Thought Catalog


You Couldn’t Save Me From Myself, But Thank You For Trying

Posted: 03 Jun 2016 08:00 PM PDT

Drew Wilson
Drew Wilson

It's the text, "what's wrong." And you don't have a proper answer to it.
It's the phone call late at night as you hold back tears.
It's standing in a crowded bar and you're overcome with this wave of loneliness so you reach for another drink, trying to feel better.
It's being on your knees in a bathroom stall as tears stream down your face because of the many things you can't control in life: what you eat, how much and how to get rid of it is something you can.
It's the over thinking and anxiety that keeps you tossing and turning.
It's looking around at others and thinking why can't I be normal for one minute.
It's looking at your reflection and wishing you saw someone worthwhile looking back at you. Wishing you could love yourself the way others do.
But you wipe your tears. Go to sleep if you can. Then you begin another day and those moments just become another in the long stream of battles no one but your close friends know you fight.


Dear Friends,

I look at you all and see guardian angels in each of you. I don't mean to be a burden and I don't like when you worry but on those really bad days, it's you that saves me. Some days are good. In fact, most days are good. To anyone on the outside I am the happiest person. I joke and I smile and I can have the whole room laughing with my one liners. But that's the side I want the world to see.

I don't want them to know me the way you do. I don't want them to see the version of myself where black makeup runs long down my face and I fall to my knees in a scream. I don't want them to see the person who cries themselves to sleep. I don't want them to hear the voice inside my own head that says “I hate you and your worthless.” I don't want them to know the side of me that worries until I'm sick. I don't want them to know the version of me who throws themselves at every guy and wakes up not even knowing his name.

We all have parts of ourselves we keep hidden from the world around us. We build up these walls keeping the bad parts of ourselves in the confine of these sturdy walls. We don't want them to get out. But every once in a while you come across someone or a few people who choose to enter. You reject them at first pushing them away because the only thing worse than letting someone in is letting someone in and watching them leave because they can't handle it. You've become a burden messing up the peace in their life. That's the worst feeling ever.

But every once in a while you find someone who stays. You find someone who understands you aren't this monster you so believe you are. Every once in a while you find someone who brings out a light in you and says none of us are perfect. But I love you, anyway.

I thank you for loving me. I thank you for standing by me. But most of all I thank you for saving me every day from the demons that dance in my mind. Thank you for saving me from myself.

I hope one day I can love myself the way you love me. But more than that I hope I can find someone who loves me the way you do.

They say you gotta love yourself before anyone else can but I think the only thing you have to do is hang onto to the people who love you and if you can, love them so deeply they feel it too. Love them so much that maybe they can teach you to love yourself the way you deserve. TC mark

For All The Girls Who Wonder What Could’ve Been

Posted: 03 Jun 2016 07:01 PM PDT

Drew Wilson
Drew Wilson

When you find yourself alone and thinking about the past, about why he left you, why he hurt you, or what changed that caused things to end, don’t ask yourself what could’ve been, think about what is, and what could be.

Don’t question whether the wrong person was right for you, whether you made a mistake and so did he, believe that if he wanted to be in your life, he would be. Don’t look back and see everything that you lost. Instead think of everything that you gained. Think of what the past has taught you and use it to move forward. Use it to let go.

When you find yourself in a room full of people, family, friends, don’t think about how different it would be if he was with you, love the people you surround yourself with, and realize that these are the people who matter. And then realize that he doesn’t.

Don’t think about what he’s doing at this moment when you’re apart. Think about how you’re strong enough to be without him. Think about how you’re finally freed from the grip that held you back, and do not let his absence hold you back even further. Allow his absence to provoke everything in you that will help you to begin again. Allow it to initiate something new, not necessarily with someone, but with yourself. Learn things about yourself that you never thought you could. Explore, and be present when you do.

Don’t continue to think of what could’ve been because you’ll postpone the ability to be happy with yourself. Remember what happiness was like before him, because you have experienced happiness when he wasn’t there, and you can continue to experience it now that he’s gone. Remember that you were someone before you met him, and realize that you’ve grown into the person you are now.

Remember who you are. Remember who you want to be. And when you are finally able to remember who that person is, share it with the world, share it with someone who won’t make you wonder what could’ve been, but will make you content with what is. TC mark

I Hope You’re Happy

Posted: 03 Jun 2016 07:00 PM PDT

neoklik
neoklik

They say when you tell someone that left you hurting,
"I hope you're happy," that's a lie.

In truth, we don't want them to be happy, not without us.
But here's the thing – I hope you're happy.
From a place that is hard to reach,
Where the ego does not exist,
Where all is left are fond memories,
The place where it doesn't matter what was said,
And what was not.

Where heart break has been forgiven,
A special place they call,
"The bottom of your heart.”
Where the truth is hidden,
Where humanity lies,
Where gratitude guides,
I hope you're happy.
I hope you are. TC mark

Why Prioritizing A Relationship In Your 20s Is The Worst Decision You Can Make

Posted: 03 Jun 2016 05:00 PM PDT

Drew Wilson
Drew Wilson

I am a firm believer that your twenties are absolutely not the time to prioritize being in a relationship.

Actually, I am a firm believer that there is never a time to prioritize being in a relationship, but that belief is less firm and more personally tailored. There is a stigma attached to purposefully single young women that simplifies a complex state of mind. Women who choose not to seriously date or attach themselves to a partner on a long­term basis are labelled as independent, powerful, cynical and callous. A stereotypical understanding of any of these adjectives is harmful, including the positive characteristics.

Power and independence are not exclusive to unattached women. My mom is easily one of the strongest and most influential women I have ever encountered, and she unquestionably believes that she was put on this earth to be a mother. Family is her number one priority, and she has been a wife and a mother for many years. The challenges she has endured in raising a family are no less back­breaking and spectacular than the challenges an unmarried, career­oriented businesswoman faces as she pursues her unique goals.

As a woman just entering the realm of twenty­-something, 'powerful' and 'independent' are certainly some of my favorite compliments ­ but I want to bear these accolades for the right reasons. There is a distinct problem with describing women by how they exist in relation to a partner, particularly in relation to a man. If I am merely 'powerful' because I am not in a committed relationship with another person, that is false power.

Power is personal. Power is passion, ambition, compassion, empathy. Power is a desire to learn, a desire to persevere in the face of adversity.

I need love and connection just as much as my more monogamous peers, and therein lies the crossroads of love and dating. I refuse to prioritize dating while I'm in my twenties. That being said, I am committed to prioritizing love.

Love is not necessarily a steady boyfriend. Love is platonic, romantic, and familial. Love is like fingerprints ­ no two loves are alike. The love I will prioritize in my twenties is remembering to call my parents as often as I can. It is telling my friends what I find special about them on a regular basis. It is dedicating my time to people who make me think, and who challenge what I know about myself and the world around me. Love can be art, sex, fresh air, cuddling or travel.

Your twenties are not the time to make big decisions based off of anyone but yourself. I've been told that it's the time to be selfish ­ but I don't see it as selfishness. It is making a commitment, first and foremost, to yourself. Those that you love, and who love you back, will understand. TC mark

I Once Thought I Was Lucky To Be With You – Now I Know I’m Lucky To Have Left

Posted: 03 Jun 2016 04:00 PM PDT

 tiffanythere
tiffanythere

I want you to know that this isn't a love letter. I don't want you to think that this gives you any power over me. I want you to read this and walk away thinking only of how lucky I am to have made it out alive.

You met me when I was so young; I was barely a person of my own accord. I often think back to this particular moment I remember, a time shortly before we first spoke. This is my "square one," the starting point where it all could have gone so differently. If I hadn't met you, who would I be now?

You took me and turned me into someone I can't now fathom. What was once an untarnished block of clay became your personal project, molding me to your pleasure.

I was young and naive, thinking that life wouldn't be so bad with someone in my corner. I didn't understand that I was in your corner, and it was your ring too.

You made me believe that someone else could decide my worth. You convinced me that you were all I had. When you made me feel lower than ever before, all I could do was wait for you to bring me back up. The entirety of my existence was shaped to surround you; your fragile ego, your desire for control. I sat awake on hard nights, telling myself that love isn't easy and that I was lucky I had you. I told myself that I was lucky. Lucky.

I lived this way for years, acting as your shadow. I developed a sense of self that required a counterpart. I reduced myself to give you more room to shine, feeling smaller and smaller each time I fed into your never-ending need for companionship. As trite as it sounds, I felt like a wild mustang that had been broken. I felt numb to my own desires.

During those years, I was selfless to a fault. Yet that same selflessness was what finally saved me. The lines had blurred between your emotional and physical abuse, leaving me pained in either case. But once my body held host to two souls, my allegiance was shifted. Your words were my world but my body was hers. A punch would leave me bruised and sore, but it would be life threatening for her.

The spell had been broken. Having once been the object of my affection, you were now my enemy, posing a threat to my greatest treasure. All the feelings of fear that silenced me before returned as feelings of anger. You had never seen who I could become and you felt threatened, I could tell.

Even if you've forgotten everything else, I know you'll never forget the day I left.

You had hurt me over and over again just to keep me by your side, and you couldn't accept that I was through. Feeling so terrified, so threatened, you acted out of desperation alone that day, doing the only thing you felt would keep me from leaving. In that moment, what you lacked in logic, you made up for in force.

It's been years now, and I've come so far. All the hospital trips, restraining orders, therapy sessions, and tearful family reunions couldn't undo what happened, but they helped in other ways. I live a happy life now. I have learned about myself, becoming a person of my own right. I lead my life with confidence, having developed wisdom beyond my years. I don't confuse pain with love and I don't let anyone tell me who I am.

Most importantly, I don't see myself as broken. I don't live each day in the shadow of what I've gone through. On my darkest days, I look in the mirror and realize now what lucky looks like. On those days, I think for only a second about could have been. I don't waste my time hating you or debating if I ever loved you. At the very most, I thank you for teaching me what it means to be a strong person with love for myself.TC mark

10 Excuses We Tell Ourselves When We Are In Unhappy Relationships

Posted: 03 Jun 2016 03:00 PM PDT

contento
contento

Sometimes we make up excuses so that we can put off making difficult decisions.

This is often the case in unhealthy, unhappy relationships. One person knows that their partner causes them hurt and upset, but they can't handle the idea of breaking up. They are scared of making such a big change to their lifestyles, so instead of leaving they justify and rationalize their partner's behaviour.

However, staying in a bad relationship is unfair on both you and your partner. Here are 10 of the most common excuses we tell ourselves when we are in bad relationships.

1. "If I put even more effort into this relationship, it will get better." It can be difficult to leave someone who you once made happy. It can feel like with just a little more effort, you can improve the relationship and get back to the honeymoon period. However, if the current you isn't enough, do you really want to pretend to be someone else?

Respect yourself and don't let yourself become a doormat for your partner. The main priority is to do what is best for you – will you be happy if you have to put in even more effort than you already are?

2. "But my partner needs me." If a relationship is unhappy and strained but your partner still feels like they 'need' you, they may have unhealthy dependency issues.

Often people in negative relationships prioritize their partner's feelings above their own, which means their own happiness comes in at second place. It is also worth noting that toxic people and sociopaths often make people feel like they 'need' them, but they can quickly replace them when they choose to finally leave.

3. "I've invested too much time into this relationship to leave." Maybe you two have been together since you were 15, and you have both invested a lot of time into the relationship. Remember that you've learned a lot in this time; not just how to make each other happy, but also how to hurt and upset each other.

If someone regularly upsets you, it doesn't matter how long they have known you – they no longer have your best interests at heart.

4. "I'd rather be with them than be single." Some of us are so used to being in a relationship that we will put up with terrible behaviour to avoid being single. Often people in unhealthy relationships associate being single with being lonely and unhappy – and they don't realize that that is exactly how they feel.

Being single may seem scary, but you get to put yourself first again – and that is an exciting prospect.

5. "Despite everything, I really love them." Despite all of the horrible things your partner has said and done to you, you still love them. You can't help this – no-one can choose to just fall out of love with someone. However, it is important to be realistic about who they are as a person. Maybe you loved who they were once, but if you met them for the first time today, would you fall in love with them again?

6. "It is normal to have conflict in a relationship." Conflict is a normal part of healthy relationships, but only if it is handled well and resolved. Name-calling and playing blame games isn't healthy conflict – it is cruel and intentionally hurtful, and it indicates feelings of bitterness rather than love.

7. "We share a home together." Since you and your partner moved in together you have noticed that the relationship is getting worse. It may not be linked to the fact that you live together, but now you are worried about ending the relationship as you share a home.

If you can relate to this, speak to your landlord about the situation. Maybe one partner can move out and the rent will be reduced, or maybe one partner will sleep in the share room. It may be a difficult and painful time – but remember that your relationship is already painful and difficult.

8. "I hate the idea of hurting them." No-one wants to hurt someone's feelings – especially someone who you love (or loved.) However, it is more hurtful for you to stay with someone who is unhappy in the relationship. You are doing your partner and yourself a favour by leaving – the initial hurt will fade and you will both be happier.

9. "A big event is coming up – I can't break up with them until afterwards." Many people use excuses like birthdays and Christmas as a reason to put off ending a relationship. However it is likely that your partner would prefer to know your true feelings, rather than being strung along.

10. "What if the next relationship is just as bad?" There are lots of different types of people in the world – your next relationship could be worse than this one, or you could meet your soulmate. If you live your life worrying about the worst case scenarios, you will hold yourself back. Take chances and you will find happiness. Good luck! TC mark

50 Good Reasons To Date The Girl Who Loves To Eat

Posted: 03 Jun 2016 02:00 PM PDT

Ali Inay

1. You'll never have to worry about ordering your favorite dinner plate on the first date because chances are she isn't going to order a salad, so eat up.

2. You will always have someone to get frozen yogurt with in the winter.

3. She knows how to take care of herself; as much as she loves to eat she also understands the importance of a healthy balance between junk food and health food.

4. You'll never have to worry about eating alone.

5. You'll actually never have to wonder if she's hungry or not because the answer is always yes.

6. She is a pro at cooking dips, chicken wing dip (or buffalo chicken dip if you're one of those people), spinach artichoke dip, taco dip, you name it.

7. She's just more fun. She isn't obsessing over calories and ingredients, she's down for a burger and to kick it for the day.

8. You don't have to worry about what she does and doesn't like because she can always find something on the menu.

9. She might even broaden your food horizon of different foods she's tried from all over the world.

10. She knows the best places to eat and the best deals.

11. She also probably knows the workers at some of the restaurants she goes to a lot so that means special treatment for you!

12. Just because she loves food doesn't mean she eats shit food all day, she will help you eat healthier because healthy food is important.

13. You'll never be hungry in her house because running out of food is the worst thing that could happen in her household, besides maybe running out of TP, but that's a different topic.

14. She knows how to cook and will cook you up some tasty dinners.

15. You can also expect some banging breakfast and lunches.

16. You never have to worry about eating too much in front of her because she gets how enjoyable food is.

17. She doesn't need fancy over priced restaurants, she'd rather go to an In-N-Out type of place if the food is better there.

18. She's usually always in a good mood because food makes people happy.

19. And if she's in a bad mood, give her food to make her happy, it will instantly change her mood.

20. You'll always have someone to split your giant desserts with after dinner.

21. She's definitely down to go get pizza and wings and watch the game.

22. She's also down to go to food and beer pairings.

23. Or food and wine pairings, basically any type of activity that is paired with food she's in for.

24. She will make you try healthy alternatives that you otherwise probably wouldn't try. And probably won’t tell you until after so you don't realize there was kale in the smoothie.

25. You can never order too many appetizers between the two of you.

26. Happy hour is her favorite hour for food and drinks.

27. Most of your dates involve food, which is awesome.

28. She doesn't need flowers, they're very expensive and she would rather have something she can eat like chocolate covered strawberries because they’re amazing (hit me up boys).

29. Buffets are perfect for her because you know you'll always get your moneys worth.

30. If your hungry she probably has a snack on her, I mean really why do you think girl's purses are so big?

31. She will always be planning new dates that revolve around food, like a cooking class or a food tasting.

32. She will love to go downtown to eat lunch at food trucks, cheap and easy.

33. If you go on vacation she will always find the best places for you to go eat so you get to enjoy the culture and the food.

34. She will respect your plate enough not to eat off of it, unless you offer of course.

35. A girl who eats knows what she likes, in whatever context you want to take that in.

36. If you ever get bored or don't know what to do, eating is always an option.

37. She will make a lot of experimental meals and you get to test them all.

38. She is the type of person who likes to bring people together because that is exactly what food does.

39. She loves going on ice cream dates when it's hot out.

40. She's confident. She knows herself and she is comfortable with herself and her choices.

41. You know you will always get your moneys worth when you go out to eat because even if she doesn't eat all her food at dinner (which in unlikely) she will gladly bring the leftovers home for lunch the next day.

42. She will make a great apple crisp in the fall because who doesn't love celebrating the seasons and apple picking?

43. She will let you take control in the kitchen and 'wow' her with your favorite dish to make. Even if it doesn't come out great she will still shower you with compliments for your efforts.

44. You have an automatic gym buddy because she knows she needs to work out hard if she wants to maintain her love for food and her health.

45. Just because she loves food doesn't mean she's a food snob, sometimes you can find delicious foods in the most bizarre places and she's open to trying everything.

46. She is always down for brunch (and mimosas).

47. She will find the way to your heart through your stomach, but her in love with life attitude will also be a bonus.

48. She won't always expect you to pay for her food, in fact she will probably pay for your meals too because she knows how expensive going out to eat frequently will be.

49. She will always want to go to farmers markets and festivals, it will be fun to get out and experience something but it also gives her an opportunity to check out fresh local produce and treats. Win win for the both of you because she will be happy and probably cook up something delicious after.

50. Date the girl who loves to eat because she's a hell of a time to be around and eating is awesome. TC mark

10 Ways A Woman Will Heal, According To Proverbs 31

Posted: 03 Jun 2016 01:00 PM PDT

Mitya Ku
Mitya Ku

I was in so much pain after an unexpected betrayal. The pain felt unbearable. The pain stings.

There were times when I thought that the pain already took its toll on me. But then, I realized that I am still in a fallen world and while I am are here, I will experience being wounded.

For some people, healing comes longer, healing is really very hard and healing will never be a straight road. That's what happened to me. But I told myself that it's okay. I am human, I am allowed to feel, I am allowed to fail, I am allowed to cry and I am allowed to take my time to heal.

One day as I was having my devotion, I came to this passage in the Bible about the "Proverbs 31 Woman." It reminded me that I am worth far more than jewels. The Proverbs 31 woman is the kind of woman who loves people to their very bones; she loves like Jesus. People will hurt her but she doesn't take revenge; this amazing woman sees things differently. She is precious in God's eyes, and He told her that spending time being wretched is not His will.

A Proverbs 31 woman forgives, she loves truly, and she sees the best in people and though treated badly, she will still want the best for them.

She is selective – she picks and chooses her battles and she doesn't wish bad on anyone. The enemy will always command her to be miserable, but she continues to fight and run her race.

Are you a Proverbs 31 woman? I bet God wants all of us to heal and leave our baggage to Him. And this is how you can do that:

1. Focus on bettering yourself, achieving your dreams and looking to the One who takes away all pains.

2. See the beauty of God in little things.

3. Remember that you are not there to find your other half. Because you're not a half.

4. Remind yourself that being whole is all about killing that part of yourself that says it can't survive without a man.

5. Believe that what's meant for you will come. God gives new hope. God restores. God is a God of new beginnings.

6. Be that someone who still carries hope in her heart, who changes, who learns, who matures, who loves God more than anyone. A woman who has kindness in her heart and generosity in her fingertips.

7. Believe that God reserves someone for you, who knows how to love you when you are full of joy, who loves you when you are sad and who will love, only you.

8. Remember that He has a bright future ahead for you, don't depend on your past or present, but only depend on His love.

9. Be patient. Pray.

10.
Trust Him. TC mark

Friendly Reminder: You’re Too Good To Compromise On This

Posted: 03 Jun 2016 12:00 PM PDT

Drew Wilson
Drew Wilson

Don't be with someone whose affection you have to fight for. Fight for other things. Fight to stay together, even when distance pulls you in other directions. Fight for your family to like them. Fight to show them how much you care, even after a hard week. Fight to love them in the smallest moments.

But don’t fight to make them love you. Don’t push to make them fight for you. Don’t be okay with someone who will commit, but not fully. Don’t fight for someone who will love with boundaries, instead of with their whole heart. Don’t make excuses for someone who makes excuses. Don't be with the person who makes you compete for their attention.

You shouldn't have to convince someone to want you.

You shouldn't have to settle for "almost" when you want a "yes." You shouldn't have to be all-in, when someone else is still on the fence. You don't want to be stuck in love-adjacent limbo when you could have the real thing.

Your person is going to be your number one. So don’t ever be someone’s number two. Don’t be the plans they’ll make if other plans fall through. That isn’t a compromise. That is someone treating you than less than you are. That is someone who doesn’t deserve you.

It's too easy to forget this, especially when you feel like being someone's alternate, someone's almost, someone's half-hearted swipe is the norm. It's easy to forget that there are people who want to be with you, and only you, instead of playing with the endless reel of options. But that is not a reason to compromise. And you deserve to know that you are worth so much more than that.

Don’t fight for someone who makes you question yourself. If they make you wait for a response because they want to keep you guessing, let them play games on someone else's time. If they are with you until they find someone else, let them go, and just know that they won’t find someone to be their "in between" love. If they are with you because someone else didn’t want to take them back, don’t be their first alternate.

Don’t be with the person who responds only when they feel like it, and doesn’t feel like it very often. There are people out there who are waiting to call you back, waiting to respond to your last text, waiting to choose you over someone else, waiting on other plans to see if you’re available, and waiting to make you their number one. So don’t compromise and tolerate something less.

You are no one's "maybe." You are no one's second choice, and no one's fall back. You are no one's safe bet, or convenience pick.

You're someone's plan A — remember that. You are someone's definitive "yes." You are someone's catch, but not someone who is just on the hook. You are someone's be all and end all, instead of their one of many. TC mark

The Unedited Truth About Whether He Really Likes You, Based On His Zodiac Sign

Posted: 03 Jun 2016 11:00 AM PDT

katiekhromova
katiekhromova

Aries

(March 21st to April 19th)

If an Aries guy really cares about you, he’ll pause to consider your comfort zone. Typically super independent, they rush into an adventure or a challenge with a “you snooze, you lose” type attitude. But when an Aries cares about someone, they make room for them and plan around the fact that just about everyone on Earth is slightly more cautious than they are. You’ll be included in event planning and they’ll check in with you throughout whatever you’re doing to make sure you’re comfortable.

Taurus

(April 20th to May 21st)

There are a lot of ways to tell a Taurus doesn’t love you — they’re very judicious about how they spend what little affection they are willing to give. If they open up to you and let themselves be vulnerable when they don’t have to, that’s how you know a Taurus really likes you. They’ll make plans with you, invite you into their precious home space, and treat you like you’re inner circle.

Gemini

(May 22nd to June 21st)

If a Gemini guy really likes you, he’ll stick around through a long period of time. Geminis have tons of passion, but it tends to come at the expense of focus. It takes a big hook to keep them interested in the same thing week after week when there are so many other bright shiny objects to chase after. If it’s been months and he’s still consistent in the attention he gives you, that’s when you know a Gemini guy has it for you.

Cancer

(June 22nd to July 22nd)

Cancers tend to be very loving and nurturing toward lots of people, so you have to figure out if they are showing you a special kind of attention. For Cancers, this tends to involve letting you into the very center of their being: their home. They’ll take you to meet their family, try to make your home more comfortable and inviting for you both, and cook for you.

Leo

(July 23rd to August 22nd)

Leos love praise and attention from everyone, so it isn’t necessarily special if they preen or perform for you. Special is in the way they go about it. Do they just want you to think they’re attractive? Or do they want you to praise them on their ability to keep a nice home, their relationships with their family, or anything else that screams long term material? If they really like you, they’ll want the right kind of attention from you.

Virgo

(August 23rd to September 22nd)

Virgos are the best at upgrading everyday life. They know the little hacks to make their own lives run seamlessly so they can enjoy success and leisure. If a Virgo likes you, they’ll turn this trait onto you. All of a sudden they’re helping you automate your bills and signing you up for a CSA box. They make a genuine effort to upgrade your life.

Libra

(September 23rd to October 22nd)

Libras have amazing social skills so its easy to feel like they’re interested in you. But beware, more than any other sign Libras plant false flags where they aren’t really interested. They just want people to feel good! What separates out the people a Libra is really interested in is that they’re willing to go through a conflict with you. Libras hate conflict, but they’re smart enough to know its necessary in any healthy relationship, so if they bring up some uncomfortable truths and try to sort them out with you, its real.

Scorpio

(October 23rd to November 22nd)

More than any other sign the old adage is true: if he likes you, you’ll know he likes you. Scorpios aren’t shy or reserved, they believe in taking a risk and making a stand. If you want to know you’re not just another notch in their bedpost, wait for them to be a little bit selfless. This is the last thing a Scorpio wants to do, it comes very unnaturally for them — but that’s how you know you mean a lot to them.

Sagittarius

(November 23rd to December 21st)

Sagittarians will flirt with anyone for the fun of it. They are hunters and they love the chase. You’ll know you’re special when they drop the pretense of the chase: they talk about the future with you, they’re unafraid of an Instagram pic that looks like a #coupleselfie, they show up for the events that aren’t necessarily fun for them.

Capricorn

(December 22nd to January 20th)

They’ll do something sweet. Capricorns are zero percent sentimental by nature, so if they are doing something sappy, they truly believe in the cause. Bonus points if this plan involves them being less than the put-together perfect facade-bot they like to portray.

Aquarius

(January 21st to February 18th)

While Aquarians love to understand the emotions of others, they are slow to express their own. They’ll ask deep questions of anyone and everyone — but they’ll only answer for those they deem worthy. When one has real feelings for you, he will show you the things that are important to his heart. He’ll be vulnerable, he’ll communicate — you’ll feel like there’s no barrier between the two of you. For this guy, being on the same philosophic page is extremely important. Your conversations will be deep and probing.

Pisces

(February 19th to March 20th)

You’ll be their muse. Pisces are a deeply creative sign. Whatever your man’s craft is, you’ll be at the center of it. It may not be as literal as his writing love poems about you — maybe he names a batch of his homebrew after you. But with this man, know that his art (whatever form it takes) will always belie where his heart is. TC mark