Thought Catalog


32 Ironic And Darkly Funny Family Deaths That You’ll Hate Yourself For Laughing About

Posted: 21 Jul 2016 08:00 PM PDT

via Lookcatalog
via Lookcatalog

1. Keep It Down

My great grandmother, who was very hard of hearing, was hospitalized at 104 years old. All the relatives piled into her room and sat around talking. Suddenly she sat up and said, “Will you people stop yelling. You’re interrupting my nap!”, then fell back on the pillow dead as a doornail.

2. A Prankster Til The End

My grandfather had lost his legs and used a scooter to get around. He was always a prankster and loved to have fun and joke around. His final act was trying to scare someone at a party. He was trying to sneak up on my uncle. he was going around a small hill and tipped his scooter. Broke multiple bones and died from complications. He thought it was hilarious.

3. Safety Inspection

Not a loved one but perhaps relevant – my uncle helped build large generators for remote villages around the world. He was sent to China where the power plant was in mid-construction. He was given a tour and came across a fairly dangerous hole in the floor that went down several stories, when his co-workers started laughing hysterically. When he asked what was so funny the translator told him that someone had fallen through the hole and died yesterday morning. When he responded why they thought that was so funny, they responded “It was the safety inspector”.

4. Safe Became Sorry

My 100 year old great grandfather fell while walking without his walker. He insisted he was fine, but the nursing home insisted he go to the hospital for a checkup just to be sure. No broken bones, but he contracted pneumonia in the hospital and died from it.

5. The Winter Followed

My parents grew up in Pennsylvania, but moved to North Carolina when I was a kid to get away from harsh winters. My father died of a heart attack while shoveling snow in NC.

6. A Clown’s Death

A good family friend died by choking on a non-inflated balloon. She was elderly and trying to blow up balloons for a baby shower. It was ironic because she worked as a clown for over 10 years when she was young. I thought it was a joke when I first heard what happened.

7. Banana Peel

My great grandmother died by slipping on a banana peel, falling into the corner of a table, and puncturing her lung on it. People try really hard not to laugh when I tell them.

8. High Five

My brother died literally minutes after having sex with a girl. It wasn’t funny at the time, but he would’ve high fived himself.

9. Savage Irony

A guy in my hometown drowned while at work…as a lifeguard

10. Dirty Granny

My grandma dropped dead at the dinner table one night and my mom faked CPR to the 911 operator. Grandma lived with my parents for 5 years before she died and they discovered that Grandma didn’t shower or brush her teeth or wash her hands after using the bathroom (she’d always get shit everywhere and it was always under her nails). Needless to say, when she died my parents called 911, the 911 operator instructed my mom to give Grandma mouth to mouth. My mom, the most honest person I know, couldn’t do it. Instead my mom faked it and lied to the operator, saying she did it….needless to say, Grandma didn’t wake up. Don’t freak out, grandma had congestive heart failure and she was a DNR but, in the moment, nobody thought of that. We still make jokes saying mom killed grandma. Yeah, my family is fucked up like that.

11. Her Favorite Show Was “Six Feet Under”

I had a coworker whose mother died in a freak accident. She’d been rushing to go to work, got in the car, started it and realized that she left her purse on the ground behind her car. She got out of the car, bent over to pick up her purse and her car suddenly rolled backwards and ran over her, killing her instantly.

A week later my coworker was trying to distract himself my watching TV and saw Six Feet Under was on. That was his mom’s favorite show so he stopped and decided to watch it. If you’ve seen that show you know there’s a death at the beginning of the episode. The death that episode? A guy getting run over by his own car.

He said it was so shocking and ironic that he couldn’t help but laugh about it.

12. Suicide Hotline

He took calls for a suicide hotline for 8 years, and then he killed himself. Left a note saying he couldn’t live with himself for talking people out of their desires.

13. Getting High

Not one of my loved ones but one of my dad’s friend died what I considered to be a ‘funny’ death. His best friend was a junkie (as was he) and on his (my dad’s) birthday they wanted to do some heroin but his girlfriend didn’t like him doing the heroin so they climbed up a tree to do it in secret. They got high (in both ways) and then he fell out of the tree and died.

14. This Is It! I Can Feel It!

My grandfather’s heart was 96% clogged for the last ten years of his life. He had diabetes and two forms of cancer.

When they found the cancer, he asked the doctor what he should do. The doctor said, “Well, if you don’t treat it, it’ll kill you in three years.” Then he shrugged and said, “But, I mean, I wouldn’t worry about planning that far ahead.”

One day, he called up the whole family and said, “This is it. I can feel it. This is the moment I am going to die.”

So everybody came out to be with him. We have family in the arctic, in Thailand and in China, and they all came to Ontario to be with him. We sat and talked to him and tried to say comforting thing. Personally, I said, “How are you doing, gramps?” He said, “I’m dying, how the hell do you think I’m doing?”

We all stood by his side that night waiting for him.

And then the next night.

By day three, my uncle started to get impatient. He started saying, “Y’know, I’ve really got to go to work on Monday.”

The people who held out the longest stayed for a week, all just sort of waiting for him to die, but he never did. Eventually, though, everyone had to go back to their own lives, and plus we were getting bored, so we all moved on.

Three months later he called again and said he was dying again, but we weren’t going to fall for that trick twice.

It turned out he was telling the truth that time.

15. Joke’s On You

My friend made a Facebook status almost two years ago right after Halloween that read, “Happy Diabetes Awareness Day” pretty much just as a joke.

He was found dead a day or two later in his apartment. He died from complications due to diabetes. I never even knew he had it.

16. A Fitness Induced Heart Attack

A friend of mine was an athlete, with an amazing body, 6-pack and all of that jazz. Didn’t smoke, drank occasionally. Dropped dead in the middle of the night, in his dorm room, due to a natural heart attack. Doctors said his case was very rare, and is seen only in athletes.

In layman’s term, his heart attack was because of his fitness.

17. Hospital Mix Up

My great-aunt died when the hospital accidentally removed her good kidney, instead of her bad one.

I was just a kid when it happened, so I didn’t find out all the details for a long time. Now that I know, though, I’m kind of upset. You never heard the expression, “Measure twice, cut once”, Mr. Surgeon?

18. “The Man Just Won’t Die”

I’ll put my husband in here.

I had a joke for a long time “The man just WON’T DIE” Thankfully, I was no where near him when he eventually did pass away.

First, he was 18 years older than me, so there were many, many times that I don’t even know about. These are just things I know about in the 20 or so years that I knew him.

  • Got into many motorcycle accidents. One that I knew about was a woman pulled out to cross his lane of travel. He saw it coming, so he sorta stood up and did a roll over the top of her car. Barely a scratch on him. Bike was a mess though.
  • While driving through a forested swampy area, he nodded off. Went off the road and managed to miss EVERY SINGLE TREE. Came to rest gently against a boulder. Cops couldn’t figure it out. He wasn’t injured at all and the car was fine.
  • He developed a lung ulcer from smoking dope crack or something like that. I had left him at this point to care for our toddler daughter, and I didn’t want to watch himself kill himself. He went to the hospital eventually. They gave him penicillin. Turns out he was allergic to penicillin. Doctors gave him a small chance of survival. So he called me and asked me to take him home to die. When I picked him up, his feet were literally the size of watermelons due to the allergic reaction. I bought him cigarettes on the way to his house. Yup, he survived.
  • A while later he was welding in something like an elevator shaft. A huge piece of metal dropped down and hit him square on the head. It flung him out of the shaft and against a wall. He was knocked out, but eventually regained consciousness. He tried to go back to work, but his boss sent him home. He went back to work the next day. About a month later, the pain in his neck got to be annoying, so he went and got X-Rays. 3 vertebrae were shattered and he lost 3 inches of height. Walked around for a month with a broken back.
  • At least once, almost overdosed on heroin. Said the thought of our daughter brought him out of it.

How he actually did die is the ironic part. He was on Methadone for the addiction problems and pain issues. He was fighting with his doctor about the dosage. He thought that the dosage was too high, from what I understand. He had a close call about a week before he did die.

He got his dose. Took the bus to my grandmother’s house (he did work around her house for her) Said he didn’t feel well. She let him lay down on her couch. That’s where he died….just went to sleep.

Another odd thing too. I wasn’t aware that Baptists go door to door. He was a Baptist. At the moment my grandmother found him, Baptists came to her door. She was freaking out, of course. One of them was an EMT, so they attempted to revive him.

All of this was 3 days before our daughter’s 12th birthday. I had taken the day out of work to prepare for her birthday. I’m a workaholic…so he was very considerate to wait until I had a day off?

He was a pain in the ass, but I miss the motherfucker.

19. F-You, Cancer

The death itself wasn’t all that funny, but my dad requested “I Don’t Need No Doctor” by Humble Pie be played at his funeral. He died of cancer.

20. He Wanted To Hike In The Front

We were hiking. I let my friend pass in front of me (we were 8 people, i was in the front, in line). After 30 seconds a single rock fell from above hitting him on the head. Instant kill. Head open. I was 16. I still have that horrible image on my mind. Then i ran with my sister to the starting point of the trail while our parents stayed with my friend, already dead. Only one rock fell, without warning. Made me believe in destiny.

21. Away Messages

In college, my friend would put an away message on AIM on NYE. “Score in 2004!” “Free in 2003!” He asked for suggestions for 2005. I IMed him and suggested “Alive in 2005.”

I found out the next day he had hanged himself.

22. Customer Appreciation

My dad was an alcoholic that lived in a small town and he died due to liver failure while on a massive bender. The death wasn’t unusual, but the funny part was that the biggest bouquet of flowers that were sent to the funeral were from the fucking liquor store.

23. One Way Or The Other

My mom tried to commit suicide unsuccessfully and the next day she died of heart disease totally unrelated.

24. Brain Surgeon With Brain Cancer

My aunt is a specialized brain surgeon and was recently diagnosed with a type of brain cancer that only she and one other person in the country (her best friend) is trained to operate on.

25. An Awkward Legacy At Best

Guy I played Rugby with in College accidentally killed him self David Carradine style. I was a few years removed from college and I moved back home so I was unable to attend the funeral, but I always wanted to know how awkward that whole thing would have been. We all worry about our internet history after we die, but to actually be at a funeral for a dude who died cranking one out with a belt around his neck pretty much cements your legacy.

26. “Never Could Get Him To Leave That Thing Alone”

Dear friend was an only child to older, Catholic parents who doted on him as a miracle birth. We worked in a restaurant together and he was known to be a bi-sexual, adventurous love machine.

He went of to college and was found hanging in his closet naked about 30 minutes after a seemingly normal conversation with his mother.

They were devastated at his apparent suicide. Their priest was immediately by their side trying to comfort them, but they could not make peace with their only son going straight to hell with no warning.

So, I was elected to tell them the truth.

He was jacking off with a noose for a greater thrill and it went all wrong.

Of course I worded it more carefully. The priest was there, his mother had been weeping for three days. I told her it was an accident, a thing the kids were trying as a sexual experiment, that’s why he was naked…

As she listened her eyes got bigger and bigger and suddenly she burst out laughing. “I never could get him to leave his thing alone!” she exclaimed.

And then she turned to the priest who shrugged his shoulders and offered her “Purgatory?”. And both his parents sighed a deep sigh of relief. That was when I found out you could pray a soul out of Purgatory.

Even his parents could not keep a straight face at the funeral. I think it was the relief of the truth.

27. Almost Made It

A distant relative was hit by a train when he thought he could jump across the tracks just before the train passed.

He made it. But then he tripped backwards…

28. Beating Cancer

My mother died in a car accident while going through chemo for stage 3 Lymphoma. We dealt with it with our dark sense of humor by saying, Mom found a way to beat cancer.

29. Thanks, Obama

My partner was talking to her grandfather about US politics. Normally, she wouldn’t engage him due to his differing views (namely, racism), but this time, he said that Obama was “a commie socialist.” She said, “I think actually most socialists wouldn’t agree with that; they probably would want him to be more left.” He opened his mouth to respond and then yawned and didn’t move. Turns out he’d died at that moment.

30. Paying Their Respects

My grandma died, so all of my family came to town to attend the funeral. On their way home from the service, my aunt and uncle died in a car crash.

31. Alcoholic Killed By Drunk Driver

I’m not sure if this is truly ironic but my aunt died a few years ago in an unexpected but fitting way. She was a long-time alcoholic with liver disease to the point to where she was given a 6 month expiration date. It was going to be a slow, painful death and none of us were happy about watching her kill herself with alcohol.

Shortly after receiving this diagnosis, she died instantly in a drunk driving accident. She was the passenger, my cousin was driving drunk.

32. Killed By The Deer She Was Protecting

I had an aunt who was a chapter president of the League of Humane Voters, an anti-hunting group. One of their opponent groups arguments was “if we don’t allow hunters to kill deer, the deer population will increase and create traffic accidents.”

She was killed when a car on the opposite side of a divided highway struck a deer, and the deer’s carcass went flying through the air, across the highway, and through the windshield of the car in which she was a passenger.

Knowing the highway (people drive 70-80), she was killed over a hundred pounds of venison that struck her at 140 mph. Instant death.

The driver of the car was entirely unharmed. Not a scratch.

Nobody really talked about the fact that she was killed by the very thing that hunters said would happen. It was just “a car accident.” But her husband silently dropped out of the group soon thereafter. TC mark

Know Your Worth, Know You Are Enough

Posted: 21 Jul 2016 07:00 PM PDT

katiekhromova
katiekhromova

Often times we find ourselves in an internal struggle between the need for a heavily materialistic lifestyle and staying true, understanding that this shit actually doesn't matter. With 24/7 social media at our fingertips, our priorities have shifted.

I just turned 27 and I've lived without social media for half of my life, ~AIM~ being the first platform introduced in junior high. (That's AOL Instant Messenger for all you youngblooods.) This connected classmates and neighbors, and was a new way to chat to friends, strangers, and even robots. (SmarterChild anyone?) Myspace then became king around 2004 for me. (WHAT do you mean I'm not in your top 8, Chrissy?)

We then moved to Facebook in 2006 and this was a more *MaTuRe* platform for the sophisticated college student – which of course us in high school had to get in on. Twitter then hit me in 2009 as a college sophomore; it was different, personal. Celebrities could actually tweet whatever they wanted, which was a refreshing change from the heavily calculated responses to the press we only heard prior. And finally, in the timeline of media, we have Instagram, which it's a love/hate from me. (Simon Cowell voice).

The internet wins when we are connected in ways that would never be possible without it, when a photo sparks inspiration, when you organically feel some type of way from something you see or hear. The goal of advertising is to spark an emotion, pull heart strings, which then prompts you to connect to the message, take action, and then buy the product. Social media is not much different than the psychology of advertising.

"WE ARE CONSUMERS. WE'RE THE BY-PRODUCTS OF A LIFESTYLE OBSESSION." -FIGHT CLUB (1999)

I was lucky. I had a childhood of razor scooters and faced that struggle of dial up internet (Mom! Get off the PHONE.) I had to actually talk to people. Yikes. My fear now is that kids that are growing up on social media won't fully comprehend the value of human quality and interpersonal relationships. And how could they?

We are products of our environment. 'We are consumers. We're the by-products of a lifestyle obsession.' Fight Club (1999). So who are we to blame the up and coming leaders of the future? We created this. This is what we ordered. Screw the Olympics, getting likes and followers are now the biggest competition in town. (Especially this town, LA.) Tits and ass get views – post it. A car this isn't mine – post it. #blessed. Found myself at a sick house party with a view – post it.

The notifications give us a high like no other, you feel a sense of validation.
What's missing though is that in these moments of actual cool shit, we're neck deep in our phones. What social media sometimes fails to do is demonstrate the reality that is darkness. Raw reality. Perception of ourselves is based on ourselves, so of course we're going to show that we're the flyest, baddest, and most desirable. Everyone promotes themselves as a brand. What needs to be understood though is that this alternate reality doesn't always ring true.

What happens beyond the followers? You got the decimal in your follow count. Dope – now what? Yes, this could lead to opportunities. Hey, maybe even endorsement deals promoting teeth whitening and tea! And thats cool, do you. What is beyond though? We have to understand that while it's great to be appreciated and liked, we can't isolate the value of our truth, of what/who is in our hearts; engraved in our souls. Human interaction is fleeting, especially with kids growing up now (whether they realize it or not) so don't forget the physical, and definitely not just in a sexual sense.

Be nice to your family (they support you more that you know), reconnect with old friends, hug your nephew (and not just for a selfie). These are things of value. Revel in it – this matters. When you're on your deathbed, the guy that likes your selfies across the country and your favorite celebrity who you'll go to WAR for in the comment section – they won't be there. Don't forget to live in YOUR moment with the people you're surrounded by. Understand the difference. Remember: Comparison is the thief of joy.

Just because someone is worshipped on social media and are #GOALS, doesn't change the fact that their mom is sick, their brother hits the bottle, or whatever their personal case may be. Social media only shows a small portion of someone, so don't let someone's account make you feel any less of the person you are. Everyone has skeletons in their closet. Know your worth and hold yourself at high value.

Also, just because someone likes your pics doesn't mean you owe them your world.
They tapped their thumb twice on a phone, that's not enough effort to win you. They betta WORK – never forget your worth. You don't need to conform. Live your life and passions with all of your being, and do something you love for a CAUSE and not an APPLAUSE. The rest will follow. You are enough. TC mark

What You Fear The Most, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Posted: 21 Jul 2016 06:00 PM PDT

Joel Sossa
Joel Sossa

Aries

(March 21st to April 19th)

An Aries is conflicted all the time. They want adventure, but they also want peace. They don't want a boring life, but they want to make sure that their relationships and companionships are long lasting and not just fleeting. Their insecurity causes them to live in perpetual fear of being broken up with, or left by a best friend.

Taurus

(April 20th to May 21st)

A Taurus is very grounded and reliable, they crave harmony in their life. Therefore, they are terrified of being outside of their comfort zone, and they fear inconsistency the way some people fear physical things like snakes or spiders. The idea of being challenged comfort wise causes acute problems for a bull, like chest pain, and emotional meltdowns.

Gemini

(May 22nd to June 21st)

The main facet of any Gemini personality is expression. Therefore, they often fear not being able to express themselves fully. They are scared that they will be blocked from following their passions, and often worry that they aren't as talented or intelligent as they think they are.

Cancer

(June 22nd to July 22nd)

A Cancer deeply fears rejection. Due to having so many feelings, and due to being so emotionally sensitive, the Cancer has a large capacity to love. They fear never being able to find someone who can handle all of what they have to offer, and they fear putting their heart out there just to have it turned down.

Leo

(July 23rd to August 22nd)

Though the Leo presents to the world this idea of a fearless leader, the Lion fears that it will be undervalued and under-appreciated. The fear of being unnoticed runs very deep in the Leo, and their insecurity sometimes knocks them right off their feet.

Virgo

(August 23rd to September 22nd)

Virgos hate chaos. They genuinely fear it. They like being on time, and they like order. When things are not efficient and orderly, a Virgo is terrified.

Libra

(September 23rd to October 22nd)

Libras fear confrontation, and they will do absolutely everything in their power to keep things harmonized. They strive to make people happy. Libras are terrified of causing other distress, and hurting the feelings of those around them. They never want to upset people, and it really scares them to think that they could potentially say something or do something and unintentionally stress someone out.

Scorpio

(October 23rd to November 22nd)

Scorpios fear failure and disappointing those they care most about. They are wildly insecure inside when it comes to certain things, and they fear that they will not live up to the expectations they set out for themselves, and the dreams they foster. Above all else, Scorpios fear vulnerability, and they are afraid of others knowing their deepest feelings.

Sagittarius

(November 23rd to December 21st)

Due to their neverending energy, a Sagittarius often fears being controlled. They desire to explore, to adventure and to live as freely as possible. They are terrified of settling for a life that is not filled with all of those things, and they cannot stand the idea of being trapped in mediocrity.

Capricorn

(December 22nd to January 20th)

A Capricorn's main goal is to achieve everything they have ever dreamed of. They are full of ambition and motivation, and their drive is inspiring. Underneath it all, however, they are extremely scared that they are not good enough or talented enough to meet their expectations. They often fear that no one understands what they are trying to do with their life.

Aquarius

(January 21st to February 18th)

The one thing that an Aquarius fears the most would be isolation from their loved ones. They truly hate the idea that one day the could lose those close to them, and completely get cut out of the life of someone who they consider important.

Pisces

(February 19th to March 20th)

To a creative and sensitive Pisces, criticism is a terrible thing. They fear confrontation to the point of needing to run away from it in order to avoid being called out or hurt. They simply cannot handle judgement. TC mark

This Profound Tumblr Post PERFECTLY Explains What Guys Don’t Get About Being Female

Posted: 21 Jul 2016 05:15 PM PDT

Movie Poster
Columbia Pictures

Oftentimes it can be difficult to understand an identity you aren’t apart of, and it can be hard to relate with the everyday things other identities have to put up with. Women, for instance, are subject to a great number of shallow stereotypes in their TV and movie portrayals.

After seeing the new “Ghostbusters” movie, this woman managed to help a guy understand a few things about the female experience.

Read On:

Tumblr

The guy didn’t understand how women were forced to constantly see their gender relegated to pointless “eye candy” roles on television and TV. He didn’t understand that this was something females deal with constantly. He didn’t understand that, but I think now he does! TC mark

6 Things You Realize About Being Single When You’re A 20-Year-Old Virgin

Posted: 21 Jul 2016 05:00 PM PDT

Edwoodya / www.twenty20.com/photos/15a2f34f-9fff-4991-b027-86a72909e9ec
Edwoodya / www.twenty20.com/photos/15a2f34f-9fff-4991-b027-86a72909e9ec

As a 20-year-old guy who has never had a girlfriend I’ve had people think I’m either weird, gay, fugly, or, I don’t know, just some kind of loser. I’m pretty much sure that some other guys even find me pathetic and see my virginity level as 101%. But, believe it or not, I enjoy being single and here are six things that being single has made me realize. 

1. You Don’t Have The Stress Of Commitment While You’re Young

Don’t get me wrong though, I did had several flings and MUs (Mutual Understandings) to what they call it. I also did try to court girls, but apparently it didn’t last. I don’t know, maybe that’s why I never had a girlfriend because of my commitment issues. I mean I tried to give both time and effort, but maybe I just didn't give my whole 100%. You see, back when I was in high school, I did get rejected several times, and the one that was most painful was being rejected by your first high school love.

Anyway, one thing I've learned was in a starting relationship, never invest too much emotion, because you never know what happens next. Weigh things out, don't let your emotions control your decisions. With that, I did enjoy having not to stress on giving my whole commitment to anyone. Well, I know someday I will, but right now I'm happy being single.

I've also come to realize I enjoy prioritizing the things I want to do for myself, because if I go into a relationship, I want to be 100% ready and be able to give my whole commitment to the person I love. For now, I want to prepare myself for my future bride to be and overcome the things I would want to overcome like my freakishly weird commitment issues. 

2. You Start To Think You Might Be Ugly

There will be days when you look at yourself at the mirror and ask, "Am I Ugly?"

Well as an insecure kid, I did question that several times. But hey, time passed and I overcame my insecurities and learned to love myself for who I am. I mean God gave me this face, and I'm truly grateful for it. Modesty aside, as I became more confident, girls started to like me more. I felt I was such a heartthrob.

Okay now I think I'm being overly confident. Anyway, the best way to overcome your insecurities is being thankful for the gift God has given you, and as Justin Bieber says in one of his songs, "You should go and love yourself" (well of course, not in a creepy narcissistic way though). 

3. You Get To Really Enjoy your family and friends

Don’t get me wrong, I'm not saying that being in a relationship would put you in a state of having no more time for both your family and friends. What I'm saying is that you can spend more time with them if you’re single.

4. You’re Truly Independent

At the age of 17 I started to live alone to pursue my college education. I was alone in my apartment and it really taught me to be both responsible and independent. Being single for so long has allowed me to be independent and I found happiness in other ways like; with the company of my friends, going out, eating and just chillin'.

If one of the reasons a person wants to be in a relationship is just so they’ll never be lonely then they should think again. Being in a relationship is not a past time or something to do when you're bored. Being in a relationship requires you to give your love, time, commitment and efforts. Being in a relationship is no game. So for me, I would prefer to prepare myself and get to know me more before sharing my life with my future bride.

5. You'll be a deep thinker

You'll learn to think things through before doing a decision. Well sometimes being a deep thinker will allow you to become an over thinker and will sometimes drive you crazy, but the thing is you'll eventually realize that it too has its perks.

6. I'm in no rush to find "The One"

You'll eventually realize that there's no point in rushing yourself to find "the one". Believe in God's timing. Don't rush things. God is preparing you for the right time. So that if the day comes, "you'll be ready to say I do". So to my future wife, I will see you soon. TC mark

I Forgive You For Leaving Me When I Needed You The Most

Posted: 21 Jul 2016 04:15 PM PDT

Victoria Koh
Victoria Koh

I needed you.

I needed you to calm me down, to hold my hand, to wipe the tears from my cheeks, to pull me into one of those huge, warm hugs of yours and squeeze the sadness from my body like a wrung out sponge. I needed you to listen. I needed you to try to understand. I needed you for a thousand little moments of fear and frustration, to brush the hair back from my face and promise me that I was stronger than it seemed and that I would get through this.

But you weren't there.

I guess I thought you were perfect. I guess I held you to a higher, unfair standard, thinking that you would always be there when I called, no matter where or when. I guess that wasn't really fair.

I threw all my hope into you, thinking that you could save me. But I'm not angry that you didn't. Because I was forced to save myself.

I realize now that I was being selfish—asking you to drop everything in your life to be there for me when there was just no way you possibly could. I think I'm the one that needs to be sorry. Sorry for the bitterness I had towards you. Sorry for the anger. Sorry for finding myself so frustrated with you because you couldn't be what I needed you to be.

I'm sorry for blaming you when there was nothing you could have done.

And I forgive you for leaving me because now I understand that this wasn't your problem to fix, wasn't your battle to face.

I needed to learn how to pull myself from the rushing tide, how to keep my head above water. I needed to learn what it meant to be strong, truly strong. And I needed to learn those things on my own.

I needed to learn how to pray, rather than make someone my savior.

So thank you for not being here.

For whatever reasoning you had for not being around, for whatever turn and twist occurred in your life to bring you away from me, thank you for not being so available. For letting me face this alone.

I am stronger now. I am capable. And though it broke my heart, I forgive you. Because I know that you are imperfect, I know that you are flawed, I know that you can't be my everything, and I love you, still. TC mark

44 Hilarious E-Cards That Explain Exactly How You Feel About All Of Life’s Frustrations

Posted: 21 Jul 2016 04:00 PM PDT


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TC mark

To The Girl Who Always Ends It Before It Even Begins

Posted: 21 Jul 2016 03:15 PM PDT

 Luke Gottlieb
Luke Gottlieb

Maybe she's scared or doesn't want to be tied down or just simply wants to be naïve and unassuming whenever she meets a guy that she thinks she could grow to like.

Every time she realizes that this particular guy is acting strange, you know, like giving her extra attention, saying sweet things to her that her guy friends don't usually say or just communicating with her almost everyday, she immediately does this thing that she reprograms her mindset and filters every single possible assumption on why this particular guy is doing these things to her into something with no malice at all. She would just think, 'no this is nothing, he does this to everyone' or he's just kind, that's all.

She keeps her heart safe that way. This girl has severe trust issues. It wasn't her fault though. A guy from a long, long time ago caused this.

He played her and played her well with his mind games and when she thought that what they had was heading towards something real, the horrible truth that broke her heart but accepted with a fake laugh made her built those walls around her heart and promised herself that she would never let herself believe anything a guy would say to her.

She never had a legitimate relationship with anyone before but she had her few 'almosts'. It was too late when she realized where things between her and this particular guy could possibly be heading. It was too late when she realized that if she could have just opened up herself a little more, she could have seen the possibility that this guy that she liked could like her back too. That if she didn't build those walls too high, she could have believed that she deserves to be loved for real. No games. No pretense.

She doesn't believe that someone could like her in that way, though, not anymore. That someone could love her. Choose her. Want to be with her and stick with her. She thinks that she's not enough. Maybe she thinks that way because that's how they made her feel.

Or maybe that's how she wants to believe in so that she wouldn't expect anything from them. So that she wouldn't misinterpret them and assume that they could have feelings for her.

She has learned to be contended with the love that she gives herself and with the love that her closest friends and family give to her. But there are times that she couldn't help but wonder, what if?

What if I let them in? What if I gave it a chance? What if I didn't run away? What if I didn't assume right away that he just wanted to be friends? What if he wanted to be more but I didn't consider the idea because I just didn't think that someone like him could like someone like me? What if…..

What if I was brave enough to get hurt if it really turned out that he just wanted to be friends? What if I was brave enough to say to him that I like him and that he's all I think could about? What if I wasn't too caught up with my pride and texted him first? What if I told him that was falling for him and asked him if he felt the same way?

All the 'what ifs' in her mind couldn't bring the past back. But she still finds herself in the same cycle. Someone comes along, connection and affection grows between them, she freaks out and then runs away.

She wants to do it differently this time. She wants everything to be clear. She wants to give herself a chance to feel the things that she never felt before.

The good things as well as the bad things that come along with falling in love. She doesn't want to admit it but she wants feel it all. She's just scared that in the end she would get played again and would look stupid.

She doesn't want to end things before it even begins, anymore.

And now that she realizes all this, she realizes too that maybe it's too late to finally give them a chance. TC mark

This Is Why You’re Kind Of A Terrible Person, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Posted: 21 Jul 2016 03:00 PM PDT

Luke Gottlieb
Luke Gottlieb

Aries

(March 21st to April 19th)

An Aries tends to be rude. They revert to using bad language and insults when provoked in any situation, and will always play the devil's advocate. They tend to use their strengths in the wrong ways, which is why they are often so internally conflicted.

Taurus

(April 20th to May 21st)

A Taurus has a tendency to deny any and all responsibility when it comes to tough situations or problems. They never want to deal with anything, and will ignore their faults. A Taurus also doesn't have a very strong backbone when it comes to sticking up for themselves, so they will try to get out of issues to avoid conflict. This causes a lot of anxiety for them, and creates more problems in the long run because they are always taking the easy way out.

Gemini

(May 22nd to June 21st)

At their worst, a Gemini is often all over the place. They can be scatter-brained, and often won't correct themselves if they do happen to make mistakes. They will never apologize, and will shout if someone calls them out for being a little hardened to judgement.

Cancer

(June 22nd to July 22nd)

At their worst, a Cancer tends to butt into matters that don't really concern them. They can be very judgemental and guarded, while their need to protect themselves allows for them to come off in a "holier than thou" light.

Leo

(July 23rd to August 22nd)

At their worst, the Leo is overly excitable, and they hang around with the wrong people as is it hard to know who your real friends are when you have such a large group of people who want a piece of you. They are bad listeners, and they cannot apologize for being wrong when they are very clearly at fault.

Virgo

(August 23rd to September 22nd)

At times, Virgos can be hard to get to know. They are so scared of being rejected and misunderstood that they close themselves off and hide behind their shy nature. When they open up, however, they can be suffocating and over-protective. In smaller friend groups, Virgos can succumb to gossip.

Libra

(September 23rd to October 22nd)

At their worst, Libras hide behind masks. You never know what they are truly feeling, and they put on an overly confident front in order to seem agreeable and charming. Behind the mask, the Libra can be very self doubting, lazy, and avoidant — the complete opposite of what they put out into the world.

Scorpio

(October 23rd to November 22nd)

At their worst, Scorpios tend to ramble and they have a stubborn way of thinking that makes them believe in their wants above anything else. They can be overly confident when they are allowed to run with their ideas, and this can get them into a lot of trouble. They can offend a lot of people with their tendency to isolate themselves and shut down, and their need to be sneaky and controlling can cause those around them to feel manipulated and untrustworthy of them.

Sagittarius

(November 23rd to December 21st)

At their worst, a Sagittarius will simply hear what they want to hear, and this can often cause them to disregard others and the feelings they hold. Sagittarians often interrupt people, and they don't allow others to get many words in, which makes people feel inferior and upset. They can take things too far, and they never pick up on the fact that they have hurt others — they are extremely oblivious.

Capricorn

(December 22nd to January 20th)

At their worst a Capricorn is always hiding some aspect of themselves from their friends, because they are so serious about being composed. They use silence as a weapon, and they are master manipulators. When angered they can be extremely mean, and they go to extremes when their emotions are not balanced.

Aquarius

(January 21st to February 18th)

At their worst, an Aquarius can come off as an intense creep. They try too hard and often fish for sympathy, attention and validation. They cannot pick up on social cues, and tend to be very invasive without even realizing it. Before they know it, they have often taken things way too far and they have gone and upset a lot of people with their mindlessness.

Pisces

(February 19th to March 20th)

At their worst, a Pisces will take things way too seriously, and they will go to extremes emotionally. They can be reckless, self destructive, and their need to escape upsetting situations often causes them to isolate themselves and hide without every taking responsibility for their actions. TC mark

17 Guys Get Real On One Thing They Still Miss About Their Ex To This Day

Posted: 21 Jul 2016 02:15 PM PDT

_eatandlove_
_eatandlove_

1. “I’m kind of a cover hog, and so she’d always end up in this little ball beside me to keep warm in the middle of the night. My new girlfriend is a bed hog who sprawls out, and we’re definitely not as ‘sleep compatible.’ There was something really sweet about the way my ex slept next to me, and I miss it a little bit.” — Nathan, 25


2. “She never complained about being the one to take the dog out in the morning. Not once. Did it every day without a word.” — Kevin, 22


3. “She’d do this thing where she’d always add ‘for now’ onto the end of her goodbyes. So she’d kiss me and say, “Bye for now.” So it was never definite. There was something really poetic about that and it crosses my mind every now and then wondering if she said it in her head when we ended.” — Igor, 28


4. “She had a great rack. Like seriously, they looked like they were photoshopped or something.” — Kyle, 27


5. “She was probably the least judgmental person ever and encouraged me to go travel and find myself, even if it couldn’t be with her. I’ll never forget or be able to thank her enough for it.” — Andreas, 29


6. “He had an outlook on life that can only be described as fun. He was one of those people who could make any situation turn into the best day ever or a ridiculous party. It’s a little bit more up in the air and sporadic than what I’d want for my ‘real life’, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss having that around me from time to time.” — Robert, 26


7. “Every night before we’d go to bed she’d tiptoe it up to my forehead and kiss me goodnight. It was super cute and endearing and one of the best things about having girlfriend who was so affectionate.” — Ben, 24


8. “She wasn’t afraid of taking charge over things if she knew the right way to do them. It was her best and worst quality.” — Josh, 27


9. “She was super enthusiastic about getting to know my interests and learning about them. She wasn’t just ‘along for the ride’ — she genuinely wanted to be a part of things. That was really cool and a weirdly hard to find trait in a person.” — Scott, 25


10. “He was never afraid to jump in and protect me. I always knew he had my back even if I was (maybe) wrong.” — Tripp, 22


11. “She absolutely never faked it and taught me more about sex than I could’ve ever hoped to know in this lifetime. I definitely still masturbate to her. Can’t lie about it.” — Xavier, 26


12. “I just always KNEW how much she cared about me, and that was really amazing. It’s one thing to know that you love someone…but to KNOW you’re loved? That’s really incredible. I hope I find it again someday and that we’re both ready to make it last.” — Adam, 24


13. “She was one of the feistiest, most outspoken people I’ve ever come across and I so, so admired that quality. In the end we ended up not being compatible in other areas but I’ll always miss watching her stand up for things she believed in. It was pretty cool to get to witness.” — Garrett, 28


14. “She had no problem telling me when I was wrong. At the time it annoyed the shit out of me but now, I know it was pretty dope having someone who wasn’t afraid to call me out when I needed it.” — Stephen, 25


15. “Even if she barely slept or if we’d had a fight or whatever, she always made sure to make coffee in the morning and make sure my keys were right next to the pot so I wasn’t searching for them. She definitely wanted to take care of me and it was really nice to be around.” — Joey, 29


16. “I could tell how much she wanted to be with me and be my girlfriend. Hey, it’s awesome to feel wanted. Anyone who says otherwise is wrong or hasn’t felt it.” — Travis, 23


17. “She brought out a spark in me I’ve yet to find somewhere else. There was this chemistry that was pretty undeniable. Maybe we’ll find our way back together someday but for now, I’m at least grateful I know that can exist between two people.” — Tommy, 27 TC mark