Thought Catalog

No Matter What The Future May Hold, I Know I Want To Spend It With You

Posted: 04 Apr 2016 05:00 AM PDT

Eddie Rios
Eddie Rios

My love for you is not something that I can even begin to accurately describe. Trust me, I have tried. Tried to put words to the madness. To the complexity of emotions that overwhelm me at the very thought of you. “I love you” is typically all that I can come up with, because it makes a long story short. It sums up the things that I am incapable of summing up.

I cannot even pinpoint the exact moment it happened. The moment I knew you were the person I wanted to grow old with. It was slow, gradual, and then all at once, it just happened. I woke up one morning and I couldn’t imagine my life without you in it. My life stopped being my own. I started thinking in matters of “us” and “ours”. We were a collective thing, you and me.

My soul literally felt connected to yours. Our bodies and lives intertwined in a messy chaos. I was a part of you, and you were a part of me. And to my surprise, this feeling continued to get stronger. My love for you seemed to have no limits, no boundaries. It grew and deepened and consumed me. Every inch of my body ached for you. Every thought in my mind pertained to you. And no matter how big my love got, no matter how many times I thought I couldn’t possibly love you any more than I do in this very moment, I was continued to be proven wrong.

For some reason, I am pretty terrible at expressing these feelings. I struggle to make you know, really know, how I feel about you. And it breaks my heart. I wish you could see you the way that I see you. I wish you could feel the way that you make my heart soar with a simple look. I wish you could comprehend the infinite times a day I think of you and smile.

It is difficult for me to express, because it is not something I have ever felt before. It is not something I have ever let myself feel before. But with you, no amount of defense mechanisms could keep you away. You tore down my walls like they were nothing and showed me what it meant to live. Really live.

We have our differences. You are very much a free-spirit, somebody who seeks adventure and refuses to make plans. You can make friends any where you go, with everybody that you meet. I am just a shy girl from Kansas who thrives on routine and freaks out when I am not in control. But this is what I love about us. That we compliment one other. That we make each other whole. That we challenge ourselves to grow and change and go outside our comfort zones. You are the ying to my yang.

I may not have all the answers, and I most certainly am going to make mistakes. But if there is one thing that I can promise you, without any doubt in my mind, is that I have every intention of spending every single day loving you. And learning to do it better and more completely and in the ways that you need me to. Because you are the man I hope to spend forever with. My red string. The love of my life. TC mark

9 Important Things To Remember When Your Life Feels Like A Complete Shitshow

Posted: 03 Apr 2016 08:00 PM PDT

Fred Tougas
Fred Tougas

1. Everything is temporary.

I know this is so cliche, right? Like, what total bullshit LOL. Because when painful stuff goes down, it doesn’t feel temporary. It feels like forever. Emotions are often intense, and when you’re looking in all directions, but still see them EVERYWHERE, it’s hard to imagine them ever fading. We don’t see an ending, but I promise there is one.

There are places in northern Alaska where, during the winter, it can be night for up 67 straight days. But after the longest, darkest, night imaginable, the sun does eventually rise. A new day does come. And it will for you too.

2. Growth happens in pain.

Life isn’t a movie as much as it is a painting. We can’t think of things sequentially, this-leading-to-that. Rather, we are living all the parts that will ultimately come together to create a beautiful work — even when it isn’t clear how they will EVER do so.

3. Failing doesn’t make you a failure.

Nothing great has every happened without mistakes. Virtually everything great that has ever happened in the world has been preceded by a mine-field of f*ckups and missteps. If you have recently experienced what seems like a domino chain of failings, know that that doesn’t make you a failure.

It means you are slowly weeding out things that don’t work, and won’t work for you. You are one step closer to that dream relationship, dream job, dream life. You just have to to summon the courage to keep going.

4. Everyone has bad nights.

We’ve all been there. Those nights that end with us leaning over a toilet hacking up shots of cranberry vodka and regret. Those lonely nights where we text our ex, have a bad hookup, or do something we wish we could take back. Those nights were we feel anger, sadness, fear, helplessness, despair.

These are human emotions, human moments, human experiences. Why do we want so badly to not be human?

Of course, the answer is obvious — these emotions suck. They suck big time. But they are apart of us. Shake it off and keep going. Your life is not defined by your worst moment. You are so so much more than that.

5. People who leave you are people you shouldn’t miss.

Sam: Why do I and everyone I love pick people who treat us like we’re nothing?
Charlie: We accept the love we think we deserve.

Too often we surround ourselves with people who have conditional relationships with us. We let ourselves get put into boxes and get used by people who don’t offer us anything permanent. Who don’t offer us anything unconditionally.

And that’s not to say that having acquaintances or superficial friendships is a bad thing. Sometimes they’re great! But you absolutely must stop blaming yourself for people who walk out of your life. If they leave, they weren’t meant to stay, and that’s okay.

6. Drama is inevitable, what you do about it isn’t.

People are always gonna talk about people. Shit is gonna go down, but it doesn’t have to take you down with it.

Sometimes in the messiest, stupidest drama we discover who our true friends are.

7. Money is important, but not the most important.

So maybe you’re broke, god knows I am. And it’s easy to say, “Oh, money doesn’t matter! Oh live your life, money will come!” but we all know that to one degree or another, we rely on money. But what’s important is that you have enough of it it to sustain your needs, not how much you have relative to other people, which tends to be EXACTLY the thing society focuses on.

If you have enough money to pay your rent, fill your stomach, and buy a box of wine, you’re doing fine.

8. Everybody is jealous of someone.

Don’t beat yourself up for being envious of a classmate or friend. Nobody is immune from a little jealousy now and again. Just don’t let envy completely take over your life. Take a step back every now and again and think about the things you do have, rather than the things you haven’t.

9. Nobody knows what the f*ck they’re doing.

Even the most well put together person is worried about something. Even the one co-worker who has a 401k, nice car, and adorable dog is struggling. We are all in this together. Life isn’t easy, but don’t spend it being hard on yourself. We all have a limited amount of time, and nobody is getting out of it alive. TC mark

The Nervous Anxiety Of Embracing A New Love

Posted: 03 Apr 2016 07:00 PM PDT

Ines Perkovic

I show up at your concert.
I'm embarrassed to be here.
Because I'm only here to see you.
Because I'm only vaguely invited.
Because my intentions must be so transparent.
I have a crush on you.

You smile at me from the stage.
The music starts, and I vanish into the crowd,
watching you sing, and synthesize, and mesmerize.
When the show is over —
You talk to your friends
And I ghost around making small talk,
nervously wondering? Was that smile even to me?
What am I even doing here?
To think a girl as powerful as you would want me?
Like telepathy, you brush my hand:
"I'll be back in a moment."

About ten minutes later —
You are walking towards me again.
And this time we both say nothing,
and there is an anxious pause.

What now?
Still silence.
A smile breaks like the sun breaks.
You move closer.

As gentle as rain you place
your head on my shoulder.
Darting brightly your eyes up at me.
It feels so natural,
like we have been dating for years.
And I wrap my arm around you;
And our smiles grow louder
And, together, we leave. TC mark

8 True Alien Abduction Stories That’ll Make You F*cking Terrified Of UFOs

Posted: 03 Apr 2016 06:45 PM PDT

1. Clayton & Donna Lee Abduction

Youtube / SiriusStarSystem
Youtube / SiriusStarSystem

A Texas-based husband and wife claim to have been abducted by aliens multiple times, including once where a fetus was stolen from Donna by the alien trespassers. Clayton claims that he was a child visiting a park the very first time he was abducted, and that he feels the aliens might be studying him throughout his life.

“I remember just floating up higher,” Donna Lee recounted about her experience, “And, all that was around were stars and blackness. And then, I blacked out.”

The couple have had their memories of this event awakened by a local psychologist, who ironically, doesn’t actually believe in aliens herself.

They have both drawn sketches of the aliens, and appeared on multiple media outlets to talk about their story, including this one on the O’Reilly Factor:

O’REILLY: All right. And you were abducted multiple amounts of times?

D. LEE: Yes, yes.

O’REILLY: Did you ever talk to the abductees? I mean, did they tell you where they were from or anything?

D. LEE: No, that I don’t have any remembering of at all, having the conversation, no.

O’REILLY: So they just swept you away somewhere? Where’d they put you?

D. LEE: Different places, different times. I’ve had memories of being on what I consider the ship, because I know it was someplace other than any place I’d ever visited before.

O’REILLY: So you were in some kind of — you were in some kind of vehicle?

D. LEE: Yes. It was a vehicle, a room. It was very cold, metal. A lot of metal. A lot of metal.

O’REILLY: Did you see — did you see the aliens?

D. LEE: Yes.

O’REILLY: What do they look like?

D. LEE: What I saw on that particular visit, they were tall, slender, blond. Looked human, but not human, not quite human.

O’REILLY: All right.

D. LEE: They didn’t really use their voices to talk.

The couple say they remain worried about being abducted against almost daily, but that they want to “live their lives” regardless.

2. The Gundiah Mackay Alien Abduction

In a chilling story that three different people were involved in, a 22-year-old named Amy was abducted right out the window of her lounge room by some sort of flying craft.

Amy’s husband Keith had already gone to bed, while her friend Petra stayed up to read in another room. Petra was abruptly disrupted by a blinding light coming from the lounge room, and the sound of shattering glass.

The rectangular beam of light was shining into the room, and according to Petra, she saw Amy being pulled out of the window by the light, still apparently asleep.

Keith then woke up, and both he and Petra searched the house and surrounding area for Amy, who was nowhere to be seen. Keith eventually called the police.

Amy eventually turned up miles away, with strange marks on her inner thigh, and bizarrely extensive body hair growth.

3. Russian millionaire politician taken by Aliens?

Kirsan Ilyumzhinov, the former President of the only Buddhist political state, avidly claims that he was once kidnapped by creatures not of this world.

He says they abducted him off his apartment balcony, and took him to their spaceship:

Yeah! yeah, yeah, yeah I was taken from my apartment in Moscow to this spaceship! And we went to some star. After that I asked “Please bring me back” because the next day I should be back in Kalmykia! They said oh no problem Kirsan, you have time.

When pressed for details of the aliens themselves, Ilyumzhinov says:

They are people like us. They have the same mind, the same vision. I talked with them. I understand that we are not alone in the whole world. We are not unique.

The ship was absolutely enormous. One of its chambers was the size of a large football pitch. We landed on one of the planets and picked up some piece of equipment. They told me everything in detail.

Allegedly, while Ilyumzhinov was abducted, his staff came looking for him and was unable to locate him until he inexplicably appeared in his suite hours later.

4. The Robert Taylor Incident

Robert Taylor was a forestry worker in Livingston, Scotland. He was heading to work in the woods in 1979 when he turned a corner, and saw a UFO parked in a field.

All at once, two small spheres came from the object. They made a sound as their spikes moved over the earth. They came to a stop beside him, grabbing his trousers, and began to drag him back to the UFO. The spiked objects were very similar to the UFO, only smaller. Taylor could smell a strong, sickening odor. He lost consciousness.

When he regained consciousness, the spheres were gone, but his red setter was still there. The dog was panicky, running around and barking. Taylor tried to calm him down, but found that his voice was gone. He was very weak, and when he tried to stand, he couldn’t. He crawled for a time until he was able to stand again.

He finally made it back to his pick-up truck and tried to radio his work headquarters via his two-way, but still could not speak.

Attempting to drive his truck back home, he got stuck in the mud, so he started a long walk of about a mile back to his house. He arrived at 11:45 AM. (Source)

His wife phoned the police once he got home, remarking that he “looked terrible.” The police began an investigation, having no true explanation for the bizarre tracks left at the scene of the UFO. No aircraft — civilian or military — was scheduled to be in the area according to comprehensive flight logs.

5. Forestry worker goes MIA for five days — where was he??

Travis Walton was one of seven men working in a forestry team in Snowflake, Arizona. When heading home from work one night, the team spied a blindingly bright light. Thinking it was a crashed plane, they drove over to the craft. What they saw, however, did not look like any plane:

Youtube / UFOCaseReview
Youtube / UFOCaseReview

Walton jumped out of the truck to get closer to the craft. Suddenly, a bright light shot from the UFO and sent Walton floating into the UFO. The remaining six crew members, panicked, and drove away from the scene to get help.

About 7:30 p.m., one of the crew members called the police. Deputy Sheriff Chuck Ellison answered the telephone; The crew member initially reported only that one of a logging crew was missing. Ellison then met the crew at a shopping center. They related the tale to him — all the men distraught, two of them in tears — and though he was somewhat skeptical of the fantastic account, Ellison would later reflect “that if they were acting, they were awfully good at it.” (Source)

After an initial scan of the area showed no evidence of an “UFO” the police began to suspect the men were using the story to coverup the fact that they simply murdered Walton. However, over the next few days, all six loggers were subjected to intense interrogations and polygraphs, and their story seemed to hold up.

That’s when Walton suddenly reappeared. Thinking he had only been gone for a few hours, Walton retold parts of the story he could.

Youtube / UFOCaseReview
Youtube / UFOCaseReview

He said he was interrogated by three creatures with bald heads and huge eyes. He apparently encountered many different creatures on the craft, who performed experiments on him.

Many people were skeptical of the story, but Walton and all the other loggers maintain their stories.

6. The Manhattan Abduction

Linda Napolitano (originally aliased as Linda Cortile) triggered one of the most well-documented UFO abduction cases when she claimed to have been kidnapped out the window of her Manhattan apartment building by a flying saucer.

Linda describes her time with the aliens:

“I’m standing up on nothing. And they take me out all the way up, way above the building. Ooh, I hope I don’t fall. The UFO opens up almost like a clam and then I’m inside. I see benches similar to regular benches. And they’re bringing me down a hallway.

Doors open like sliding doors. Inside are all these lights and buttons and a big long table. I don’t want to get up on that table. They get me on the table anyway. They start saying things to me and I’m yelling. I can still yell. One of them says something that sounds like {Nobbyegg}. I think they were trying to tell me to be quiet because he put his hand over my mouth.”

Her abduction story has been corroborated by two United Nations bodyguards, who claim to have seen exactly the scene that Linda describes.

“There was an oval-shaped object hovering over the top of the apartment building two or three blocks up from where we sat.

We didn’t know where it came from. It happened too fast. Its lights turned from a bright reddish orange to a whitish blue coming out of the bottom. Green lights rotated round the edge of the saucer. A little girl or woman wearing a white gown sailed out of the window in a fetal position – and then stood in mid-air in this beam of light. I could see three of the ugliest creatures I ever saw. I don’t know what they were. They weren’t human.

Their heads were out of proportion, very large heads with no hair. Those buggers were escorting her into the craft. My partner screamed, ‘We have got to get them.’ We tried to get out of the car but couldn’t. After the woman was escorted in, the oval turned reddish orange again and whisked off.”

Years later in 2001, this photo would taken taken at Linda’s apartment. The aliens might have been visiting to check on her:

Yancy Spence via UFO Casebook
Yancy Spence via UFO Casebook

Both bodyguards would later go on to suffer severe psychological maladies after seeing what they did that night. Linda still maintains her story to this day.

7. Real Life “Men in Black”


Okay, not quite an abduction, but a bizarre visitation of another kind.

Robert Richardson was supposedly driving through Toledo, Ohio when he drove into a strange object, which he claimed vanished the minute that he stepped out to inspect it. Remaining next to his tire, however, was a shard of metal that appeared to have been apart of the mysterious object. Richardson took the metal and continued his drive home.

Three days later, two men in jet black suits and black sunglasses knocked on Richardson’s door. They immediately demanded the piece of metal. Richardson told them that he had it sent off to a lab for analysis. They ordered him to get it back, saying that his wife would be in grave peril if he didn’t.

Richardson ordered them to leave, and never saw them again.

8. Barney and Betty Hill Abduction

Perhaps one of the best known cases in UFO lore, Barney and Better Hill were allegedly abducted by aliens in 1961.

It all started when they were driving back home from a vacation in Canada, and they saw something they could not explain:

At about a quarter past 10:00 PM, three miles south of the city of Lancaster, Barney noticed what appeared to be a bright star, or planet, which seemed to move erratically. Barney pointed this out to Betty, and they both began to keep track of the object.

The couple began to believe that they were watching a plane appear and disappear, as the movement of their vehicle caused the trees to come and go in obstructing their view. Later, Barney would state that he tried to convince himself that the object was a plane, but that Betty thought it to be something else – an unidentified craft of some kind.

As the two continued to the Flume, just north of North Woodstock, the object appeared to move in an odd way.

As they reached Indian Head, Barney actually stopped the car to have a look at the object with his binoculars. He saw multi-colored lights, and rows of windows on a flat-shaped object, which now seemed to be moving toward him.

As the object moved to within a hundred feet of him, he could see occupants inside. Frightened, he ran back to his car where Betty waited. They climbed inside and sped away. Soon, two hours of their lives would vanish into oblivion.

After resuming their journey home, they were not able to see the strange craft anymore. Oddly though, they heard a beeping sound. They then heard the beeping a second time, noticing that they were suddenly thirty-five miles farther down the road than a minute or two ago. They were now in Ashla. (Source)

Once they got back home, however, the strange occurrences didn’t stop. Betty forcefully insisted that their luggage be kept near the back door, their dress shoes were scuffed and scrapped, and both of their watches were broken — never to work again.

But it wasn’t over yet.

Betty began having vivid dreams about the craft and strange people in it.

In the dreams, Betty, Barney, and the men walked up a ramp into a disc-shaped craft of metallic appearance. Once inside, Barney and Betty were separated. She protested, and was told by a man she called “the leader” that if she and Barney were examined together, it would take much longer to conduct the exams. She and Barney were then taken to separate rooms.

Betty then dreamt that a new man, similar to the others, entered to conduct her exam with the leader. Betty called this new man “the examiner” and said he had a pleasant, calm manner. Though the leader and the examiner spoke to her in English, the examiner’s command of the language seemed imperfect and she had difficulty understanding him. (Source)

According to Betty, she was then subjected to an examination. Afterward, she spoke to “the leader.” The Leader told Betty that she could keep a book that she found, but later insisted that he take it back, saying that “the others” wanted to wipe her mind completely. Betty told the Leader that no matter what he did, she would remember the events.

And I guess she did. TC mark

You Aren’t Allowed To Come Back After You Leave, It Doesn’t Work Like That

Posted: 03 Apr 2016 06:30 PM PDT

Jesse Herzog
Jesse Herzog

Today as I was scrolling through Facebook, your photo rolled onto my screen.

It danced underneath a bar that suggested I add you as a friend. It hovered in the middle of my page, the "People You May Know" lettering mocking me in a sea of navy and beige.

Perhaps, for us, it should have said, "People You Used To Know."

Perhaps, for us, it should have said,

"People You Still Think About" or

"People Who Broke You" or

"People Who Walked Away."

For a moment I reminisced about how long it had been. How we had shared so many secrets between whispered words, how we had made snow angels in our white sheets, how we had sworn with a half-baked hope that we would survive. We scattered the world with memories, letting our hearts stamp our fingerprints into every place we ever felt alive. We were full of wild love, full of reckless life.

And now, we are a mere suggestion. A burned history book with no paper trail. Even the Universe is trying to knot us together again, trying to remind us that we once mattered to eachother. Even the Universe knows that we should have won our war.

We had a different plan for ourselves, it seems. You made a choice to stop the fight, and I will not spend another slaughtered night trying to figure out if life is treating you well, or if the sun sets beautifully where you happen to rest your head. I will close the page, I will lay down my white flag again, and again, and again.

From now on, whenever your photo suddenly appears like an ill-fated attempt to remind me of the boy whose laughter never met his eyes, it will fall below a different list:

"People Who Did Not Deserve To Love You"

"People Who Are Not Allowed To Come Back.”TC mark

Pasted image at 2016_02_26 03_41 PM

Read more writing like this in Bianca Sparacino’s book Seeds Planted In Concrete here.

44 Savage Screenshots Of People Totally Shutting Down Their Ex

Posted: 03 Apr 2016 06:00 PM PDT


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TC mark

I Fell In Love With You Slowly, And Then All At Once

Posted: 03 Apr 2016 05:30 PM PDT


When you kissed me you became,
more than just a person.

When you kissed me you became,
the echo of my words,
the tangle in my voice.

You became,
every colour in the sky
on a ripe summer night,
the taste of apricots on my lips.

without me noticing
you became a living,
part of my world.

without me noticing,
you became a living,
part of my soul.TC mark

Pasted image at 2016_02_26 03_41 PM

Read more writing like this in Bianca Sparacino’s book Seeds Planted In Concrete here.

How To Cope Right After He Leaves You

Posted: 03 Apr 2016 05:01 PM PDT

Jesse Herzog

Two minutes after he has walked out that door, everything inside you threatens to shatter. Not just your heart, that has been broken for some time now, forgotten and covered in dust inside your chest, everything else. Your soul feels like it is ten thousand miles away, your lungs are heaving as though all the oxygen in this room has left with him, you don't know how your body is holding you up because everything hurts, everything aches like his goodbye has chewed through your organs, and although scientifically speaking you are fine…you feel like you are dying.

Because that is what breaking up is. The death of a life that you once imagined with him, a grave appearing inside your head in which you bury your memories so they don't hurt you. Your brain, whatever is left of it, is trying to focus of helping you live through this terrible event. This awful sadness that threatens to swallow you whole and spit out your bones. This is the hardest part, two minutes after the door has closed behind him for good. After this, every other time you miss him terribly will be nothing but a ghost of this completely consuming pain.

And this, this is how you are going to cope. You are going to cry. You are going to weep in a way that you will never allow anyone to see, not even him. And it will continue for what seems like an age. You will feel like you have aged ten years. But then, you cannot weep anymore and you will stop, unsure of what to do with yourself – you are so raw and hurt and still bleeding. But you cannot cry anymore because you see, your sub conscious mind has been scrambling this whole time, looking for a reason to stop you from falling apart; this is survival. And to help you, your mind will come up with this: drink water. You're dehydrated from letting it all out, and you need to drink water.

So shakily, you will get to your feet, and you will go to the kitchen, pour yourself a glass of water, and make your way to bed. The tears will probably come again when you walk into a room that you named 'ours' has now become just a room you lose sleep in. You will remember how he felt sleep warm against your skin, his arms around you and suddenly the universe is broken.

Breathe deeply. Eventually you will recognise that this is your new normal, but until then, you need to understand that there is a difference between being alone and being lonely. And here is how you will learn.

From a glass of water.

Before you drink it, look at the water, look at it carefully. And although you want to see yourself yourself as broken, try to look past that at this. You are still here. You are still breathing despite this constricting pain in your chest that threatens to destroy you. Instead of seeing yourself as broken, see yourself as the water you have poured into that glass. An ocean, a river, a sea, even a pond, they all have this one thing in common. No one can break them. Because it is physically impossible to break water. Because water adapts, it takes the shape of the vessel it has been forced into and it does so easily – that's where we get the adjective 'fluidly' from.

You are seventy percent made of this stuff. And although you don't feel invincible right now, keep this inside your mind. You will heal from this, you will recover because you are made out of oceans and they have survived volcanos erupting under their surface and hurricanes stealing from them and becoming terrible storms. They have survived human beings destroying and polluting their purest depths and they are still here. They still move entire continents apart with their sheer force and pressure.

Think of him as a hurricane, and your pain as a volcano. He has taken from you and gone. And your pain is erupting inside you. But even hurricanes and volcanos have a point where they end, and so will the memories of him that haunt you and your pain.

But you my dear, you are an ocean. And oceans are ancient and can survive everything, even the wrath of weather and planet. Just like you will survive losing what you thought would be forever love. TC mark


Preorder Nikita Gill’s Your Soul Is A River from Thought Catalog Books here.

Someone Discovered Donald Trump’s Old Blog And What It Says About Him Is Extraordinary

Posted: 03 Apr 2016 04:30 PM PDT

via Flickr - Gage Skidmore
via Flickr – Gage Skidmore

Much has been said about Trump’s former Democratic leanings but posts from his now defunct Trump University blog reveal exactly how much he’s changed.

1. On Gay Marriage

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via Internet Archive

Trump now strongly opposes the Supreme Court’s decision allowing same sex marriage.

2. On Corporate Corruption

via Internet Archive
via Internet Archive

Unclear if this opinion has changed but Donald has never shied away from sketchy arm twisting to get what he wanted.

3. On Gender Equality In The Workplace

The first post is by someone who worked for Trump. The second is by Trump himself.

via Internet Archive
via Internet Archive
via Internet Archive
via Internet Archive

He’s remained relatively consistent on this one. In his book “Crippled America” he says the following about putting a “33-year-old” woman in charge of building Trump Tower in 1983:

None of the people who whine about the way I talk to women mention the fact that I voluntarily promoted gender equality in a male-dominated industry. The women who work and have worked for me will vouch for the fact that I was as demanding of them as I was of their male counterparts.

4. The Housing Bubble

via Internet Archive
via Internet Archive

The doom and gloom was justified and the bubble popped two years later but not before Trump founded his own mortgage business in 2006 which had to be shut down the next year. So, it at least looks like he didn’t see it coming.

5. On Competition In Education

via Internet Archive
via Internet Archive

He’s been consistent on this issue. If anything, he’s even more pro-competition and charter school now than in 2005.

6. On Rebuilding New Orleans After Katrina

via Internet Archive
via Internet Archive

It’s hard to tell whether Trump was only for rebuilding New Orleans because he wanted to make money off it or because he felt it was the right thing to do. His most recent statements and actions suggest it was more the former. Trump declined to spend anything on charity to help the city at the time but he’s not big on charity in general.

7. Oil Profiteering

via Internet Archive
via Internet Archive

He’s evolved a lot on this issue, going so far as to say that we should just “take the oil” presumably from Iraq although it’s totally unclear what this actually means. This is basically what every anti-war person in the U.S. feared the Bush administration would do in Iraq but which it didn’t do.

8. Outsourcing Of Jobs From The U.S.

via Internet Archive
via Internet Archive

This has been a lynchpin of Trump’s presidential campaign and while his stance on it is 2005 appears to be that it’s “sometimes good” his current stance is that it’s horrible. Consider this quote, also from “Crippled America.”

There are people who wish I wouldn't refer to China as our enemy. But that's exactly what they are. They have destroyed entire industries by utilizing low-wage workers, cost us tens of thousands of jobs, spied on our businesses, stolen our technology, and have manipulated and devalued their currency, which makes importing our goods more expensive— and sometimes, impossible. TC mark

This Is How You’ll Find Yourself

Posted: 03 Apr 2016 04:00 PM PDT


You will find yourself on the days in which you stop seeking perfection.

For it is in these pure moments of imperfection and clarity that you are the most exposed, the rawest. Perfection is too simplistic. Perfection has no color. Perfection has no pattern, or no depth. It is a plain black and white page in a story book. The lines are all straight, measurable, and errorless, making right angles and perfect shapes. You can look at this story book page, but only for so long, before you run out of thoughts or interpretations. There is nothing else to draw from it.

But it is on the next page, the page with glowing colors and floating shapes, that you will truly be intrigued. This beautiful mess will catch your eye, this scramble of ideas and thoughts blotted across the page will reach your heart. You will wonder why the two lines don't match up, and why the coloring is just vaguely outside the lines. Your imagination will begin to run wild with thoughts, with emotions, with questions…as you track the wandering lines and swirls contrasting against the white backdrop. For this is imperfect. This is beautiful. This makes you feel something.

Finding yourself means seeing mistakes on the page, but interpreting them as hidden aspects of awe. Hidden bits of romance. Hidden drops of stardust. You will find yourself when you uncover your imperfections, and bravely send them out into the world.

You will find yourself in the moments when the tears come streaming down your face, when your heart has been broken. You will also find yourself in the depths of your deepest despair when you realize that this time, you have broken your own heart. It is in these moments of pure emotional expression that your soul will reveal itself; that your heart will pound in sadness or happiness at the terror of being alive. For it is in the moments when you truly embrace sensitivity as strength, rather than shying away in fear, that you will be in touch with your heart.

When you feel everything so deeply, when your emotions come rushing through you like a powerful ocean wave knocking you down, you will know who you are. You will open up. You may come out as a different person, but this is the person you have braved the storm to become. Sensitivity teaches you who you are. It brings out your strengths during your darkest days, and intensifies your passion when beauty shows its face.

After all, love is measured in quality, not quantity. You can impact this world through how deeply you love. You will find yourself when you choose to love even when your heart is cracked open…and when you make that choice to continue to love even when your pain is overbearingly intense. If you close your heart off when you are hurting, you will be lost, and not found. You will be hiding away from joy and miracles. So to find yourself, you must put all of your strength into knocking walls down, rather than building them up.

You will find yourself even on the days when you wake up with tear sunken eyes and a worn out heart…on the days when you are exhausted and worn out, when you are broken and alone. You will find yourself when you accept that it's okay that you feel this way, because this pain is fleeting. These bad times will not last forever. The ache in your heart will get better with time. It is when you can truly believe that heartache is temporary, that you will find a shadow of strength deep down within you that will continue to push you forward. Even though you have fallen, you will still rise back up again.

Even when you are broken, you will still be mended. If you continue to hold on, you will be surprised at what wonder you may find just around the corner. So remember that each time you fall down, you will find new facets of your complex soul. You will find different bits of peace and strength to comfort your heavy heart.

Finding yourself is not a concrete journey; it’s not a destination. There will never be a time in which you will feel like you have reached your final self. This is because you are deeper than the great blue ocean and vaster than even outer space. You will never be found. You will always be a little bit lost. And this is okay. This is only human.

You will find new bits and pieces of yourself as you go. The key is to peel aside all of your delicate layers of beauty and purity to see what lies beneath.

As you uncover these secrets, these vulnerabilities, these seeds of courage, you will begin to find yourself. You will realize that you alone have something to offer to this world. You alone have an exquisite beauty that is unlike anything else in this world. So continue on your journey, and remember that piece by piece, you will find yourself on the untouched road ahead. TC mark