you can do. Love and pray and be there, physically and mentally and in all other ways. Be there. So even if that person doesn't know happiness, they know they're not alone. TC mark