Thought Catalog


When You’re Just Too Fucking Stubborn NOT To Love Each Other

Posted: 06 Mar 2016 08:00 PM PST

Drew Wilson
Drew Wilson

I've long considered my boyfriend of five years (or eight, depending on how you count) the actual Man Of My Dreams. But sometimes, I wonder if we can do forever. I don't doubt that I love him with every morsel of my being. Still, I wonder if we'll make it as a couple long-term simply because shit happens, no matter how much you love each other, and because relationships are hard work.

Our love is the passionate kind, and things between us are often beyond storybook awesome. We are best friends and confidantes. We are each other's biggest supporters and truest fans. We adore each other's bodies and brains. We are aligned in our everyday hopes and future dreams. The sex is unbelievable, the intimacy unmatched, and the bond underlying it all remarkably strong.

But when we fight, things get ugly fast, and we drive each other absolutely insane.

He says the nastiest things, and I let him—goad him, even. Truthfully, I enjoy watching him tumble further and further into darkness, anticipating just how far he'll go each time. It's sickening, really, how much I love witnessing him fall down the rabbit hole.

He can be mean. He can be ruthless. He can be a fucking asshole.

But so can I.

By now, I know all the warning signs. I can see every battle approaching from wherever it's been lurking on the outskirts of our life together, gaining momentum and legitimacy until it's finally triggered by some tiny comment, unwelcome facial expression, or misinterpreted behavior.

Once we get into it, neither of us is really willing to let it go. We bark at each other and stomp around our apartment, competing to hurt each other, insults escalating in cruelty long after sensibility escapes the room. Armed with intimate knowledge of each other's deepest secrets, vulnerabilities, and insecurities, we cut deeper and deeper.

I'm stubborn as fuck, he always says. And he's right.

But so is he.

Could mutual pigheadedness be what keeps us together? And if so, is that such a bad thing?

Humans are complicated beings—sometimes wonderful, sometimes intolerable. If you want lasting love, don't you HAVE to be too stubborn not to give up when the most ghastly version of your partner shows up? Don't you HAVE to be too stubborn not to fall out of love with someone regardless of their most unappealing layers? Don't you HAVE to be too stubborn not to let yourself believe that there's a better option? That your relationship is worth holding onto, in spite of your bleakest moments as a couple?

Stubbornness is powerful.

I know my boyfriend's not going to change. I know he's going to keep being impossible to get along with sometimes. That he's going to keep being a dick when he's overtired or dealing with his ex-wife's shit. That he's going to keep reducing himself to mimicking me mid-argument like a two-year-old might. That he's going to keep ranting in between screaming things he doesn't really mean and then apologize profusely twenty minutes later.

And I am going to keep shutting down when he behaves in a way that I don't like, pretending that I consider it a waste of time to address his accusations, or to deal with him in general. I am going to keep being a raging bitch when I feel attacked. I am going to keep jabbing at his Achilles heel before retreating into my interior world, hiding behind my icy, unbearably pretentious exterior.

Anger. Insult. Injury. Apology. Our pattern is so damn predictable.

Sometimes, it might seem like we don't want to be together. Like we can't stand each other. Like we're intent on making each other miserable.

I'm not too scared or too fragile to take care of myself, I sometimes think. I'm not afraid of finding someone else to love. I'm not afraid to let him go.

Except that I am. I'm also too damn stubborn to—and so is he.

We're both too fucking stubborn not to keep trying harder, not to keep fixing things, not to keep growing together.

Stubbornness is our glue. It binds us together, and it's the reason I'm so damn sure we're capable of forever. TC mark

How To Be The Greatest Antagonist To Your Own Happiness

Posted: 06 Mar 2016 07:00 PM PST

Sophia Sinclair
Sophia Sinclair

Spend your time being fine with things just as they are. Don’t worry about pushing yourself or working towards something better. Instead, just imagine that some distant day in the future, everything will be perfect. You’ll have everything you want, you’ll have achieved everything you want, you’ll have moved into the career path you’ve always secretly yearned for. Bask in this day and allow it to make you feel superior to the other people standing next to you right now. Feel unconcerned about your lackluster job or your repetitive days or the fact that you’re not trying in any way whatsoever; feel unconcerned because you’re convinced that somehow it will all change one day, even though you’re currently doing nothing to get yourself on that track or to inch closer to these dreams and these aspirations right now. Or better yet, feel complete concern about these things and do nothing to fix it, because change is overwhelming.

Live in the idea of what the tomorrows of the future might look like, instead of figuring out how to actually change your life right now. Blame your failures and your stagnation on others, because you would have gotten that job if that other candidate hadn’t gone to the same school as one of the HR employees. You would have gone after the career you really wanted if only someone had told you what internships you should have applied for back in college. You would have a better apartment if your roommate wasn’t so messy. You would have a better group of friends if you lived in a different city.

When you’re unhappy, search for solutions outside yourself. Blow hundreds of dollars on an impulsive shopping spree without really looking at the clothes to closely. Start a Netflix marathon, not because you want to spend time with a friend or relax for a few hours, but because you literally want to forget about your life for a long period of time. Think about how much happier you would be if you had gotten a better job right out of college, and how you’re stuck now and might as well get over it. Get on Instagram and figure out who’s doing better than you and who’s doing worse than you, based on their most recent uploads.

Respond to the person who just texted you at 3:02 a.m. – the one you haven’t heard from since that bar crawl a couple months ago. Let them come over, or just keep them company via text message until they pass out and never contact you again, at least not until the next time it’s 3:02 in the morning. Find a brief and fleeting solace from this experience, or from drinking, or from sex, or from online shopping, or from mindless internet browsing, or from eating, or from whatever else you consume at an unhealthy level because it distracts you just for a moment. Continue doing this thing, even though it makes you feel like crap after the high is over. At least it brings you temporary pleasure, and it gives you a reason to avoid trying to figure out why there’s a hole in your stomach.

Forget the fact that you’re not in this alone, or just ignore it altogether. Forget that there are a lot of people who would understand what you’re going through, that we all get it, because we’re humans, and this is what we do to ourselves. Ignore the fact that I’m writing this because I’ve lived this, and still sometimes do, just as you have lived it, or still are.

Just keep sleeping. It’s easier than looking internally, than letting your mind get quiet enough to hear itself, to hear what it truly wants. Because what if what you truly want is impossible? Or, even more terrifying, what if it is possible, and you’ve run out of excuses as to why you shouldn’t go after it? TC mark

These Are The 7 Things Men Wish Women Knew About Them

Posted: 06 Mar 2016 06:30 PM PST

Unsplash Redd Angelo
Unsplash Redd Angelo

There's a lot more mystery about the opposite sex than there are secrets to the cosmos. But while the tools to understand the secrets of space are all about high-tech accuracy — the Hubble Telescope and Hadron Collider — what tools do we have for understanding the opposite sex? Your mother's 1950s advice about sock hops, Maxim/Cosmo, and Men are From Mars and Women are From Venus. Maybe it's time some brave man (me) crosses the aisle and lets women know a few of the things men really wish women knew about them.

1. MEN THINK WOMEN ARE BEAUTIFUL WITH OR WITHOUT MAKEUP

Men are not attracted to your makeup. They are attracted to your mind, your sense of humor, the adorable snorts when you laugh, the way you sneeze like a baby mouse, your confidence and your beautiful smile. Makeup can be used, like fashion, to express yourself, and you probably wear it more for yourself, and men do appreciate when you want to look "better." But you shouldn't feel like you're not beautiful without it. Because you are mind-blowingly beautiful either with or without it.

2. INTELLIGENCE IS THE NEW BOOB JOB

Women aren't as helpless as your old Pop Pop thinks. Women are CEOs, they are biologists, and they are Secretaries of State, and brains matter more to men than you would believe. A man doesn't want to dance around real conversation; he wants to learn from you more than he wants to "teach" you. He wants to take you out for a drink and be enthralled by what you believe and what you think. Your intelligence is not only attractive, it's straight up sexy!

3. CONFIDENCE IS A BIG DEAL

Some men seek out insecure women because they know they can manipulate them, control them and be a complete asshat to them. A confident woman will save herself not only from asshats but also a gazillion dollars on beauty products she doesn't even need, because confidence gives you a glow better than any BB cream or bronzer (or whatever). A confident air will make a man second-take faster than any Pantene Pro V bouncy hair shimmering in the sunlight.

4. MEN HAVE FEELINGS TOO

Men may not like to talk about feelings very often, but they also know how important talking about them is. Sometimes being a stoic, quiet, moody caveman is how you handle a horrible boss or an overbearing relative. But feeling like you're failing, and stressing about bills, is nothing a man wants to carry around like a third testicle. All he needs is a glass of whiskey and a kiss at an empty table. Whiskey and kisses are a thousand times better than "What's Wrong?" … anything is better than "What's wrong?" It's that little weasel word "wrong." No one wants to talk about anything "wrong," so after whiskey and a kiss, ask what's going on, and we may feel more like talking than having to explain what's "wrong."

5. MAKE HIM LAUGH AND HE WILL SWOON

A sense of humor, a sharp-edged wit, even being a smart-ass, is a kind of sexy that a man just can't resist. Being funny is a mastery of human relation; that's how someone as lame as Seinfeld got famous. Finding someone who tickles your funny bone is a true and honest connection. It's a welcoming shock when you find someone genuinely funny, it's connecting on a whole other level. Men don't always expect a woman to make him laugh, so the impact it has on him is immeasurable.

6. MEN AREN'T THAT DUMB

Men are more complex than Homer Simpson, Al Bundy and every single guy in a TV commercial could suggest. They know that your friends can sometimes be catty, that you need to be complimented when you look good, and even more when you don't think you do (but we think you do). We get nuance, needs, and the complexity of relationships, we do. And sometimes, we get it right, without even trying very hard.

7. CUDDLING IS HEAVEN ON EARTH

Intimacy isn't taboo anymore. Men love the feel of a woman's skin, the feel of their breath. There was a time not too long ago when a man was considered a total wuss if he liked to cuddle. They'd huff and puff and act like they were doing you a favor holding you. Some men still think this is true, but most don't. If say they don't want to cuddle, they're faking it like David Lee Roth's singing. That no-cuddles man will huff and puff, protest, then fall asleep in your arms like a baby.TC mark

10 Different Types Of Friends Every Girl Needs In Her Life

Posted: 06 Mar 2016 06:00 PM PST

Twenty20 laurelklein
Twenty20 laurelklein

1. The childhood bestie.

She's your person, your best friend and your sister. She knows too much about you ever since you were 10. She is the one who has been through thick and thin with you and will always be in your life. She is your soul sister.

2. The crazy one.

The one who is up for anything. She is the one who pushes you to do unusual things and break the rules. She is the one you call when you are indecisive about making a bad decision because you know she will encourage you to go ahead and do it. She is the one you always have fun with no matter what's going on in your life.

3. The mother.

She is the one who takes care of you and all her other friends. She makes sure she has everything you can think of in her purse; in case of emergency. She always has an extra charger, a Band-Aid, Airborne, and anything you might need. She is your parent's favorite because she keeps you out of trouble.

4. The brutally honest one.

She is the one who tells it like it is-no sugar coating whatsoever. She is the one who will tell you the guy you like is a douche, or you are a douche or whatever comes to her mind. She is your reality check.

5. The dating expert.

AKA Samantha from SATC. She's dated the entire universe and is the source of all your dating tips and tricks. She has dated all sorts of guys and knows how to spot a liar, a cheater, a player or a keeper. She is your ideal wing woman.

6. The hustler.

She is the one who knows how to make things happen. She is killing at work, at the gym, or at the groceries. She knows all the shortcuts, all the sales and all the events that are happening that no one knows about. She is the one who is always traveling and meeting prominent people. She is definitely the one you go to talk about your dreams because she will connect you with all the right people or get you an upgrade practically anywhere.

7. The funny one.

The one with all the jokes and the stories; she never runs out of stories that crack everyone up. She is also the sarcastic one who will make fun of your boyfriend, your clothes, your new friend, your car and anything that she feels like mocking. She is one you chill with even if you don't feel like being around people.

8. Your favorite coworker.

She is your work bestie. You go to lunch together, you are always chatting on the company's messenger, you bitch about your bosses together, and you have explored every single happy hour spot in the city. You know that she will be your friend for life even if you get a new job.

9. The long lost-twin.

The one you met recently but clicked with right away. You keep discovering how much you two have in common and your relationship is just a bunch of high-fives and ME TOOs. She is one you feel like you've known forever and you can easily understand each other really since you two are essentially the same person.

10. The dude.

Your boy. Your sidekick. Your wing man. He is your best guy friend who decided to accept and love the mess you are. He is your go to person when you are in trouble, when you want to have a good time, when you need guy advice or when you simply can't keep with all the 'girls' drama. He plays a very important role in your life. TC mark

10 ISTJs Explain The Ways In Which They Defy The ISTJ Stereotype

Posted: 06 Mar 2016 05:30 PM PST

Christopher Campbell
Christopher Campbell

1. “I do not always stick to traditions. I like new experiences and new opinions if they are thought through well enough.”

beetlejuice

2. “ISTJs are typically depicted as dry, but I am rather sassy. My friend once told me I was the sassiest person they’d ever met.”

beetlejuice

3. “I’m not nearly as much of a time keeper as my type says I am. I’m very flexible with time and plans and can adapt accordingly. I’m also not really big into traditions. I like new things and don’t always follow the rules. Especially if they don’t make sense to me.”

beetlejuice

4. “I am very willing to find new and better ways to accomplish tasks. And I’m so nurturing for the people I love while still respecting the people I’m not directly responsible for.”

beetlejuice

5. “I’ve read that ISTJs have some sort of morality complex where they think they’re more principled than others. I don’t think that at all – in fact, I’m probably more free than other women in the bedroom simply because I don’t get feelings easily so I’m not worried about getting hurt.”

beetlejuice

6. “I like to gather information, but I am not interested in history.”

beetlejuice

7. “I consider myself to be highly adventurous. I enjoy taking on new experiences, I just take the time and effort to ensure that I am adequately prepared for those experiences should anything go wrong.”

beetlejuice

8. “The ISTJ stereotypes imply that I should be wary of new experiences and prefer sticking to what I know, but this is far from the truth. I enjoy organizing events in my community and I am often the one to present the ideas for new events. I can stir the pot when I know that it is the right thing to do.”

beetlejuice

9. “I am very invested in my personal relationships with people and I am very friendly for an introvert. I believe in treating everyone with decency and respect, which means that I go out of my way to make sure that others are comfortable and being treated right.”

beetlejuice

10. “I may come off as cold or withdrawn but I am actually a huge softie – just as my family or friends!” TC mark

beetlejuice

Pick up Heidi’s new book “How You’ll Do Everything Based On Your Personality Type” here.

evrything

10 Unapologetic Things Opinionated Women Don’t Feel Bad About

Posted: 06 Mar 2016 05:00 PM PST

phiasinclair
phiasinclair

1. If there's a topic you're super passionate about, you will NEVER back down.

You have that one conversation topic that triggers heated discussions, not necessarily arguments, but healthy debates. You freely express your views on the topics that are most important to you, and if someone brings them up you sure as hell are going to say something.

2. You think your opinion is worth hearing, but you don’t think it’s always right.

You might joke with your friends that you’re never wrong, but you don’t actually believe it. Your opinionated personality understands that your view matters, but you also understand other people’s opinions are of equal importance. You hope others respect your beliefs just like you respect theirs.

3. You won't always agree with someone else, but you listen and consider their ideas nonetheless.

No one would describe you as agreeable, but you’re never too good to at least listen. You might not always agree, but you don’t label one view wrong or right, you accept that there’s a wide array of thinking.

4. You love a challenge.

And not just when it comes to disagreeing with other’s opinions. You’re unafraid to express your values just like you’re unafraid to accept the challenges that lie ahead of you. Your ability to dispute other people’s ideas influences your ability to handle any and every challenge in life.

5. You're not afraid to ask questions.

When you don’t understand someone or something you don’t pretend that you do, you ask the necessary questions to prevent miscommunication. In school you were the kid who fully embraced the idea that there is no stupid question, and as often as your teachers told you this is as often as you would ask questions that bordered the ‘stupid’ line. You like when others ask about your ideas to avoid misunderstanding, so you do the same for them. It never hurts to ask.

6. You admit to your weaknesses.

You know that you’re not perfect, and your opinions aren’t either. You feel that admitting to your weaknesses actually makes you stronger because you have the courage to prominently express when you feel you’re doing right, but you also have the humility to admit when you know you’ve done something wrong.

7. You can talk someone's ear off, but you're also a good listener.

You realize you tend to talk a lot especially in heated discussions, but you’re equally skilled at listening as you are at talking. You might become angry when someone cuts you off in conversation, but you’re willing to listen to whatever is so important in making them do so.

8. You're extremely curious.

Your curiosity is a side effect of your desire to always fully understand someone, and when you can’t understand someone or their opinion, you continue to become more curious until you do.

9. Authority doesn't prevent you from speaking your mind.

Which can get you into some sticky situations, particularly when it comes to law enforcement or your place of employment. It’s fantastic to speak up and be heard, but when it comes to authority doing so in a respectful manner is a very important boundary to be wary of.

10. You don’t allow the judgement of other’s to prevent you from speaking up.

You don’t let the fear of how other’s will respond to your opinions keep you from expressing them. It may have taken you some time, but you’ve mastered the art of caring less about what other’s think, and more about how great it feels to be completely yourself. TC mark

The Problem With First Dates (Or, How To Really Really Really Not Get Laid)

Posted: 06 Mar 2016 04:30 PM PST

Paolo Raeli
Paolo Raeli

The first problem
is that we are at Tony Roma's.
Don't get me wrong,
I will eat the fuck out of some ribs,
but every person in this room
looks exactly like my dad, &

The second problem
is that I have not had sex
since the first Twilight movie came out,
which means that a fictional Mormon girl
has made out with a vampire,
made out with a werewolf,
thrown herself off a cliff,
gone to Italy,
gotten married,
and had a demon baby
claw its way out of her vagina
since I last had an orgasm
with another person in the room,
and now
there are a hundred of my dad
staring at me,
slurping shrimp cocktail
and I need to say something.
"Did you know that whales
can only have sex
in groups of three?"

The third problem
is that I just said,
"Do you know that whales
can only have sex
in groups of three,"
and he says
…what…
and I say,
“YES! Because
they can't actually swim and fuck
at the same time,
so a third whale comes along
to hold them aloft as they do it,
like a blubbery sex table!”
and this
is really where the date should end,
because,
blubbery sex table,
how do you top that?
Don't worry,
it's by pulling out my phone
and saying,
"Look! I'll show you!"

The fourth problem
is that Googling "Whale Sex Groups"
will not yield the results
you were looking for.

The fifth problem
is that when I drink too much,
I start thinking about a man
I haven't spoken to in two years.
I used to think
being in love with someone
meant being the person
they were going to grow old
at Tony Roma's with,
but I was wrong.
Being in love
is so much easier
from across a room.
Or a small town.
Or two years of radio silence,
and I sometimes wonder
if this way of loving someone
is my best way of loving someone,
with miles and miles between us,
like how you can still find
the North Star every time–
you never wonder
if it can pick you out of a crowd,
or if it still remembers all the words
to the first Stones song
you ever danced to,
you just want to be able to see it
from far away,
knowing that if you got any closer,
odds are you'd catch on fire.

He has a wife now.
She has his last name
and a house with a fireplace
and when he comes home from work
he goes to sleep in a bed
that is Their Bed.
And three weeks after
he cut his losses,
I traded our bed in for a single
because it felt more like a choice,
like I was choosing to go to bed alone
rather than trying to fall asleep
with the entire night sky next to me,
beckoning me to fall back into it,
because I lied,
before,
when I said it was easier
to love someone from a distance.

It isn't easier.
It is just smaller,
more convenient to fit
into a back pocket,
or a time capsule,
or that place
between the bed and the wall,
that place you're still afraid
monsters will crawl out of,
like he left a piece of himself with you
and you are terrified
he is coming back for it;
Or he left a piece of himself with you
and you are terrified
he is not coming back for it.

The sixth problem
is that when a new man tells you
he likes you too much
already,
it doesn't sound like a promise.
It sounds like a smoke alarm,
warning you to get out fast–
If you hurry,
you might miss the worst of it. TC mark

This post originated here.

5 Guaranteed Ways To Turn A Guy On That That Will Make You Irresistible In The Bedroom

Posted: 06 Mar 2016 04:00 PM PST

Cody Cardilla
Cody Cardilla

If you’re serious about improving your love life, then you have to learn how to turn a guy on. The problem is that different guys get turned on by different things.

Some guys love being the dominant partner in bed, while others like being totally submissive. Most, however, prefer a mixture of the two: sometimes being the dominant partner, sometimes being the more submissive partner.

There are hundreds of different kinks and fetishes that your man might get incredibly turned on by. He might love to see you dress up in sexy, skimpy clothing or he might like when you dress up as his favorite video game character, or maybe he likes nothing more than when you lick his toes — seriously! There really are hundreds of different fetishes and no end to kinky ideas.

Let’s start with a basic lesson on how to turn a guy on.

1. A Dirty Mouth

There are ton of different ways to talk dirty to your man depending on what you’re most comfortable with. You can take the wild route by being really explicit and descriptive when talking dirty to your man — basically, saying the most nastiest, trashiest, most kinky things you can think of.

But you can take the complete opposite route when talking dirty too. If you want, be really polite and not explicit at all. Here are a few examples of being polite with your dirty talk.

“When I get you back to your room, I’m going to give you something you’ve only ever dreamed of.”

“I bet that no matter how hard you try, you can’t guess what color bra I’m wearing.”

“If I didn’t have to go to work today, I’d totally spend the whole day in bed with you.”

2. Oral Sex, Anyone?

This pretty much goes without saying, but guys absolutely adore getting oral sex. A huge amount of guys even prefer getting a blow job to regular sex.

So if you are truly serious about turning him on, then you should start learning some decent oral sex techniques.

3. Tell Him What You Like

Telling your man what you like and enjoy him doing in bed serves two purposes. It lets him know what techniques and positions get you off the most while massaging your man’s ego in a subtle way.

If you like him making love to you in a certain position or using a certain technique or kissing you in a certain way, then let him know. Describe what it is about it that turns you on, and try to use as much detail as possible.

4. Take The Initiative

Your man might find it really hot when you take a little bit of control and initiate things. So, if your man is usually the one who starts things in the bedroom, then without mentioning it to him, change things up and be the one who initiates things.

5. Find Out His Kinks And Fetishes

If you truly want to turn your man on in a way that no other woman can, then you need to find out his kinks and fetishes. But for guys, these are often something really personal and private.

Guys are usually very nervous and shy about revealing them to anyone, so if you surprise him and directly ask him what really turns him on and what his kinks are, then he might try to dodge the question. So my first advice is to avoid asking him about them directly.

Instead, I suggest you be indirect in your questioning. Wait until you’re both in bed. Right before sex is the perfect time.

Start by telling your man about some of your tamer kinks and turn ons. If could be him being very aggressive in bed or him going down on you. Then, if he seems to like hearing about them, tell him about your deeper fantasies and turn ons. After talking about your kinks for a while, it’s time to find out his.

Rather than asking him really directly about what his turn ons are, be indirect. For example:

“I bet you love it when I’m dominant and in control in the bedroom.”

“Do you prefer me going down on you or using my hands?”

Once he starts opening up, he’ll hopefully volunteer his turn ons to you. But, if he doesn’t open up, then start to explore further with more indirect questions like these:

“I have a sneaking suspicion that you’d like to see me with another girl.”

“I bet that you’d get really turned on by doing it in public.” TC mark

This post originally appeared at YourTango.

YourTango HeartShoosh

How To Love A Best Friend Who Doesn’t Love Herself

Posted: 06 Mar 2016 03:30 PM PST

wundervisuals
wundervisuals

Patience: a most necessary virtue. Especially with your best friend.

The difficulty of having a best friend who truly believes they deserve nothing is a tough one. You see so many things inside them, great things, or things that could be great but are terribly underutilized.

You must often keep your favorite qualities about her hidden in the back of your mind because there's no way that she'd believe you if you voiced them. Telling her how great you think she is becomes an argument you never win. Being her best friend is many great things, but effortless isn't one of them.

It's watching her make bad decisions but trusting she'll learn from her mistakes on her own, and holding back the "I told you so" when she does. It's being unapologetically protective of her when she spends time with men who won't see her worth.

It's being accepting when she pushes you away, but happily responding when she makes the effort. It's not responding badly to her attitudes because you know it's not about you. It's being unsupportive of her bad habits but not judging her because of them. It's listening to the immaturity surrounding her other acquaintances, and accepting that sometimes she chooses them over you.

It means loving her despite the silence, when you don't hear from her for long periods of time. It's about setting aside the time to write about how wonderful she really is instead of taking your frustrations out elsewhere.

It's defending her, defending her, and defending her because you, and possibly only you, know her heart and her true intentions. It's forgiving her without telling her she did anything wrong. It's supporting her dreams and her wishes and going above and beyond to make her happy. It's loving every line on the indentations on her skin, but not asking about them. It's appreciating every minute you spend together because you don't know when the next one will be. It's patience, it's grace, and it's never stepping down and never giving in. Perhaps most importantly, it's staying when she pushes you away.

It truly is work meeting worth, for like relationships, friendships take effort too. Because the fact that you stay when you could have all the reasons in the world to leave will someday teach her that she is worth staying for. It isn't saving her, or parenting her; it's simply being kind. It's being empathetic about how she feels while acknowledging that you could never truly know how it feels to be in her shoes.

Loving a self-deprecating best friend is easy. Knowing she doesn't love herself is the hard part. TC mark

If You Could Be Art

Posted: 06 Mar 2016 03:00 PM PST

Una Laurenci
Una Laurenci

If you could be art, then I would study you. I would trace my fingertips over your textured edges, feel the ink, the rough chunks of paint in the creases of my palm.

I would bask in all the colors of you. The blues for when you are sullen and quiet. The yellows for when your heart is light and open. The reds for when your mind is rushed and angry.

My eyes would soak in all the patterns of you, the way your body swirls and coalesces. The way your lines and curves billow, twist, blend, and transform.

I would put my lips to your canvas, taste where the sweat dripped from the paintbrush, and the thick, metallic earthiness of your skin.

I would run my tongue over the ridges of your beautifully crafted surface, kiss where the colors meet the edge of the frame. Claim it all as mine.

If you could be art, I would love you, near and far. Hold you, then let you go. I would pull myself away to see you from a distance, see the way your colors and lines mix, where your shadows darken, where the pieces of you tell a story.

And then I would rewrite myself into you. TC mark