Thought Catalog


I Want To Fuck You When Your Roommate Isn’t Home

Posted: 22 Jul 2016 08:15 PM PDT

Bianca des Jardins
Bianca des Jardins

I don’t write erotica, I tell you. And then put my pen to your paper and start imagining all the rooms I could make you moan.

I don’t know what this is. But it’s the kind of thing I can’t stop. It’s the kind of thing that has me awake at 4 AM thinking of your lips.

You’re from New York, which means you know how to deal with humidity. Excuse my Californian ways, how I wipe the sweat from my brow and tell you I’m not used to this kind of heat. I run my fingers through your brown locks and you say, “People get used to the temperature.” I don’t know if you mean this city or your body. Either way, I’m willing to learn.

I’m a willing student.

You tell me stories from your past and I’m not sure if this is to impress me or scare me. Either way, my mouth is here. Either way, my mouth is waiting for its moment. You’re everything I’m not supposed to want. Which means you’re all that I think about when I’m in the shower. You think I haven’t played this scenario out a hundred times?

You think I haven’t imagined
your hands all over me?

You think I haven’t been waiting all this time
just to taste you on my skin? TC mark

38 Horror Movies You Can Watch On Netflix Right Now For The Ultimate Spooky Summer

Posted: 22 Jul 2016 08:10 PM PDT

Creep

Creep
Creep

Some jobs off of Craigslist are creepier than others. (See what I did there?)

The Houses October Built

The Houses October Built
The Houses October Built

When a “set up” haunted house becomes actually scarier than a “real” haunted house, you know shit’s going down.

Taking of Deborah Logan

The Taking Of Deborah Logan
The Taking Of Deborah Logan

What’s scarier than losing a loved one to Alzheimer’s disease? This. This is scarier than that.

Dead Silence

Dead Silence
Dead Silence

If you’re afraid of ventriloquist dummies… watch this one! There’s no dummies in it! It’ll be fine. (I lied, it’s chock full o’ dummies.)

Children of the Corn

Children of the Corn
Children of the Corn

Gives you something to think about when you’re driving on summer vacation and passing all those miles of cornfields. Not something nice, but something.

Wes Craven's New Nightmare

Wes Craven's New Nightmare
Wes Craven’s New Nightmare

Nothing will ever top the idea that Freddy Krueger is real and scares the shit out of Robert Englund. NOTHING.

The Babadook

The Babadook
The Babadook

Marvel in the cinematic tension, root for the Most Obnoxious Kid On Earth to get eaten.

Dark Skies

Dark Skies
Dark Skies

“I want to believe!” No. No you really don’t.

The Unborn

The Unborn
The Unborn

Sexy lady in her panties, demons, and also Gary Oldman is there!

Hush

Hush
Hush

As if home invasion wasn’t scary enough, what if you were robbed of one of your most basic senses? Yikes bikes.

The Ward

The Ward
The Ward

“Girl, Interrupted” but 100% more spookiness!

The Rite

The Rite
The Rite

THE POWER OF ANTHONY HOPKINS COMPELS YOU!

The Lazarus Effect

The Lazarus Effect
The Lazarus Effect

I don’t know how they got Mark Duplass, Olivia Wilde, Donald Glover, AND Evan Peters into one decent horror movie, but gosh darn it, they DID!

Curse of Chucky

Curse of Chucky
Curse of Chucky

Fun fact: the leading lady is played by Fiona Dourif — Brad Dourif’s (voice of Chucky) daughter!

We Are Still Here

We Are Still Here
We Are Still Here

Steps of grief: one, buy haunted house. Two, regret step one.

Housebound

Housebound
Housebound

What’s worse than house arrest? House arrest in a haunted house. What’s worse than that? Well… just watch the movie.

The Exorcist

The Exorcist
The Exorcist

If I have to explain why this film is worth your time, GTFO.

V/H/S

V/H/S
V/H/S

Why settle for one fucked up story when you could have SIX instead? Anthologies rule.

Odd Thomas

Odd Thomas
Odd Thomas

A little bit of horror, a little bit of action, a whole lot of fun.

Ava's Possessions

Ava's Possessions
Ava’s Possessions

Imagine coming down from a bender and having to make up for your inappropriate behavior, except the bender was being you possessed by an ancient demon. Yeah, basically that.

Honeymoon

Honeymoon
Honeymoon

Yeesh, and you thought YOUR last vacation was bad.

V/H/S/ 2

V/H/S 2
V/H/S 2

More outdated media, more terrifying tales to enjoy!

Dreamcatcher

Dreamcatcher
Dreamcatcher

Sure, Boy’s Night Out in the snowy abandoned wilderness is a great idea, Red-Haired-Guy-From-Homeland. SURE.

The Den

The Den
The Den

I’m pretty sure Chat Roulette isn’t still a thing, but if it is, this will convince you it should not be a thing anymore.

Contracted

 Contracted
Contracted

If you considered “It Follows” to be a movie about the horrors of STDs, well… um… this takes it up a notch.

All Cheerleaders Die

All Cheerleaders Die
All Cheerleaders Die

High school totally sucked, am I right? Well, this high school ACTUALLY sucks. Like, by biting down with teeth and… you get the idea.

They Look Like People

They Look Like People
They Look Like People

Everyone has bad days. You miss a bus, you lose your job, you start to suspect the world is being taken over by evil creatures. We’ve all been there.

Cujo

Cujo
Cujo

Remember, folks: always vaccinate your pets. Or they may eat you.

V/H/S: Viral

V/H/S Viral
V/H/S Viral

Straight from VHS tapes to new media and stuff that hasn’t been invented yet… I won’t say they didn’t jump the shark because hey, look at that shark they’re jumping over, but it’s still a romp.

American Mary

American Mary
American Mary

Body modification to the MAX.

Hellraiser

Hellraiser
Hellraiser

And that, children, is why we never play with demonic puzzles offering vague promises that can be misconstrued in terrible ways.

The Sacrament

The Sacrament
The Sacrament

It’s Jonestown. I mean, it’s awesome and scary and well-done, but it’s totally Jonestown. Let’s be real.

We Are What We Are

We Are What We Are
We Are What We Are

They’re a close family. Like, real close. Like, too close.

Inner Demons

Inner Demons
Inner Demons

“I’ve got a lot of people here who love ya like crazy and are scared to death of bein’ murdered by ya. Will you take this gift and get that demon outta you?” – Jeff VanVonderen, probably

Starry Eyes

Starry Eyes
Starry Eyes

I know they say some people will do anything for stardom, but this is… excessive.

Dead Snow

Dead Snow
Dead Snow

Two words: Nazi. Zombies.

Re-Animator

Re-Animator
Re-Animator

Fair warning: there is a scene involving a severed head that you can never unsee. Do not come back here and say I didn’t warn you.

A Good Marriage

A Good Marriage
A Good Marriage

Spoiler: it’s not a good marriage. Not at ALL. TC mark

Why Someone Should Date You, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Posted: 22 Jul 2016 08:00 PM PDT

Jérôme Licht
Jérôme Licht

Aries

(March 21st to April 19th)

An Aries is knowledge seeking, and a born leader. They are so much more than they appear to be, and will always be able to take on many roles and forms in their relationships. They will always be the happy, optimistic one when things get tough, and inspire people in that sense to see the bright side of things.

Taurus

(April 20th to May 21st)

A Taurus holds within them extraordinary potential, and they are extremely strong individuals. They take life as it comes, and always find a way to roll with the punches. They are kind, very friendly, intelligent, funny creatures who hold within them a rare and beautiful sensitivity. They are revered by many different groups of people and are impressively creative.

Gemini

(May 22nd to June 21st)

At their best, a Gemini is strongly adaptable and resourceful. They are always good at what they put their mind to, and they are ridiculously intelligent. They are so much fun, and they inspire people to live their lives to the fullest.

Cancer

(June 22nd to July 22nd)

At their best, a Cancer is a hard working, deeply sensitive person. They try to protect every heart they encounter, and really act like a nurturing force in so many lives. It is rare to find someone who cares as much as a Cancer, and it is their best attribute.

Leo

(July 23rd to August 22nd)

At their best the courageous Leo is strong, and has an amazing, protective attitude towards their friends. They care very deeply for those close to them. The Leo is the bravest sign in the Zodiac, often doing whatever they are required to do despite being scared or in danger. They are thoughtful, kind, and generous, and this is why they are so well liked.

Virgo

(August 23rd to September 22nd)

At their best, a Virgo is skilled in so many areas. They have an eye for beauty that inspires a lot within them, and their protective nature is very nurturing for those who are lucky enough to experience it. A Virgo will always strive to do the best possible job for others, and cares so deeply about being thoughtful and inclusive.

Libra

(September 23rd to October 22nd)

At their best, Libras are fun loving people who think ahead. They are not to be underestimated, as they are seriously observant and have a lot to offer people who pick their brain. They are quirky and clever, and have an artistic charm to them that is irresistible.

Scorpio

(October 23rd to November 22nd)

At their best, Scorpios are confident and determined individuals who are full of surprises. They are clever, and they always have something brewing in their minds. Their vision is incredible. Scorpios also foster a lot of willpower, and are very dedicated and loyal to the things and the people they care about. They will always fight their own battles, and they never give up. They are dynamic and deep, and are so beautifully emotional when they are harmonized.

Sagittarius

(November 23rd to December 21st)

At their best, a Sagittarius is extremely loyal, strong and faithful to their beliefs. They have a variety of interests and they are extremely diverse human beings. They will always make something work because they will never give up when things get tough. They are experts at moving on, and they can rebuild themselves time and time again whenever things turn sour due to their incredible strength and independence.

Capricorn

(December 22nd to January 20th)

At their best, a Capricorn is a very relaxed person. They are always open to listen to people when they need them, and they will check up on friends they are worried about. They take things as they come, are very faithful and loyal, and they try their hardest to foster a lot of optimism in their life.

Aquarius

(January 21st to February 18th)

At their best, an Aquarius is strong in their convictions. They have the capacity to change the world with their beliefs, and their goals, because they will fight to the end to achieve what they want to achieve. They will always go after what they want and take chances. They are intelligent, goofy and a giant kid at heart, which makes them extremely charming and loveable.

Pisces

(February 19th to March 20th)

At their best, a Pisces is filled with such a beautiful capacity to nurture and feel. They are caretakers, and will do anything to show you that they are there for you. They treat everyone as their equal, and they are cheerful and inspiring people. They are fun, kind, and they will always treat people the way they want to be treated. Pisces often need to be protected, that is how rare and stunning their hearts are. TC mark

What Every Man Needs To Know About Creating The Sexual Tension Women Crave

Posted: 22 Jul 2016 07:15 PM PDT

Joel Sassa
Joel Sassa

If you had to choose only one thing you could make a woman feel to guarantee she wants to sleep with you, sexual tension would have to be at the top of the list.

Take it from me, we LOVE it when a man knows how to slowly build the tension to the point where it feels like the vibe between us is just oozing with sex.

Problem is, most men DON'T know how to do this.

Not even close.

So I've put together a video explaining how to do so, including 3 principles you need to always follow.

Are you doing all 3 of these things?

If so, you're definitely in the minority.

And what's really interesting is men weren't always so bad at this. A generation ago, men seemed to have a much greater ability to generate sexual tension.

But why is that?

Here's 3 things that I put it down to.

1. Too much porn

Every piece of porn ever produced for male consumption is the exact opposite of what sexual tension1 is all about.

Women are all nymphomaniacs ready to get their freak on at the drop of a hat, no matter where they are or who they're with.

This may be the male fantasy, but it sure as hell isn't OUR fantasy.

We need time to get turned on, to really let that arousal build up inside our mind and our body.

That's just the way we're built.

If you've grown up on a diet of daily porn, your perception of what women really want and what arouses us is going to be seriously skewed.

So if you want to watch porn, go for your life. Just realize that what you're seeing is a complete fantasy and not going to help you with women in the real world.

2. Technology

It used to be that we'd go out at night, be approached by a man, flirt for a few hours, give him our number and wait a couple of days for him to call.

During that time our mind would be racing with possibilities and a certain amount of sexual tension would exist naturally when we saw him again.

Sadly, scenarios like this are becoming rarer by the day.

Nowadays it seems a guy's idea of flirting and building sexual tension is to swipe right on a girl and text her, "Hey do you want to f@#k?"

Believe it or not, but being treated as a prostitute isn't all that appealing or sexy to the average woman.

The thing is, Tinder and other apps can be amazing for meeting women… when you use them the right way.

Rather than being so sexually direct and crude with your messages, give subtlety a try.

We actually love it when a man can allude to sex and make us thing about it without having to mention it directly.

Our imaginations are incredibly powerful, so give us a chance to use them rather than trying to use every dirty four-letter word you know.

It kills the sexual tension before it's even begun.

3. Bad information

There seems to be more men today struggling with how to attract women than there was 50 years ago.

Yet there's a thousand times more information on the subject now than there was back then.

Coincidence? I think not.

Most of the information out there sucks.

That's just the truth.

Taking advice from men on what women really want is like getting legal advice from someone who's watched a few episodes of Law and Order.

It may seem like a good idea at the time but usually ends in disaster.

Instead, you need to actually hear the truth about women FROM a woman.

Thankfully, as your Wing Girl I've got you covered with How to Become a Man Women Want. TC mark

What The Hell Happened To Going Out On Dates? I’ll Tell You…

Posted: 22 Jul 2016 07:00 PM PDT

Nathan Walker
Nathan Walker

"Situationships are easier to come by, while relationships are way harder. What the hell has happened?"

A while back, contributor Caylie Jane raised the question, "What The Hell Happened To Going Out On Dates?” She states, "I'm racking my brain as to why the hell the world of dating has suddenly turned into a world of, "Let's snuggle at my place and watch a movie." Translation: "I'll let you choose the background noise while I try and get into your pants."

Caylie makes a rational point. By and large, the 50s dating style has been replaced with "Netflix and chill." The idea of romance now seems like something that only exists in movies. Chivalry isn’t practiced as much as it once was. We are texting more now rather than talking on the phone. We exchange sexy selfies instead of mix-tapes. This understandably leaves some women like Caylie frustrated, wishing things could go back to how it used to be. However, there is one simple truth that is staring these ladies right in the face.

Dating has changed this way because we have allowed it to.

This isn’t something we can just blame on modern male behavior. When it comes to dating and relationships, women are mostly in control of the situations and the direction that things are headed. This is because it’s generally natural for men to chase and women to choose. Even though many things have changed, one thing that hasn’t is that men are still doing more pursuing and asking out on dates. In fact, it appears as though this is their preference, according to a study in "Psychology Today" by associate psychology professor, Michael Mills, Ph.D. This puts women at an advantage because when they are in the choosing position, they get to set the parameters for what constitutes as a suitable date, and usually interested men will be agreeable to this. Somewhere along the way, this message has become lost to women, but the fact still remains true. The reason why dating has gotten so relaxed and lazy is because women have not been setting and enforcing their standards like they did in the past.

If you don’t want to go to his place to "hang out," then you’ll have to speak up. Remember, you set the parameters, but be reasonable.

It’s never too early to start drawing boundaries, and doing so is a key factor in earning the respect of anyone you invite into your life. If he refuses the idea of going on a real date, you can rest assured he wasn’t for you.

Another thing to consider is that some guys have become a bit displeased with a double standard. Today, women like to talk about gaining equality between the sexes, so it’s justifiable that sometimes men are left wondering why they keep having to pay for all these dates and women never do. They become suspicious that women are wanting all of the benefits but none of the responsibilities of this so-called equality. We can assume this is a probable reason why men would rather stay in than go out. In this case, you might want to think about where you stand.

Do you value equality or tradition? See if you can strike a fair balance.

Remember that in general, men still prefer to do the initial asking out, so they might not mind paying at first. Though, on future dates, many of them would probably appreciate a little more effort and initiative from you when it comes to footing the bill.

All things considered, it’s easy to see why women like Caylie seem to think relationships in our current climate are harder to come by, but we have to keep in mind that we can obtain better quality dating experiences by reclaiming our natural feminine influence. The power is still in your hands ladies, all you have to do is take it. TC mark

For All Those With A Dog Sleeping In Their Heart

Posted: 22 Jul 2016 06:00 PM PDT

micki
micki

There’s a beautiful poem that discusses at length that through the pain of losing your dog, there is still the beauty of having them in your life, as they are now merely living, and sleeping, in your heart.

That beauty, however, is hard to grasp, in the moments after you nonchalantly pick up your cell phone one late January afternoon only to hear your dad, choking on his rarely emotion-filled voice, as he manages to tell you that your dog, your furry little sidekick of a semi-person, has left you, as well as this world.

It is hard to find the happiness in living with their wonderful memories of thirteen years, as your twenty-one-year-old self is slumped on your college apartment kitchen floor, sobbing for anything you are worth, over not having a worthy last goodbye to the most loving, unconquerable creature you had known.

You can’t quite understand what a gift you had in loving anything as much as you loved your eighth birthday present, as you instead unexpectedly return home for a funeral, and find yourself incapable of not crying yourself into unconsciousness your first night in a home that no longer hears the padding of paws through its suddenly too silent halls.

And when you find their baby blanket, innocuously tucked into the backseat of your car, you aren’t entirely able to remember the lines of that poem while you hold onto the worn piece of fleece more tightly than you thought yourself able, once again sobbing more painfully than you realized was humanly possible.

There is Rainbow Bridge, and there is Heaven, and somewhere else there is hopefully a warm bed filled with non-squeaky squeaker toys and Bacon Bits, you rationalize, but at the same time, you argue with some unforeseen power that no, no matter how many indestructible toys and endlessly long stretches of grass on which to run, no, despite it all, they should be here with you. They should still be here, driving down Route 4 with you, lapping at the icy December air, and smiling that grin that only dogs know how to smile.

They should not be gone. They should still be with you. They should be with you, and you, and you, and you alone. They should not be gone.

And then, at some point, you wonder if these pleading demands, those hopeless bargaining chips of yours, are fair.

For in reexamining those same thirteen years of love and joy and laughs through your tears, you realize you are doing a discredit to those years, and to the years of a life so joyfully lived.

You wonder if it is fair to cry so frequently over the companion whose sole mission in this world was to love.

Is it right to forgo the moments and days and years filled with laughter over quirks, moments of pet-induced silliness, and unadulterated happiness, as you instead focus on the tangibly physical ache of missing their presence?

As you find yourself tearing up again in a moment where you too poignantly remember your impossible separation, you consider how that takes away from a moment in which you can relive an excited early morning wake up, a lazy afternoon, or the nightly routine of curling into a position that better suited their already sleeping frame in a bed that is truly only built for one.

You wonder if it is fair to have loved a creature so very much, and at the same time, you wonder how it is fair to then have to live a life without them.

But even as you wonder, and cry, and remember, and mourn, the all-encompassing narrative that surrounds these acts is united in the same theme of love, and love, and love.

That wonderful fuzzy semi-person who lived so joyfully, who you so unendingly protected, and who was so fiercely and endlessly loved, was nothing else if not comprised totally of love itself. A tongue-lolling, nap-loving, fur covered person with nothing else to do but love, and to be loved back.

The beauty of loving a pet lives on not only in having them sleeping in your heart, but in the fact that their lives are so wholly marked by love, and create in those lives, a legacy of love.

It is that legacy of love that ultimately leads us to heal, and leads us to loving the sleeping dogs in our hearts. It helps us to recognize and remember, to showcase our constantly remaining love through laughter and no longer tears.

That legacy of love allows us in six days, six months, or six years later, to carry on and embrace a new furry little companion, one who likes to eat underwear this time instead of dinner towels, who hops on two feet in excitement, and who also tries to eat chilly December winds while driving to a sandy, salty beach walk.

The beauty of having a dog sleeping in your heart is that while they may be gone, their love is not. The legacy of love that all of our dogs eventually leave us with is the truly beautiful aspect of these inexplicable relationships, and the most wonderful way to remember them by.

So, while you might not be able to listen to Miranda Lambert’s ‘House That Built Me’ because you too have your favorite dog buried in the yard, and while it still might make your heartstrings twinge every year their birthday passes, it is fair to still miss them.

It is fair to still wish they were with you, even as a new rambunctious pup, who is no less loved, sleeps peacefully in your lap.

And it is more than fair, under any and all circumstances, to still love them every day after which they are gone.

There is no expiration date on love, for any species.

Crying will come easily, once your dog first wanders off to a peaceful new place to sleep. But through the crying, do not forget to remember the endless, selfless love.

The legacy of every dog’s love never dies, and there is nothing more heartbreakingly beautiful, and more wonderful, than having that legacy to remember and to pass on.

So, while it is true that all dogs do definitely go to Heaven, it might just be that Heaven is a little sleepier, and a lot closer, we ever initially realized. TC mark

This Is Who You Should Never Date, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Posted: 22 Jul 2016 05:00 PM PDT

kaakamakaaka
kaakamakaaka

Aries: March 21st – April 19th

As an Aries, you are incredibly independent. You are used to being on your own and doing everything by yourself. Don’t ever date someone who can control you in any way and who doesn’t respect your own need for alone time. They will eventually smother you so much, you’ll get sick of them in the first month.

Taurus: April 20th – May 20th

Being a Taurus, you are stubborn and can get jealous easily. Don’t try to date the person who always loves to be the center of attention. Even though you are attracted to the charmers, they will be the people you least get along with. Stay clear!

Gemini: May 21st – June 20th

As a Gemini, you are quite affectionate and a social butterfly. Although this is usually a good quality, you shouldn’t date someone who is exactly like this. Your traits will clash instantly and you will become more competitive lovers instead of emotional and physical lovers.

Cancer: June 21st – July 22nd

With your mood swings, comes trust issues. You also are sensitive to your own feelings and can’t stand to have a partner who doesn’t validate that. Don’t ever date someone who is sneaky, and secretive with you. Once you have a suspicion that they are up to no good, there is no going back.

Leo: July 23rd – August 22nd

As a generous and loyal being, you can’t date someone who doesn’t give you affection. Don’t ever date someone who is too much of a “man” to cuddle or hug you in public. Dating someone who doesn’t give you praise and emotional support constantly is a no no.

Virgo: August 23rd – September 22nd

As a Virgo, you love pleasing people emotionally. Dating someone who doesn’t know how to communicate with you effectively is a rule breaker. You should never even try to date someone who is uneasy or unsure about “love” and has been broken in the past. You don’t need to worry about anyone else’s issues.

Libra: September 23rd – October 22nd

You are quite the diva and know that you should be treated like royalty. Don’t ever date someone who makes you insecure in yourself and who questions your worth. Dating a jock or a frat boy is not your type at all; they will just make you incredibly insecure.

Scorpio: October 23rd – November 21st

You are incredibly assertive and don’t take crap from anyone. If you are dating someone who can’t keep up with you, walk away now. As a fierce being, you shouldn’t date anyone who doesn’t know how to deal with your character.

Sagittarius: November 22nd – December 21st

As the loud and expressive human beings that we are, we can’t date introverts. It won’t mesh well with our nature. We can’t date anyone who won’t want to get to know our family and friends, just because they are “shy” or “nervous”.

Capricorn: December 22nd – January 19th

While passionately motivated, you are also controlling. You can’t date someone who won’t speak up for themselves when you being too stubborn for them. The person you date needs to be able to hold their own. The “nice” guy won’t cut it for you.

Aquarius: January 20th – February 18th

You are a bit shy in social settings and love to be on your own. Dating someone who feels the exact same way will do you harm. If you date someone like you, all you two will do is stay inside and learn nothing about one another. Don’t date the person who would rather chill with you in your house, than hanging out with your buddies.

Pisces: February 19th – March 20th

As a Pisces, you are deep and incredibly sensitive. With that sensitivity, you clash with people who lack empathy and who have big egos. Don’t ever date someone who loves themselves more than they love you. You also won’t get along with the people who make jokes all the time. Their jokes will usually get taken the wrong way and you will feel deeply hurt by them. TC mark

Maybe I Lost You, But I Found Myself (And I Am So Much Better)

Posted: 22 Jul 2016 04:15 PM PDT

tiffanythere
tiffanythere

You’re the You who everyone knows. The You who gave me the butterflies that everyone feels but always seem unique. The You who had the power to lift me up as easily as you could knock me down. The you who I made plans with that I never made with anyone before. The You who I honestly believed was forever. The You who I swore I would never lose.

It was my biggest fear. I used to wake up in the morning and think about how lucky I was to have you. Then I started to wake up in fear that it would be the day you said goodbye. There was a time when my feet couldn’t move fast enough to meet you. Then before I knew it, they were moving fast to try and catch up to you. All along, I knew that you were slipping away. It’s not a feeling that I can fully explain. The joy in your eyes turned tired. Your stories were getting shorter when you used to talk in circles. The late nights became early ones. The morning breakfasts were forgotten.

I should have pulled away. I should have known better. But you were the You. How could I let that go? So instead I used all my energy to try and keep you. I spent my days thinking about what you like. I would go shopping and look at clothes that I thought you would prefer. I started listening to new music with you in mind. I even ate food based on what you ate. I was so focused on being your You that I lost me.

Me.

Who was that?

I used to walk barefoot in the grass and bask in the feeling of the blades between my toes. Now they stabbed me. I used to say whatever was on my mind. Suddenly I was questioning my thoughts. I didn’t have time for my friends anymore. I didn’t have time to read or paint. My smile used to always reach my eyes. It soon became forced. I was so tired but I had no energy to sleep.

My priority was keeping a guy who didn’t want to be kept.

And in the end, I lost you anyway. The You who I didn’t think I could live without.

I once believed that that was the great tragedy of our story. I couldn’t get you to stay. I failed.

But that’s not the great tragedy, is it? Because I kept on living. The sun rose and I went about my days without you there. The difference was that I didn’t recognize me. I didn’t know who my own company was anymore. I definitely missed you.

I missed me more.

It has taken a long time to find me. I would find pieces in the smallest nooks of the world. My friends’ laughter, the cities I finally saw after years of promising “one day,” the freshly painted nails, and the books that came at the right time. I found me in the days with the perfect breeze and the nights of thunderstorms, tucked away in the folds of my blanket.

Most of all, I found me in the words. The words that I was terrified to write. The words that would make it all true. Now I can say it. I can write it.

The saddest chapter wasn’t losing you after all, it was losing me.

I’ll never get you back but I found myself.

And no other ending could ever be so happy. TC mark

The 6 Fuckboys Every 20-Something Girl Has Unfortunately Dated

Posted: 22 Jul 2016 04:00 PM PDT

John Tucker Must Die
John Tucker Must Die

1. The Cheapo

This guy’s first, middle and last name is CHEAPO in capital letters. Everybody loves a good bargain, everybody loves coupons, everybody loves a 2 for 1 deal but this guy takes his dates to Save­O­Mart Mall. You see, girlfriend, you spent 2 hours getting dolled up, makeup, hair and all that fancy shit only to get to a down the middle of the highway Starbucks. You know, philosophy, literature, art, history….there are just so many things he can offer you. Very few women can understand this type of ….philosophical man. His love transcends everything you’ve been taught about dating, including the $4 super skinny grande caramel praline latte you ordered (and paid for yourself). He raves and raves about how he’ll cook you up this amazing salmon dinner only to get there, wait for 1 hour, and get served Ramen noodles on a platter with a speck of cheese on top.

Oh, and that champagne bottle he also raved about? It’s back in the cupboard and for the sake of his pockets, he hopes you forgot about it. He just does SO much for you­ hour long intimate conversations about why there’s life on Mars ­ but you stuck up cunt just can’t get past his damn cheap ways. That $7 beer he bought you when you were out in the parking lot taking a stroll (for the 3rd date in a row because you were stupid), is that not being gentleman enough? We are living in a feminist world, for God’s sakes! Since when is a man obliged to pay our dinner dates? You got a hot date tonight, honey? Well, put on your mini­skirt, heels and lipstick and go impress that man, and if he’s shelling a whopping $10 on your watered­down cocktail, it’s blowjob time.

No, really. He wants you like you don’t want him.

2. The Houdini

This man is known for one thing, and one thing only (okay, two, if you count his schlong). Just when it gets hot and heavy, just when fireworks are about to start, just when the cake’s outta the oven…..he poofs! It’s been 3 days, you’re all pathetic and mopey by your phone going, “What the fuck just happened, Ashley?!” Yes, it’s true. No, I can’t see him. And neither can you. While you’re holding a vigil for Mr. Houdini, he’s rotating 20 other women on the side plus his ex. Meanwhile, you’re hitting the gym, tightening up your glutes (take that, asshole!) when BAM, he’s back with a text. Thanks to your family’s divorce, you wanna give Harry 9 more tries even if the sex was subpar. Him calling you back? Girlfriend, that’s a miracle only you, Jesus, and your $200 an hour shrink understand.

3. The Sexologist

If you like sex, this guy likes sex 20 times more plus handcuffs and whips. Pump and dump is his way of life. He can be really emotional, caring, and giving…..when he’s behind you, slapping your butt and pulling your hair. No date is complete without a handy. Sex is the gateway to Heaven. If he’s spent $49.99 (without tax and tips) on your outing and you’re not heading back to his place to find a deeper sense of Oneness with his crotch, don’t be surprised to die an old hag with 13 cats crapping your 25 square meter squalor. His dick is a shrine and the fact that you’re being all disrespectful and shit to it, is really not cool, girlfriend. Right now, his 4.5 inch pecker could be giving you mind­blowing volcanic orgasms, but noooo, you wanna call it a night. Next!

4. El Desesperado

This man will give you everything your girlfriend can you give, multiplied times 20. Did you get a call at 9 AM? 3 PM? 10 PM? How about at 11:39 PM? And those cutesy 20 texts throughout the day hello­ing, whats­uping and okay­ing you? Feeling a little dizzy from all that attention? Just lean on his shoulder, ’cause he’s going to be there for the next 3 years waiting for you to say, yes! I’m finally yours! Girlfriend, you’ve been bitching that men aren’t attentive enough and now you’re pulling a bitch face ’cause his phone calls have replaced your alarm clock? So you went out for coffee and it meant jack shit to you but since you’re such a nice polite girl, you couldn’t just be an asshole straight up and tell him, “You’re face sucks”. “Let’s just be friends” to him means, “I want you to pound me, but I’m playing r eal hard to get.” You know why the Titanic sank, right? ‘Cause there was too much baggage on board. Time to let one loose, screw saving lives.

5. The Dick Pic Sender

Sadly, this happens all too often in the dating world, well, if dating is even a proper word for watchamacall it these days. If you’re real lucky, you’ll have seen an average of 1 dick pic in your lifetime. But not all men are created equal. So, like, 4­5 unsolicited dick pics from more angles than his momma could remember. Guys, next time you wanna send a dick pic, please refer to Flowchart Nr. 34­9 on page 247 of “The Idiot’s Guide on How Not To Be A Dick….and more!”. But just remember, next time you want to click send on unsolicited dong pics, I’m going to be forwarding it to the cute State Trooper down my block :wink:wink: to hunt your ass down.

6. The Netflix Guy

Actually, this should go hand in hand with Nr. 1, but you know, it’s kind of like an epidemic with today’s cheap men. No, cheapskate, I don’t want to come chill at your place and ehem "watch" your $8 monthly Netflix. Unless you’ve spent a minimum of $200 on our outings, it ain’t happenin’!


So, dear men, please, do yourselves a favor, stay home, and save yourself a headache from us ruthless demanding inconsiderate women. Redtube is always free and those $8 could be spent drinking 6 beers instead of 1. Enjoy!

Read This If You Think You’re The Problem

Posted: 22 Jul 2016 03:15 PM PDT

 colettedominique
colettedominique

What if I'm the problem?

Every time I utter these words, my friends attack me because they think I'm undervaluing myself, but I always tell them that it's not a necessarily a bad thing. Being the problem is not as bad as it sounds.

When you're the problem, it means you don't want to settle.

It means you don’t just want to be with anyone, it means you’re waiting for the right person or the kind of love that you’ve been looking for. It means that you know when to try harder and when to walk away and it means that you are not afraid of expressing what you want or what you don’t want.

When you're the problem, it means you're still trying to figure out who you are.

If you fall for the 'wrong' people, it might be because you're still figuring out who you really are or you’re growing and you haven't completely found yourself yet to find the right one for you. Once you really have an idea about who you are, you'll find it easier to filter the wrong ones and give a chance to the right ones to come along.

When you're the problem, it means that you're brave.  

When you're 'too much' or 'too stubborn' or 'too honest,' it means that you fall in love fearlessly, it means that you don't care about the game or the rules and you just do whatever your heart tells you. When you tell people how you truly feel even if you don't know the answer that's when you know that you're not the problem at all. The more open you are about your feelings, the less problems you'll have.

Because the real problem is being someone you're not to please someone else. The real problem is lying to someone else and to yourself about how you feel.

But if you're only trying to find love and failing at it, then you're not the problem and it's not a problem no matter what anyone tells you.

The problem is staying when you have to leave. The problem is pretending to be friends with someone when you want more. The problem is chasing someone who wants to run away. The problem is begging someone to be with you and the problem is dropping your standards just to be with someone when you know someone out there can give you more.

When you're the problem, it means you're strong and anyone who has a problem with that is not someone you want in your life.  TC mark