Thought Catalog

If You’re Brave Enough, Here Are The Instructions From An Obscure Korean Elevator ‘Game’ That Might Take You To Another World

Posted: 27 May 2016 08:00 PM PDT

via Flickr - Jamal Fanaian
via Flickr – Jamal Fanaian

There are a number of “games” out there but I’d never heard of this one called ‘Elevator To Another World’. It apparently comes from Korea but there’s no word on who first discovered it and I can’t read the first hand accounts because Google Translate won’t work. It says it’s translated everything into English but there’s no translation which I find pretty odd.


I was, however, able to locate what claims to be a translation of the game which appears from several years ago. The instructions appear below. Be very careful with this. Some claim that the infamous video of Elisa Lam shows her playing this game. She was, of course, later found dead in a rooftop water cistern.

Whether it’s real or not, proceed with extreme caution. It’s claimed that this game, done correctly, takes you to another world where everything is just like in the normal world except you are the only person and the world is dark. Some who claim to have successfully returned after playing the game report a red cross in the distance but all claim to have become disoriented and had trouble remembering how to get back.

A good precaution might be to write the return instructions on your hand provided there’s enough light to see if you’re able to make the trip.

Here is how to play the game. Good luck.

The Elevator To Another World

Only one person can play at a time. You can only perform this ritual in a building at least 10 stories high with at least one elevator in it. You cannot proceed otherwise.



  1. Enter the elevator from the first floor by yourself. If anyone else gets on then understand that you cannot continue from the first floor and wait until the elevator can be taken alone.
  2. Press the button for the fourth floor.
  3. Do not get out when the elevator reaches the fourth floor. Stay in the elevator and press the button for the second floor.
  4. Do not get out when you reach the second floor. Stay on the elevator and then press the button for the sixth floor.
  5. Do not get out when you reach the sixth floor, remain in the elevator and press the button for the second floor.
  6. Do not get out when you reach the second floor. Stay on the elevator and press the button for the tenth floor. Some have reported hearing a voice calling to them on the second floor during this middle section of the ritual. Do not reply. Do not answer in any way.
  7. Do not get out once you have reached the tenth floor. Stay on and and press the button for the fifth floor.
  8. It has been reported by some that a woman may enter the elevator on floor five. She may appear as a stranger who wishes to engage with you. More importantly, she  may appear as someone you know. It is important that you do not acknowledge her in word or glance. If the elevator you are in is reflective then stare at the floor or the buttons only.
  9. Now press the button to head to the first floor. If instead of going towards the first floor you instead begin to ascend to the tenth then you have performed the ritual correctly. However, and this is very important, if you instead do descend to the first floor then you have done something wrong. Get off on the first floor immediately. If the woman is on the elevator then remember not to acknowledge her.
  10. If you reach the tenth floor, you can either stay on the elevator or exit the elevator. Some have reported that upon attempting to leave the elevator, the woman will try one last time to engage with you. She may raise her voice and ask where you are going or “what’s wrong”. She may shriek as you cross the door’s threshold. Keep your wits about you and do not engage or look at her even out of fear.
  11. There is only one way to know whether you have traveled to the Other world for sure. You will know because you will be the only person there.

Traveling Back To Your Home World:

Alternatively, if you do not exit on the 10th floor:

  1. Press the button for the first floor and keep pressing it until the elevator begins to move.
  2. Once you have reached the first floor, exit immediately. Do not exit on any other floors but the first. Do not acknowledge the woman if she is on the elevator. If anyone else gets on then do not speak to them either. Remain silent.

If you do exit the elevator at the tenth floor:

  1. The elevator you used to get there is the only one you can use to return. Remember it.
  2. When you get back on the elevator, press the buttons in the same order you did in steps 2 through 8 which you used to travel. This should take you to the fifth floor.
  3. Once you have reached the fifth floor, press the button for the first floor. Do not be surprised when you instead begin to ascend again to the tenth floor. Do not panic. You can press the button of any floor lower than ten to stop ascending but you have to do it before you again reach the tenth floor. Some have described feeling called not to cancel the elevator’s ascension. You must.
  4. Once you have canceled the ascension and reached the first floor make sure that everything seems normal to you. If anything seems remotely strange. If you hear anything you should not be hearing. If you smell something you don’t recognize then do not exit the elevator. You have to repeat step two until everything on the first floor seems normal. This is very important.
  5. Once you are satisfied that everything on the first floor is as it should be in your world then you can exit the elevator.

Additional Information on Traveling:

  • The Otherworld has been described by travelers as dark but otherwise exactly like your ‘home’ world. Again, you will know that it is not your world because no one else will be there. You may see a distant red cross through a window. This may be a cross or it may be something else.
  • Electronics often do not work but some have posted videos claimed to have been taken while traveling to the Otherworld
  • You may become disoriented if you exit on the tenth floor. You may feel dizzy. Be vigilant, pay attention to how you are feeling, and keep your wits about you.
  • If you pass out you may wake up at home but, understand, it may not be your “home” world. It also may not be the Otherworld you intended to travel to by invoking this ritual. Examine everything around you to make sure it’s as it should be.
  • If you get on the wrong elevator on your return trip then do not enter the return sequence. It will not work.

Regarding the woman:

Do NOT speak to her.

Do NOT look at her.

Do NOT check to see if she is still there.

She is.

P.S. If you play this game I would love to hear an account of your experience. Email me at TC mark

How To Tell If An ISFJ Likes You (As Told By 15 ISFJs)

Posted: 27 May 2016 07:00 PM PDT



1. “Although I’m not the type to typically be bold, I purposely put myself in situations where I’m likely to cross paths with the person I like. I try to find little ways to talk to them so that I can engage without coming across too eager. I smile and laugh a lot when they talk.”


2. “Helpfulness and attention to detail pretty much sums up my actions when showing my romantic interest. Constant, subtle actions are the clues. If you’re in the middle of a big project, I’ll offer to help. I’ll even postpone one of my current projects and move you to the top of my priority list. If your project is small enough, chances are I’ll complete it on my own to save you the stress. If I find out you love chocolate, I’ll bake you a plateful of brownies. Want someone to hang on your every word and laugh at all your jokes? You got it! Verbally expressing my feelings isn’t easy. If you look for the subtle clues of helpfulness and devoted attention you’ll find the path to my heart.”


3. “I don’t do it on purpose, but I ALWAYS end up getting into whatever they’re into. And we slowly become closer, cause no way in heck am I going to tell them outright how I feel.”


4. “If an ISFJ likes you they will just tell you how they feel!”


5. “I usually joke with them…at their expense. I also suddenly start to get interested in anything they said they like…even if it was an offhand comment. I also blush uncontrollably. And finally, I’m straight up with my feelings. No games.”


6. “I try my hardest to communicate with them. Simply putting in the effort to talk to someone continually and put the work in to make it meaningful conversation is how I show that I am interested! This can be through being inquisitive about their day, creating inside jokes, asking to study together (even if I don’t need help in the class), grabbing coffee, etc. I believe this is derived from many ISFJs’ love language of Quality Time.”


7. “When I like someone I show them a lot of attention through spending time with them, texting them and sending them links that remind me of them.”


8. “When I like someone I secretly stalk the person and try to get to know more about them. I also tell my most trusted ones about my interest, hoping my interest will get to know about this.”


9. “I let someone know I like them by texting them a lot about their day and inviting them to do fun activities we mutually enjoy.”


10. “If I like you, I will probably get really quiet around you – but I’ll remember little details about what you have told me (e.g. a food you like, your favorite type of music to listen to). You’ll find I incorporate those things into our time together to show you matter to me. I will spend A LOT of time learning the things that matter to you – if you like a TV show I will have gone out of my way to watch all the seasons, if it’s a sport I will look up the terms used in the sport, etc. I will try the things you claim to like even if in the past I haven’t really liked that type of thing. Also note, we do some of these things for people who we care about as friends, but if I like you as more than a friend I spend a LOT more time trying to make sure I can join you in a LOT of your interests. I will try to make sure you are included, well cared for, happy, feeling special and loved – as much as I possibly can.”


11.“I remember little details about them and will do little things for them. I’ll keep track of their favourite foods, music, teams. Also, I tend to be a little extra quiet and shy around them. I want to hear them speak, I want to know how they think and I want to know how they will love.”


12. “I will ask that person a lot if questions to get to know them. I will tend to be really patient and attentive.”


13. “I usually realize I’ve become interested in whatever they’re interested in and then feel a little like a stalker in retrospect. But it’s like, a genuine interest. I want to enter their world. If I find someone interesting, I want to love what they love. But I don’t want to look like a creeper so I try not to be weird about it.”


14. “I’ll start finding small ways to touch them. Like a slightly longer hug than normal or putting my hand on his arm.”


15. “When I like someone I will sacrifice my time to help them. I’ll go beyond the norm to help out with something, or give them a gift for no reason.”TC mark


Pick up Heidi’s book “How You’ll Do Everything Based On Your Personality Type” here.


27 Orally Obsessed Women Share Exactly Why They Find Giving Blowjobs Soooo Hot

Posted: 27 May 2016 06:00 PM PDT

©2016 Nastia Cloutier-Ignatiev -
©2016 Nastia Cloutier-Ignatiev –

1. Obsessed But They Have To Deserve It

I haven’t been in LTRs in a few years and I was celibate for quite a few years and I don’t know what happened, maybe it was porn, and the scarcity of contact with a penis that I really got into blow jobs. I have always been into them when I was younger and in relationships, but nowadays, I am pretty obsessed…in the past couple of years, when I give them to a partner, and in the few times I have tried casual sex, I often get the flustered “OMG it’s the best I have ever had.” At the same time, I am really picky about dating and I am not actually into FWBs. I want someone who is the “whole package”, I don’t like doing this to just random people, it has to feel like they deserve it.

2. It’s So Rewarding

For me, I just love making a guy squirm, seeing the faces he makes, and hearing the things he says. I get no real physical pleasure from doing it, but the experience is so rewarding. I love it. Last time the boy was like squirming and his legs like squeezed up against me and he kept looking up saying “that’s so good” and things like that, and grabbing my hair and stuff. All of that just makes it SO worth it. I never thought I would like giving head, but I love love love it.

3. The Feeling

Feeling it get hard in my mouth is awesome :)

4. It’s Satisfying

There’s something so satisfying about licking and sucking him to a fully erect state.

5. “It’s My Thing”

Love giving blow jobs because it’s like my thing. I love the noises they make and how their legs shake and swallowing. Just makes me feel dirty/sexy… and the fact most guys have said they’ve ‘”ever had a blow job like that in their life” makes me feel good.

6. This Is How I Do It

Oh god this is gonna sound awful but if i’m chatting to a guy I always end up saying this if it the conversation gets ‘dirty’…but this is also genuinely exactly how I give head.

“So you’ll be lying down and I slowly kiss down your neck going lower and lower, take your boxers off and start gliding my tounge up and down until I let you enter my mouth.I start slowly sucking until the tip of my tongue reaches your tip and I then do a swirling motion then spit on your cock to make it wetter and wetter. I then start sucking going from slow to fast motions going deeper and deeper.. using my tongue and my entire mouth i carry on going faster and faster continuing the swirling motions until you think you can’t take it anymore I’ll jump on your cock and ride it, grinding it slow then fast with my tits bouncing up and down in your face. you suck my nipples then gently bite them whilst i’m riding your cock ANd just when you’re about to cum you’ll pull out and i’ll jump off you role over on my back and you;ll be knelt over me your cock throbbing for me and i’ll use my hand to finish you off all over my chest and face”

that’ll do ;)

7. He Had To Pull Me Off Him

I love knowing that I’m giving intense pleasure. The moans, the tensing of his legs, just UMPH.

Apparently I’m kinda awesome at it too, because I’ve gotten ‘that was the best I’ve ever had’ on many occasions, have been told my mouth sent them to nirvana, and my most recent had to pull me off because I was gonna ‘kill’ him if didn’t stop.

I live to hear those things.

8. It’s All About Their Reaction

For me it’s 95% about knowing I’m affecting him. About hearing him, feeling, being touched, getting that little circle of ‘Your excitement makes me more excited to do it’ going.

That means that if a guy is shitty at receiving head – no response, doesn’t engage with me – it’s about as exciting as licking a doorknob.

9. Loves The Control

There’s something that seems so submissive about it, but in reality, you’re the one in control of his pleasure (give or take some hair pulling). There’s always a very specific sigh I get about 5 seconds in where I can tell he has relaxed and is in full on pleasure mode and it’s all because of me. That is such a good feeling. God, I love blowjobs.

10. It Gets Me So Wet

I love to give a nice and long bj. Hearing the moans, seeing him squirm. It makes me so wet it’s ridiculous. I would give more bjs if I had the opportunity to my boyfriend. But we both work a lot.

11. His Reactions Make Me Feel Sooo Sexy

Giving makes me feel super sexy. I like having the control but also love the feeling of submission I get from giving. I can’t really decide what my favorite part is. On a purely physical level, I love the feeling of his head in my mouth; it just feels nice. It’s fun to suck and run my tongue over. But I also love his little whimper of “Oh fuck, baby, I’m gonna cum.” It’s such a turn on and I love watching him squirm when I tell him he’s not allowed to cum yet. I really just love going down on him.

12. Vocal Guys Are The Best

I crave having his dick in my mouth. And I enjoy treating him like a king. I find it more pleasurable than him performing oral on me. He doesn’t complain haha. I also enjoy making him moan. My guy is very vocal so when I get him going it can be fun. I also love the taste of his cum. So that’s a bonus to me.

13. Such A Massive Turn On

For me it’s a massive turn on, knowing the reason he is squirming and moaning is because of what I’m doing. I love to lick/suck/fondle his balls too, teasing him right up to the edge. My favourite part is feeling his cock twitch in my mouth when he’s trying so so hard not to come.

14. I Might Enjoy It Even More Than He Does

I’m pretty sure I enjoy giving head just as much, if not more than my bf like receiving it. I’m not sure what it is about him, but I’ve never enjoyed giving oral as much as I do with him. First of all, he has a very nice-looking, large but not too large dick that he always keeps clean, which is a plus. I love feeling it get hard in my mouth, I love licking his shaft and balls while I deep throat, I love really sucking on the tip and I love the way he looks at me while I’m going at it. We are always giggling and smiling and having fun, which is probably my favorite part. The fact that he lets me swallow is a huge plus too.

15. It’s Completely Overwhelming

Oh man, few things make me wetter than giving oral to a guy. Dunno that I can pinpoint any “favourite” thing about it, though. There’s just so much going on that it can be almost overwhelming. The musky scent, the taste of skin, the texture differences between shaft and head, the noises they make (especially the whimpering and pleading), the absolute control you have over them, the list goes on. And few things rub your ego quite like having someone stop you because they can’t speak otherwise to tell you that you’re the best they’ve ever had. I don’t even need sex a lot of the time if my guy is up for getting blown.

16. Her Signature Move

I love watching his face and all the moans he can’t contain! My favourite part though is after he’s come and I continue a little longer, then finish by licking the his whole length while looking him straight in the eyes. It drives him wild!

17. I Love His Reaction To Me Being Turned On By It

I generally like, if not love giving blowjobs. It’s fun, I’m pretty good at it, I like the way he tastes/smells, and it turns me on. Sometimes after the blow job, my boyfriend runs his finger along my slit and gets a big, dumb smile on his face once he realizes that giving him head actually made me wet. Penises are generally fun for me – they change shape and size when you touch them, they smell and taste good, the feel nice inside me etc…

18. Some Days…I Crave It

I love it when I’m in the mood. I have no idea why but there are some days where I’m actually craving the feel of cock in my mouth and I basically need to persuade my boyfriend to let me do it. I think it’s partially to do with his scent that he emits during sex but also possibly to do with the fact that I’ve watched an insane amount of porn.

19. “I Can Orgasm While Doing It”

I enjoy it a lot, more so than receiving oral. Its a huge turn on and I can orgasm while doing it. I love pleasuring someone else, taking my time, learning all their little buttons. And the submissive side of me really likes being on my knees.

20. Sometimes I Just Interrupt And Unzip Him

I love giving them. I just love the feel of it in my mouth and i love teasing him.

I always just stroke him and kiss his penis head and give little licks. After a minute, he is begging and trying to push my head down.

Once I am actually sucking, I love to hear him make little sounds and moan and look at him in the eyes. So sexy.

I love it so much my boyfriend will be talking about something (non sexual) and I will just unzip his pants and go to town. Then he will be like umm, what was I saying? Sometimes he gets mad because he was talking. hah

I also got him a tenga egg the other day and I gave him a hand job with it. He loved it! He said it felt like he was inside of me, but obviously not actually. He definitely recommends it to other guys.

21. He Tastes Yummy

At first it was awkward because of the gag reflex but the more I did it the more that went away. I love giving oral. I love how he sucks in his breath when I move my tongue a certain way. Or when he’s telling me not to stop . My favorite time to do it is when he’s doing something. Like talking on the phone or playing games. I love distracting him and he tastes yummy.

22. “God, It’s Been Too Long”

If it’s a dick that I really find attractive, attached to a guy who knows what he’s doing in that department (grooming, diet for the sake of cum taste, etc), I want to suck it for hours. Even longer if it’s a guy who’s vocal and shows the pleasure he’s receiving through squirms and moans and shudders.

Basically, if his cum doesn’t taste gross and if he doesn’t just sit there breathing hard, I’m much more excited to go down. A man who shows reactions is the sexiest man ever, in my books. God, it’s been too long.

23. Don’t Forget Balls Though

Balls are fun. I had an ex that didn’t like having his balls touched at all and it was the most depressing thing in the world for me.

24. Fancy Technique

Personally, I absolutely LOVE oral sex. I have fun with it. I kiss it, nuzzle the base, rub my breasts against it, stroke the balls, lightly suck them, blow on the head, and generally just adore it. Its the enthusiasm that I put in to my blow jobs that make them fun. But it also sounds like he’s not very responsive. Ask him if he’ll give you a little more feed back. Also, I find a technique that works well: flatten your hand against his base, with your index and thumb circling his base. Deep throat, or as deep as you can go, and as you lift your mouth simultaneously raise your hand, circling the rest of your fingers as your hand raises. Its like combining an BJ and HJ into one. My man LOVES this, and it gets him there much faster than either on their own.

25. “You’ve Got To Worship The Dick”

Blowjobs are part physical, part psychological. The real appeal doesn’t come from the physicality of it for me, but for the fact that I know the sight of me with my mouth wrapped around his dick is something he’ll have a mental snapshot of forever. Pretty sexy, right?

So the key for me is really getting into it. I love driving him crazy and making him make those little sounds of approval while I blow him. It becomes a game where I’m aiming to please, so with each partner I make sure to tell them to let me know when they like it.

Additionally, I’ve got to have a positive attitude about it. I can’t feel like I’m OBLIGATED to blow him. When I go down on my manfriend, I really want to, and I suck that thing like I’m on The Price is Right and I want to win the fucking convertible. You’ve got to worship the dick. That’s all I’m sayin’.

26. Like A Different Kind Of Deep Kissing

I ask/beg to do it. It drives me crazy even fantasizing about it. My vulva gets puffy and wet from giving head. Every time. It gives me a similar sensation I get from deep kissing. I think I have an oral fixation.

27. Dirty And Submissive

I love giving my man head. I love how in control I feel if he is laying on the bed, or how he can make me feel dirty and submissive if I’m on my knees. Giving my man a 5 star blowy is the fastest way to get me wet and ready for him. And, once I get him to come in my mouth or on my tits, he eats me out and lasts forever for me. Totally worth the pleasure I know he gets. TC mark

Don’t You Worry About Me, I’ll Be Fine

Posted: 27 May 2016 05:01 PM PDT

nasrul ekram
nasrul ekram

Love is a beautiful thing, isn't it?

Taking over our minds and hearts, driving us crazy, making us feel heart-pounding excitement and jaw-clenching anxiety and the warmth of bliss all mixed together.

I fell in love with you.

There, I said it. I'm not afraid.

I'm not afraid to tell the world that I needed you, that you meant everything to me, that our lives were intertwined for a moment, that our love had the promise of forever tied to it with ribbon, a ribbon that loosened and unraveled over time.

See, love is imperfect, despite how we pretend it's the answer to all we're looking for, all we need. Yes, it's beautiful, but that doesn't mean it won't fail sometimes. Won't fail when we're holding onto it the tightest.

See, the two of us—we sparked and we burned—and then we burned out.

We were the flame that flickered towards the end; the candle that hit the wick. We used to be so bright but we faded. Sometimes change and stubbornness and distrust do that to even the strongest of lights.

Sometimes you lose what you had so you learn to let go.

And you did, didn't you.

You found ways to distract yourself, new hands to hold. You moved on like what we were wasn't anything, like I wasn't the brightest star in your universe.

But I can't be mad at you.

Sometimes love does funny things to the way we think. Sometimes love gives us the strength to let go when we least expect it.

I'm not bitter.

But don't you worry your head over me. I'm not sad either. I'm not spending my days looking into the mirror, hating my reflection because I can no longer see you. I don't see my life stretched out before me, long and empty without you in it.

I'm no longer hanging onto the possibility of you like a lucky coin in my back pocket. Our time has come and gone and I only think of you when I stumble upon our memories.

You were the love I once had, the love that no longer aches in the deepest part of my heart. I'm over you.

And I'll be fine.

So don't you worry about me. I have plans outside the realms of who we were. I have dreams that extend far beyond what we had planned. The corners of my mouth are no longer turned down; they are curved into a smile that welcomes the world. A smile that will even find its way onto my face when I see you, because I hold no remorse.

Don't worry about me, I'll be fine.

Our love is like a stain—something permanent, but something I'll only see if I look for it, if show it to the world, if I pull it from the back of my memory.

A stain only marks the surface. And I will continue without thinking of you, without aching or longing.

The thing about stains is that they become a part of you, but they don't define you.

You learn to cover them up, to blend them in, to make them a part of your outfit. Or you learn to simply put that shirt aside and wear something completely new.

So don't worry your pretty little head over how I'm feeling.

Yes, I loved you, and a part of me always will. No, I'm not over you just yet, because things like that take time. But in the meantime, I'm not crying over you. I'm not hiding my face or sitting by myself alone, afraid and empty.

I'm living my life because there is more to me than us.
And there always will be.

So bury yourself in whatever you need—vices, new faces, kisses—but don't you spend time wondering what I'm doing. I'm continuing my life without you, chasing things that make me as happy as your smile once did.

I'm finding my own light, my own candle.
My own spark that will only burn out if I let it.
And I won’t let it. TC mark

When You Realize You Made Someone A Priority, While You Were Simply An Option

Posted: 27 May 2016 04:00 PM PDT

Kara Kupfer
Kara Kupfer

I can't believe you still come to mind so often.

Generally, I am flying high without you in my life. I am more confident, more independent, more clear-headed, and more emotionally stable. Work is great. Good men are interested in me. The sun is out and I am feeling more peaceful every day. At first, following your weak-ass goodbye and total disregard for my feelings, I had such terrible anxiety that I chewed all my fingernails down to the quick. I couldn't sleep. I cried so regularly it became almost comforting to feel tears in my eyes. I knew that you knew I was seeing you find other women. And it cut me so deeply, frustrated me so powerfully, that I couldn't imagine not feeling that sting every day.

On that note, I knew exactly what those new women were to you, as soon as you started liking all their Instagram photos. You paint them as innocuous, just as you did to the other ones before her. It's the same game, all over again. Another hot girl conquest. Another way to stir my pot and taste my jealous steam. Another person to give you that shallow self-esteem boost that you so desperately need from women. You'll take anyone who strokes your ego, really, and string them along until you grow tired of the game. The hot stupid ones with great asses and embarrassing narcissism. The dark angry ones who taunt you and fuck you and make you feel just a little too dirty. The smart bubbly ones with pathetically endless affection and patience for you.

We all fall in love with you, and you delight in breaking us down slowly and carefully, like a good cardboard box, and discarding us.

You find our faults because you're afraid. You can't really love anyone because you hate yourself so much. You pretend to love; you feign affection and enter women’s lives with vampiric intention, playing us like a familiar set of chords until we fall under your bizarre, inexplicable spell. You're a parasite. You have no desire to bring real joy to another person's life for their sake; there's always something in it for you. You take, or you give so that can complain about a lack of reciprocation. You never give just to give.

Speaking of that inexplicable spell, I have never been able to wrap my head around why my love for you was so great. You've been unemployed, lost, and stagnant for God knows how long. You claim that vapid hipster hobbies are your passions, yet your pursuit of them is purely verbal. You constantly victimize yourself and take no responsibility for any negative goings-on in your life. And save for the fact that I wanted you more than I've wanted anyone in my life, the sex wasn't even great. I wanted it to be, but it was distant and forced. I cried in the shower afterwards.

I wish that after I told you I was hurting and you chose to shove me out the window so callously, I could have just hit the ground and started an amnesiac’s second life, living in blissful ignorance of you. Truly, I can't believe I fell for all your insecure bullshit, and let you condescend me and treat me like I had flaws that made me unworthy of love. I loved you SO MUCH, even with all the fucked up shit that you put on my plate. I wanted to heal you, so that you could see yourself the way I saw you. I wanted your evils to melt away when I was with you, so that you'd be the best you. The delighted, affectionate man I saw when we stomped around in the snow. That day was wonderful, aspirational.

I hope you remember it fondly and achingly for the rest of your life, so you always recall what life is like when I love you.

I don't think I love you anymore, because I've been so plagued with hatred and hurt at your hands. But I know I wouldn't still feel the sting if I didn't at least love you a little bit still. I can't wait for that to go away. It disgusts me. You've been so heartless and cold. You've only served yourself in your attempts to keep me on the line. You don't care about me, and I don't know that you ever did, because of how easy it was for you to let me go. I must be rather arrogant myself, because I clung to the idea that you would miss me enough that you would realize the err of your decision to shrug me off.

I think (I know) that’s what bothers me most. I knew I was the best woman and could give you the best love you’d ever know; you treated me like a selfish convenience, while I made you a priority. I hate that I didn’t have the disinterest. I hate that you did.

I sometimes find myself hoping you never find real love as a punishment for breaking my heart. But in moments of greater clarity, I hope I look back on this and feel silly for thinking you were anyone important. TC mark

To All The Broken Ones, This Is What I Wish For You When You Find Love

Posted: 27 May 2016 03:00 PM PDT

I hope you find the one who makes you feel home, whether you’re laying right next to them or just thinking of them from a thousand miles away. I hope that their voice spreads a tingling warmth throughout your body, that even the sound alone has the power to make you feel safe and peaceful.

I hope you feel an intense joy explode throughout your body just from feeling them breathe in and out, from knowing that you’re close enough to feel their chest rise and fall and that at least in this moment, they are very much alive. I hope that the knowledge of their health and safety and proximity to you brings you a gratitude stronger than anything you’ve felt before.

I hope that they make you feel whole again. Not because it is their job to fix you or that you are incapable of saving yourself, but because it’s just easier for you to put the broken pieces of yourself back together when you have someone standing by your side, handing you super glue or encouraging words when you need them.

I hope that they love you all the more for your jaded edges, that they want to know how you got each little cut and bruise so that they can ensure your story is no longer being carried on your shoulders alone.

I hope you find someone who finally makes you feel like you don’t have to pretend. Someone who loves you for your bright spots but is just as happy to be with you on the dark days. And I hope you find someone who shares their dark days with you too, so you can understand how easy it is to still love someone despite their so-called imperfections, so that you can see how quickly you look past these bumps and love them even more for sharing them. And that hopefully, after doing that, you’ll be able to process the fact that they feel the same way about you.

I hope you find someone who makes you feel a connection stronger than you’ve ever felt with any other human being in your life, even when you haven’t spoken a single word to one another. I hope you find someone who, from a single glance or a touch of the hand, conveys to you that you truly are the opposite of alone.

I hope you find the one who makes you feel like a thousand pounds have been lifted off your chest, even when they haven’t fixed your actual problem at hand. The one who makes you feel better simply for knowing that there is someone out there who hears what you’re going through and understands what’s keeping you up at night. Someone who, although they can’t shelter you from your problems, can at least make you feel like you have the support to get through them on your own.

I hope you find someone who makes you laugh again, who reminds you that humor can still twinkle lightly even in the heaviest of moments.

I hope you find someone who opens your eyes to the stories happening all around you, who shows you that you are not the only one who feels like they’re barely keeping their head above water.

I hope you find someone who listens instead of just hearing, who looks you in the eye, who does what they promise they’re going to do, who tells you the truth instead of telling you what is easy, who carries you during your rough patches and knows you’re just as capable of taking care of them. Someone who tells you it’s okay to be sad but doesn’t give up until they’ve made you smile, who expects the best out of you because they’ve seen what you’re capable of, who turns to you for advice and gives you their own when you need it, who always makes you feel like you have a partner, no matter what.

And most of all, I hope you find someone who is just as broken as you, so that they can help you understand just how easy you are to love. TC mark

Read This If You’ve Just Been Rejected And You Feel Like Crawling Under A Rock To Die

Posted: 27 May 2016 02:30 PM PDT

So you've just been rejected! Congratulations – welcome to the club. Grab a nametag at the door and a drink to the right of the welcome mat. If you want to skip the name tag, that's fine. We all more than understand the crippling sense of shame that you are currently trying to push down. It's cool if you want to stay anonymous for a while.

Your first stop in the rejection arrival hall is the Pile Of Irrational Thoughts. We all contribute a few when we get here, because carrying them around all night gets tiring. If you're looking to draw inspiration from other Incorrect And Irrational Thoughts that we find being frequently contributed to the pile, here are a few that pop up often:

• You are the only person that this has ever happened to and it happened to you because you're not good enough.

• If you'd been louder or quieter or thinner or hotter or richer, this wouldn't have happened.

• No one is ever going to love you again, not even your Mom.

• Speaking of your Mom, she's heard all about what just happened and she's disappointed in you.

• Everything was fine and on track until you did that one highly specific thing that blew the whole she-bang.

• Everyone you meet is just going to know that this happened. They're going to see you walking down the street and be like "Oh something's different…. It's REJECTION. I can smell it on him/her," and this will continue to happen for a very long time, basically until you die.

• This is the only thing that has ever mattered and now that you've failed at it, nothing matters.

• All your friends and colleagues are sitting in a room together LOL-ing over the tweet you posted last week, vaguely referencing your hope that this would work out.

• You are not as good as other people and you are never going to be.

• Everyone who has ever rejected you is currently just sitting around swirling scotch, cackling and thinking about how pathetic you are.

Are you done rooting through the pile yet? Because this goes on for ages. The sheer volume of self-deprecating judgments that show up to berate us post-rejection are incredible. It's as though every part of our mind riles against us, trying to justify what happened in the absolute worst way possible.

But here's a simpler, more realistic truth about why things happened the way they did:

Rejection happens because it just does.

It happens because your values are not aligned with someone else's. It happens because the timing is hopelessly wrong. It happens because all the intricacies of someone else's lives don't always line up with the intricacies of ours and to be honest, life would be boring if they did.

If we didn't occasionally fail miserably at what we wanted, success would become commonplace and dull. It's the trying that ends up mattering most. It's the trying that pushes us in directions we'd have never expected.

But this is what we so often forget when we have been rejected: that we did not show up in a bad place. Sure, none of us want to be milling around in the Reject's Hall. We want to be living it up in the Winner's Corner, popping champagne and triumphantly updating our Facebook statuses. But the truth is, there's a worse place you could be – and that is the pathetic no-man's land of People Who Never Try For Anything.

The only thing worse than being a rejected person is being a person who's never had to face rejection because they've never actually gone for something. Because they've played it small and safe their entire lives and now have no story to tell for themselves.

You see, as much as it hurts to be you in this exact moment, it hurts to be the other kind of person all of the time.

The pain of rejection is sharp but short-lived. The pain of playing it safe your whole life is a dull, throbbing ache that will eventually swallow you whole.

And so you see, it is good that you've arrived here. The Rejection Place is not somewhere that you're going to stay long. Because people like you know better.

People like you know that when you're feeling unwanted and let down, you have to act counter-intuitively. Instead of secluding yourself further and leaning away from your life, you have to get back up and try again. Take risks again. Put yourself out there again, even if it means chancing further rejection and disappointment.

People like you don't let a singular rejection turn you into a timid, tired version of yourself who stays indoors and refuses to go after what he or she wants in life. Because at the end of the day, that's the only real way to lose out. That's the only true failure that exists.

So now that you've realized the reality about the position you're in, I think it's time you moved away from the Pile of Irrational Thoughts. There's another pile of thoughts, in a better-lit room that I want you to check out. I call it the ‘Pile Of Things That Are Probably True,’ and it includes little reminders like this:

• The rejection itself was not personal, it was the result of someone living a complex and nuanced life, which just happens to not revolve around you.

• You got rejected because you tried at something, and in the long run, being the kind of person who tries at things is going to take you infinitely further than any individual opportunity ever could have.

• Literally everyone you know has been rejected, at least once, in a way that really got to them.

• This is also true of everyone you don't know.

• Your self worth is not contingent on this rejection. You are just as self-worthy as before, possibly even more so, because you pulled the rare and badass move of actually going for something.

• In fact, if you are not getting rejected every now and then, you are definitely playing it too safe in life.

• Trying for something plants a seed. Putting yourself out there plants a seed. Making your plans and intentions public makes them more likely to come to fruition, often when you expect it the absolute least.

• If you hadn't tried for the thing, you would have driven yourself mad wondering whether or not it would have worked out, which is ultimately worse than a one-time rejection.

• You now have the opportunity to put this whole thing behind you and move the hell on with your life.

• You're still a sexy, charming, confident, badass motherfucker. Yes you are. This is a fact. I know because you pulled it from the 'Things That Are Probably True' pile myself.

Alright – now that you've sorted out your thoughts, it's time for everyone to slap on their nametags and discover who else is in the rejection club.

Oh wow, would you look at that – it's everyone!

No, literally. Everyone.

It's that celebrity you admire. It's that guy you had a crush on in eighth grade. It's the person you admire most on earth and– oh hey, check this out– it's the person who did your rejecting!

It turns out nobody is immune from the odd rejection. No matter how hard you try, no matter how right you play it, no matter how qualified you are for whatever it is that you're going for, you're going to get turned down now and then. That's just how things happen. That's life.

I'd say that I hope not to see you in the reject's corner again soon. But to be honest, I'd be lying to both of us.

The most successful people end up here the most often, after all.

And I have a good feeling about someone like you. TC mark

23 Mini Relationship Milestones That Are Just As Meaningful As The Big Ones

Posted: 27 May 2016 02:28 PM PDT


1. The first time one of you gives a gift to the other that you actually made or put together yourselves, rather than something you bought.

2. When you cry in front of them for the first time and you actually feel better afterwards, rather than embarrassed or awkward.

3. The first time one of you talks about an event (happening way down the road) with a carefree and comfortable certainty that you’ll still be together.

4. The first time you laugh so hard together that you actually cry.

5. The first time you text them without having to spend ten minutes overthinking what you’re going to say.

6. When you feel like your friends have actually become their friends too, and vice versa.

7. The first time you hang out with them all day and do absolutely nothing.

8. And then decide later that it was one of the best days you’ve had in a long time.

9. When you start becoming interested in what they’re interested in, simply because what matters to them matters to you.

10. The first time you spend time around their family without feeling super nervous.

11. The first time you receive a wedding invitation addressed to both of you and you get weirdly excited.

12. And you save the envelope because you can’t help yourself.

13. The moment you’re picturing something in your distant future and you realize your brain has instinctively placed them there too.

14. When the first show you bingewatch together starts to make you feel oddly sentimental, even if it’s the goriest thing ever.

15. When you become experts in making each other smile via text message, sometimes with only a couple of words.

16. The first time you realize how lovely their voice sounds to you and how much you love hearing it.

17. When their good news starts to feel like your good news too.

18. And the first time you automatically call them before you call anyone else when you have big news to share.

19. When you share your first “I’ve never told anyone this” kind of secret.

20. The moment you realize you cherish each other’s opinions and advice more than anyone else’s in your life.

21. The first time you don’t get ‘ready’ to hang out them and you still feel totally comfortable in your own skin.

22. The first time you take a nap together, and you realize that naps somehow get even better when someone you like is sleeping beside you.

23. The first time you make a choice that’s inconvenient for you, but you have no hesitation about it, because this is your person now and you wouldn’t have it any other way. TC mark

30 Questions You Need To Ask Yourself If You Still Haven’t Found The Relationship You Want

Posted: 27 May 2016 02:22 PM PDT


1. Do you think of relationships as something you earn for being “good enough” or something you develop when you’re strong enough to open your heart?

2. What does “love” mean to you? Is it just a good feeling? Is it companionship? Is it comfort? Is it direction for the future?

3. How could you possibly get those things in your life if not through the company and proclamation of undying intimacy from someone you probably don’t even know yet?

4. If the love of your life would reflect all of your unhealed issues, mirror your flaws, and bring your deepest insecurities to light, would you be ready to be in a relationship with them?

5. Do you try to relate to other human beings, or do you try to exert superiority over them? Do you want to connect or do you want to seem impressive? Do you engage in discussion to learn, or to sell someone on your way of thinking so you feel supported and “correct?”

6. Are you thinking about your love life more than you’re actually living it? Have you developed a plan to find the kind of love you think you are so desperately missing?

7. If you were to develop a plan to find that kind of love, what would it look like? What would you need to do? What could you try? Where could you go?

8. Is the prospect of online dating, being set up by friends, and generally putting yourself out there less comfortable than the idea that you could possibly spend the next few years (or longer) by yourself?

9. Are you open about the fact that you’re looking for love? If you’re trying to play it like you’re cool being single, you’re going to miss out on a lot of opportunities to meet friends of friends, simply because they don’t know you’re willing.

10. What makes you happy, aside from affection from other people?

11. If you decided to take control of your relationship destiny today, as opposed to just waiting for it to “happen” when it’s “meant” to, what would you start doing differently?

12. Do you think a great relationship is something you find, or something you develop and strengthen over time?

13. Do you believe that people who are more beautiful, successful, smart, talented or in other ways superior have more love than you ever could?

14. Have you ever taken an honest look at the people around you who have love, and evaluated them on that same scale of attractiveness and intelligence and superiority?

15. If you did that, what would you find?

16. Would it blow your mind to learn that relationships aren’t just nice, they are the stitching that keeps the patchwork of this entire damn world together, and that spending as much time and energy on them as you would anything else that matters would not only be essential, but crucial to you fulfilling your highest purpose as a human being?

17. Would it blow your mind to learn that even people who are surrounded by friends, in seemingly “happy” relationships, with families to return to every holiday and then some are sometimes still cripplingly lonely, because it’s a matter of how you connect, not who you have around?

18. Are you aware of what your needs are in a long-term relationship?

19. Are you willing to advocate for those needs if they aren’t being met, or would you forego doing so for the sake of seeming more likable to your partner?

20. If you find the relationship you’ve been dreaming of, and then it doesn’t work out, what would your game plan be?

21. Would it surprise you to know that the most overlooked key to a happy, healthy relationship is the belief that even if said relationship dissolved, you could still carry on as a functioning, thriving human being?

22. Could it be possible that you’re not alone right now because you’re broken or unlovable, but because there is something profound and divine that you must discover, and it is only knowable through solitude?

23. If you knew that the love of your life was on their way, and that this time in your life was only temporary, what would you do with the nights you have alone? What would you invest your efforts in? Writing your book or scrolling through Facebook? Developing relationships with friends or envying people who have love? Learning to meditate or taking a swig of wine every time you feel the slightest bit uncomfortable?

24. Do you assume other people are doing you a favor by giving you love and spending time with you?

25. Do you ever think about the fact that they likely are just as hungry for love?

26. Do you ever think about what you can *give* to a relationship, as opposed to what you want to take?

27. Are you committed to a lifetime of growing with, and alongside, another human being, or is your mental image of love something that allows, and supports, unconditional acceptance that is, in reality, complacency?

28. Are you willing, or ready, to let go of every preconceived notion you had about how love would come, what it would look like, and what your partner would be like? (You need to.)

29. What are you willing to suffer for in this life? You suffer over your fears, your thoughts, your work… what about the one thing that’s actually worth it? Are you willing to give it your all, fail a few times, and then reach the end (love, commitment) only to find that dating was the walk before the run, the beginning of the real work?

30. Are you ready to let it gut you and help make you the person you were intended to be? TC mark