Thought Catalog


19 Quotes By Brilliant Contemporary Female Poets To Inspire You

Posted: 22 Feb 2016 08:00 PM PST

rupikaur
rupikaur

1.

“The day you left, I began to read space theories. I read about why the earth goes around the sun, about the solar system slowly collapsing into itself, about black holes and supernovas. But the truth is, the more I read about the universe, the more they began to blend together into a pastiche of you, of me, of us. This isn't about spirituality, understand. This isn't about how 'it wasn't in the stars' and 'I wish I had loved you like the earth loves the sun'. I have already written those poems for you and the image of you walking away from a home that was once ours, helped me understand that there is no romance in the way a star collapses. It is ugly to watch a thing of beauty turn on itself.”

Nikita Gill

2.

“It would be a shame
to look back on this
and (out of bitterness)
not call it love.”

Trista Mateer

3.

“is love still love when it sits heavy
on the skin, tacky to the touch,
sun-scorched and peeling
like an old porch rail?

love past the SELL BY date
will make you sweat,
won't sit right in the belly.

it's okay to throw it out,
even if it's half-full.

even if you swear
it's still good.”

Jones Howell

4.

“When you fall for a man who could never love you
don't say I didn't warn you
when you fuck your way to his heart
and find broken chandeliers
from every time he was hung
and cut down while still shining
don't say I didn't warn you
Be foolish
Be foolish
Be foolish
burn down the caution signs
bulldoze the barriers between his past
and your passion
it's the only way you'll learn
you're not his firefighter
it's not your job to save him”

— Aman Batra

5.

“baby,
nostalgia is only good for one thing
and that's telling stories
don't you tuck it into bed with you at night
don't you let it keep you warm”

Fortesa Latifi

amankbatra
amankbatra

6.

"I think in English, but my tongue is dressed in Spanish. I am always missing a word for something in either language."

Yesika Salgado

7.

“It's your flaws
I want to taste.
Your crooked mouth.
The way you smell after
being out all day.
The lump in your throat.
Your shaky hands.
Your morning breath.
Your prickly legs.
Your pimpled politeness.
Your tangled hair.

I don't want to be able to
run my fingers through you
easily. It's no fun writing
about perfections.

I want to talk about you-
flawed,
crooked,
endless
you.”

Lora Mathis

8.

"The kindest words my father said to me
Women like you drown oceans."

Rupi Kaur

9.

"I want to live in an honest house
where the motion detector is so sharp
it knows when my thoughts leave the room.

I want a clap on lamp that works as a polygraph;
when you swear you still love me, the lights flicker."

Megan Falley

10.

“I want the cottage. I want the green grass and the tomato plants. I want the peace in you; the front porch rocking chair lullaby; our cricket legs rubbing together under the covers. We can't have it all. I know that, but humor me. We can't have it all, but we can have most of it.”

Caitlyn Siehl

instagram
instagram

11.

"You want me to be a tragic backdrop so that you can appear to be illuminated, so that people can say 'Wow, isn't he so terribly brave to love a girl who is so obviously sad?' You think I'll be the dark sky so you can be the star? I'll swallow you whole."

Warsan Shire

12.

“under your hands, i bloom into ache–
and heat and want. and heavy breath
and mouth and mouth and mouth.
i melt,
all syrup on your fingers. you could
almost spin me into candy floss, except for
this weight on your hips:
this body
and how it buckles
for your body.”

Ashe Vernon

13.

"I don’t pay attention to the
world Ending.
It has ended for me
many Times
and began again in the morning."

Nayyirah Waheed

14.

"My father told me sexism is dead and told me to carry a pepper spray in the same breath."

Blythe Baird

15.

“The only thing touching me right now
are my black jeans, a blanket, this bra. Even my friends
don't want to go out: J is in bed, phone glowing hot
in his hands; Alisha's in Florida with a sad song
and a linen napkin in her lap. Maybe this cigarette
is my Valentine, all mint-smoke smell in my hair;
or the card my grandmother picked out carefully
three days ago for me. I have to cram myself
into this body every day and it's getting crowded.
I wander lonely through Target, buy small things
like nail polish, a scarf, breath mints. People are always
so surprised that my poems contain so much
sadness, that I can crawl right into the belly of it
and sleep there. I can't talk to you like this. No one
is answering their phones and the woman who tells me
that the person I am trying to reach is not available
is my best friend and I hope she's happy. I hope
someone loves her. I hope she loves herself.”

Kristina Haynes

16.

"His unknowing
is where I want
to crawl
right into
the heart of him
and stay there,
fingers-locked,
mouths breathing
the same
soft air, pink skin
and tired eyes
and beyond love,
above love,
again and again
and again."

Azra Tabassum

17.

“I've hoarded
your name in my mouth for months. My throat
is a beehive pitched in the river. Look!
Look how long this love can hold its breath.”

Sierra DeMulder

18.

“There is no skull and crossbones over your heart. You are a good thing, that somebody be dying to get next to."

Ebony Stewart

19.

“I'm an aim-well,
shoot-sharp,
sharp-tongued,
sharp-thinking,
fast-speaking,
foot-loose,
loose-tongued,
let-loose,
woman-on-the-loose
loose woman.
Beware, honey.”

Sandra Cisneros TC mark

6 Brutal Female Murderers In The US You Never Knew About Until Now

Posted: 22 Feb 2016 07:00 PM PST

The history of mass murderers and serial killers show they are more of a male phenomenon; however, women commit ten to thirteen percent of homicides in the US. A mass murderer is defined as someone who kills four or more people with no "cooling-off period" and is usually performed at a singular location, whereas a serial killer kills three or more people over the course of time. Here are six of the most vicious female murderers that you probably didn't read about in your high school history class.

beetlejuice

1. Jane Toppan

Wikimedia
Wikimedia

Jane Toppan was a nurse in Massachusetts during the late 1800s. Her parents were Irish immigrants and she was exposed to violence and instability at an early age. Her father was an alcoholic and her mother died of tuberculosis. Shortly after her mother's death, her father brought her to a girls orphanage and never saw her again. Jane was soon placed in a wealthy home owned by the Toppans, where she served as their indentured servant.

During her residency at Cambridge Hospital, she experimented poisoning her patients using a combination of morphine and atropine and fabricated their medical charts. She even climbed in bed with them and held her patients as they drifted in and out of consciousness. She later admitted she was sexually aroused by this when she was in police custody.

Jane eventually killed thirty-one people, from her landlords to her private patients and even foster sister. She was found not guilty by reason of insanity and committed to life at Taunton Insane Hospital.

2. Nannie Doss

Murderpedia
Murderpedia

Known as "The Giggling Nanny", Nannie Doss killed four out of five of her husbands. She also killed her mother, grandson, mother-in-law, and sister.

She was born in Oklahoma in 1905 and was one of five children. At age 7, she hit her head on a metal seat on a train ride and suffered from headaches and blackouts for years afterwards. She had a strict father who forbade his daughters from going to school dances or other social activities. She had a lonely childhood and immersed herself in romance novels and magazines, which probably led to her getting married at 16.

Nannie was married to rapists, alcoholics and womanizers. Her preferred weapon of choice was rat poison and arsenic, which she put in her husband's prunes and coffee. After her husbands died, she was questioned but always played dumb. She was quickly released after being questioned for her third husband's death. At the time, authorities started digging into her past.

Her fifth and final husband, Samuel Doss, survived a poison attack and spent a month in a hospital in Tulsa. Ater he was brought home, she put arsenic in his coffee and finished him off for good. Her husband's doctor asked Nannie whether she would allow for an autopsy, and she agreed. He found traces of poison so high he immediately informed the police and was arrested.

When she finally confessed her crimes, she giggled like a schoolgirl during the interrogations and was known as "The Giggling Nanny" ever since. She said her murders were not for money, but for love like in the magazines she read. Although she confessed to murdering her previous husbands, she was only tried for the murder of Doss. She was sentenced to life in prison where she died of leukemia.

3. Marybeth Tinning

NY Daily News
NY Daily News

Marybeth Tinning was born in 1942 in upstate NY and murdered three of her nine children (two of whom were adopted). She was diagnosed with Munchausen by Proxy, a rare disorder where a parent purposely injures a child (sometimes up to the point of death) to gain sympathy from her community, which is the reason she killed her children.

During her childhood, Tinning said her father punished her when she cried by locking her in closets. She had poor self esteem and is considered a narcissist by many psychologists. When she was young, she tried to kill herself on multiple occasions. Eventually she met Joe Tinning on a blind date set up by her friends and married him in 1965.

Her first child, Barbara, was born two years after they got married. She then two more sons, Joseph and Timothy, who died three weeks after his birth. Doctors found nothing wrong with them and said they died of SIDS. Two years later, Marybeth gave birth to Nathan who died at six months. In 1978, the couple decided to adopt a while; during this time, Marybeth was pregnant. She chose to keep the two children and gave birth to her second daughter Mary Frances.

Marybeth said she found Timothy, Nathan, and Mary Frances unconscious and brought each of them to the hospital where they were revived, sent home and then died of SIDS. Marybeth then had Jonathan who followed whose death followed the same pattern as her three previous children. Less than a year later, her adopted child at two and a half years old was also brought to the hospital. Marybeth said she could not wake him and did not know what was wrong. Since he was adopted, doctors ruled out genetic theories for her previous children's deaths.

In 1985, Tinning gave birth to her final child, Tami Lynne. Autopsies confirmed Tami Lynne was smothered, and Tinning confessed to smothering her infant daughter with a pillow along with her other children. She is currently serving 20 years in a Westchester County prison.

4. Delphine LaLaurie

Wikimedia
Wikimedia

A New Orleans socialite in the 1800s, Delphine LaLaurie tortured and murdered many of her household slaves. She was married three times and her first two husbands' deaths were never explained. She and her third husband, Louis Lenard LaLaurie, purchased their famous home in the French Quarters in the early 1830s, a place in which they hosted many extravagant parties. Delphine was known to be a kind and gentle woman, and the town was surprised when they heard she treated slaves poorly, but authorities never investigated her.

Police discovered the slaves in a torture chamber during a house fire in the mid 1800s. They first found a 70 year old black woman chained in the kitchen as LaLaurie was distracted in an attempt to save her furniture, jewelry, and clothes. The woman revealed she started the fire hoping to escape from the LaLaurie household. She brought the police to the attic where they discovered seven slaves tied with spiked iron collars. Police also found slaves trapped in small cages, live bodies with body parts cut out, mouths sewn shut and skin peeled off and bleeding. She starved them and physically tortured them.

LaLaurie and her husband managed to escaped to Paris. She was never charged for her murders.

5. Charlene Gallego

Wikimedia
Wikimedia

Charlene Gallego was born in Sacramento in 1956 and grew up with wealthy parents. By high school, she started drinking heavily and bragged about having a black lover, and her parents grew concerned for her. Eventually she married a rich man with a heroin habit, and begged him to have a threesome with a woman. He denied and they argued over it. Charlene started using large amounts of cocaine, and her first two marriages and parents' constant intervention failed as a result. She then met Gerald Gallego and the two fell in love.

They rented a house together and one day Gerald brought home a sixteen year old. The three had a threesome but he ordered the women not to touch each other. The next day he found the Charlene and the teenager having sex and threw the girl out the window. Charlene pleaded with him and eventually the couple agreed on having sex slaves. They lured lured young teenagers into their vans, promising they could make money delivering flyers. The couple raped a total of 10 victims before killing them and disposing their bodies in abandoned rural areas.

Charlene often watched Gerald rape the victims until he was satisfied; afterwards, he shot them. He also forced Charlene to perform sexual acts with the slaves for his pleasure.

Sandra Colley and Brenda Judd were the couple's youngest slaves, at ages thirteen and fourteen. The teenagers were listed as runaways before Charlene confessed to their murders during Gerald's trial. Their last victim was a couple whose friends wrote down Gerald's license plate number. After they went missing, the police caught them.

Gerald was tried for murder in California and Nevada, and Charlene testified against him. In exchange for her testimony, she was not tried and received a sentence of sixteen years. Gerald was sentenced to death and died of rectal cancer in 2002. Charlene was released from prison in 1997.

6. Georgia Tann

Find A Grave
Find A Grave

Georgia Tann operated the Tennessee Children's Home Society in the 1920s, but kidnapped babies and sold them on the black market from her home. Many children in her care died from abuse, and it is estimated almost fifty children died from starvation alone. Meanwhile, she made millions stealing children and selling them off and bribing law enforcement and judges. When adopted parents confronted Tann on inaccuracies on their child's forms, many of which Tann falsified, TAnn threatened to take their children away from them.

She pretended to be a nurse by paying nurses off, and often took away newborns from unwed mothers, claiming they needed medical care. When the mothers asked what happened to their children, Tann said they were stillborn. Tann also stole children off the street or sold children without conducting proper background checks on homes. Her neglect made children go into the hands of pedophiles or abusive families. Sometimes, they were even sold for labor.

In public, she pretended to be a child advocate and often spoke on child abuse and corruption. Tann died of cancer in 1950. Unfortunately, her illegal business was only found after her death. TC mark

An Open Letter To The Recipients Of My Boyfriend’s Donated Organs

Posted: 22 Feb 2016 06:00 PM PST

To whom it may concern:

As bitter as I would like to be, I know this is what he wanted so: congratulations on your new organ!

You have overcome a great obstacle which I am sure seemed impossible at times. A new organ – whether it's a heart, lungs, a kidney, or a liver — breathes within you, and I want you to know that I recognize the battle you have fought to get here. For facing what you've faced, and overcoming what you've overcome, you deserve to be congratulated. You are alive and I hope you are well. Simply because that fresh, new, functioning organ that has given you the life your body so deeply craved, was once the love of my life.

Taylor Ford
Taylor Ford

I don't know anything about you, and you know equally little about me. What I do know however, is that we have both participated in the cruel torture of the hospital waiting room game. My waiting game consisted of a quick phone call, paramedics, followed by nurses, then a life flight to New Orleans, followed by doctors, six days in a hospital, and ultimately followed by surgeons. My waiting game ended in heartbreak and loss.

Your waiting game was a little bit different I'm sure; although much longer and no less emotionally ravaging. It is an odd comfort to me that yours ended on a better note than mine. Because it was a gift my love gave that allowed for that. Whether you consider this new organ a blessing, a gift, a stroke of luck or purely the end result of a waiting list — I hope you make the most of it. Because before giving you a new life; that fresh and healthy organ gave my boyfriend a life full of joy for 20 years. 20 short years.

I'm so thankful I was able to know him the last several years, and love him for the past four. He took my breath away when I first saw him and he completely stole my heart. He was the most romantic boy I've ever known; he was real and he was flawed. I saw bits of his darkness and loved him all the more. And he loved me all the same. He loved my 2 PM anxiety and my 2 AM depression. He was the kind of guy you meet and from then on you are forever changed.

Taylor Ford
Taylor Ford

Losing him was like hearing every goodbye ever said to me all at once. Every day my lungs refuse to take in air. My muscles refuse to expand and contract to relieve me. There are days where I gasp and ache for air that only comes in short insufficient bursts. Days when breathing is no longer the thoughtless process that it should be. Days where I plead with my head and heart to stop thinking long enough for me to inhale, exhale, and repeat. There are days I feel so numb that I have to check to see if my heart is even beating. I feel as if I'm just watching my world fall apart and all I can do is stare blankly and watch.

As much as I hate this pain; I know that it is such a blessing to know this kind of pain, to have had someone who made saying goodbye so hard.

The reality is that the thought of my sweet boy’s heart continuing to pump and his lungs continuing to breathe is such a beautiful idea. And as much as his organ donation may be a gift to you, truth be told, your acceptance of his organ is a gift to me. Knowing that a piece of him lives on provides me with an odd sense of comfort that goes beyond expression.

Even in death; he gave life.

Sean Frazier will forever be my hero.

Taylor Ford
Taylor Ford

So once again, congratulations. I hope you live your life to the fullest. TC mark

To The Girls He HASN’T Given Herpes To Yet: This Is For You

Posted: 22 Feb 2016 05:00 PM PST

Alex Dram
Alex Dram

Hey Ladies,

I do not know any of you personally, but this is the closest that you will ever get to an apology from him. I am sorry he is too sheepish to tell you that he knew he has genital herpes. I am sorry he is too orgasm-focused to be honest with you. I am sorry he continues to live in denial, stringing you along.

You will never get an apology out of him, and I am sorry for that.

The truth being, you may never contract genital herpes from this fellow, either. Despite this, he chooses to put himself first. He is putting your health and mental well-being at risk by not informing you. He is not giving you a choice in your future.  At this point, I doubt he has even been tested. And even if he gets a standard STD test, I doubt he will ask for Herpes IGG (it’s not included).

I never wish herpes, or any STD, upon anyone, but you should ask to see some record. It has taken me a significant amount of time to be herpetic and confident; I know not everyone is as equipped to handle this combination as I am—which is part of the reason I put myself in the public eye.

There are times that I wish I could contact those women whom he is so obviously fooling, but that is not my place.

So to the woman who thinks she's won him over, the woman who thinks she has him hooked, I hope you think again. I hope you put yourself first in this. I know you're asking questions, I know you're thinking deeper than what you see. I know your friends are, too (They friend-requested me on Facebook, after all). I know how you feel towards me. I know, he likes your pictures–the selfies, the friends, the seemingly innocent moments–but that’s his game. You think to yourself, “This time must be different. It's me." Well my dear, you and every other girl he's focused on for six months or less. I know we only know one another through twenty-something, social media stalking, but I will be there for you if things ever do go awry.

This is not a war between women. This is awareness– this is education.

If you ever do contract herpes from him, I pray you are stronger than me. I pray you can walk away, because he knew this time. He knew what he was doing to you. I don't know if he knew he could infect me, but after what we went through, he's going to do a number on you, and I hope you step back and realize your worth. No one deserves a long distance lover, especially when you're five miles down the road.

And you, you’re miles away

Sincerely,
Your fellow Eskimo Sister with HSV2

*This could be applicable to men or women. This is based solely upon my own experience.

**PS I assure you, he’s convincing you this isn’t him. Talk to me; I won’t bite. TC mark

I Don’t Know Why You Still Run Through My Mind As Much As You Do

Posted: 22 Feb 2016 04:15 PM PST

 Image Pexels
Image Pexels

I don't know why you still run through my mind as much as you do. I would love to tell myself that it only happens in fleeting moments, or in times when my mind is idle, but I was raised on honesty, and that would make me a liar. You run through my mind at 2 in the afternoon just as much as you did at 2am when I was laying in your arms. Just as much as you did on Saturday mornings, when I would climb out of bed and you would pull me back into you, forceful but gentle. I'm convinced that no woman in her right mind would have been able to resist the re-invitation. Just as much as you did when you cuddled me at night, all night, when our naked chests pressed into each other. Just as much as you did the very first morning when I woke up in your bed; unfamiliar yet so familiar at the same time, the kisses down my back felt as light as I did when I first woke up… free, unrestricted.

If I knew that back kisses would turn to a bittersweet ending, I almost think I would have called myself an Uber in the middle of the night and saved myself the heart ache.

Sometimes I think about May. About my first visit home after being in this place for so long. They say a lot can change in a year. I know my mind will instinctively begin to race with thoughts of you even days before we have the meeting that is inevitably going to happen again. I wonder if my heart will drop to my stomach the second I step off the plane, just knowing that thousands of miles no longer separate us. Knowing that I could drive down I-64 East and make my back to your driveway with no GPS. Because in the same way I memorized your body, I memorized every turn on the hour drive that would lead me back to you.

Then I think about the day when I see you again. I wonder when my brown eyes match with yours, if time will suddenly progress in slow-motion.

Then I think about the day when I see you again. I wonder when my brown eyes match with yours, if time will suddenly progress in slow-motion. If, even for a minute, it will just be the two of us capsuled in our own time and space… like it used to be.  I wonder if when I come back to my senses, time will double time, begin to move at an almost uncomfortably fast pace. If I'll yell at you across the room about how we haven't spoken since October 1st and I am still writing about you, if I'll scream out all the ways that you broke my heart even in your absence, if I'll throw the shattered pieces at you with everything in me. I imagine myself mentally struggling with gliding past you, dripping with a new grace and confidence. Or desperately crashing into your arms, hoping to feel what we had again. I wonder if you'll be able to smell it on me, the struggle, the angst. Or see what no one else can see oozing from my pores, the hurt, the confusion.

You always paid very close attention to detail, to me.

Other times, I think about September. I think about the last day that I saw you, held you, and breathed you in. I was cold and you wouldn't let me wear this old, long-sleeved shirt that I pulled out of your drawer, but I like to try and push that detail out of my mind because then I am forced to swallow the fact that you weren't as magical as I made you out to be. That you were a real human being, with real flaws, but I made you out to be so much more. How it all seemed so infinite. And how now I do everything but physically rip my heart out of my chest going over and over and over again wondering how we got here. Wondering how you looked at me on a Tuesday like I was everything, and then disposed me on a Thursday like I was nothing. And then wondering if I was actually everything, or if love and deceit could possibly both exist inside of you.

Wondering how you looked at me on a Tuesday like I was everything, and then disposed me on a Thursday like I was nothing.

I read a book once that said you should make a man wait 90 days before he is allowed to sleep with you. Make him wait 90 days and he will surely prove himself, surely he will commit. And while this rarely happens, sometimes I think about July. When your parents went out of town and you convinced me to stay with you. You showed me your baby pictures, I met your dog. It was raining and then I met you in a different way than I have ever met you before. We became an entanglement of limbs as you thrust inside of me for the very first time that night, forceful but gentle. Seven months after we met. 60 days, 90 days, 212 days, it doesn't matter if they don't want to stay… the author of that book clearly didn't pay attention to detail like you. But sex was never the basis of these butterflies. It wasn't even something that I needed from you and with or without it, I know that my heart would be broken the same way.

And after examining and re-examining and cross examining all the months that have passed and the memories that each of them hold, I am forced to sit down and examine reality.

Honestly I hate looking at this, at you, at us, at me, through logical eyes. I think about all the growth I've experienced in just these three months and how I'm no longer the same woman who loved you in September. How even if I wanted to, I could never force the butterfly I've become back into that same cocoon of 22 year old Micah who loved everything about you. See, I've had a half birthday. I'm 22 ½ now, and I am different. The skin regenerates every 27 days. Scientifically speaking, you've never even touched this body.  I hate thinking about how that truth also applies to you. How much I'm sure you've grown, how you've had new experiences that have shaped you, too. I find myself selfishly wishing that you could stay the same. Wishing that I could come back and find you malnourished. Find you pleading for a taste of my brown sugar laced encouragement to once again help you get through some of the most distasteful days. But the logical part of me knows that man is no more, that loving you again would in many ways be meeting you for the first time.

They say that you have to be careful with matters of the heart – because the depth of your love today is the depth of your wound tomorrow.

You were my second heartbreak, a pain that I would never wish on someone once, much less twice. I know there are people who have lived through much more and I find myself questioning the source of their strength. I have almost been driven to the point of never wanting to love someone more than they love me again. To never settle for convenience and ease again. Even when it feels like the best convenience and ease in the whole entire world. They say that you have to be careful with matters of the heart – because the depth of your love today is the depth of your wound tomorrow. With that in mind, I know that I loved you, because there are days when it feels like I have been cut right down to the bone.

But in the midst of the pain, I also think about December. I think about today. I think about right now. I would love to say that I think about you less, but I don't… I just think about you differently. TC mark

10 Things You Can Love About A Person That Have Absolutely Nothing To Do With Appearance

Posted: 22 Feb 2016 04:00 PM PST

charityvictoria
charityvictoria

1. The way or she speaks. Is it quiet or loud? Do they speak with their hands or with their eyes? When they talk about something they're passionate about, does the pace of their speech quicken? Are the words fast and fluid and running together? Can you hear the happiness on their tongue?

2. His or her laugh. Is it gentle or does it fill the empty spaces in the room? Does it come from their chest or the bottom of their belly? Do they laugh easily, or are they laughing over something deeply rooted in the person they are? What makes them laugh?

3. The way he/she carries himself/herself. Does they stand with authority or humility? Does their presence demand attention or is it halfway-hidden in the afternoon shadows? Do they stand with strength or dignity or both?

4. His or her actions. Are they silly or serious? Do they do things purposefully or are they quick to act on their heart? Do they treat others lovingly? Do their actions represent the beautiful person they are?

5. His or her strength. Can you hear their unwavering voice? Can you understand their difficult past and see how they've pushed through? Can you see the way they stand, the way they trust, the way they move with passion and confidence?

6. His or her attitude. Can you feel the positivity radiating from their being? Do they turn the faucet on happiness? Do they live lives full of emotion and purpose and confidence?

7. The way he or she listens.
Do they look you in the eye? Do they genuinely focus their attention on you, eliminate distractions, and really hear what you have to say?

8. His or her ability to trust. Are they slow to anger and quick to love? Do they let go of painful things and put their faith in others?

9. His or her emotional presence.
Can you feel them there, beyond the physical? Does their presence calm you or make you happy? Do they make you feel connected, filled rather than lonely?

10. The way he or she loves. Do they love fearlessly or tentatively? Do they love fully, with everything they have, or carefully, with one toe in at a time? Do they love with passion or with steadiness? Are they beautiful in the way they love? TC mark

10 Unforgettable Lessons You Learn From Dating The Wrong Guy

Posted: 22 Feb 2016 03:00 PM PST

Twenty20 kristenvdaly
Twenty20 kristenvdaly

Don't you wish there was a fast track to Mr. Right? It would save us from a lot of heartbreak and drama. However, Mr. Wrong can also save us from further heartbreak and drama- if we choose to take the lessons he taught us. Here are 10 crucial lessons you learn from dating the wrong guy:

1. Value your time.

When you waste a lot of time with the wrong guy, you learn to value your time in the future and only give it to those who deserve it. Time you could’ve spent building a strong relationship and getting to know one another. It's easier when you are young to waste more time exploring with someone you don't see a future with but as you get older, your time becomes more important and wrong guys will not value the importance of your time.

2. Trust your gut.

More often than not, your intuition tells you if this guy is going to be serious about you or not, and sometimes you just choose to neglect it waiting for a surprise or a change of heart. You can always tell if a guy is being truthful to you and if he has the right intentions. The wrong guy teaches you how to listen to your gut.

3. No one is busy all the time.

Even though people can be very busy and probably are; they still have time to do things for the people they care about, and if they don't, they let them know that and then reschedule. When a guy keeps telling you he is busy-he is lying. Even the busiest of guys will make time for a woman they are really into.

4. Know your boundaries.

The wrong guy teaches you what you can and cannot tolerate. What is acceptable to you and what isn't. It's normal to subconsciously compromise our standards when we really like someone but sometimes it breaks the relationship rather than mend it. The wrong guy helps you tap into your subconscious and identify how far you are willing to go and if you are being taken for granted.

5. The difference between circumstances and excuses.

The wrong guy helps you distinguish between someone who can't do something because they absolutely can't or someone who can't do something because they don't want to. The wrong guy comes up with excuses for all the things he could've easily done but chose not to. He is the perfect archetype for someone who simply doesn't want to make an effort.

6. Words are beautiful but they are not enough.

The wrong guy can say all the right things and do all the wrong things, and sometimes you will believe everything he says and wait for it to come to life; only to realize that it just won't happen. The wrong guy will buy himself time by saying things he doesn't mean, which will teach you to just wait for actions instead of being hung up on lies or words blurted out on the spur of the moment.

7. What you are truly looking for.

Sometimes you think you want a certain type of guy only to realize that this type is actually not compatible with you and will not be able to give you the connection you desire. Dating the wrong guys teaches you exactly what you are looking for. You no longer date someone because they "look good on paper," you date them because you think you two can connect on a deeper level and they respect who you really are.

8. The kind of guys you need to steer clear of.

The wrong guy teaches you exactly the type of guys you should beware of and how to avoid them. You have a better idea of where these guys hang out and how they act and you will be able to spot them before you get emotionally attached. A guy usually shows his true colors early on, you just need to know what to look for.

9. A relationship should make you happy.

Even though happiness is a broad and vague term, a relationship should bring you joy and comfort more than anything else. It definitely shouldn't leave you sad and angry most of the time. The wrong guy teaches you that if all you do is argue and fight or if  the good moments are sporadic, then it is time to walk away. This is not how a healthy relationship operates.

10. What you deserve.

The most important lesson you learn is what you deserve and how you should be treated, when to walk away from someone who is not right for you and when to let go of someone who does not meet your standards. You know your worth and you know that you want a relationship that makes you grow and a relationship that is worth your time, effort and heart. TC mark

The 13 Best Jokes Ever About CAPITAL LETTERS

Posted: 22 Feb 2016 02:00 PM PST

JOKE #1

photo-1430825803925-53e62bb14db1Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.

JOKE #2

ktuxt-1
The Simpsons

JOKE #4

tumblr_nx19t6zlxk1tpn3vso1_1280-1

JOKE #5

grammar_jokes_2da5e1_4980756

Bonus joke:

Do Russians only write in lower case letters?

I mean, they hate Capitalism.

JOKE #6

I just got a job helping a one arm typist do capital letters.

It's shift work.

JOKE #7

This guy calls in to complain that he gets an “Access Denied” message every time he logs in. It turned out he was typing his user name and password in capital letters.

Tech Support: “OK, let’s try once more, but use lower case letters.”

Customer: “Uh, I only have capital letters on my keyboard.”

JOKE #8

slack-imgs.com

if you don't get it, he can't tell the difference on a seeing eye chart.

JOKE #9

I had a detention for only using uppercase letters today

Stupid capital punishment

JOKE #10

A guy goes into a bakery and asks for a cake in the shape of a letter B. He comes back to pick it up the next day, and says, "Oh, I'm sorry, I totally forgot to tell you I wanted it to be a lower case B. I'll pay for this one, but could you redo it as a lower-case?" The baker says, "Hey, that's okay, no problem, I'll redo it, and I won't charge you." So the guy comes back the next day to pick up the cake, and says, "Oh, I can't believe I forgot to tell you this, but I wanted it to be a cursive lower-case B." "The baker says, "Well, this time I'm going to have to charge you for this one, but come back tomorrow and we'll have a cursive lower-case B for you." So the guy comes back the next day, inspects the cake, and pronounces it perfect. The baker says, "Would you like me to wrap that up for you?" and the guy answers, "No, that's okay, I'll just eat it here."

....
if you don't get this joke... he's just being annoying...

JOKE #11

why did the capital letters have to stay away from the lowercase letter?

they couldn’t see I to i

JOKE #12

My teacher gave me an “f.” She said I didn’t deserve a capital letter.

JOKE #13

capital-letters_1024

40 Classic Carrie Bradshaw One-Liners That Every 20-Something Woman Will Appreciate

Posted: 22 Feb 2016 01:15 PM PST

Sex And The City
Sex And The City

1.

"Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed."


2.

"I’ve spent $40,000 on shoes and I have no place to live? I will literally be the old woman who lived in her shoes!"


3.

"There is a good way to break up with someone, and it doesn't… involve… a post-it!"


4.

"When it comes to finance and dating, why do we keep investing?"


5.

"I like my money where I can see it — hanging in my closet."


6.

"I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it."


7.

"I couldn’t understand a word she was saying, but I felt I had in my possession all the Italian I’d ever need to know: Dolce, Dolce, Dolce."


8.

"Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you, now it means you're pretty sexy and you're taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with."


9.

"If he never calls me again, I’ll always think of him fondly, as an asshole."


10.

"Why are there so many great American women and no great American men?"


11.

"Beauty is fleeting, but a rent-controlled apartment overlooking the park is forever."


12.

"I used to think those people who sat alone at Starbucks writing on their laptops were pretentious posers, now I know: they are people who have recently moved in with someone."


13.

"Are there women in New York who are just there to make us feel bad about ourselves?"


14.

"They say nothing lasts forever; dreams change, trends come and go, but friendships never go out of style."


15.

"If we know the house always wins, why gamble?"


16.

"Oh my God, he's online! Can he see me?"


17.

"Maybe pessimism is something we have to apply daily, like moisturizer."


18.

"I'd like a cheeseburger, large fries, and a cosmopolitan."


19.

"I have a style, and jewelled panties aren’t it."


20.

"Soulmates: reality or torture device?"


21.

"I revealed too much too soon — I was emotionally slutty."


22.

"Cosmopolitans plus scotch equals friendship with an ex."


23.

"Men who are too good looking are never good in bed because they never had to be."


24.

"Twenty-something girls: friends, or foe?"


25.

"And we were dressed from head to toe in love… the only label that never goes out of style."


26.

"The fact is, sometimes it’s really hard to walk in a single woman’s shoes — that’s why we need really special ones now and then to make the walk a little more fun."


27.

"Can you get to a future if your past is present?"


28.

"Some labels are best left in the closet."


29.

“You knew I was more Coco Chanel than Coq au Vin.”


30.

"Somewhere out there is another little freak who will love us and understand us and kiss our three heads and make it all better."


31.

"When it comes to relationships, maybe we're all in glass houses, and shouldn't throw stones."


32.

"Life gives you lots of chances to screw up which means you have just as many chances to get it right."


33.

"He was like the flesh and blood equivalent of a DKNY dress…. you know it’s not your style, but it’s right there, so you try it on anyway."


34.

After all, seasons change, so do cities; people come into your life and people go."


35.

"The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself."


36.

"Meanwhile, all I wanted to do was run away."


37.

"Manolo Blahnik Mary Janes! I thought these were an urban shoe myth!"


38.

"New York Magazine says Brooklyn is the new Manhattan."


39.

"Why is it that putting a tie around a man’s neck is sometimes even sexier than taking it off?"


40.

"Don't forget to fall in love with yourself first."

Read This If You Worry A Lot (And You’d Like To Stop)

Posted: 22 Feb 2016 01:00 PM PST

Business man overwhelmed with work
Business man overwhelmed with work

The day that I decided to quit my last job and the day that I handed in my notice were almost 90 days apart. In those three months, I worried — a lot. I decided to pursue my desire to become a full-time writer. But shit was getting scary.

Things like "what if I can't pay my bills?" and "what if I fail?" went through my head. I freaked out, but as it turned out, the solution to my excessive worries was easier than I expected.

Many of us worry about all kinds of things: Work, relationships, money, health. Some concerns are real, but many are unnecessary.
No matter what kind of worry you have, the response in your body is always the same: It increases your cortisol levels.

And an increased cortisol level is something you definitely do not want. Cortisol compromises your immune system. As a result, you will become more susceptible to disease.

Researchers have also found a relationship between cortisol and diabetes, osteoporosis, and heart disease. Also, stress and fear can cause depression, bipolar disorder, panic disorder, and burn-out.

Let's face it: If you don't stop worrying, you will die. That's not me talking. That's your body talking.

In the past year and a half, I've studied worry, stress, fear and anxiety almost every day. I even wrote a book about how you can live a stress-free life. My findings? Don't try to relieve stress and worry, but eradicate it. Address it — head on.

"Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world." — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Relief Doesn't Work

This is what most people do when they experience stress and worry:

  • Take it out on your partner of family
  • Drink alcohol, take drugs, or both
  • Binge-watch Netflix
  • Play video games
  • Go on a holiday
  • Party all night
  • Have sex

Be honest, how long do these things make you forget about your worries? 10 minutes, half hour, a day? It doesn't last. As soon as you get back to the reality of your life — worry and stress smack you in the face.

Distracting yourself from your life doesn't work — and yet, many of us keep doing it. I've read many books and scientific papers on this behavior. Some say it's because we have too much free time, some say it's because of culture, some say it's because how we are wired.

To be frank, it's not important to understand the why. We just have to look at the facts: People worry too much, and that can destroy your life. It's more important to focus your attention on addressing worry.

"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." ― Marcus Aurelius

Turn Worrying Into A Constructive Process

Worry is often about the future. It goes something like this: What if…

"She doesn't like me anymore?"

"I lose my job?"

"I can't pay my bills?"

"I fail this exam?"

"I don't get this promotion?"

"My business doesn't take off."

And then we make up consequences. It goes something like this: I have to…

"Be single."

"Find a new job."

"Borrow money from my parents."

"Quit school because I failed."

"Stay at this job another year."

"Be ashamed because everyone thinks I'm a failure."

Then we think: "I can't handle that." And finally, we think: "The world is going to end."

If your thought process is the way described above, worry controls you.

The good news is there is a simple solution: Self-monitoring, which turns worry into a constructive process. In a 2002 study, done by Szabo & Lovibond, students were asked to record their worries.

The results of that study demonstrated that you can turn worrying into a constructive process by focusing on finding a solution to your concerns.

"You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else." — Albert Einstein

How I Use Self-monitoring To Address Worry

I'm a pragmatic person. I do think that things like meditation and mindfulness help with worry — but not for me. It's too intangible. Instead, I prefer to take a practical approach like self-monitoring. Here's how I do it.

1. Use a note-taking app and create a new note.
I call my note "Things that I worry about."

2. List everything you worry about — and keep adding things to the list.
Everything that you worry about goes on this list, no matter how small.

3. Think of a solution for all your perceived problems.
For example, if your financial situation makes you anxious, you need to create a plan to earn more or spend less.

4. Then, start executing.
Do one thing every day that brings you closer to solving your perceived problem.

5. Finally, don't worry about things you have zero control over — those things you have to accept.
If you know more about how you can do this; read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.

This process focuses on action. It forces you to learn the skills you need to overcome your perceived problems. It might not work for you, but it also might. One thing is sure: Problems don't disappear out of themselves.

Nowadays, I don't worry anymore because I trust my ability to handle everything that life throws at me.

Because knowledge, skills and character are the only things that no one can take from you—every minute you spend on learning something is well spent.

No matter what happens, trust in your ability to address it. So start now. TC mark