Thought Catalog


10 Excuses Guys Always Make When They Cum Too Quickly

Posted: 22 Jun 2016 08:00 PM PDT

mespilman
mespilman

Lets face it; sex can turn from hot and steamy to uncomfortably awkward in a matter of minutes, or seconds. Premature ejaculation is a real thing and if I had to make an educated guess, I'd say most women have been with a man that has came very quickly at one time or another.

It's a dreaded feeling we all know too well, from personal experiences to stories we've heard from our friends. Either way, it can be extremely uncomfortable for both of you.

You can't really tell him it's okay because that is emasculating and you don't want to make him feel any worse than he already does. So, we do what we all do best and we just don't talk about it. Shattering his self-confidence was not something on your to-do list for the day.

Even though the reality of it is that it isn't really that big of a deal. It happens and women are aware of it, but that doesn't stop the excuses that come out of guy's mouths afterwards.

Whether it was your first time hooking up with someone or you're at the start of your relationship it doesn't matter because it can happen just as much to a couple who has been dating a while. Premature ejaculation isn't necessarily a bad thing, but men might always see it as so.

beetlejuice

1. Good thing that was just practice.

"I've had a guy say to me that he was just practicing, or warming up. He came I'd say about 30 seconds after we started having sex. It wasn't a huge deal, but it was actually rather uncomfortable for the both of us because we just started hooking up. We went at it again though and round two was much more enjoyable." — Hayley, 24

2. That's never happened before.

"He told me that's never happened before. I'm definitely don’t believe him though because we just kind of stopped and cuddled with the bed soaking wet. It was gross, but then we showered in the morning together and the same thing happened. So uncomfortable." — Sarah, 26

3. That's embarrassing.

“He kind of just looked at me and told me he was embarrassed that it happened, I told him it was fine, but that definitely didn’t help his self-esteem.” — Bridgette, 28

4. Well, I suck.

“It happened a few times with my ex, but every time he would just say he sucked. We were dating, so it shouldn’t have been awkward, but it was because he would blame himself. We’d just get up and put our clothes on after and never talked about it.” — Mackenzie, 23

5. Ready for round two?

"I know it happens, it's happened to a couple of the guys I've been with, but the most memorable one was when the guy came and then looked at me and told me to get ready to go for round two. He didn't act embarrassed, it happened and he just took control by keeping things intense and hot." — Beth, 30

6. Just keep going.

"I was dating this guy and he would cum rather quickly depending on how intense our foreplay was. If he came after the first couple minutes he'd just pull the condom off and go back at it. He wouldn't stop or be uncomfortable about it, he just kept going." — Brit, 27

7. It's a medical thing.

"I dated a guy where it was an actual medical thing. He was CLEARLY insecure about it even though it didn't bother me as much as the fact he wouldn't talk about it. But I will say – he made up for it by going down on me for actual days." — Jane, 27

8. It’s your turn. 

"I used to hook up this guy a lot and he would alway cum in foreplay so he could last a lot longer when we were having sex. It was actually a brilliant plan, especially because he would go down on me and take care of me while he was getting hard again. Our sex was amazing.” — Jen, 24

9. She was just too good.

“I was actually told I was too good that he couldn't help himself but cum fast. I just took it as a compliment and didn’t let it bother him or me. We kept hooking up and hanging out, now we're dating and he's really built up his stamina now. Sometimes a little practice and communication is all it takes." — Kyla, 26

10. It's been a while.

“The most classic excuse in the book, I’ve heard several guys I hooked up with use that line. While it’s fine and they probably are being honest, it’s still some what humorous now to me. But it’s always nice to know you’re hooking up with someone who didn’t just fuck another girl right before you.” — Rylie, 27 TC mark

20 People Reveal Their ‘Micro Turn-Ons’: The Strange Little Things They Find Hot

Posted: 22 Jun 2016 07:00 PM PDT

anniejanssen
anniejanssen

There are obvious turn-ons like a hot girl in a bikini or Ryan Gosling shirtless but then there are also the littler things that we notice and admire. My friend Maggie brought this unexplored world of the human psyche to my attention this year while we discussed love and relationships. We asked our friends at dinner and the tiny things they surprisingly found enticing came pouring out.

1. "When girls wear clogs. Drives me crazy." – Brett, 21


2. “When guys scratch the back of their neck and scruff up their hair a little.” – Emma, 23


3. “When a guy has a bracelet tan. So weirdly hot.” – Amy, 20


4. "A girl who reaches for a check on a date turns me on." – Mark, 23


5. "Guys who say your name throughout conversation in subtle ways." – Maya, 25


6. "A guy that can drive without needing to use google maps or any form of navigation. I don't know why it is but that's so sexy to me." – Joanna, 24


7. "Women in button-down shirts. Hands down." – Sebastian, 25


8. "When a guy lays back on his bed with his hands crossed behind his head." – Margaret, 22


9. "A boy who shakes peoples hands when meeting new people." – Sharon, 23


10. "When a guy says something dorky or off in a big group of people but looks at you for confirmation because they are comfortable with you." – Tanya, 22


11. "When a girl whispers in my ear at a table full of people." – Ryan, 26


12. "Old Spice Danali/ The palm tree deodorant. Get's me every time." – Bella, 24


13. "Boys in white shirts. Is there any girl in the world who doesn't swoon over them?" – Jenna, 21


14. "When a guy's underwear (specifically boxer briefs) are coming out of his shorts slightly." – Sammy, 22


15. "A discrete, cute smile from a girl kills me." – Harry, 23


16. "When a girl who wears glasses looks above the glasses when looking at something up-close" – Ray, 24


17. “Big hands.” – Amelia, 28


18. “The face a guy makes when he’s concentrating because you know it will be the same face they make when they’re concentrated on you during sex.” – Taylor, 20


19. “A man who says ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ to a waiter or a cashier is sexy to me.” – Chantal, 26


20. “When a girl playfully runs away from me.” – Diego, 23 TC mark

Why Cowards Can’t Give You Closure

Posted: 22 Jun 2016 06:00 PM PDT

Wendy Liu -  www.instagram.com/wendylilo/
Wendy Liu –
www.instagram.com/wendylilo/

"Sometimes thing just don't work out."

Ah. The most typical explanation for any given break up.

Standing in the middle of his bedroom with your toothbrush and spare contact lens case in hand, your mind begins to spin with a thousand questions, the most burning of them being, why?

You leave his building in a fit of frustration. You can barely wrap your mind around what just happened. A few days later, despite your better judgment, you demand to meet up and begin to beg for answers. You think that if you can get to the root of the problem, you'll be able to fix things.

Well, you thought wrong.

The boy who just left you is a coward. He is nothing close to a man. He chose to walk away without having the decency to make sense of his own feelings and explain them to you. Instead, he chose to leave. He can't give you an explanation because he doesn't have one. He's afraid to search for answers, because when he finally finds them, he'll realize that it was his fault all along.

You blame yourself as you try to fill in the missing pieces of your split. You think back to all the bad things: the fights, the slip ups, the everyday irritations. You become a prisoner of your own mind as you retrace steps and calculate mishaps until you finally pinpoint the exact moment when things stopped "working out." You wholeheartedly convince yourself that it was you who unknowingly pushed the relationship past its breaking point.

He will let you go on like this, driven mad by his dastardly silence as he frees himself of a guilty conscience and any trace of imperfection. He will mask his cowardice in seemingly sweet reassurances, telling you that you are "stronger than this," and that it's "time to move on." He will ask you to move along, because he cannot be bothered with dealing with the standard protocol of how to leave a meaningful relationship like an adult.

No matter how deeply he said he loved you when you were together, the truth of the matter is that he does not respect you, and he never did. A half decent man would not let someone he once cared about walk around with a heavy heart and a troubled mind. A man who truly valued you would make sure that you understood everything there is to be understood before turning his back on you for the very last time.

So do yourself a favor, and be your own closure. Know that he was right: you are strong enough to walk away from the pain that he caused you. Refuse to let his cowardice weigh you down by holding your head up high and letting go of the blame that has burdened you for far too long.

Believe that one day, you will find someone who respects you. And he'll be there to stand by you as your search for the answers to the better questions of life, together. TC mark

I Was Not Made To Love Quietly

Posted: 22 Jun 2016 05:24 PM PDT

londonaway97
londonaway97

I was not made to love quietly. I have never known how to do it. I shout my emotions without thinking twice. I unzip myself for the entire world to see.

As a little girl, I made a habit of standing in my backyard when the sun was just beginning to set and belting show tunes. I’d tell the moon about my crush, how beautiful his eyes were, how his handwriting was the best in class. I feel like I should apologize to my neighbors. That maybe I should track them down and say, “Listen, I’m sorry for all those off-key renditions of Chicago you had to endure. You’re real troopers.”

My heart has always been an open book that I’ve never learned how to shut. Is that beautiful? Is that something to fear? My softness, so unwilling to be anything other than soft, soft, soft.

There’s a nervousness blurting out every eager thought I have. I bite my lip, but it never seems to do much. It spills out when I’m not expecting it, when I’ve told myself to play it cool. Move slowly, you’re going to scare everyone with how fast you fall.

They’re going to think you love too hard.

A boy once told me I was loud in bed. At first, I hid my embarrassed face. My cheeks all tomato red, afraid my volume was too much. I was too much.

Now I wonder, if my orgasm isn’t the thing making all that noise. It’s my love, my heart, the thumping in my chest I’ve never been able to drown out. TC mark

33 Tattoo Artists Reveal The Popular Tattoo Trends That They Hate

Posted: 22 Jun 2016 05:00 PM PDT

Flickr / Liz Lawley
Flickr / Liz Lawley
Found on AskReddit.

1. Can you picture a 90-year-old with a tramp stamp?

"Tramp stamps…can you picture your 90-year-old self with a tramp stamp?"


2. I’m super-tired of having to tattoo people’s assholes.

"I’m super-tired of having to tattoo people’s assholes. Sometimes they come back with terrible bacterial infections so I have to sear their asshole shut. I don’t know if this is a regional thing, I work in Rhode Island."


3. What tribe you from, bro?

"Tribal tattoos. What tribe you from, bro?"


4. Yeah, but does it mean that they swallow?

"I fucking hate how many people get swallow tattoos, it gets so repetitive and is a lame starter tattoo."


5. I don’t feel like tattooing your mother’s face on your hairy back.

"Tattoos of people’s faces."


6. I like cheeseburgers, but I don’t fucking tattoo a cheeseburger on myself.

"I’m sick of seeing people tattoo shit they like on their bodies.

‘I got this music note on my neck because I like music!’

I like cheeseburgers, but I don’t fucking tattoo a cheeseburger on myself.

That and ‘Live. Laugh. Love.’"


7. The Monster energy drink ‘M.’

"The Monster energy drink ‘M.’ Like seriously wtf??? Are you that brand loyal to a shitty tasting energy drink? Do you just think it looks eXtreme, yo? Would you be cool with getting other brand logos tattooed, like a NASCAR version of a person? Whenever I see someone with this bumper sticker, let alone tattoo!, I assume they are an extra special level of white trash.

If you think I’m a judgmental bitch, you are correct and I make no apologies."


8. If you have barbed wire on both arms, I think you are an idiot.

"20 years ago it was barbed wire on both arms. I dubbed that look ‘dub barbs’ if you have that I think you are an idiot."


9. "If you like dream catchers so much, buy one. "

"If you like dream catchers so much, buy one…and put it over your bed…like how they’re meant to be used. Sick of dream catcher tattoos on white chicks."


10. Oh wow, another fox that is made of triangles….How original.

"Geometric animals. They drive me crazy, they are the tribal tattoo of our generation. Oh wow, another fox that is made of triangles….How original."


11. Hello Kitty and area codes.

"Hello Kitty.

Oh, and area codes."


12. God’s not the only one who’s been judging you.

"ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME.

Mainly because I’m pretty sure a jury of their peers has probably had to do so already."


13. I’m sick of dolphins.

"I’m sick of dolphins."


14. Feathers/dandelions dissolving into birds/butterflies.

"Rib script. Please stop. Also, feathers/dandelions dissolving into birds/butterflies. So many words required to explain why that graphic in Google image search/Pinterest won’t translate from screen to skin over and over and over again. Please, everyone just go back to getting koi fish or nautical stars. Plz."


15. Anything exploding into bird silhouettes.

"Infinity tattoos. Anything exploding into bird silhouettes. Dream catchers. Anchors that refuse to sink. Finger words. White ink tattoos."


16. Straight-up ugly crosses.

"Unattractive, straight-up ugly crosses. To me it’s a shame when people have bad taste in crosses. It’s such a simple thing that’s supposed to be meaningful yet some people can’t seem to get past the second page of Google images."


17. Itty-bitty lettering and white ink.

"Itty-bitty lettering, white ink, sides of the feet, ‘hiding’ names in designs, etc."


18. Nautical stars.

"Nautical stars—I know at least 5 people that have it if not more."


19. Owls, owls, and more owls.

"Owls are everywhere."


20. Infinitely stupid.

"Infinity symbols with the word “love” in it. Anchors with the phrase “nothing can sink me” or a variation of that. That one is just stupid."


21. Fucking Chinese words that make no sense.

"Fucking Chinese words that make no sense, or sound incredibly cheesy."


22. Pocket watches with roses.

"Pocket watches with roses.

Black and grey cloud sleeves.

A paragraph of writing, usually a generic meaningless quote.

Tattoos on the side of the hand or inside fingers.

Wanting everything black and grey, when it will clearly look way better in colour.

Just to name a few."


23. Is their first name ‘Nelson’?

"Mandala tattoos. They are really trendy at the moment and they take me forever for me to draw! Luckily here in Tokyo they are not as prominent as back in Australia or England."


24. Finger mustaches.

"Finger mustaches, ‘refuse to sink’ anchors, and inner lip/side of foot tattoos."


25. Koi fish and Pinterest quotes.

"Koi fish and any form of Pinterest sayings.


26. Words Of Wisdom on the Skank Flank.

"Words Of Wisdom on the Skank Flank."


27. Miley Cyrus tattoos.

"Miley Cyrus tattoos."


28. Well, duh!

"Swastikas."


29. Feel the sting.

"Bernie tattoos."


30. Finger tattoos on the side of the finger.

"Finger tattoos—the ones on the side of the finger. I’ve seen a lot of girls lately none of them can stand the pain at ALL. They also require good maintenance and they don’t do it. The ones I’ve seen that are a couple of months old or even a year are all faded and since it hurts they don’t bother with the touch-ups. The other thing I don’t like is that most of the girls I have tattooed have real slim fingers and it’s a bitch to get in there plus the twitching and sometimes moving makes it worse."


31. Stop looking at Pinterest and all the Photoshopped tattoos on there.

"Fad tattoos. Infinity signs, dream catchers, finger tattoos (the side of the fingers), feathers and bird silhouettes, the black and grey tree sleeves that start at the wrist, watercolor tattoos of any of the previous mentioned items, words as small as you can make them, and white ink (by itself) tattoos….Stop looking at Pinterest and all the Photoshopped tattoos on there."


32. Fuckin’ white people getting tribal tests on they skinny-ass arms.

"Fuckin’ white people getting tribal tests on they skinny-ass arms. If doesn’t make you look tough or cool, it just makes you look like a child trying to sit at the grown up tables. Get you fuckin’ shine box."


33. I’m seeing a lot of kids with shitty face tattoos.

"The clients who don’t understand why I won’t tattoo their necks or hands when they have no other major visible tattoos are a pain… I’m seeing a lot of kids with shitty face tattoos and I just know there’s a bunch of scratchers out there with no respect for other people’s lives…worst part is the fact that we get shit for not wanting to fuck up your life permanently.

Other than that, I fucking love my job. Love it." TC mark

8 Reasons Why Introverts Are The Best People To Sleep With

Posted: 22 Jun 2016 04:00 PM PDT

Nina Sever
Nina Sever

You would think that extroverts would naturally be better in bed. But in fact, it’s quite the opposite.

1. They slow it down.

They aren’t going to rush anything when it comes to pleasing you. They are more gentle, and will meet you with a steadier, more enjoyable pace. They aren’t over confident about anything. They are just plain confident that they know what they’re doing.

2. It’s all about the trust.

They aren’t going to do anything that crosses the line (unless you want to). They won’t want to make you uncomfortable and will want you to trust them with every inch of your body.

3. They know exactly what they are doing.

Believe me, they have thought about what they were going to do beforehand. They already have it all worked out in their head. There will be no sense of hesitation from them.

4. They will be solely focused on you.

Introverts choose wisely who they give their energy. And if they choose you, you’re in for a treat. They won’t be lazy. And they’ll be eager to make you happy.

5. They know when to be silent.

Sometimes, talking when things are about to get hot and heavy, completely ruins the mood. Period. Introverts know that with silence, comes intensified senses like touch and taste. They know the power that silence can bring to the table (or bed). 

6.They love to love you.

If an introvert loves you, they will put a lot of their time and energy into your relationship. They will make sure you are happy and are never scared to speak up about what you want more of. They want you to feel totally at ease at all times. And the more relaxed your body will be, the better the sex will be.

7. Intimacy beforehand is what they love most.

There is nothing quite better than a person who knows how to do foreplay correctly. It will immediately have you wanting more and they’ll love for you to beg them for it.

8. It’s all about the connection for them.

Yes, sex is physical. But, introverts carefully decide who they do it with. And if they want to do it with you, it’s not because you’re hot or pretty. It’s because you are intriguing in their eyes and they genuinely want to get to know you better. They will want to know all about your world, your dislikes, likes and loves. For introverts, the emotional connection is keyTC mark

The Man Who Lies To You Does Not Belong In Your Life

Posted: 22 Jun 2016 03:00 PM PDT

unsplash.com
unsplash.com

In a world that is reliable only in its imperfection, pain is inevitable for all of us. Every living soul on this planet has its own unique set of circumstances, but there is a common thread that intricately connects us all: the fear of pain. The things that constitute pain are different for everyone, but the root of the fear is the same. It is human nature to put up walls and run from the things we believe have the power to hurt us.

But for some people, the fear of pain is like a drug. No matter how much they try to fight the temptation, they can't seem to stop indulging in the pain. They create their own personal purgatories by remaining in situations that put them at a constant risk for heartbreak. Over time, the concepts of sadness and despair have become romanticized by the idea that there will always be a knight in shining armor waiting in the wings to take the pain away.

The truth is, these prophetic heroes are few and far between. There is no beauty to be found in sadness. Running back to the things that cause us pain isn't brave; it's reckless.

The man who lies to you and cheats on you does not belong in your life. A relationship that leaves you hopeless and hurting is not a love story; it is toxic. The pain that comes from loving someone who treats you like you're worthless will bring you to your knees every single time. You can see it coming from a mile away, and yet you stand frozen in place, putting your heart in harm's way even though you know you should be running like hell. There is nothing that is going to stop that relationship from going up in flames and burning you down in the process. Eventually the people in your life are going to grow tired of watching you self-destruct, and there won't be anybody left to pick up the pieces.

Nobody in this world can save you from yourself. The decision to grow from your mistakes and to protect your heart from pain is yours. There is no shame in tearing your walls down to let someone in. It takes courage to take big risks with your heart. The secret is to recognize the situations that are destined to hurt you so you can get out before they have the chance to. TC mark

10 Warning Signs You’re Settling For Less In Love

Posted: 22 Jun 2016 02:00 PM PDT

Hoffnungsschimmer
Hoffnungsschimmer

1. You always find yourself excusing his bad behavior to your friends. Your friends are like your gatekeepers, protecting your metaphorical relationship moat from idiots and assholes. But something happens when we really like someone. We know he has bad habits, our friends know he has bad habits, yet we continuously excuse our partners when they do something dumb. “Oh, he’s just having a bad day” or “Oh, that’s how he gets when he’s hungry.” When the love is right you shouldn’t have to make excuses for what he says or how he behaves.

2. Your friends don’t like him. Always a red flag. Your friends should love your boyfriend or girlfriend, making you jealous about how well they get along!

3. No matter what, he’s too busy. I get it. We are all busy. We all have things to do and people to see. But when you want to make time for something, you will. It doesn’t matter what else you have going on in your life. If you care, you’ll make time.

4. He doesn’t have any of his own dreams or goals. It’s not to say that your other half needs to dream of being president or whatever, but they should surely have some sense of direction. Purpose. A thing they’re really into. Being into things, having those tiny little obsessions, is what makes you interesting.

5. You’re always an option, not a choice. When you’re together you always get the sense that he’s distracted, that he’s only half paying attention to you. There’s always something before you, no matter what. You’re always made to feel like an option, not a choice.

6. There’s nothing to talk about. There’s a difference between pregnant silences you don’t mind because you’re in your zone and pregnant silences you have because there’s literally nothing else to talk about.

7. He can always reach you but you can never get him. Oh your phone was on silent, was it?

8. He doesn’t excite you anymore the way he used to. If you live together, going home is more of a burden than not.

9. You live vicariously through other couples. When you see other happy couples, in love and making out and all that, you wish you had what they have.

10. You’re always waiting. There’s a difference between waiting to drum up anticipation and excitement and waiting because he ain’t thinking about you. So there you sit, waiting for him to respond to a message, waiting for him to change. Waiting. But for what? When he loves you he doesn’t make you wait. TC mark

Date Someone You Don’t Have To Impress

Posted: 22 Jun 2016 01:00 PM PDT

WR36
WR36

Date someone you can be goofy with. Someone who can embrace your silliness, someone who joins you in your absurdity and someone who doesn't ask you to act in a certain way or speak in a certain manner so you can attract them.

Date someone who is impressed by originality, by authenticity and by how real you are.

Date someone you can be too honest with. Someone you can trust with all your secrets and feel comfortable telling them about all the crazy stories that you held inside. Someone who listens and tries to understand, someone who tries to understand without judging and someone who doesn't expect you to have a spotless life or a spotless past. Date someone who doesn't make you afraid of sharing your personal secrets or saying you don't know something. Date someone who is not afraid of teaching you and who is willing to learn from you too.

Date someone who doesn't care about status. Someone who doesn't care about titles or labels or big names, someone who is humble enough to realize that these things don't matter and they shouldn't. Date someone who is over impressing people with who they date, someone who knows better, someone who gets it and someone who doesn't think of people as trophies and date someone who knows that having you by their side is enough. 

Date someone you don't have to impress because they're already impressed by you and who you are, by being with you and by loving you.

Date someone who reminds you that you can be yourself and still be loved, that even on your worst or weakest days you still mean the world to them.

Date someone who still thinks you're hot when you're tired and pale and barely speaking, date someone who finds your quirks endearing.

And finally date someone who doesn't make you feel like dating them is a race you need to win, that you have to compete for their attention, that you have to work on your resume so they can accept you, that you have to learn more skills so they can approve of you and date someone who thinks you're overqualified to even participate in these ridiculous games. Date someone who doesn't even want to play because the game ended the moment they met you. TC mark

I Want To Fall For You

Posted: 22 Jun 2016 12:00 PM PDT

Neil Conway
Neil Conway

You asked me what I want. I didn't respond, and instead said, “I don't know." Because what I want is something you can't give me, or rather it's something I can't take from you.

I want to fall in love.

I want to fall head over heels, fall so passionately and deeply in love that I don't know what’s happening. I want to be smitten in love, to feel that a train hit me, and for better or worse, I am in for the ride. The exhilaration of the ride, the excitement, the passion. I want all of that, but not just the love and passion. I want to feel; I want the waves of emotion to flow through me, from the soft lapping of waves to the beasts of tides rising high above the horizon. I want the tornado of anger when you piss me off. The quiet rising tides of jealousy. The dark empty pit of sadness. The hopelessness when I know nothing can be done to salvage situations. I understand that all these emotions are with the package; I cannot solely feel smitten in love, passionate and gooey eyed.

I accept all the other raging emotions that come with it, because if I can trade all of those emotions, even for a moment, just to feel the rawness of love, I would do it.

You asked me what I want. I have a death wish, a death wish to be heartbroken. Because if a love is so great that it makes me feel everything and brings out the rawness of emotions, there is no way that anyone can withstand it… can they?

Maybe only through a heartbreak will I know great love; maybe experiencing a great love means that I will eventually have to let go of that great love, which will bring me a heartbreak. Maybe we are all destined to experience great love; a love that is not ours to keep. Or maybe I'm a pessimist.

But I’m in it for the train ride.

I want to be in love. I want to feel my heart beat rising as you step in and hold me close. I want to sit and stare into your eyes, your eyes telling me everything I need to know. I want to watch the stars while you hold my hand, making up stupid stories about the stars and constellations. I want to listen to you tell me that you love me & that I am special, yet knowing I will question myself how many times you have said that to others.

I want to go on picnics with you. To travel & explore new lands. To go grocery shopping at 3AM in the morning and make pancakes at 10PM, just because we want to. I want to surprise you with birthday cakes, and random presents just because I found something that I know you would love. I want to buy you takeout without needing to ask you what you want, because I know your order. I want to dress up and go to concerts & operas with you. I want to laze in your T-shirt and sweats on Sunday mornings, making coffee and then going straight back to bed afterwards. I want to be cuddled and kissed and fondled with. I want to have random conversations for hours, and afterwards having no clue what we talked about, just knowing that it was a good time.

I want to be in love.

Maybe it'll be a love so great that my heart cannot contain it. Maybe it'll be a love so great that Nothing can contain it & Nothing can stand it. So maybe it will only be a great love in one chapter of my life; but maybe that chapter will be the best chapter ever.

Perhaps that would be better, to have something temporarily so you learn how to treasure it. I don't know. I accept that maybe this great love is perhaps not for me to have; perhaps just for me to experience, if I ever even manage to find a love so great.

But I believe that it does exist, I do.

It's funny, because I think you can be my great love. Ironic though, because it feels that it could be great, yet it's only ever real when it's shadowed from the world, when we are enclosed in our own little bubble. But who is to judge that, to say it's not real? All I know is that it feels real in our little bubble, and maybe that's enough, just for now.

Knowing that I can have that in a little bubble makes me question what it will feel like if it was not hidden in a bubble. Perhaps it's a love so great that nothing can contain it; perhaps that is why we stop ourselves from feeling, from unleashing the powers that it can yield on us, on those around us.

Perhaps it's a love so great that it's only supposed to be felt halfway so we don't become scarred for life; perhaps it's a love so great that nothing can contain it, not meant to be fully felt because we would not be able to recuperate if the impact was fully unleashed. Funny, though. Since when was I afraid of scars? TC mark