Thought Catalog


The 11 Sluttiest Lines From The Incredible Donald Trump Erotic Fiction Book

Posted: 03 Feb 2016 08:00 PM PST

Amazon.com
Amazon.com
Trump Temptation: The Billionaire & The Bellboy is a book that has been making smutty waves in literature as a piece of erotic fiction staring none other than billionaire (and maybe future president??) Donald Trump. The short novel follows our hero, an everyday hotel bellboy, in his lust-filled mission to get some of the Donald’s Donald.

solidLine

1. When our slutty bellboy first lays eyes on “The Donald:”

My loins trembled as the scent of toupee adhesive and spray tan swept through my nasal cavity. I wanted nothing more than to turn around and see the golden god behind these scents, but I couldn't move. I was frozen. There was a tap on my shoulder, "young man" the voice said. I thought to myself "oh my god, could this be him?"

2. When Trump notices the bellboy’s interest

As he got further and further, my eyes continued to be glued to his rear end. His gorgeous ass flapped behind him like a mouthwatering stack of pancakes in his pants. My hunger for pancakes had never been stronger. And that's when it happened. He looked back. He caught me staring at his donk.

3. When the “package” gets delivered to Trump’s door

It felt like an eternity. I wiped the sweat from my forehead and put my hand up to his door to knock. He answered the door wearing only a robe. The robe open just enough for me to see his beautiful saggy chest. A chest that would give Betty White a run for her money.

"Finally, I've been waiting" Trump complained and he took his bags and slammed the door. My heart sank. I guess he just wanted his bags? As soon as I began to pick up the pieces of my shattered heart, the door whipper open again. "I almost forgot" he said as he handed me a wad of money as a tip.

4. But should he give Trump the D???

Should I go back to meet him at 8pm? No. I can't do that. What am I thinking? I'm thinking about him. I couldn't fight it anymore. I had to admit it, I wanted his geriatric 2006 Perez Hilton jello body, and I wanted it bad. Before long we had a new problem, my lustful thoughts had awoken the purple-headed yogurt slinger in my wants. This walk was getting real…hard, real fast.

5. Then the bellboy tries to describe Trump to his roommate

"What's up, you fat bitch" she asked.

"Not a whole lot," I lied. I had to. I couldn't tell her.

"Why are you acting so fucking weird?" she asked.

"I'm not, I said. "I met a boy."

"Is he cute?" she asked as she made a sandwich.

"Gorgeous. His face is wrinkled like a beautiful overflowing flesh toilet," I said, daydreaming.

6. En route to the sordid encounter, the anticipation builds…

The walk there was short, but felt like an eternity. I was so nervous for our second meeting. Never in my wildest dreams could I imagine this happening. I reached the building and made my way up the elevator, my heart and meat monster both throbbing more and more with each floor we passed.

7. Then sexy times begin

I knocked gently on the penthouse door. The door creacked open and there he was, handsome as ever, like a giant melting fat carrot with fake fake hair. He was wearing a gorgeous suit.

"You look good" he said, as I entered the room. He locked the door behind me and asked if I wanted to take a seat.

"Why did you ask me here?" I said as I sat down.

"You know why I asked you here."

8. And the temperature goes up!

He brushed his hand against my cheek, leaving a stream of self tanner dripping down me.

9. Sexual tension building like hell now.

He sat beside me and put his hand on my thigh, caressing me up and down. The only thing I knew was that I wanted to ride the elevator to the top of his Trump Tower.

10. Will love prevail?

He moved closer, putting his cold, dead lips on my neck. I shivered with excitement. His hands felt like an old dried out gingerbread house. I was in love.

11. Or just sex?

I was reluctant, but obedient. I unzipped his pants and touched his cold scaly thighs. I opened my eyes as I grabbed his thick, long …

There is an UNBELIEVABLE twist at the end, but if you want to know what it is, you’ll have to buy the book. TC mark

5 Things I’ve Learned From Being Monogamous For 5 Straight Years

Posted: 03 Feb 2016 07:00 PM PST

Shirtless Guy Staring
Drew Wilson

1. It's not actually that hard, if

…you're attracted to your partner and you have great sex. Sexual chemistry is absolutely critical to relationship longevity for couples that plan to be exclusive. At first, physical attraction might not seem all that important. You might think you can look past your inability to imagine yourself boning your significant other because they're so damn hilarious, witty, or, let's face it, rich. A few months down the line, however, when shit gets real, you can't rely on humor, intellect, wealth, or kindness to lure you into someone’s pants. We're sexual beings by nature, and mutual attraction is crucial to establishing—and especially maintaining—romantic love. If you want to be monogamous, do yourself a favor and pair up with someone you desperately want to bang.

2. There will be hiccups along the way.

No matter how madly in love you are, it's unreasonable to expect that things will always go smoothly in the bedroom. There will be times when your schedules and sex drives are totally misaligned. One person might be immersed in work for several weeks in a row and too damn tired or stressed out to think about doing it regularly while the other's in professional La-La Land, always at the ready for a little heavy petting. In addition to logistical obstacles, you’re bound to face problems related to mismatched levels of desire. One person might be horny AF for a stretch while the other only feels marginally inspired by the idea of naked play. The important thing to remember is that this isn't an indication of trouble, necessarily. It’s okay to fall out of sync once in a while as long as you’re both committed to realigning eventually. In the meantime, don't be afraid to have sex when you're not absolutely dying to. If we all sat around waiting to be aroused at the exact same time as our partners, no one would be having very much sex.

3. It's your job as a couple to keep it fresh.

Unless you've established otherwise, sex is part of the relationship equation. Yes, it's your job to make sure that your partner is sexually satisfied. Just as it's their job to ensure your sensual fulfillment. Maintaining a healthy sex life is contingent upon two people’s willingness to take ownership of their responsibility to each other in the sack. This is where straightforward, brutally honest communication comes in. When your needs aren't being met, pipe up. There’s no downside to voicing your wants and concerns (unless of course you’re dating a raging asshole, in which case you’re probably better off breaking up). Additionally, you need to be proactive about finding new ways to keep things interesting. The passion shouldn't wane completely before you're exploring different methods of spicing things up. The more you experiment, the closer you'll become. Even when things don't exactly go as planned.

4. You will both face temptations.

It's entirely normal to be attracted to other people, even when you identify as one half of a happy, healthy, thriving couple. Your sexuality is part of who you are as a human being, after all, and you can't just turn that part of yourself off as you go about your day. So don’t expect your partner not to flirt with members of the opposite sex. They will probably even toe the line of appropriateness once in a while. Remember, you're not dating a robot. You're dating a person. On the flip side, don't be too hard on yourself for batting your eyes coquettishly at a hot stranger on the subway, or bantering suggestively with an attractive colleague. Sexual energy is powerful, and you can channel it into creativity and productivity. As long as you set boundaries and avoid situations in which things are bound to go too far, there's no harm in a little innocent play. Know yourself, and your limitations.

5. You have to trust each other, or you might as well split.

Sometimes, you’ll feel compelled to interrogate your partner. You’ll want to know exactly what went down at the strip club that night, or why they came home so wasted after that catch-up dinner with "an old friend." You might even get the itch to cybersnoop, thirsting for evidence to corroborate some inkling or gut feeling you can’t quite shake. Even the strongest couples are susceptible to relationship doubts and questioning. When suspicion takes root, understand that it's perfectly normal to entertain insecurities now and again, especially when it comes to fidelity. Fact is, we’re territorial creatures, and a little jealousy is natural. But you don't have to let those pesky uncertainties win. If you want to maintain a loving relationship, you'll have to choose to trust your partner over and over again, just as they'll have to choose to trust you. If you can’t control your imaginations or prevent yourselves from making crazy accusations constantly, your relationship is probably broken anyway, so you might as well move on. Intimacy is rooted in understanding and accepting each other wholly—including every single sign of vulnerability, and in spite of every single hesitation you experience along the way. TC mark

12 Warning Signs You’re Having An ‘Emotional Affair’ With A Guy And Don’t Even Know It Yet

Posted: 03 Feb 2016 06:48 PM PST

Flickr /// Virginia State Parks
Flickr /// Virginia State Parks

1. You put on your ‘best face’ for him.

Even though you have a boyfriend or a husband (or hell, girl, both), you spruce up your appearance whenever you know you’re going to see your so-called “platonic” guy friend. You start working out, losing weight, buying expensive clothes, getting your hair done, and making sure you look absolutely stunning when he sees you because, y’know…you’re “just friends.”

2. You start hiding your friendship from your significant other.

You wouldn’t want your SO getting all jealous about your friendship, so you conveniently “forget” to tell him that the two of you had lunch together today or that sometimes at night when your SO is asleep next to you in bed the two of you text for hours because, again, you don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea about what’s really going on.

3. You start lying about your friendship to your significant other.

If your husband or boyfriend starts sniffing around and getting suspicious and probing for details about the nature of your “friendship,” you tell him little white lies because, c’mon, you care about his feelings and don’t want to hurt him and really don’t feel like arguing right now anyway.

4. He’s the first person you share news with.

Whether it’s a job promotion, a medical problem, a family dispute, you find that you run to your “friend” and tell him before you tell your boyfriend or your best girlfriends.

5. You share secrets with him…and only him.

You tell him secrets about your past, about your hidden desires, and about your darkest fears that you’ve never bothered to share with your significant other. In several meaningful ways you are more emotionally intimate with this guy than you are with your significant other.

6. You complain about your SO to him.

Can you believe that asshole forgot my birthday again this year? That’s two years in a row! And he’s put on 25 pounds since you first started going out, and he doesn’t even seem to care. And to be honest, he never really was that good in bed, and when he tries to kiss you he jams his tongue down your throat like he’s trying to choke you to death.

7. You start comparing him favorably to your SO.

Well, to be honest, you’ve always had a thing for tall guys, and your friend is a half-foot taller than your boyfriend. And I’m sure he doesn’t snore like your boyfriend does. And he has better teeth. And is funnier. And is probably better in bed.

8. He “gets” you.

In all the hours you’ve talked and texted and Skyped, never for a second did you feel that he didn’t understand what you were saying or trying to express emotionally. Sometimes it’s like you’re both thinking the same thing at the same time and don’t even have to say anything! Whereas with your boyfriend or husband, a lot of times he doesn’t even understand even when you explain it a thousand times.

9. You find yourself reassuring others (and yourself) that you and he are just “best friends” more often than you used to.

Well, sure, the two of you may openly flirt and seem extremely fond of one another, but that’s what friends are for, and it’s all just a bit of playful fun and even though it seems to everyone around you that the two of you are falling head over heels in love, that’s silly because you’re only friends and no one else could ever really understand your friendship—yeah, right!

10. You feel guilty about your “friendship.”

That’s why you delete his texts and Facebook messages and have a secret folder for the pictures he sends you. Even though you keep trying to convince yourself that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with what you’re doing because you haven’t had sex and haven’t even suggested it to one another, you know that you’d flip the hell out if you found your boyfriend having a relationship like this with a girl he insists is “just a friend.”

11. You feel more alive when you think about him.

Definitely more alive than when you think about your boyfriend or husband. You get tingles just waiting for his next message. He’s the first thing you think about when you wake up and the last thing you think about when you fall asleep. Sure, you love your boyfriend—kind of—but that all feels too bland and old and familiar. Your boyfriend just doesn’t excite you like this “friend” on the side does.

12. You dream about him.

And not just daydreaming—you have long, colorful, epic romantic dreams where the two of you are alone and happy and butterflies flap their wings around your heads and all’s right with the world and there will be no more hatred or war or misunderstandings. Girl, it’s time to check yourself. This is more than a friendship—you’re in love. TC mark

My Clairvoyant Friend And I Are Digging Deep Into The Mystery Of ‘Making A Murderer’ (Part Five)

Posted: 03 Feb 2016 06:00 PM PST

Netflix
Netflix

Read Part One Here.

Read Part Two Here.

Read Part Three Here.

Read Part Four Here.

Hello dear friends. I know you’ve been waiting ever so patiently, so here’s a veritable gold-mine of a read from Amy on everyone’s favorite shit-eating grinner, the one who said they should “grieve” Teresa Halbach when she’d only just gone missing, her very own brother:

Mike Halbach

Netflix
Netflix

This guy, out of everyone else in the series, really hocked me off for some reason. Nothing about his body language, his choice of words, his attitude… NOTHING lined up with the picture of a caring brother who had lost his sister and was just trying to cope. No. Every interview, he was already dead-set on Brendan and Steven Avery being guilty.

“WHY?!” I cried at my television every time he appeared, startling my sleeping dog beside me. “WHY ARE YOU CONVINCED THEY DID IT?! YOU’RE AT THEIR TRIAL! THIS IS WHERE YOU ARE LEARNING WHETHER THEY DID IT OR NOT!” There was no “I’d just like to find out what happened to my sister.” No “Yes I heard about the confession, it will be interesting to see how this plays out in court.” This joker actually said, and I quote:

“To me, if this case goes to trial, I think if you put the tape of his, the confession, in the VCR, or DVD player, and play it, and there’s our case right there.”

A reporter asks if he himself has seen the confession tape, and his reply?

“No, I have not.”

Okay. Okay. I get blindly wanting justice for your sister. But Mike Halbach is not a grief-stricken, unintelligent man acting on impulse. He is very calculated. I know that if someone killed a person I loved, of course I would want justice. BUT I WOULD WANT JUSTICE FROM THE PERSON WHO I WAS SURE HAD KILLED HER, OR AT LEAST HAVE MORE INFORMATION ON THE PERSON WHO WAS SUSPECTED OF KILLING HER. I WOULD WANT TO KNOW MY LOVED ONE WAS TRULY AVENGED.

I’m sorry. I’m still hocked off.

Previously, Amy and I had discussed Mike in passing text messages. She picked up right away he was a relative — perhaps a cousin, but then no, decided on brother. I confirmed this was true and she went farther in-depth. So anyway, here’s what Amy had to say about good ol’ Mike:

Wow. Well, there is definitely some very cold-hearted energy here. First thing I pick up is absolute deception in what he is speaking. No doubt in my mind at all that he is being dishonest here.

This, exactly. “Absolute deception.” This is from a photo of Mike on the stand.

Also, there is indifference. A true ‘not caring.’

Now that’s interesting. I was sure he was lying but the idea that he was indifferent to Teresa’s disappearance never occurred to me. However, that makes total sense. How else could you lie about your murdered sister and blindly go along with anything you’re told, not thinking for yourself, unless you really just didn’t give a shit?

I have seen all stages and many, many reactions to grief. They are all different and many times…there is a shock that comes over a person that can be mistaken for non-feeling type of reactions. Here though, this is cold-hearted. There is almost a smirk I can see underneath it all. I see him smirking. He thinks he is smarter than everyone. He is very confident nothing can touch him. He knows he is covered.

Again, one must go into this believing Amy has not watched the documentary — I truly believe she has not, she is very honest and has asked me to share with her the general reactions to our pieces but REFUSES to read them. I take her at her word, it is up to you if you do the same. That being said, she NAILS Mike Halbach’s demeanor. THAT’S what hocked me off so badly. The smugness. The smirking.

So then I sent along a photo of Mike and Ryan (Teresa’s ex) from the search party:

Wow, do they have a lot going on. There is so much deception. A pact. A plan. A keeping the stories straight. I also get some kind of bond with them that is not exactly of the norm… and when I say norm, I mean goes beyond average friendship between males. Almost like they are really into each other but are homophobic and would never admit it to each other.

WOAH. Obviously the first part makes sense, they definitely had to “keep their stories straight.” BUT. The part about being into each other? Very interesting. They were definitely closely associating with each other during the search party. Again, remember this is all speculation, but they were also the ones who “guessed” Teresa’s phone password. Together. Weird, right? And then the voicemails went missing.

Back to Mike:

I feel this man truly does not care in the slightest that his sister is dead. No emotion. Nothing off his back. I also feel an underlined disdain for women in general. They are beneath him and all “whores.” He is very misogynistic.

Interesting angle. I don’t see anything from Mike in the documentary that might suggest this, so these are the kinds of things I look forward to seeing if Amy has right — things that might only be revealed in the future. (Much more of this coming very soon.)

And so we end on a final thought from Amy, regarding:

Ryan Hillegas

Netflix
Netflix

I feel too that skinhead guy [Ryan]…he really played her. The sister. He was key to some very false, yet pertinent information concerning her. He lied. He made up things. I can actually see him talking with men and getting excited…over what he could do …like, “And then I could do this…! And what if I went and did this…?!” type of stuff. Again, like a game. Excited to play the part. Excited to be a part.

This is chilling to read. He was definitely animated on the stand, and emphatic in the idea that no one had entered the Avery property until they were told to. He was also the HEAD of the search party. What? Why? I feel he had way more power than he should have in this scenario. And why is that?

I think he had orders.


So here’s the deal. I’ve got a lot on deck. Up next, more in-depth reads of Scott Tadych, the Janda/Dassey clan, Len Kachinsky, and a shot of the Avery garage. Let’s dig deeper. We’re starting to get somewhere. TC mark

Part 6 Coming Soon.

Fall In Love With All The Pieces Of Me

Posted: 03 Feb 2016 05:29 PM PST

 Twenty20 jmerobbinhood
Twenty20 jmerobbinhood

If you love me
for what you see,
only your eyes would be
in love with me

If you love me
for what you’ve heard,
then you would love me
for my words

If you love
my heart and mind
then you will love me,
for all that I’m

But if you don’t love
my every flaw,
then you mustn’t love me-
not at all. TC mark

This Is Why I’m A Naked Rock Star

Posted: 03 Feb 2016 05:25 PM PST

Ona Artist
Ona Artist

On February 20, 2016, I'll be hosting a release party on Periscope and Snapchat for my first EP, Sex Rock. Everyone who tunes in will also be sent a private link to a digital naked swag bag hosted on my naked pay site, OnaGram.com. Given that I'm the only female musician that I know of who has such a site in tandem with her music career, and that I've already faced considerable negativity from the music industry, art world, friends, family, and mainstream press for this decision, I feel its time to give my reasoning.

It really has to do with what I consider to be a paradox at the heart of feminism that is limiting the creative opportunities of women and the consumer opportunities of men. In order to understand this paradox, one merely needs to look at the history of rock-n-roll and its relationship to female musicians like Madonna, Britney, Beyonce, Lana, Rihanna, Miley, and more. While some might think that these Queens of Pop are part of a trend of sexual liberation, I actually think it's more complicated. Yes, they've busted open some doors for women, but the fact is, what these ladies are allowed to do represents a mere sliver of what male performers are allowed to do. Further, because of the same biases, the opportunities for male music fans are severely limited compared to the opportunities for female fans. Let me explain.

While it might be hard to imagine now, when Elvis started shaking his pelvis on American TV, the world exploded. As Time Magazine put it, Elvis "was all about sex…the sneer, the gyration, the raised eyebrow…everything American parents wanted to suppress in the mid-1950s. Wanted to—but couldn’t." Now, when we say that Elvis (or any of the male music stars that followed him, including the Beatles, Prince, Bruno Mars, and One Direction) is all about sex, what we're really saying is that he aroused women and empowered men. Women thought Elvis was sexy, and men felt sexy acting like Elvis. But the core elicitation of arousal was between a male performer and a female audience.

Now, of course, women are making music too, and yet something is different. For all of the pole dancing, nipple slipping, and straight up sex talking of the Queens of Pop, it's super important to note one simple fact: these women are not "eliciting arousal" from their audiences because their fans are predominantly women (please note: all genders in this article are cis and straight, and all listener trends are based on Spotify data). So why are they so popular? Because what they're doing for their mostly female audience is what Elvis did for his male audience members: sexually empowering, not sexually arousing, them.

Female fans are sexually empowered by female performers and sexually aroused by male performers, and the things those performers do for their female fans are the meat and potatoes of pop media coverage. But what about male fans? Sure, they're sexually empowered by acts like Linkin Park, Lil' Wayne, and Daft Punk, and that fandom is covered in the mainstream press, but what about being sexually aroused? For that, men don't turn to music performers, they turn to porn stars, a massive fandom environment that definitely isn’t covered by popular media.

Ona Artist
Ona Artist

In other words, female music stars don't elicit arousal like male music stars do because they, unlike men, are barred by industry and cultural prejudices from participating in the core rock-n-roll relationship: the elicitation by the performer of sexual arousal in the audience. Let me put that another way. If a female performer seeking a male audience wanted to equal the sexual arousal power of the sharply dressed Beatles singing "I want to hold your hand" to a female audience, she'd have to sing "I want to suck your cock" either fully or mostly naked to a male audience. Problem is, if she did that, she'd get no press, no label, no sales, no tour, and she'd have to just stick to the only market where her attitude is remunerated: porn.

And here's where the "paradox at the heart of feminism" comes in. See, on the one hand, feminists are pushing for women to have equal pay in the workplace and to smash glass ceilings so they can gain economic power. On the other hand, a good number of feminists are against women maximally exploiting their sex appeal (which for women ultimately means getting naked with the intent to elicit masturbation), because they claim it's demeaning. But the fact is, men maximally exploit their sex appeal all the time by being rich, dressing well, and acting sensitive and educated. That's sexy to women. What's sexy to men? Something a bit less clothed. So, yeah, men have it easier. They can be supremely sexy just by being safe for work. But because women can’t be—because they have to go further in a different direction to sexually arouse men—they are constantly ignored or slut-shamed.

If feminists and the mainstream media really want to empower women, they need to accept a few things. First, there is a direct correlation in the entertainment industry between sex and power. Second, what makes men sexy to women is completely different from what makes women sexy to men, and nothing is going to change that (i.e., we need to stop thinking we can change men’s minds about what is sexy). Most importantly, women need to be supported, just like men are, in being fully sexually realized and in doing whatever elicits the most sexual arousal from their fans, and the media needs to cover them just as much as they cover men, even if it means featuring women who engage in NSFW content.

I want to be free and sexual. I want to arouse my fans. And I don’t want to be slut-shamed or ignored for it. I don't want PR agencies to tell me they won't represent me because "no indie journalist will take you seriously." I don't want the art world to keep telling me that if I use my sex appeal in my art, "it's not art." And I don't want the mainstream media to suppress me because my art is NSFW. Rather, I want to be able to stand tall and proud while being supremely sexy just like male rock stars get to, and I want to be given a fair chance in my profession and the press even if my creative expression is NSFW. Men deserve the right to have the same level of arousal-eliciting fandom as women, and women deserve the opportunity to be able to give it to them and reap the benefits just like men. That is true progress and equality.

And that's why I'm a naked rock star. Just like Timberlake can elicit arousal from his female audience by putting on his dashing suit and singing about love, I can elicit arousal from my male audience by taking off my bathing suit and singing about sex. If Pharrell were to show his thing, he'd be shunned by his fans for doing something disgusting. If I show my thing, I'm loved by my fans for doing something arousing. Or, as I think of it, I'm a Female Elvis.

Long live rock-n-roll. TC mark

19 Unconventional Ways You Know You’ve Reached Adulthood (Even If You Still Feel Like A Child)

Posted: 03 Feb 2016 05:19 PM PST

Twenty20 / nenorenberg
Twenty20 / nenorenberg

I'll be honest: most times, even at the ripe ol' age of 33, I don't feel like an adult.  It's probably the not-married/not-a-parent thing, but also the fact that I tend to have some –let's call them "immature" – interests and also still goof off like a teenager.

But there are definitely times in my life (and they're becoming more and more frequent) where I do or say something and it's like, oh…shit.  I AM an adult.  That happened.

Basically, you know you're an adult when…

1. You can't remember a damn thing.  Why did I come in this room?  What was I looking for?  Where am I?  Who am I?!

2. You buy less beauty products focused on young-people-problems like acne/breakouts and focus more on anti-aging things BECAUSE WRINKLES.

3. Sure, buying clothes, shoes and bags is fun – but have you ever been to HomeGoods?!

4. Hangovers last approximately 72 hours.

5. You start taking probiotics 'cause you heard they're "good for digestion."

6. Going out and socializing sometimes feels like a chore, also – why's this bar so friggin loud?!

7. Oh, the party starts at 11pm? That's cute; have fun.

8. You say things like, "When I was younger we didn't even HAVE GPS systems" (seriously, I just said this to someone recently)

9. Bills.  SO.  MANY.  BILLS.  Ones that come in the paper variety via regular mail or electronic ones that arrive via email… they're everywhere.

10. Your idea of good comedy on television is 'The Daily Show.'

11. You watch things like the MTV Music Awards and wonder who TF these kids are and also WAIT HOW IS THIS EVEN CONSIDERED MUSIC?!?

12. You wave bye-bye to your once-fast metabolism and now suffer the consequences of eating unhealthy (seriously, one bad night of eating and your jeans won't fit the next day).

13. You watch ALL THE DOCUMENTARIES.

14. You say asinine things like, "It's too late for me to have coffee; I'll never sleep tonight."

15. After a long week at work, you rush home on Friday nights JUST to plop on the couch in sweats and order takeout. #Bliss

16. Unlike your childhood, sleep has now become your best friend.  Your best friend who you don't see enough, who you think about often and who you want to spend time with more than anyone else.

17. Dressing for comfort > dressing for style.

18. You're always cold.  "Can someone lower the AC in here?"  "Can you toss me that blanket?!" Being an adult means being freezing, always.

19. EVERYTHING HURTS. TC mark

Boko Haram Committed A Massacre Last Weekend And The World Goes On In Silence

Posted: 03 Feb 2016 05:15 PM PST

AK Rockefeller
AK Rockefeller

On Monday morning, a friend posted a news article about Boko Haram’s latest attack. In her post, she posed a question, “Facebook, where’s the option to change my profile photo to pray for my country?”

My friend’s question, though utilizes snark to allude to how different bodies in different geopolitical spaces are treated, makes a valid point on how nationality and space tend to determine whose lives are valued and whose are not, on the global stage. (France and the Paris bombings last year are silently implied.) Who determines the value of different lives in different spaces? Media institutions, political establishments, and of course, “us.”

According to reports, Boko Haram burned 86 children alive in Dalori, a village in northern Nigeria. The group is relentless in its violence, and by sheer body count alone, is a deadlier terrorist group than ISIS. In this light, it strikes me as peculiar that the world at large is not more concerned with fighting Boko Haram. The peculiarity of the situation is diminished however, when one considers that the attack was in a small village in the north of Nigeria, far from the political and economic interests of Nigerian politicians and their international counterparts.

Nonetheless, what took place in Dalori is a massacre. But what has ensued afterwards in the international community is even more tragic – silence. A deafening silence that all too often accompanies the spaces and places that national and international institutions have decided are communities where such tragedies are par for the course.

We saw this lack of regard in Burkina Faso’s attacks last month. We see it in the current Burundi crisis. We see it continuously in nations and communities around the world that are historically disenfranchised and marginalized. We have become too accustomed to seeing particular bodies and particular people, suffer. And we are not a better people for admitting that we care more about certain groups over others, especially when the reasoning behind such care is a matter of historical domination, privilege, and power.

We have become too accustomed to seeing particular bodies and particular people, suffer.

There is such a thing as resistance, and it is needed in the fight for fairness and equality for those whose poverty and disenfranchisement, we benefit from economically and politically, despite any individual convictions we may hold. Resistance in our individual choices in production and consumption, but also in our collective decisions to end violence, is necessary, whether the pursuit is an end to terrorism or poverty or another global problem.

The history of Africa’s relationship to the West, which has from its impetus been such that African countries and people have been a constant victim of Western economic and political exploitation, makes the honest observer cautious of Western aid in partaking in solving any one African country’s problems. But the reality of circumstance and necessity must be considered, and especially so in the global phenomenon that is modern terrorism.

Boko Haram is a Nigerian problem, but it is more than a Nigerian problem. A weakened Nigeria is bad for Africa’s economic progress as a whole. It is also bad in the long-term for Western interests, should Nigeria continue to build a stronger relationship with China and other non-Western countries. Despite Nigeria’s social and political problems, it is still an emerging market, and necessity and opportunity has always made for strange bedfellows.

In the final analysis, Nigerians have an uphill battle to climb in stopping Boko Haram. In dealing with support from outside Nigeria, caution is necessary. But a global problem like terrorism, requires global efforts – including from the West. While it is prudent to proceed with caution, it is vital that institutions across the globe continue to draw attention to those whose lives are most affected by violent tragedies, like the Dalori massacre.

The solutions are complex in these matters, and they may even still be unknown. Earlier today, the Nigerian Air Force used a drone to target a Boko Haram base. The results of this strike will likely be decided in the next few days. Undoubtedly, military action will play a role in all potential solutions in this fight, perhaps not only from Nigeria’s military. But whatever the solutions, silence cannot be the way forward. Human lives are at stake. TC mark

My Love, If You’re Afraid I’ll Leave, Here Are All The Reasons I Plan To Stay

Posted: 03 Feb 2016 05:00 PM PST

Greg Rakozy
Greg Rakozy

Before you, I was starting to believe love tasted like rubbing alcohol.

It never felt very good going down.
But perhaps it wasn’t supposed to.
Everyone all closed eyes and open mouths,
trying to act like cringing for romance is normal.
Like bitter is okay if it’s followed by some warmth.
That we’ll do anything to find bodies to be refuge in the storm.

Men always wanted me for moments, and I was happy to oblige. Forevers weren’t guarantees, I knew better.
I kissed fairytale notions goodbye
when the Big Love ended.
Because the Big Love turned into
I Think This Is Love,
which turned into I Have No Idea What I’m Doing Anymore.

Men always wanted me to be chapters, and I decided being in the book, for even a short duration, was worth it.

There were the ones who chewed me up
in a way I already knew they would.
The ones I spit out first.
That one who operated on my spine without permission,
left me Ragdoll.
Left me flailing in every direction.

Before you, I was starting to rewrite what I wanted without love.

I would joke, “I’m just dead inside now!”
Draw myself as a skeleton, with some barely thumping heart.
I could still see it, though.
Even when I dressed myself up in all black.
Even when I said I didn’t care.
Even when I spit at television screens
and texted boys out of pure disinterest.
I could still see my bleeding heart, organ pumping away.
Asking for someone to come along
with gentle hands and try, this time, to not drop.

You walked into that bar
like you weren’t a bullet to shatter
what I arrogantly thought was impenetrable,
all shoulders down and a shuffle walk.
Said hello, low voice, almost mumbly.
I wanted to ask you to speak up.
To speak directly in my ear.
To breathe heavily as you did so.
To kiss me on the table and never stop.
I didn’t want you to touch me out of practice.
I just couldn’t imagine your hands anywhere else.

I know I’m not always steadiness.
I’m messy and unsure, can’t ever remember
to wear the same socks.
You buy me black leggings that are soft
and fleece because you know I hate wearing jeans.
You tell me you’re thinking of me when it’s 3’oclock.
We get into an argument and my sailor mouth is flying,
you still say, “I love you” before we hang up.

I’m so not used to this, Darling.

But newness doesn’t mean I’ll run.
Newness means I’m learning.
Newness means I’m remembering.

You are Love. And baby, I forgot how good this was. TC mark

10 Dumb Mistakes Smart People Make When Trying To Find Their Purpose

Posted: 03 Feb 2016 04:34 PM PST

Twenty20 / robinbobin
Twenty20 / robinbobin

Why is it so damn hard to figure out your purpose in life? You would think a world filled with options and opportunity would excite you. But sometimes having too many options can paralyze you.

You might think to yourself:

What if I make the wrong choices and waste a bunch of time?

I want better for myself, but I just don’t know where to start.

I know what I want, but I’ll get started and end up quitting like I always do.

You want a better life, but fear and uncertainty keep holding you back. When you try to change your circumstances it seems like climbing a mountain.

Here are the mistakes you might be making when trying to find your purpose in life.

You Focus On Passion

“Find something you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” *Barf* The focus on passion permeates our society. Common thinking leads you to believe passion comes first and success comes later. Wrong.

You want to know how to find passion? Get good at something. Take your natural talents and strengths and build on them. Competence spurs passion. Passion doesn’t come first.

You Set Goal(s)

Success gurus across the globe tell you to bust out the ol’ pen and paper and write down every single little goal you can think of (I’ve been guilty of saying this). This is a great way to accomplish nothing.

Set one goal. Set a time frame to complete it. Once you reach your goal you can move onto something else. Setting a bunch of goals spreads you too thin and keeps you from focusing.

You’re Patient

When it comes to getting started. You spend too much time planning and analyzing. You never take action. Once you do get started, your patience quickly turns to impatience. You get frustrated early on and quit.

Practice patience after you find something worth committing to. Waiting on a sign to get started is stupid.

You Use Positive Thinking

As a substitute for actual work. You watched “The Secret,” and now you believe you can manifest anything with your thoughts. Positive thinking works when combined with diligent and deliberate effort. Your morning affirmations will not magically make you more purposeful.

You Don’t Keep A Journal

I’m not sure why, but there’s something about physically writing things down that makes you more creative, motivated, and productive. Many of the world’s most successful people have  a journal or commonplace book. To write down your ideas, your hopes and dreams, the things that inspire you.

Keep a journal for six months and your life will be ten times better. Just trust me on this one.

You’re Grateful

Sort of. You don’t have a deep and profound sense of gratitude. You’re grateful that you aren’t homeless. You’re grateful that you have food to eat. As you should be, but don’t hide behind gratitude to rationalize the fact you’re not working towards living out your purpose.

You’re Optimistic

In the short run. But when things get tough you get a tummy ache and quit. Maybe a little bit of pessimism would serve you well. For instance, instead of being blindly optimistic about your business or project, run a premortem to point out weak spots and correct them before you launch.

You need optimism in the long run, but you must be mindful of the obstacles you’ll face a long the way. Trust me, they’re coming. Over optimism puts you at risk of being unable to get up after you get knocked down.

You Copy The Habits Of Successful People

Mistakenly believing the routines themselves make then successful. You read blog a post that says 83% percent of CEOs wake up at 5 a.m. so you believe that waking up early is the key to success. Routines and habits are a must, but they must be built around your personality and preferences. Don’t force yourself to be a morning person if you’re not one. Figure out the time of day when you do your best work and do it at that time. Experiment with your routine until it fits.

You Think You’re Smart

And you are. But maybe you’re too smart for your own good. Smart people can be overconfident. Smart people can get drunk on their own ideas. Smart people try to reinvent the wheel when it’s unnecessary. Smart people try to hard too be original instead of making an impact. It’s okay to be smart, just don’t let it blind you from what needs to be learned and what needs to be done.

You Believe In Mistakes

That’s why you read this post in the first place. Because you’re afraid of doing the wrong thing. Because you’re worried about looking foolish.

Don’t worry about making mistakes. Worry about doing something that matters. Here’s what’s going to happen when you make the decision to work towards living out your purpose.

  • It will be a little scary at first, but if you stick with it you’ll start to enjoy yourself.
  • You’ll start to feel passionate because you’re finally doing what you want to do instead of just talking about it.
  • You’ll hit the dip — the moment where you’re ready to quit but you’re inches away from succeeding. If you make it through the dip, you become a champion.

You’re never going to have it all figured out. But with time you’ll come closer to doing what you were put on this earth to do. Finding your purpose in life takes a lot of self-awareness and experimentation. The most important part is to get started.

I’m begging you to get started. Make today your day. You owe it to yourself. As cliché as it sounds you only have one life to live. I want you to live it well. I want you to live knowing you’re serving a purpose higher than your own needs. I want you to know what it feels like to toss and turn all night because you’re bursting with excitement about your plans for the future.

I know you can do it. I’m not just saying that either. I know you can do it because of the amazing things seemingly average people have done in the span of human history — when they believed in themselves, when they stopped worrying about what other people thought of them, when they felt fear but pressed forward anyways.

Deep down you know you can do it too. The question is — will you? TC mark