Thought Catalog


I Said Yes To The Sex, But I Didn’t Say Yes To All Of It

Posted: 20 Mar 2016 08:00 PM PDT

Justin Wolfe
Justin Wolfe

These are the things you need to write about.

I am awake at 3 am picking at leftover scabs until they start to bleed. It’s clinical. I can’t stop until I see red. Probably more gross than metaphorical. I dig until new scars appear, new demons show up at the foot of the bed. I’m an archaeologist at work on my own body.

I just want to fucking sleep.

These are the things you need to write about.

She tells me this during a workshop. The stories we are most ashamed of, the ones we are afraid to understand, the things we’d prefer to bury altogether. We need to bring those to light. It’s the only way to ever lessen the load.

To, once again, feel light.

I didn’t even realize until many months after it happened. Somewhere between therapy appointments I missed and nights I killed a bottle of wine so insomnia wouldn’t keep making me her mistress. Somewhere between rationalizing what I shouldn’t have to and crying in my mother’s arms.

It began to crawl back up my throat.
It began to roughly press its fingers against my windpipe when no one asked it to.

Sex had always been such a gift in my life. I was in love, or lust, or like, but each time it had always been thoughtful. Mouths kissed me with trust, even if it was just for the night. Mouths kissed me like I was the one, even if we both knew I wasn’t. Mouths didn’t make assumptions. Never took it to mean my Yes was to everything. My Yes was conditional. I felt safe with those hands. Every pair.

Until the time I didn’t.

But I didn’t say No.

Because I had been so confused with my earlier Yes.

I didn’t know sex could take a turn. I didn’t know that something I ached for 15 minutes earlier could suddenly leave me unfamiliar with my own body. That a boy I had happily slept in bed with for multiple nights could hurt me like that.

Maybe I couldn’t say Stop because he took it upon himself to wrap both hands around my throat. Maybe I didn’t say No because I thought my Yes earlier meant I couldn’t change my mind.

These are the things you need to write about.

I write him a letter after we break up and I still don’t mention why I never again slept over at his place. I write him a letter after we break up to say I’ll miss him, and he’s an intelligent person. I tell him he will do something with this world. I want to let him off the hook. But I don’t think he ever even knew he was on it.

But what he did that night still haunts me.

I have sex in Los Angeles more than a year later with someone completely different. He is older and funny, I think this is the kind of guy I can trust. He raises his hands to my neck, and I flinch.

It’s been 783 days, and I’m still flinching. TC mark

Here’s The Real Reason He Didn’t Text You

Posted: 20 Mar 2016 07:00 PM PDT

Damian Borja
Damian Borja

I wish I could tell you what you’re hoping to hear. I want to rush in the door with a letter from your hopeful suitor. I would be your Chris Harrison. Oh! It’s a date card. And he piiiicked…YOU! He’s so sorry for not getting in touch sooner, but he’s been stuck in quicksand for three days and his cell had zero service. Thank goodness that group of campers discovered him before it was too late! He was quite literally dying to see you.

If I could, I’d be your damn carrier pigeon. Sincerely. I want to be the bearer of good news.

But I’m gonna go ahead and level with you. If he hasn’t texted you, it’s not because he’s too nervous. He’s not too busy. And his phone is probably sitting within arm’s reach 90% of the time. His fingers didn’t all break off. I mean, at least I hope not.

He didn’t text you because, right now, you are not a priority to him. When he thinks of you, he isn’t filled with that panicky-butterflies-swarming-up-and-down-your-throat feeling. When he thinks of you, I’m sure it’s a pleasant thought. It’s an enjoyable one. But it’s the kind that passes. It’s the kind of thing that is temporary.

If he isn’t actively making an effort, I’m sorry to tell you this, but you just don’t occupy his brain the way you hope you do.

It’s a shitty feeling. Even someone with iron armor thick skin will still feel that sting. Even someone with a generally healthy self-esteem will question things.

Why? Why not me? What’s wrong with me?

And it’s not you. And it is you. It’s both. It’s not a reflection on what you have to give. It just means it’s not a two-sided thing. That can be one of the hardest pills to swallow. A really difficult truth you’ll have to learn is that even when you are SURE you’ve found someone that things make sense with doesn’t mean they have to reciprocate.

If you’re waiting on a text from someone and it doesn’t seem like it’s coming, put down the phone. Turn it off. Go outside, go for a walk, do something that reminds you how insanely big this world is.

You don’t have to play guessing games when someone wants to invest in you. There is no waiting a certain amount of days or pretending to be busy when Netflix knows your schedule is pretty damn open. There’s an urgency. It’s not as if people should be tied to their phones messaging their crush all day long, but when someone is super into you? They kind of can’t help themselves. You’re both freaking out when the phone beeps.

When you are forced to look for signs, that’s a sign. You shouldn’t have to analyze the shit out of everything. We overcomplicate things when the simple answer isn’t satisfying enough.

When it’s right, you won’t be hoping for some sign of life. You won’t be crossing your fingers. You’ll just be with them. You’ll know.

I promise, one day, you’ll know. And it will be so much grander than waiting by your phone. TC mark

Ari Eastman is a spoken word poet, writer, and YouTuber who will tell you random facts about sharks. She has a book called Green Eyes that you can buy here.

Pasted image at 2016_03_15 01_21 PM

You Deserve The Love You Keep Trying To Give Everyone Else

Posted: 20 Mar 2016 06:30 PM PDT

Drew Wilson
Drew Wilson

If someone gave you the chance, you would be the brightest star in their sky. You would be cups of coffee brewing in the air on a Monday morning, homemade soup bubbling on the stove during flu season. You would be a cool Sunday afternoon, tucked within a dream, heaven found between a set of two white sheets. If someone simply gave you the chance, you would be the kind of passion that is intoxicating, insatiable; your ability to care would be boundless.

However, and you will learn this the hard way — not everyone is going to appreciate the fact that there is a galaxy living at the edge of your lips. There are going to be people who hate the bitter taste of coffee with their sunrise, there will be those who will prefer to fight a cold alone. There are people who will not want to sleep in, people who will mistake your emotion for madness, your sensitivity for senselessness.

There are going to be people who cannot contain all of the love you are capable of giving them within their chests. They will fumble with the enormity of your affection; they will try to cleave at the heart of you, collapse you until you fit into the shapes and the sizes of their needs. They will tell you that you are too much — too intense, too soft, and you must walk away. You must remind yourself that when you do not fit into the contours of their arms, it is not because you are too big, too free, too liberated, it is because they simply were never meant to hold you at all.

You deserve the love you keep trying to give everyone else. You are a rare breed, sparking and gleaming in a world that does not yet understand what it means to love ferociously. You deserve to find someone who does not ask you to lessen your roar, who is in awe of the magnitude by which your passion burns. You deserve to find someone who will only ever want to add to your fire, someone who will use their own matchstick heart to encourage your passion, to magnify your flame. Until then, use the world as your kindling, use experience as your coal. Grow your love like a wildfire, and never back down from its heat; never let them dim its light.TC mark

Pasted image at 2016_02_26 03_41 PM

Read more writing like this in Bianca Sparacino’s book Seeds Planted In Concrete here.

The Pros And Cons Of Choosing A Vibrator Over A Boyfriend (Hint: There Are More Pros)

Posted: 20 Mar 2016 06:15 PM PDT

Jérôme Licht
Jérôme Licht

Being single is great, I mean it. You're free to do as you please, you don't have to remember someone's birthday, and you can totally binge through the new Netflix show Love while spooning Ben & Jerry's without being cast judgmental looks from a significant other.

With such an inconsistent 7 day sex forecast though, the ambiguity around when you'll get laid becomes ominous. L.O.S, or 'lack of sex' syndrome has severe and explicit symptoms. A main indicator of its onset is the urge to call/text one’s ex. If you consume alcohol while suffering from L.O.S, chances are your urge will manifest itself into action and you may find yourself at your ex's doorstep, drunk and begging to be touched.

To offset the syndrome one may invest in someone a bit more consistent. And when I say someone I should say something. That something is a vibrator.

Below are the pros and cons to committing yourself to something rather than to someone:

Pros

1. Don’t need to trim the forest

No last-minute calls to Olga, your esthetician, no terrible self-inflicted shaving hacks and no rancid Nair disasters. Your vibrator won't judge or shy away from whatever you've got going on down there.

2. It won’t keep asking you "is this okay?"

Vibrator's aren't seeking approval, it's not that they don't care whether they're pleasing you or not, it's just that they're inanimate.

3. Don't need to give a blowjob

I'm sure there are women out there who don't mind sticking a penis in their mouth, hell maybe some even like it but there are literally four billion other things I'd rather stick in my mouth than someone's genitals.

4. Don’t need to worry about STDs
Assuming you didn’t buy a secondhand electronic friend in which case WTF, there's no anxiety around whether your vibrator is packing the silent killer HPV, my old friend chlamydia or gross herpes.

5. Netflix THEN Chill

A vibrator won’t oppose to the choice of Netflix show you want to watch during a cliché Netflix sesh. But the best part is you'll actually make it through a full movie before having an orgasm.

6. Don't need to worry about protection

Forget racking your brain trying to remember if you took your birth control, no need to stumble for a condom and when you finally do find one, you won't have to watch him struggle to get it on. This is a nice segue into…

7. No Pregnancy

'Nuff said.

8. Don't need to move much

Had a long day at work and you don’t feel like doing the reverse cowgirl? You’re in luck because you’re not going to have to expend much energy with this little guy…or big guy, depending on your budget.

9. Don’t need to be in good shape

Your vibrator loves your winter body or, going to play the 'it's inanimate' card again – it doesn’t know any better. Did you eat four slices of pizza too many? No need to feel self-conscious!

10. Guaranteed orgasm

There is no possibility of faking it, no chance your partner's going to bust early and unlike your ex Greg, you know where your clit is located.

Cons

1. Batteries are expensive

$5 for a pack of Duracel's every few weeks can add up. But what's more important than an orgasm?!

2. When someone asks when the last time you had sex was, this doesn't count.

It may feel awkward having girl talk with your BFFs and everyone's ranting about boy drama while your biggest issue is the new vibrator you bought isn't waterproof and you wanted to try shower sex this week.

3. Your vibrator doesn’t count as a '+1'

As wedding season approaches, you and your electric penis are going strong. Unfortunately, it may be "inappropriate" to count it as a guest at your best friend's wedding.

4. Can't introduce it to your parents

"Hey mom, dad, I'd like you to meet…disappointment!" I haven't personally gone this far but I'd imagine it's awkward AF to introduce your vibrator to the family.

* * *

Well, turns out there are many more pros to having a pseudo boyfriend than there are cons. I'm sure it isn't all gumdrops and rainbows but to be honest, I haven't experienced anything but just that. If you're suffering from L.O.S speak to your doctor about prescribing the Lover Fire 6.5″ Medical Silicone Realistic Dildo Shape G spot Clitoral Stimulation Vibrator from Amazon today. TC mark

If You Are Giving Up On Your Dreams, Read This

Posted: 20 Mar 2016 06:00 PM PDT

Nikita Gill
Nikita Gill

When you are young and leaving home for the first time, it feels like freedom has wrapped you into it's arms and then jumped off a cliff. It is the sensation of flying, without actually fearing that you will hit the ground or the water with a sudden shock to your system, landing is nothing but a afterthought, another universe away. Right now, you are flying.

Maybe this is college. Maybe this is your first apartment. Maybe this is something else, but it's freedom and you grasp it with both hands, tightly, as a child would grasp their mother after they have been away from home the first time. Perhaps the comparison is ironic. Perhaps you just don't see it like that at the time. You take in the city, breathe in life, smoke, mystery, noise, danger – it is all so titillating, and you are so young – the world is yours to take and mould, you can be anything or anyone you feel like.

Freeze that moment, right there in your head. The first time you truly felt free. The expectations, the ideas, the things you thought you were destined to be. Do you remember the pure, unadulterated, unpolluted happiness of it all? Good. I'm glad that you kept the memory.

Because complete freedom brings with it responsibility. Suddenly you make the rules. Suddenly you are in charge of a life that you never thought would go wrong. Suddenly, the whole world is moving faster than you want it to. Suddenly you realise that you aren't ready. Suddenly, it is all spinning out of control. Suddenly you want it all to stop, stop, stop.

But it doesn't stop. The world stops for no one. And it didn't for you.

Listen. I am sorry. I am sorry for making you remember but this is going to be important. Because that fresh faced kid is still somewhere inside you, hiding in a panic room you have made inside your heart. The same kid that had all those dreams the kind of dreams that felt so close in that moment of freedom, you could taste your success.

Go back to that moment. Back to that second you felt like the world was yours, you owned it. What would you tell yourself, really tell yourself now that you know what you do now? Now that you are older and wiser? You have learned already that the world stops for no one. You have made your peace with your responsibilities. You have understood what its like to have your heart broken and most importantly of all, you have learned how to face rejection.

In other words, there is no better time than now to claim complete and utter freedom in your life, take control of your future, take life by the reins and chase every single dream. Do not let the fear of complete freedom dog your every movement, destroy what you once thought was within your reach. You are jaded now, but you do not have to be.

Instead, learn from the mistakes of your youth and take every bit of freedom you feel in that moment, in that second and now, older, and wiser, use it as fuel to pursue every single one of your greatest goals and dreams.

The world is a beautiful place but it is only so if you choose every single day to see it that way. The world is a blissful place but you have to have gratitude in your heart for the little things to see it that way. The world is yours to view negatively or positively, just like freedom is a state of mind.

We all get a choice in this life. You can either choose to slow down, fall back and give up on all your dreams. Or you can choose to never forget what it is like to be completely and totally free and use that feeling, that moment to fuel every single one of your dreams.

Remember the determined young person you used to be. And believe in yourself again.

Don't you owe that starry eyed kid that much? TC mark

9 Sleazy Real-Life Sex Scenes From The Hospital Ward

Posted: 20 Mar 2016 05:30 PM PDT

pixabay.com
pixabay.com
Found on AskReddit.

1. She is bent over taking it in the ass while her three-year-old son is standing outside the bathroom watching

"I am a nursing assistant. A young female patient had asked to take a shower so I got her all set up and told her to call me when she was done because I needed to make sure she got reattached to her IV. Well, it’s been about an hour and I still haven’t heard her call, so I knock on her door and get no reply. I freak out thinking she’s in trouble and enter….I walk in to see that her husband is in the shower with her. She is bent over taking it in the ass while her three-year-old son is standing outside the bathroom watching."

2. He starts masturbating right in front of me

"Okay, I’m a student nurse. I have a job as a nurse assistant where I sometimes have to spend the entire shift looking after a patient, one on one. This is often due to behavioral problems. So this one day I’m looking after a one-on-one patient, and he’s wanting to go to the toilet. His mobility isn’t great, but with my help we get there. There we are, standing in front of the toilet (me behind him, just supporting him a little in case he loses his balance) when he starts masturbating. Right in front of me. I quickly whispered “[patient’s name], are you masturbating?” His response: “…yeah….” I had to give him a stern explanation that that kind of behavior is not appropriate in front of other people. Sigh."

3. Physician fellatio

"A doctor I know sucked another doctor’s dick at a wine and cheese. They were caught and it was a big deal."

4. Chronic masturbator

"Had a homeless man who was in a manic state admitted to my unit. He was a 1:1 (one-on-one observation), which meant someone was in the room with him at all times for safety. He would masturbate under the covers while being explicit to the sitters (mostly all women). It got to the point where we only put men in there with him, but we would still have to relieve them for breaks. We sat further than we were supposed to, but you could tell what he was doing. The last time I sat there, he told me he liked to pee on himself and that he hopes I did too because it’s warm."

5. Psych patient soirée

"I did a rotation on a psychiatric unit. Two patients were admitted with schizophrenia and acute psychosis (related to drugs, I believe). The male patient requested to visit another unit, and policy allows this if there are activities available, and if they have good behavior. When the male patient saw a female patient he was interested in, he walked over to her. I believe they said two or three words to each other. Immediately, they both ripped off their clothes as quickly as possible and tried to 'get to it.' They had to break them up, unfortunately. For once, I felt like the bad guy."

6. If you are an old man, move into a retirement home!

"I worked as a nurse in a retirement home and one morning at like 7am as I made my way to a resident's room and turned I to what I thought was an empty hallway I heard some giggling and moaning. At the end of the hall there was a small hidden corner that can only be seen into once you are very close to it. I turned into the corner there was an elderly man standing and facing me, and in front of him seated in a walker and facing away was an old lady giving him a blowjob. I’m telling you people if you are an old man, move into a retirement home! They get so much action and the old ladies will fight over the men since there are so few of them. Sexual acts were walked into often by caregivers."

7. A married couple asked for our "assistance"

"God, you really don’t want to know. But we had a couple who got married. They asked if we could assist. Too bad he couldn’t get it up and Medicaid won’t pay for ED meds."

8. Patients masturbated as I tried examining them

"I've seen patients masturbate right as you tried to examine them. That’s dedication."

9. Blowjob with a catheter

"I’m a tech, not a nurse or physician, but I was working the pulmonary floor at my last hospital a few years ago when a call light went off. I responded, but it wasn’t an intentional call light. The patient had hit the call button in the throes of passion. I walked in to his wife giving him a blowjob. It wouldn’t have really been a big deal, other than sex in a hospital is just begging to get some really fucked-up infections. However, this patient had a Foley catheter inserted, and the wife was working around it. I almost vomited." TC mark

7 Reasons Why The Best Relationships Are The Ones You Never Expected To Be In

Posted: 20 Mar 2016 05:00 PM PDT

livcollins
livcollins

1. You learn to give and receive love for the sake of it, not because you're trying to get something out of it, which is largely the case when you date someone who you only think is "so right" for you. You have to foster an authentic connection with someone, you can't just slide by on the idea that you *should* be right for one another, so you are.

2. It teaches you to feel again. When you fall in love unexpectedly, you're caught off guard. Your normal defenses aren't up, and you're seeking the relationship because you feel it, not because you think you may, hopefully, probably will one day be into it.

3. It reminds you that the whole concept of having a "type" does nothing but hold you back. Sure, everybody can identify patterns within the people they date or are attracted to, but when it comes to believing that you can only happily be with someone who fits a shallow, preconceived notion of what's "right" for you, you're only keeping yourself away from real connection.

4. It dismantles your ideas about what love should be, or what your life would look like. And there are few things healthier than having that particular set of beliefs taken down – as we all know, the only constant is change and the only certainty is uncertainty, and if we don't lean into that, we won't really arrive anywhere we want to be.

5. You choose them for the right reasons. It's not because you think they'll make you look cool or they match up to the "dream" you always had in your mind about who you'd be with. You just dig them, so you love them, and there are few things more honest or beautiful.

6. You can be more true to yourself. If they're not what you're looking for, then you won't feel as pressured to maintain some image of what you assume they'd be looking for, either. You're just more inclined to really be yourself, and see what happens from there.

7. The best way to fall in love is when you aren't trying to. It's a tale as old as time: the opposites that attract, the love that came along when someone least expected it to. You most fall in love when you aren't trying to find something, because in that openness, you are able to actually give yourself (rather than just want to take an idea of what you think love should be and what it should do for you). TC mark

How To Stop Sleeping Through Your Own Life

Posted: 20 Mar 2016 04:30 PM PDT

unsplash.com
unsplash.com

Go out of your way to find the littlest of things to be thankful for. Soon you will realize that they are more wonderful than you ever realized. When your line at the grocery store moves much more quickly than you were expecting, that’s wonderful. When your bartender gives you a particularly generous pour, that’s wonderful. When you find yourself trying not to laugh during a serious situation (which ultimately makes it funnier), that’s wonderful. Someday you’ll look back and realize you remember a surprisingly large number of seemingly mundane (but actually wonderful) situations.

Be present. Focus on trying to feel the energy emanating off of someone you care about when you’re lucky enough to spend time with them. When you’re hanging out with them on the couch or sitting across from them at dinner, listen intently to what they’re saying. Don’t allow your mind to wander off or to start computing what you will say next. Repeat what the other person is saying in your head if you really need to. Be with them. Leave everyone else on your phone and put it on silent in your pocket.

Dare yourself to demand respect from everyone around you, while also remembering that you are no better than anyone else. Look at the people you annoy you the most and remember that they’ve experienced moments just as sad and as difficult as some of yours. Sometimes they’ve had it even harder than you. You do not have to trick yourself into trying to like them. But you do have to remember that they are human beings.

Look closely at the details on everything, especially that which resides in nature. Pay attention to the patterns of individual leaves while you’re walking to your car. Observe a sunset through only your own eyes and don’t share it with anyone on Snapchat. Inhale a breath of fresh air right after it rains and reflect on the fact that few things smell as good.

Read about ways to have more pleasant mornings or productive days or relaxing evenings, and learn how to actually implement your favorite ones instead of just pretending you will. No more “that sounds nice… maybe some day.” Actually go for that walk in the middle of the day, or bring a book to read on your lunch break instead of scrolling on your phone. Actually drink that warm cup of chamomile tea before bed every night, or sit on the ground for five minutes a day and meditate. If it’s really that hard for you (don’t be embarrassed if it is, we’re a restless generation), try doing it for sixty seconds the first few times. It works.

Leave your phone in the other room when you shower. Stand in the hot water for several minutes before you grab for the shampoo. Just let yourself be left alone for a while. Think of nothing except how good it is to feel clean.

Be you, whoever that is right now, and don’t convince yourself that you have to explain your existence to anyone. Make the choices that you think are right, take care of yourself, and always aim to make someone else’s day a little better.

Hug the person you care about more than anyone else in the world and allow yourself to appreciate, even for two seconds, the fact that they are warm and alive and that you can feel their heart beating for you. These are the little moments that we miss later on, the ones that we agonize over because we didn’t spend enough time appreciating them.

Be here, and be you, as strongly as you can. Be awake. TC mark

15 Things You Need To Know About The Life Of A Highly Sexual Single Woman

Posted: 20 Mar 2016 04:00 PM PDT

Photo by OnaArtist.com
Photo by OnaArtist.com

I've been putting this article off for years now considering what people might make of it. It takes a good bit of courage for me to write these types of pieces because old memories and the potential judgmental thoughts of others sometimes get the best of my energy. Luckily, I can say that I'm in complete control of my energy these days and I am now, as I always have been, very comfortable in my sexuality. Unfortunately, there are so many stereotypes, double standards, and wrongful judgments that come with being a highly sexual woman, but I'm going to make some of those things clear right now. So, let's get into it shall we?!

1. Sex can be emotional, but it doesn't have to be.

This is arguably the most misunderstood fact about being a highly sexual woman. Sex can and most times is completely physical for the woman indulging. This isn't only for woman who are highly sexual beings. Yes fellas, it was just sex. It's stress relieving and therapeutic. Thanks for your time. Buh-bye now.

2. Masturbation is a way of life.

No shame in the masturbation game. At this point, you don't even need the porn. A candlelit bubble bath and wine is all I need to get this party started.

3. Men are both intrigued and intimidated by you.

This is arguably the most frustrating fact about being a highly sexual woman. Your sexuality is astounding to them (especially if they've heard anything [true or false] about you), but your sexual freedom intimidates their masculinity as well. Don't let them tell you different. It's true. It takes a very solid man to deal with our kind.

4. You're either a sex god or a whore in the eyes of others.

Simple as that. You can't just be a confident woman who is comfortable with her sexuality–oh no. For most, you're either a sex legend or a walking with a scarlet letter. The end.

5. All of your friends come to you for sexual how-to's and advice.

I actually enjoy this part of being a highly sexual woman and other women like me are fond of it too. Because we're comfortable in our sexual behaviors, it's nice to shed a little light on why that is. For me personally, I like to educate my friends and anyone who asks me questions so that they can find their sexuality as exhilarating and enjoyable as I do.

6. Sometimes she’ll quit after one hit.

The only thing worse than no sex at all is BAD sex. Period. You can bet your bottom dollar that you only get one shot to 'wow' a highly sexual woman one time. Should you disappoint, she will NOT be back for seconds. I promise.

7. "I fuck who I want, and fuck who I don't."

That's the bottom line. It's never as many people as others would think, but either way we don't look at it as numbers. A highly sexual woman has the leisure of picking her partners just as carefully as she chooses her selfies. When you engage in a highly sexual woman it's because she chose you too. Believe that!

8. You get very few bad reviews.

A bad report doesn't happen often, if at all. It's a moment of pride for us to share our sexual drive and passion with those that we choose to experience it.

9. There is a difference between sex and love.

Again, this is another one of those myths that will really frustrate a highly sexual woman because so many people feel that we aren't able to connect or disconnect love and sex. Just because I am a highly sexual woman does not by any means mean that I cannot be faithfully committed to one partner.

10. A healthy, lasting relationship is a very possible thing.

For those of you who do identify yourselves as a highly sexual woman… do not for any reason let the judgment of others force you to believe that the previously mentioned is not true and obtainable.

11. Nothing hurts like "not now, babe."

At this point in the life of a highly sexual woman, her desire for her partner burns passionately… pretty much all the time. Now, it's no mystery that her urge to make love will be stronger than her partners, but that doesn't make the rejection for fun-time hurt any less.

12. Multiple times a day is not me being spoiled, it's exercise!

Again, when a highly sexual woman finds a man that can handle her and wants to be with her and only her, that passion for him is I N T E N S E to say the least. That means that yes, 10 times out of 10–she's hot in the pants for her man and if he lets her get it, she's gonna go for it every time.

13. You constantly want to try new things.

A lot of love-making means you have to keep things innovative and fresh to make sure that you two wear each other out (winky face), but don't get tired of one another. A highly sexual woman understands the importance of going all out to keep her man happy and to keep the relationship on the up-and-up. There's always new tricks to learn.

14. You have to be with a highly sexual man.

This I am willing to debate, but from my own personal experience… relationships have been healthiest for me when I was committed to someone with as strong a sexuality as my own. What do you think?

15. Sex with you is an experience.

I'm willing to bet that any man who is in a relationship with a highly sexual woman has little to no complaints about the intimacy the two of them share. The passionate, wild, sensual connection you share with someone you're growing with is incomparable at least while it lasts. TC mark

14 iNtuitive Feeling Men Explain What They Wish The World Understood About NF Males

Posted: 20 Mar 2016 03:30 PM PDT

Anita Peeples
Anita Peeples

1. “I am an NF man and I do not just cry and write poetry all the time! I have intense emotions about the causes I care about, but am otherwise a very private person. My NF shows through in my interest in abstract intellectual topics, not necessarily in art.” -INFP, 19

beetlejuice

2. “Although emotional in nature, a great number of male feelers also like being in-charge and decision makers. Additionally, many can provide intellectual stimulation so long as their partner is sensitive and doesn’t resort to trolling to gain the upper hand in a debate.” -ENFJ, 26

beetlejuice

3. “NF men need to be very clear about their romantic situation – we don’t date casually and we need a partner who is very loyal. We can make the first move but it a little more difficult for NF men because we always want to be respectful.” -INFP, 30

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4. “I genuinely love having female friends. I’m not inboxing you expecting to get nudes.” -INFP, 30

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5. “I do not conform to conventional ideas of masculinity. For this reason, I think I have always had a really hard time fitting in (which, I guess, is the INFJ condition). I have managed to successfully navigate years of social ostracism, but picked up a strong tendency towards self-criticism and negative self-worth. I try my best to combat this tendency, but honestly, it’s a daily struggle; I so often condemn myself for lacking the proverbial strength and qualities that society expects from a typical man. But there is a valuable lesson that I have learned, and one that all members of society should remember about NF men: sensitivity is not a weakness, and neither is idealism; a man can be emotional, without having his validity questioned.” -INFJ, 25

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6. “NF men are not wimps. We have a quiet strength that is caring and protective of others.” -ENFP, 52

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7. “Most of the time I’m normally mistaken as gay or too girly but I don’t thing being in touch with my emotions has anything to do with sexuality (I’m straight) or has anything to do with my masculinity. I find that we seem to be quickly placed into the friends zone when it comes to most of our female relationships. In general though I find that my friendships in general end up being more about emotional support for our friends. As with my experience the only place we get this from our friends is through other NF males. This may be due to the awkwardness this may cause other types. Not sure. Through to be honest I don’t normally feel that most people don’t understand us well. Especially in societies like Australia (where I am from) were there is this social understanding that men have to be tough as and don’t talk about their emotions. This makes things slightly weird and uncomfortable when conversing with people with that mentality.” -ENFP, 24

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8. “We are honest and caring. But we are not unconfident or weak.” -ENFJ, 26

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9. “Understanding ourselves and our emotions makes us very strong. People have this erroneous belief that pushing emotion down makes them strong. Ironically, it’s this repression that leaves them a slave to their unconscious feelings and weaker for it. Experiencing emotion and exploring it’s many textures is what makes you a master of that realm – not avoiding it. It takes courage to be vulnerable, open and authentic – it’s something that scares most men to death. Standing against the crowd as an individual is about as masculine as it gets. It can be hard being an INFP male in a world that dismisses our primary function, but ultimately it teaches us enormous inner strength. I don’t wish to be anyone but myself and an INFP. I love the cognitive functions I’ve been given. I can’t think of a stack that is better for deep, meaningful creativity and understanding people. I am so grateful for the many gifts my type affords me!” -INFP, 47

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10. “Our strength lies in our emotional intelligence, thus we are taken for granted when it comes to friendship, whereas SJ types think emotion is redundant.” -INFP, 18

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11. “I think as an NF male, it gives me a bit of an advantage in some social situations. Most people expect me to be more logical and calculating, so if I am, it’s no different. But when they find that I am more emotionally in tune with myself and them, it sets me apart from most other men. It allows me the opportunity to make an unexpected difference in their life, should the chance arise. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.” -INFJ, 24

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12. “That gender stereotypes are out of date. And they were always wrong for a lot of people.” -ENFP, 49

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13. “Don’t marginalize us because we don’t fit into your ‘usual’ roles.” -ENFP, 35

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14. “I am not weak. I am just hopeful and patient but when hope and patience run out, watch out!” -INFP, 46 TC mark

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