Thought Catalog

20 Men On How They Really Feel About Your Finger In Their Butt

Posted: 01 Jun 2016 08:00 PM PDT

Ed Gregory
Ed Gregory

1. "No, just no." –Kevin, 22

2. "Never ever. Not even if someone paid me." –Andrew, 26

3. "How do they feel about a broken finger?" –Mark, 24

4. "I've never done it, but I'd like to try. I think it would be interested to see what it feel like, but I'd never ask someone to finger my ass." –Bill, 29

5. "I asked my ex girlfriend to do it and she did. It surprisingly felt good." –Blake, 24

6. "Hell. No." –Doug, 23

7. "I made a bet with my wife if she let me try anal she could try sticking her finger up my ass. Turns out we both like butt stuff." –Evan, 33

8. "I guess I'd be open to it. Trying new things in the bedroom is always good." –Devin, 29

9. "Never happened to me, but you have to try everything once!" –Jared, 25

10. "A finger up the ass is really nice when she's giving me a blow job it makes it more enjoyable and feels great." –Joe, 30

11. "My ex used to do it all the time and it was great. I miss her for that." –Richard, 21

12. "I was hooking up with this one girl and she tried to shove her finger in my ass when she was giving me a blowjob, I swatted her hand away. Then she tired to again and I pulled my pants up and left. It was not worth it." –Collin, 24

13. "Fuck no. I'd rather die of prostate cancer than let that happen." –Tim, 22

14. "No chance, I would slap the shit out of her." –Will, 20

15. "This girl I was hooking up with did it, I was kind of surprised at first but I let her keep going. It actually felt incredible, it was such a good prostate massage." –Ricky, 32

16. "If you want some real pleasure, try the tongue. That's where it's at." –Oliver, 28

17. "My girlfriend puts one finger in at a time while she's giving me head and it feels so good I wish I could explain the pleasure. It gets me off so fast." –Gabe, 25

18. "I love it, the pleasure just builds and builds and there's no way to hold back." –Huck, 34

19. "It's definitely an added bonus if someone wants to play with your ass. It's fun and a change. The prostate is a magical thing." –Jeff, 23

20. "You just can't think of it as homophobic because it's a great feeling and it's just another part of sex." –Alan, 27 TC mark

What You Usually Like To Talk About On A First Date, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Posted: 01 Jun 2016 06:00 PM PDT


Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Their work. They love talking about their work and their accomplishments. They are usually successful leaders with great careers and great achievements. They're ambitious, so talking about their ambitions comes naturally to them.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Their routine. Taurus are known for their stability and their fixed agenda. They are reliable, focused and deliberate and they like to have a set schedule for their day and their week, since they're very proud of their organizational skills, they love talking about their day to day activities and how they manage their time.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Their friends. Geminis are the social butterflies of the zodiac. They are probably the most sociable and friendliest of all zodiac signs and they have a lot of friends everywhere and they're constantly surrounded by people, so it's not a surprise that they will always talk about their friends and the fun things they do together. Their friends are a very important part of their lives and they will always bring them up in conversations.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Their emotions. They are too emotional, sentimental and sensitive and they are usually very open about their feelings. They will always tell you moving stories or heart breaking stories and how these stories made them feel or changed their lives. They will definitely open up your heart and will make you a little bit softer.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Their awesomeness. Leos love themselves too much, they know how great they are and they're not afraid to show it off. Leos will never get tired of talking about themselves or how amazing they are and how exciting their lives are. They are very adventurous and they have a lot of exhilarating stories that will you make want a second and a third date.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

They will listen. Virgos are private, perceptive and analytical. They like to let people talk while they analyze them and figure them out. They're not very talkative with people they don't know that well so they prefer to ask questions and listen to read people first before they decide to let them in.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Politics. Libras are diplomatic and intellectual and they know how to carry on an intense conversation with ease so don't be surprised if they talk to you about politics, religion or anything that people usually try to avoid talking about because they know how to keep even the controversial topics balanced.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Their past lovers. Scorpios are attractive and magnetic and they have plenty of admirers and lovers and ex-lovers trying to win them back. They dated a lot of people from all over the world so their stories will always include something with another partner involved. They're never single so you have to live with the fact that an ex will always be part of the conversation.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Their travels. Sagittarians are energetic, adventurous and love exploring the world. They love traveling and hiking and discovering new places, so they will always talk to you about their latest trip, their favorite city, the time they went bungee jumping and the time they went skydiving and they will show all the pictures on their phone.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Their family. Capricorns are very family oriented and extremely loyal and their family plays a big part in their lives. They will always be talking about their parents, their cousins, their nieces and nephews and how they take care of their family. They are very devoted to their family and it will definitely come up on the first date and all other dates.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Changing the world. Aquarians are the dreamers and the humanitarians of the zodiac. They truly want to make the world a better place and they want to help as many people as possible. They love talking about ideas, theories and philosophies and how people could lead better lives. They love talking to everyone about their visions to see if they can get inspired or find a connection that will help them make their dreams come true.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Their talents. Pisces are creative and innovative and they usually have an artistic hobby or a talent and they're very passionate about. They will talk about their art, their music, the creative classes or courses they want to take and their latest work of art. They appreciate art and they will always ask you about your favorite authors, artists, actors and singers. TC mark

12 Moments When You Really Wish Your Long Distance Best Friend Was With You

Posted: 01 Jun 2016 05:00 PM PDT


1. When you want to cry but no one understands you. You need your best friend the most when you're down, you need her to comfort you because she is the only one who could and you know that just a warm hug from her will make the pain go away.

2. When you're nervous about a date. You wish she was there to give you the confidence boost you need, to tell you that you're awesome and you've got nothing to worry about and pour you a glass of wine so you can release some of the tension.

3. When you're going to a concert. You want her there with you because you know that the two of you will be singing out loud, dancing, taking pictures and probably pissing off everyone around you because you two are being loud and obnoxious. No matter who you're with, it's still not as fun as having her with you in these unforgettable moments.

4. When you feel all alone. You need her to be your person and your plus one. You wish she was there to come with you to this event or this birthday or this party because you know that wherever you two go, you will have a blast.

5. When you want to have a girls night it. You miss your slumber parties with her, you wish she was with you so you can cook, drink, watch movies, remember the good old times and laugh all night.

6. When no one else gets your quirky sense of your humor. You miss how she would pick up on your looks or inside jokes, how she knows when you're being sarcastic and when you're lying to strangers, you just miss your bond with her that makes even the simple moments memorable.

7. When you need someone to stand up for you. You miss how your best friend would just have your back and attack whoever offends you, you miss how she made sure no one hurts you and always took your side. You now know that no one else will ever fight for you the way she did.

8. When you have an emergency. Whatever it may be; family or personal. You miss her comfort, you wish you could just lean on her or crash at her place and deal with the mess later. You miss your real emergency contact.

9. When you're driving and your favorite song comes on. You wish you two could be together singing that song and dancing in the car. You miss how she made traffic fun and you never had to worry about it because you knew you had the best company with you.

10. When work is overwhelming. You need her to take you out so you can talk about it and she will tell you that it will be okay and help you get through it. You need her wisdom and her strength to motivate you and make you believe in yourself again.

11. When you're shopping. You wish she was with you to tell you which dress to buy, which shoes would go better and which color looks better on you. You knew she always picked better things for you than you picked for yourself and you miss sharing clothes with her because you literally have the same taste.

12. When no one else compares. Pretty much, all the time. No matter how many amazing people you meet or hang out with, no one will ever compare to your best friend and you will always miss having her with you; sharing secrets, stories and silly jokes. You miss the special connection you had, how you two are completely comfortable around each other and how everything is just so effortless with her. Nothing is ever the same without her. TC mark

Why Heartbreak Is The Best Thing That Could Ever Happen To You (Really)

Posted: 01 Jun 2016 04:00 PM PDT


Heartbreak. It's an inevitable part of our lives that we can't seem to run away from. It stings you, it shakes your whole being, and it leaves you reaching for anything that you can hold on to. It is a coming of age marker in your life that can either leave you broken or reborn.

When I turned twenty, the whole life that I thought I had was shattered by the one person I thought would always keep me afloat. I had never known what a broken heart felt like until that day and no amount of advice could prepare me for that experience. My life that I had known for three years vanished with just a few words exchanged. You think that you know someone inside and out, until one day they are just a ghost that lives inside your heart and won't get out.

Life had thrown me a hell of a curveball and for a while, I let it slowly burn me from my toes to my fingertips.

I'm not going to lie. Being broken hearted was not easy. In fact, it was disgustingly hard. Harder than anything I have ever experienced. And I could have chosen to let it run me over. I could have let the embers turn red and I could have destroyed the rest of me that wasn't touched by him. I wasn't used to taking care of myself. I wasn't used to being forced to eat, forced to get out of bed, and forced to live.

But I lived and I keep living. The thing about being broken hearted is that when you're in that state of mind, you think it's going to last forever. And you think you won't be able to save yourself because you don't care enough. But with each day that ticked by, with each month that passed by, my cells were reborn. My skin was refreshed. My eyes turned brighter. My tears slowed down.

And my lips began to be ok without kissing the boy I loved.

It's three years later and I'm still hurting. I'm still healing. While the rest of body has begun anew, a tiny piece of my heart will always be cracked. You are always going to have a tiny bullet hole in it that won't ever get back to what it used to be. But, I chose to begin again. I chose not to let an organ in my body take me down. I chose to grow, to multiply and to let the light shine through the crack in my heart.

And guess what? I'm happier now than I was when I was with him. I am my own person now and I don't let another human being define me. I know how to take care of myself now and I know how to love myself. If you have someone else loving you for so long, you slowly forget who your authentic self is. Heartbreak woke me up to myself. And it woke up me up to adore myself instead of adoring someone else.

Sure, the journey to get here was long and slow, but I can finally say that heartbreak was the best thing that ever happened to me (really). TC mark

How Much Of A Functional Hot Mess Are You Really?

Posted: 01 Jun 2016 03:17 PM PDT

There Is No Such Thing As Mr. Right (Thank Goodness!)

Posted: 01 Jun 2016 03:00 PM PDT

Nicki Varkevisser
Nicki Varkevisser

We spend so much time and energy searching. Looking for this man who will somehow be everything we've hoped for, who will slide seamlessly into the complicated puzzle of our lives, who will be the perfect, flawless, dream-guy we've been unconsciously wishing for since we were little girls.

It's beautiful, isn't it?

To imagine a soul somewhere in the world, wandering around, looking for us? To think that one day we'll have a fairytale encounter in a coffee shop, at a street corner, in the seat of an airplane and somehow spark a love so big and beautiful it was meant to be all along?

I think we all wish for that, even though we know it's pretty unrealistic.

I asked a guy friend his perspective on love once. And he said something along the lines of, "love is all around us," implying that love isn't something you search for, but something you find.

It was beautiful, but that wasn't quite what I was thinking. When he asked me when I thought I'd fall in love again, I gave him an imagined, romantic story of bumping into my future love on the street. Something about making eye contact and exchanging numbers and the thoughts of one another burning holes in the back of our minds until we saw each other again. An unexplainable connection. The man I'd been searching for suddenly becoming a reality.

My friend thought I was crazy.
And he might be right.

As much as we try to imagine this ideal scenario, ideal guy, ideal relationship, there really isn't.

There isn't a perfect love, perfect man because love is imperfect. Because love is flawed and complicated and thank God for that. Because we're human.

There isn't a perfect guy. But this is a good thing. Because our lives are built on imperfections. It is our flaws and quirks that make us unique, that define who we are, that shape the decisions we make and the life we create for ourselves.

Thank goodness there's no Mr. Right. Because we're not Miss Rights ourselves.

We have our own baggage, our own disappointments, our own struggles. And even if we aren't dragging them behind us, they still have defined who we've become.

We all come from different places. Imperfect places.

And we can't expect to find a shiny, wonderful Ken-doll type of guy when we aren't plastic, unrealistically-shaped-and-contoured Barbies.

And who would want to be that anyways?

Who would want the type of significant other, the type of relationship that was so ideal it could fit into a little box and be put on a shelf with thousands of others? Booorrrrringggg.

So there's no Mr. Right. Who cares?

When it comes to love, I want real.

I want a guy who isn't always going to follow the rules because I'm not the type to color in the lines of love. I want a guy who isn't afraid to mess up, to be silly, to make mistakes and love me a little too much.

I want a guy who isn't the one I've dreamed about, but the real, complicated, beautiful man who's even better.

And I want to be the girl, the imperfect girl that matches that crazy kind of love in our own kind of fairytale, or own happily ever after.

One that's messy. One that's real. TC mark

47 Inspiring Messages That Will Remind You What Really Matters

Posted: 01 Jun 2016 02:00 PM PDT


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This Is How You Live A Beautiful Life

Posted: 01 Jun 2016 01:24 PM PDT


First, wake up and think of something positive. Make it your first thought. Make it a prayer. Make it a thank you. Make it a word or phrase or simply a long, contented sigh. But whatever it is, start your day with a smile.

Then make a plan. This doesn't have to be a step-by-step of every single thing you will do today; this doesn't have to be long-term or even in depth. Just think of three things you want to accomplish—big or small—and write them in your memory. Or even better, write them down. Then sketch out a simple plan for the day. Include a mid-morning walk, a lunch break, time for socializing, and at least an hour to workout. This will guide your day, and give you purpose.

Get ready, eat a good breakfast and head to work. When you get to wherever you're headed, or as you interact with people on the way, notice their presence. You can live a beautiful life if you take the time to acknowledge others. This can be as simple as offering a 'hello,' asking a thoughtful question, or even just smiling. But it shows people that you care about them and that their existence means something to you.

Then work with intention. Whether you love your job or absolutely despise it, you will live a better life if you do each task with diligence and effort. When you invest your focus and your heart into something, then it has purpose, even if you aren't particularly enjoying the process. Instead of choosing to drag your feet through each day, be purposeful and committed to being the best you can be.

As you continue through your day, you will face negativity, opposition, and frustration. This will happen, inevitably, but the key to living a beautiful life is to remember to breathe and exhale the negativity. When you are feeling caught up in drama, when you're in over your head with assignments, when you're stressed or down in the dumps, take a deep breath. In. Out. Then let the anxieties, the fears, the anger, and the sadness out with that long exhale.

When your thoughts turn to yourself—your wants, your needs, your emotions, you, you, you—take a minute to change your thinking. The only things you can control are your own thoughts and actions, but this can lead to overthinking, which can be crippling in its own way. Instead of dwelling in self-obsessed thought, think how you can bless the lives of others. How can you make someone else happy? Make someone else laugh? Turn someone's day around for the better? When you center your thoughts on another person, it lifts the burden off yourself and helps you see the world from a different lens.

About mid-day, (and every so often after that) it is necessary to refocus and repurpose. This means that you actively take a minute to change your physical location in order to change your mindset or emotions. This can be getting up and going for a walk, standing vs. sitting, or just taking a short brain-break. This helps you to return to whatever you were doing refreshed.

Keep yourself forward-thinking. The future can be terrifying, but it can also be incredibly motivating. When you are feeling nervous or down, lost or stuck, take a second to think of the future. What is something you're looking forward to? Focus on that. Play that potential scenario out in your head. Imagine how it will feel, how much fun you will have. When you look to the future, it keeps you determined and encouraged in the present.

At some point in every day, do something for yourself, just because. This can be little, like treating yourself to a mango-pineapple smoothie, or it can be something big, like investing in a vacation. This is not selfish; it's essential. You need to take a moment to appreciate and love yourself. Then you can continue with your day.

To live a beautiful life, you must also think of ways you can better yourself and the lives of those around you. Think healthy eating, exercising, and positive talk. These will enrich your life and make you better, physically and emotionally. But also think of others. What kinds of conversations can you start or engage in? Can you bring in positive words and actions, and eliminate gossip? Can you focus on compliments, laughter, and encouragement? Can you motivate others to make healthier choices alongside you?

You must also indulge in the simple things, like a good meal or time shared with loved ones. Like curling up on the couch with a blanket, or kissing your pet. These are often overlooked, but if you appreciate all these small things, you will live more beautifully.

And finally, end each day with positivity and thankfulness. Just as you began with a positive thought, end with the same. Look back on the high moments of the day, the blessings, and the things to be happy about. Be thankful for these. And then fall asleep with a smile on your face. TC mark

This Post Brought To You By Taco Bell.

How Someone Could Win An Argument Against You, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Posted: 01 Jun 2016 01:00 PM PDT



(March 21st to April 19th)

Outsmart them. Provide information that they could not possibly dispute. This will be especially effective after they’ve already gotten themselves worked up and are all but convinced they are completely correct. Aries will never admit that they’re wrong, but they’ll crumble inside once they realize they are.


(April 20th to May 21st)

Distract them with something aesthetically appealing. Take them out for a beautiful date or turn on some music and open a glass of wine, they’ll be so taken with the atmosphere they’ll be a lot less defensive (and kind of not even concerned) with whatever was going on before.


(May 22nd to June 21st)

Dismiss their emotions, act like you don’t care. The minute a Gemini thinks that an issue is going to go unacknowledged (or worse, that you’ve stopped caring about your issues altogether) they’re going to do whatever it takes to get you to open up and engage with them again (which is right about where they’d resort to excessive apologizing, if that’s what it would take).


(June 22nd to July 22nd)

Be super sensitive, but be honest. Make your point, but do not use any unnecessarily mean or threatening language. Doing so will not actually help you win the argument, it will only make a Cancer have a total meltdown, and then you’ll have an even bigger problem on your hands.


(July 23rd to August 22nd)

Play the fool. The only way a Leo will step down from an argument in which their identity (or sense of self) is even mildly threatened is by pitying you a little. Once the Leo thinks the argument is sort of beneath them, they’ll be more open to talking about it reasonably.


(August 23rd to September 22nd)

Bring up concern for their overall well-being. A Virgo will easily begin to overthink their health, well-being, or really anything that could possibly go wrong, so arguing that you need to work it out for the sake of your wellness will simmer them down quickly. (Also, make your argument calmly and with well-informed reasoning that doesn’t completely cut them off from their wants and needs.)


(September 23rd to October 22nd)

Be fair, but be ready to go to war. Libras do not involve themselves in arguments they don’t think they can win, but more importantly, they do not involve themselves in arguments that are’t worthwhile. If a Libra is fighting you, it’s because they really care, and if they feel they’ve been unfairly treated, they’re not going to let down easy. They will find every last which way to twist and turn their argument to be valid, because in their eyes, the only thing more justifiable than reality is what they feel.


(October 23rd to November 22nd)

Just let it go. There’s no real merit in winning an argument with a Scorpio. They’ll never stop bringing it up, and/or they’ll just let it fester in the back of their minds until one day you just randomly never see them again.


(November 23rd to December 21st)

Tell a joke, lighten things up, use an analogy that would make sense to them. The best way to make a Sag understand where you’re coming from is to frame it the way they’d think of it. Don’t be surprised if your feelings get a little bruised in the meantime – Sags are notorious for not being great down-board thinkers (and are too whimsical in their “joke telling” to know when they’ve crossed a line.)


(December 22nd to January 20th)

Make them feel like there’s some kind of benefit to agreeing with you. If you convince a Capricorn that to be on your side is to ensure their life, love and happiness, they’ll defend you to the end. Alternatively: end the conversation so you can both cool down, and then let them come back and either apologize or offer a more grounded perspective. Capricorns get too heated and stop thinking clearly.


(January 21st to February 18th)

Come up with a more enlightened perspective. The only way an Aquarius will admit defeat is if they can acknowledge that your point is somehow more intelligent or informed or trailblazing than their own (Aquarius’ are likely responsible for 98% of the “hot take” think pieces on the Internet).


(February 19th to March 20th)

Don’t insult their sense of self, because as soon as you do, they’ll shut down. If you want to win an argument, approach the conversation as though you’re just super interested in getting their opinion on whatever the issue is. They’ll pretty much agree with you from there-on-out. (They’d usually rather let you win than fight about it anyway.) TC mark

Despite Everything, I Still Love You

Posted: 01 Jun 2016 12:00 PM PDT

I fell in love with you like a fool. Like the effervescent, naive fool that I am.

And I did not care to believe in the truth; that I wasn’t good enough to be loved just the same.

That’s the problem when you think with your heart.

She blindsides you and the truth is never seen coming. Maybe we weren’t worth the effort. Maybe I wasn't worth the fight, but you were to me. At least my aching heart had the courage to fight.

I never wanted to see our quiet moments in the morning come to an end. The spring sun pouring in through the windows, illuminating your warm, honey lips.

You would kiss me gently and pull me in close. The perfect way to begin each day.

Or when our hearts laid underneath the pale moon at night, intertwined in bed sheets and for the first time in our lives, we understood what love felt like.

For all the joyous memories and laughter brought our way, it saddens me to think that maybe if I just loved a little less, and you a little more, we would still be together today.

But maybe our love was destined to end. Maybe you’re meant to be this stranger with all my secrets.

I remember constantly worrying that you’d end up leaving me and that everything we shared would become nothing but a distant memory. I remember the day all of that came true.

The sun never looked more dull.

Nights never felt longer.

I hated sleeping and waking up because both were living nightmares.
There I laid, in an empty bed with an empty heart, and the only person I wanted to talk to about this pain was you. I wanted you to hold me tight, look into my eyes, and tell me that everything was going to be alright. Only you. But that wasn’t going to happen, no matter how much I hoped.

I often wondered if you felt the same.

This is the text I never sent, the letter I never wrote, just the thoughts that have crossed my mind every day since we last spoke.

Despite everything, I still care for you.

And maybe that is a fault in me that is unchangeable, but I can’t help myself. You put me through hell and I called it true love. You think I would have learned by now, but I am still in love with you…like a damn fool. TC mark