Thought Catalog


44 Hilarious Jokes About Carrots That Will Make You Appreciate The Trump-Colored Vegetable

Posted: 25 Jun 2016 08:00 PM PDT

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TC mark

9 Ways To Battle Your Workplace ‘Senioritis’

Posted: 25 Jun 2016 07:00 PM PDT

mattmylesphoto
mattmylesphoto

Okay, so you're officially graduated and in the real world, so the old 'senioritis' excuse, (aka. I'm just lazy AF and not trying to do anything) isn't going to cut it.

The honest truth: Sometimes we all struggle to find the energy to work hard at our jobs.

Whether we love work, hate it, or are just going through the motions, we all need that little spark to get us going again. And here are some ideas to motivate your lazy butt:

1. Start your day with a little energy boost.

Maybe you're going to be stuck in a cubicle all day like a lifeless lump. Well instead of waking up, dragging yourself out of bed, and ho-humming all the way to your desk, start with a pick-me-up! Wake up a little earlier and go to the gym. Even if it's just a thirty minute workout, it will energize your entire body (and thus entire day). Plus, you'll feel productive, so even if you're sitting around from 9 to 5, you won't feel as couch-potatoey.

Struggling to wake up and workout? Not a morning person? Give yourself a little time to make (or prepare the night before) a healthy and full breakfast. (PSA: Coffee isn't a breakfast.) Giving your body some solid nutrition at the start is the best way to get yourself up and going on the right foot.

2. Make a daily to-do list.

There's no greater satisfaction than crossing items off a list. At the start of every morning, take a few minutes to create a list. This will not only organize your entire day, but keep you productive and motivated to cross as many things off of that list as possible.

3. Don't underestimate the value of a power snack.

Just getting a good breakfast isn't going to cut it. If you find yourself starving by lunchtime, and thus stuffing your face and being in a sleepy food coma for the rest of the afternoon, you most definitely need to invest in a snack. Keep some nuts, fruit, or other healthy item in your desk drawer. It's better to continually snack all day (especially on healthy stuff) than starve and get cranky by noon. (Trust me, nobody wants to deal with your sass-a$$.)

4. Get up and walk around during your lunchbreak.

There's no reason to sit in your desk all hours of the day. Just a simple walk, or even getting up and eating outside or in another part of the office does wonders to your body. It gets the blood flowing again, changes your perspective, and even though it's such a small thing, it totally refreshes you.

5. Create a positivity board.

If you're feeling crappy, try thinking of one thing you're excited about, happy about, or thankful for and post it somewhere on your desk when you can see it. Try to add to this as often as possible. Positive thoughts lead to positive results, so the more you can remind yourself of the good, the less you'll focus on the bad.

6. Listen to some encouraging music.

A good song can be a total pick-me-up, so if possible, make a positive playlist and play it during the day. Can't listen to music at the office? Well then invest in some headphones (or play it out loud) and make at least a few minutes of your lunch break dedicated to music time.

7. Get a good night's sleep.

This is so true it's unbelievable. Getting more sleep can change literally your entire day. If you find yourself not getting enough hours, or constantly yawning by 10AM, you might need to snuggle up a little earlier. Honestly, sleep is so restorative. And it might be a super small thing, but it can completely change how you feel during the workday.

8. Create a rewards system.

Remember the days of sticker charts? Yes, even as adults we sometimes need a rewards system. Find a few things, in the future, that you're pumped about. Maybe it's a mini-vacation, a weekend trip with your friends, or even a weeknight concert at the local bar. Whatever it is, get excited about it! Work towards it! Tell yourself that going to that thing is a reward for working hard, and then work hard until that memorable milestone.

9. Stop freaking complaining!

Seriously. Here's a complete 'duh' moment for you—the more you bitch about your job, the more you're going to hate it. Negativity breeds negativity. So first of all, leave work at work, no matter how much you want to whine about your coworker's wheezy voice. Second of all, there is a HUGE difference between social time and bitching time. Social time is so good for you (especially during the work day, in moderation of course) but it actually drains the heck out of you if the only thing you're socializing about is how much you hate your job.

So quit it already. Being a chronic complainer—not cute. TC mark

I Want A Good Old Fashioned Country Romance

Posted: 25 Jun 2016 06:00 PM PDT

Scott Webb
Scott Webb

I want a love like an old-fashioned country song. I want to wake up to the sun peaking through the shades in a rustic log cabin home in the middle of nowhere town. I want to drink our morning coffee from the porch swing and look out at the yard and be thankful for everything in our life we've created and are able to call ours.

I want kids that are out tearing up the yard with the dogs, playing in the dirt and raising their own hell. I want to watch them grow and learn to love in front of our eyes. I want to watch them learn to fish and fall in love with sitting in a tree stand. I want to watch them learn how to play football and watch them run around in their cowboy boots.

But before a family, I want my own little country romance.

I want weekends spent surrounded by friends around a bonfire and pick up trucks. I want country music blaring through the speakers and a little hell-raising happening. I want to sneak off out into the woods or head by the barn, just like where we learned to love and practice a little more.

I want to go skinny dipping in the creek and lay out under the big night sky looking at the stars. I want to continue to explore all those old dirt roads we know a little too well from when we were just kids. I still want to go sneak off there during the day with you when we want to get away.  I want to go mudding through the fields after a good rainstorm and get ourselves covered in a little mud.

I want to go for a drive with you, out in the middle of nowhere because I'd go anywhere with you. I want to get lost with my hand in yours, laughing with the wind blowing through my hair.

I want to go fishing in the dark, at the start of summer and make bets on who can catch the biggest fish. I want to sit next to you while the crickets chirp and the warm summer night wind blows. I want to be thankful for the silence in the night with you by my side taking in nature and casting our reels.

I want to go to the county fair and walk around looking at everything. I want to go to the country concert at night and get drunk and tailgate with you before in the parking lot.

I want to dance and love you all night just like we’re 18 again, just like we did when we didn’t have a single care in the world.

I'll tell you how much you turn me on when your in blue jeans and a baseball cap covered in dirt from working hard. You don't need to impress me because that's doing enough. I'll love you for making an honest blue collar living and working hard for the money in your hand.

I want to spend my cool fall mornings sitting in a tree stand, with or without you. I want to practice sighting in our rifles and packing our lunches for a day well spent out in the woods. I want to see who can shoot a bigger buck and let that person have bragging rights for the season.

I want to ride around on four-wheelers and get covered in mud. I want to ride horses through the trails in the woods and go outside our country home to the chicken coop to get fresh eggs for breakfast in the morning.

I want to grab a six-pack and sit on top of a field and look over all God created with you by my side. I want to think about how lucky we are and reminisce on all the memories we’ve shared together.

I want to laugh over all the stupid things we’ve done and all the times we cut it way too close to getting caught by the law when we were young.

But of everything I want, all I really want is an old fashioned love with a good man who works hard and treats people right. I don’t need a big diamond ring or designer purses, cowboy boots and country roots will do just fine for me. TC mark

14 Reasons Why Single Girls Are Actually The Happiest To Be Around

Posted: 25 Jun 2016 05:00 PM PDT

rusty
rusty

1. It's just her and herself. No one else's emotions and needs to deal with. She can do whatever her little heart desires. Does this make her selfish? Maybe a little, but she don't even care.

2. She has more time and energy to invest on other relationships. Her family and friends come first. In no way does she feel lonely or unloved; she's surrounded by loads of people who truly love her.

3. Traveling is on her agenda. She is free. Nothing is tying her down and is able to fly away at any point. Paris for the weekend? Don't mind if she does.

4. She’s realized no one cares. No one even bothers to ask her about her relationship statues anymore, they already know the answer.

5. Independent and strong are the two words to describe her best. She's navigated it this far on her own and doesn't need anyone to help her stand in this world.

6. She is able to focus on taking care of herself. She's not eating healthy and going to the gym to impress someone else. Her basic needs come first, and she wouldn't have it any other way.

7. She’s her own S/O. Netflix and chilling, with a glass of wine, by herself is a thing.

8. She’s not tied to her phone. Due to her complete lack of a 'love life', she is no longer sitting around waiting for guys to message her back. More often then not, it's her mom who is calling.

9. Being single can help one's bank account quite a lot. She is able to spend money on herself and doesn't have to worry about spending money on silly things, such as anniversary gifts.

10. She knows what real happiness is. Cuddling is always fun, but a whole bottle of wine can also do the trick.

11. She's not wasting time on tinder, bumble, and blind dates. She's given the opportunity to spend her time doing what she enjoys the most, even if that does include binge-watching Netflix.

12. No more tears spend over guys who are mean. It's been so long, she can't even remember what it was like having her heart broken.

13. Now she has more time to focus on herself and her future. She doesn't have to take anyone else into consideration. So she can always do what is best for her.

14. She is happy. Throughout the years, she has learned to not rely on others for her happiness. She is completely content being on her own. She is in love with her life and more importantly, herself. TC mark

Please Just Do Your Best With What You Have

Posted: 25 Jun 2016 04:00 PM PDT

24874490176_55695b2e66_o
lechatnoir

Don't spend your life wishing you had someone else's. Don't wish for a life like you see on TV. Don't fantasize over homes you see in magazines. Don't be convinced you'd be happier if you had more money. Don't always spend your life wondering what could have been or what life could be like, just please do the best with what you have.

There will always be someone with more money, more power, bigger houses and better cars. There will always be someone who has more than you, but there will always be people who have less. You can't live your life by constantly comparing your life to others; it won’t do you any good and will just leave you feeling disappointed in all you could have.

Instead of wondering, start living. Make the most of everything you have. Cherish your friendships, love your family, take pride in all you've accomplished.

What you plant now, will bloom later.

Pay attention to your life, stay humble and kind, and keep working hard for everything. Start working towards your best life. Start working towards what you love because once you start working hard for what you love, the rest will fall into place.

Living your best life is giving what you can right now – nothing more or nothing less. That’s all that matters.

I think the most important thing to remember is that you are only capable of what you can do. You can learn some things, but you can't learn everything, so it is important to do what you can with what you have.

If you really want something you’ve never had you’ll have to put the extra time and work in to making it a reality. But all your problems really are is a chance for you to do better, they are a chance for you to succeed and believe in yourself that you can do it. If you have faith in yourself that you can move mountains, move them, and even if you fail while trying, you'll surely still get a good work out in attempting.

Sometimes the top of the mountain isn't all it's cracked up to be. Sometimes the hike up to the top is more worth it, the struggles and back tracking makes the journey more worthwhile and teaches you the best lessons.

You don't have to jump through hops and win gold metals, I'm not asking you to become the person who finds a cure for cancer (but if you are that person, bless you and please share your knowledge) and I'm not asking you to be someone you're not. All I'm asking is that you do the best with what you've got and you follow your passion in the right direction.

Just like Albert Einstein said, "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."

Please, do the best you can with what you’ve got because I guarantee you’re capable of a hell of a lot more than you think, you just need to believe. TC mark

40 Times Chrissy Teigen And John Legend Proved That They Literally Are Relationship Goals

Posted: 25 Jun 2016 03:00 PM PDT

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TC mark

You Deserve To Love Yourself Unapologetically

Posted: 25 Jun 2016 02:00 PM PDT

Sarah Loven
Sarah Loven

No one can champion you quite like your own self can. No one wants you to succeed half as much as you do. No one fully knows your story; where you have been, the place you find yourself in now, and where you hope to go next.

It's always game time. Be prepared. Practice hard, much harder than you think you’ll need to perform. Be sure to turn up, early and to every single game, even to those games you may think don’t matter. Be present in all of your moments. Cheer loudly. Do not give a second thought to any who may be listening and judging from the sidelines.

Support yourself even when you meet with failure – maybe a little extra than you usually would. Don’t even think for a second about switching teams; this is the only team you were destined to cheer for from the day you were given life. When you give your all, but your opposition proves to be a little too tough – do not give up. Promise yourself to come back stronger, and fighting even harder the next time around. Celebrate even the smallest of wins. But don’t settle for those.

Always believe there are bigger and better triumphs to be had ahead.

You are not merely a winner, you are a champion, a warrior, a fighter. Get on out there and shower the world with your sparkling magic.

The truth is, that no one in this world will ever have your back like you do. And no one is going to believe in you and your talent half as much as you can.

If you don’t believe you’re fucking awesome, who the hell else will?

The power to become the person you’ve always wanted to be, rests quietly within you. You must go on the journey to seek it out. You don’t need to search elsewhere; look inwards. Everything you need, has been there for all this time. But you have to believe it. You have to believe in yourself. You have to drown out those little voices in your head telling you that you can't do anything spectacular, because you'll fail, or because you're simply not good enough, and what on earth makes you think that you have what it takes? Pay no attention to this. Hear those voices and make it your mission to knock them flat out with your brilliance.

Don’t waste the magic you have been graciously gifted. It won't wait around for you forever. TC mark

9 Reasons Why I Unapologetically Believe In The Power Of God

Posted: 25 Jun 2016 01:00 PM PDT

Vil Son
Vil Son

I usually don’t talk about my beliefs because the comments section of any well-thought-out article can be pretty brutal and I’m just now mastering the ability not to reply to stupidity. On top of that, it irritates me that people don’t realize that just because I believe in God doesn’t mean you have to, but at the same time–don’t disrespect Him in my face. Honestly, for me, it will cause the same reaction you get when you instantly defend your mom if somebody tried to throw shade at her. To put things frankly, I’m not having it. So, proceed with caution. This isn’t intended to offend, but instead to defend those of us who know God’s love and power. Here are 9 reasons why I unapologetically believe in the power of God.

1. I gave birth.

There isn’t a single soul on Earth that can convince me that we can endure such a challenge as giving birth on our own. Speaking from (very recent) experience, there is no way I could have given birth to such a beautiful, innocent vessel as my baby girl without the help of God, himself. From the pain to the pleasure–nobody but God. Don’t try to convince me otherwise because it won’t work. If you haven’t had a baby on your own, do you not get the same feeling when you set your eyes on such an innocent, perfect creation as a newborn child?

2. I have survived more than one near-death experience.

I am a firm believer that only God could have delivered me from what was once a very sweet taste of all my favorite drugs–that’s right. I’m not gonna tell you about how much I love God and then deny how I’ve experienced His power firsthand. He’s delivered me from many things–depression, addiction, envy–and the list goes on. I’ve had my life spared on numerous occasions and with all the turmoil going on in the world right now that makes me feel even more thankful for the times God has saved me. Those weren’t things that I could mentally beat, it was literally the grace of God.

3. It’s easier to trust God than to worry about things I can’t control.

My mama always said if you’re going to pray, don’t worry. If you’re going to worry, don’t pray. As a child, it was simply easy to repeat. As an adult, I completely understand what she meant now. It is so exhausting to sit and stress about things we have no control over. It’s silly. The God I serve will carry those burdens for you. He won’t make you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Don’t believe me? Try Him for yourself.

4. God sees me in brand new light every day.

Unlike friends, family, and followers, God sees us new every day. Every time he blesses us to open our eyes to a new day He gives us a fresh start to get things right. He is a forgiving God. He doesn’t say, “Oh there’s Isis, the former drug abuser.” On top of that, He sees us all the same. God loves all His children. I don’t know about you, but I feel honored just typing that. We are so lucky to be loved by such a merciful God. Lord knows, if it weren’t for His grace and mercy, I would have already been burning in hell.

5. God is better to me than I am to myself.

When I compare how I treat myself and how God treats me, all I can say is “thank God that He is in control and not me.” I’ve tried to end my life on many occasions, but none of the attempts ever worked. Not even taking it as far as suicide, there are times where I’ve just let negative energy defeat me and God doesn’t want that for me. God doesn’t only love me on my good days. He loves me unconditionally with every breath that I take. Now that I’m smarter and stronger in Him, I thank Him for always loving me more than I love me. I know it seems like hub-bub I really do, but I know that anybody who has ever felt completely alone, down-and-out and still pulled through knows exactly what kind of love I’m talking about. Feeling God’s love is truly an experience.

6. I have never been in a more promising relationship than the one I’m in with God.

He’s my father. My best friend. My lawyer. My doctor. My teacher. In other words, there is NOTHING too big for my God. He is everything I need Him to be, anytime I need Him to be it. When I’m lonely, He is my comfort. When I’m hurting, He is my healer. When I’m scared (or stupid), He is my protector. He has made promises to His believers that I have yet to experience because I’m still growing in Christ, but there are also many promises that I am witnessing in my life firsthand.

7. I started paying my tithes and now I make more money than I ever imagined–no lie.

Y’all. I kid you not. I started giving God my 10% and when I tell you He blew my mind EVERY week thereafter. I. AM. NOT. LYING. This is a personal journey that I encourage you to learn more about. All I can say is that within a 3-month period of paying my tithes willingly and selflessly I went from making a few dollars here and there to five figures! God (and my best friends) as my witness.

8. I have identified, acknowledged, and accepted my purpose in life.

I’ll admit that when I started writing I just identified it as something I loved to do. I didn’t really look much further than that. Sure, I told myself that I was a good writer, but I didn’t expect to be getting thousands of shares on my work. I didn’t expect to touch the lives of individuals all over the world that I’ll never have the pleasure of meeting. And I certainly cannot fathom what God still has in store for me! Since getting closer to God I have been able to work in my passion, better yet my calling in life and this is only the beginning.

9. Nothing feels better than glorifying God.

At the end of the day, nothing feels better than knowing I’ve tried to honor God. Whether through song, worship, writing, pray, or praise all the glory and honor goes to Him. I have never experienced a more fruitful and meaningful life than this one I’ve spent unapologetically chasing God. I’m not afraid to say that falling in love with His son was the best decision I have ever made. TC mark

10 Reasons It’s Easier To Love A Woman Who’s Loved Before

Posted: 25 Jun 2016 12:00 PM PDT

A Nikon Girl
A Nikon Girl

1. She will know when to say “I love you”.

A woman who has loved before knows when she is starting to fall in love with you. She won’t be hesitant and won’t be scared to say it. And when she does say it, it will be true.

2. She will be good in bed.

A woman who has loved before, most likely, will know what most men like in bed. They won’t be timid and will love to please you as much as she can.

3. She will know how to cherish you.

Since she has been in love before, she will know how to hold onto you and to make great memories with you. She has learned from her previous mistakes and now knows how important it is to hold your partner close to your heart.

4. She will be anything but boring.

She will want to go on crazy adventures with you and won’t want to miss out on experiencing new things with you. She knows from past experience that laying in bed all day, doing nothing, is not exactly a healthy relationship.

5. She will take it slow.

She’s going to take everything a bit slower and not rush everything at once. She wants to make sure you’re on the same page as her and won’t want to lose you before you even begin to fall in love.

6. She will know how to forgive you.

From her past love, she now knows that forgiveness is one of the keys to a healthy relationship. She will want you to feel like you can be yourself without consequences.

7. She will know how to trust you.

She has learned that the first key to a great relationship is trust. She will want you to feel at ease and comfortable with her. She’ll want you to go out with your guy friends, and won’t care about your friends that are girls. She’s not naive, she’s just a trusting person now.

8. She will make time with you.

She’s not going to blow you off when you need her most, she’s going to be there as soon as you ask. She will want you to know that you can count on her to be there for you anytime of the day.

9. She will surprise you randomly.

A woman who has loved before and has lost that person, knows that sometimes to keep the fire burning you need to keep your significant other on their toes. Expect to be brought treats on random days and to receive even more surprises in the bedroom.

10. She is in this relationship because she really likes you.

She wouldn’t be in this relationship if she didn’t feel very strongly about you. She’s not going to waste time on someone she only maybe likes. Trust that she is truly in this and wants you two to succeed and grow together. TC mark

5 Myths About Adulthood That You Sincerely Believed When You Were A Kid

Posted: 25 Jun 2016 11:30 AM PDT

twinshenanigans
twinshenanigans

As a 21-year-old, there are many aspects of being an adult that I don’t understand yet (like stocks and super delegates) but there are some significant, embarrassing realizations we all go through while emerging clumsily out of childhood.

1. Being rich is a choice

My friend May and I would play dress-up and say things like "when we're grown-up we're only going to wear designer clothes." We envisioned a huge apartment on the Upper East Side of Manhattan with stunning skyline views and remotes to control the lights, curtains, fridge and everything else. I was going to be a teacher and she was going to be an artist. Then we grew up and realized that only a very, very small percentage of society gets to live that kind of luxury life and it most likely won't be us. (Side note: when my mom got money out of the bank I had no idea it was connected to an account— I thought anyone could just walk in, choose any amount and walk out).

2. Teachers live at school

I don't know anyone who didn't seriously think this at a certain point in their childhood. As previously stated, I used to really want to be a teacher but the only caveat was that I would have to live at the school. And I wanted to share that crazy, high-tech apartment with my friend May… So I truly wasn't sure what I was going to do. Come on, we can all relate to that utter feeling of disbelief seeing your fourth grade teacher walking around your neighborhood in a tank top and flip-flips, grocery bag on arm.

3. Unhealthy food actually tastes bad to adults

For the life of me I couldn't understand why my mom didn't make a beeline to the Oreos, Nutella and Lucky Charms at the grocery store. How is it possible!? I felt helplessly in love with this junk food yet my mom seemed unfazed by the various forms of sugar and corn syrup that the aisles boasted. I assumed that magically when I turned twenty my taste buds would radically change and all of a sudden salad and broccoli would start to taste like snickers. Growing up is realizing that you still want the sweets just like you want the bad boy you never quite got over in high school; all being an adult really is is forceful, often painful self-control.

4. Cigarettes are disgusting and I'll never, ever smoke them

I used to snap the pretzel rods in half and suck on it's salt-crusted end lazily, mimicking the cigarette smokers I had seen leaning on the doors of NYC streets. But simultaneously, I swore by the fact that I would never, under any circumstances actually try one of those horrible things. Then the cuffed-pants boy with cerulean eyes offered me one on the rooftop of a party sophomore year of high school and the myth was debunked.

5. There is only one soulmate out there for you that you will marry and have kids with

I do recognize that a huge part of the reason I believed this was because I watched all the disney princess movies on repeat throughout my childhood and I thought my heteronormative, happily married parents resembled Ariel and Eric from "The Little Mermaid." But I truly did believe that when I was twenty-five (to be exact) I would be in a long flowy sea-foam green dress standing in the middle of the dance-floor of a party alone when a tall man with chiseled cheekbones would tap me on the shoulder and I would just know— that's him. But it doesn't really work like that. There are so many different forms of love between every type of person and every single one of them is probably more exciting, less shallow and more real than any prince anyway. TC mark