Thought Catalog


Fuck Changing Yourself

Posted: 09 Mar 2016 08:00 PM PST

Twenty20, ana_lombardini
Twenty20, ana_lombardini

I have tried to change how I look, since my ballet teacher kicked me out of class because I was too fat.

I have tried to change how much I can produce when in Business School, and tried the play hard and party hard lifestyle, just to end up on probation and almost kicked out.

I have fallen on my face, trying to change myself when I was in a relationship, so I stop coming across as too emotional.

I have promised to change myself to my mother, my neighbor and the boss I never respected.

I have written about ways to change myself every goddamn new year resolution.

I have even bought online and offline programs that will help me change myself into a morning person, a runner, a chill-ass girlfriend every man and woman wants to marry, an on time professional, you name it.

I have read your stupid lists on Medium on what to change to be happier, more productive, more successful, more like this medium imaginary hero that does not exist.

Guess what? I did not change.

Maybe I did change for a day or a week.

But over the long term, what really happened is that I grew more frustrated with myself, with life, with humans and even with dogs and cats.

I became angry, bitter, sour.

Here is the deal.

I STOPPED WANTING TO CHANGE MYSELF.

Instead I began becoming more myself.

I began shedding all the layers of bullshit that I have accumulated through my 30 years that are NOT mine.

I began melting all the walls of expectations that I have constructed because I thought I was not perfect for you teacher, boss, investor, mister.

I finally embraced the artist in me that has been yelling for attention.

The wild woman that wants to speak her truth no matter what they say.

The human that wants to cry about life's miseries and fall in love with life's secrets and treasures.

I accepted that I will not run marathons, or have a zero argument relationship, that I will not have my shit together 50% of the time.

I let go of the need to be successful on paper, have a family and kids by a certain age, fit in America where I live or Lebanon where I come from.

AND THEN MAGIC HAPPENED.

I started working out 5 days a week, I even ran TWO legitimate miles (with hills and everything).

I started saying no more, which meant, no more overbooking myself and instead showing up on time.

I wrote like there is no tomorrow. I wrote poetry every day. Because I stopped working my ass off to be on a page of some stupid magazine that no one reads beyond its title. My poetry and writing got published, only when I stopped caring if I would.

I am doing all the things that I said I wanted to do when I meet that life partner, ALONE. Because it does not matter.

(PS: where the hell are you life partner?)

Listen.

You have so much potential within you. So many gifts, it will blow your mind.

SO stop land filling your soul. Stop overcrowding your genius.

Get naked with yourself. Look at your nakedness in the mirror.

This is it.

Be naked. Live naked. Thrive naked. Fly naked.

We all love you more when you are naked. TC mark

The Warning Label Each Myers-Briggs Personality Type Should Come With

Posted: 09 Mar 2016 07:00 PM PST

Dmitry Ratushny
Dmitry Ratushny

ENFP: May spontaneously up and move to Antarctica moments after making a serious commitment to you because they saw a picture of a penguin online that looked cute.

ENTP: May delve deeply and intensely into your psyche, make you question everything you thought you knew about yourself and then completely disappear without notice.

INFJ: May be using their warm, cheerful persona to mask a cold and calculating interior.

ESFJ: May secretly expect you to return the ten hundred thousand favors they have done for you, even though they claimed they don't want anything in return.

ESTJ: May lecture you incessantly about anything you do that is even remotely illogical.

INFP: May be ten hundred thousand times more twisted and deranged in their thinking than their innocent demeanor would lead you to believe.

ESFP: May appear to be significantly more invested in your relationship than you are, while actually being significantly less invested in it than you are.

INTP: May fact check literally everything you say and catch you in any attempt at a lie or exaggeration.

ENFJ: May casually get you to confess your deepest, darkest childhood secrets over coffee and then use them against you if you ever seriously cross them.

ENTJ: May completely rearrange your habits, routines and long-term plans as they see fit and them and then make you think it was your idea.

ESTP: May literally charm the pants off you.

ISFP: May completely disappear into the woodwork, never to be seen again, the minute they feel pressured or intimidated by you.

INTJ: May lead you into various conversational traps through which you have no choice but to admit that your logic is flawed.

ISFJ: May secretly resent you for years without you ever remotely suspecting it.

ISTP: May flake off on a solo adventure for weeks at a time without making any contact to loved ones or the outside world.

ISTJ: May accidentally make you feel like shit about yourself because they basically lack moral vices of any kind. TC mark

It’s Time To Tell Your Impostor Syndrome To Suck It

Posted: 09 Mar 2016 06:00 PM PST

Brian Oldham
Brian Oldham

It’s time to ignore your impostor syndrome. Why now? Because it’s never going to go away, so you might as well learn how to tell your brain to shut up before you move higher up the ladder, whatever your ladder is. Even when you experience continual success, even when you get that job, or that call-back, or that award, or that acceptance letter into the school of your dreams – every cell in your body will dance with pure lightness, for one glorifying minute, until your brain steps in and decides to question whether or not you actually deserved any this.

It’s time to ignore your impostor syndrome. Because your brain is just going to trick you into thinking it’s humility, or self-awareness, or lack of vanity. Your brain will try to distract you by reminding you that success only comes to those who are most deserving, those who have worked the hardest and poured out the most sweat, blood, and tears. But you’re smart. You know the difference between something you worked very hard for and very clearly deserved, and something you just wanted without putting in any effort. You know what you’ve bled for, you know what you’ve perspired over. And there’s a lot of things you worked very, very hard for, things that your brain is still trying to convince you that you don’t deserve.

It’s time to ignore your impostor syndrome. Because no matter how far or how fast you run, you can’t leave that part of your brain behind. It’s part of our human nature, to chase obsessively after that which we desperately want, and then to convince ourselves it’s too good to be true the moment that we have it in our hands. We’re used to wanting, not having. We don’t know what to do once we have something in our grasp. We don’t know how to stop running.

It’s time to ignore your impostor syndrome. Because it’s time you realized that no one is immune to impostor syndrome. Not Tina Fey, Oprah Winfrey, Barack Obama, Derrick Rose, Mindy Kaling. Sure, their work ethic set them apart. Their tenacity and dedication and intelligence got them to the top of their ladders. But the other thing that set these people apart is that they learned how to keep playing, keep fighting, keep creating – despite feeling like they were here by accident, despite questioning their worthiness. They kept doing, despite their impostor syndrome.

It’s time to ignore your impostor syndrome. You’re human, so no matter how hard you try to convince yourself otherwise, you were born with it. Maybe yours is worse than that of others. But there’s a lot of people whose impostor syndrome is worse than yours and who are shining anyway. Our brains are amazing for a lot of reasons. But there’s also a part of our brains that will destroy us if we don’t learn how to control it, and this is one of those parts.

It’s time to ignore your impostor syndrome. Because you’ve lost too much blood, sweat, and tears to be able to truly convince yourself that you’re not exactly where you’re meant to be. TC mark

51 Beautiful But Unusual Ways To Express Just How Much You Need The Person You Love

Posted: 09 Mar 2016 05:00 PM PST

Twenty20, sarahjeanrecker
Twenty20, sarahjeanrecker

1. I need you like a rooster needs the break of dawn.

2. I need you like money needs greed.

3. I need you like a phone that’s dropped on its face needs a protective case.

4. I need you like a narcissist needs himself.

5. I need you like ambition needs discipline.

6. I need you like a diamond needs the myth of its value.

7. I need you like glue needs something to stick to.

8. I need you like a psychic needs gullibility.

9. I need you like a pillar needs something to hold up.

10. I need you like a horoscope needs the zodiac.

11. I need you like hot chocolate needs cold weather.

12. I need you like a fraction needs the whole.

13. I need you like an introvert needs their own head.

14. I need you like an extrovert needs other people.

15. I need you like a goal needs willpower.

16. I need you like infinity needs no end.

17. I need you like a jerk needs someone to pick on.

18. I need you like a wand needs a magic trick.

19. I need you like everyone’s ego needs a beatdown.

20. I need you like a donut needs a hole.

21. I need you like an internet addict needs WiFi.

22. I need you like the devil needs your soul.

23. I need you like a blockbuster needs you to suspend disbelief.

24. I need you like the earth needs an end to global warming.

25. I need you like a parent needs patience.

26. I need you like a pop star needs fans.

27. I need you like a book needs at least one reader.

28. I need you like a heart needs a regular pulse.

29. I need you like a candle needs its wick.

30. I need you like a teddy bear needs stuffing.

31. I need you like Donald Trump needs morons.

32. I need you like Kim Kardashian needs her ass.

33. I need you like Taylor Swift needs a broken heart.

34. I need you like great art needs inspiration.

35. I need you like a tissue needs a sneeze.

36. I need you like a plate needs a meal.

37. I need you like an avocado needs artisanal toast.

38. I need you like TV needs old people.

39. I need you like a supermodel needs thin to be in.

40. I need you like an athlete needs motivation.

41. I need you like a self-help guru needs widespread discontent.

42. I need you like a fad diet needs temporary allegiance.

43. I need you like a salesman needs bullshit.

44. I need you like history needs you to remember.

45. I need you like a crisis needs anything but panic.

46. I need you like a fairy needs a tale.

47. I need you like a shower needs filth.

48. I need you like a riddle needs an answer.

49. I need you like a joke needs a punchline.

50. I need you like love needs trust.

51. I need you like I can only hope you need me too. TC mark

5 Unhealthy Resentments You Might Have Towards An Ex That You Need To Let Go Of In Order To Move On

Posted: 09 Mar 2016 04:00 PM PST

Thought.is
Thought.is

1. Why they hurt you.

Stop asking why they hurt you, and think more about what you learned when they did, and not just what you learned about him or her, but about yourself. It’s extremely difficult to fully understand why someone would hurt you, and it won’t necessarily bring you the form of clarity you’re looking for if you ever do, but if you think more about the growth that results from heartbreak, you’ll have a better understanding of the pain that comes with it.

2. If they’re (un)happy without you.

We don’t all sincerely wish our exes well, but your happiness is more important than their’s, especially when you’re no longer together. Figure out how to make yourself happy with or without them, and you’ll slowly start to realize that whether they’re happy without you doesn’t matter all that much. It shouldn’t be a competition as to who can cope with the breakup better: who is happier, who is more successful, who has gotten laid more, stop worrying about your ex, and start living your life. Be happy because you want to be, be successful because you won’t settle for anything less, and get laid because you are horny. Give yourself everything you want because YOU want it, not to show your ex that you’re capable of living without them.

3. Who they love instead of you.

Stop stalking your ex’s new fling on instagram. Don’t read the “waking up with BAE” captions, don’t dissect every part of her body and compare it to yours, don’t compare yourself to her in any way. Accept that you both have at least two things in common, you both love(d) the same person, and you both are human. There will be thoughts of insecurity, what she has that you don’t, but she most likely questions these same things about you, whether or not she gives him everything you used to and more. And the truth is she’ll never be able to give your ex the same type of love that you did, and that doesn’t have to give you some type of resentful satisfaction, because he didn’t want the love that you were willing to give, but you’ll find someone else to give it to that will appreciate it in all the right ways.

4. Why they stopped loving you.

Was it you or them? Was it something you did, something you didn’t? You could spend the rest of your life waiting for answers to these questions, and never know whether the answers are true, or you can accept the fact that the relationship is over and so is the love that was shared within it. No one said it would be easy, but incessantly questioning why love didn’t last will only prevent you from finding love that will.

5. Whether or not they’d give you another chance.

Sometimes we think that certain things are meant to be, which sometimes causes us to deny when certain things aren’t. You’ll never know whether or not you’re with the ‘right’ person, on the ‘right’ path, or even headed in the ‘right’ direction. There’s the person we are with, the path we are on, and the direction we are headed, and the way you form your understanding of everything that happens in your life in this current moment will affect the way you live it. Don’t try to convince someone to love you, be with someone who just does. TC mark

Trump Watch, March 9th, 2016

Posted: 09 Mar 2016 03:33 PM PST

Screen Shot 2016-03-07 at 7.30.20 PM

Trump attacked the Club for Growth today saying “Phony Club For Growth tried to shake me down for one million dollars, & is now putting out nasty negative ads on me. They are total losers!” I’m not sure why he bothered talking about a phony club. I mean, if it’s not real then what’s the point? Just mark them spam and move on.

Trump didn’t sweep all four states yesterday like everyone said he would. Ted Cruz won in Idaho. Donald seemed to take it pretty well and had Trump wine and Trump steak at his victory afterparty last night. He apparently has a palatial 600 acre setup on the Potomac River in Virginia where the grapes are grown for Trump wine.

Not at all the Trump vineyards
Not at all the Trump vineyards

He offered all the reporters free wine. I mean he ended up yelling at one reporter but he still offered him free wine. I don’t know if Trump had been drinking or if the reporter had but there was wine available. You could see it right behind him.

At one point he was really nice though and complimented a different reporter for being beautiful and so politically correct.

https://youtu.be/OBcL2GKkvSg?t=1h10m56s

So, all in all I think he was nice to everyone.

He did seem a little tired. He’s such a dynamo that it’s hard to tell but to me the area around his eyes seemed a little whiter than usual. Still, at the end of his speech he asked all the other Republican candidates to drop out so everyone could unite behind his campaign so I guess he wasn’t that tired.

The 10,001st Republican debate is tomorrow which is really great because they’ve all been very informative I think and really varied in the topics.

March 8th, 2016

Donald was mad at Mitt and Lindsey again today. He tweeted that they’re both losers and that Lindsey was a drop out. He says it’s all very sad.

Today Mississippi, Hawaii, Michigan, and Idaho all report to the polls to decide whether they want to bring back Christmas or see it become another also-ran holiday like the Winter Solstice. Last night Trump promised Mississippians he’d save Christmas like Jason Alexander in that awful 2002 movie. The War on Christmas just seems to start earlier every year. Maybe Trump can stop that from happening.

He also released four videos, one for each state, with Ivanka asking people to get out and vote. Ivanka is very pretty. I really think all those years running the Miss America pageant put Donald in touch with what Americans really care about. The videos reflect that I think. Complex stuff, honestly.

Looking at the polls, the predicted simultaneous loss of all four states to The Donald tonight may cause the Earth to shake. I’m expecting tremors.

March 7th, 2016

Donald Trump made fun of Marco Rubio today in a new ad. He said Rubio had been ripping the government and the Republican Party off through double billing and unapproved driveway construction. He also says Rubio is a lazy Senator who hardly ever shows up for his job. Then, after all that, he tweeted out that Rubio is a low energy guy, a stab at the man’s virility after Rubio said Trump had “small hands” and Donald had to go on tv and defend the size of his manhood.

Somebody else on Twitter said that the video shows a picture of the House instead of the Senate which is probably a little embarrassing.

Donald also made a video today about Trump University and showed a bunch of hand-written reviews from people. He cited the Better Business Bureau and seemed really serious about it and a little hurt that people might have gotten the wrong idea.

Tonight at 7pm he’s doing a rally at Madison County School District in Madison, Mississippi. He’s got five planned for the month. The guy’s doing a lot of traveling, it seems. TC mark

I Thought I Was An Atheist Before I Started Writing My Vows To You

Posted: 09 Mar 2016 03:15 PM PST

Originalbild unter: http://tr-hochzeitsfotografie.fotograf.de/photo/56d6feb8-5c88-4b8a-9b53-33270ac5521c
Torben Röhricht

I was an atheist before I met you.
Kneeling on bar stools for church,
lighting candles for everyone
but myself, praying for something
I didn't believe in.

Now I am searching for God
between the dips of your shoulders.
I am finding heaven
between the folds of your skin.

Baby, I am a fool for the hitch in your breath.
I am a fool for the back of your knees.

Here is the rest of my life stretched six-feet over my bedsheets
and his laugh sounds like angels fucking on a cloud
and he smells like sunlight after a long, night's sleep
and when we kiss it is the sky on fire.

Shit, have my stupid poetry, have my palms, forgive me
for taking it so long to find you.
How long have you waited for this miracle?

How many times have you worshipped
my hips without them swaying?
How many times have I fucked up
with you following me still?

I am a fool for he who sees the goddess in me.
So there you are. The man who will die for my sins
before I have even committed them.

And here, here, beneath your ribs
is where I have finally learned
to believe. TC mark

10 Lessons On Love & Survival For My Future Daughter

Posted: 09 Mar 2016 03:00 PM PST

Rose Photography
Rose Photography

Listen child, the world is not an easy place to live in. Hard work is not always rewarded. Sometimes you will meet a person who you will love deeply and then lose them for a plethora of reasons. Sometimes you find yourself at the losing end of a cruel fight when it wasn't even your fault that it started. What I am trying to say is, one day you are going to get hurt and I will not be there to protect you. The best gift any mother can give her daughter is the armour of wisdom and lightness to guide them through their journey. And here, I give my best words, my best weapons to you.

1. Not every love you receive is the kind of love that is good for you. You need to recognise that some people may love you but are toxic in the way they try to hold onto you, hide you from the world, do not allow you to be yourself and take from you the very thing that matters most. Your freedom. Do not allow someone to take your freedom from you. Under any circumstances.

2. Stop trying so hard, all day every day for the people who do not care. Save all that effort for the ones who appreciate you with every fibre inside their beings. Those people exist. And they are much harder to find than those that take you for granted, but believe me, they are worth the journey.

3. Sometimes the people you love most in the world are going to hurt you and this can make you feel like the world is closing in, that everything is falling apart and you cannot stop it. Do not let yourself be swept in that tidal wave of pain. Let the pain make you stronger, do not allow it to break you down.

4. Every single person you meet has secrets and sadness that you know nothing about. They may seem happy, but remember how good people can be at hiding their pain. Always remember that before you open your mouth to be cruel or unkind in any way.

5. Be an explorer. And I don't mean in the sense of travel. I mean in experiences. In feelings. In truths. Always find yourself on a journey to becoming better and stronger. And that is the best way you will ever find yourself if you ever lose your way in the labyrinth you have created in your own head.

6. Be kind to the people who you know really love you. It is easy to know when someone really loves you. They let you know in little ways that can sometimes be easy to take for granted. Call them. Let them know you are thinking of them. Do something kind for them. It doesn't take a lot to be kind. Just try to do your best to be tender with the people you love.

7. If they try to change you into something they need, then they have never been worth your time in the first place. Stop trying to change all the things that make you uniquely you for someone who wants you but only when you are the version of you that they like best, that they can mould.

8. Never force someone to love you. Do not threaten, do not cajole, do not manipulate anyone into staying if they have decided to leave you. That person will never respect you if they stay and you will both end up unhappy with the kind of love that you have received.

9. Every tragedy that ever comes your way is going to make the happiest moments of your life worth every second and you will appreciate it so much more. Tragedies show you how dark life can be, but true happiness makes all that pain worth it so much more.

10. When you feel like giving up, close your eyes and picture all the people who love you and want you to succeed. Now, I want you to think of all the people who have put you down, told you that you will never amount to anything, all the people you need to prove wrong. Now get back up, and fight. TC mark

7 Ways To Be Happy Right Now

Posted: 09 Mar 2016 02:15 PM PST

71Y4H1fJ1sL

“For there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” —Shakespeare

Let's start off with some bad news. The happiness model we're taught from a young age is actually completely backward.

We think we work hard in order to achieve big success and then we're happy.

We think life goes like this:

Great work → Big Success → Be Happy
Study hard! → Straight A's! → Be happy!
Interview lots! → Great job! → Be happy!
Work overtime! → Get promoted! → Be happy!

But it doesn't work like that in real life. That model is broken. We do great work, have a big success, but instead of being happy, we just set new goals. Now we study for the next job, the next degree, the next promotion. Why stop at a college degree when you can get a master's? Why stop at Director when you can be VP? Why stop at one house when you can have two? We never get to happiness. It keeps getting pushed further and further away.

What happens when we snap "Be happy" off the end of this sequence and stick it on the beginning? Then these words look like this:

Be Happy → Great work → Big Success

Now everything changes. Everything changes. If we start with being happy, then we feel great. We look great. We exercise. We connect. What happens? We end up doing great work because we feel great doing it. What does great work lead to? Big success. Massive feelings of accomplishment and the resulting degrees, promotions, and phone calls from your mom telling you she's proud of you.

Harvard Business Review reports that happy people are 31% more productive, have 37% higher sales, and are three times more creative than their counterparts.

So what's the first thing you must do before you can be happy?

Be happy.

Be happy first. Being happy opens up your learning centers. Your brain will light up like Manhattan skyscrapers at dusk, sparkle like diamonds under jewelry store lights, glow like the stars in the black sky above a farmer's field.

But how do you be happy first? We need to look to the emerging field of positive psychology. What's that? It's not fluffy lollipop experiments. Professors of psychology Martin Seligman and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi are called the fathers of positive psychology because of their passion for cold hard facts. As they put it themselves in American Psychologist:

"Psychology is not just a branch of medicine concerned with illness or health; it is much larger. It is about work, education, insight, love, growth, and play. And in this quest for what is best, positive psychology does not rely on wishful thinking, faith, self-deception, fads, or hand-waving; it tries to adapt what is best in the scientific method to the unique problems that human behavior presents to those who wish to understand it in all its complexity."

Positive psychology is a new and growing field. I have sifted through hundreds of studies to find the Big 7 ways to train your brain to be happy. Many of these studies have been discussed in journals, conference keynotes, and research reports, but I've brought them together for you here.

If you do any of these seven things for two straight weeks, you will feel happier.

So what are the Big 7?

1. Three Walks

Pennsylvania State researchers reported in the Journal of Sport & Exercise Psychology that the more physically active people are, the  greater their general feelings of excitement and enthusiasm. Researcher Amanda Hyde reports, "We found that people who are more physically active have more pleasant-activated feelings than people who are less active, and we also found that people have more pleasant-activated feelings on days when they are more physically active than usual." It doesn't take much: half an hour of brisk walking three times a week improves happiness. The American Psychosomatic Society published a study showing how Michael Babyak and a team of doctors found that three thirty-minute brisk walks or jogs even improve recovery from clinical depression. Yes, clinical depression. Results were stronger than studies using medication or studies using exercise and medication combined.

2. The 20-Minute Replay

Writing for twenty minutes about a positive experience dramatically improves happiness. Why? Because you actually relive the experience as you're writing it and then relive it every time you read it. Your brain sends you back. In a University of Texas study called "How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count the Words," researchers Richard Slatcher and James Pennebaker had one member of a couple write about their relationship for twenty minutes three times a day. Compared to the test group, the couple was more likely to engage in intimate dialogue afterward and the relationship was  more likely to last. What does the 20-Minute Replay do? It helps us remember things we like about people and experiences in our lives.

3. Random Acts of Kindness

Carrying out five random acts of kindness a week dramatically improves your happiness. We don't naturally think about paying for someone's coffee, mowing your neighbor's lawn, or writing a thank you note to your apartment building security guard at Christmas. But Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of The How of Happiness, did a study asking Stanford students to perform five random acts of kindness over a week. Not surprisingly, they reported much higher happiness levels than the test group. Why? They felt good about themselves! People appreciated them. In his book Flourish, Professor Martin Seligman says that "we scientists have found that doing a kindness produces the single most reliable momentary increase in well-being of any exercise we have tested."

4. A Complete Unplug

"The richest, happiest and most productive lives are characterized by the ability to fully engage in the challenge at hand, but also to disengage periodically and seek renewal," say Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz in The Power of Full Engagement. And a Kansas State University study found that complete downtime after work helps us recharge for the next day. Turning your phone off after dinner. Not using the Internet on vacation. There's a lot more to this, and we're going to chat about it in Secret #6. If you can't wait, flip to page TK.

5. Hit Flow

Get into a groove. Be in the zone. Find your flow. However you characterize it, when you're completely absorbed with what you're doing it means you're being challenged and demonstrating skill at the same time. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi describes this moment as "being completely involved in an activity for its own sake. The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz. Your whole being is involved, and you're using your skills to the utmost."

6. 2-Minute Meditations

A research team from Massachusetts General Hospital looked at brain scans of people before and after they participated in a course on mindfulness meditation and published the results in Psychiatry Research. What happened? After the course, parts of the brain associated with compassion and self-awareness grew while parts associated with stress shrank. Studies reported that meditation can "permanently rewire" your brain to raise levels of happiness.

7. Five Gratitudes

If you can be happy with simple things, then it will be simple to be happy. Find a book or a journal, or start a website, and write down three to five things you're grateful for from the past week. I wrote five a week on 1000awesomethings.com. Some people write in a notebook by their bedside. Back in 2003, researchers Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough asked groups of students to write down five gratitudes, five hassles, or five events that happened over the past week for ten straight weeks. Guess what happened? The students who wrote five gratitudes were happier and physically healthier. Charles Dickens puts this well: "Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has many, not your past misfortunes, of which all men have some."

* * *

Those are the Big 7. You know it's important to be happy first, and these are the seven ways to get there. Remember: Just like driving a car, throwing a football, or doing a headstand—you can learn to be happier. TC mark

17 Truths That Are Only Relatable If You Have A Long-Distance Best Friend

Posted: 09 Mar 2016 02:00 PM PST

Neill Kumar
Neill Kumar

1. You communicate constantly, but nothing can quite articulate the giddiness you feel when you finally see each other in person for the first time in what feels like forever.

2. But really, you text them your stream of consciousness on a daily basis because you know they'll do the same to you and they’ll always respond.

3. You feel comfortable enough expressing to them a deep and passionate longing for the both of you to be together in the same city—whether that's through the form of liking all of their photos on Facebook or texting them a needy "I MISS YOU.”

4. This feeling of longing is amplified even more when you live in different time zones. You feel like you're worlds away.

5. And when you do manage to coordinate schedules and see each other, that time is strictly set aside for just the two of you.

6. Seriously, you feel an inner wrath from the deepest depths of your soul bursting out of you when some idiot wants to tag along and third wheel the reunion.

7. You would blow off your sister's second wedding if your long-distance friend was in town for just that day.

8. The best part of seeing them is transitioning from the initial catch up and pleasantries into hours-long, in-depth conversations about what's really been going on since you last saw each other. And what's even more awesome is that because you two communicate so frequently, there's no need to go into lengthy explanations about who's who and what's-her-name. You know everything.

9. Their presence allows you to finally voice those weird and personal thoughts that you never tell anyone else.

10. The longer you hang out with them, the more reminded you are of how mediocre some of your geographically-convenient friends are. Long-distance friendships require a special type of bond that just doesn't exist in every single relationship you have.

11. You would seriously walk through fire if it allowed you to do even the simplest, most mundane activities with your long-distance best friend. The thought of waking up in the morning and just texting them about grabbing a coffee later is so unfairly impossible.

12. You have looked into flights just because your best friend mentioned that someone was giving them a hard time at work or at school and you can barely control yourself from marching 3,000 miles away just to give this person the worst side-eye you can muster.

13. You're both aware that no serious romantic relationship could ever blossom without solid approval from one another.

14. Frankly, you sort of feel bad for any potential suitor, just because you would know every inappropriate and intimate detail about anything and everything they've ever done before you even get to meet them in person.

15. And any partner or local friends will find themselves surprised at “how similar you guys are!" when they see you two interacting.

16. Mostly because all of your inside jokes are conveyed through a certain look or by doing a certain voice. You have your own language.

17. Saying goodbye is the absolute worst. You forget how to enter back into society without them again, even though they were only visiting for 48 hours. TC mark