Thought Catalog

Love A Soft Person

Posted: 26 Feb 2016 08:00 PM PST

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Jeff Issy 

Love a soft person. The kind whose heart breaks over puppies and injured children. Someone who cries over sad endings to movies and feels deep joy over happy ones. Someone who kisses your soul instead of your heart because they know that your soul is where you keep your universe and your heart is just one star. The sort of person who is told they are over sensitive because they have a more fragile, easily wounded heart. (Yet soft people will always find a reason to smile, no matter how unhappy things are.)

Love a soft person. A human being who always has a kind smile for everyone, even when they do not get a smile back in return. Someone whose heart breaks over the condition of this world. Someone who always has a gentle word for those who have received the worst news they could in that moment. A man or a woman who cannot look at someone suffering and do nothing to help out. (You see, soft people will never stand for injustice in front of them and let it go when someone is hurting or injured.)

Love a soft person. The ones who are positive, even in the worst of circumstances. Someone whose strength is not in bravado, but in their quiet. Someone who is strong for others because that is what is needed in that moment. Someone who is the moon that soothes instead of the sun that burns. Someone who sees the very best in people even when you think they aren't worth it. The kind of person who always wants to do the best for those they love. (Because soft people cannot stand the idea of hurting someone that has bestowed upon them their trust.)

Love a soft person. The kind who looks at someone who is struggling, whether it is to open a door, or have lost their keys and will do everything they can to help out. Someone who would rather suffer themselves than let anyone else down. Someone who tries, not because it is what they have to do, but because they want to do the best by you. A human being that is always willing to communicate and talk things through. (The softest people will always ask twice if you are okay, when you say you are, because they can read moods and understand when you need someone who just listens to you.)

Protect a soft person. These kind of people are becoming endangered with words like 'toughen up' and 'you're so naïve' and 'they're going to take advantage of you'. Someone who you can see is trying despite being broken themselves. Someone who is an easy target for ridicule because their heart is softer than most others around. Someone who is quick to apologise and fix things regardless of blame or fault. (Soft people need protection not because they are weak but because they have been broken brutally by those they have trusted with their hearts.)

Be a soft person. Be a cushion in a world full of rocks and hard places. Be a gentle soul where everyone else is jaded. Be that person. Because people like that are rarer and more precious than the rarest of jewels in this world. TC mark

16 Signs You’re What’s Known As A ‘Binge Thinker’

Posted: 26 Feb 2016 06:00 PM PST

1. When something irritates or fascinates you, you cannot stop thinking about it. It's not even that there's anything that you need to mentally dissect – it's just a compulsion to keep thinking about things ad nauseam.

2. You want to understand the deeper meaning of things, which usually leads to an interest in philosophy, psychology, engineering, or anything that explains how things work or at least theorizes why they are the way they are.

3. You create problems in your life and think your way out of them.
If you're completely honest with yourself, you get a weird high from focusing on issues you semi-construct in your mind, and then "overcoming them." You're always looking for the next thing to fix.

4. You subconsciously feel overthinking serves you and protects you. In other words, you think that worrying about things going wrong is the way to make them go right, or that if you are aware of every possible outcome of a situation, nothing can surprise you and nothing can hurt you.

5. Sometimes, you think about your life more than you live it. You wonder what an interaction means more than you enjoy connecting with someone; you fear for the future more than you prepare for it in the present, and so on.

6. You ascribe meaning to everything. Sometimes, this works in your favor (you're able to be aware of small transgressions before they lead to larger ones). Other times, it works against you very much: you're left believing every little slip up is a major issue.

7. You agonize over decisions. Sure, indecision is the product of not trusting yourself, but it's also the product of being too smart for your own good, and being able to see the positive side to any situation.

8. You extrapolate. You spiral when you have a bad day or a negative experience, and start thinking up all the ways it "means" something about who you are or how good your life can be.

9. You can sometimes focus on what things say about you more than how they feel. If you're honest with yourself, you can see how you may have made choices in the past because they were what appeased your mind, but maybe not your heart.

10. You Google weird stuff. Like, really weird stuff that if your search history was somehow ever hacked and released you'd be forced to live as a hermit for the next 30 years.

11. You have a fascination with creepy, dark or bizarre things. Anything that's a shadow side of something that exists in real life is something to be mentally explored. Why? Because so few people talk about it (or worse, they reject/avoid it) leaving an endless bank of knowledge to be uncovered.

12. You get really super emotionally involved with TV shows and books and whatever you're really into at the moment. You can't just watch a show and then turn off your computer and go to bed. No, you're left thinking about all the possible scenarios that could emerge from that one incident you saw in the pilot…

13. You want to know what's "meant to be." People find this fascinating because there is actually no literal way to ever know that (other than observe what is). Because it's such an illusive unknown, it's something you can think through a thousand times over (and never get tired of thinking about).

14. You have to find ways to "drain your brain."
When you need to relax, you basically need to find a way to completely distract yourself or consume yourself with a different task. Just sitting around and reading a book doesn't do it for you.

15. Even though you claim to overthink, what you really do is over-feel. Emotions are almost always the stimulus of overthinking. Surprise!

16. You're interested in people and their stories. You like "seeing in the windows" at night. It's fascinating to you that there's a whole planet of people living around you that you're completely unconscious of. The things you don't know you don't know are perhaps the most fascinating things of all. TC mark

10 Reasons Everyone Needs A Pisces Man In Their Life

Posted: 26 Feb 2016 05:00 PM PST


1. They really listen. Pisces men are the best listeners. Whether a SO, friend, or family member, this guy is the one who will sit down and have a deep conversation with you. He won't be zoning out, checking his phone, or wandering elsewhere. When you're with him, you have his full, undivided attention.

2. They are the type of guys that are guided a little more by their heart rather than…well, you know. These type of guys are sensitive, which means they're more in tune with their emotions and what they want. AKA they use their heart a little more than their dicks. (Kidding, guys!) But seriously, these men are led by what they feel, which means they understand emotions side and can connect with you on a deeper level.

3. They feel. Pisces men feel. And they feel deeply. That means they will understand the range of emotions you may face—from pain and heartbreak to euphoria—and they will experience them right alongside you.

4. They are generous givers. The Pisces is the most giving of the signs. They are givers of gifts, of attention, of thoughts, and of love. If you are in any type of relationship with a Pisces male, be prepared to be showered with love and kindness.

5. They are independent. Every relationship needs for both parties to have time by themselves; a Pisces male not only understands this, but is driven by it. They are solo creatures by nature, enjoying their own spaces and quiet time. This ensures a relationship with two independent, self-sufficient parties, which is very important.

6. Though they can be temperamental at times, but their emotional sides allow for a deeper connection. Pisces men can be quick to react to situations or quick to retreat to their own world when upset because of their emotional sides. But it is because of they are emotional that allows for deeper, more intimate conversations, which ultimately leads to an unbreakable bond once you pull them out of their shells.

7. They are very protective. What a Pisces man loves and values, he will claim as his own. That means he will fiercly care for and protect anyone he is in a relationship with—romantic or platonic.

8. They are extremely creative. The Pisces man has an imaginative side which can be wonderful for your relationship. Planning dates, coming up with ideas, connecting through the arts, etc. The only downside is that he may fade into a dream-world at times, but he can be easily pulled back to reality. Or joined.

9. They aren't afraid to fall in love. By now you get it—Pisces men feel and are guided by these feelings—so it's no surprise that these guys are ready and willing to fall in love. They aren't afraid of telling you how they feel, and they aren't afraid of commitment (which is huge). So safe to say they're a good type of guy to fall for.

10. They are compassionate and devoted.
If you are suffering, the Pisces male in your life will be right alongside you, feeling your pain and comforting you. Through the good and the bad, this guy will support you and be loyal to you. When he loves, he loves hard. AKA when the going gets tough, he's here to stay. TC mark

When I Grow Up, I Wanna Be A Cool Dad

Posted: 26 Feb 2016 04:00 PM PST

I don't think there is a whole lot of empowering women left to do. I think we just tell people to do what they feel like doing and then get out of the way. Like what Roseanne Barr said, "The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it. " Especially as a middle class white woman, there's just not really any barrier to having the kind of life you want. If someone gives you a shitty attitude because they think women are sluts or emotional or shouldn't be doing whatever thing you're currently doing, it's as simple as choosing not to associate with that person in the future.

But we do have the difficult job of having to be ruthless editors of our lives. We have to do things we weren't taught how to do like using “no” as a complete sentence, assuming that money should be a heavily weighted factor in which jobs we go after, and giving ourselves a healthy dose of the bro magic of considering ourselves qualified and invited by default.

The biggest thing to avoid, to be sure, is getting entrapped in a traditional marriage or coparenting situation. As it stands, women do (much) more housework than men, (much) more parenting work than men, are judged far more harshly for their parenting skills, and general give up a shit ton more than men have to in order to be happily married or parent a child.

Add to that the time and labor intensive demands of American parenting: helicoptering, coddling, competing with other moms, and being involved in very boring, unnecessary minute detail work. It’s no wonder women feel “20 to 22 percent more stressed out with a new kid, compared to fathers, who said they were 5 to 8 percent more stressed.”

This is like, such an insane low-ball offer of what life can be like.

No thanks! What’s the point of being empowered if you are going to throw it away on stress and servitude? When I grow up, I’m going not going to be the woman or the mom or the wife. I’m going to be a cool dad.

I aspire to wear a baby sling around a music festival and get praise heaped on me for how progressive I am. I wanna take paternity leave but still sleep through the night while my spouse gets up with the newborn and then go back to work and joke about how “women are so amazing I could never do that” with my cool job work buddies. I want to take my kids out for ice cream on a Saturday night to “give mom a break” and have the waitress think I’m dad of the year.

I want to have the confidence to be a completely inept parent who is totally okay LOL-ing publicly about it. I want to assume all the boring details of my daily life are handled by my partner, who also brings income into the household budget (because, yay, money). I’ll let him do most of the parenting work because he’s probably better at it and I’ll just mess it up if I try.

I’m all about low key treating my partner like an indentured servant. But in a chill way that’s approved of by my peers.

Like, look at these chic ass cool dad aesthetics:

This Is 40
This Is 40

Every woman wonders if she can ‘have it all’, but cool dads have already proved that you can — as long as you’re okay with being aggressively mediocre at most of it. They have the career, the marriage and the adoring family, but without all the pesky upkeep. Cool dads are the American dream and I want in. TC mark

Today Is The 4th Anniversary of Trayvon Martin’s Death. How Has America Changed?

Posted: 26 Feb 2016 03:15 PM PST


Four years ago to the date, Trayvon Martin was fatally shot by George Zimmerman. For some in the nation, Zimmerman was an innocent man who found himself in an unfortunate situation that required his self-defense. For others in the nation, Zimmerman is a complex representation of anti-blackness, a vigilante, and a guilty man walking.

Martin’s case caught the attention of the nation in a way that many other cases of brutality towards black bodies did not, at least not at the time. The country seemed to take sides between those who believed Zimmerman feared for his life and had to “stand his ground,” as Florida law permitted, and those who saw the death of the 17-year-old boy as a reminder that America fears black bodies, especially black boys. A fear, that coupled with racist institutions and systems and people, can and has resulted in death.

In 2013, Zimmerman was found “not guilty,” by a jury that many believe did not do their duty in obtaining justice. Although Zimmerman would technically be a free man, one wonders how much freedom in body and mind and spirit he had then, and how much he has now. Does he not look over his shoulder and wonder what lurks in the shadows? Does his mind not replay the events of February 26, 2012 daily? Free, according to the law, one wonders if he is not in an intangible prison anyway.

Martin however, to those who saw his death as an injustice and a familiar one at that, would become a martyr for the cause of justice for black Americans. His death would be the catalyst to the cry that has become one of the most important movements of our time and a new civil rights cause: Black Lives Matter.

Black Lives Matter has changed the American conscience. Not only because of Martin’s death, and later Mike Brown’s, and Eric Garner’s, and Sandra Bland’s, and Walter Scott’s, and all the names of those who we have come to know because of the injustice surrounding their death. Black Lives Matter has shown the country a mirror of what it sometimes means to be black in America, and the reflection has been unsightly. Some of the country has gone to work, and some of the country has continued to deny what others see so vividly. And yet still, much of the country continues, their lives uninterrupted.

But for those of us whose lives were interrupted, Martin’s death changed the way we saw ourselves. Me, especially.

A black, African girl in the United States who had spent almost five years living here, it was an awakening of sorts. While I thought I was at the very least aware of all of America’s faces – good and bad – this one especially gave me a pause like none had before. I studied it, literally. It consumed me, figuratively. And most importantly, altogether, a realization dawned on me: That to be black in America – it doesn’t matter what kind of black one is, in all the ways one can indeed be black – your reality is that you can find yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time, and your skin color could at the very worst, result in a premature death.

To those who do not understand, who cannot understand, these ideas are dramatic; theatrical. But to those who cannot help but understand, this notion is quite real.

America has changed since Martin’s death in ways that it otherwise might not have. The invigoration of a black consciousness in a new era, and one that is tied to the digital age we enjoy. A renewed fear among some in the country who believe that Black Lives Matter threatens white people, rather than threatens whiteness and its supremacy. The emergence of new activists in communities of color that seek change, and the emergence of new racialized political rhetoric that is based on ignorance, fairy tales, and fear.

Yes, things have changed. America has changed. But perhaps not fast enough, and in many ways, many things have also stayed the same.

When I think of four years ago and all that has subsequently occurred, I cannot help but wonder, perhaps even wish, that none of these events should have come to pass at all. Not because I do not enjoy the consciousness or the knowledge or the vocations I have found in these societal matters – I hope I would have found them anyway. But because I would rather Martin be alive, than be a martyr. TC mark

6 Things To Know Before You Fall In Love With A Woman Who Has A Dirty Sense Of Humor

Posted: 26 Feb 2016 03:00 PM PST

Marija Mandić
Marija Mandić

My mom has a problem with my sense of humor. Since I’m 32 and I don’t live at home (thank you, sweet sexy apple cobbler), this isn’t a conflict that comes up that often. That said, whenever I’m at home visiting I inevitably make an inappropriate remark about Sting (read:”He can walk through my fields of gold any day!”).

I’m on the receiving end of a lecture about my gross sense of humor. To which I say,”TWADDLE!” It’s good that I’m gross. Being gross and being a woman is important. I’ve written down six important truths you need to know about women with a dirty sense of humor. Join me, won’t you?

1. We love the sounds our bodies make.

As a crass woman I’m perpetually delighted in each and every fart, gasp, sigh, rumble, queef, or slap my body produces. Because these auditory treasures fill me with such gladness, I tend to talk about them. Verily, never shall I be the one who denied it, and thus supplied it.

2. We’re completely shameless.

Being shameless doesn’t come naturally to me. True story, I recently saw a woman trip on the street and yelled “Sorry!” like I was in anyway responsible for her untied laces. I worked hard to be all IDGAF about my tragicomic pit stains. If I’ve got vanilla ice cream on my face, I’ll wipe it off, but not before I make a joke that will most likely involve semen.

3. We’re feminists.

Any vulgar woman worth her salt is proud of being a woman who exists on planet earth. We might joke about walking a little funny from a night of rough plowing, but that’s our joke to make. If you slut-shame us, if you’re grossed out by us, if you body-shame us, that’s your prerogative, sure, but we’re here to tell you ain’t OK … and we probably will.

4. We love bad jokes.

Q: What’s the difference between jam and jelly?

A: I can’t jelly my dick up your ass.

5. We bring people together with laughter.

If I make a fart joke around my dad, he frequently expresses his disgust about low-brow humor. But here’s the thing: since the dawn of man it’s those basic (in the literal sense) things like sh*tting and pissing and eating and sex-having that united us all as human beings! Not being able to laugh at a hearty belch is akin to denying your humanity.

6. We use a multitude of humor types.

I can think boner gags are funny and still be a person capable of seriousness and gravitas. All of us can; we’re human beings and as such there isn’t much we can’t do, and that includes getting snot stuck on our face AND discussing Hegel.

Being a dirty-joking woman means being strong and wry, and funny and human, and capable of admitting you aren’t perfect, and that you shouldn’t have to be. TC mark

This post originally appeared at YourTango.

YourTango HeartShoosh

A Poem For Hypersensitive People Who Lost Their Soulmates

Posted: 26 Feb 2016 02:00 PM PST

 Liat Aharoni |
Liat Aharoni

You are a miracle.
You are a miracle
that happened to someone else.

You are a story in a book
I'll never be able to read.

You are the idea of a vacation
in another solar system.
Gorgeous, adventurous
erotically enigmatic
and infinitely impossible.

You are a wavelength
I'll never be able to decipher,
a sound frequency
I'm unequipped to hear.

You are the anticipation of
a Christmas that will never come;
an Easter that is only a dream.

You are the ninth circle.
You are Lazarus, a light
towards which flowers blossom
even in winter.

You are intricate,
outside of language, and beautiful.
The space outside of space.

You are a miraculous implosion of pearls,
a millon glints of heaven raining down upon the Earth;
this Caribbean isle on the peak of Everest.
A paradise — I’ll never enter.

You are a miracle.
You are a miracle
that happened to someone else.
A shooting star that went by
on a night that by fate
or by chance; I missed. TC mark

Read This If You’re 23-Years-Old And Have No Idea What You’re Doing

Posted: 26 Feb 2016 12:00 PM PST

Mark Buchanan
Mark Buchanan

When I was young, I figured by the age of 23, I would have everything figured out. Maybe I would have my own place or already have the job I always wanted. And maybe I would be in a stable relationship and have it grow into a beautiful companionship. But alas, childhood fantasies don’t normally turn into one’s reality. After graduating from college in May, time has continued to surprise me by flying by at a rapid rate. I realize my childhood self is probably looking up at me in dismay, but truth be told, I’m 23-years-old and I don’t know what the heck I’m doing.

After four years of learning how to live by myself and being independent from my parents, I have moved back home. And while I do love my parents and their undying love, I yearn to live by myself without having to panic about rent. After four years of making new friends and learning more about myself in this process, I have gone back to the town where my high school acquaintances lurk in the shadows. I feel like I am 18 all over again, aching to do something different in my life. Aching to meet new people and experience new things.

Except I don’t have the luxury of being 18 anymore. And the earth keeps spinning. Time keeps on moving no matter how you are feeling or doing and it's going to feel like people are surpassing you. Life isn’t going to give you anything for free anymore. Life isn’t going to hold your hand either. People are going to achieve what you thought you would’ve achieved by now. And some people are going to seem like they have it all when you feel like you haven’t even begun anything. And it's going to feel scary and you're anxiety will probably hit a peak, but it's all going to be okay.

What my childhood self didn’t realize is that everyone is on their own path and sometimes, your path might take longer than others. Looking at another person's success isn’t going to make your life any easier, so you might as well stop looking because no matter what other people may have in their life, that doesn’t make you any less of an important and amazing person. So what if you still live with your parents? So what if you don’t have the job of your dreams yet? The path you create for yourself isn’t a race to beat anyone in. It’s a journey you have to go only for your own self.

No one can prepare us for what obstacles we will go through, what heartbreak we will experience and what hard days we will have to endure. We can’t study it in a book or learn about it from a teacher. But, what we can do is have patience and faith in ourselves that we will get to where we want to be eventually. We will all do great things with our lives no matter how small or large it might seem to others. Life should never be about the size of your paycheck, the car you drive and the home you live in. It’s about creating your own path and future, taking pride in yourself and never letting the people next to you make you feel like you’re not good enough.

I may be 23-years-old and have no idea what I'm doing, but at least I'm still trying, waking up every day and realizing that life won't be like this forever. So, keep on trying new things even if you're scared, keep on applying for jobs you aren't qualified for and keep on believing that there is always a better tomorrow. TC mark

25 Ways You Get To Stop Turning Up For Your Boyfriend When You’ve Been Dating For Long Enough

Posted: 26 Feb 2016 11:00 AM PST

Tatiana Pérez
Tatiana Pérez

1. Retire your "chill girl" act. When he's acting like a dumbass, let his dumb ass know.

2. Stop pretending that giving head is like, your FAVORITE thing to do in the whole wide world!

3. Quit fronting like you have a perfect, drama-free life. At this point, he knows your shit/your family's shit/your friends' shit hits the fan occasionally. And it's still all good.

4. For the love of god, STOP frantically putting on makeup
whenever he's coming over.

5. In fact, just stop putting in any real effort to look cute when the two of you are casually hanging. *Cue greeting him at the door with a face mask on and hair rollers in.*

6. Be a bitch when you feel like being a bitch. Bitchiness gives a woman substance.

7. Bring out them granny panties, baby! Some days are simply baggy, full-butt undies days.

8. Stop obsessively covering up your blemishes. He knows what your period pimples look like. And he still wants the booty.

9. Be vocal about your tummy issues. "Babe, I'm gassy. Babe, please move before I fart in ur face. BABE!"

10. I mean… FART. Christ, farting freely is nice.

11. Stop pretending that you like all his friends. Because honestly, you don't really like any straight guys. Besides him. Sometimes.

12. And DEFINITELY stop acting like you have any interest in watching *the game* with him and his fuckboys.

13. Stop pretending that you love all his music. You don't only listen "cool” shit, babe. In fact, you listen to A LOT of uncool shit.

14. And DEF stop pretending that you're always down for a burger. Dat ass doesn't come courtesy of a cheesy fries diet. You like to eat salads, because you like to keep it tight. Secret's out.

15. Accept that, sometimes, you have stinky breath. And feet. And vag, tbh. If he's in it for the long haul, he's gonna find out that girls can smell rank AF, too.

16. Stop acting like your body hair just… falls out by the grace of god.

17. In fact, go out of your way to let him know when you're getting a bikini wax. Spare no delicious detail.

18. And if tickles your fancy, go days weeks months without shaving. It's cold out there, babe! Just one winter coat simply won't do. ;)

19. Don't be shy when you need a favor. When you were first getting to know each other, asking for a ride to the airport would've been hella awkward. But now, ur man is simply expected to do all that shit with a smile.

20. Sometimes, you just gotta wear a beige flannel pajama set from 5 p.m. on. Your fashion's not always on fleek. It beez like that.

21. CALL HIM OUT ON HIS SHIT. You're too damn old to let any of his assholery fly.

22. Tell him when he's looking off-point. Or has something in his teeth. Or smells funky. Without reservation, and without feeling awkward about it. You're doing both of you a favor.

23. Pick your wedgies aggressively and in plain sight.

24. Stop playing coy about what you want for your birthday. He just wants to make you happy, so shake those qualms about offering strong gift "suggestions."

25. Become your truest "popcorn hoe" self. (According to Urban Dictionary, a "popcorn hoe" is a "female who usually appears average in her daily life then suddenly transforms [similar to popcorn popping or transforming] dressing to impress typically on a Friday or Saturday night getting turnt up.") POP, boo. POP! TC mark

10 Mixed Signals Guys Send And What They Really Mean

Posted: 26 Feb 2016 10:00 AM PST

Twenty20 lloydtheabstrac
Twenty20 lloydtheabstrac

Trying to decipher a man’s mixed signals has become a part of every woman’s dating life. I am not a big fan of mixed signals but my friends and I had our share of trying to figure out what they really mean. Most of the time, mixed signals are really simple to understand if we just take off our blinders. Here are ten mixed signals most guys send and what they really mean.

1. When he randomly texts you out of nowhere after disappearing to say something meaningless.

What he means: He wants attention. Some men thrive on attention from women and the best way to do that is to send something that is not too deep but still elicits a response.

2. When you respond to his text but he doesn't reply even though he initiated the conversation.

What he means: He just wants to know if you still care, he is not interested in starting things up again, he wants to know that he still has you as an option.

3. When he texts you all the time but never plans to meet up.

What he means: He likes you just enough but he sees no chemistry between you two. He doesn't see a future with you but he likes your conversations and maybe enjoys flirting with you, but that's all it’s going to be.

4. When he goes cold after a few good dates.

What he means: You are not the only one he is seeing, or you could be the one he dated while he was on a break with his girlfriend. If you didn't do anything crazy and the guy started pulling away, ignoring you and acting ‘busy’ all the time, then it's clear that there is someone else in the picture.

5. When he starts texting you more often after seeing you with another guy.

What he means: He likes the thrill of the chase more than the satisfaction of the catch. He just wants what he can’t have, and give himself a pat on the back that he can still get any woman he wants.

6. When he says he just wants to be friends but still flirts with you.

What he means: He still wants to keep you around but now that he made it clear that he is not interested in dating you seriously, he feels that he can get away with flirting with you more openly without any strings attached because he was honest about his intentions.

7. When he only calls you late at night or wants to hang out at your place.

What he means: He is only physically attracted to you and he sees no point in spending quality time with you or getting to know you on a deeper level. You are his refined version of a booty call.

8. When he texts you and hangs out with you but disappears on special occasions (birthdays, Valentine's day…etc)

What he means: He is not ready to be exclusive with you yet, so he is buying himself some time but he also won't show up to your special occasions so he doesn't have to put a label on it or pave the way for you to have the ‘relationship talk’ with him.

9. When he only wants to go clubbing with you or only sends you funny and silly things.

What he means: He only wants to have fun. He likes your company and enjoys the fun side of it but he doesn't want a meaningful relationship with you that includes dinners, deep conversations and chill Sundays. He just wants to party and have fun with you.

10. When he says he is not ready for a relationship but who knows what might happen in the future.

What he means: He is either really not ready or he doesn't think you are the one, when he says "who knows what might happen in the future,' this is his way of trying not to completely break your heart so he gives you any sort of false hope. Either way don't wait for him to be ready and just find a man who doesn't send you any of those mixed signals.

Usually men who are really into a woman will either not send mixed signals at all or send them in the beginning to test the waters and then be honest and clear about what they want. Communication is the key to a great relationship and if you can't communicate openly and honestly with your partner, you're going to end up in a whole world of pain.TC mark