Thought Catalog


Naked And Ashamed: 50 People Confess The Most Embarrassing Thing That Ever Happened To Them During Sex

Posted: 12 Jul 2016 08:15 PM PDT

Illustration by Daniella Urdinlaiz.
Illustration by Daniella Urdinlaiz.
Found on AskReddit.

1. I lost a dildo in my wife’s ass.

"Lost a dildo in my wife’s ass. Thought it was a butt plug, but I guess it was too narrow, and it got lost up there. Had to have surgery to get it out."


2. I set my own hair on fire lighting candles for ambience.

"Lined the room with candles for ambience. Set my own hair on fire during the act."


3. Don’t yell “Daddy” while your dad’s in the house.

"This one girl I started hooking up with liked to call me daddy during sex. Well the one time we had had sex in her house she started to call me daddy as usual. Her dad hears her though and runs up the stairs, knocks on her door, and tries to come in an ask if everything was all right. Thankfully the door was locked but she said yeah, no, everything is OK. Never again did I have sex in her house with her parents home."


4. His jagged fingernails scraped my insides so hard, I needed stitches.

"Oh Jesus OK, so me and my S/O were still virgins trying things out. He decided to finger me, bit his nails beforehand and scraped my insides so hard. He thought he broke my hymen but in reality I needed to go to the hospital. Ended up having to get stitches."


5. Giving cunnilingus after anal is a shitty, sticky mess.

"Learn from my fail: Giving cunnilingus before anal is great! Giving cunnilingus after anal is a shitty, sticky mess."


6. I accidentally punched myself in the nuts.

"Banging in the backseat of a car, she was sitting on top facing me. Went to give her a big ole ass-smack and missed. Landed my palm right on my nut sack harder than I've ever hit myself in the nuts before. Took a minute to cry and then continued banging."


7. Her puppy started playing with my swinging balls.

"I was getting it on with this girl on her living room floor. Apparently swinging balls look like something fun to play with if you’re a puppy…"


8. I accidentally lubed my dick with hand sanitizer.

"Ex-girlfriend had two nightstands on either side of her bed. We kept a small bottle of lube on one all the time. One week when I came over I was doing my thing , impaling her with all my strength. I decided to lube up, so I do my normal routine and grab the lube off the nightstand. 'OHHHH shit fuck shit!' I yelled at the top of my lungs. I turn the lights on and notice she had a small bottle of hand sanitizer next to the lube. A healthy dose of hand sanitizer on your manhood stings very much. We had a good laugh and decided to take a break and try again later on. Later on that night , I managed to grab the hand sani again haha…"


9. I tried to cum on her but pissed on her instead.

"For a little while in my early 20’s, I took Paxil. One side effect was that it was very difficult to cum. We’d be going for so long, to the point where my wife would tell me to wrap it up or stop because she was getting raw. Well one time, we’re going at it, and I felt that I was close. Told her I was close, and she said to pull out and finish on her stomach. So once I was just there, I pull out, only to piss all over her. After the initial shock of just receiving a golden shower, she just started laughing. Somewhat surprising, she still lets me do things to her with my penis."


10. Her Pomeranian dropped my used rubber at her dad’s feet.

"My GF and I had just recently started having sex so we’re using condoms regularly… One of our first times doing it, I got off right away…RIGHT AWAY…Well, I didn’t want her to know I had finished so quickly so I tried to be a hero and just limp-dick it until it got hard again. So I’m trying like hell to finish this off with a halfy and after we finish I look down and the condom is gone… Of course it is. I didn’t say anything because I was too shy and figured it would work itself out naturally. Not 10 minutes later I hear her dad, from downstairs, yell 'What the hell!?'…As their Pomeranian dropped my used rubber at his feet as if it was a prized possession."


11. Girlfriend’s dog licked my asshole immediately after I started cumming.

"Girlfriend’s dog licked my asshole immediately after I started cumming."


12. She projectile-farted a corn kernel to the back of his throat.

"Not me but an acquaintance:
Nerdy guy in college never had a sexual experience beyond the palm of his hand. Went to a big ol’ party kegger at a co-op where a similar and equally nerdy girl with a similar track record.

Well, hosts at the party picked up on it and granted them both a quiet room on an upper level off limits to the main party. Condoms and lube were provided and after about 5 minutes a few of us snuck/sneaked up to the landing on the steps beside the room.

After about 10 minutes of us beaming proudly and holding back from listening in on the door, the door flew open and out came our nerdy guy running like hell, half naked and covered in something. He made it to the bathroom and proceeded to puke and gag and took off for the dorms.

Female friends of the nerdy girl entered the room and that was that until the next morning.

Nerdy guy, who is probably still traumatized from this experience, explained what occurred: He went down on nerdy girl as a gentleman does when one knows he won’t last more than what is a laughable increment of time. While down, between nerdy girl's thighs, she shifted to a more comfortable position and let loose a fart, a fart so impactful that it shot a lone kernel of corn out of her shooter and through his puckered lips and smack into the middle back of his throat. She then threw up on him and he threw up on/in her lap."


13. A frenulum-snapping bloodbath.

"I snapped my frenulum, filled my girlfriend with blood, then sprayed blood everywhere while yelling in pain. Then spent 5 hours at the hospital with her sitting next too me and 8 nurses constantly switching out to look at my dick to see an injury they haven't before. Super-embarrassing."


14. She emailed me a ton of articles on how to properly go down on a woman.

"Years ago I went out with this woman for a couple of weeks. The sex was pretty OK but one night I was going down on her for a long, long time. She was making a lot of noise and I thought that just meant she was enjoying it so I kept going.

The next day she called me up to let me know I focused way too much on her clitoris and it was all swollen and painful. She then asked for my email address and sent me a ton of articles on how to properly go down on a woman.

After that I just really wasn’t able to do it at all. We stopped seeing each other very shortly after that."


15. Her mom and sister walked in on us while we were 69ing on the couch.

"She tells me to cum on her face.

My aim was slightly off, so I cum all over her headboard and the pillow and the dribble hits her amazing white satin sheets.

We spent 30 minutes cleaning up the mess.

Another time, not me, but we were going at it furiously, aaaand she queefs. Now it’s not a big deal for me, but she has always had a thing with bodily noises (won’t even let me in the loo even she is peeing or even brushing her teeth), so she was embarrassed as fuck. Still is I guess as she brings it up on occasion.

Another time, we hadn’t locked the door, 69’ing on the couch….and her mom and sister walk in on us…now that was truly embarrassing."


16. His foreskin caught in my braces.

"His foreskin caught in my braces."


17. She sharted all over my balls.

"Eating my then girlfriend out, she farts. Another time, a different girlfriend, she is riding me and sharts all over my balls. A woman I lived with loved anal, we were going at it, I pull out to switch positions and a turd chased my cock out."


18. I yanked out her anal beads like I was starting a lawnmower.

"Was doing butt stuff with an ex GF. It was my first time using anal beads and had no idea what I was doing.

Once I had shoved all the beads up there she told me to pull them out and being the nervous inexperienced guy that I was I ended up yanking them out like I was starting a lawnmower.

She screamed and jumped so hard I thought she was going to hit the ceiling and ended up leaving a major fecal disaster all over my bed. Seriously massive amounts of lube-infused poo-covered me and my bed and carpet.

She waddled over to the restroom clenching her newly prolapsed anus and I awkwardly tried to console her painful sobbing from the other side of the door for almost an hour.

We didn’t stay together long after that."


19. Nothing kills a boner quicker than a cold wet dog snout on your sphincter.

"My girlfriend and I were having the sexy time when my dog decided to see what all the fuss was about. Nothing kills a boner quicker than a cold wet snout on your sphincter. At least she found it funny."


20. I got worms from giving a girl a rimjob.

"Not an immediate effect, but I was dating a girl who had just about the prettiest buttonhole in the world. I was going down on her one day and I decided to throw my tongue into her bum and she loved it. I didn’t mind one bit. Things proceeded as they do, and life went on.

Fast-forward a few months. I had had a couple bouts of crippling gastrointestinal issues, sort of intermittently. Awful diarrhea for a few days at a time, every 3-5 weeks or so. Couldn’t figure it out. Nothing seemed to help. I hit the bathroom and after I flushed and washed my hands, I checked to see if I needed to flush again. To my horror, there was a single tiny worm in the toilet.

Turns out my stomach problems were a result of giving this girl a rimjob. She had the same thing, but also didn’t know what it was. I took some deworming meds and felt like I was dying inside for a couple days. I dropped turds that looked like they had the beard of Zeus, because when worms die in you they turn a ghostly greyish white."


21. She asked him to spit on her, so he did.

"My buddy was with a girl that was more experienced than him. Mid-coitus she got a little dry and told him to spit on her. He, not knowing what she meant but trying to oblige her, hocked a fat loogie and spit it on her chest."


22. I shot my own cum into my eyes.

"Girl was on top of me, she got off me right as I was about to cum, the cum shoots out and lands right between my eyes. Gave myself a facial."


23. What the fuck did you just say????

"I had been dating this girl who loved derogatory dirty talk. She always wanted me to call her a slut, etc., during the action. We dated for years, it basically became part of my routine. First partner afterwards:

'Yeah, you’re daddy’s little slut!'

'What the fuck did you just say????'"


24. Each pump of jizz released a fart of differing notes.

"First time sleeping with a girl I had pursued for ages. Farted at point of climax. I had no ability to stop. Each pump of jizz released a fart of differing notes. They stunk, too."


25. My calves cramped while she was riding me on top.

"She was on top and riding like a champ. When I came, my toes curled and everything in my body flexed and I must have been dehydrated because both of my calves cramped like crazy. I yelled and had to get her to roll off of me. I walked with a limp for a couple days because they cramped so bad."


26. The ‘taint’ of laughter.

"My ex was really into ass play and I’m pretty experimental by nature so I figured I would indulge her fantasy. We go out to an adult toy store and get an anal vibrator then proceed home for sexy time. As we’re fooling around she starts to play with my taint and is really enjoying it; I’m desperately trying to not laugh because it tickled. The sexy times continue and she proceeds to pull out the vibrator and begins to lube it up as she performs fellatio. The moment of truth arrives and she slowly begins to slide the vibrator into my ass until the entire toy has set up camp next to my prostate. She flips the switch, not realizing it is set to high. I immediately throw my face into my pillow to stifle the laughter I’m experiencing which is only made worse by her repeated use of the phrase 'You like that??' She yanks away the pillow to look lustfully into my eyes only to find me laughing like a fucking mad man with tears streaming down my face, completely ruining her fetish forever."


27. Yep. That was a fart. Didn’t even need to taste it to know.

"Was 69’ing a girl, and she readjusted so her anus was on my mouth instead. She had recently showered, and hairless, so I had no reason to object. Here we go giving my first ever rimjob. She gets pretty into it. Stopped going down on me because she couldn’t keep it together. Then, out of nowhere…

Pffft.

Yep. That was a fart. Didn’t even need to taste it to know. She immediately catapulted off of me and rolled to the other side of the bed. So horrified and embarrassed that she started crying, and trying to apologize through the tears. Me? I thought it was fucking hilarious. I couldn’t stop laughing, but I’m sure that didn’t help with her crying at all. She just lost control of herself on the edge of an orgasm was all, can’t blame her. She calmed down after about 5 minutes and we restarted the action. No more tongue-punching the fart-box, though. At least not that day."


28. I came on her face and she slapped me.

"I pulled out, hastily flung the condom off my member, and came on her face. I hadn’t had much sex experience, but since it was common in porn, I just thought that’s what you were supposed to do. Afterwards, I got slapped, and that girl still hasn’t talked to me since that day."


29. Her ass cheeks fell on my dumb drunk face and knocked me out cold.

"Met up with this girl from POF at a Hooter’s. We had done the deed a few times, but not enough to break the slight awkwardness of touchin’ bits. Stayed there for a while drinking fairly heavily, and then she invited me back to a house she was watching. Turns out it was her grandparents' house, confirmed by the stanky musk of antique furniture and Metamucil. Anyway, we start going at it (quite sloppily, I might add) and it starts to get hot in the room. She stands on the bed to turn on the overhead fan while I sit up against the cool concrete wall behind the pillows to catch my breath and cool off. Well, she goes for the fan chain and loses her balance. Admittedly, she wasn’t the smallest girl I’ve ever been with, and when she falls, her ass cheeks collide directly with my dumb drunk face, which in turn smacks my head right into the concrete wall. Hard. Bam. Lights out. Woke up to her calling 911 in an inebriated stupor crying, thinking she had killed me."


30. My 15-year-old son walked in on mommy getting oral from daddy.

"My 15-year-old son walked in on mommy getting oral from daddy. I am sure we will laugh about it someday. But not any day soon."


31. My leg crashed into his face, causing a nosebleed and subsequent vomiting.

"Was trying out the logistics of shower sex in a very small shower cubicle, my BF at the time was very tall and I am quite short so we decided that we should try it with him sitting down. Well, he sits down in the shower cubicle and I go and try to put my leg over to straddle him. My leg didn’t make it over. Instead I kneed him straight in the face, not only did he smash his head against the wall but I also gave him a nosebleed. The blood mixed with the water proceeded to look like a crap-ton of blood, which in turn made me nearly pass out and vomit. We proceeded to sit for the next 10 minutes, me on the floor by the toilet and him in the shower tray clutching at his nose. Safe to say the mood was ruined."


32. I came in my own eye, and it burned like a motherfucker.

"Let’s see…I was dating this very nice lady in college. She was home schooled; her parents were really religious but she was gorgeous so I figured why not date her? It’s college everyone will believe we had sex even if we didn’t. Turns out she’s a freak. So we were having sex one night in my dorm room and I’m behind her she’s bent over head in the pillow muffling her screams, I’m about to cum and boom my roommate walks in. I slip out but mid-hump and as I cum. So my penis slides up her butt and I cum in my own eye. It burned like a motherfucker. So I start screaming; she’s mortified. She doesn’t know why I’m screaming and my roommate is standing there at the door laughing his ass off. I couldn’t believe it and a couple weeks later she broke up with me because she couldn’t stand seeing my roommate because she still kept up super religious appearances."


33. He told me that my asshole had gotten hairy since I became pregnant.

"I was about 7 months pregnant and having sex doggy-style. When we finish he stands up and nonchalantly says, 'Your asshole has gotten hairy since you’ve been pregnant.'"


34. I blacked out and hit my head on the toilet after shower sex.

"First time having shower sex with my GF in college and I got so into it that when I finished I blacked out and hit my head on the toilet. Had to stay home from classes that day."


35. Her parents saw me butt-ass naked.

"Was in my teens. First real GF. We were alone in her house and started fooling around. I stopped and went down on her mid-dance. She squirted all over the place. I being a young guy had already seen it in porn plenty so I didn’t think anything of it. I felt a little pride. She, on the other hand, freaked out and got up and pushed me out of the room, then slammed the door and locked it. I’m standing outside of her bedroom butt-ass naked annnd her parents walked in the door. The front door is about two feet from the hall her room was down, so they both got an eyeful. They knew we were having sex but had the 'out of sight out of mind' mindset…well, I wasn’t out of sight anymore."


36. Huge loud farts started erupting from me.

"I was an inexperienced college freshman, violently drunk at a big party and a guy and I snuck into a room to do the nasty. I was laying down while he was sliding into me and he was putting some pressure on my stomach and the second he was mounted I farted. I tried to let it out slowly as to be undetected, but that just made it squeaky. He stops in place and goes, 'Did you just fart?' And I couldn’t help it so I burst out laughing and that just opened the fart floodgate and huge loud farts started erupting from me. Surprisingly enough, this guy and I hooked up one other time, but nothing came out of it."


37. I ran to the bathroom and started puking.

"I was rather ill but still had the fire in my pants. GF and I were sexing it up and right after I finished, I ran to the bathroom and puked. 'Was the sex that bad?' lol good times."


38. He came on her face and told her it was good for her skin.

"Not me, but my roommate in college. He had just started seeing this girl, and she came over while I was out of town for a little sexy times. He was not the most adept sexual partner, so he never knew that he was supposed to give some indication that he was reaching climax. She was giving him head and he just came square between her eyes. She was obviously startled, and on some kind of weird yet hilarious instinct, he goes, 'Don’t worry, it’s good for your skin.' The two of them are still together and I still make fun of him for it to this day."


39. I humiliated my cuckold boyfriend and then farted on him.

"My boyfriend is into 'cuckold' and just general humiliation/degrading talk in bed. So earlier in the day, we were swimming and he can swim but he can’t float or tread water, so he has a floaty noodle all day. He decides to take a break from swimming and I continue… So he’s watching me from the beach when he sees two men start swimming towards me. He goes all protection mode or some shit and decides to swim out to where I am to make sure the men leave me alone…but he brings his floaty.

Later on in the evening, we are having sex. And I genuinely love him so talking to him in a degrading manner is a bit hard for me, and always awkward. This time I say, 'I need a real man… who can protect me without a floaty.' At this point we both start laughing at how ridiculous it was that he swam out with a floaty, and how awkward I am for trying to use that for humiliation. But then, I laugh so hard that I let out a huge fart.

It was a pretty awkward day for sex."


40. I was a two-pump chump.

"The most embarrassing thing to ever happen to me during sex is something that has probably happened to a lot of guys here…

First time with a girl who is now an ex, and about two pumps in, I realize I’m going to cum. To my credit, it had been about 5 years since the last time I had sex and it wasn’t a problem for much longer than that.

I told her that I had to stop (I didn’t tell her that I had started cumming, lol) and she responded by telling me that I could put it in her butt."


41. I couldn’t take the strap-on seriously.

"I was dating a woman, having only dated men in the past. A lot of what we did seemed awkward at first, but I quickly got the hang of it. Our progression sexually went in stages of new thing introduced, do that thing for a week, master that thing (more or less), move on to next thing.

A month or so into the relationship she bought me a strap on. I was a bit dubious but hey, try anything once right? It was huge. I mean pink-skinned, veiny, a set of balls and everything. She tried to be all sexy with getting me in it. As soon as it was on and I looked down it struck me as the funniest thing I’d ever seen in my life. I am laughing hysterically and it’s all bobbing up and down, which makes it funnier.

Meanwhile she lies on the bed, still trying to be all sexy, telling me 'how bad she wants my cock.' That has me tearing up and laughing harder. Once a laugh gets you like that it’s impossible to stop. She is begging for it, I’m laughing. She eventually bursts into tears. I feel bad! So I try to oblige but I can’t stop laughing. I’m pounding away while laughing hysterically. She’s sobbing and saying, 'oh yeah baby, give me that cock.'

Needless to say, that particular skill was never mastered."


42. Trying to be suave, I leaned in and fell off the bed.

"Putting the moves on the now ex-wife on our anniversary years ago. I went to lean down on the bed while saying, 'Hey, Baby.' When I leaned down, I missed the bed and rolled off into the floor. Rico. Suave."


43. Little bastard didn’t give a fuck.

"My GF and I had been dating at this point for maybe 3 months. We just recently just started getting into the sexy times, but she doesn’t have the highest libido. Well one day, she’s a fucking dog in heat, and so that night we are raring to go. We got to her place and went to the living room. Her brother was still awake (he’s 15) and watching TV. We wait for him to go to bed and then immediately I slip her pants off and slowly shove my fingers in her fun hole. Maybe two minutes into this, her brother walks back in. The worst part though, is HE SAT RIGHT BACK DOWN ON THE COUCH BESIDE US. His sister, with her pants around her ankles and I just kinda sat up…pulled up our shit…and sat in awkward silence for a bit. Little bastard just didn’t give a fuck."


44. I met the ex’s mom and grandmother for the first time ever while deep-throating him.

"I met the ex’s mom and grandmother for the first time ever while deep-throating him."


45. I vomited on his penis.

"I hooked up with this guy a couple of times and one night I go over to his place a little drunk. So we start doing our thing and I go down on him. Well, the combination of alcohol and him pushing my head a little too far made me vomit all over his penis. Now, you would think this is the end of the story but no somehow it gets worse. We then get in the shower for him to rinse off and he for some reason that is unclear to me he still wants it so we start having sex. He stops and goes 'uhm….' I had started my period during sex after I puked on his dick. We have now been dating for a year and a half and he still whispers and brings it up when we are with friends to make me turn red."


46. Her mom tapped on the plate-glass window to alert us to her presence.

"I was 19 or 20. Girlfriend lived at the end of a dead-end street, and being young and dumb like we were, she was riding me on the couch in the living room, in a summer dress with no panties in front of a big plate glass window. Her mom came home from work early and tapped on the glass to alert us to her presence. Right as I was about to cum. GF vaulted off of me, and I painted the couch and coffee table as I tried to scramble to the bathroom with a hard-on and my shorts around my ankles. Good times, man."


47. She needed knee surgery after I dry-humped her too hard.

"Dry-humped my GF (now wife) too hard and she hit her knee on the bed frame. Two months later she had to have knee surgery to repair the damage… Four titanium screws, two wires, 85% of her meniscus removed and $50,000 bill. She told her dad that she 'tripped.'"


48. As I came I said, “Here comes Johnyyyyy” with a strange whispering and horny tone.

"It’s not exactly embarrassing, but plain stupid.

It was one of the first times I had sex with my current GF and near the climax I proceeded to ejaculate on her face/chest.

As the sperm was ready to flow I say, “Here comes Johnyyyyy” with a strange whispering and horny tone.

She said nothing.

I said nothing."


49. Spider! Spider!

"One time my GF really wanted to have sex by this lake and as I was on top of her a see a spider walking up my arm. I quickly rise up to shake it while yelling, 'Spider! Spider!' GF thinks it's in her hair and we're both jumping around naked trying to shake off this fucking spider. As were jumping we see a boat in the distance approaching us and we bail out of there as quickly as possible. Do not recommend sex in the woods."


50. I pulled out and shot jizz all over my cat.

"It wasn’t all that embarrassing because I’ve been with my GF for quite a while but still noteworthy, I pulled out and shot jizz all over my cat; he didn’t even move." TC mark

20 Crucial Secrets Of Adulthood You Finally Learn Once You’ve Reached Your Mid-Twenties

Posted: 12 Jul 2016 08:00 PM PDT

kamicatzen
kamicatzen

Last week I celebrated my 25th birthday: the quarter-century; the quarter-quell; and, for a growing number of people, the quarter-life crisis. At 25 you really start to worry about where you are heading; your status in society; your position on the professional ladder of success; and all those things you thought you'd have accomplished by now but that still remain dreams. So for anyone struggling out there with uncertainty, here are 20 pivotal life lessons that I've learned during my 25 years on this planet.

1) Almost everybody is making it up as they go along.

This is the most important realization I've made to date. I used to be of the mindset that everybody else knew exactly what their life purposes were, and while I was floundering around, they were all walking single-track paths to greatness. Reality check – even those people who appear to have it all figured out are flying by the seat-of-their-pants on a regular basis. Life more resembles an obstacle course than an open highway. An obstacle course with myriad different finish lines. You may have an end-goal in mind, but there will be all sorts of unpredictable pitfalls and challenges along the way. Conquering obstacle after obstacle, you'll soon realize that this original end-goal may no longer be what you want after all, and that a complete change in direction is needed. This is normal.

2) Trying to impress people is a waste of time.

Remember that person you met at a party who, when politely asked what they do, recited a memorized life story that listed all their achievements from the primary-school handwriting prize to their PHD in astrophysics? Chances are you thought they were an asshole. The more you try to impress people, the more arrogant and egotistical you will look, and, paradoxically, the less impressed they will actually be. It's great to be proud of your accomplishments, but don't go shoving them down peoples' throats like hot dogs at an all-you-can-eat competition. They will just end up choking on your narcissism.

3) Nothing is as serious as it first appears.

I've said this before, but I'll say it again. When you do something undesirable, your brain starts to invent all sorts of far-fetched outcomes, inflating things out of proportion into an enormous balloon of anxiety. In reality however, nothing ever comes of these concerns. The truth is most people are too self-absorbed to even register these events, never mind having any interest in them. Best put by Mark Twain: "I've had lots of worries in my life, most of which have never happened." Next time you have an 'Oh my God, my life is ruined moment,' ask yourself: Am I going to prison? Has anyone died? Has the world stopped turning? Unless you've answered 'Yes' to any of these three questions, then it's probably not a big deal.

4) Filter your sources of information.

Most of what is written on the internet is bullshit. You might even think that this article is bullshit. If you do, then stop reading now. I urge you. Go and give your mother a call and ask her how she's doing. Go and fix that broken door hinge you've been putting off repairing for the past month. In this digital age, we are constantly being bombarded by information that is irrelevant, time-wasteful, or agenda-specific. Do yourself a favor and learn to filter out the crap.

5) Take trusted peoples' recommendations on-board.

If a friend raves about a new band or artist they are obsessing over, take the time to give their new album a listen. If a close acquaintance can't stop beaming when giving you a synopsis of a movie they recently saw, then make a note to watch it at some point. At worst you've spend a couple hours of your life being bored, but the enjoyment and further understanding you could gain is immeasurable.

6) Learn basic DIY skills.

I'm not just taking about painting and decorating here, although these are also extremely useful skills to have. I'm more broadly talking about anything that you take an interest in. Love cars? Then teach yourself the ins and outs of how an engine and carburetor operate. Love computers? Then learn HTML coding and simple programming. Love art and design? Then take a sewing, flower arranging, pottery, [insert interest here] course. This will further your passion, education, and overall enjoyment for it.

8) Save specifically for your dream goal.

Whether you want to buy a house, save for a wedding, or, like me, travel the world, have a separate bank account with the sole purpose of saving specifically for this dream goal. Then, whatever you do, don't touch it for any other reason. This will allow you to keep a more accurate track of your finances whilst removing any urge to spend it on a short-term benefit that will only hamper your larger aspirations.

9) You will see your best friends less and less, and that's okay.

When at school and university, I saw my best friends almost on the daily. But now that I’m older, and I’ve taken on additional commitments and pursued different things, I probably now only see these friends once a month. Some of those friends I used to see once a month I may now only have an annual catch-up with. When I do now see these friends though, we spend better quality time together than ever before. We go on adventures, try new experiences, have uninterrupted-by-technology discussions, and, as a result, still feel just as close.

10) Prioritize your family.

During the past year I lost my two remaining grandparents – it was a shit time. As this branch fell from our family tree however, a new limb sprouted when my eldest cousin got married. These emotionally conflicting events brought our family closer than ever and truly made me realize that it is our duty to look out for, and help, our relatives through both thick and thin. You are never too busy for your family – end of discussion.

11) Stand by your own principles.

Have your own personal boundaries and stick to them. If something doesn't feel right in a relationship, then speak up. If a business decision doesn't seem logical based on your experience, then challenge it. If someone tries to coax you into doing something you don't agree with, don't bow down to 'peer pressure' – you've not a twelve-year old in a playground anymore.

12) Don't compare yourself to others.

Trying to keep up with the Joneses didn't get anyone anywhere. Have role models who you look up to and mentors who can help guide you, but don't ever try to become a copycat of someone else. Be original.

7) Break the rules.

So what if 7 doesn't sequentially come after 12? Whoop-tee-doo. If life doesn't follow any particular sequence then this blog post doesn't have to either. Don't feel the need to conform to societal norms and conditioning. As long as it's not illegal, then feel free to do whatever you want.

13) Own less shit.

"The things you own end up owning you" – wise words from Fight Club's Tyler Durden. Material possessions provide short-term enjoyment, which ultimately leave us under-satisfied. How many people do you see with flashy cars; designer clothing, and all the latest gadgets, but who carry the facial expression of someone who's just found a human turd on their lawn? Rather than spending your hard earned dollars on more shit and clutter, put it towards experience and personal development. As The Minimalists advise: "Don't focus on having less, less, less; rather, focus on making room for more: more time, more passion, more experiences, more growth, more contribution, more contentment, more freedom."

14) It's OK to do things on your own.

When you were a kid, it was seen as being uncool to do things on your own. People would call you a loner and a loser. Ironically however, it's the things that you do on your own that throw you furthest from your comfort zone, help you develop, and are the bedrock for success. I've been to many concerts on my own and had an absolute blast; I spend hours reading and writing with nothing but my thoughts and it is sheer bliss; Hell, I've even gone traveling alone to different continents and had some of the best experiences of my life. Also, you know the age-old adage that it takes 10,000 hours to mastery? Most of this is behind-the-scenes grafting that nobody witnesses. They see someone whom they regard as 'successful' and think of them as being cut from a different cloth. Bullshit. Yes, some people may have hidden advantages (see Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell), but nothing trumps hard work and commitment. And while we're on the topic of success…

15) There is no set definition of success.

In his award-winning podcast series, entrepreneur and investor Tim Ferriss interviews people who are experts in their field of practice; from Oscar winning movie stars, to Olympic athletes, to billionaire businessmen. A recurring question he asks his guests is: "When you think of the word 'successful,' who is the first persons that comes to mind?" What really struck a chord with me was that nobody answered with the billionaire 'Richard Branson' or EGOT winning 'Whoopi Goldberg,' but instead with 'my mother because she was a great role model,' or 'my best friend Dave and his wife because they have a wonderful and happy family.' Success cannot be quantified and has a different meaning to each individual.

16) It's not failure if you learn from it.

The educationalist Sir Ken Robinson speaks about the importance of failure in the process of learning and succeeding. He argues that "By the time most children become adults they have become frightened of being wrong. We run our companies this way, we stigmatize mistakes, and we are now running national education systems where mistakes are the worst thing you can make. The result is we are educating people out of their creative capacities." Having obtained my university degree and left the education system behind, I can testify that the fear of failure likely prevented me from achieving certain things and most definitely hampered my creative thought process. I've since removed that word from my mental dictionary altogether. After all, is something really a failure if you learn from it? As Thomas Edison said prior to creating the light bulb: "I have not failed, I have just found 10,000 ways that don't work. But just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do, doesn't mean it's useless."

17) Make a habit of the important things.

Once something becomes routine, then it no longer feels like a challenge or chore. I've manage to build meditation, exercise, and language learning into my daily routine so that they have now just become the norm. No longer do I have to drag myself down to the gym or slap myself awake when learning Spanish verbs, and the processes are more enjoyable as a result. However, although it's great to stay driven and hard-working, don't forget that…

18) It's okay to chill out once in a while.

Crack a beer, hang out with your friends, relax, and laugh your worries away. Some of the best days of my life were when we were all simply wasting time.

19) Keep track of all the cool stuff you want to do.

You know all that really cool stuff you want to do in your life? It's not a bad idea to write it down. I keep an Epic Bucket List which aids in planning my next experience or adventure, is motivation to get off my ass and do something worthwhile, and hopefully inspires others to do some really awesome shit as well.

20) Love.                 

Love. Love. Love. Always. TC mark

Let’s Talk About Sex: How To Keep The Flame Burning In Your Marriage

Posted: 12 Jul 2016 07:30 PM PDT

 Joel Sossa
Joel Sossa

In the movie, “Hope Springs” a middle aged couple struggles to ignite some passion into their stale marriage.

The movie accomplished more than critical praise – it got people talking about how to avoid losing romance and sex in a long-term relationship.

Sex is an integral piece of any romance. It is part of the glue that keeps a marriage going strong year after year. And, it's the one thing that unequivocally separates friendship from love. It's important to have sex, and even better to have good sex. It helps you feel more connected to your partner, it makes you feel cared for and comforted, and, it's fun!

However, as anyone who is married knows, keeping a marriage, let alone a sexual connection, strong and vibrant can be a challenge. Over time, people change both physically and psychologically, and life regularly throws us plenty of curve balls. But, believe it or not, even with the inevitable hardships we all experience in and outside of our relationships, it is entirely possible to keep the spark alive.

A big mistake many couples make is to believe that the natural attraction and sexual energy they enjoyed during early phases of their relationship will inevitably carry over, without any effort, throughout their marriage. This is simply a myth. Sex and passion, like anything else in life, has the potential to die out unless it is both honored and nurtured by both parties in a couple.

As neuroscientific research has proven, when you are in a new relationship, during the first six to 18 months, our brain throws out a variety of neurochemicals, which helps to expedite our biological mating dance.  Our brains are aglow in serotonin and dopamine, which keeps passion alive and kicking with little endeavor from us.  Then, as magically as these mating neurochemicals arrive, they recede. When that happens, it's time to roll up our sleeves and put a bit more effort into our sex lives.

So, if you want to keep your sexual relationship going strong, you need to commit to making it a priority.

You can keep your passionate spark alive through regular and productive (no blaming, shaming, or complaining, please) communication with your partner about sex.

Be sure to discuss the following:

  • Make a commitment to sustain your sexual connection through good times and, especially, the more challenging ones. By the way, sex is a great stress relief!
  • Regularly discuss what sex means to each of you. I also suggest talking about fantasies and turn-ons.
  • If you lead a busy life (and who doesn't) it's perfectly OK to put sex dates on the calendar. Don't worry that scheduling may become too "formulaic" – looking forward to sex is a very good thing.
  • Shake it up. Experiment with lingerie, sex toys, and sexy novels to get the creative juices flowing.
  • Worried that you won't be "in the mood"? Allow yourself to enjoy a "transitional experience". If sex is on the calendar tonight (or if you'd like it to be) – prepare yourself earlier in the day. Send you partner a sexy text or a suggestive photo. Take a warm bath and allow the day's stressors to slide off. Light some candles, play some relaxing music, set the mood.

It is entirely possible to keep the spark alive in your marriage. So relax, enjoy, and please have fun tonight! TC mark

The One Thing You Should Never Do After a Breakup

Posted: 12 Jul 2016 07:00 PM PDT

Annie Spratt
Annie Spratt

I love helping people get over breakups. It's my thing.

There's nothing like watching someone finally realize that a terrible breakup could be the best thing that ever happened to them. It might take a few weeks, a few months, or even a year to get to that place. (No shame, mine took a year!) But no matter how long it takes, the moment always feels just as good.

So how do all of these girls successfully get over their exes? Mostly by doing one small thing.

Not talking to them.

I know, I know. It's not the "mature way" to handle the situation. Experts across the board are coming out in support of being cordial with exes. Get over it! they say. Be grownups! Ditch the pettiness! But you know what? Not speaking to an ex to get over a breakup works. And when my clients are struggling to move on, all I care about is results.

Seriously, sometimes I feel like refraining from speaking to an ex is considered the most juvenile action you could possibly take. Apparently we should be able to handle the emotional turmoil of staying friends with an ex just to prove that we are adults instead of prioritizing our own needs. But in my opinion, talking to an ex right after a breakup is a lot like drinking an entire bottle of wine in one sitting. It sounds *amazing* in theory, but it's absolutely destructive in action. And it also leaves you with a splitting headache.

Before I dive in, I will give two exceptions to this rule.

First, if you two have children together, then it's imperative to remain friendly. Coparenting and keeping a united front for the sake of the child(ren) is highly encouraged and is most likely the best option for the family.

Second, if BOTH parties are COMPLETELY over the relationship, then being friends is totally acceptable. Why not? Platonic friendships are ze best. But before you assume that this exception applies to you — make sure you can prove this theory. For instance, are both of you dating other people? How long has the relationship been over? When's the last time there was a 'moment' between you two? Be honest! If you can safely say that both of you are completely over the other, then all right. You're free to skip the rest and move along about your day.

For the rest of you… here are the most important reasons why you should not talk to your ex while recovering from a breakup:

1. You Maintain the Connection

Breakups are rough. Sometimes they blindside you, and sometimes they hang on for dear life, torturing you until the final straw snaps. Nobody likes them, but for the most part they are a necessary evil of life. But the pain isn't meant to be permanent — it's meant to be a short-term shock to heart that we can all recover from.

That is, unless you keep chatting it up.

Continuously texting, seeing, or speaking to an ex is holding onto a ghost of the relationship. The relationship is over. It's not there anymore. So maintaining it only invests time and energy into something that didn't work out. Instead you need to be working on closing the connection and dumping your resources into other outlets.

Eventually when both of you have moved forward from the relationship, then you can give some energy towards the connection again. But chances are, you will have moved on by then, and it won't interest you as much as you thought it would.

2. You Erase Progress

If you're recovering from a breakup, more than likely you've been trying your hardest to move forward. Maybe you've given back some comfy shirts or shared books as a token of the divide. Perhaps you've tried pretty hard not to reach out, even though the temptation is killing you. And you've hopefully tried talking it out with friends or family.

So you probably already know that communication isn't a good idea. Because that's the second you lose most of your progress.

It's so easy. You send a text here, a snap there, and all of a sudden you are knee-deep into into old patterns! You're now texting when something funny happens. You're sharing the inner most details of your day. Hell, you're even providing them with emotional support!

But unfortunately, the relationship ended and that's not its purpose anymore. Both of you have to move on, but communicating keeps you stuck.

Eventually one of both of you will realize that this pattern isn't healthy. Getting back together isn't happening, and there really isn't a point to all this chatting. So then you have to start moving on….again.

Ughhhhhhhh. All that earlier progress. Gone. Just, GONE. Bye, Felipe. Cheers to completely starting over and building back your tolerance to avoiding them.

Don't do this to yourself. Give yourself the space and time you need to fully move forward. Once you're in a better place, then you can rekindle any kind of platonic friendship you'd like.

3. It Gives False Hope

The relationship ended for a reason. It didn't just run its course — there was a firm, legitimate reason the two of you couldn't reach the next level. It's not like you guys drew the short stick and had to deal with the consequences of random chance. No. There was a conversation. An agreement. A finality. And it all stemmed from at least one or two unsolvable problems.

So, when you two communicate like nothing ever happened, it creates a sense of falsehood. You get wrapped up into old rhythms, old memories, old feelings. Of course those interactions are going to lead one of you on — it's almost impossible to avoid.

Just like there was a reason for the breakup — there was a reason for the relationship. You two obviously had a connection at some point, and it's pretty difficult to erase from memory. It's entirely too easy to forget why the relationship ended and remember why it started. Don't leave a trail of breadcrumbs right into the lion's den when you KNOW it is almost impossible to get out alive. Protect yourself! Let yourself regain strength and recover from the old relationship before you work on a new kind of relationship. Both of you will benefit in the long run.

4. You Block Other Opportunities

It's simple math: if you're doing all the talking with your ex, then you're not doing as much talking with people who are not your ex. And those other people are the people who you still have an intact relationship with… unlike a certain someone. Instead of opening yourself up to new people or exploring existing friendships, you're sinking yourself further into a relationship that already burnt to the ground. The emotional investment you continue to pour into an ex could be poured into other people who would gladly return the love. Don't shut yourself off from opportunities by burying yourself in an old relationship. Expose yourself to new possibilities. Plus, distraction can be a sweet treat after time spent processing, so allow yourself that break. TC mark

16 Ridiculously Annoying Things That Every Girl Will Instantly Relate To

Posted: 12 Jul 2016 06:00 PM PDT

PMSingTiger /
PMSingTiger /

1. That sudden urge to pee right after you paint your nails. WHY?!

2. When you have the worst itch ever on your eye, so you rub the hell out of it, only to remember you put eyeliner on today and your face is now f*cked..

3. No matter how hard you try to plan your vacations around your periods, you ALWAYS have it while on vacation. FML

4. You give yourself an extra 30 minutes to get ready so you're not late, but you still end up being 30 minutes late.

5. Long drives= at least 3 or more pit stops to pee. Men hate long rides with you.

6. Your hair always looks amazing the morning of your new hair cut and color appointment, leaving you to ask yourself if you should still get it done or not.

7. It always rains on the day you leave the hair salon. You leave in a shower cap. Are you 80? Ew.

8. You always get stuck next to the biggest weirdo on the plane. You never get that hot guy next to you on the plane. #serialkillersonly

9. You always have at least one item to return in your car. Impulse buying= constant returns. The store manager hates you.

10. Deciding where to eat is more complex than designing a time machine.

11. As soon as you tell the waiter/waitress what you want to eat, you think in your head how you regret not ordering something else. You dwell on this your entire time at the restaurant. You can't get over it.

12. You complain that you're fat, yet you eat pizza and ice cream basically every day.

13. Watching a movie you've already seen with someone that hasn't seen it. You narrate the whole time. "OMG watch this part. Do you get it? Make sure you pay attention here…" We are so annoying to watch movies with.

14. We say we don't care about Valentine's Day, but we will start the biggest fight if we don't get chocolate on Valentine's Day.

15. The whole, "I'm Fine" thing. We say we are fine, but deep down we want to beat you over the head with a broomstick. Closet raging b*tch syndrome.

16. We love to ask for advice but then do the complete opposite of that. TC mark

24 TV Boyfriends That Were Actually The Worst — I’m Looking At You Danny Castellano

Posted: 12 Jul 2016 05:00 PM PDT

1. Barney Stinson, HIMYM

Amazon / How I Met Your Mother
Amazon / How I Met Your Mother

Back in the day, I loved How I Met Your Mother. It was a goofy, buddy comedy. Other than the excruciating premise that meandered for far too long of meeting said mother, the show also became unwatchable because of Barney's sexism. They exhausted the comedy and Barney became too misogynistic to bear. Robin, he basically tricked you into a proposal, what were you thinking?

2. Mr. Big, SATC

Amazon / Sex And The City
Amazon / Sex And The City

Mr. Big may be the quintessential bad boyfriend. He came with baggage, was closed off, made Carrie talk like a crazy person and the whole thing dragged on for too long. That's without the added television and film spectacle of adultery and Big's stint as a runaway groom.

3. Richard Wright, SATC

Amazon / Sex And The City
Amazon / Sex And The City

Richard's level of sleaze made him creepy. That sex scene where Smith waits for Sam in the hotel lobby is downright disturbing without added frills or drama because Richard is downright off-putting.

4. Danny Castellano, The Mindy Project

Amazon / The Mindy Project
Amazon / The Mindy Project

I hate Danny Castellano. But I love The Mindy Project. I sincerely hope he and Mindy don't end up together. Danny's actions are downright disrespectful and pretty sexist. In the infamous "I Slipped" episode, Danny, well, slips when he goes for fifth base — without being waved in beforehand. Since he sheepishly acquiesces when Mindy asks him to stop, this is not the biggest problem with his behavior. The slut shaming that follows is what is particularly unsettling. Let's not forget Danny refused to commit. He puts his family ahead of Mindy and his son. And, he doesn't want her to work. Danny, you are the absolute worst.

5. Clark, The Americans

Amazon / The Americans
Amazon / The Americans

Poor Martha. Clark isn't even real. He is an alias for a KGB spy who is manipulating her. Which not only makes him a bad boyfriend, but emotionally abusive and terrifying.

6. Ross Geller, Friends

Amazon / Friends
Amazon / Friends

Ross gets this pass as a goofy, nice guy. But, watching Friends as an adult has taught me that Ross is an asshole. He is totally unsupportive of Rachel's career, actually he does almost everything he can to sabotage it. And, they may have been on a break, but to quote Rachel he "had a hell of time at the wake." And, we aren't even going to get into the way he treated Mona.

7. Adam Sackler, Girls

Amazon / Girls
Amazon / Girls

To quote Hannah, Adam treated Hannah's heart like "monkey meat." And, that Mimi Rose nonsense, could you imagine returning to your own apartment to find that?

8. Desi, Girls

Amazon / Girls
Amazon / Girls

Where to even begin? At best, he is a whiner and emotional terrorist. At worst, he's a cheater and a flake — remember when he stood Marnie up and she had to perform alone?

9. Dan Humphrey, Gossip Girl

Amazon / Gossip Girl
Amazon / Gossip Girl

*Spoiler* Because Dan was Gossip Girl all along and the ramifications of that on the women he supposedly loved are pretty unforgiveable, despite how the characters glossed over it.

10. Patrick Murray, Looking

Amazon / Looking
Amazon / Looking

He's the emotionally complicated protagonist. We get it. But the cheating and self-sabotage can be too much. I mean, remember his Halloween party outburst?

11. Justin, Parks and Recreation

Amazon / Parks And Recreation
Amazon / Parks And Recreation

This is the voyeur who makes Leslie feel insecure about being interesting and sets her mother up for humiliation. Dumping him was a smart move, Leslie.

12. Dennis Duffy, 30 Rock

Amazon / 30 Rock
Amazon / 30 Rock

Because he was on To Catch A Predator … Because he called Liz dummy … Because he talked about Rat Kings at dinner with Liz's boss … Really, you need more?

13. Nick Miller, New Girl

Amazon / New Girl
Amazon / New Girl

New Girl's Nick and Jess dynamic reinforces the unhealthy TV stereotype that yelling at each other and being in fights all the time is the same thing as passion. It's gonna be a long life if you can never be at peace with your spouse, or have ambitions that include living on the same planet. Remember when Nick wanted to be a long haul trucker on Mars? Also, the man is basically a giant irresponsible baby who can't save money or clean up after himself.

14. Dean Forester, Gilmore Girls

Amazon / Gilmore Girls
Amazon / Gilmore Girls

*Cracks knuckles and stretches neck* Here we go, Gilmore Girls. I freaking love Gilmore Girls. But, the collective dating history of the Gilmore Girls were, to quote Phoebe Buffay, a who's who of human garbage. And, Dean is the most garbage. He was married to Lindsay. He constantly stunted Rory's ambitions. He was overly sensitive. And, he had a short fuse.

14. Logan Huntzberger, Gilmore Girls

Amazon / Gilmore Girls
Amazon / Gilmore Girls

Rory is garbage when she dates him. She becomes a Yale brat. He also has a horrible family that makes Rory feel terrible. Logan is the living worst. To quote Jess, he's a "blond dick at Yale."

15. Jess Mariano, Gilmore Girls

Amazon / Gilmore Girls
Amazon / Gilmore Girls

Jess gets a bad wrap because he ghosts Rory and toys with her emotions. But, in the end, he does grow up and becomes the best adult of her Rory's boyfriends.

16. Christopher Hayden, Gilmore Girls

Amazon / Gilmore Girls
Amazon / Gilmore Girls

He's another immature male on Gilmore Girls. Christopher does eventually get it right. But, his impulsivity and ego made him an unreliable partner.

17. Luke Danes, Gilmore Girls

Amazon / Gilmore Girls
Amazon / Gilmore Girls

I shipped as hard as the next fan on Lorelai and Luke. But, Luke treated Lorelai terribly with the whole April/refusing to set a wedding date storyline. I am just hoping that the reboot gives fans some closure following those dismal final seasons. I hope we get the old Luke and Lorelai back!

18. Lucious Lyon, Empire

Amazon / Empire
Amazon / Empire

Lucious is the anti-hero we love to hate. He's a cutthroat businessman whose scandalous decisions make for good TV. But, he's actually done some pretty evil stuff. At times, we catch ourselves rooting for a Lucious and Cookie happy (not sure if happy is the right word) ending. However, Cookie is bringing way more to the table and has already given enough to Lucious.

19. Nick Andopolis, Freaks and Geeks

Amazon / Freaks And Geeks
Amazon / Freaks And Geeks

He was just so annoying. But, once again, Freaks and Geeks hits you by bringing out repressed memories. We all had our own cringe-inducing Nick Andopolis.

20. Larry Bloom, Orange is the New Black

Amazon / Orange Is The New Black
Amazon / Orange Is The New Black

He used Piper's pain for his own gain with that Modern Love piece. Then he sleeps with her best friend while she's behind bars. Piper's no treat, but jeez Larry.

21. Andy Dwyer, Parks and Recreation

Amazon / Parks And Recreation
Amazon / Parks And Recreation

Before Andy was an adorable husband to April Ludgate, he was the crappy mooching boyfriend of Ann Perkins. Remember how he stayed in his casts for too long so A-cakes would have to keep taking care of him? Andy, you are lucky that Leslie made you straighten up and gave you a job.

22. Ryan, The Office

Amazon / The Office
Amazon / The Office

Where to even start? To quote the Subtle Sexuality song, he's a male prima donna. He is a liar, he threatens Jim and he gets arrested for white-collar crime. On a good day, he is rude to Kelly, arrogant and makes her lie and say he is her boss. Although, in many ways, Kelly and Ryan sort of found each other. I mean, he did give his baby an allergic reaction so he and Kelly could runaway together.

23. Fitz, Scandal

Amazon / Scandal
Amazon / Scandal

Frankly, I don't get the appeal? He's an adulterer, a hypocrite, controlling and, to be blunt, a privileged dick. Olivia can do better.

24. Kevin, The OC

Amazon / The O.C.
Amazon / The O.C.

He caused the accident that killed Marissa. Yeah, that wins. Worst TV boyfriend ever. TC mark

This Is What We Expect From Modern Love

Posted: 12 Jul 2016 04:30 PM PDT

eyeconic_captures
eyeconic_captures

An instant reply to a text message is valiant. A first date that doesn’t end in sex is chivalrous. Looking away from your phone long enough to share two seconds of direct eye contact is incredibly intimate. Holding hands feels too simple. Conversations without any outward distractions are confusing. Everything must happen immediately, except for the connections themselves.

Rules are made, and rules are followed.

Don’t text them first, but if you must, make sure it comes off as vague and disinterested enough to spark curiosity on their end. Talk about yourself on dates if you’d like, but filter it enough to the point where you’re just a three-dimensional version of your mysterious and distant online persona. Have flaws, have insecurities, have fears, but keep them to yourself. Your innermost thoughts and emotions do not belong in a conversation with your potential lifelong partner and confidant.

Crave love, and connection, and truth. But only internally. If you admit it out loud, you are weak and clingy and needy. You are an embarrassment. You are one of the weird ones.

Want them when you can’t have them, because this is what you’re used to. And wish they were harder to get when they’re standing right in front of you, placing their beating heart into your hesitant hands.

Announce publicly that you don’t know what you’d do without them, that they are the most incredible person you’ve ever met. Have a harder time saying this to their face, or just forget to say it all.

Lock eyes with them. Feel joyful but also feel sad, because it is in this moment that you realize how unnatural it feels to be this connected with another human being, to realize that this is the most naked you’ve ever felt. Pay attention to how much your brain wants to break up this moment, how it wants you to speak or to look away so as to protect yourself from this instant of intense vulnerability.

Keep refreshing, refreshing, refreshing. Keep looking for change and variation and new stimuli in whatever you think you’ve found, because this is modern love, and any contentment and consistency in modern love is a death wish.

Always be closing. Closing yourself, closing your door, closing your mouth to prevent yourself from saying anything that might bring the two of you closer or make you seem more human.

Continue running. Never stop running. Because this is a generation of chasing, and we will continue to do so, even when what we want is right in front of us. TC mark

This Is How You Will Fuck Up Your Life, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Posted: 12 Jul 2016 04:00 PM PDT

Flickr / Ally [Photographer]
Flickr / Ally [Photographer]

Aries

Hmm, Aries, huh? Aries are known for rushing through shit, trying to get done the fastest because they are the first sign. You will probably end up rushing through life, and totally miss anything relevant happening along the way. You’ll find yourself gasping on your deathbed, realizing that you never actually accomplished anything because you too damn busy getting to the destination.

Taurus

Your stubbornness is totally gonna do you in. You’re going to pass up the perfect partner for some totally trivial reason. Like, you’ll be ready to say your wedding vows and then realize they have an annoying way of chewing food and then you totally leave them at the altar. You will then enjoy several years of intense, hot sex on the road with dozens of partners before the triviality of your life truly sets in and you just sleep the rest of your life away in some remote cave with a lazy boy chair.

Gemini

Gemini are the “twins” which represents how erratic that thus zodiac type is. In all likelihood, your split personality is going to cause you to lose your marbles and become addicted to Xanax and then get thrown in the slammer for bribing your doctor for your next fix.

Cancer

You are going to spend your whole life moaning to people you don’t know about how things should have turned out better. Then, after you are completely alone, you will max out your credit cards trying to replace human contact with material possessions — and it won’t work.

Leo

You are lazy. You are super lazy. You basically sleep almost all the time. You’re probably going to fall asleep after reading this, and just never wake up.

Virgo

You will, ultimately, end up being a workaholic. You will end up being one of those stereotypical Lifetime Movie Network parents who miss their children’s entire life working 7am – 10pm in the office seven days a week.

Libra

You will end up losing sight of your dream by trying to make everyone else happy and helping them achieve their dreams. You will end up quitting your high-paying job to help your best friend start up some small buisness destined to fail, and you will fail right along with them.

Scorpio

You will get mauled by a tiger trying to “discover yourself” in some tropical jungle before you accomplish anything of note.

Sagittarius

You will get 100% fucked over by some buisness partner who takes advantage of your trusting nature. The moment you are on the cusp of success, he will empty your joint bank accounts and book it off to The Dominican Republic. You will be move under and Overpass.

Capricorn

You will disappoint your lover in bed one too many times, and they will leave with their “other” lover with all the money you earned from your steady hard work. You will live the rest of your live as a fry-cook at some fast food restaurant, earning just enough money to get by.

Aquarius

Emotionally distant, you will isolate all your friends with your cold-calculating nature, until, eventually, you decide it is just better to stay at home alone forever and play online blackjack.

Pisces

You will never actually make a real decision, and just dither away your life until your partner leaves, your boss fires you, and you’re still dithering. TC mark

14 Women Confess Their Biggest Insecurities In Bed

Posted: 12 Jul 2016 03:00 PM PDT

Konstantin Kryukovskiy
Konstantin Kryukovskiy

1. "I hate my body. It makes me so insecure that while his face is between my legs all he's going to look up and see is huge thighs around his face and my big belly in view of my face." – Sara, 22

beetlejuice

2. "I'm definitely insecure about my orgasms. I cum like a waterfall and I know that most girls don't so it makes me insecure. I feel like guys don't expect it because most girls don't squirt if they even achieve an orgasm, so it's shocking to them and it always makes me feel a little bit nervous while hooking up with someone new." – Carrie, 26

beetlejuice

3. "I feel like my vagina looks weird. I have 'roast beef curtains' and I'm always extremely self-conscious about it because they have such a bad and embarrassing reputation that it makes me hate my vagina." – Kevina, 24

beetlejuice

4. "I get so nervous that I'm boring him. I hate that I feel like I'm not good enough to give him the pleasure he needs. I feel like sex should be fun, but the sex I'm currently having with my boyfriend isn't very fun." – Lisa, 29

beetlejuice

5. "My biggest insecurity is my body. I can barely enjoy sex because I am so self-conscious about what he actually thinks of my body. I know he obviously must be into me if he's having sex with me, but I just have so many negative thoughts running through my mind." –Elizabeth, 27

beetlejuice

6. "I have a very low sex drive. I don't even want to have sex and I know admitting that makes me sound like some sort of freak, but I'm much happier sitting at home with my vibrator. In my opinion that is better than having to get naked in front of someone who probably has no intentions of calling me again. I just don't feel like I need sex, so when it's time for me to get in bed it isn't much fun." – Cassie, 25

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7. "My biggest insecurity is that I can make myself cum more than any guy I've ever been with. I hate that I have to act like I'm enjoying myself when I know that I could do it much better myself. I try to redirect him, but there's only so much confidence crushing you can do in bed." – April, 30

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8. "This is a tough one, but I have an STD. It literally feels like it's ruining my life because it's definitely ruining my sex life. I hate it so much, but now I've learned that protection is key. It just sucks I had to learn the hard way." – Bella, 26

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9. "I'm extremely insecure about my breasts. I have pepperoni nipples and I hate them." – Nia, 24

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10. "I've been having sex with my husband for many, many years now and while the sex stays good my body image is getting worse. I feel like after I had kids I became unattractive and sex is a routine thing now. The passion isn't there like when we were younger and I don't know if it's because my body has gone through changes, but it makes me feel insecure." – Scarlet, 34

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11. "I can't orgasm and it makes me so insecure. He could be fingering me, eating me out or fucking me and nothing ever happens. I think there was one time in my whole life that I actually came and it was years ago with my ex boyfriend. It makes me insecure because it feels good, but it's never enough." – Shelly, 26

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12. "I just really hate my body. It turns me off and makes me insecure. I constantly run through things I'll do differently like eating better and working out while I'm having sex because I get so, so insecure while I'm naked and someone's on top of me." – Tammy, 21

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13. "I have to pretend my boyfriend is someone else in order to feel good about the sex. It's so wrong, but I'm just not turned on by him anymore. He really let himself go and while I love him as a person he doesn't turn me on sexually anymore. It makes me feel horrible, but I don't know what else to do." – Val, 23

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14. "I’m insecure when I’m on top riding him. I feel like he is just gazing up at my body bouncing around on top of him like a whale out of water. I don’t have enough confidence in my sexual performance to ease that thought from my mind." – Zoe, 27  TC mark

5 Little Truths About Who You Are At Heart, According To Your Zodiac Sign

Posted: 12 Jul 2016 02:00 PM PDT


PISCES

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AQUARIUS

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CAPRICORN

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SAGITTARIUS

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SCORPIO

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LIBRA

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VIRGO

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LEO

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CANCER

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GEMINI

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TAURUS

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ARIES

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