Thought Catalog


Little Red Riding Hood Addresses The Next Wolf

Posted: 15 Mar 2016 08:00 PM PDT

Jenavieve
Jenavieve

You hear the story
of the horrors done to my body,
and you say,
"We aren't all like that, you know.
Let me show you how gentle my hands are."

It's not your fault, you say,
that your teeth
are the same shape
as his teeth.

But I was swallowed whole
and they asked what I was wearing.

I was swallowed whole
and they said,
"That's what happens
to little girls who climb in bed with monsters."

There are mornings
when my own bedroom
looks exactly like the middle of the woods.

I'm not calling you dangerous.
I'm just making sure you understand the moral of the story.
This has nothing to do with the threat of strangers in the forest.
The moral of the story is,
I will gut you if I need to.
I will carve my way out
with only my teeth. TC mark

This post was originally published here.

47 Really Good Reasons To Thank The Person You Love Right This Second

Posted: 15 Mar 2016 07:00 PM PDT

Twenty20, nick_over_there
Twenty20, nick_over_there

1. Thank you for being alive.

2. Thank you for crossing paths with me.

3. Thank you for transforming ordinary activities into extraordinary experiences just by being there.

4. Thank you for every compliment you've given me at just the right time.

5. Thank you for bringing out the best in me almost always.

6. Thank you for tolerating me at my worst, on the tough days when I’m not all that nice or pleasant to be around.

7. Thank you for listening, even when I'm not really saying anything important.

8. Thank you for hearing me in a way I'm not even sure I can hear myself.

9. Thank you for laughing with me—and even at me sometimes.

10. Thank you for making me smile when I need to most.

11. Thank you for helping me understand and appreciate my own worth.

12. Thank you for teaching me the meaning of true love.

13. Thank you for showing me how much you care day in and day out.

14. Thank you for being patient with me when we’re not seeing eye to eye.

15. Thank you for encouraging me to be myself, flaws and all.

16. Thank you for helping me embrace my inner weirdness.

17. Thank you for entrusting me with your deepest secrets.

18. Thank you for being tender in your approach to honesty.

19. Thank you for pushing me to try harder at everything, including us.

20. Thank you for your undying loyalty.

21. Thank you for supporting me in every endeavor—except when you genuinely think I’m misguided, in which case thank you for steering me in a smarter direction.

22. Thank you for being my biggest cheerleader.

23. Thank you for being my truest fan.

24. Thank you for taking care of me when I'm sick and making me feel less gross than I really look while vomiting or blowing my nose.

25. Thank you for motivating me to take care of myself.

26. Thank you for being the reason I want to live a long life.

27. Thank you for being such a good influence on my mind and body.

28. Thank you for making me so much stronger.

29. Thank you for forgiving me that time [insert regrettable moment].

30. Thank you for demonstrating the power of true love.

31. Thank you for increasing the size of my heart.

32. Thank you for making me feel so comfortable.

33. Thank you for reshaping my idea of ‘home.’

33. Thank you for challenging me, even when I resist.

34. Thank you for caring sincerely about the details of my dullest days.

35. Thank you for giving me space when I need it.

36. Thank you for seeing the best in me, especially on the days that I can’t seem to.

37. Thank you for lifting me up when gloominess strikes.

38. Thank you for continuing to surprise me every time I think we’re long past the point of surprises.

38. Thank you for dreaming with me.

39. Thank you for adding so much color to my life.

40. Thank you for making things seem so possible.

41. Thank you for knowing me better than I know myself.

42. Thank you for agreeing to be on my team.

43. Thank you for keeping my best interests at heart.

44. Thank you for making everything more interesting.

45. Thank you for being able to move forward after we fight.

46. Thank you for never giving up on us.

47. Thank you for letting me in—and letting me love. TC mark

This Is How To Be Happy: 15 Things Truly Happy People Do Differently

Posted: 15 Mar 2016 06:00 PM PDT

iStockPhoto.com / Vgajic
iStockPhoto.com / Vgajic

1. They find healthy ways to cope with stress and anxiety.

Whether it's going for a walk, running, kick-boxing, writing, or simply meditating or listening to music. They find prolific outlets to cope with their sadness instead of drowning in a sea of self-sabotage and despair.

2. They are grateful for the things they have now.

They don't dwell on what they've lost or wait and wish for what they want. They simply enjoy what they have now, and they know how to make it enough for them to be happy.

3. They don't take life too seriously.

They laugh easily and try not to take things too personally. They know how to find joy in the simplest moments of life.

4. They don't hold grudges.

They forgive and forget, they try to live without any ill feelings, because they understand that this will only harm them. They sincerely let go of people who did them wrong, and forgive them even if they are not sorry.

5. They say yes more than no.

They have an open mind about trying new things and talking to different people. They are interested in experiencing life with all its glory. They are passionately curious and easygoing.

6. They pick happy friends.

They hang out with positive and happy people. They know that happiness is multiplied when its divided and the happier the people around them, the happier they will be.

7. They grieve differently.

They move on quickly, they do whatever needs to be done in the moment of grief to get over it as quickly as possible, and then they try to look for the other happy things that are going on in their lives and focus on that instead.

8. They love with all their heart.

They are not afraid to take the risk of being vulnerable or giving their all to someone. They take chances and give even more chances. They know that opening themselves up is the only way to find true love.

9. They are not too hard on themselves.

They don't beat themselves up over their mistakes or poor choices. They don't look back and say ‘I should've done that’ or ‘I shouldn't have said that.’ They accept the fact that they are human beings susceptible to making mistakes and wrong decisions and they bounce back quickly from any misfortune they face.

10. They find something to look forward to.

They always find something to look forward to, no matter what it is. They find something to keep them motivated, excited, and appreciative of life.

11. They are genuinely happy for others.

They don't envy people or get jealous of their success, they celebrate with them too. They know that their moment will come eventually and they want to see other people happy.

12. They don't compare.

They don't scroll down on social media and compare their lives to others. They strive for more while being happy with what they already have.

13. They embrace fear of the unknown.

They get comfortable with being a little uncomfortable. They keep a positive outlook on life and let the universe take care of the details.

14. They don't pay attention to what others think.

They don't focus on what people say about them or how they label them. They live their lives in a way that makes them truly happy and take no notice of the naysayers.

15. They choose to be happy.

Ultimately, happiness is a choice not a mood. Nothing will go right all the time, but happy people choose to stay happy. They choose to wake up every day and decide to be happy no matter which side of the bed they woke up on. TC mark

Read This When You Feel Undeserving Of Love

Posted: 15 Mar 2016 05:00 PM PDT

remembrance_life
remembrance_life

Most of us beg for love, one way or another. A mistake nearly everyone makes. We plead to our parents, to our friends, to our partners, and sometimes even to our dogs for affection. Piteous.

I am doubtful when it comes to the truth about love. All these years, I had to love them first before they could love me back. I have always thought that this is how love works—that it comes with a price; that the bill has to be paid first before someone can truly love you. Another misconception is that you have to ask, or most of the time, beg for it before you can have it.

I bet we have all been to the season of sleepless nights with empty bottles of beers and ashes of cigars. If not yet, then wait for it. We have all been in front of the mirror. We have all stared blankly at our reflection as we tried to wipe away the tears that welled up in our eyes, and we hate how they just won’t stop flowing when we want them to.

We have all asked ourselves the FAQs: What the hell is wrong with me? Why the hell am I not enough? We have all despised ourselves for being so stupid. Little did we know that it is not us, it is them. We do not deserve the people who made us doubt our worth. We do not deserve their love. If they sincerely loved us, they would not have done that. But they did. They destroyed us.

This is the kind of love that need not to look for. It will be the one to look for us because we are worth the search. This is the love that would give us eyes that see the good in everything.

We deserve someone who won't get sick of admiring the rose that we are, but is also courageous enough to embrace the thorns that come with it; someone who could get along with the worst version of ourselves that even we could not accept; someone who could open their eyes and look straight into our flaws; someone who won't give up just because the situation seems hopeless. We deserve the one who will make us stay no matter how stubborn we are, the one who would pull us back whenever we try to walk away. We deserve someone who would run after us before the movie ends. TC mark

This Is The Kind Of Woman I Promise To Be

Posted: 15 Mar 2016 04:00 PM PDT

marcobertoliphotograph
marcobertoliphotograph

I'm the type of woman who will love you, but only when I'm ready. I'm not the type of woman who will sit around and jump at the first person who shows interest in me. I'm not the type of woman to go out and look for love. I'm not the type of woman who will settle. I'm not the type of woman who fears being alone.

I'm the type of woman who will love whole-heartedly when I meet the right person. I'm the type of woman who will care for you, surprise you, treat you well and let you know how much you mean to me.

I'm the kind of woman who always wants to love deeper. I want to learn your strengths and weaknesses. I want to know your favorite way to spend Sunday afternoons and what you like to do in thunderstorms. I want to know about your childhood and how your past shaped you into who you are today.

But I'm also the woman who will stand up for myself, every time. I won't let you push me around. I won't let you walk all over me. I won't stand for being treated any less than I know I'm worth. I won't let you tell me what I can and cannot do.

I'm the kind of woman who hates anything and anyone that tries to control me or belittle me. I won't let you try to hide who I really am in front of your friends or your boss. I'm not the kind of woman to hide in the background. I'm not the kind of woman to sit back and watch you do all the work. I'm going to be next to you, I'm going to be sitting by your side. I want to be sitting by your side. I want to walk hand in hand with you through every step of the world.

I'm the kind of woman that will never make you question if I'll be there for you.

I'm also the kind of woman who will push you. Who will help you strive to be the best version of yourself, to live up to your full potential. I won't let you sit on the sideline and let life pass you by without getting in the game. I want you to know how strong you are, how great you are. I want you to love yourself like I will love you. I'm the kind of woman who will make you challenge yourself.

I'm the kind of woman who will always be as I am. I'm not the kind of woman who will change to please someone else. I'm not going to play dress up to make you happy; I will only do it if it makes me happy. I'm not the kind of woman to force a fake smile when something is eating me on the inside. I'm the kind of woman that will tell you and work through it with you.

Most importantly, I'm the type of woman who will love you with every fiber in me, but I won't put up with your shit. That's the kind of woman I am. TC mark

To All Young 20 Something Women, He Is Not (And Doesn’t Have To Be) Your Entire World

Posted: 15 Mar 2016 03:15 PM PDT

marcobertoliphotography
marcobertoliphotography

In your early 20's you should be living and breathing your youth. Put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others. Gain an understanding of your own emotional and psychological anatomy before nurturing someone else's. Discover who you truly are.

As women, we're often seduced by the notion of needing a man. Whether it is society's conditioning or our own desires, we're under the false assumption that we are incomplete without one. This is not the case. We are complete when we have a grasp of our world and understand ourself enough to know what we want from it. Yet somehow a woman who depends on someone else for her happiness is seen as superior.

It’s okay to be single, especially at this age. In fact, in my eyes, it’s preferred. This is the youngest you’re ever going to be. After you graduate, you have the freedom to travel or move to a new city without any emotional attachment to ground you – take advantage of that. Your purpose is somewhere out there, waiting to be discovered; and trust me when I say, he’s not it. Sure you can date, there’s value in learning how to be a good partner.

If you’re not studying abroad or applying for that internship in New York just because you can’t bare to be apart from him, you should reevaluate your priorities.

The best advice I can give is to build a sense of security on your own. Imagine each block is self-worth that is only sturdy if you cement it yourself. At this age, you are still assembling your foundation. What happens when you allow someone else to build you up? You're left with gaping holes if it doesn't work out and a yearning for a new significant other to fill the void.

Or worse yet, it comes crashing down like a piece of fruit picked from the bottom of the pile. And you're insecure again. But when your security is strong enough, only the respectful, the better suited will be let in. You'll know your self-worth and anyone who falls short will be turned away. TC mark

You Are More Than A Body

Posted: 15 Mar 2016 03:00 PM PDT

santiago_cervantes
santiago_cervantes

You are cells and synapses, fibers and fascia, brains and biceps.

You are the hands you have held, sweaty and delicate against the creases of your palms. You are the eyes that have made someone else fall in love.

You are the legs that have kicked and the toe nails that have been painted pink and orange and green. You are the strands of hair that fall into your face and you are the wrinkles below your eyelids.

You are the mountains you have climbed, the skinned knees your momma has bandaged, the runny noses you have wiped on the corner of your shirtsleeve, and the mouths you have kissed.

But you are so much more.

You are so much more than a body, created and capable, futile and flawed. You are more than the muscles that line your legs or the fat around your tummy. You are more than the calories burned or the bones that have been broken. You are more than the hands that have touched you, the lips that brushed your collarbone.

You have more to offer this world than your skin and your limbs. Who you are will never be solely defined by your body. You are so much more.

You are the thoughts you have created, the minds you have blessed. You are the feelings you have given others by your words and actions, by your presence.

You are the universes you've discovered in the turns and twists of your brain. You are the laughter, the voice that fills the air. You are the memories, the love you have shared, the happiness you have brought to life because of who you are.

This is not because of a body. This is because of a soul. Your soul.

You are more than a body. More than flesh and fingernails, creaks and creases, weight and wrinkles and imperfections that seem to stare back at you in the mirror.

You are more than what you see, even more than what the world sees sometimes. You are a light, an energy, a ray of sunshine. Sol. Soul. TC mark

Here Are All The Reasons Jojo Will Make A Way Better ‘Bachelorette’ Than Caila

Posted: 15 Mar 2016 02:13 PM PDT

Hi everyone! This ~dRaMatIc~ season of The Bachelor came to a close last night when boring Ben proposed to boring Lauren B after two hours of really boring conversations about lOvE. Bachelor finales are only good if it’s somewhat up in the air who is going to win and it’s been obvious to everyone watching for weeks that the only logical outcome of this season is a Lauren B win. So now they are engaged and she is moving to Denver or some shit.

It was sad to see a dude pick the simple girl, like always, and there was no better time for this Snapchat filter to be going around?

Screen Shot 2016-03-15 at 12.58.48 PM

But in the end, Ben is going to be very happy with her his fame.

Congrats, I guess. But if we are being honest, the real winner here is Jojo.

Not only does she not have to put up with Ben’s lame ass anymore, she gets to date 25 hot guys and grow her celebrity to the size where like, herbal teas will pay her to Instagram about how much she LOVES her tea time.

Here are all the reasons Jojo will be the best bachelorette we’ve seen in awhile:

Jojo WINS at her breakup with Ben

Ben and Lauren are supposed to be the star of the show, but all anyone wanted to talk about was how good Jojo look and how genuinely happy she seemed. Her attitude towards Ben is truly aspirational breakup chicness. Though, it doesn’t hurt that she knows she’s imminently on to bigger and better things:

Jojo as the bachelorette means an entire season of cute Jojo outfits we get to creep on

In case you haven’t noticed, girl has dope style:

Instagram Photo

And on her Instagram, she breaks down where you can buy some of her outfits:

Instagram Photo

Jojo’s mom is #goals

The Bachelor
The Bachelor

She is the older lady we all aspire to be.

We get to see more of the bash brothers

They are not the brothers we need, they are the brothers we deserve.

If there is a god in heaven, we will see a lot of Jojos dog

Instagram Photo

This dog is life.

Jojo and Becca have the cutest friendship ever

The Bachelor
The Bachelor

If Becca makes a guest appearance on next season, she might finally find a role on the show that suits her.

TBH the only bad thing about Jojo is that she once dated a guy named ‘Chad’.

Instagram Photo

Yikes.

The new season starts on May 23rd. See you then! TC mark

30 Signs You Were Born A Badass Risk Taker

Posted: 15 Mar 2016 02:00 PM PDT

Pexels
Pexels

While we often discuss risk-taking as a trait, some intrinsic part of an individual's personality, risk-taking is actually a process. The process of deciding whether or not to engage in a behavior that has a significant probability of resulting in a negative outcome. And you know what? Negative outcomes are a possibility in any situation: whether you are going all in on a poker bluff or just trying to hide from your boss in the break room. Below are 30 signs that you were born a natural risk-taker.

1. You've jumped out of a perfectly good airplane.

2. You're not all that comfortable even jumping off a curb.

3. You disagreed with your boss during an important meeting.

4. You kept quiet when your supervisor made an error and blamed it on you.

5. You always choose dare in Truth or Dare games. Always.

6. Truth answers are just more interesting, don't you think?

7. You don't immediately change the empty toilet paper roll after using it all up.

8. You bought a special basket to put next to the toilet so extra rolls would always be immediately at hand.

9. You never drive the speed limit.

10. You prefer to let other people drive.

The Art Of Risk
The Art Of Risk

11. You possess the most extensive sun hat collection this side of the Mississippi.

12. You don't even own sunscreen.

13. You've participated in an act of civil disobedience.

14. You've watched acts of civil disobedience on Fox News.

15. You forgot to DVR the latest episode of "How to Get Away with Murder."

16. You always clear your schedule on Thursday nights so you never miss your favorite show.

17. You've dated more than one person at a time—and even managed to get them all together one for a truly unforgettable night.

18. You are a strict monogamist.

19. You possess a unique gene variant, the DRD4 7R+ variant, which makes your brain more prone to impulsivity and risky behaviors.

20. You refuse to be genotyped for fear of learning you have an increased risk for some terrible disease.

21. You save at least 10% of each paycheck for retirement.

22. Retirement? That's decades away. You'll figure out the money stuff when you get there.

23. You are really into kink.

24. You think vanilla is a perfectly respectable flavor, thank you very much.

25. You just quit your job to travel for the next year.

26. You just renewed your subscription to "Travel & Leisure."

27. You are the person who knows how to gets things done at work.

28. You have the number of the person who knows how to get things done at work on your phone's speed dial.

29. You've been arrested. Maybe even more than once.

30. You are the person your friends call to bail them out of jail. One, because they know you have money saved. And, two, you are known for being home by 10:00pm on Saturday nights.

The truth is, no matter which statement best described you on this list, you are a risk-taker. Yes, you. And even you! While some of us may have a unique biological predisposition that pushes us to run more with life's uncertainties, there are a variety of other factors that help us decide when to push the envelope and when to run for cover. But to understand how to be a better risk-taker in life—how to make smarter, more informed decisions when faced with risk—the first step is to understand that we are all risk-takers, at least to some extent. And we all deal with uncertainty and the potential for negative outcomes in each decision we make, each and every day. TC mark

“The Art Of Risk: The New Science Of Courage, Caution, and Chance” is now available for sale.

Read This If You Are Tired Of Society’s Bullshit Expectations About Body Weight

Posted: 15 Mar 2016 01:00 PM PDT

Scott Webb
Scott Webb

Since I was a child, authority figures have consistently told me that being "thin" is good, and that being fat was "ugly" and "unhealthy". I remember a conversation with a teacher I had when I was in pre-school. She asked me what my favorite part of the chicken was. I said that I liked the skin! She said to me, "No, that's bad. You'll get fat."

As I grew up, I wasn't really a sporty kid, so I developed a belly. Adults from my family constantly told me to exercise, which I understand is decent advice. It's never to early to begin taking care of your own health. Of course I ought to have been more active as a kid, but the way it got to me was: "When I was your age, I was much thinner. I felt good about myself and everyone liked it." To them, the reason I was chubbier was because I watched too much TV, or spent too much time sitting down and reading, or spent too much time on the computer. "When we were your age, children got out and played more." It was always my fault.

I've been on the border of overweight, and I've also been underweight. At either side, people have told me to be another. When I was chubbier, people told me to lose weight. When I was underweight, people told me to eat more. There seems to be a small window that people want me to fit through, some kind of odd perfection that, genetically, I might never achieve. Pop-culture and people who have won the genetic lottery have told me in faux-inspirational speeches that I can transcend the God-given form of my worm-food body. They say all I need is a 14-day cereal diet. Or I should give up rice. Or I should probably not eat. And then when I'm too thin, I should eat more. "Here, have a whole cake. Your scrawny body can afford it."

When I was in high school, I developed apthous ulcers in my throat and tonsils, which made it difficult to eat or breathe. So, I used up all my stored baby fats and got extremely thin. Teachers were actually asking me if I was an adik (drug addict). And then in college, I slowly gained back my weight. After college, I went on TV and the camera added tons, so that wasn't particularly good. I distinctly remember this line, when they were introducing me: "Mapapakita kaya ni Carl na mas artistahin pa siya sa ibang mga lalaki?" ("Can Carl prove that he has more star-power than the other boys?") I'm aware of the limits of my body, but because I knew that I had something to show despite not being mestizo (fair-skinned), despite not having abs, despite not being totally camera-genic like the other boys, I pushed on. But it was a good wake-up call.

I'm not making excuses for not exercising. I'm not saying I shouldn't be more careful with the food I eat. In fact, the last time I had my cholesterol checked, it was too high that going on a diet wasn't going to cut it. I had to take pills every night. That was it, I thought. I've got to do something. I'm still young, and I would like to spend the rest of my life without the limits of a neglected body. I'm going to be with this hunk of meat for the rest of my life anyway, I might as well listen to it. Not for you, not for anyone else, not so that I fit the cookie-cutter version of what a human being should look like. I'm doing it for me, so that I could do more and live more.

I want to look good for me, and I will push the limits of my body because it is my body, and it is the way I interact with the world. I would like for it to be in top shape, because like a hammer or drill, if it works great, I will be able to do more things without quickly running out of breath. I am aware that being "healthier" affects my head, and that if I lack the proper nutrients, my mind won't be able to function properly. Hunger affects my moods, and I would rather feel good and well-fed than hungry but "thin". I heard of artistas (celebrities) who eat like a bird. I don't want to eat like a bird! I would rather eat like a human being, thanks very much! I will eat what I want! Screw the calorie count! As long as I'm healthy, why would I deprive myself of the occasional treat?

On the issue of health: while it may be true that heavier people face significant health risks, it's also true that they aren't the only ones facing health risks. We're all facing health risks everyday–all kinds of people. I've known of non-smokers who have gotten lung cancer and "thin" people who have died of heart disease. We will all die. Bodies wilt and rot. Exercising for the sake of vanity is futile. Botox injections and tubs of glutathione and liposuction will not make us immortal–though there's nothing wrong with wanting to look good for the sake of looking good. Go ahead. It's just that supermodels grow old and their skins sag. Maintaining youthful good looks would be easier as a preserved corpse, but living every day with a functioning, well-oiled, well-maintained machine of a body might be far more satisfying in the long run.

Who knows? I can only hope to keep this body in top working condition so that I can do other things before it becomes actual worm food. TC mark