Thought Catalog

Here Is What The Manager Of Pulse Nightclub Had To Say About The Attack

Posted: 18 Jun 2016 06:01 PM PDT


Sunday morning, the nation was rocked as news arose that Pulse Nightclub — a gay bar in Orlando — was attacked by a terrorist with multiple firearms. At the end of the day, over 50 people are dead and many more were injured.

Brian Reagan is a manager at Pulse Nightclub. Starting as just a patron, he eventually became an employee, and later still, he became the manager. In a heartfelt Facebook post, Brian talks about his experience at Pulse and his feelings about the horrendous terrorist attack:


Brian reminds us, that despite the evil in the world, the forces of good always find a way to love and take care of each other. Peace to those we’ve lost, and strength to those who endure.

This horrendous attack will not soon be forgotten. TC mark

15 College Graduates Share Their Biggest Fear About Entering ‘The Real World’

Posted: 18 Jun 2016 05:00 PM PDT



“Dating. The actual process of going out on a date terrifies me. In college, you just started hooking up with someone or hanging out. It was all very informal. I have no idea how to approach dating outside of school.”

— Laura


“I was scared of having so much free time. It sounds silly but I was SUPER involved in college and I was scared that I would lack connection and would get depressed.”

— Savannah


“Securing health insurance.”

— T


“Making new friends. In school, you have most of the people you really love and care about within walking distance. The idea of leaving that behind is really jarring.”

— Alex


“Ending up in a dead-end job that I don’t enjoy and makes me feel like my degree was a waste of time and money.”

— Stefani


“Not knowing what I’m doing with my life.”

— Tim


“Money management. Admittedly, I was very privileged in college and had a lot of help from my family with tuition and other finances. The idea of having to do it all on my own really scares me.”

— Holly


“Supporting myself with just a BA. It’s getting harder and harder to land a good job even WITH a college degree.”

— Billie


“My loans. They’re looming over me like this giant, dark cloud and it’s so bleak. But at least I’m not alone in this misery. My friends and I always make sure to cheers to our debt when we’re out to laugh off the pain a bit.”

— Jules


“Falling in love. I thought I’d meet my person in college. But I didn’t.”

— Alice


“Needing to move back in with my parents. I know it’s not something to be ashamed of, but it would still make me feel like a failure. I’m hoping to avoid it. But there’s never a guarantee.”

— Elena


“I got a job across the country, so I’m moving away right after graduation. I don’t know anyone where I’m moving so the idea of starting over and needing to make friends is pretty overwhelming.”

— Eugene


“Money. Money. Money.”

— Blake


“Not living up to my full potential. Whatever the f*ck that means.”

— Vince


“I don’t know that there’s one specific fear I have. The idea of a big change is just scary in itself. But in a good way, I think.”

— Keisha

TC mark

FYI High School Grads: The Time Of Your Life Isn’t Ending, It’s Just Beginning

Posted: 18 Jun 2016 04:00 PM PDT


I attended my younger sister's high school graduation a few weeks ago, and though it was very beautiful, there was one thing that really stuck out to me—the music selection—songs with lyrics of 'now I say goodbye,' and 'I might never see you again,' and 'the time of our lives is almost up.'

These lyrics struck me as strange, and even depressing.

I mean, first of all, why goodbye? It's not like you're dying. You are going to spend an entire three-month summer with these kids and then you'll have holiday breaks, school reunions, even friendships that will last throughout the college years.

I'll never see you again? Really?? You'll see them in, like, ten minutes at Chipotle getting a pre-game meal for the party tonight.

And The time of your lives is almost up??? What!? You're seventeen and eighteen-year-olds…and the time of your lives is almost up??! This is the best you're going to get? This is it??

As I sat there in the audience, I kept repeating to myself, No. No. NO!

I wanted to interrupt the music and hug every senior. Yes, these are some wonderful times—Homecoming dances, football games, drama, meeting your first best friends, going on dates, seeing all the scary movies at midnight, sleepovers, shopping trips, sneaking out, going to prom—but this isn't the best you're going to get.

Don't worry, you'll never forget high school. Ask any adult and their eyes will glaze over and they'll get all nostalgic for their teen years. Those years will always be a part of us.

But college years? Post-college years? Falling in love? Starting a real job? Traveling? Getting married? Moving into a real house? Having kids? Those are even more memorable.

Listen seniors: This isn't the best it's going to be.

You're going to go to college, to the workforce, to the army, to whatever the heck you're getting into and you're going to make a hell of a lot of memories.

You're going to meet people that are far more complex than the people you grew up with. You're going to join clubs and groups and music/theatre/sports teams that change the way you live your life. You're going to be challenged and encouraged. You're going to learn and grow.

You're going to fall in love and get your heart broken and become a completely new and stronger person than you ever were.

You're going to realize the importance of childhood friends and family members. You're going to laugh and cry and eat too much and think about life way too deeply.

You're going to be afraid and lonely. You're going to miss home and high school. And then you're going to learn how to fit into a new place and feel more at home than you've ever been.

You're going to make new memories and have experiences you never imagined.

You're going to one day look back on these next few years and smile, because they will be the best time of your lives.

So throw your cap in the air and hold your diploma proudly.
You've made it this far. And the best is yet to come. TC mark

34 Insane Questions You Find Yourself Asking While Living In Brooklyn

Posted: 18 Jun 2016 03:00 PM PDT

Drew Wilson
Drew Wilson

Even if you don’t hail from BK or have never even been, if you're a millennial you will most likely relate to these absurd questions you find yourself asking.

1. Hipster or homeless person?

2. What flavor of kombucha will taste the least like fermented worms with infused rose petals?

3. Will these artisanal, home-crafted condoms stand up to the test?

4. Whole wheat everything or regular everything?

5. Will I really be 'hood foreva'' like Jay-Z said?

6. Pop-up party or rooftop bar Thurs?

7. (On the subway) Is that a leather wallet or his ballsack?

8. Was that just Nigel Barker eating a fish taco?

9. How many people on my guest list are on a strictly raw food diet?

10. Will my bike lock be strong/tricky/good enough?

11. Where did all of these people come from?

12. Am I having a panic attack or am I actually just suffocating?

13. Are "Amy's Organic cheddar bunnies" actually any different than goldfish?

14. Is this an interactive art piece or someone having a nervous meltdown in a unitard?

15. Can I get herpes if I bite my nails after holding the pole on the subway?

16. Are pigeons actually getting less and less scared of humans each year?

17. Would Carrie Bradshaw eat here?

18. Am I creative enough? Am I even creative at all actually?

19. Are enough of my things "Fair Trade"?

20. Do I need a real career or can I just babysit for wealthy wall street parents?

21. What neighborhood has the least fuckboyish fuckboys?

22. Why is it that every guy who works on a construction site thinks it's okay to whistle at me? Was that included in the job description: Must build and holler?

23. Which of my friends isn't living in their parent's basement or childhood bedroom?

24. Why do I feel like I want to punch everyone in the face at all times?

25. Which vintage store sells knit crop-tops?

26. Why won't Beacon's Closet take any of my great-grandmother's cashmere sweaters?

27. Should I wear this in case I run into HONY today and he wants to take my picture?

28. Why is everyone texting while they're walking!?

29. Does recycling actually even happen here?

30. Why are you tweeting everything I'm saying right now?

31. Do vegan people have plates of bacon hidden in their drawers at work like normal people have candy?

32. What happened to the ankle portion of men's pants?

33. How can I Instagram this latte in a way that's unique?

34. Do I even deserve to live in a room bigger than my closet? TC mark

Everything I Needed To Know About ‘Players’ I Learned From Actually Playing Soccer

Posted: 18 Jun 2016 02:00 PM PDT

Leonardo Patrizi
Leonardo Patrizi

When you look back at the boy from high school, you relate him to a soccer player. He understands what it means to "play." He was the striker who did back flips after a sweet goal. The player who keeps his shoes untied throughout an entire game and is still somehow the top performer.

Soccer, known as football in many other countries, is a sport in which two teams strive to kick a ball, about the size of a human head, into a goal which is essentially metal poles in the shape of a rectangle with a net attached to the back. Everyone knows this. But there are aspects to the game that only the players know.

The average midfielder in a professional soccer game runs 7 miles, dropping the body's entire weight with each step, only to touch the ball a few dozen times per game.

Can you imagine chasing after something that you will lose over and over?

Your coach tells the team that it's impossible to dribble through 3 people, pass the ball. "Weighting the ball" means gauging how much distance is between you and the person you intend to pass to and how much force is needed to execute the pass successfully.

There are tricks around the structure of the game. You can let the ball run across your body, creating a subtle turn, or use the side-line as a defender, or convince the defender you are about to make a massive kick and then simply tap the ball. All of these things work as loopholes and escapes from the overall architecture of the game.

The end result of a game is just a cold, hard number. You either won or you didn't. You either scored or you didn't. None of your special moves, passing, teamwork is woven into the final outcome. The amount you sweat, ran and hurt doesn't matter in the end.

You cannot quantify effort or spirit so the score leaves it out.

The boy you met when you were fifteen didn't need coaching in evading defense, slipping through yours with ease. He knew how to break you down and build himself up, all the while playing his game. All he had to say was, "What would you do if I kissed you right now?" and proceed to score. He weighted his passes making sure to hit you spot on. You recall him telling you that he expected your boobs to be bigger and sensing his disappointment when you tell him it was because you had lost weight (you left out that he was the reason) and he told you it was impossible for you to have lost that much weight. He also knew his fakes, like when you sat on his lap in the cramped car, parked in the gas-station to wait out a thunderstorm and he wrapped his arms around your waist like a seatbelt and kissed you on the back of the neck. And now the game is over and you are left goalless while his score surpasses the conceivable.

And a part of you misses being played by such a wily player because the rules were never secure and chasing after something, even something that you will lose, is always better than actually having it.  TC mark

Kiss Me Like We’re Complete Strangers

Posted: 18 Jun 2016 01:00 PM PDT

Twenty20, canathy
Twenty20, canathy

Don’t get me wrong. I love how comfortably we exchange kisses when I step through the front door or when I rouse you in the middle of the night after a nightmare. I love the ease in which our tongues caress each other, and how you know exactly where to press your lips to make me moan. I love the familiarity of your body. The welcomeness. The warmth. Most of all, I love that I can look into your eyes, for only a fraction of a second, and tell whether you want to have sex or to cuddle or to be left completely alone.

But as much as I love what we’ve become, I still miss what we were. I miss the sexual tension that felt like fire between us. A fire we both wanted to reach out and touch, but wouldn’t, because we were terrified of moving too fast and extinguishing the blaze.

The next time we watch a film on the couch, I don’t want to rest my head on your lap like I usually do. I want to take a trip to the past. I want to feel the heat rise to my cheeks, because you’re sitting a little too close to me, with your arm grazing mine. And when you finally get the courage to reach over and grab my hand, I want to feel that heat travel down to my thighs. A feeling just as intense as if you were actually kissing me.

Then I want you to glance over at me and ask me a question about the movie, something that proves you haven’t been paying anymore attention to it than I have, because you’re distracted by how close we’ve become. But I want you to trail off in the middle of your sentence, just like you used to, because you got distracted looking at my lips and couldn’t stop thinking about all of the things you wanted to do to me.

I want there to be a moment of hesitation, one where we’re both ready for what’s coming, but aren’t sure who’s going to make the move. Then I want you to take one last look at my lips, flick your eyes back up with a hint of a smile, and pin your mouth against mine.

After the first kiss, a short one to test the waters, I want you to pull back, like it’s all over. Then I want you to think, “To hell with it,” and grab me again, hard. This time, it’s not chaste. This time, you’ll use your tongue. This time, you’ll use your hands. Your fingers will skate through my hair, and then travel downward until your nails are digging into my hips. After a few minutes of making out, of engulfing my heart and soul, you’ll feel comfortable enough to reach a hand under my shirt.

Pretty soon, all of our clothing will come off. You’ll kiss every body part that’s revealed, one by one, like I’m the most remarkable thing you’ve ever laid eyes on. Then you’ll murmur something about how beautiful I am and how you can’t believe you got a goddess like me in bed with you. I’ll feel like I’m floating, like you’ve breathed extra air in me.

Once we’re done trading compliments and realize we need more than kisses to fuel our lust, I want you to fuck me like you kissed me, like we’re complete strangers. But after you do, I want to slide back into the ritual we’ve created together. I want you to cuddle with me until we both fall asleep and whisper about how much you’ll always love me. I want you to wake me up with the smell of bacon and coffee, and then I want you to send me texts littered with emojis while you’re stuck at work.

After our one night of living in the past, I want us to return to the present, because I’m glad you’re no longer a stranger. I’m glad I know you inside and out, and I’m glad that I get to call you mine. I never want that to change. TC mark

This Is The Side Of Hitting Rock Bottom Nobody Likes To Talk About

Posted: 18 Jun 2016 12:00 PM PDT

Brittanie Loren Pendleton
Brittanie Loren Pendleton

This was it. Rock bottom. The feelings inside right now are telling you that you've hit it. The emptiness, the lonely, the aching, that's all part of it. And you look in the mirror and wonder who the fuck is staring back at you. Because at one point you knew that person but you don't anymore. Everything you said you would never do or be is everything you have done and become. You have become everything you once hated.

And you can see it. In every mistake. In every breath. In every moment. You have slowly crept to a place where you don't even recognize yourself anymore. And you're embarrassed. Embarrassed that you have let it get to this point. That you've let yourself get to the rock bottom your friends warned you about for months. The miniscule part of love you once felt for things is gone. You're just not sure who this person is.

To everyone else you have everything. You're smart, fun, successful and have done things many people dream of. But you're not happy. Not happy because when you look in the mirror you know the lies, the darkness and the twisted that lay beneath. You see the pain, the hurt and the anger that you don't show anyone else because that would be weak. And you're definitely good at pretending you're not weak. Even though you know you are.

You don't have control anymore.

Control of your emotions, your body, your mind. Every good feeling you once had is gone. And now what's left is the empty. The scary empty that you've heard about. You're anxious. You're cryptic.

You're good at pointing up a face. Pretending to be happy and actually being happy are two different things.

And there's no reason to not be happy. You're relatively healthy. You have things. But it always comes back to the lonely. The unfulfilling feeling of the mundane. The struggle to remember what is real and what's not. What you've been filling in your head of fantasy and what is actually happening in the real world. You've lit your path on fire and slowly you're watching everything burn around it.

This wasn't the way it was supposed to be. Rock bottom was never supposed to come. Living a lie was always supposed to just work for you. And it did. Everything works for a while. And it's easy to keep going with what you know versus confronting things that you've pushed down.

When you try to tell people they shrug it off. They tell you your strengths. They tell you you're good. They tell you everything they think you need to hear instead of actually listening to what you're saying. It's scary to say things out loud. To admit that you've hit rock bottom and aren't very sure where to start to dig yourself out. Digging yourself out is going to be hard and time consuming. The negativity at the back of your mind reminds you how worthless you are and how right now, good fucking luck seeing good in anything.

But slowly you will. You'll start to see things with color again instead of black and white. There is beauty in rock bottom, as contradictory as it sounds. The thing that sucks is that feeling you're feeling right now, the helplessness, the embarrassment, the pain isn't just something you can bottle up and spray on yourself to remind you how bad this feels.

Life is a cycle. There's bad, good and ugly but the good news is that you've gotten through it all. You've gotten through your worse days. But there are times when you don't know how you're going to get through the feelings that hold you back from fixing the broken. All I can tell you is this, you can fix you but sometimes sitting at rock bottom will show you things you need to learn in order to work through the pain.

Rock bottom can crush you if you let it. But please don't let it. TC mark

In Response To Another Argument About Being Together

Posted: 18 Jun 2016 11:30 AM PDT

Look Catalog
Look Catalog

I told him, "you know, they don't even believe in the scientific method anymore?"

I'd read that somewhere, that possibilities are infinite and testing is finite, so all the faith we put in science is just that – at some point we all want to close up our books and go home. So we call it a day.

He was rigid as I curled my body around him like a koala climbing a bamboo tree. I wasn't sure if he was waiting to see where my hands would end up, or if he liked my argument.

I couldn't understand why he was so closed. Why he was convinced of our premature doom. Why he only saw the stars as fixed points and not the sky as a whole – full of negative space that made all the things that worked so much more beautiful in the way they mustered themselves into existence.

There was a poem I liked to read to him, because he was always so sad about failing. And it reminded the reader to think about Icarus and his wax wings and when he fell it was a failure of love – it was because he first flew.

I guess that was the difference between us.

I could imagine myself failing beautifully – with the dignity of someone who has done the one and only thing we are called to do in this life: try.

But he's a man and a protector by nature. He can only see the crashing into the ocean, not the triumph. TC mark

15 Truths You Need To Remember About Shaking It Off And Dealing With Judgmental People

Posted: 18 Jun 2016 11:00 AM PDT

Hoang Bin
Hoang Bin

I’ve read a lot of really lovely books lately about how to let go of negativity and how to live your life in the lightest way possible. Two of my particular favorites (worth multiple reads) are Daring Greatly by BrenĂ© Brown and A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. They got me thinking a lot about judgment, self esteem, and insecurity – and the best way to combat the uncomfortable feelings that come along for the ride. So here are 15 truths about dealing with judgment and criticism that will hopefully help you get to a better place simply by altering your mindset.

1. Someone else’s opinion of your story doesn’t matter. What matters is that you remember that the only person who will live your life is you. So live it however you want.

2. They are probably cutting into you because of some deep-seated anxiety within themselves. It is much easier for us to project our self-hatred onto others than it is to accept that there is something about ourselves that we really don’t like.

3. We’ve all been judged before, but we’ve all also been the judgmental person before, too (probably multiple times). Think about where you were in your life when you were the judgmental person – about how it almost never had anything to do with the person you were judging and almost always had everything to do with you.

4. “Not caring what others think” is an admirable quality to have, but it’s pretty damn difficult to maintain in my opinion. Sometimes your energy is better spent accepting that judgment hurts, allowing yourself to feel the sting, and then using that spark to move on and go after what you want with an even stronger force than before.

5. It feels good to look at someone who’s judging you and paint them as a cold, heartless, unlovable villain. But what will truly help you heal is remembering that there are so many more good people in the world than there are bad, and that most of the time, someone who’s judging you is just a regular, good human being trying to fight their own demons.

6. There is definitely a difference between unnecessary judgment and constructive criticism. Sometimes, all someone is trying to do is help you to become a better version of yourself. We’re typically wired to lash out at either one of these situations, but if you quiet your brain enough, you’ll find that your gut knows the difference. If someone is telling you something that you need to hear, listen.

7. Making someone else hurt will not make your pain go away, or even lessen it. It’s just creating more negativity out of thin air.

8. Toxicity is contagious. You will always be happier just letting it go, accepting that you can’t control what other people think of you, and spending your time on people who make your world lighter, not heavier.

9. Sometimes, an unnecessarily critical comment or a cold attitude comes from someone who’s just having a bad day. Other times, it really does come from someone who lives for putting others down. If the latter is the case, remember this quote from Tina Fey: “Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions; go over, under, through, and opinions will change organically when you’re the boss. Or they won’t. Who cares? Do your thing, and don’t care if they like it.”

10. Or this Tina gem: “When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: ‘Is this person in between me and what I want to do?’ If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you're in charge, don't hire the people who were jerky to you.”

11. People who are negative and super judgmental all the time, simply because they want to be, are making far more enemies than you could ever imagine. Although their words or actions may hurt, at the end of the day you’ll get over it, but they’ll still be who they are. It’s best to just take a breath and leave them behind.

12. Compassion is the most powerful in the moments when you really, really don’t want to use it. Remember that. Sometimes it truly is strong enough to extinguish a negative flame.

13. Thoughts like I’m better than them or They’re just taking it out on me because they suck at x usually do more harm than good. Because in their own way, these thoughts still contain traces of negativity. It’s better to just not let that person seep into the equation at all. Their sentiments may wound you for a bit, but it will be way easier for you to move on with your life and keep chasing magnificent things when you think of that person as a complete non-factor in your existence.

14. Even the most successful, confident, and well-liked people in the world get criticized. If you let any of this stop you now, you’ll never get very far.

15. We’re human, so judgment will always sting. But it’s pretty hard to put much focus on it when you’re already too busy living. TC mark

30 Simple Things You Can Do Today That Will Make Your Life Better Tomorrow

Posted: 18 Jun 2016 10:30 AM PDT

Sarah Loven
Sarah Loven

Everyone feels low at some point, and it can be tempting to wallow in those sad feelings. Sometimes we just can't help putting ourselves down. However, that can make the feelings worse, and it can make problems seem bigger than they actually are.

Thankfully, you can easily turn those negative feelings around by doing a few simple things. Although it may be difficult to think about doing something positive, you have the power to do so. Your mind is a powerful tool, and you rule your mind – it isn't the other way around.

Don't beat yourself up; here are 30 ways to feel better about yourself today.

1. Apologize to anyone who you think you have hurt.

2. Stop the negative talk in your head – or at least acknowledge that it is your insecurities talking and not you.

3. Go play with your pet, or watch a funny animal video on Youtube. A penguin falling over will make you feel better, even if it's only for a second.

4. Change one thing about your life that you don't like.

5. Relive one of your favorite memories. Think about how happy and relaxed you felt, and remember that you will feel this way again if you want to.

6. Don't carry the weight of the world on your shoulders; let someone else help you with a tough decision.

7. Find something you can give to a friend, like a CD or DVD that you know they'd like.

8. Treat yourself to something that you love. Whether it is a new dress, a new game or an avocado, if you love it, it will make you happy.

9. Call your best friend and tell them that you are feeling down. Talk about it for a while if you want – but then ask your friend to tell a funny joke or story to put a smile on your face.

10. Go to your local park and spend some time on the swings.

11. If you feel really low, cry it out. Put on a sad song and really let yourself go – you will feel better afterwards.

12. Reflect on some of the awesome things you've achieved in your lifetime.

13. Do 50 jumping jacks.

14. Look in a mirror (or your phone camera) and smile at yourself for a few seconds. Breathe in and out, and take a few seconds to look at your favorite facial feature.

15. Forgive yourself. For everything. Every single person on the earth makes mistakes.

16. Adjust your expectations.

17. Buy flowers for someone you love. They will be so happy – especially since there was no reason for it besides genuine love.

18. Cook your favorite dessert.

19. Put yourself first.

20. Put your friends and family at a close second.

21. Start a new hobby that you've always liked the idea of, such as playing the guitar or painting.

22. Do something nice for a stranger, such as giving them your bus pass.

23. Find a mentor who you look up to.

24. Be a mentor for someone who looks up to you.

25. Clean your room/house/desk. If you're looking at something that is untidy, it won't improve your mood – it will just make you feel worse. A clean space will help you to clear your mind.

26. Throw your head back and walk like you're on the catwalk. You'll feel pretty damn fabulous after half an hour!

27. Cook a meal you've never made before – you will be able to find a recipe online!

28. Praise someone in your family.

29. Call your parents for a catch up.

30. Accept your negative emotions. Everyone feels insecure and jealous sometimes, and these emotions will never go away – but they don't have to rule you, and they shouldn't. TC mark