Thought Catalog


21 Hilarious Ways To Explain What ‘Ghosting’ Really Is

Posted: 27 Jun 2016 05:30 PM PDT

Olga Ush
Olga Ush

1.

The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just “get the hint” and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested. Ghosting is not specific to a certain gender and is closely related to the subject’s maturity and communication skills. Many attempt to justify ghosting as a way to cease dating the ghostee without hurting their feelings, but it in fact proves the subject is thinking more of themselves, as ghosting often creates more confusion for the ghostee than if the subject kindly stated how he/she feels.

Ghostface Illa

2.

Something that immature little boys do to girls when they’re too cowardly to say they’re no longer interested. This results in the boy feeling great he got away so easily without any “drama” but leaves the girl with an inordinate amount of pain, anxiety and over-thinking about what the hell she did/said/texted wrong.

A phenomena made popular in modern society with the more disposable forms of communication such as text messages thereby removing the ghosted from any culpability or having to deal with a real face to face response.

Ghosthunter10

3.

A term used to define the act of leaving.

LolalolalolaBAM

4.

V. To Ghost. The action of not attending a specific date, situation or function when it was previously decided that it would be attended. To duck out or to bail from the situation.

T0m0HAwK

5.

To take a hit off a joint, bong, pipe, etc. and hold it in so long that when you go to exhale no smoke comes out. Doing this a lot during a sesion w/ big hits is bound to get you stoned off your ass.

Fuzzman

6.

When a guy seems really into you then suddenly disappears.

Hellsbelle

7.

This occurs when a person goes “offline” on Facebook but continues to creep and look at pictures.

CrossCountryFool15

8.

During sex – doggystyle – switch with a friend at the point of climax, but without allowing the girl to realise. For ghosting to take full effect, ensure that the girl is positioned against a first floor window, looking out. After the switch, run down and wave through the window. Then simply enjoy her reaction to ‘seeing a ghost’.

The King…

9.

To ghost: Cutting all ties with a girl.

Curnis Furnis

10.

The act of quickly leaving a bar, party, or function during a blackout without telling any of your friends.

The Widge

11.

Jacking off into a folded tissue to produce a arts and crafts style “ghost”with your tissue and your semen

lordsofsalem

12.

The act of covertly observing other people having a good time – due either to shyness or creepiness.

NHalex

13.

Using the “invisible” option on an instant messenger service so that you can see everyone on your buddylist, but you don’t show up on theirs.

Wendi

14.

The act of hiding while a friend is having sex in the same room. As your friend didn’t tell you to leave, and you are stuck there till your friend is done fucking, as afraid of being seen by the girl.

littlelago

15.

When working in a multi-floor office, taking a shit on a floor that isn’t yours without anyone knowing it, and leaving it there.

chineseninjafighter

16.

When receiving a blow job just prior to climaxing make some smart ass comment to get the girl sucking your cock to laugh just as you blow your load. The result will be the same as making a friend laugh while they are drinking a glass of milk – only creamier.

Roundy

17.

pulling your shirt over your head in the middle of the bar and chugging your beer through your shirt. “bro you just ghosted that beer”

cheeseman223

18.

to go invisible on gchat.

Darmani

19.

To give your sexual partner the experience of seeing a ghost.

bubblefish13

20.

When you have sex with a very pale woman

orca sniffer

21.

To capture a midget, dress the midget in a long ballroom gown type dress (preferably white) duck tape the midget’s hands to the ceiling fan blade and turn on the aforementioned ceiling fan so it appears there is a spooky ghost flying around the room

Richard StrokaTC mark

You Are The Architect Of Your Own Unhappiness

Posted: 27 Jun 2016 05:00 PM PDT

Natalie Butler
Natalie Butler

You love blaming other people for your state of being. Your parents, your boss, the world, me. We are all responsible for the let downs in your life. If we were better, then you would be better; only none of that is true.

You decide who you are and who you become.

You choose to see the world for its grievances and disappointments instead of for its opportunities. You say you're unhappy. You say you wish things were different. I wonder why you don't make your life into what you want it to be.

Why you say you long to be loved yet keep me at arm's length? Why you wish to be great, but limit yourself to the mundane? You have stopped noticing beauty. You have stopped noticing potential. You are not the person I once knew and I'm afraid you never will be again.

Love. You will never have this. It comes only out of mutual desire and respect for the people who support you. You don't trust people enough to let them that close. And people don't want to be connected with someone so emotionally damning.

I wish I could inspire you to love and to feel and to hope. I want so badly for you to realize you are standing in your own way. I think you already know though. The world will never matter or be enough for you until you accept that we don't get to decide the challenges of life, only how we react to the challenges given to us.

Maybe you will never be satisfied with what you have and life will always disappoint you. Maybe you will always waste your goodness and choose to brood in the misfortunes of your life.

One would think you have suffered a great loss or tragedy looking at the bitterness in your heart, but it is just your nature. I wonder if you'll ever change. You deliberately point out flaws with a smile and a curse. I hate to say it, but I've started to give up on you. You choose the darkness too often for me to keep trying to be your light.

At the end of it all, you are the architect of your own unhappiness. Someday I hope you realize you can also be the architect of your own beautiful, imperfect life if only you give yourself the chance you deserve. TC mark

7 Subtle Signs She Wants A Second Date

Posted: 27 Jun 2016 04:00 PM PDT

chuck_heston
chuck_heston

1. She keeps smiling like a crazy person.

Sometimes the best way a woman can show interest is through her smile. It's hard (male or female!) to muster up the courage to say, 'I like you,' and on a first date, sometimes the timing isn't exactly right. But if she's smiling at everything from your silly jokes to super awkward attempts at small talk, if her face lights up when you make eye contact, or if she's looking at you and a tiny creep of pink spreads across her cheeks, then yes, she's into you.

2. She has positive body language.

First dates can be filled with nervousness, but if she's leaning into the table, leaning towards you, reaching for your hand, walking close to you, or tilting in a way that is slightly towards you, this could be her very subtle way of showing you she's interested in you. Read her facial expressions and the way her body is—if she's relaxed and laid back, she feels comfortable around you, which is a very good sign.

3. She looks at you with attentiveness and focus.

When a girl is into you, she's giving you her undivided attention. She's looking right at you when you speak, not around the room, not at the waiter, not at her phone tucked in the purse in her lap. If she's listening to you, with her eyes, then she's definitely interested (and not just in what you're saying).

4. She reveals personal things about her life.

Surfacey small talk is the marker of every start of a first date, but after that initial rough patch, the floor opens to deeper topics. As the night goes on, if she's willing to talk to you about more than what meets the eye about who she is, this is a sign of her beginning to let you in, and definite interest in getting to know you better.

5. She talks about future plans or what she's up to.

You can tell if she's interested in a second date by what she talks about. If she casually mentions her plans with her girlfriends next weekend, this could be her subtle way of letting you know that she's not free on certain days, but most definitely available on others. Read her body language, if she's talking about a future time when she could do something, this is a huge flag that she's thinking about spending more time with you.

6. She mentions something about her favorite place(s).

If a girl talks about her favorite restaurant, place to get ice cream, area for swimming, trail for walking, etc. she is totally interested in a second date. She's bringing these things up, causally of course, to feel you out and see if you'll a) remember these places, b) be interested in spending time with her there. If there's even a doubt in your mind, you're being silly—when she talks about things she loves with you, she's into you. 100%.

7. She tries to get to know deeper thing about you.

It's a first date, so she's not going to ask you everything about who you are, but if she's interested, she'll definitely pick your brain a little bit. Know this—if a girl's asking you about what you do, what you enjoy, or who you are—it means that she's curious about who you are. Yes, she wants a second date. If she wasn't interested, she wouldn't ask. TC mark

You Keep Me Safe, And I’ll Keep You Wild

Posted: 27 Jun 2016 03:00 PM PDT

haylee -
haylee –

You keep me safe.

On a Thursday night, or a Sunday morning. When the clouds fill the sky and the rain softly hits the window. When the moon greets the stars and the sun kisses the ocean.

You keep me safe.

When the outside world is too much to bare.

From a rough day at work, filled with opinionated coworkers, spilled coffee, and a missed promotion.

From gossip and materialism. From fake friends and the overwhelming sins we face everyday; the things we just can't wrap our minds around.

You keep me safe.

From myself.

My past. My greediness. My insecurities. My doubts. My fears. Safe from ever thinking that I am not enough.

You keep me safe.

In your arms. In your forehead kisses and tickle fights. In your nightly snuggles, my head on your chest- moving together as your rib cage rises and falls to a steady beat.

You keep me safe, and I'll keep you wild.

Saturday afternoon adventures, discovering quaint coffee shops and bike trails. Stopping just to twirl around in the tall grass; the sounds of nature as our music.

Spending the day turning the living room into a massive fort, only for our pillow fight to knock it all down.

Miles of open highway, sub-par karaoke skills, and unlimited kettle chips; plans to complete bucket lists and visit foreign countries.

I'll keep you wild.

By playing devil's advocate. By pushing you to conquer your fears, to remember the little things, to laugh along the way.

To take that extra shot, to order the large fry. To literally do anything and everything your heart desires, big or small.

To acknowledge the things in your heart. To give back. To say yes too much and no too little. To take every opportunity handed to you because there is no limit.

I'll keep you wild.

Under your safe embrace. Because that's how you deserve to live: forever young, forever happy, and forever filled with a crazy wild love. TC mark

Today I Woke Renewed, And Today I No Longer Miss Him

Posted: 27 Jun 2016 02:00 PM PDT

Joe St. Pierre
Joe St. Pierre

Today I woke up and felt renewed, like I had shed a burdensome skin. I was headed towards a version of myself so new and never before exposed. It was the end of five long months of living with a heartbreak: with the what ifs, with the could haves, should haves, would haves, with the things I wish I said, and with those I wish I didn't.

But yesterday marked an important day in this five month journey.

Yesterday I scared myself. I ran a marathon.

I pushed myself to finish something I didn't think I would be able to. I allowed my mind to empty for hours, while I sweat, heaved, chafed, blistered, and focused on putting one foot in front of the other. Every emotion imaginable washed over me during that time and sent pulses through my body like an electric current runs through device after being restarted. That was it. The Restart button had been set in those four grueling hours of physical and mental work.

I was ready to stop dwelling on the past and to dispose of that layer of regret, sadness, and emotional pain I had been living under for far too long.

After it ended with him, I impulsively signed up for this race, hoping that this endeavor would come as a distraction from my current emotional dilemma, through training, strengthening, and preparing. However, finals, weather, illness, and injury all got in the way of my training unfolding as meticulously as it was planned out. Despite these setbacks, I had convinced myself and bragged to so many others about this upcoming race, and I was not about to back down now.

Failure wasn't even an option.

Throughout the run, I didn't think of him at all. Not about the struggles we endured together or about the times he made me so happy. I told myself that if the run became too tough to bear, just think about the pain he caused me, and use that to channel energy into the run. But running is a positive experience, so using negative thoughts and pain to fuel my steps did not prove to be helpful.

I had to keep on doing that which I had been doing for the last five months, and that was moving forward.

He didn't belong here, in my happy place. I was going to let him be the initial motivation for my registration, but I was not going to allow him to come with me on this journey.

He was staying at the starting line while I was enjoying the ride to the finish.

The following day, I hurt so badly. Every muscle and fiber in my body ached with the memory of too many kilometers wound into them. But through this physical ache, I knew that I had done it. I had done something incredible that he, along with many others including myself, never would have thought I could do. Even though I placed 1,477 out of 4,363 athletes, I felt like a champion. I had reached the summit of this seemingly never-ending mountain of heartache; now I was coming down, and cruising with flying colors.

Days go by when I still miss the little things about him, but it occurs less and less so. I know that I will meet someone one day who won't make me cry like he did, who will value the time we have together, who won't be afraid to talk about the tough stuff and to show feelings, and who I can always count on to meet me at the finish line.

So today, I woke up with a new kind of pain. It was the raw, aching feeling of something so novel and wonderful that I haven't yet begun to fathom. I replaced my emotional pain with physical pain that will dissipate in time as I continue to stretch, grow, and train to climb higher mountains.

That's what I owe to myself. TC mark

This Is The Love I Want To Give Someone

Posted: 27 Jun 2016 01:00 PM PDT

kirillvasilevcom
kirillvasilevcom

I want to find the person who makes me feel like I found the piece of myself I never knew was missing. I want the nerves and all the good vibes associated with falling for someone new, and when I find that person I have so much love I want to give to him.

I won't be hesitant, I won't try to be someone I'm not and I won't try to impress him. I'll just be me, because if he's the right person that will be enough. Once I find that person I want to give him all the love in my heart, despite any prior heartache I've felt.

Because I want to give the right person everything I have in me, through the good and the bad.

I'll love you with all my heart and make sure you know you're the only one I care about. I'll make you feel safe and secure around me, like when we're together the world can't touch us. I'll always keep your promises and won't wager your trust. I want you to know you can always count on me to be there. I can always promise I'll be the last person you see at night and the first person you see again in the morning, as long as that's what you want.

I'll learn your favorite meals and cook them for you when you've had a long day. I'll make your morning coffee with mine and cook your eggs exactly the way you like them. I'll become an expert at cooking your favorite dessert, just like your mom does, and if I'm not an expert I'll try until I am. I'll always smile like a fool when you make me happy. And I'll always cheer you on when you're trying to accomplish something you've been working for.

I promise I'll try to learn everything about you so I can do the little things every day to show you how much I care.

I want to surprise you with little gifts because they made me think of you. I want to send you a funny YouTube clip because I know it would make you laugh. I want to leave notes around that tell you why I love you or tell you what I want to do to you.

I want to go out of my way to make you happy because your happiness is in fact my happiness.

I'll always offer you the last piece of something and kiss you good morning. I'll always let you share my food with me and tell you "I love you" even when you already know. I'll always ask you about your day and listen your response. I promise to always laugh at your jokes, even the ones that really aren't funny. I'll always try to make you laugh and pull you back in the rain to kiss me even though we’re both getting soaking wet. I promise I'll sit through your TV shows I hate and will try not to complain. I'll make you soup when you're sick and bring you medicine.

I promise the adventures will never stop and we can continue to explore for as long as we live. I’ll never tell you there is a mountain too high for us to climb. I’ll always say yes to road trips and be okay with getting lost because you claimed you knew where you were going. I’ll love you through all the ups and downs, and bumpy roads we will face.

I won't expect you to be perfect because I know you're not. I know you'll screw up, I know you'll do things that make me want to rip my hair out and I’m positive I’ll do those things to you, too. I know we will fight and struggle through hard times because that's life. But on top of all the struggles we face I promise I will always face them with you. I promise that I won't quit on you when things get hard. I promise I'll still work through things with you and won't run away from our problems. I'll face them head on with you by my side because that's the only way things will get better.

I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I promise I can be worth it because I'll always give you all the love I have in my heart and love you unconditionally. TC mark

16 Times Your Best Friend Was, Without A Doubt, Your Soulmate

Posted: 27 Jun 2016 12:00 PM PDT

Aaron Anderson
Aaron Anderson

1. When they picked you up from the airport at 6 in the morning, coffee in hand.

And at even the most ungodly of hours, as soon as you saw each other, you squealed from excitement at a decibel only dogs could hear.

2. When they made you laugh so hard, your abs were sore the next day.

Because you don’t need a gym when you’ve got a best friend.

3. When you got sucked into a Facebook debate with a stranger and your BFF “liked” every point you made.

Even if it was stupid, they stood ready and willing to back you up. They are always so unconditionally #TeamYou.

4. When someone hurt you and your best friend was ready to stab a mothaf*cker.

But ultimately decided against it because if they were in a jail cell, that would mean the end of your wine and The Bachelor nights.

5. When they cheered you up with brunch and raunchy stories.

Never doubt the power of poached eggs and dick jokes.

6. When they listened to you complain about the same ex/romantic situation over and over….and over again.

Even when you both knew the eventual outcome, they never made you feel less than. They provided an ear, or a shoulder, and let you vent and cry whenever you needed. They were your free therapist, no matter how many times you kept making the same mistake.

7. When they respected you enough to tell you the truth, even when it was uncomfortable.

Communication can be difficult in any relationship. But a soulmate is the person who works through the hard stuff with you. A soulmate is the person that doesn’t take the easy way out.

8. When you binged on Netflix and pizza together instead of going out.

Because no pants = no problem.

9. When you both got super weird and found every damn thing hysterical.

Bonus points for getting this giggle fit in the backseat of an Uber (with a very confused Uber driver trying to understand what the hell is going on).

10. When they meticulously helped you craft the PERFECT text message to send your crush.

Everything from emoji usage to period placement, they approved it all.

11. When they checked in to make sure you were okay.

Because they always know when something is wrong, and they’ll never let you struggle alone.

12. When you had an epic lip sync/dance party.

And your matching Snapchat stories could prove it.

13. When you both sat in complete silence.

And it wasn’t weird or uncomfortable. It was familiar. Like you could sit on a porch in 50 years together and be just as happy.

14. When you hated someone because they hated someone.

You know, solidarity.

15. When your family became their family.

And you remembered that blood isn’t the only indicator when it comes to who you consider part of you.

16. When they saw you at your absolute worst and stuck around.

Forget Nicholas Sparks bullshit. That right there is true love. TC mark

He Left You, But Please Don’t Let Him Destroy You

Posted: 27 Jun 2016 11:00 AM PDT

istockphoto.com / Kiuikson
istockphoto.com / Kiuikson

You were a happy person before you met the guy who broke your heart. You didn’t need anyone to save you. You didn’t need anyone to comfort you. You just needed yourself.

You were a whole person before knowing him. And you’re going to be whole again. It’s just going to take time and patience and hard work.

I know that he left you. Maybe he cheated on you. Or maybe he gave up on you. Maybe you gave up on him. But, whatever it was doesn’t even matter anymore.

What matters is how you are right now and how you are going to build yourself back up. Without him.

I know you’re screaming at the screen, asking yourself how in the world will I build myself up? This writer doesn’t know shit!  But, I do. I know what’s it like to have your heart smashed into million pieces. I know what it’s like to feel so small and like you don’t matter to anyone. I know what it’s like to love a guy so much that you forget how to love yourself. And how when he leaves, you just feel like a ghost of who you once were.

If you let this sad excuse of a man destroy you, he wins. He wins your heart and also wins your broken heart. He gets all the credit. And he will take the badge and run off again. If you let this guy win, you’ll turn into someone  you don’t even recognize. You’ll turn into that girl everyone pities. The one who can’t get out of bed anymore because her ex boyfriend left.

I was once that girl. For a minute there, I thought I had lost myself. I was so obsessed with this guy who left me, that I didn’t care about myself anymore. And that is very dangerous state of mind. So, how did I finally get out of that funk and not let him destroy me anymore?

Time. Patience. Acceptance. And ultimately forgiveness. Listen, I know you don’t think you are ever going to smile again, to laugh again, and to love another guy as much as you loved him but, in time, you will. I was right there with you a few years ago. I thought I had nothing to live for. But you do.

You need to live for you. And put yourself first please, for the first time in your life, put yourself first.

Be gentle with yourself. Tomorrow may be just as bad as today was. But slowly, month by month, you’re going to smile again. You’re going to laugh again. You’re going to fall in love again. Start thinking of yourself as a whole person instead of someone who just got destroyed. Start thinking of all the things you love about yourself. And think about all of the positive things and people that you still have in your life.

Your life is far from over. I hope you believe that. And I hope you know that this guy who tried to destroy you is not even worth a second of your time.

It’s his loss. It’s not yours. You’re going to gain yourself back. TC mark

Date Someone Who Can Ease Your Anxiety

Posted: 27 Jun 2016 10:00 AM PDT

Twenty20, NickBulanovv
Twenty20, NickBulanovv

Don’t date the guy who makes you feel bad when you want to spend an evening at home. Don’t date the guy who gets angry about how quiet you are around his friends. Don’t date the guy who makes your life any harder than it already is. Date the guy who understands that you’re a gentle soul, the guy who is capable of easing your anxiety.

Maybe you suffer from panic attacks. Maybe you have social anxiety. Maybe you’re just an average girl who overthinks anything and everything. None of that matters. If you’re with the right person, you won’t have to worry about scaring him away with your “craziness.” To him, it won’t be craziness. It’ll just be you. And he’ll be there for you, because he loves you.

You see, the right guy isn’t going to judge you when your anxiety gets the best of you. He’s not going to make an excuse to leave, because he’s feeling uncomfortable, either. He’s going to sit on the floor with you and help you steady your breathing. He’s going to hold you in his arms until you stop shaking and he’s going to let you use his sleeves to mop up the mess of tears on your face. He’s going to be there, emotionally and physically and spiritually, until you feel better again.

It doesn’t matter if your nerves ambush you when you’re on a one-on-one date or when you’re surrounded by friends. If you feel suffocated during a concert overflowing with people? He’ll escort you to the nearest exit. If you freak out during a house party? He’ll come up with an excuse, so he can bring you back home. He won’t care where you are. All he’ll care about is your safety. All he’ll care about is that the love of his life feels loved.

When you find the right guy, a guy who can ease your anxiety, you’ll never feel like a burden again. Unlike your exes, he won’t make fun of you for getting upset over such “silly little things.” He won’t get pissed off by how often you cry over seemingly nothing. He won’t blame you for ruining a fun night out with his friends. Above all, he won’t make you feel like complete shit for having feelings.

He’ll hate your anxiety, sure, but he won’t hate it because of all the trouble it causes for him. He’ll hate it, because of what it does to you. He’ll hate it, because he never wants to see your gorgeous face lined with tears or your beautiful body trembling with fear. He’ll hate it, because he loves you.

Whatever you do, never let yourself believe that your anxiety makes you unlovable. As you know from experience, some men won’t be able to handle it, but those are men you’re better off without. Trust me, there’s a guy out there who won’t give a fuck about your anxiety. No matter how many times you break down in front of him, he’ll never look at you and see some pathetic damsel. All he’ll see is his stunning girlfriend, the love of his life, his soulmate. TC mark

What It Means When I Say ‘I’ve Stopped Dating After You’

Posted: 27 Jun 2016 09:00 AM PDT

Franca Gimenez
Franca Gimenez

One day I'm going to meet someone who makes me remember what it's like to want to be serious with a person. Someone that makes all of the long nights alone or the week long relationships seem like a distant memory. If you've ever been hurt, dating someone with potential scares the shit out of you. It always comes back to your first real heartbreak.

I stopped dating seriously after you because no one is like you. I've been looking. A lot. And not one person has the same air about them. The one that literally knocked the wind out of my lungs and made me think that this was it. This is what I was waiting for.

I stopped dating seriously after you because you said you wouldn't leave and you did. You left. And you left in a way I still can't wrap my head around. It wasn't a clean break. It was slow. I could see it that you weren't you anymore. But I still didn't expect you to go.

I stopped dating seriously after you because I felt worthless. I felt like no one would ever want me. That I was ruined. I wasn't that emotionally unavailable girl you see in the romantic comedies who meets someone better and magically is able to open up again. No that hasn't happened yet. But then that would mean giving someone a chance.

I stopped dating seriously after you because you took that part of me with you. When you left, you took all of the most beautiful parts of me. The parts that believed in love; unwaveringly and wholeheartedly. You took the person who wanted nothing more in life than to love you and you crushed her. Good work.

I stopped dating seriously after you because I don't know how to do it. I don't. I know how to go to a bar, strike up a conversation, charm the hell out of them and then take them home. That part is easy. What I don't know how to do anymore is wake up in the morning without feeling regret. I don't know how to go on dates and sit awkwardly across from someone and tell them about me. I'm scared you're going to pop up in conversation and I have to tell the whole messy story again.

I stopped dating seriously after you because there isn't a point. How can I believe in love when I had it and it left me? How can I look in the mirror and not feel like an idiot for not seeing the end coming? How can I tell my friends that I've met someone who's better than you when they know that in the years since you I've been nothing but self-destructive?

I stopped dating seriously after you because I just don't want to. That's the simplest way to explain it. I just don't want to. I just don't want to get all dressed up for someone else when all I think about is laying on your couch and laughing at something that only we would. I don't want to pretend with someone else that you're not on my mind every second of every day. That you're not the first person I want to call the minute I wake up. That you're not the person I still see a future with.

I stopped dating seriously after you because I still love you.

Years have passed. Years. And I still think about every minute I spent with you. I still compare every person I've been with to you. And that's not fair. It's not fair to them. It's not fair to drag someone through the trenches for my sad attempts to get over you.

So thanks. For leaving. For completely breaking my heart. For making me feel like there's no one else out there. On the good days I truly convince myself that it'll work out. That I'll meet someone who completely erases you. And that day is going to be the greatest day of my life. TC mark