Thought Catalog


I’m So Afraid That I’m Unworthy Of Your Love

Posted: 29 Feb 2016 08:00 PM PST

05
Jeff Isy

"I wish I had met you before I became myself.” I said. 

“What do you mean?" 

And like that I was confessing my greatest insecurities, my greatest fears: "It is just…people always talk about the fact that your past builds you — that it influences the way you are and how you love and how you interact with the world you live in. When I say I wish I had met you before I became myself, I'm saying that I wish I had met you before heartbreak convinced me that I was safer on my own. I wish I had met you before I was walked out on four years ago, before my parents got divorced, before my little sister let someone break her teeth on promises. I wish I had met you before everything burrowed inside of me, before it all grew me into this person who may never feel worthy of loving a man like you."

He unlaced his fingers from my palms and pulled my face close to his. I could see saltwater dancing around his eyes, illuminated by the ashen shadow of the moon. I had never seen him cry and through the tears he said to me:

You don't see it do you? The beautiful battlefield you are. You come to me with your failed relationships and your stinging regrets, cupped within your hands, offered to me like an apology.

But, the thing is,  you don't have to apologize for the way the world broke you. You don't have to ask me to forgive you for having scars, or doubts, or fears. You think you aren't enough, that your experiences took from you and left you lacking, but that couldn't be more wrong. Your past may have built you but it never reduced you, it never spoiled your potential — it only ever added to it, it only ever made you stronger, more deserving of a love that loves you back.

Sometimes my chest sinks into my stomach when I realize you truly don't see yourself the way I see you. See, I don't see your parents divorce, or your sisters despair. I don't see anguish stamped along your skin, I don't notice the tremble in your "I love yous." When I see you, I see roses. I see forests of potential just budding from your limbs. When I see you I see courage; I see a woman who is loving despite being afraid, I see a woman who is fighting despite feeling weak. When I see you I see a strength that inspires me.

He pressed his lips into mine, the power of his words filling my bones with warmth, and just like that I knew, that this man was a light in my life, and I would only ever want to grow towards him. TC mark

Pasted image at 2016_02_26 03_41 PM

Read more writing like this in Bianca Sparacino’s book Seeds Planted In Concrete here.

49 Real Nurses Share The Terrifying Hospital Ghost Stories That Scared Them To Death

Posted: 29 Feb 2016 07:00 PM PST

via Flickr - Jan Bommes
via Flickr – Jan Bommes

1. The Vanishing Girl

I was a new nurse at our hospital, and only been working there a couple of months.

I had brought a patient of mine up to day surgery from the ER for an endoscopy and they called back down and asked me to bring her family up because she only spoke Italian (and not enough English) and they needed someone to consent for the procedure.

After dropping them off, I I walked past the waiting room to head back down the hall to the elevators. I took the back way to get to the ER and the hallways are all deserted – it used to be the pediatric wing of the hospital, but that is all shut down for years and the rooms are just empty and full of broken equipment and beds and crap.

As I reached the old nurses station at the T junction between the pediatric hallway in the hallway that goes to the elevators, I saw a little girl standing across from the nurses station further down the hall. She had big pigtails, was wearing a brown dress, white shoes, holding a teddy bear. I thought perhaps she was a family member who had walked away from the day surgery waiting room. I was concerned that she would go into one of the rooms and get hurt or lost, so I said “hey little girl, what are you doing? You don’t need to be over there, you’re going to get hurt…” and I walked around the nursing station to go grab her hand and bring her back.

I shit you not, she VANISHED as I got about 15 feet away from her.

Every hair on my body stood up straight and I turned and ran like a bat out of hell down to the elevator. I pounded that button for what seemed like an eternity until the elevator got to the floor. As I got back to the ER I walked up to the nurses desk, white as a sheet, and one of the older nurses looked at me and said “Jesus Christ what’s wrong with you?”

I remember babbling like an idiot as I tried to tell them what happened. After listening to me for a moment or two, the nurse said “oh you saw the little girl ghost… she’s been around here for years…” and I remember saying “well thanks for telling me about it before this…!”

Apparently the ghost has even been seen down in the ER, ducking in and out of patient rooms and peeking around curtains. My wife worked up on the 7th floor and she said that one time on nights a whole row of patient rooms started yelling about a little girl that was running around in the rooms.

I guess she gets around.

2. Like The Dead Are Leaving The Hospital

I work in intensive care a small community hospital. We have a 9 bed unit that is completely closed off from the medical floor via two doorways. Two nights ago, we were all sitting at our the station, charting, when we all heard footsteps coming down the hall. Its a completely open unit where you can see every room from everywhere. No one was in the unit with us. CT is below us and they close at 5 (unless and emergency comes in) and we only have people on the second floor, the third is used as storage, so no one was above us. It happened two or three times.

Then last night cupboard doors kept opening and shutting in the two empty rooms. I finally asked my coworker WTF was going on and she just told me that it usually happens after someone passes, especially if it was sudden. We had two codes last week that we lost and I guess everyone has had weird stuff happening for a couple days.

3. The Man With The Striped Shirt

Not mine, but a fellow nurse of mine. We were talking about patients’ hallucinations when he told me about this time he was walking past a patient’s room, an elderly woman with dementia, and she was chatting up a storm with someone. He asked her who she was talking to, and the woman replied “that nice man in the black and white striped shirt.” A while later he went into another patient’s with dementia room, and that different patient asked where the man with the striped shirt had gone.

4. “Don’t Let Them Take Me!”

The best I have heard is from a nurse who said that one night she was floated to oncology at the hospital she used to work at. She was given a patient who was passing away and had been unconscious for several days. At one point during the night the nurse went into the room and the patient was at the top of the bed and looked at her and said, “don’t let them take me!” The nurse was freaked out and asked her who was going to take her and she said that black thing up there and pointed up in the air. This patient died within minutes.

5. An Unexplained Black Shape

One night I was caring for a dying male patient. He was scared and I spent quite some time with him, trying to calm and reassure him. Eventually he calmed and I left the bedside and went over to the nurses station which was about 15 feet away. As I sat down I glanced over to him and there was a black shape standing over the bed, looking down at the patient. I was terrified, and am sure it was something evil.

6. In Two Places At Once

I used to work in a state institute for developmentally disabled. We were temp relocated to another building for remodeling of our bldg. Anyways…I was working one night, 2nd shift. We had a locked pica unit. I saw one of the residents walking down the hall. Very distinct gait and very distinct yellow t-shirt w/ a happy face on it. I went into the ward to let staff know that they had an escapee. This was a serious situation because this particular resident, Larry, would ingest absolutely anything (from clothing to pens to belts to *ugh* a bird’s head)…literally anything. He was also very reluctant to go back to his home ward (hence why I didn’t bring him back myself…he needed two escorts). When we got back into the hall, less than 15 secs later, Larry was gone!! We searched the entire building! Outside, downstairs, all wards…he was NO WHERE to be found!!! This whole search lasted last than 10 mins because I had all extra staff looking for him.

I was just about to call the house supervisor to let her know that we “lost” someone when out from the bathroom walks Larry with one of the staff. He had been getting his bath in the bathroom for the last 30 mins or so. Kind of freaky! I absolutely, without a doubt, saw Larry in the hallway. I never would’ve short-staffed the wards like I did if I hadn’t seen him! Like I said, very distinctive gait, look, clothing. I took a lot of razzing that nite! They all thought that I was crazy. Anyways, come to find out the next day, after the story goes around that I am crazy…Larry had an identical twin brother who died in that building 10 yrs previously.

7. The "Grandchild"

We had a black girl, about 10 in ICU that was severely injured in a car accident. Lots of brain damage. She didn’t die there but was moved to another facility after weeks and weeks.

After that, I know of 3 older black males, in their 50’s, that, if they were even mildly sedated, would ask about the little black girl with the ribbon in her hair who was sitting at the foot of their beds.

One guy said, “she asked me how I was doing, and then got up and walked that way” while he was pointing towards the 2nd floor window. He paused, a wide-eyed look came over his face, and then he said, ‘But I guess she really couldn’t have left the room that way, huh?”

Personally, I think she was taking care of grandfatherly figures.

8. The ‘Dark’ Room

I worked in an ICU where a prisoner convicted of murder died in ICU 1 – and nobody would put a patient in that room after that cause the air was too heavy and the room was too spooky and ‘dark’. It was so bad that the hospital eventually closed down the room and knocked out a wall to make it a separate entrance into the unit because nurses would refuse to put patients in the room even if it was the last available bed. They’d triage out a patient before they’d trust putting a patient in that bed.

9. Nurse Betty

I was working in the NICU when we had a threat of a tornado. Some Nurses got pulled to go to a sister hospital in town to assist in the disaster plan. When all was over one of the nurses returned with this story: She was assisting the nurses in giving some meds before pulling all into the hallways. Every pt she went to said they already had their meds from that nice nurse in the white uniform and hat. She realized after she left that its been awhile since a nurse has worn a hat. That story revealed the urban legend of Nurse Betty. Story goes she had an affair with a married MD, became pregnant then agreed to allow him to perform an abortion on her on the 2nd floor OR room.She died and he went to jail. She never left the hospital and was seen frequently. The local newspaper would do an article of her every year around halloween on her sightings. The hospital has since been replaced with college dorms. Hmmmm i wonder if any students have seen her?

10. Rocking Mary

The story of “Rocking Mary.” We closed room 12 in our MICU because just about every patient that has been there since Mary died complaints of seeing a woman in wearing a white habit rocking back and forth by their bedside. Apparently this nun never makes eye contact…just stares outside the window which happens to be on the patient left side over their head. This window overlooks the hospital cemetery where nuns that have died where buried. Mary was a nun that died of a car accident outside the hospital back in the 50’s. She was only about 30 years old and all patient describes her as a young woman. We all thought that it was the “sun-down syndrome.” Anyways, since then room 12 became our storage room where no one goes in by themselves unless it is absolutely critical.

11. The Lingering Spirit

We had a patient, chronic CHFer, always on the call button, hated being on fluid restrictions. you know the type: the nurses have to take turns during the shift answering the call button so the primary can actually do other work.

And this was a frequent flier cause he was very chronic, very borderline, and the hospital was the only place he wouldn’t fluid overload.

I work 7p-7a. He died about 8pm. Oh the look on his face, like, “how could you let me die!” – Like it was our fault.

Anyway, family came and gone by 9pm, funeral home gone at 930pm.

About 10pm, the call button starts going off. I was there – call button going off every 5 minutes.

One of the nurses was a very spiritual girl. At about 2am, after like 4 HOURS OF THIS, nurse Mary snaps, ‘Enough!’

She walks down to the room, and, practically screams into the empty room, “Mr X, you have died. You can’t be in here bothering us anymore. Move along. In the name of Jesus, I’m exorcising you from this plane of existence. Go to the light and be happy!”

And I kid you not, the call button stopped going off then and there.

12. The Lonely Ghost

Not a spooky story but a lonely ghost.

One of the rooms, if it was being used regularly, fine. no problems. But, since it was a room at the end of the hall, it was used for ‘storage’ lots of times.

If a couple of weeks went by and there were no patients/activity in the room, the call light would start going off, 4-5 times a shift. But, if you went into the room and turned on the TV, the call light wouldn’t go off anymore.

So, needless to say, when the room was being used for storage, the tv was always on w/ the volume down low.

13. The Old Nun

Like most very old hospitals, at one time our hospital was run by nuns. One particular unit had been converted into a sleep study lab area for outpatients tests. One shift in the middle of the night I was watching the video monitor and five patients simultaneously began removing their monitoring equipment. I went into the first room to ask what was going on and the patient said that old nurse with the cap told her the study was over and that she could leave. All the patients reported the same story.

25 Real Stories Of Petty Revenge That Will Reassure You Karma Is A Very Real Thing

Posted: 29 Feb 2016 06:00 PM PST

To The Girls Who Have Forgotten Their Strength

Posted: 29 Feb 2016 05:00 PM PST

arieastman
arieastman

Lately, she’s been letting the bathroom mirrors fog up whenever she showers. Sure, it’s pretty staggering when she tries to get out, the moisture, the heat. Like she’s trying to get dressed in a sauna. She could open a window, or leave the door a crack.

But then the mirror would clear up.
Then she’d have to look.

And what a sight it would be, one of perfectly imperfect combinations, of skin, of heart, of memories. She just can’t see what a beautiful thing that would be.

Lately, she’s been rewriting definitions of who she thought she’d become. She wants to cry in the middle of the grocery store and isn’t even sure why. She makes a list in her head of all the things she still hasn’t done, all the things she should, all the things she never will.

Funny, she never remembers all the ways she has survived to get here. All the times she has thrived.

She wonders what would happen if she crawled into her bed for 72 hours. She could pull all the drapes shut, put her phone on Do Not Disturb. Maybe she could disappear, just momentarily. Maybe she doesn’t know how to be okay.

How to be in control.
How to be strong.

She thinks back to the last fire to hold her hand. The way he kissed each knuckle and she buckled beneath him. She thought love and vulnerability were synonymous, that within the craziness of falling, she couldn’t also possibly be strong.

She remembers the way he made her doubt, the times he invalidated how she felt and she nodded along.

There is a photo of them in a car sitting on her mantel. He is looking at her in it, and she beams at the camera.

Maybe that's just how he looks at girls in cars. Looks like they need saving, doesn't see how she can be her own Superhero. Her kryptonite not his hands, or the galaxy behind his glasses, the promises that fall silent when the sun rises and the sheets are made.

She only falls when she forgets her power, that she is the moon and stars and everything he wishes upon. She thinks, maybe that's just how he looks at girls in cars. Doesn't even see she's the one driving.

She’s always been the one driving. TC mark

The Biopic Of Katherine Johnson: A Black Woman Who Helped Put The First Man On The Moon

Posted: 29 Feb 2016 04:45 PM PST

Commons
Commons

Nearly all the heroes and, certainly anyone who ever did anything noteworthy or highly intellectual in human history are all white men— according to Hollywood. In the midst of the perennial #OscarSoWhite outrage against the myopic industry, Fox 2000 has announced it will develop a biographical film starring Taraji P. Henson as history-making genius, Katherine Johnson. Johnson, the third African-American to earn a PhD in mathematics, crossed more racial and gender lines when she helped the United States become the first nation to put a man on the moon. By portraying the pioneering mathematician, Taraji P. Henson will be also smashing long-standing molds in American cinema.

School children learn the names John Glenn and Neil Armstrong, but few people ever hear about the remarkable women — several of whom were black — that crunched the numbers for the early U.S. space missions. Katherine Johnson was one of these amazing women. Because computers in the middle of the 20th century were not as powerful as they are now, astronauts and NASA scientists relied on Katherine to calculate "the trajectories of America’s first manned mission into orbit and the first Moon landing". For decades, her contributions to American history remained a well-kept secret. President Obama changed this when he awarded her the Presidential Medal of Freedom. Now a book and a movie, Hidden Figures, starring Taraji P. Henson, about Johnson's life are scheduled for release next year.

We can count on one hand the number of major Hollywood films (fictional or autobiographical) featuring women of any ethnicity in a lead role as a mathematician. Someone made a film about the life journey of '70s porn star Linda Lovelace; yet, sadly there is nothing on celluloid dedicated to the legendary Ada Lovelace, the world's first computer programmer. The Imitation Game, The Theory of Everything, and A Beautiful Mind prove that people can be entertained by sundry details of the lives of real life number nerds. We also somehow bought Matt Damon as a janitor and a genius and believed Jeff Goldblum could wrangle aliens and dinosaurs with his math mojo. So, why can't we get more films like Proof and Agora?

Taraji P. Henson's star power is one of the many exciting things about Hidden Figures. Her complex and invigoratingly authentic character "Cookie" on Fox's Empire is no doubt responsible for a substantial part of the show's popularity with viewers. With the help of Henson's talent and appeal, the series demonstrates that media centered on African-American characters, and originally aimed at black audiences, could appeal to a broader demographic. This reality, and the fact that Empire was conceived and produced by black visionary Lee Daniels, should be compelling support for more diversity in Hollywood, in front of and behind the camera.

Taraji P. Henson started amassing her adoring public long before the streetwise "Cookie" became a household name. The formally trained entertainer was initially an engineering student in college before switching to theatre arts. One of Henson's early television projects, Taken from Me: The Tiffany Rubin Story earned her an Emmy nomination for outstanding lead actress in a mini-series. She obtained parts in diverse and popular cinema projects such as Hustle & Flow alongside Terrence Howard, and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, which earned her an Oscar nomination. Henson went on to develop a loyal base of tech/sci-fi fans from her small screen time as "Detective Carter" in the series "Person of Interest".

Fox is therefore likely banking on both talent and Henson's astounding popularity to make this movie about a black woman mathematician a success. Taraji P. Henson will be joined in "Hidden Figures" by Octavia Spencer, an actress with a similar combination of visibility and acting chops to tell this important American story. Spencer, who appeared in small roles in the science fiction films Insurgent and Snowpiercer, won an Oscar, Golden Globe, a SAG and a BAFTA award for her supporting work in the commercially successful The Help. Regardless of its ultimate reception by the public, this planned biopic about a mathematically gifted black woman and her compatriots will be groundbreaking.

Historical movies featuring non-white main subjects offer the rare promise— but not a guarantee (the plague of whitewashing endures) — an actor of color can expect to claim a major role in the film project. Unfortunately for black actresses, Hollywood rarely produces biopics featuring black women. And, most of these are based on women in entertainment or sports. Less than a handful of other movies have been made about black female civil rights icons.

Black women have always been busy being phenomenal and fascinating in every facet of life, including the medical and STEM fields. Despite this abundance of diverse stories to inspire filmmakers, acting parts substantial enough to garner the attention of critics and propel black actresses to the awards podiums tend to be women in crisis, destitution, or servitude. Hidden Figures could be the movie to break this curse. We could witness a Golden Globe or Oscar nod for a black woman we didn't have to watch endure enslavement, servitude, abuse, rape, or abjection on the big screen.

Some BioPics Featuring Black Women (*Available on Netflix Streaming)

Belle

Bessie (feat. Queen Latifah as Bessie Smith)

Betty & Coretta (Mary J. Blige and Angela Basset as Betty Shabazz and Coretta Scott King)

Cadillac Records (Beyonce as Etta James)

From the Rough (feat. Taraji P. Henson)**

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings (Maya Angelou's early life)

Introducing Dorothy Dandridge (Halle Berry in her breakthrough film)

Lady Singes the Blues (Diana Ross as Billy Holiday)

Rosa Parks Story

What Happened Miss Simone? (documentary)**

What's Love Got to Do With It TC mark

Are Boobs Soft Or Hard?: A Virgin Asks 27 Questions About Sex

Posted: 29 Feb 2016 04:15 PM PST

iStockPhoto.com / Anne Baek
iStockPhoto.com / Anne Baek
Found on AskReddit.

1) Do you wait for your SO to remove his/her clothes?

2) How do you tell her that you want to have sex?

3) How long do women last?

4) Does the foreskin automatically come up during sex?

5) When you kiss, do you ever think about the transfer of dirty bacteria? You can’t wear a condom in your mouth and kiss.

6) Are blowjobs painful? What if the canines of the girl pierce the foreskin of the penis?

7) When you hug, don’t you feel ticklish?

8) What happens if a girl sneezes while giving a blowjob?

9) People who give rimjobs—do you ever think “this is the place from where she poops from”?

10) People with slightly bent penises (like a curved banana), has it ever happened that you can’t fit your penis in a vagina?

11) What happens if the guy cums in a butt during anal sex? Cum is pretty hard to remove. So how do you remove it from there?

12) Does a burp or fart ever ruin the moment?

13) Can women fart during anal sex?

14) Can you milk a woman’s nipples with your hands?

15) Does girth matter?

16) Does the G-spot exist?

17) Is there any difference in the amount of pleasure one gets when using a condom and when not using one?

18) Do you ever think about random stuff like video games, pizza, etc. while having sex?

19) Do you talk about life, economics, politics, etc. while having sex?

20) Do you feel like banging your penis against a wall when breaking a girl’s hymen?

21) If a couple has sex after a meal, and the girls gives a blowjob, do bits of food get stuck on the penis and in between the foreskin?

22) Is there actually a lot of noise generated during sex?

23) Are boobs soft or hard?

24) Do you compliment your SO’s private parts?

25) Can a woman’s vagina be so small that the whole penis can’t fit in completely?

26) Do women get aroused when they visit the gynecologist?

27) When anyone tickles me, I tend to become aggressive and start kicking/punching the tickler. I have very little control over this reaction. People with similar problems, what happens if you feel ticklish? TC mark

There Is A Right Way (And A Wrong Way) To Be Selfish In Your Twenties

Posted: 29 Feb 2016 04:00 PM PST

Redd Angelo
Redd Angelo

I've always hated the catchphrase "your twenties are your time to be selfish."

This is perhaps a good reminder for those who truly need it – for those who tend to give too much, lend their time and their attention without restraint, to those who rush too quickly into caring for others and fail to care amply for themselves.

But this is not the world's best catchphrase for the rest of us – those who naturally gravitate toward the selfish options as is; those who need to consciously and purposefully choose the higher road. We already know about selfishness. We don't need the extra encouragement.

And the overarching problem with the notion of 'selfishness' is that it begs the question of what it is we owe to one another.

Are certain actions selfish in a vacuum but not when you layer them in context? Is what's selfish in one situation admissible in another? Is there a good time to be selfish and a bad time? Is there a right or a wrong way to go about it all?

I'm inclined to believe that there is.

I'm inclined to believe that we can't classify selfishness as purely good or bad in and of itself, but there are a few principles we can agree on. Particularly as we navigate our twenties. Particularly as we work our way through the troublesome years of both trying to find our people and trying to find ourselves. Because we're going to mess up along the way. And we cannot just chalk every misstep up to 'these are our years to be selfish.’

Because they're also our years to be accountable. They always are. They always will be.

And here is what I'd like to hope we can agree on:

You owe people common decency. You aren't allowed to chalk flakiness and insincerity up to being selfish because you deserve to be. You have to show up when you say you will. You have to deliver what you've promised to deliver. Or at the least, you have to communicate the fact that you can't do so. You have to follow up on what you cannot measure up to.

You owe people common decency, but you do not owe them your suffering. You don't owe it to them to stay if you really want to go. You don't owe it to them to fight if you want to give up. You owe it to people to be decent and understanding of the damage that your actions have imposed but you don't owe it to them to inflict pain on yourself so they don't feel it themselves.

Sometimes life hurts and you're allowed to let it hurt for other people without sacrificing yourself as collateral damage.

You owe people honesty and transparency. You don't have the right to make promises you don't plan to keep because it gets you something that you want. You don't have the right to manipulate others into serving you in a way that puts them at a personal disadvantage. You don't have the right to take as much as other people as they'll give you, because it's their responsibility to stand up for themselves. You have to be open with people. You have to be honest about what you want and what you cannot give.

You owe it to people to be honest but you owe it to yourself to let your mind change. You are allowed want one thing at one point and then not want it later. You don't have to hang on to something that's making you miserable solely because you once thought it would make you happy. You don't have to keep living out past choices because you committed to them at a time when you genuinely thought that you wanted them.

You owe it to others to explain why you're mind changed and why now you must move in another direction, but you don't owe it to them to stay stuck. You don't owe anyone that insincerity.

You owe it to people to be decent and fair and accountable for your actions. But you don't owe it to anyone to sacrifice your happiness so that they can keep theirs.

You get to be selfish in what you want. You get to go after your dream job, your dream relationship, your dream route to self-actualization. But you don't get to completely disregard the impact that your actions have on others.

You have to be open about your intentions along the way. You have to be honest when you mess something up. You have to stick around to pick up the pieces now and then, even if you'd rather move on.

You owe it to yourself to pursue whatever's going to make you happy but that doesn't mean your actions do not have consequences.

Being selfish in a way that is healthy doesn't mean that you're exempt from your own wrongdoings.

It simply means that you're able to understand the impact you have on the world around you. That you're able to measure your selfishness with decency. With fairness. With respect for the people who're affected by your actions.

These are your years to be selfish. But they're also your years to develop into a decent, caring and respectful human being.

And at the end of it all, you're going to be happier to have developed into a well-rounded person than into someone who devoted an entire decade to selfishness. TC mark

24 Truly Agonizing Struggles Only The First Born Child Understands

Posted: 29 Feb 2016 03:15 PM PST

iphann
iphann

1. After we grew up, bedtimes became recommendations. We had to live with our parents strict eye on the watch, sending us away to bed the very second of our official bedtime. Our siblings basically get to stay up watching TV until freaking 3am if they want.

2. Seeing our siblings get permission for their friends to come over with zero effort. Back in our day, we had to launch a three-day negotiation to have a friend spend the night. Nowadays, the home is basically a halfway house to whoever our little siblings want over.

3. Being expected to have the repair skills of a mechanical engineer. The television isn’t working? The Xbox is broken? If anything technology-related goes wrong, we are expected to have the answer, cuz we’re “the oldest.” Nevermind that we have no clue either!

Source: Giphy

4. And the parents will never ask the younger sibling learn “fix-it” skills, cuz we can just figure it out…4eva 🙃

5. ALSO, parents just assume we can help with homework. Oh, little brother is having problems with Algebra? Surely, we can do it right?? (we can’t). And whenever we dare suggest that maybe mom or dad could help, they just remind us that we’ve been in school more recently than them.

6. Watching our siblings walk around with iPhones and stuff that our parents ABSOLUTELY would have never given us when we were that age.

7. Getting assigned the most random, useless chores while our young brothers and sisters sit around and do nothing.

8. Essentially acting as a third parent (or unpaid babysitter) without any of the parental authority or perks:

“Hey!” Mom says with one foot out the door. “You’re okay to cancel all of your fun plans tonight and watch your siblings, right? kthxbai!” 🙃

9. And then if our siblings do something bad under our watch, it’s somehow our fault, because we dared to turn on the television or go to sleep.

10. But our younger siblings can get away with basically anything, cuz they don’t “know better” yet. (I think they’ll be like 49 and still not “know better yet” tbh).

Source: Giphy

11. Getting forgotten when it comes to dinner or fun plans out because we were busy studying or working at our part time job.

12. How parents eventually stop buying stuff for us, because we have said part-time job and can surely, “afford it yourself now!”

13. Getting frustrated about how our siblings are allowed to basically eat a whole dessert truck everyday, yet don’t appear any less healthy than we do.

14. And watching our siblings get away with stuff that there’s no way we would have.

15. Like, when’s the last time mom or dad made our siblings clean their room? Probably years.

16. Just saying: if we talked to mom or dad like that we would have been grounded before our mouth enunciated the last syllable.

Source: Giphy

17. Slowly watching our possessions get re-gifted to our siblings, sometimes (usually) without our permission.

18. Like, we go off to college and suddenly our younger sister has our clothes, video games, and maybe even our freaking room.

19. And because we were first, the expectations heaped on us are basically insane. Like, we could colonize the moon while our youngest sibling just manages to roll out of bed and we all KNOW who would walk away with the praise.

20. And yeah, we might have got a used car when we turned 16, but we suddenly became public transit for all our younger siblings.

21. Like, I’m pretty sure our parents forgot how to drive.

22. Our parents also can’t quit asking us when we are going to get married and have kids.

Source: Giphy

23. But they don’t ask our younger siblings, because they have time.

24. But it’s all worth it, because being the oldest does mean we are the best. TC mark

6 Fictional Characters I Was In Love With Who Would Actually Be Terrible Boyfriends

Posted: 29 Feb 2016 03:00 PM PST

1. Ross Geller from Friends

Ahhhh, Ross, my fictional dream guy who filled up many a page of my 6th grade diary. I was sure he was the kind of person I should end up with. Sensitive, intelligent, a little mumbly and awkward. He was the lovable geek with a heart of gold who, for some reason, just kept getting overlooked. Could you BE any more foolish, Rachel? I mean, CLEARLY they were on a break. And look how tall he is! Yum. I was ready to dive into a thousand oceans if it meant I could wind up with him as my lobster. In fact, I wanted to be Mrs. Geller so badly, thirteen-year-old me told a boy in my class to tell his buddy (who was crushing on me) to move on because I had ZERO room in my heart for anyone else. Harsh, maybe, but I was a woman pre-teen in love.

Friends
Friends

And then I grew up and re-watched the series.

ROSS, WHY ARE YOU ACTUALLY THE WORST?

His intelligence is great, but not when it’s being used as a holier than thou bargaining tool. The entire gang is smart, but Ross is the only one who’s an asshole about it. And the JEALOUSY. Oy, with the jealousy! Rachel finally gets an amazing job that she’s really excited for and Ross cannot handle it. Ross would have been that guy who is so grateful to be with you…until you start growing or changing or just, you know, embracing who you are. Then Red Ross would reappear. And that’s not cute.

2. Seth Cohen from The O.C.

For years, I was sure no one could ever live up to my enormous crush on Seth Cohen. Those curls! Those dimples! That dry, sarcastic wit! Be still, my beating heart.

The O.C.
The O.C.

I do seriously lust for Cohen, but he and Summer are kind of a hot mess and not as sweet as I remembered. They get their act together later on, but young-me romanticized the shit out of that couple. In reality, Cohen is insecure and just a little too whiny. It’s funny to watch, sure, but would be terrible in a partner. But you know who would be a great boyfriend? SANDY COHEN.

3. JD from Scrubs

It took me a weird amount of time to realize having a crush on JD was almost narcissistic because a lot of his (terrible) characteristics remind me of…me. JD represents all my worst parts: neurotic, indecisive, bags under the eyes.

Scrubs
Scrubs

His inner monologue is relatable and he’s the ideal Jewish doctor to bring home to my family. But he’s also a bit of a tool. And doesn’t treat women very well. He’s that great fake-nice-funny-guy-but-actually-an-asshole. Plus, you just know he’s selfish in bed.

4. Cory Matthews from Boy Meets World

Are you picking up on a pattern yet? That I’m hopelessly attracted to goofy, anxious men? Yeah, I know. It’s great.

Boy Meets World
Boy Meets World

Topanga and Cory are #RelationshipGoals, or whatever, but you cannot watch that show back and not tell me Cory is annoying. Like, damn. Bless you for sticking around, Topanga. You could have done so much better.

5. Arthur from Arthur

Sure, I was only five when this crush was happening, but it’s hard to imagine any staying power for the two of us. He wears glasses! I’ve got 20/20 vision! He wears thick sweaters! I like crop tops! He’s an aardvark! I’m a human! We’re from different worlds…

Arthur
Arthur

6. Spike from Buffy The Vampire Slayer

He was evil. I just don’t see how we could have made that work.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Who were your (in retrospect) awful crushes? Let us know!

TC mark

11 Veterans On How To Succeed After The Military

Posted: 29 Feb 2016 02:15 PM PST

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The military life has its own protective bubble in a way. You have a steady paycheck, health insurance, and a host of career trajectory options. Retention Non-Commissioned Officers will attempt to scare you into reenlisting by warning you about how hard it is in the real world and the dire condition of the economy. The feeling of finally gaining your freedom back as a civilian can be overwhelming and full of contradictory emotions ranging from full-fledged glee to utter dread when you realize you have no idea what you want to do with your life now that you've hung up your uniform for good. Most of the career advice you find never quite feels suited to your unique skill set and experiences. In an effort to pass down some hard-earned knowledge, the following 11 veterans will give you a bit of advice on how to succeed in your post-military career ambitions.

1. Raul Felix, U.S. Army 2005-2009, Writer & Poet

"Realize that most people will not understand that dark sense of humor you may have developed. Be consciously aware of whom you're talking to and whether or not they can handle a fucked-up joke that may come out of your mouth. Test the waters a bit first; don't go full-on dead-baby joke after only talking to a person for five minutes."

2. Jack Murphy, U.S. Army 2002-2010, Editor at SOFREP

"The most important thing I realized when I left the high-octane world of Army Special Operations for the private sector is that you have to learn to be both a soldier and a manager at the same time. That is to say, you no longer have a Team Leader or Squad Leader looking over your shoulder telling you it is time to rest, time to eat, time to go to sleep. That soldier work ethic is critical and gives you an edge over civilians, but you also have to keep in mind that life is a marathon, not a sprint. Besides, you’re not a 19-year old Ranger now. It’s OK to take a vacation, read a book, or play some video games at the end of the day. Otherwise you end up working yourself to death."

3. VaNiesha Honani, U.S. Navy 1998-2005, Certification Manager

"Job Interviews outside of DOD / Government jobs like Tech Startups: 90% of my interviews outside of DOD and governmental jobs have assumed that because I was in the military—it’s 'robot do.' We are only used to instructions and stringent structure with little initiative or innovation. I started cutting them off at the head with a good anecdote (they love hearing the “Once in band camp…' stories.) that shows how we had to use some innovation in a stressful time. Second thing I point out is we are very adaptable. I’ve won every time by pointing out, 'Being in the military – I’ve learned you can’t have a 3rd eye and be sensitive about it, adapt and take it with a grain of salt.' In Tech Startups – you tend to be around some finicky but talented people – not being high maintenance and self sufficient is a dream employee."

That soldier work ethic is critical and gives you an edge over civilians, but you also have to keep in mind that life is a marathon, not a sprint.

4. Leo Jenkins, U.S. Army 2003-2007, Author of On Assimilation & Lest We Forget

"Leaving shouldn’t mean severing ties. I get it; I wanted nothing to do with the rank and file of the military when I got out. Sadly that meant isolating myself. Guess what, you just served in the most cohesive fraternity in the world. You know the one thing fraternities are actually good for? Networking. You’ve just spent X number of years establishing relationships with people from all over the country. Those people are your best bet at making it in the world. You’re gonna need a job now and I guarantee one your military buddies has a family member looking for an employee who know what responsibility looks like, who can show up on time, and get the job done right, regardless of the raging hang over caused by binge drinking until 4AM. Bottom line, stay in contact with your buddies."

5. Tyler Gately, U.S. Army 2004-2009, Press Secretary, Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America

"Come to the realization that when you get out of the military you are starting over professionally. The truth is that your military skills will likely not transfer to a civilian career. Research careers you are interested in and read about how other people got there. Maximize your benefits and intern as much as you can. Internships are the easiest and quickest way to learn what your passion is and more importantly, what it is not."

6. Brent Ebell, U.S. Army 2001-2007, Professional Cameraman

"Use your past as fuel. Remember all the pain, suffering, humiliation, freezing weather, blistering heat, spit flying in your face as someone screams the most degrading shit at you. Use all of it because people will inevitably doubt you. You will hear phrases like, 'that's impossible.' 'Can't be done.' Or 'those are pipe dreams.' All you have to do is look back at what you've already survived and overcome. Whenever someone doubts you, look him or her in the eyes and smile, but just think to yourself, ‘Fuck you!'"

7. Glenn Ness, U.S. Army 2004-2015, Student

"Try to get up to college level before you get out so that you aren’t wasting the GI Bill on menial classes. If you know that you are shooting for a high-credit degree, try to pay out of pocket as long as you can before tapping into the GI Bill because a community college now is going to be cheaper than a university in 4 years. Also, stay away from predatory schools. Some for-profit universities design their programs to squeeze every bit of money out of your GI Bill."

Guess what, you just served in the most cohesive fraternity in the world. You know the one thing fraternities are actually good for? Networking.

8. Nick Palmisciano, U.S. Army 1994-2003, CEO of Ranger Up

"You know how you look at guys who were high school athletes and all they do is relive those days forever because that’s as good as it ever was for them? Don’t be that guy with your military service. Just like high school athletics should be a stepping stone to greater successes, so should you think of your service. It made you stronger, taught you valuable life lessons, and helped you hone your character. So take that wisdom and find a new mission and get after it, knowing it may suck at first the way basic training did. Your life should always be leaning forward, never anchored to the past. When you lean forward, no matter how hard a year is, at the end of it, you’re a tougher, better, more skilled person than you were before. When you spend all your time looking back, the world keeps changing and you remain still, slowly becoming less useful with each passing moment."

9. Shannon L. Adams, U.S. Air Force, IAVA Michigan Community Leader

"Find a mentor to help you with the transition that’s recently been there themselves. This can be achieved through your IAVA [Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America] network or a Veteran service organization. We all learned from others’ experiences while in the service, we accepted advice from our peers, our leadership and learned in professional environments (training) to overcome obstacles, to get promoted and to dust ourselves off when we stumbled. Don’t try and do it alone!"

Just like high school athletics should be a stepping stone to greater successes, so should you think of your service. It made you stronger, taught you valuable life lessons, and helped you hone your character. So take that wisdom and find a new mission and get after it.

10. Vincent “Rocco” Vargas, U.S. Army 2003-2007, Army Reserves 2007-Present, COO of Article 15 Clothing

"I have two things that really drive me. One is my family. I always imagine them watching me walk across some imaginary stage receiving an award of some sort and just seeing the proud look on their faces….It’s easy to justify giving up to yourself, but when you have to justify failure to your kids, or your father…that’s always more difficult. That thought has gotten me through some of my hardest days in training and in hardship.

I know the only way of making that thought a reality is to work hard toward a goal. Which brings me to my second driving factor….I like to give myself small goals or missions if you will. Once getting out of the military, I felt there was no real direction. I wanted to do something with myself, but unlike some achievements in the military, there is no prebuilt path. So I created these missions and strive every day to achieve them. Something as simple as being a more affectionate dad to something as difficult as getting back in shape. I continue to hold myself accountable for my self-improvement.

By the end of the year I should have, hopefully, become a better person, husband, and father by accomplishing these small missions. This has given me motivation to wake up the next day and keep grinding. Setting these smaller step goals and holding myself accountable to be the man I want to be for my family."

11. Jarred Taylor, U.S. Air Force 2003-present, President of Article 15 Clothing

"There is no magical career path where you don’t have to put in hard work. Yes the circumstances and definition of 'hard' change outside the military, but don’t for one second think it gets easier once your out. Focus that 'never quit' and 'don’t have the option to quit' attitude when pursuing a civilian career and you will quickly see yourself rise above your peers. Because those that only know an environment where if they don’t like something they can just 'quit' don’t have the same drive a military person has." TC mark