Thought Catalog

50 Phrases That Would Immeditely Turn Women On If Men Would Actually Say Them

Posted: 10 Apr 2016 08:00 PM PDT

Jesse Herzog
Jesse Herzog


I'm going to go down on you, and I won't even let you think about returning the favor.


I cleaned the kitchen today, so I'd have room to fuck you on the table.


Your ass looks just as amazing in those sweatpants as it does in your little black dress.


I love playing with your hair… And your pussy.


Do you want a back massage, a foot massage, or both?


I'd put on music, but I don't want to drown out the sounds of your sexy little moans.


Don't stop me once you come, because I'm planning on giving you multiple orgasms today.


I bought you a new vibrator so I can thrust and play with your clit at the same time.


Do you care if my tongue is between your legs when you wake up in the morning?


Your mind is just as sexy as your tight little body.


I can't decide if your tits or your pussy is more delicious. Give me another taste.


I bought some handcuffs and a blindfold. Should I put them on you or me?


I baked you some dessert, so you can eat it while I eat you.


Do you want to have sex in bed or in the bath I just made you?


I had a hard-on all day, because I couldn't stop thinking of that beautiful face.


Your laugh turns me on even more than your tits do.


I stuck your clothes in the washer, and now I'm going to fuck you on top of it.


I've never gotten so horny just by kissing someone.


Do you want me to wake you up with breakfast in bed or oral?


I tidied up the bedroom, but I don't mind if you mess up the sheets with me.


I had to shut off my porn, because none of the girls in it were as attractive as you.


I'll do anything you want me to do, as long as you keep looking at me like that.


Do you want me to use my British or Irish accent tonight?


The feeling I get when you kiss me is even better than an orgasm.


I never thought I'd have a woman this stunning sharing the bed with me.


You deserve to relax, so I'm going to do all the work tonight.


Put me out of my misery and open up those long legs for me.


I'm dying to have sex with you, but you better cuddle me after.


Try not to ruin your manicure when you dig those nails into my back.


Want to bet on how many times I can make you orgasm in one night?


I can't believe I get to call your beautiful body mine.


Let me show you how much I love you with my hips and lips.


I'm never going to stop telling you how hot you are, so you better get used to it.


We're having sex in the car tonight, but you can pick where we park.


Do you want me to wear my suit or leather jacket?


Get on your back. I'll take care of the rest.


Are you ready for a Magic Mike style strip tease?


I turned on Netflix for you, but you might have trouble concentrating while my tongue is circling your clit.


Tell me what I should do to you, because you're in charge tonight.


I'll put on any music you want, and then throw you into any position you want.


I made us dessert, but I want to eat it off of you.


Press those soft lips against every inch of my body.


I'm going to remember this moment when I'm jacking off later.


Your ass looks even sexier than the first time I saw it.


I bought you a bottle of wine, but that's not the only surprise I have in store for you.


Get ready to be treated like the sexy, sultry woman you are.


Let me dominate you, so you don't have to do any thinking tonight.


How can a woman be so adorable and sexy at the same time?


I want to see how long we can foreplay for before we can't take it anymore.


I'm so lucky that the best sex I've ever had happens to be with the love of my life. TC mark

The Day I Found Forever Had An Expiration Date

Posted: 10 Apr 2016 07:00 PM PDT

Sanja Marušić

Here I go once again, trying to fix something
I didn’t break, “Why?” you keep asking me,
I can’t give answers to questions that
don’t have any,
and even if they did, you wouldn’t accept them.

Here I go once again, trying to change your mind
when I know you won’t, I can’t be happy unless
you are too and you love being miserable,
what am I to do? “Let’s talk!” I keep shouting
but you have nothing to fight for anymore.

Here I go once again, waiting all day for a simple
yes or no, “Maybe” is all you say,
Please tell me if I should pack my bags or should I
try my best for you once again?
I can’t keep going in circles like this, I’m losing myself.

“Let me go,” is what I keep telling you,
but you don’t want to, you’re selfish and you’re scared,
I understand, I understand, but I’m worn out and afraid,
I can’t stand being in the wrong every time you make a mistake.
I have to stand up for myself this time.

“Goodbye,” is all I wrote in a note
and taped it to our door,
“Whatever you want,” is what you said
in the brief voicemail,
and “This is for the best,” I told myself
and to you
and all our friends, “we weren’t compatible anyway.”

But we both know we meant “forever” when we said it back then.
Who knew forever had an expiration date? TC mark

The Realization That Will Trigger Your Quarter-Life Crisis, Based On Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type

Posted: 10 Apr 2016 06:30 PM PDT

Oscar Keys
Oscar Keys

ENTP and ENFP – The realization that life is too short for them to experience absolutely everything they want to experience before they die.

Types that lead with extroverted intuition are ceaselessly possibility-oriented, and take a "Try everything once" approach to life. By the time they've hit a quarter of a century or so, however, the ENxPs of the world are beginning to realize that the time they have on earth is limited – and that they may not have time to cash in on absolutely every pipe dream that they have established for themselves.

The realization that they may have to start discriminating between appealing plans for the future is enough to launch the possibility-oriented ENxP types into full-on crisis mode – and elicit a quarter-life crisis.

ISFP and INFP – The realization that everything may not happen for a reason after all.

Types that lead with introverted feeling are naturally in tune with the deeper meaning behind everything that happens to them – often believing that there is some form of Universal plan governing their lives.

However, by the time their first quarter of a century on earth has passed, this type has often witnessed enough senseless occurrences to make them start second-guessing whether everything really does happen for a reason after all – or if life is, in large part, just senseless and random. This consideration is significant enough to ricochet the pensive IxFP types into serious existential crisis mode.

ISTP and INTP – The realization that truth and rationality are not necessarily governing forces in society.

Types that lead with introverted thinking are on a never-ending quest for truth, understanding and clarity – and they don't see why the rest of the world wouldn't be.

However, by the time they've been around for a quarter of a century or so, it starts to sink for these types that the world around them often prioritizes emotion and convenience well above logic.

When IxTPs begin to realize that they may have to behave illogically in order to achieve traditional versions of 'success,' they are forced into the mind-numbing quarter-life dilemma of wanting to continue their search for truth at all costs, but also wanting to eat and pay rent.

INFJ and INTJ – The realization that the ideal circumstances they've been attempting to cultivate their entire lives may not exist.

Types that lead with introverted intuition are simultaneously idealistic and perfectionistic in nature. INxJs have clear visions of the futures that they hope to achieve – and for the first portions of their lives they are ceaselessly scouting their environments for opportunities to make these ideals a reality.

However, by the time their mid-twenties roll around, many Ni-dominant types are starting to realize that their visions of an ideal partner, job or lifestyle are incompatible with the world that surrounds them – and that they may have to compromise on one or more of their ideals.

The realization that the INxJ cannot 'have it all' is enough to provide them with a significant source of existential angst as they approach their first quarter of a century on earth.

ESFJ and ENFJ – The realization that they may always be the one who loves more.

Types that lead with extroverted feeling are consistently focused on the needs and desires of those around them. And although these types do genuinely enjoy giving out love without ulterior motives, most of them harbour the secret hope that they will eventually meet someone who caters to their needs and desires in the same way as they cater to others.

However, after the first twenty-five years of giving out love, these types often come to realize that they are simply in tune with others needs in ways that the majority of the people around them are not. The realization that they may never be loved back in the exact same way as they love others is one that can send any ExFJ type into an existential tailspin.

ESTJ and ENTJ – The realization that a large proportion of what affects them in life will be entirely outside of their control.

Types that lead with extroverted thinking are highly proficient at spinning chaotic situations into controlled ones. They are keenly in control of their environments at most points in time – and this is exactly where they're comfortable.

However, by the time they approach a quarter of a century on earth, ExTJs have undoubtedly experienced at least one significant upset in their lives that was entirely outside of their control. The experience of being completely unable to alter a situation that has a significant impact on their emotional or physical wellbeing is a difficult one for the ExTJ to swallow – and one that is more than capable of inducing a quarter-life crisis.

ISFJ and ISTJ – The realization that life doesn't follow the plan they've been trained on their entire lives.

Types that lead with introverted sensing are excellent at adhering to pre-decided courses of action. Growing up, these types enjoyed the structure of attending school in order to achieve the job of their choosing upon graduation and following other such plans that society had pre-decided for them.

However, by the time they approach their first quarter of a century on earth, the ISxJ is doubtlessly beginning to realize that life is infinitely more chaotic than they were told it would be – and the sheer amount of choice that is available to them in their external environment is enough to induce some serious stress in these structured types by the time they hit their mid twenties.

ESFP and ESTP – The realization that they can't fly by the seat of their pants forever.

Types that lead with extroverted sensing are notoriously focused on the here and now. They enjoy running with whichever opportunities present themselves in the moment and therefore often shy away from making concrete long-term plans.

However, by the time these types approach the first quarter century of their lives, they are beginning to realize that long-term plans are a necessity for their survival – and they have to map out the next years of their lives if they do not want to get entirely left in the dust. To these free-spirited types, the thought of eliminating potential options drives them mad – and is enough to elicit a serious quarter-life crisis. TC mark

The ‘Naked Diaries’ Instagram Is The Most Beautiful, Body-Positive Account On The Internet

Posted: 10 Apr 2016 06:15 PM PDT


The Naked Diaries is an Instagram account started by Taylor Giavasis that celebrates female empowerment and body positivity. Each picture showcases encouragement—quotes, drawings, photographs, and real bodies—and each caption shares a woman's* struggle of loving herself. From self-harm, to weight issues, to birth defects, this account reveals the pain, fear, and bumpy road to self-acceptance in a way that's tangible and real.

The Naked Diaries:

One woman shares about her abusive past and finding the strength to forgive.

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This woman proclaims her new sense of self-confidence.

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This woman openly shows her scars.

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One woman talks about her struggle with self-harm, and her journey to finding love.

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Another woman confesses he hatred she felt towards her body for many years.

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This woman discusses her sexual assault, and how she's working every single day to move past it.

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This woman shows her skin condition, and how, despite it, she is starting to love her body.

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This woman talks about her painful battle with depression and self-harm.

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One woman proclaims that her body is a canvas.

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Another woman encourages others, saying that stretch marks are beautiful imperfections.

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This woman puts on spin on her skin condition, and sees it in a positive light.

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This woman shares about her pregnancy, and how even in her struggle with self-image, she is trying to love her future child.

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One woman talks openly about her suicide attempt and how she has decided to confront her demons.

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One woman is open about her skin disease, the bullying of her childhood, and her struggle of being comfortable with who she is.

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This woman fights against society's expectations of 'perfection' and 'flawlessness.'

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This woman talks about her anxiety, eating disorder, and self-hatred, but how she is continually working to get better.

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And this woman talks about how she has learned to see her body as art—literally, and figuratively. Her artwork. Beautiful artwork. TC mark

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*This Instagram account also features pictures of males and male-related empowerment. But I have chosen, for this piece, to focus on women.

Sext: This Is What You Do To My Body

Posted: 10 Apr 2016 06:00 PM PDT


I don’t often run into people I’d like to kiss.
My mouth is a terribly stingy thing,
the way she wants to fall in love
the way she wants to lock lips
only if it means

I thought about auctioning off my heart,
giving her to a more accepting body.
I thought about running to the forest,
to stop worrying that I was incapable
of letting go
and letting in,
to grow evergreen and stop fretting.

But then you,
you appear all sunken chest and full moon lipped.
You turn me back into something primal,
I’m on all fours
dripping strawberry juice
all over my white button up,
why don’t you come and see?
Come taste me. TC mark

I Know It’s A Bad Idea, But I Want You In My Bed Again

Posted: 10 Apr 2016 05:30 PM PDT

Kayla Pfob
Kayla Pfob

1. In my mind, things are different.

I'm not stupid. I know we would never work. When I fantasize about us, it's not really us. It's a picture perfect image of what I wish we could be. Of what we would be if we were starring in some shitty romcom on the Hallmark Channel. I'm just fooling myself, but those daydreams help me get through the day.

2. The little moments mattered the most.

It wasn't just about the sex. It was about the way you'd press your body against mine, complaining that you'd fall asleep if I kept running my hands through your hair. The way my own hair would get tangled in your glasses whenever we kissed. The way your lips would press against my forehead and cheeks, your body admitting things you'd never say aloud.

3. I'm sick of everything that dating stands for.

Quite frankly, I'm done with flirting. I don't want men to send me messages about my ass on Tinder. I don't want to go on awkward first dates that never lead to a second. And I most certainly don't want to text a "great guy" for months, only to find out he's a fuckboy like the rest of them. I'd rather skip all of that crap and be back with you.

4. There's something different about you.

Yes, it's cliché, but whenever someone else kisses my neck in the spot that used to be reserved for you, it just doesn't feel right. I don't get the same chills or form the same smile. My body's addicted to yours and no other drug will do.

5. Yes, the sex was good, too.

I'm not going to lie about it. Your hands alone were better than my best vibrator. Finding someone to make me orgasm as hard as you did is almost as impossible as finding someone to make me laugh as hard as you did.

6. I like to torture myself.

I'm a masochist when it comes to men. That's what it comes down to. It doesn't matter how many times I replay the shitty things you've done to me, because I still want you. There's no way to get the idea of you out of my head. Believe me. I've tried it all.

7. I'm trying to look at things logically.

I miss you for the right reasons (because you sent me good morning texts and made me feel special), but I also miss you for the wrong reasons (because you were pure eye candy and stopped me from being single). What I'm saying is, we weren't the worst couple. I have just as many legitimate reasons for missing you as BS ones.

8. Honestly, I don't really want you back.

I don't want you. Not exactly. I want the old you in bed with the old me. The version of me who trusted you, because it was back before the fights and the lies and the tears. I want to be back at our beginning, because I know how our story will end. It already has.TC mark

It’s Time We Talked About The Bruises On Our Hearts

Posted: 10 Apr 2016 05:00 PM PDT

Drew Wilson
Drew Wilson

In the dead of night when your breathing slows to a crawl beside me and your mind escapes to somewhere I can’t go,
I like to lie awake and wonder
who it was that bruised you first.

I wonder what her name was and whether
it's still woven through your bloodstream like a poison,
I wonder if your body
Is still aching for her inside of every other person you touch and if your heart
is still quietly breaking wide open
with every beat it takes.

In the dead of night when all our thoughts are quiet, I like to trace your bleary history with my mind and I wonder
If there is somebody out there
Whom you are still hoping will return.

I wonder whether your heart's at full capacity,
Ruthlessly deleting new content like a phone that's reached its limit,
collecting only colorless images and preserving all the brilliance
of the past.

Late in the nighttime, when your mind is lost beside me,
I like to linger in the badlands of my bruises,
Pressing gently on the pockets where my histories have pooled and taking care to keep preserving you
solely in black and white stills.

In the evenings I lie awake and ponder
Whether we both have scars that we do not care to uncover and

In the dead of night I wonder
If we are both only here because the people that we hoped we’d spend our lives with
Are not. TC mark

How It Feels To Be The Girl You Didn’t Pick

Posted: 10 Apr 2016 04:30 PM PDT


I was the girl who was always evasive, shy, and unattainable because of my standoffishness. In my head, I told myself it was because I was intelligent and intimidating, and I let this sweep over me, permeating my thoughts and clouding my judgment. Naturally, it was a nasty wake-up call to not be someone's first choice. So when I—the girl who avoids conflict and always calls the shots—wasn't in control of the situation, it left me stranded.

There's a quote by Johnny Depp that goes, "If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn’t have fallen for the second." I told myself this was completely accurate. Why would you ever want to be anyone's second choice? It shows how much you value yourself and sets a low price on your self-worth.

But it's one thing when you are the one they choose. It's completely another when you're the one left out in the cold, peering in from the outside on what could have been. For those like me who wind up the second choice, we always feel as though it was something we did, didn't do, or could have done better.

My mother asked me: "Did you do something to scare him away?" And at the time I pondered it, deep down wondering if maybe I had been too open, or not funny enough, or simply too invested in my own life. But I answered her as defiantly as I could: "No of course not. Who knows?"

Maybe he didn't choose me because he only liked the idea of me. Maybe it's because he thought I was different and special, the kind of girl who makes your head spin, and you tell your parents about because there's just something inherently indefinable about her—something you can't put your finger on because she makes your stomach ache with butterflies. But then the more I opened up, the more you pulled away. Was I supposed to leave an air of mystery? Maybe she did. Maybe she's everything I'm not. I can't compete with that.

Everyone says you weren't good enough for me. On paper, I suppose it's true. Far too busy and detached for someone like me, who thrives on openness and communication with other people.

Someday the storm clouds will part and the sun will smile down on me, reminding me that I'm above this. Until then I'm learning how to dance in the rain, allowing the water to wash away the sting of your rejection. TC mark

When I Was Sixteen

Posted: 10 Apr 2016 04:01 PM PDT

Jeff Isy
Jeff Isy

When I was sixteen, I lost my virginity to a boy who showed me that I too could be loved. He showed me that there are people in this world who truly do have good intentions and mean no harm. He showed me what it meant to be gentle with my heart as well as what a girl should be treated like on a daily basis. He made sure I always got home safe after school and after late night football games. He made sure to remind me how much he cared about me day in and out. He constantly left notes hidden in between my notebooks and regularly whispered sappy things into my ear. He loved to shower me with gifts to show his affection (even when I turned them down). He made sure I knew that he would respect me and that I could trust him. He made sure to never cross any lines physically and emotionally. Most importantly, he made sure to never hurt me in any form. Truth is, he made me his world, but to me he was nothing more than my first boyfriend. With his love I learned that you cannot force yourself to love someone no matter how strong their love for you is. One of my favorite John Green quotes is, "You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have some say in who hurts you." I'd like to believe that I was his choice. I hurt him because I couldn't love him back no matter how strong his love was. In the end, I learned that sometimes we hurt good people without meaning to.TC mark

8 Quotes That Explain Why The Happiest People Are Fools That Dance In The Rain

Posted: 10 Apr 2016 03:30 PM PDT


The sun is such hot shit these days. Everyone's racing to the beach to catch some rays or climbing mountains to get even closer to the sun or amping up on social media about getting out of work to celebrate, like, the most perfect sunny day #sunsoutgunsout #isworkoveryet #pooldreams.

But what happens when it rains? Complaining. Whining. Gallons of haterade consumed in ignorance of the simple elegance, the peaceful magic, that is a rainy day. You might get excited about a thunderstorm, nature's fireworks show, but you probably won't do much but act like Eeyore when it rains all day. I know it may sound difficult to be the cheerleader of a weather known for ruining good hair days and inciting traffic accidents, but hear me out.

Have you ever noticed how green the world gets right before it rains? Have you ever opened your arms out like your Taylor Swift in a Taylor Swift Music Video and let the rain crash on you and your feelings? Have you ever noticed the intricate patterns that rain drops make on windows, or how libraries feel instantly more magical when it rains? Try it some time. I promise, you won't be disappointed.

So, in celebration of the most hated-on type of weather, here are eight quotes from smart people on the beauty of rain, the often-ignored and regularly misunderstood middle sister of sunshine and snow.

"Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder." – Rumi


"Do not be angry with the rain. It simply does not know how to fall upwards." – Vladimir Nabokov


"Look at the rain long enough, with no thoughts in your head, and you gradually feel your body falling loose, shaking free of the world of reality. Rain has the power to hypnotize." – Haruki Murakami


"Kiss me with rain on your eyelashes, come on, let us sway together, under the trees, and to hell with thunder." ― Edwin Morgan


"Love like rain, can nourish from above, drenching couples with a soaking joy." – Paulo Coelho


"Winnie watched the sky slide into blackness over the wood outside her window. There was not the least hint of a breeze to soften the heavy August night. And then, over the treetops, on the faraway horizon, there was a flash of white. Heat lightning. Again and again it throbbed, without a sound. It was like pain, she thought. And suddenly she longed for a thunderstorm." – Natalie Babbit


"The richness of the rain made me feel safe and protected; I have always considered the rain to be healing—a blanket—the comfort of a friend. Without at least some rain in any given day, or at least a cloud or two on the horizon, I feel overwhelmed by the information of sunlight and yearn for the vital, muffling gift of falling water." – Douglas Coupland


"The magic of purpose and of love in its purest form. Not television love, with its glare and hollow and sequined glint; not sex and allure, all high shoes and high drama, everything both too small and in too much excess, but just love. Love like rain, like the smell of a tangerine, like a surprise found in your pocket." – Deb Caletti


"From where we stand the rain seems random. If we could stand somewhere else, we would see the order in it." – Tony Hillerman TC mark

Originally published on Soul Anatomy.