Thought Catalog

7 #RelationshipGoals Every Healthy Couple Can Admit Suck In Real Life

Posted: 14 Apr 2016 08:16 PM PDT


Liking each other so much you start spending all your time together

When you're in the early stages of a relationship, you fantasize about being in that comfy stage when you hang out at each other's places for days at a time and procrastinate going home for a change of clothes because you just like each other THAT much. In reality, your house becomes a hotel and suddenly there's a person who isn't you that you're cleaning up after and buying food for. For the first time you begin to realize the increased obligations having another person in your life places on you.

Moving in together

You see their skidmarks, they see your period panties. So not chic.


A quickie is tossed around like it's a really hawt thing that all sexually healthy couples love. In real life, they're usually less than satisfying. By definition they are rushed, which means there is little to no foreplay. If you're doing it somewhere weird the logistics and angles can be uncomfortable and hard to figure out, and the whole idea is built around men's sexuality which heats up quickly and ends at the moment of ejaculation — which is just the tip of the iceberg of how good things can be.

Meeting their family

Meeting your love's family seems like this magical milestone where your relationship becomes real. In perpetuity if you break up, you know their parents will ask about you and use you as a reference point for their love life and future partners. In real life, families can be very, very messy. Some parents have issues with their child become an adult and moving towards having a family of their own. Other families have a lot of internal drama and you'll soon be on the receiving end of phone calls and Facebook messages asking you to take sides in their petty irl telenovela .

Cuddling all night

Cuddling with a new love is so exciting and romantic — until your arm falls asleep and their hot breath is all over your face. When we're fantasizing, we forget about how annoying it can be to shift around trying to find a comfortable position, only to have your partner move a minute later because they're trying to get comfortable too.

Having a permanent plus one

Is there a more annoying time to be single than when RSVPing to a wedding? If you don't know anyone except for the couple it's awkward to not have a date because you know you'll have to make conversation with strangers all night. If you know a lot of people, you just want to prove to your family and friends that you're not a total undateable loser. But in real life, having a date means introducing them to everyone and answering increasingly invasive questions about ๐Ÿ˜ when ๐Ÿ˜ you’re ๐Ÿ˜ going ๐Ÿ˜ to ๐Ÿ˜ get ๐Ÿ˜ engaged ๐Ÿ˜.

Going on vacation together

Going on vacation with someone means spending a lot of your finite money and time off work to go somewhere and then not do exactly what you want to do to enjoy it. Some people think vacations are for adventures and some think they’re for laying on the beach with a book and not moving for a week. You have to learn to balance another person’s vacation style with your own and it’s not always a good fit. TC mark

I Am Not A One-Night Stand Kind Of Girl

Posted: 14 Apr 2016 08:00 PM PDT


I sometimes wish I could be the daring, devilish kind of girl who kisses hot strangers in bars, the tequila on my lips the only reminder that we were, for a split second, connected.

I wish I could run my hands through their hair and over their chest and not have questions swarming into my head: What’s their name? Are they nice to their mothers? How do they sleep at night?

I wish I could meet a guy in a club, let our bodies writhe against each other in the smokey haze of mystery and warped decisions. I wish I could fall into bed with them and lose myself and not have the heavy stain of regret hanging over me the next day.

But that’s not me. And it never will be.

I want to be naked with someone in more ways than just physically. Every single kiss needs to be fueled by days or even weeks of stolen glances and intoxicating sexual chemistry. I want to lose time imagining their lips pressed to mine and their tongue dancing about inside my mouth.

I want to have lived it a thousand times in my mind so that when their lips do eventually touch mine, I feel it everywhere. From the goosebumps fluttering beautifully all over my skin right to the tips of my toes. I want to feel it deep inside my stomach where butterflies are spinning around each other triumphantly. I want to feel like a sixteen year old again.

Because otherwise, what’s the point?

I want to sleep with someone who connects the freckles on my back like constellations in the late morning sun and traces my curves with his lips. I want to know what he eats for breakfast and the look on his face as sleep finds him.

I want him to ask me about my favorite book and what inspires me. I want to know the things that keep him up at night and the relationship he has with his family. I want to know what causes that sparkle in his eyes and the slight twitch to his smile.

I do not want to be another nameless girl in a crowded city. I do not want awkward encounters the next morning when he’s kicking me out of his apartment. I do not want to be just a body or a ‘great lay’ because I am so much more than that.

I cannot help but get attached to anyone who enters my life, even the sweet boy on the bus who offers me his seat. I feel everything too intensely, I love too hard and my pain overwhelms me.

I am not a one night stand kind of girl.

I want late night conversations while I’m sitting on the kitchen counter in his baggy t-shirt with a hole in the collar, eating ice cream and talking about the universe.

I want it all, I want love and excitement. I want our passion to drive me wild and for his adoration of me to make me feel loopy.

I want to be a country within the world of his heart and I want sign posted in every state. I want to be a time capsule of memories. A lifetime of stories.

I want to be so much more than a 3a.m. booty call.
But most importantly, I want to mean something. TC mark

10 Characteristics To Look For In A Man You Can Grow Old With

Posted: 14 Apr 2016 07:15 PM PDT


1. He doesn't just make you feel comfortable.

The man you can grow old with feels familiar and safe. But also terribly exciting. Kissing him every morning is a part of your daily routine, but you still get a little jolt in your stomach every time.

He's the guy you can see yourself with on Saturday mornings, snuggled up and eating brunch on the couch. But he's also the man you can imagine skydiving with, imagine kissing in foreign countries, imagine in a thousand new and intriguing places you haven't yet been.

2. He challenges you.

He doesn't always agree; in fact, the longer you are together, the more you'll butt heads. And this is good.

Whether your relationship is built on similar values or not, he will still argue with you, still push you to think in different ways, and still drive you crazy. Your relationship won't be static and boring, but will always shift between calm and beautifully complicated.

3. He doesn’t make you feel perfect.

He will tell you when you're dead wrong, he won't regard you as this larger-than-life person, and he won't expect you to always be pristine and put together. You will feel human with him, real with him. And he will love you for the flawed, stubborn, disheveled person you are.

4. He inspires you.

His ambition pushes you; his pride in you motivates you to be ever-improving. You feed off one another's energies and you both are continually growing.

5. He doesn't see you as the center of his universe.

You are not the only reason for his happiness or the sole force behind all his decisions. He sees you not as his everything, but as his partner and his equal. Which is even better.

6. He really listens.

Focused, non-distracted listening, with eye contact and conversation.

7. He has genuine care for the world.

Not solely for you, but for your families, for your friends, for the strangers you meet. These people, these things you encounter bless your lives immensely and he acknowledges this.

8. He is curious.

About you, his life, his work and his passions.

9. He doesn't leave you questioning.

You know him. Really know him, and all his imperfections. You know his past, the places he's been, and you fully trust him, as he trusts you.

He is faithful and loyal. And even in this broken world, you have no reason to doubt him.

10. He makes you feel so many complicated emotions at once.

Not just the basic love or happiness, but passion and fear, bliss and anxiety, wholeness and frustration and intensity and comfort. He isn't just the man you have fun with, but the man you get angry with, cry with, explore with. Loving him is a feeling you cannot describe. And he is somehow both simple and complex.

There's no other way to say it—with him you just know. TC mark

The Deeper The Love, The Deeper The Pain

Posted: 14 Apr 2016 07:00 PM PDT / AleksandarNakic / AleksandarNakic

It’s a truth that lives in our bones. Something we were born with, something we grew up with – a truth weaved into our DNA thanks to the millions of broken hearts that came before us. It’s part of what makes us human – the ability to feel loss and pain so intensely, even when it’s invisible. The fact that we can hear a phrase like the deeper the love, the deeper the pain and feel it like a punch to our core, because it’s so true that it hurts.

It makes sense, doesn’t it? The harder you fall in love with someone, the further they get into your soul, the more it hurts when you lose them. You’re not just getting over a breakup. You’re experiencing a physical or near-physical pain as they untangle themselves from your life, as they pull themselves out of you, because they’ve seeped into the very essence of who you are. You lose sleep. You lose weight. Or gain it. You develop circles under your eyes. You lack a desire to do anything. All the energy left within you is being spent on adjusting to this new reality, to the person you are without them. You feel like a stranger in your own body and your own life, because you became so accustomed to the way they seemed to effortlessly weave themselves into your existence. Their addition was a change that you barely even noticed took place, until now, now that they’re gone.

But regardless of how well you feel and understand this truth, it never makes it any easier to swallow. On the contrary, it makes the deep cut that much more menacing. Because you can’t help but think, in regards to the future: what’s the damn point?

Really. What is the point of opening yourself up to another person who could give you an invisible cut that feels (and possibly is) powerful enough to destroy you? Yeah, there’s that whole “love is an incredible experience” and blah blah blah. And it is, it really is. But shit, it’s also really scary.

Here’s the crappiest part of all. There’s no pretty solution that I can hand to you, or to myself, with a big beautiful red bow wrapped around it. If there was, I wouldn’t be writing this, because I wouldn’t be wasting my time worrying about it – worrying about the potential pain you gamble with when you decide to, once again, pull your heart outside of your body, hand it to someone else, and pray that it is not crushed by them or by the infinite number of other forces out there.

What I can say, based on my own experiences and those of many of my friends, is that the agony you feel while you’re nursing a broken heart often makes you feel more alive and more real to yourself than any other situation you’ll go through. Happiness and joy and contentment are beautiful, incredible feelings. But it was in my moments of despair and brokenness that I felt the deepest connection with myself and with the people who were trying to pick me back up. And when happiness and joy did eventually return to my life, they were that much sweeter after experiencing what it was like at the other end of the spectrum.

Remember that, more than anything else, when you are trying to keep yourself from bleeding further. Remember that you are experiencing an emotion, a brokenness, that millions before you have gone through, and survived. Maybe the next time you experience love, it will be a thousand times sweeter because of the pain you previously went through. Maybe it won’t be. Maybe you won’t find love at all. Maybe it will take a long time. Maybe this is very comforting to you. Maybe it is not comforting at all. But at least take solace in this: you are encountering hundreds of other broken hearts every day. You are not the first and you certainly will not be the last to feel this shredded. Maybe you’ll find someone again, maybe you won’t. But either way, you are never alone in the way that you feel. TC mark

50 One-Sentence Reminders Every Girl Who’s Tired Of Hookup Culture Needs To Hear Right Now

Posted: 14 Apr 2016 06:15 PM PDT

Franca Gimenez
Franca Gimenez

1. It's okay to care about people; in fact it's a good thing.

2. You're allowed to want more than just a one night stand.

3. It's completely and totally normal to feel lonely.

4. But speak up if it feels like the loneliness is getting to you and ask for help.

5. As clichรฉ as it is, love comes around when you aren't looking for it.

6. There is no shame in demanding what you deserve.

7. There is no right way or wrong way to love someone.

8. Respect is not something you should ever have to ask for from someone who cares about you.

9. You never have to apologize for wanting to be loved; it's human.

10. Having a broken heart doesn't make you damaged goods or undateable.

11. If Tinder is exhausting and frustrating, just delete it.

12. There is no such thing as "the cool girl" and you can stop pretending to be her.

13. Because you're cool as hell just the way you are.

14. If someone only calls you at 2 AM you don't have to answer the phone.

15. It is perfectly okay to let go of people who do not fit into your life.

16. You don’t have to apologize for being "old fashioned" if it's who you are.

17. There's other love out there, other than romantic love, that can make you feel just as full.

18. You should never have to compromise a part of your life to make someone else feel like being a part of it.

19. Sometimes taking a break to find yourself is the healthiest thing you can do.

20. If someone makes you feel shitty about the things that you want in life, the only shitty thing in the equation is them.

21. Wanting to be swept off your feet doesn't make you unrealistic or gross.

22. No matter what anyone says, everyone loves the feeling of getting butterflies and they're lying if they say otherwise.

23. It is okay to want a connection deeper than something formed in 140 characters or less.

24. Love is never something that should leave you feeling empty.

25. And if it does, it's not real love.

26. You are not stupid for believing what someone says even if it turned out to not be true.

27. Looking for the good people is an admirable quality, not one that makes you naรฏve.

28. If someone feeds you lines to get something from you, that says more about their personality than the fact that you trusted them.

29. Having standards doesn't make you a bitch, it makes you strong.

30. If something feels wrong, it probably is.

31. You don't have to pretend to be a Netflix and Chill girl if that isn't who you are.

32. You do not have to make room in your life for people who do not want to be there unless they get something from you.

33. It's okay to block numbers from your phone if they only bring you pain when they flash across the screen.

34. But you aren't stupid for picking up the phone anyway sometimes (because we all have).

35. You will not die alone.

36. You are not a clichรฉ or dumb for asking the "what are we" question.

37. It's okay to like labels and to find comfort in having them.

38. If someone makes you feel bad for asking for what you want, they are selfish and do not deserve you.

39. It is never weak to love someone.

40. Demanding more for yourself is brave and something that should be admired.

41. There is an ebb and a flow to dating and if you're feeling frustrated or like you're in a bad spot, just remember that it will pass.

42. No one should ever be allowed to shame you for saying, "This isn't who I am."

43. You are allowed to miss people even if they hurt you.

44. Everyone has said they were done with dating at least once in their life — you're not alone and you aren't dramatic.

45. "Being chill" is not synonymous with "loveable".

46. There is something to be said for actually knowing what you want and waiting for it.

47. "Needy", "Clingy", and "Crazy" are excuses that immature people use to make themselves feel better about their own bad behavior, and they do not in any way define you.

48. “No” is a complete sentence.

49. If you aren't having fun with your life, it's okay to change it.

50. You are enough. TC mark

7 Simple Ways To Show Him Exactly What You Really Want In Bed

Posted: 14 Apr 2016 06:00 PM PDT

Photo by
Photo by

1. When he's in the right spot, make sure he knows it.

Simply put, overdo it a little bit. If he's handling his business just right make him feel good about it. Verbal praise can go a long way here. He will more than likely be turned on by how vocal you're being and is likely to work even harder to get you there.

2. Guide him.

Literally guide him through your body. Move his hands where you want them to be. Point to where you want to be kissed. Push his head down toward your honey pot. Take control of the situation and show him where you need him to be.

3. Show him by doing it to him.

Take charge. If you're wanting to try something new be the person to initiate it. Don't go all dominatrix on him – unless y'all are into that kind of thing – but don't wait on him to get things started. By showing him how good it feels to him, hopefully he'll know that he should return the favor as well!

4. Show him by doing it yourself.

This won't work with everything, but for some stuff you can show him how to take care of business by taking care of business for yourself. He'll be pretty turned on by it and that should make a good student out of him. When you're finished let him know to give it a try on you as well.

5. Find a video.

We're all familiar with PornHub. If he can't seem to get the picture, show him a video.

6. Role play.

You could literally role play 'teacher and student' and instruct him on how to handle business. If you two are the creative types, role play options are endless and usually are a good time. You two won't be acting as yourselves which tends to open doors to try new things while 'in character'. Don't be shy, give it a shot!

7. Tell him.

If all else fails, just tell him. You deserve to have great sex. You can find a creative way to tell him just to spice things up or you could simply have the conversation with him, but it definitely needs to be communicated.

We all have needs that need to be satisfied; don't settle for mediocre sex. Let him know what you want without hurting his ego. After all, a little help never hurt anybody. TC mark

23 Ways You Know She’s The Woman You’ll Spend The Rest Of Your Life With

Posted: 14 Apr 2016 05:15 PM PDT


1. She inspires you to be a better person, not just in small, day to day ways, but in your overall approach to life. You can't help reaching higher, thanks to her.

2. Since meeting, it's as if your heart's grown ten sizes. The person you were before finding her was the Grinch compared to the loving individual you've become, and you feel indebted to her for your personal transformation.

3. When she smiles, you smile. You don't have to know why she's smiling. Her happiness is contagious. You absorb her every good vibe automatically, by osmosis or something.

4. You don't have to know why she's laughing to start cracking up right along with her, either. Her giggle is your medicine. It makes you feel better instantaneously.

5. But she doesn’t have to be in good spirits to make you grin. Whether she’s smiling or not, you are constantly beaming with satisfaction inside, delighted over the privilege of being with her.

6. It’s as if your spirits are conjoined twins.

7. You adore her in all states of mind—as she experiences every single emotion, good, bad, and in-between.

8. When she enters a room, your surroundings melt away and reality seems to disintegrate. Nothing else matters—not your personal responsibilities, professional obligations, or outside distractions. It’s just you, and her.

9. You find yourself telling her things you haven’t told anyone before. She is your number one confidante, the keeper of all those secrets you never imagined confessing to another living soul.

10. You find yourself incorporating her into everything you do, every thought you have, and every dream you entertain.

11. Often, she's the star of your nighttime dreams, both naughty and nice, too.

12. You have great sex, and you have lots of it. Sometimes you're purely tender with each other, but you also get down and dirty. Pleasuring her is your main source of pleasure.

13. You experiment outside the bedroom, too. Being with her makes you want to expand your horizons in every aspect, from the food you eat to the trips you take and the places you consider living.

14. She manages to win over everyone who’s close to you—without even trying, it seems. After introducing her to a friend or family member, you know to expect a message the following day about how lucky you are and you nod to yourself every time, understanding that they're right.

15. Her warmth is the effortless kind, especially when it comes to caring about you. Sometimes, you honestly wonder if you deserve to be treated so well by another human.

16. You never have to worry about feeling embarrassed when she’s around. She sincerely adores your every flaw and if she laughs when you flub, it's because she finds you so darn endearing.

17. She isn't bashful about communicating her needs, understanding that she's a better partner when she looks out for herself. As independent as she is, however, she's not afraid to lean on you.

18. You know in your heart that you can rely on her. Your gut tells you to trust her without question and in this case, you listen to it without thinking twice. When it comes to her, everything seems clear cut.

19. No matter how pragmatic or unsentimental you are, you can't help feeling as if your bond is truly special, the product of a higher power or some cosmic force you can't quite explain.

20. The very thought of her getting into any sort of trouble or being mistreated disturbs you on some primal level. Sometimes, you concoct revenge fantasies in which you go to extreme lengths to defend her honor before realizing your imagination is going a little crazy.

21. When you're with her, you can't help envisioning the future. Things you want to do, places you want to go, adventures you want to embark on—together.

22. There's nothing more comforting than her presence. She really is your everything. Your lover, accomplice, and life partner. Your reason for getting up in the morning, and your solace as you fall asleep at night.

23. With her at your side, you are relationship goals. TC mark

Second Chances Don’t Promise A Different Outcome

Posted: 14 Apr 2016 05:00 PM PDT

Quentin Simon
Quentin Simon

"Honestly I admire you. You're so wise and know what you deserve and won't settle for less in every situation, not just relationships. The world needs more women like you."

My friend said those words to me as I decided to walk away from someone I cared deeply about, someone who didn't care for me in that same way.

Why is this such an honoring compliment? Why is it that the world needs more women "like me"? Why is it that there aren't more women in the world who know their worth and know when to walk away from those who don't positively impact them? Why is it that I deserve recognition for acting the way we all should act?

I haven't always been this way, though. It was only about a year ago that I learned my worth and understood my importance as a person. It was about this same time that I made a promise to myself to walk away from anyone who doesn't make me feel important, or makes my feelings seem invalid. I realized I no longer have to feel ashamed for feeling the way I do and I sure as hell don't owe anyone an explanation for feeling upset or angry.

Within the past year I learned it's okay to say, "You make me sad and I don't like the way you're treating me." I hid my true feelings for fear of being ridiculed, being called crazy, being called clingy. My feelings were never validated. I longed for someone to accept my emotions, all the good and bad ones, but in the end I was always disappointed. For me, I know it is going to be a battle to find comfort within future relationships because I refuse to be treated in any way that I find undeserving. At times, I worry this reflects unrealistic expectations for a relationship, but why shouldn't we all share these same expectations when it comes to finding someone who loves every part of you?

Often I wonder why so many of us stay in relationships, and even friendships, that don't allow us to grow. For so many, it has become force of habit for us to remain in relationships with men and women who don't fulfill our emotional needs, and even easier in relationships to confuse contentment with happiness. With each day, it becomes harder to walk away from those who hurt us, and we reassure ourselves that things will change; giving a second (or often a tenth) chance means things will eventually work themselves out.

Well, I stopped giving second chances.

Giving someone a second chance doesn't promise a different outcome. More of us need to let those words resonate in our minds, and learn that if we feel hurt or unsure from one mistake, they shouldn't be given the chance to hurt us again.

With this new mindset brings a new range of criticism. Why am I so willing to give up on someone who I care about just because they hurt me once? Truthfully, I don't see the point in continuing to work towards a relationship with someone who hurts me, because down the road I would never want to call that person my boyfriend. For this, I may come across as harsh and unforgiving but I know what I deserve and refuse to settle, especially when this person has created an anxiety of wondering whether or not he will hurt me again.

Looking back now, though, I'm thankful for the many second chances I've given. Without giving those second chances I wouldn't have endured such grueling heartbreaks, or spent nights lying awake wondering if I would be hurt again, essentially wondering if a second chance was a mistake. All of these moments made me stronger. It takes moments of weakness to appreciate and create strength, and if it weren't for those somewhat wrongful second chances, I wouldn't have learned that one mistake is enough to see someone's true colors.

I hope there comes a day when all women and men can find their inner strength to walk away from any relationships where their significant other doesn't make them feel important. The world needs more strong women (and men). Be one of them. TC mark

7 Fears People Have About Committing And Why The Right Person Will Make Them Disappear

Posted: 14 Apr 2016 04:15 PM PDT


1. Being left by someone you love.

You’re scared to commit because you think everyone will eventually leave you, but what you need to realize is that the right person chooses to stay. The right person won’t wander when life becomes difficult, the right person will ask what they can do to make it easier. The right person makes you feel loved. They make you feel certain. They erase your fear of being left because they continue to prove that they will not only stay, but that they want to.

2. Uncertainty that they are right for you.

It’s nearly impossible to know whether or not you’re with the right person, but when it feels wrong, you’ll know. Sometimes there’s more than one person that is right for us, and sometimes we have to meet all the wrong people before finding them. Being uncertain about someone else is a reflection of the uncertainty you have within yourself. They say you need to love yourself before you can love someone else, but the same goes for trust. Trust yourself. Trust that you are smart enough to leave someone who doesn’t show you the love that you deserve. It’s okay to question. It’s okay to be uncertain, but if you push everyone away, you’re not only pushing away those who are completely wrong for you, you’re pushing away everyone who’s right.

3. Loss of independence.

When you commit to someone else, it’s important to make the time to commit to yourself as well. You shouldn’t have to compromise your independence to be with someone. A relationship involves two people. You are a couple, but you’re not one item. You’re not two halves that make one whole, you are two separate beings. You both have different passions, different hopes and dreams, and it is love that allows you to share them with one another. It is possible to share your life without giving up half of it.

4. Overwhelming feelings.

It’s easy to care about family and friends more than ourselves, but when it comes to a relationship fear sets in deep. It’s scary to care about someone so deeply that you question what you’d do without them, but you don’t have to fear your feelings. It’s okay to care, and more importantly it’s okay to express how much you do, without the fear of pushing them away.

5. Having to put someone else first.

When you’re single no one else’s needs come before your own. If you want to go out, you go out. If you want to eat ice cream for dinner, you eat ice cream for dinner. There’s no one there to tell you no, and there’s no one else you need to satisfy. The only person you need to satisfy is yourself. Commitment is learning how to balance the two. Putting someone else’s needs before your own only becomes a problem when you compromise your own happiness in the process. Do what you need to do to make you and your partner happy together. It’s okay to put them first occasionally as long as you remember to maintain your own well-being while doing so.

6. Wondering if you’re settling.

You’re afraid to commit to one person because you wonder if you’ll find someone better, but when you’re with the right person, they’ll be the only person you want to be with. You will come across people who are prettier, funnier, smarter; you will come across people who are ‘better,’ but they’re not better for you. When you’re with the right person, you won’t want to give up what you have for someone else, no matter how attractive, cute or clever they may be. The right person, and the happiness you experience with them, outweighs all other indulgences you might desire.

7. Going through another terrible breakup.

Don’t carry the failures of your last relationship into your present one, and don’t let your scarring breakup, be a foreshadow of your future. Just because one of your relationships ended terribly doesn’t mean they all have to. Learn from your past. Look back on the moments that hurt you and use them as ways to learn about yourself. If you fear commitment simply because you fear it ending you’ll never be able to start a new beginning. TC mark

To My Fellow Women, This Is How You Deserve To Be Treated

Posted: 14 Apr 2016 04:00 PM PDT

Twenty20 / Katyasi Berianvegan
Twenty20 / Katyasi Berianvegan

Somewhere along the way, we've all become guilty of accepting much less than we deserve. And instead of this standard we once had that was so high, we find flattery in not being treated like shit. We've allowed immediate gratification, to screw with our heads. We've accepted way less than we've deserved. We've allowed people to talk to us, in a manner that's demeaning. And as long as they say sorry after we cry, we forgive them. We've succumb to peer pressure and pleasing others without asking someone for something we want. We've been made to feel guilty for even asking. Because somewhere along the way someone has told us we don't deserve that, and we foolishly believed them.

But I'm here to tell you, you never deserved any of those things. Because the things you want are out there, and the person who will treat you well and with respect is wondering where all the people who deserve it are. We've allowed ourselves to alter our perception, of what we are looking for and it's messing with us.

But you shouldn't settle for average or mediocre.

Because you deserve more than that. Because I know exactly what you'd be willing to give someone else, and that's what you deserve.

You deserve every fantasy to become reality. You deserve those cliches you watch in movies, to come to reality before your eyes and not just on a screen.

You deserve someone asking you to slow dance on a weeknight in the street.

You deserve someone unapologetically pouring their heart out to you. Not just you being the one to say I love you and someone reply thank you.

You deserve a radio being played outside your window. Not songs that make you cry as you find the company in heartbreak.

You deserve flowers sent to your office. But if he knows you, he'll know to send chocolate first.

You deserve being a part of their entire world, not being their best-kept secret.

You deserve Sunday morning where they want you to stay.

You deserve to never feel badly for saying what you think and feel.

You deserve texts to always be answered fast. And not leave you confused.

You deserve actual phone calls because he's had a bad day and just hearing your voice make it better.

You deserve someone who wants to be there, not someone who is bored.

You deserve sleeping next to someone who leaves you whole, not lying next to a stranger that makes you feel lonely.

You deserve long car rides where you don't know where you are going, but there's a confidence in the person next to you, because no matter where that might be, you'll get there together.

You deserve someone singing you your favorite song, even if it took them weeks to learn.

You deserve someone who wants to go to the ends of the earth to be with you, not someone who makes you go all the way alone.

Because relationships are 50/50.

You deserve kissing without asking. Because they want to.

And making love, not just having sex. Because there is a difference between sleeping with someone and doing it with someone you love.

You deserve to have someone helps carry the burdens life throws at you. Because life struggles were never meant to be endured alone. You don't deserve someone who is making things more complicated.

You deserve someone drying your tears, never causing them.

You deserve all these things. You just have to be brave enough to ask for it. Because it's there, you're vision though has been made blurry with tears.

Please, my dear, life is too short and you are too young, you are too beautiful, you are too worth it to settle for anything less than extraordinary. And I know you question if it's out there, but it is. It's waiting for you, but you are fixating upon these men or boys that are temporary highs. That's all they will ever be. But when you meet the right person that temporary high you get addicted to, will last your entire life.

Because soul mates are real. And love is something you can believe in. I need you to trust. Trust it blindly until it becomes a reality. TC mark