Thought Catalog


I Want Every Day With You To Feel Like The First

Posted: 15 May 2016 08:00 PM PDT

NickBulanovv
NickBulanovv

The beginning phase is always the best, and apparently we’re in it, and if what ‘they‘ say is true this feeling will run out, but I don’t want to think about the day when I wake up not feeling the way I do right now with you.

I want every day with you to feel like the first.

I want it to feel like the beginning, because even if we’re far from day one we should still remember how to love each other, how to make one another feel special, and wanted.

I don’t want the butterflies to be replaced with exhaustion, or annoyance, or spite. I want the butterflies to stay. I still want the same smile to unconsciously appear when I look at my phone and see your name, the smile that happens unintentionally, the smile that happens when everyone around me knows I’m thinking of you.

I still want to feel like I never want you to leave, and I still want to feel an unnecessary loneliness when you do. Because I know I’ll be seeing you again soon, but I still want it to feel like it’s never soon enough.

I still want there to be effort. I still want the happiness to be maintained, and for each of us to continue to do the little things that show how much we care. I still want to show you that you matter, to show you that even if there’s a time in my life when other things come before you, you still have a place here.

I still want the laughter to be exhilarating.

I still want your laugh to make me laugh, and I still want to think, ‘Wow, I love him’ when it does.

I still want you to be the first thing I think about when I wake up. I still want you to think of me.

I still want to unknowingly bring you up in daily conversations, to talk about how wonderful you are without even realizing it.

I still want you to give me a reason to feel lucky, to feel lucky that someone like you would love someone like me. Someone who makes love feel certain, someone who makes me feel certain.

I still want that nervousness, the same nervousness I felt when you first whispered that you loved me. When I admitted I was scared, and you reassured me that I didn’t have to be.

I want the feeling of beginning to endure until the end.

I want to make you feel like every day with me is the first, and I want to make you feel like you’ll never have to worry about there being a last. TC mark

You’ll Remember Me As The Girl Who Loved Too Much

Posted: 15 May 2016 07:00 PM PDT

Pedro Ribeiro Simões
Pedro Ribeiro Simões

When you left, I blamed myself that I didn’t make you change your mind. I felt bad because I was not the “game changer” or the girl who made you better.

But as time went by, I realized something:
It’s not my fault. None of it was my fault.

Why did I blame myself, when in reality I loved someone so much, I forgot that I was special too. Why did I cry over someone who gave up on me, when really it's not my loss that he no longer has the girl who loved him far too much.

Right now, I know you won't mind that I am gone, but one day, maybe after ten years, you will look back and think of all the girls that you have loved and have loved you and you will remember me as the girl who loved too much.

But by then, I'll be long gone.

I was the girl who did things she never thought she would out of love just to see you smile, just to see you happy. I was the girl who was full of surprises, the girl who was always there for you, the girl who was willing to accept you for who you are through the good side and the bad side. The girl who got tired of you but never thought of giving up.

But you did.

You treated my love for you like a poison, like a rope that was strangling you. And I still don't understand how loving someone so much can poison a person.

How was leaving greater than the love you have for me? How is it that you only saw my love for you like that?

But then I remember it’s not my loss that I loved you more. And in ten years, will it even matter to me? One day I will be glad that you left because it has given me someone who is content with my love, thankful for my love, and loves me, too.

Someone who won’t make me feel like I am not enough because I am enough, you just didn’t see that.

Someone who will teach me how I can love someone still, but even more importantly, love myself.

Someone who will finally put me first.

Something greater and better is coming. I don’t have to rush and find that person immediately like you did. I’m picking up the pieces that you broke.

The girl who loved too much was left, but now she's healing. And she will be reborn. TC mark

10 Reasons Why You Should Always Tell Someone How You Feel About Them

Posted: 15 May 2016 06:00 PM PDT

iStockPhoto.com
iStockPhoto.com

If the response is what you were looking for — great! If it’s not, it’s still important to let someone know how you feel. Here’s why:

1. It sets you free. Even if the answer is not what you wanted, it sets you free from the questions, from the assumptions, from reading too much into things, from holding on to what ifs, from waiting for that text, or that kiss or that moment. It sets you free from your own expectations.

2. It’s easier to move on. It’s easier to get back to the routine of your single life. You feel better about going out or even dating other people without feeling bad that you might be disrespecting anyone's feelings. You know now that you are totally available.

3. It prevents you from being strung along. If you were getting attached, it's always better to say it sooner than later before you get more attached that it becomes harder to move on. You don’t want to be strung along for a long time only to find out that it’s going nowhere.

4. You deserve an answer. You deserve to know what's going on, you owe it to yourself to know where you stand, and you deserve to ask questions without holding back because you deserve an answer – whatever it may be.

5. They deserve an explanation. They deserve to know too why you were acting weird or distant or why you were holding back and they deserve to know why you might not be the same if the answer is not what you wanted. If you care about them, they deserve to know the truth.

6. Life is too short to leave important words unsaid. You never know what tomorrow may bring or when you will see that person again. It's liberating to know that you left this person saying everything you wanted to say instead of beating yourself up for letting them go without telling them what they really meant to you.

7. It's brave. It's brave to risk getting rejected and it's brave to tell someone how you feel when you're unsure of the answer. It's also brave because you're not afraid to ask for what you want and you are strong enough to handle the consequences. It shows that you are both strong and mature.

8. It means you love yourself. When you want to understand what's happening and where things are going, it means you have standards and it means that you respect yourself to walk away instead of getting played or staying in the friend zone when you want more.

9. It feels great. It feels great to get it off your chest and tell someone you like them and you think they're great, it feels great for them also, to know that they are liked and appreciated. Regardless of how they feel, everyone wants to hear that they are special. Consider it your good deed of the day.

10. You get your own closure. You don't wait until things fizzle out or until you two slowly drift apart, you get to know while it's fresh, when it's happening, instead of wondering what went wrong months down the line.  TC mark

44 Awesomely Real Insights On Life And Love That Will Make You LOL

Posted: 15 May 2016 05:48 PM PDT

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TC mark

10 Signs You’re Not Over Your Ex (No Matter How Much You Want To Be)

Posted: 15 May 2016 05:00 PM PDT

iStockPhoto.com / Todor Tsvetkov

If you’re still sleeping with them, you shouldn’t need to read anything else to know that you’re definitely not over your ex.

However, there are some things that we do when it comes to our exes that indicate we aren’t as over them as we believe ourselves to be. The thing is, we just don’t realize it right away. Here are 10 signs you’re not over your ex. Let’s get into it!

1. You cyberstalk them daily.

You know exactly what I’m talking about. They are the first name in your recent searches on all of your social media platforms. You don’t check in on them though. You never reach out to them, but you keep up with their every move–or post.

2. You speak badly about them.

I can’t stand to hear someone speak badly about their ex. Yes, even if they cheated. At one point, that person was everything to you and bad mouthing them only reflects on you and your choice of partner. To be frank, it makes you look bad.

3. You aren’t happy that they’re happy.

If you see that they get into a new relationship, you’re not happy for them. In most cases, you say that their new partner isn’t attractive or you find another way to make them look like less of a person than you are.

4. You don’t like to hear their name.

You can’t even stand the sound of their name without getting sad or upset. Just hearing their name brings memories rushing into your mind and in turn triggers your rash emotions.

5. You’ve disassociated yourself from the people you knew in common.

You’re unable to associate yourself with his family and friends. Most times, the people we meet through our ex will only preserve the memories you two shared together and remind you of them when they see you. If you’re not over your ex, this is hard to overcome. When you are over your ex, you don’t have any problem talking to or being around those people.

6. You’re not open to new relationship opportunities.

You’re completely turned off by the thought of another relationship. You ignore the people who hit on you. Some might argue, but I think holding yourself back from the opportunity to date again is a way of saying,”just in case they come back.”

7. You compare the potential of a new relationship to the one you were in with them.

Not only are you not open to talking to that beautiful person who hit on you earlier, but you’re bitter and negative about the thought of a new relationship simply based on the results of your last one. Every chance you get, you justify your reasons for why you won’t get into anything new by comparing it to things that happened with your ex.

8. You’re still holding onto relationship memorabilia.

I truly believe that the greatest memories are kept in the heart. If you can’t part with the tangible items, you’re probably not over them.

9. You constantly verbalize that you’re over them.

The only person who believes you when you say that you’re over your ex is you. If you were really over your ex, your actions would say that for you. No one would question it and you definitely wouldn’t have to tell anybody that you’re over them.

10. You can’t see yourself being friends with them—ever.

Being friends with your ex is not a bad thing. In fact, when you’re truly over your ex, it’s a good thing to be friends with them. If you cannot fathom being friends with your ex at all, it’s safe to say that your heart is still healing. If they still bring about ill feelings for you, your heart has not yet coped with the fact that you two aren’t together anymore.

If you’re experiencing any of the above signs, just give it time. You can get over them. It’ll take some time, but I promise you it’s possible. Hang in there! TC mark

I Can’t Wait Until The Day I Finally Stop Texting You Back

Posted: 15 May 2016 04:00 PM PDT

haleycarrere
haleycarrere

There was a time when I thought we might be something real. I thought that maybe you’d be a nice person to spend some time with. I thought that maybe we could cuddle, laugh, and watch movies together. I thought that we could go on cute dates, holding hands while walking past closing storefronts on mild summer nights.

But now I know better. I know that I’m not good enough for you, not cool enough, not strong enough, not casual enough. I wanted to define our relationship, I wanted you — I wanted “us.” You didn’t. You wanted to fuck. You fucked my body, and then my mind. And now you just want more. Sliding into my DMs, sliding into my texts, trying to slide back into my life.

But I guess I don’t know better. Because I respond. Because I flirt. Because I let you tempt me with your games. I respond to your texts with sassy, flirty responses. I enable it all.

And then I wonder why I’m unhappy. I wonder why I don’t find the “nice guys.” I wonder why I am trapped in this vortex of insanity, and why you keep contacting me, pushing yourself back into my life. But the answer is pretty obvious, staring up at me from my bright iPhone screen.

Because I keep texting back.

And my friends think I’m masochistic, and they may be right — but there is more to it than that. When my phone lights up with a new text from you, my brain lights up with what I imagined could have been. I am not texting the boy who led me on and made my heartstrings into puppet strings, I am texting the boy I thought cared about my future. The boy who walked with a cocky swagger, and talked cheerfully about his day. The boy who I seduced myself into believing would see me differently than everyone else — would see me as someone special. That boy wasn’t real, instead, you were real.

Like falling for someone, sometimes falling away from someone takes time. And I think that’s okay.

But slowly, too slowly, I will convince myself that I deserve better. Slowly, I will pick up myself and move on. Slowly, I will look forward to the day when I finally ignore your texts, your tweets, and you. TC mark

23 Adorable Moments You’ll Experience When You Finally Find True Love

Posted: 15 May 2016 03:00 PM PDT

Twenty20, Sphotography
Twenty20, Sphotography

1. You will sit across the table from your significant other, not eating, because you're way too busy smiling like a couple of love-drunk dopes.

2. You’ll surprise each other with love notes in unexpected places (her handbag, his sock drawer, the medicine cabinet, the fridge) so often that you’ll actually start to expect them.

3. You will text each other sweet messages throughout the day, using emojis in a way you once dismissed as unreasonable or silly.

4. You’ll pause to glance at each other during romantic movie scenes as if to confirm that you both identify with the characters falling madly in love—although their passion can’t possibly match yours.

5. You will grow to hate sleeping alone because you’re literally addicted to the cocoon of your partner’s loving warmth. So when your matching spoon isn’t next to you in bed, you’ll inch over to their side to get a whiff of the remnants of their aura.

6. You’ll feel your heart sink every time you return to an empty house because you’d honestly rather be wherever your boyfriend or girlfriend is at that very moment.

7. You’ll say 'make love' even though it sounds super cheesy because 'fucking' and 'hooking up' both sound so wrong.

8. Whenever you get a little tipsy, you’ll profess your undying commitment to each again and again.

9. You'll do the whole I-love-you-so-much-I-just-can’t anymore routine when you’re dead sober, too, shocking no one more than yourself with your capacity for sentimentality.

10. You will pack one suitcase for traveling instead of two because you like the idea of your stuff rubbing up against theirs in the trunk of a car or the cabin below.

11. You will beg for forgiveness after each and every fight, truly regretting every single thing you’ve said or done to hurt the person you love.

12. You will wear your significant other’s t-shirt or hoodie when you’re apart so you can sniff little hints of their deodorant, shampoo, or cologne.

13. You will start using some of their toiletries regularly because it makes you feel closer to wash your face with the same exfoliator and/or moisturize your skin with the same body lotion.

14. You will assign each other incredibly corny nicknames that sound ridiculous in a good way.

15. Sometimes, you will pout and ask “Do you love me?" because you’re so comfortable together that you can fish for reassurance and compliments without feeling at all embarrassed.

16. When they reply, “Yes, of course,” you’ll follow-up with: "How much?" eagerly anticipating their exclamation point worthy answer (More than anything in the world! To the moon and back! More than life itself!), which always makes you happy.

17. You will exchange forkfuls of food at restaurants because a delicious meal tastes yet better when your partner knows how good it is too.

18. You will tag your significant other in ridiculously cheesy social media posts, only half ironically.

19. You’ll even use a lame happy couple hashtag once in awhile without caring who judges you for it.

20. You will wrestle each other to the ground and tickle each other and realize that you’re playing more enthusiastically than you did when you were a kid.

21. You’ll get red-faced jealous when they flirt with other people, even if you’re 100 percent certain they’d never cheat, because your biological instinct is to protect your mate. (There’s a science-y name for this, mate guarding, so no one can blame you for it!)

22. You will set goals and feel more accountable than ever to meet them because you don't want to disappoint the closest thing you’ve ever found to a soulmate.

23. You will start envisioning your future in more detail than ever because life promises to be so much sweeter now that you’ve found your person.TC mark

This Is How You Will Let Go

Posted: 15 May 2016 02:00 PM PDT

Lucy Maude Ellis
Lucy Maude Ellis

It all starts with the pain—the searing, gut wrenching pain that boils inside of you and lives in your arteries. It starts in your heart and then spreads to your extremities and before you know it, your body is poisoned with pain.

It's normally at this point that those close to you tell you it won't last long—that the pain is a normal byproduct of heartbreak, but it will go away in time.

Don't listen. They're wrong.

Because every time that John Mayer song comes on that he swore would be playing when he proposed to you, you're going to hurt. And every time you pass a silver Toyota Camry just like his in the parking lot or on the way to the grocery store, you'll ache. And when you're cleaning out your closet and come across his old sweatshirt that he gave to you when you first started dating, you'll have to resist the urge to scream.

Soon, however, your crying will be constricted to the confines of your bedroom and your tears won't be a public display. Soon, your pain will be so well hidden that even your best friend will start to mention his name casually because she doesn't think it hurts you anymore. This, to some, is the worst stage of letting go because your pain is no longer being shared with those close to you. It takes effort to hide hurt and it can be exhausting to pretend you've moved on when you haven't.

Which is why often this second stage leads to a relapse of the first. Often the difficulty of hiding your heartache leads to dramatic episodes of grief and longing that translate into messy tears and lengthy, slurred voicemails after the liquor takes over.

However, after this stage, the first sliver of hope comes. You have a moment of clarity, normally hangover-induced, where you think to yourself, "How can I still love him? I don't even know who he is anymore!"

But be careful. Because soon you'll realize that you can still love the person you did know, even if he doesn't exist anymore.

Then there will be some repetition of stages 1-3, often in an erratic pattern, until one day a picture of him pops up on Facebook and you don't stare at it for 3 minutes. And you see him in a mutual friend's Snapchat story and don't re-watch it 8 times to see if he's wearing a shirt you bought him or one that you're unfamiliar with. And you see him at a party and don't have to turn away to hide a tear leaking out.

One day, you'll be able to handle the loss. You won't feel the grief and the pain and the aching. One day, you'll learn how to let go. TC mark

Commitment Is Freedom: How To Love One Woman Fully

Posted: 15 May 2016 01:00 PM PDT

Mark Kupasrimonkol
Mark Kupasrimonkol

Men want freedom.

At the core of our being is an untamed, primal man that simply wants to be free. We want freedom so badly that we will fight to the death, and are deeply afraid of anything that we consider a threat to it. We're afraid of getting locked in, having no way out and being stuck for life.

We also want deep love and connection.

As frustrating and unfathomable to women as this may sound, given the choice between deep connection and freedom, many men will choose freedom. While there are men for whom this is not true, this statement will help you understand men.

We have a profound desire for freedom.

Since we often see deep love connection as a threat to our freedom, we end up having to make a choice. On one hand we can have a life where we fully express our purpose and live what's true for us moment by moment but don't engage on the deepest level with our romantic partners. On the other hand we have a life of deep connection and fulfillment in relationships yet we will be limited by not being free to fully live out our purpose in life. Both of these options aren't great, yet this is the reality for many men.

Here is a common scenario, and for the sake of simplicity I'm going to generalize, however the gender roles in this example could easily be reversed.

  • Boy meets girl.
  • Boy and girl start to have feelings for each other that indicate there may be something special about this relationship.
  • Boy holds back and the relationship doesn't get deeper.
  • Girl feels this, gets upset and pressures boy into commitment.
  • Boy resists, protecting his freedom.
  • Boy and girl break up, she is resentful that he wasted her time and he doesn't understand why she needed commitment.

Does that sound familiar? It does in my life. I've seen friends go through this as well. The good news is it doesn't have to be this way. Let's break this down and see what's really going on.

They start to have feelings for each other that indicate there may be something special about this relationship.

  • At this point there is no holding back, both parties are happy and there isn't much (if any) fear about what will happen in the future.

Boy holds back and the relationship doesn't get deeper.

  • The reason he is holding back is because he is associating a deep relationship with entrapment. If he allows himself to love her fully, he can't control the outcome. We all do this, men and women. We don't give ourselves fully to relationships because we're afraid we won't like the outcome in the future.

Girl feels this, gets upset and pressures boy into commitment.

  • This is her best attempt at getting what she really wants: a deep connection. I'm convinced that all women have ever wanted was a deep connection, and their best attempt is often to corner a man into being with them exclusively. What's interesting here is that we as men often associate deep relationships with exclusivity, and if we're with a woman but it's not exclusive, we don't treat her with the same respect. It's us as men shooting ourselves in the foot.

Boy resists, protecting his freedom.

  • This makes sense, since the girl isn't really telling him what she wants (although she's doing her best). She is saying she wants commitment, when what she really wants is closeness. She wants him to stop holding back his love.

Boy and girl break up, she is resentful that he wasted her time and he doesn't understand why she needed commitment.

A Lesson Learned

After going through this last scenario myself, my life was changed by three words I read in a book from Deepak Chopra called "A Path to Love".

Love is unpredictable.

That's it. If it's love, it's unpredictable. I realized that if I wanted to have deep, loving relationships, I had to give up a particular outcome. I had to let it be out of my control. I could hold back and have the life I thought I wanted or I could love fully and roll the universal dice. Only if I was willing to roll the dice and give up control would it be possible for me to fully experience a deep relationship.

But what was I really giving up? Having the life I thought I wanted?

When I looked back over my life I realized I've never really known what was best for me. Whether it's where I want to end up living, what kind of work I will want to do or what my relationships will look like, I've never been able to accurately predict my own future. Can you say the same about yourself?

If that's true, than me trying to make my life fit into a certain box in the future is crazy, stressful, and takes a lot of energy. It's also a great way to have a boring, predictable love life. Is that what you really want? A love life that's exactly what you thought it would be?

What Happened When I Let Go

Something amazing happened when I finally let go and started loving women fully, without holding back. I actually felt for the first time that my partner was enhancing my whole life, and I was enhancing her's as well.

I was sharing everything, being as honest as I could and showing her the parts of me I used to hide. When I formed deep romantic relationships with women, a funny thing happened…

I stopped being afraid of losing my freedom.

I realized that my fear of being with one woman forever was based on a faulty assumption of what's possible in relationships. Of course I wouldn't want a life-long relationship if all I had to compare with were the relationships in my past where I was holding back to try and control the outcome. No one would want that.

When I actually felt what it was like to be in a deep, loving relationship, I realized my life would be far better with this person than without them.

While I can't speak for all men, the peculiar reason I resisted deep relationships was that I never really experienced a great one, and it was because I never let myself fall in love. It wasn't the fault of the women I was with, it was me holding back, trying to control the outcome.

A New Definition of Commitment

For most of my love life, commitment was the scariest word in the dictionary. I couldn't get on board with the idea that I would be giving a guarantee on how things would be in the future. For that reason, I decided to redefine commitment in a way that worked for me.

Commitment is not about an outcome the future, it's about how deeply I'm involved in the present. It may speak to how I relate to the future, but it is not a guarantee of what will happen in the future.

This brought me a lot of peace of mind. I saw that anything other than being deeply committed would be a waste, since I wouldn't be fully experiencing the relationship that was happening right now. Four months after I met my wife, I finally got clear on what commitment meant to me in a relationship. It meant playing full-out. The shift for me happened after a conversation I had with a friend from Vancouver named Meeka.

Meeka is totally obsessed with her business and she will become one of the most successful network marketers in Vancouver (if she's not already). She is working with a company called Vemma and one of their products is a healthy energy drink called "Verve". As I looked around her house, I couldn't help but notice that it was covered with Verve products. Her Christmas tree was even decorated with Verve cans. The way she spoke about this company and the people in it was inspiring. Clearly, she was fully committed to this business.

I said to her, "Meeka, I love how committed you are" and her response startled me. She said "yeah, it's just like being married".

Whoa…

What I saw was that I could commit fully to a business, yet I didn't know how to commit to a relationship.

I looked at my relationship and one thing was very clear. I didn't want to look back and regret anything. I was done holding back. That was the day I decided to play full out, and be two feet in my relationship.

The next day I proposed to my wife, exactly four months after we met.

What's really important to not mistake here is the order that went in. Marriage was a by-product of my commitment, it wasn't the catalyst. My decision to get married came after the decision to play the relationship full-out.

The Freedom of Commitment

99% commitment is hard as hell, 100% is a breeze.

You know this to be true in some areas of your life, but is it true for you in romantic relationships? I'm not making a pitch for you to get married, but I am making a pitch for you to stop holding back.

The most counter-intuitive thing I discovered in this journey was that the freedom I was seeking was only found through being 100% in.

Life is too short to not experience the full depth of love with people, whether it's your family, friends or romantic partners. You know the ways in which you're holding back right now, and if you don't, consider that you only have one month to live. That's it, then you're gone.

How would you live?

How would you love? TC mark

This Is What You Need To Know About The Girl Who’s Happier Without You

Posted: 15 May 2016 12:00 PM PDT

Drew Wilson
Drew Wilson

You need to know that it’s not entirely your fault. You didn’t recognize how rare she is, but not everyone is born with the ability to recognize a diamond in the rough. You thought she was common just like you, so you treated her the way you treat all your other girls. You said goodbye and you watched her blossom without you.

If you’re wondering why she couldn’t be the happy, vibrant woman you see now when she was with you, know that water seeks it’s own level. When she was with you, she became like you. She was dulled because you are dull.

There’s a phenomena that fishers have noticed when dealing with crabs — if you have a bunch in a bucket, they won’t go anywhere even though one by one they could escape. As a unit, they grab at each other to prevent one from escaping before the other. Some people are like this, they don’t want someone else to shine because they are afraid their own time won’t come. You need to consider the possibility that you were like this, that your fear held her back.

When you watch your ex become happier than she has ever been at a point in life (a recent breakup) where most people are sad, you should let it worry you a little. This is the good kind of worry. It’s the kind that’s productive, that leads to you understanding your own shortcomings and getting better because of it. How many of your other exes have moved on to bigger and better things because you failed to see them for what they were?

Maybe next time a good woman comes along you will appreciate how rare that is. Maybe it took seeing that losing you isn’t a loss for her to understand that the possibility exists that just maybe you aren’t as great as you think you are. You are mortal and you make mistakes. This is one of them. May you learn from it. TC mark