Thought Catalog

Without You, I Am The Kind Of Broken That Can’t Be Fixed

Posted: 04 Mar 2016 08:00 PM PST

Twenty20, dashutka2212
Twenty20, dashutka2212

I am the kind of tired that sleep just cannot fix. The kind that crawls across the surface of your skin and sits on your shoulders and sinks its needles into you to draw out every single last drop of blood and with it every single last breath of life and energy and soul and hope.

I am the kind of sad that tears cannot drown. They fall still, always, and in tandem. Each teardrop too frightened to make the journey to my chin alone and so they hold hands on the leap out my red eyelids and they plunge to their demise willingly and bravely and with more grace than I deserve on these cheeks. The kind of sad that hits you like a hurricane and before you have time to adjust your feet against the waves and sea that just won’t stop rising, steals everything you ever knew and washes it back beyond the horizon. I am the kind of sad that sits in shock in that aftermath and the two hands that hold one head in disbelief that the ocean could be so angry after all this time, and direct its wrath so clearly at me.

I am the kind of lost that they just do not make a compass for. Sailors of old would shout at the skies and curse the clouds for hiding their stars and still know with certainty that they knew more than I knew about where they were on this earth. The kind of lost that spins you around 3 times no 4 no 10 with a blindfold and then knocks you down and knocks you out and dumps you miles from nowhere and says simply, Go Home. The lost that has no home because instead of wood beams and concrete floors and matching drapes and perfectly distressed furniture or an old piano bought for too little money and just the right amount of excitement, I had ribs and the way they rose and fell and broke like waves across the shore of pale skin. I had eyes like stormy seas with sunshine piercing through the black in the middle and hair that dropped like smoke around the silhouette of my head on the pillow and framed me in shadows that smelled exactly like my bedroom when I was growing up, like that first night in your old room after so many months away.

I am the kind of homeless that only comes when the last family member has gone away and the last penny has been spent and the dignity has faded and the dirty hand with dirty nails reaches into the dirty air and begs without pride for a scrap, just a morsel of anything, in order to survive. I am the kind of homeless that only comes when the only home I ever wanted to know closes up its doors and boards up its windows and changes the locks and maybe, just maybe changes locations entirely without a forwarding address to ride along with the mail to.

I am the kind of alone that comes when the realization comes that everyone else will step forward and you will not step at all. That they will march happily into the rest of their lives and I am unable to imagine the rest of this breath. The kind of alone that comes as nothing even begins to make sense unless you love someone, but the alone that sneaks up on you when that someone cannot or will not or should not or is too afraid to truly love you back.

I am the kind of silent that only a few places left on this planet know about. The kind that comes when not even an airplane cruising above the frozen clouds disrupts the pure and complete nothingness. The kind of silent that has its own sound and begins to hurt so much that you swear your lonely eardrums will burst. The silence that only comes when the last echo of your own laughter has died and only a memory remains of the voices that used to hum to you and pull you back from the darkest nights and most haunting nightmares.

I am the kind of broken that only comes when so many pieces are shattered off the whole that it forgets it ever painted a picture at all. That it forgets it was ever a cup and that it ever felt your lips hover above the heat of the tea to blow your perfect breath in a simple attempt to cool it just enough to slide down your throat. I am the kind of broken that comes when I’m dropped by hands that just can’t hold me any longer and so they let me fall not by accident but by priority. That something that matters more required holding and there just were not enough fingers or thumbs or palms to fit me into. The slow dropping through space and the crash that scatters me all across the floor. The kind of broken that stays broken because only one set of hands knows the way it was before, and if those hands don’t have the time or the patience or the energy or the courage to do it then broken I will stay and I would so much rather be broken than put back together in the wrong order by the wrong hands with the wrong glue.

I am the kind of empty that comes only when it’s known that I will never be filled again. The kind of empty that, well, there is no kind of empty that even begins to feel how I feel. There is no empty like this, I am inventing it as I go, with each drop of hope that falls out of me and each reverberation of nothing being poured back in. I am empty. I am empty. I am empty. TC mark

This Is How We Will Travel The World Together

Posted: 04 Mar 2016 07:00 PM PST

image1 (1)
Jay Alvarrez

On the plane I will use your lap as an armrest, your shoulder as a pillow for my head. We will take advantage of the complimentary white wine, and laugh about the dated magazines they've stuffed between the seats. I will wake you up four times to use the bathroom, yet you'll always choose the aisle seat — you know I like the window. We will land in each worldly destination, and I will kiss you in every single arrivals gate. You will dance for me while we wait for our luggage.

In Paris, you are too much, I will think, as you stuff three pieces of bread in your mouth while trying to fill my glass with cheap wine. We will run through the Louvre even though it is forbidden, I swear even the paintings will laugh at us.

In Berlin, you are too much, I will think, as you reach over and rest your hand on my thigh, speeding through the long and winding country roads ahead of us. We will drink too much beer and raid the hotel mini bar, stretching out on the king sized bed as we fall asleep to the sound of strange foreign gameshows.

In Rome, you are too much, I will think, as we have deep and long conversations in a language we just improvised into existence. We will lay on the floor of the Sistine Chapel, giving the characters in each and every illustration a name, giving the figures in each and every mural a story.

In Bangkok, you are too much, I will think, as you tightly embrace me in the back of a Tuk Tuk to ensure I don't fall out. We will challenge each other here — you will dare me to eat a scorpion in the local market; I will tickle you in a silent temple, watching as your cheeks fill with stifled amusement.

Jay Alvarrez

In Cebu, you are too much, I will think, as you try to spell out words with your hands in the middle of a dive. We will emerge from the cerulean water, both interrupting each other as we excitedly talk about the aquatic mysteries that left us in awe.

I will kiss you in each and every departure gate. We will wait for our chance to board the plane, sifting through the polaroids we took, reminiscing about the time-lapse of memories we were able to create within the world. I will use your lap as an armrest, your shoulder as a pillow for my head. I will hold your hand as you fall asleep, admiring all of the things we have gone through together, all of the ambitious adventures we will dream up in our future.

I will smile, thinking about the fact that with every new experience you are pressed into me more and more, like a stamp in my passport, like a destination I will always want to explore. I will smile, thinking about all of our travels, and how nice it always is to come home, even though with you I was home the whole time. TC mark

Read more writing like this in Bianca Sparacino’s book Seeds Planted In Concrete here.

Pasted image at 2016_02_26 03_41 PM

Here’s The Scariest Horror Movie That Takes Place In Your State (And The Other 49)

Posted: 04 Mar 2016 06:15 PM PST

Illustration by Daniella Urdinlaiz
Illustration by Daniella Urdinlaiz


“Body Snatchers” (1993)

Body Snatchers
Body Snatchers

Look out for the pod people. They’re coming for you and your loved ones! You know, if they haven’t gotten them already…


“30 Days Of Night”

30 Days Of Night
30 Days Of Night

As if endless cold and Sarah Palin weren’t enough, NOW you’re dealing with vampires who never have to hide. Great. Just PEACHY.




Luckily for you, Norman would never hurt a fly. Just skip the shower.


“The Town That Dreaded Sundown”

The Town That Dreaded Sundown
The Town That Dreaded Sundown

Hey, did you know this movie was based on a true story? And that they never caught the Phantom Killer? Good luck sleeping tonight, Arkansas.




I really struggled between this and “Scream” but c’mon, that tree. The clown. The TV People! Gotta go with Carol Anne on this one.


“The Shining”

The Shining
The Shining

You’ve always been the caretaker, Colorado.


“The Haunting In Connecticut”

The Haunting In Connecticut
The Haunting In Connecticut

The title is sort of a slam dunk but it’s also based off a true story I heard from a ghost hunter who helped investigate the case, which is sort of cool. Also SPOOKY SEANCE!


“Survival Of The Dead”

Survival Of The Dead
Survival Of The Dead

George A. Romero’s horde of zombies takes this state. Best prepare for the apocalypse now, Delaware!


“Jeepers Creepers”

Jeepers Creepers
Jeepers Creepers

From what I remember, the Creeper only hunts every 23rd spring, so looks like you’re all safe until 2024. Enjoy the 8 years you get to keep your eyes!




Before you try to tell me this isn’t a horror movie watch it again, carefully, then tell me you wouldn’t be scared shitless in their position. Go ahead. I’ll wait.


“A Perfect Getaway”

A Perfect Getaway
A Perfect Getaway

Sure, people are bound to die in horrible ways, but Timothy Olyphant is there and also one of the Hemsworths so at least you’ll enjoy some beauty along the way. Oh, and the views of course.

What Happens When I Use ‘The B Word’

Posted: 04 Mar 2016 06:00 PM PST

I kiss the pretty boy in black semi-sheer thigh highs, plant my hands on his hips, pull teasingly at his garter belt and I can hear my mother shaking her head across town. I can't tell if she is disappointed or confused.

I lie awake next to the girl who smells like sweat and lemonade. I think about shoving my face into her hair but she falls asleep talking about her boyfriend. On the day my mother corners me in the kitchen to ask if I'm a “fucking lesbian,” I say no. I wonder if it counts as a lie when I still don't have a word for all the different kinds of porn I like to watch.

When I come out, I am eight thousand miles away from home. I am sharing the bed of a substitute teacher. He likes to tie me up at night and kiss me in the morning. When I use the B word, my mother says she's not surprised but she doesn't understand. All I can think about is the first time bisexuality came up with her in conversation and she laughed.


My grandmother asks where they went wrong, if it's because my father left and "you know, the other stuff." She says, LOOK: IF YOU FALL IN LOVE, I'LL BE HAPPY FOR YOU BUT YOU CAN'T MARRY A WOMAN BECAUSE IT PERSONALLY OFFENDS ME. She calls me a dyke and says it's a joke. She never asks me again if I'm seeing anybody.

I have a crush on a girl who makes her living writing good lines. I swoon every time she calls me baby, but I tell her I don't know if I want to get into things. I second guess myself into a corner. What if it is just a phase? What if I change my mind? What if my mother's right? Do I really need to put my family through that kind of thing?

I make arrangements to meet up with a man I've been in love with for the last few years, but I don't tell anyone in my family because I don't feel like explaining that it doesn't mean I am straight.

My coworker says to me "why do lesbians use dildos? why don't they just fuck men?" And I want to say "have you ever met a man??" but I feel like the joke is too gay and I am always trying to convince everyone I know that my sexuality is a revolving door that never stops spinning long enough to check IDs.

Yet somehow, I am always getting carded.


When the supreme court ruling comes through, I cry; but I don't know if I can really celebrate the way that I want to because I don't feel gay enough to talk about the struggle, but I'm not straight. My mother finds me in the morning to ask if I've heard the news.


I say, "then you don't really support me"
and she doesn't say anything. TC mark

For more of Trista’s writing, check out her website.

Why Men Pull Away: 12 Guys Reveal The Reason They Drift

Posted: 04 Mar 2016 04:00 PM PST

Twenty20 bethaneyvalverde
Twenty20 bethaneyvalverde

1. This is still my family we’re talking about.

I once dated a girl who knew my sister and my cousin, she kept throwing shade at them the whole time and I can tell she didn't really like them. That was the biggest warning sign. If she can't respect my family, I can't respect her.

-Tim, 31

2. Leave the drama at home.

One time, I was on a third date with a girl and she started telling me all about her family problems then she started crying hysterically. It was endearing that she opened up to me but I was overwhelmed because it wasn't like sobbing, she was hyperventilating.  I had no clue how to handle her or the situation. It definitely made me not look forward to a fourth one.

-Drew, 33

3. Men want appreciation too.

We went to the beach together for the whole weekend, it was my gift to her for her birthday, all she did was complain about the hotel, the service, the food and the weather. We ended up staying in all day and didn't enjoy the sun because she was just turned off by the whole trip. It made me feel like she didn't even acknowledge the effort I put in for her birthday and didn't even say thank you after we left. Men want to feel appreciated too, there's a reason she is now my ex.

Omar, 29

4. I deserve better.

I was trying to talk to this girl who kept playing hard to get for so long even though I knew she liked me (a common friend had told me). It was fun at first but then I got bored after a while. It's not a chase if you're not having fun and it was obvious she was doing it on purpose, she didn't really have much going on in her life to be that busy or ignore my texts. It was definitely a big turn-off and made me not want to reach out to her again. I deserve better than that.

-Rick, 32

5. I think I found myself a stalker.

After we became friends on Facebook, the girl I had just started dating started sending me pictures I was tagged in, asking me about the girls in those pictures and accusing me of standing so close to one girl, it really freaked me out. She also started mentioning my previous trips and how cute my sister was. It was definitely not cute and borderline creepy. It sucks though because she was pretty.

-Kurt, 29

6. She just wouldn't leave.

This girl came over to my place because she was 'in the neighborhood,' that was around noon. She ended up spending the night and took me to brunch the day after. She just wouldn’t leave and  kept finding excuses to stay. It made me realize that she is so clingy and has no life.

-Hesham, 30

7. Don't flirt with my boys.

I was really into this girl and we were all invited to the same birthday party. She got wasted and started flirting with my boys and dancing with them. It was hard to tell who she was into because she was all over the place and everyone started talking about her odd behavior. It definitely changed my mind about her.

-Joseph, 34

8. 50 shades of crazy.

I was texting a girl frequently then I got bored and stopped. When she asked me why I stopped, I was honest with her and told her I am losing interest. She went all 50 shades of crazy on me, she sent me like 10 messages telling me ‘You are a douchebag, all men are the same, I thought you were different, I told my friends about you. You humiliated me. I thought you will be my boyfriend but good riddance. Bye Felicia.’  She was very immature in her response, also, I thought women liked honesty.

-Eric, 26

9. If you ghosted me, don't come back.

I really liked this girl who practically ghosted me. A few months later, she had a change of heart and wanted to start hanging out again. Even though I was flattered, it gave me the impression that she is indecisive or maybe just got dumped or something so I just never responded to her. It's hard to recover from ghosting. Sorry ladies.

-Bobby, 32

10. The classic.

Honestly when I start pulling away it's because I am talking to someone else. It's hard when you are dating more than one girl to be as consistent and attentive as you were in the beginning. I hope girls understand that if a guy is single, he is probably dating more than one girl.

-Raf, 28

11. 'Like' my picture.

I was talking to this girl who would get so offended every time I didn't like a picture she posted and she would actually ask me to like it. I did it a few times to please her but after a while it got really annoying. I just felt like she was very shallow and insecure and definitely not girlfriend material.

-Jack, 31

12. Hmmm, I thought I was the man.

I took a girl to my favorite bar and some guy unintentionally pushed me, she started telling him off, yelling at him and forcing him to apologize to me. It really caught me off guard because I don't think the guy even knew what he did and I thought I was the man. I just had a feeling she won't be easy to be around so I vanished.

-John, 28 TC mark

40 Thought-Provoking Questions To Ask Yourself If You Want To Live An Emotionally Healthy Life

Posted: 04 Mar 2016 03:00 PM PST

Juan Castillo
Juan Castillo

1. Am I accomplishing goals beyond what is expected of me?

2. Are all my hobbies for pure enjoyment or do some of them contribute something to society for?

3. Do I ask for what I need even when it may cause conflict?

4. Am I generous to those who have nothing to give me?

5. Have I become comfortable with my life for the sake of self-preservation?

6. How am I challenging myself?

7. Am I challenging myself?

8. Do I stay silent when I should speak out against an injustice?

9. Am I taking advantage of those I love?

10. Are my loved ones taking advantage of me?

11. Why am I doing what I am doing?

12. Am I only doing [insert goal here] in order to be considered successful by others?

13. Do I treat others in an ethical manner?

14. Did I make someone laugh or smile today?

15. Did I make myself laugh or smile today?

16. Am I assuming more than I am asking?

17. Am I overthinking every situation to the detriment of my relationships?

18. When I am in a rut, am I accepting myself for who I am in the present moment?

19. When I make mistakes, do I treat myself the way I would treat others?

20. When I make mistakes, do I treat others the way I would want to be treated?

21. Are the decisions I am making today going to negatively impact my future?

22. Am I okay with not knowing the answer to a difficult question?

23. Why do I feel embarrassed when I am wrong?

24. Is having the answer to a question more important than my emotional well-being?

25. In my work or relationship(s), do I ever 'dig deeper' or am I always settling for mediocrity?

26. Have I learned about a new topic?

27. Do I learn the bare minimum about a subject or do I increase my knowledge on a subject I have a decent grasp on?

28. Do I always make decisions based on my emotions?

29. Do I always make decisions based on logic?

30. What is the best way for me to grieve?

31. How does the way I grieve affect those I care about most?

32. When is it okay for me to be impulsive?

33. When would it benefit me the most to be more organized?

34. Do I believe people are naturally talented or that the success of others is a mix of hard work and (possibly) natural talent?

35. How am I engaging my senses on a daily basis?

36. On a scale of 1 to 10, how closed off am I to others?

37. On a scale of 1 to 10, how dependent am I on others?

38. How long has it been since I have had a creative project?

39. How much do I complain?

40. How many times do I remind myself to be grateful for what I have? TC mark

15 Things You Should Stop Letting People Do To You

Posted: 04 Mar 2016 02:00 PM PST

Unsplash Jessica Polar
Unsplash Jessica Polar

1. Stop letting people tell you how you should live.

Or what you should wear or who you should date or what you should eat.

2. Stop letting people drain your energy.

Detach yourself from these people and don't invite their negativity into your life.

3. Stop letting people pry into your personal life.

People who have no business being in your life in the first place. Keep your distance from those who only want to gossip about you.

4. Stop letting people make fun of your dreams.

Small minds discuss small ideas, if you want to dream big, you have to surround yourself with people who believe in dreams or people who have made their dreams come true.

5. Stop letting people fool you twice.

If someone convinced you they've changed and you don't believe it, don't give them a second chance. You will only be lying to yourself.

6. Stop letting people give you the advice they're not taking.

If they don't practice what they preach, don't listen to them. They probably don't want what’s best for them to know what’s  best for you.

7. Stop letting people pinpoint your failures.

Sadly, some people feel better about themselves when they belittle others. Don't give them that power. Stand your ground or walk away for good.

8. Stop letting people make you feel unlovable.

People who keep telling you how difficult you are or why you need to change. You are a work in progress and some people love you and embrace your mess. Stick to those people. They are enough.

9. Stop letting people take advantage of your kindness.

Or demand all your time. Be a good friend but always know when you are being taken for granted.

10. Stop letting people steer you away from your passion.

Because it's crazy or unrealistic or doesn't pay the bills. Don't let them stop you from pursuing your calling.

11. Stop letting people pressure you with time.

People love timelines and deadlines. Do your best and let God take care of the timing of your life.

12. Stop letting people label you.

Vulnerable. Emotional. Crazy. Indecisive. Complicated. People love labels but that doesn't mean you should buy them. Throw away their labels.

13. Stop letting people talk you out of your ideas.

You have to take risks and take a leap of faith. Don't share all your ideas with people who will not understand them.

14. Stop letting people blame you for what goes wrong in their life.

Don't let people scapegoat you for their shortcomings.

15. Stop letting people take more than their share in your life.

At the end of the day, people can unintentionally drain you or let you down. When someone is pushing their views on you, remember that you do not have to accept it.  TC mark

13 Creepy Facts You Didn’t Know About The O.J. Simpson Murder Case

Posted: 04 Mar 2016 01:15 PM PST

Flickr, Charles LeBlanc
Flickr, Charles LeBlanc

The Murders Were Absolutely Brutal

The crime scene photos are available online but I do not recommend looking them up unless you’ve got a strong stomach. Both Nicole and Goldman were stabbed excessively; Goldman had been struck in the head with blunt force and then stabbed in the neck, head, heart, and lungs. Nicole’s throat was slashed so deeply that her larynx was actually exposed and even her vertebrae was damaged.

Their Bodies Were Left In Pools Of Blood For Hours

Nicole lay in a sad slump at the foot of a set of stairs, curled in on herself. Goldman was flopped over on his side near a fence. They were both covered in blood. It took hours for the police to discover them, and yes, true to “American Crime Story,” their distressed dog was what finally lead neighbors to the scene of the crime.

Nicole’s Children Were Home At The Time Of The Murders

As terrible as it is to believe, Nicole Brown Simpson’s children — Sydney, who was eight years old, and Justin, who was five — were actually sleeping upstairs at the Brentwood condo when the murders took place.

O.J. Kissed Nicole’s Corpse At Her Funeral

Even though her attack had been brutal, Nicole was given an open-casket funeral. Her ex-husband arrived, despite the scandal surrounding her murder, and spent a significant amount of time with her body. Multiple witnesses, including Nicole’s own mother, have claimed he kissed her corpse on the lips and whispered an apology.

Before The Bronco Chase, O.J. Recorded A Suicide Tape

Author of “American Tragedy: The Uncensored Story of the O.J. Simpson Defense” Lawrence Schiller shared portions of the tape he obtained that had been recorded by Simpson only hours before his infamous escape attempt. One part in particular seemed like a cry for help:

“Oh boy, I don’t know how I ended up here. Please remember me as ‘The Juice.’ Please remember me as a good guy. Don’t remember me as one of the negatives that might end up here. Please, please, please, please leave my kids at peace. I love everybody.”

He Also Wrote A Suicide Note

Famously read by Robert Kardashian at a press conference, Simpson’s letter (which has been called both a suicide note and NOT a suicide note) contains thanks to friends and family, nods to current and ex-girlfriends, claims of innocence, and this chilling line:

I think of my life and feel I’ve done most of the right things. So why do I end up like this? I can’t go on. No matter what the outcome, people will look and point. I can’t take that. I can’t subject my children to that. This way, they can move on and go on with their lives.

…Then Proceeded To Threaten To Kill Himself In Kim Kardashian’s Bedroom

This is a hot topic, thanks to “American Crime Story” and Khloe Kardashian’s claims that the event actually took place in her room (attention grab much?) but according to Robert Kardashian himself this is a true story. Schiller, who spoke at length with Robert Kardashian for his book, wrote Kardashian had this to say after finding O.J. in Kim’s room with a gun and photos of Nicole:

"Then O.J. said, 'I'm going to kill myself in this room,' and I said, 'My little girl Kim sleeps here. I can't have my little girl in this bedroom and every time I come in here, I'm going to see your body lying in this. You can't do that.’"

During The Bronco Chase, O.J. Was Prepared To Leave The Country

America watched in awe as Simpson lead the police on a nearly two-hour-long car chase, but what none of the spectators knew was that he had taken the time to plan the escape, at least in part. In the white Bronco, O.J. was in possession of a stash of clothes, his passport, a false beard/mustache, almost $8000 in cash, and a loaded .357 Magnum.

O.J. Had Been Trained In Knife Combat — Just Months Before The Murders

Earlier in 1994, Simpson had starred in a still-unaired pilot for an NBC series called “Frogmen.” In it, he would play the leader of a group of Navy SEALs based out of Miami. The role required knife combat training for realism and even included a scene where Simpson’s character holds a knife to a woman’s throat.

He Was Caught In An Outright Lie Regarding Key Evidence

One of the strongest pieces of evidence at the murder scene was a shoe print found in the victims’ blood: a men’s Bruno Magli, size 12. When asked if he’d ever owned a pair of said shoes, Simpson’s response was no. He then went on to elaborate, "I would have never worn those ugly ass shoes." He was immediately confronted with a photo of himself published in the National Enquirer nine months prior, wearing a pair of Bruno Maglis. During the trial, 30 more photos of Simpson wearing those shoes were entered as evidence.

A Serial Killer Says He Was Hired By O.J. For The Murders

Glen Rogers, a convicted serial killer, has confessed to being hired by O.J. Clay Rogers is “absolutely certain” his brother is who murdered Nicole and Goldman. In 1994, Glen Rogers had been a drifter who arrived in Los Angeles and was hired as Nicole Brown Simpson’s house painter. His brother claims he took a gold angel pin from Nicole’s body and mailed it to his mother in Ohio. Anthony Meoli, a criminal profiler, exchanged letters with Rogers — who then explained Simpson hired him to break into the Brentwood condo and steal back a set of diamond earrings he’d given Nicole. Supposedly, it went south when Goldman ran into him on the steps outside. The explanation for Simpson’s footprints? He was waiting nearby and wanted to check Rogers’ work, so he walked up to the steps himself, leaving behind evidence. And even more bloodcurdling:

“Glen told me that O.J.’s instructions were that ‘You may have to kill the bitch,'” Meoli said. “Those were his exact words.”

After Being Found Not Guilty, O.J. Threw A Rager

You might think that after months and months of being a media circus, Simpson might want to lay low, but according to Vanity Fair he purchased 40 cases of champagne for a party at his estate in Rockingham. And just to add salt to the wound, he hired the LAPD — you know, the same LAPD his defense team had spent all that time belittling — to protect his house from media coverage.

The Verdict Is One Of The Most Important Televised Moments Of Our Time

Obviously the verdict was a huge deal, but according to a survey done by Nielsen and Sony, it’s an even bigger deal than you may realize. It’s considered the third most “universally impactful” televised moment in the last 50 years, only trumped by the 9/11 attacks and Hurricane Katrina. TC mark

Repeat After Me: Stop. Following. Your. Ex. On. Social. Media.

Posted: 04 Mar 2016 01:00 PM PST

Anna Demianenko
Anna Demianenko

Everyone thinks of their ex from time to time. It’s human nature to be curious about where they are in their lives and what new things they are up to. But, sometimes when it’s a fresh breakup and you find yourself ten weeks deep into their Instagram and are thinking about liking that picture, please don’t double tap that.

Social media makes it very difficult for people these days to get over their exes. On Facebook, you see their new pictures and statuses pop up all the time, and on Twitter you see their posts and wonder if that tweet was really about you (probably). Their life is so easily accessible that suddenly, you find yourself at 2:00am stalking all the pictures you have with them. And you find yourself missing those times with this person. And you find yourself wanting them all over again. And that’s when things can get dangerous.

I’m no expert on breakups. To be honest, I suck at them and avoid any sort of confrontation that breakups can bring. I also tend to stalk them as soon as it’s over, hunting for proof that maybe they still care about me. I will waste time re-reading our messages and texts. On Facebook, I will go through pictures and memories we had shared together. And don’t even get me started on the dreaded drunk texts and calls that you will always regret doing.

It’s a terrible cycle that feels unbreakable because it’s so easy to do and it’s so satisfying in a sick kind of way. But in all reality, stalking your ex will always make you feel like shit. It will always make you question your self-worth and make you wonder what you could've done differently or if there was something you could've said to patch things up. It will break your heart all over again when you see your ex look at someone new the way they used to look at you. It will make you consume too much wine on lonely nights as you dive into your past and forget to come up for air. And this is how you stop:

Block them. On everything. And anything. It sounds harsh, and unnecessary but, it is truly the only thing that will help you finally let go of the sadness and pain that breakups bring. When they aren't easily accessible on all of your social media platforms, you will soon start going to bed at night and not feel the urge to see what they are up to. When you don’t see their pictures pop up everywhere on your newsfeed, you will start to adapt to a life without them. And it will start feeling good. And you will start feeling better about yourself and your life as a whole because you are free from that person and free from that part of your past.

So, if you have recently been spending nights more often than not finding yourself obsessing over your past and dwelling over what should’ve been, it is time to move on. Please do yourself a favor and click that block button. Your future self will thank you greatly and your ex will probably be thankful too. TC mark

What Your Enneagram Type Is Not An Excuse For

Posted: 04 Mar 2016 12:00 PM PST

Thong Vo
Thong Vo

Being a type 1 does not give you the right to expect others to follow your system of values or morals because you believe them to be less corrupt than the morals of others.

Being a type 2 does not give you the right to expect attention and devotion from the people you invest in, if they did not actively agree to invest equally in you.

Being a type 3 does not give you the right to demand admiration and respect from those around you, simply because you've achieved something impressive.

Being a type 4 does not give you the right to deplete others' resources because you refuse to take an average job or maintain an average lifestyle because you're more complex and unique than other people.

Being a type 5 does not give you the excuse to outright ignore the opinions and input of other people because you believe yourself to be intellectually superior to them.

Being a type 6 does not give you the right to put your wellbeing entirely in the hands of other people and expect them to care for you at all costs.

Being a type 7 does not give you the right to disappear or flake on the commitments you've made because you see something more exciting on the horizon.

Being a type 8 does not give you the right to coerce or bully others into doing things your way because nobody else wants to take the initiative.

Being a type 9 does not give you the right to expect others to stay close and connected to you, even if doing so hinders their personal development and growth. TC mark