Thought Catalog


15 People Spill Their Most Mortifying Sex Stories

Posted: 05 Jul 2016 08:00 PM PDT

OnaArtist.com
OnaArtist.com

1. "I was at a party and a guy I was dancing with wanted to hookup. We went upstairs to a bedroom and as things were starting to get hot and heavy my two friends walked in on us. Them walking in turned out to be a blessing because we soon found out that the kid whose room it was left his webcam on and we were about to be caught on camera." – Tabitha, 21


2. "I was on a family vacation on a cruise ship. It was the last night on the ship and I had been hitting it off really well with this guy on the ship. We figured since it was the last night and we'd ever see each other to hook up. Well instead of hooking up in a room or a normal place, we did it on the very front of the ship in the pitch-black night. It was fun, until three people walked out and saw us." – Samantha, 22


3. "Coming home drunk from the bar I had sex with my friend on his couch. My knee was throbbing after a little while because it was going through the cushions, but I was drunk so I didn't care. When I woke up in the morning and went out to the living room there was blood everywhere. I looked at my knee and I had gashed it open on the pull out bed underneath the couch. I just flipped all the couch cushions over and left." – Chelsea, 23


4. "I had sex with a random girl, the sex was fine, but after we finished she asked me to drop her off at her fuck buddy’s house…" – Jason, 22


5. "I was home visiting from college so I called up one of my old flings to hook up. I thought my period had ended, but I was so wrong. He stuck it in and there was blood everywhere. It was pretty embarrassing, especially because I called him to come over and hook up." – Aimee, 25


6. "I was hooking up with someone for the first time and he had a huge dick. I tried to give him head, but he pushed my head down further and it triggered my gag reflex. I threw up all over his lap. It's really funny now, but it was so terribly embarrassing at the time." – Jaime, 28


7. "We were doing anal and I had this overwhelming feeling that I pooped. We had to stop so I could sprint to the bathroom. It was a false alarm, but still. I literally asked him to stop so I could see if I just shit myself." – Daniella, 27


8. "In college I was having sex with this guy and I didn't know his friend was passed out drunk underneath his bed until he got up in the middle of it to make a hot pocket. It was more hilarious than mortifying, but it still makes for a good story." – Sofia, 23


9. "The most mortifying thing to ever happen to me was in high school. I took my mom’s car to pick up this guy I had been seeing. We went to a dirt road and pulled off the trail to hook up. About halfway through we heard music coming from down the trail so we stopped. We looked down the hill we were barely hidden on and saw that it was my ex boyfriend driving by. We just laid there awkwardly and panicked, but he never saw us. Thank God." – Justine, 23


10. "Easily my parents walking in on us mid bang. We didn't speak to each other for an entire two weeks after that. Way too awkward. Having sex in your own home is much better." – Brett, 27


11. "I got drunk and had sex in my car outside my friend’s house. A group of people from inside came out and started jumping on my car while we were banging in the backseat. It was embarrassing to say the least." – Jessica, 23


12. "I snuck a boy in my room when I lived with my parents in the middle of the night. We were in the middle of sex and we heard my doorknob turn. He darted into my closet butt ass naked and I pretended to sleep. I threw him his clothes in the closet and opened the window. He jumped out of it so fast and ran for his life." – Blair, 25


13. "I had sex in a dressing room and got arrested for it because I got caught. Don't fuck in dressing rooms. It didn’t turn out at all like I hoped." – Josh, 27


14. "I live in apartment with really thin walls and a girl I was hooking up with was loud, I mean really loud. She was yelling and screaming; I told her she had to keep it down because I had neighbors and sure enough those neighbors called the cops because they just heard repeated screaming from my apartment. The cops came and I had to explain over and over we were just having sex. They questioned me like I was hurting her. It was super awkward for the both of us." – Dan, 30


15. "I was blowing my boyfriend and I really don't know how this happened, but when he came his semen came straight out of my nose. I think I gagged at the same time and it hurt like hell and was painfully embarrassing at the same time." – Caillin, 20 TC mark

To My Fellow Women, Life Isn’t Just About Finding A Boyfriend

Posted: 05 Jul 2016 07:00 PM PDT

Gabi E. Mulder
Gabi E. Mulder

To the girls who go on dates after dates, looking for the “one”. For the women who hopelessly wait for the man of their dreams to show up at their door any second, and for the ones who feel miserable about themselves because they don’t have a significant other, life is so much more than a waiting game.

Life is so much more than finding a special someone. Life is about more than just a boy.

The first time I fell in love, I made the mistake of making him my life. Everything that I did, and everything that I thought about, was up to him. Because in my head, I thought that’s how relationships were supposed to be like. I was in love with him, but it wasn’t healthy. Thinking back to that time in my life, it was beautiful, but also very scary. I didn’t realize that I had lost myself in him. And I ultimately cared about him more than I cared about myself.

When it ended and I was left with just myself, I didn’t know how to cope. For so many years of my life, I depended on him and he depended on me. I didn’t know how to be happy with just me. I didn’t know how to live my life to the fullest if it wasn’t with him anymore.

It took a long time for me to love myself without a guy loving me too. It took a lot of months, and years to become whole without another human being by my side. And after I finally healed, and grew up more, I vowed to never do that again. I never wanted to lose myself in someone else again. I never wanted to grow so attached to someone, that without them, I would fall apart.

I am my own whole person without needing anyone else to make me smile. And you are your own person too.

You are allowed to be happy by yourself. You are allowed to live a full life without someone holding your hand every step of the way. After all, you are supposed to love yourself the hardest, not the fantasy in your head about the guy who will sweep you off your feet. 

It’s time to put your big girl shoes on now. It’s time to look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you are enough. You shine without needing a diamond ring on your finger. You shine without needing to be someone else’s sun. You are your own sun. And that’s how it always should be.

You need to put yourself first. Because at the end of the day, you are going to leave this earth by yourself just like you entered it by yourself.

You need to become your own best friend, your own mentor, your own therapist and your own hero.

Sweet girl, a boy isn’t going to save you. A boy isn’t going to magically make you happy. That’s all up to you. It’s all up to you.

So, please, I hope you know that you can actually take a deep breath by yourself without choking. I hope you know that you can jump without being scared of falling. This is your time to jump and to fly, to live fearlessly, to climb your own mountain, and to go out and live your life instead of waiting by an unopened window.

Open your doors for yourself, break down the locked windows, and jump down the tower you have built for yourself to hide from the world around you. Go outside and actually experience what it’s like to take a walk alone with just your thoughts. Drink coffee at a cafe without asking a friend to go with you. Enjoy yourself, and you will be surprised by what new things and what new people might come into your life.

So, stop waiting, and wishing. And start building your life to begin again. TC mark

When You Feel Too Independent For A Relationship

Posted: 05 Jul 2016 06:15 PM PDT

adventureblanket
adventureblanket

I’ve recently moved back in my with parents in between leases, and while it has been incredibly nice to spend time with my family, it has only made more apparently one of my personal weaknesses.

I don’t like explaining myself.

I don’t like telling people where I’m going, who I’m talking to, why I’m doing something. I don’t like chatting about things that I’ve already decided, and pretending to take input from other people when I know I’m not going to change my mind. Granted, sometimes I really want input and crave it from people, but sometimes I just want to take a few steps without explaining myself.

I think in many ways this contributes to my chronic singleness.

I have trouble making decisions with other people in mind. My ex-boyfriend always wanted to talk about our plans, and how we would stay together, and what we would do together. I don’t like taking other people into consideration when I make most of my choices — at least when it comes to very deep, personal choices. I am terrified of having to think of someone else when I think about moving, or taking different jobs, or just traveling in general. I don’t want to have to tell people who I was with, and how long we were together, and how we know each other. I feel like that’s a lot of what dating is.

“You were out with John? Whose John? What did you guys do together??”

STOP.

And like, I understand that in a healthy relationship trust builds over time and these conversations may be short-cutted or eliminated quite a bit, but like, my teeth grind at just the thought of having to distill my life down to other people. I like taking private phone calls, I like coming and going places as I please, I like being…free.

I value my independence above all else, which is what worries me the most about dating. I need space, like a lot of it. Like, maybe more than anyone can give me. I dunno.

And maybe I’m the only one who takes independence this far, but I don’t think it’s a bad thing. It might not be a “good thing” per se, but it might not be a bad thing either. Maybe we all just have to wait for the person to come along that we are willing to be accountable to. The person who is worth the sacrifice in independence. The person who is that awesome.

Maybe we aren’t willing to give up our freedom for just anyone.

Maybe that’s why we can’t handle casual relationships or dating “just to date.” But maybe one day, we’ll stumble into that person who will make it all worth it.

Luckily, until then, I don’t have to explain myself any further. TC mark

Date Someone Who Is Just As Weird As You Are

Posted: 05 Jul 2016 06:00 PM PDT

marcobertoliphotography
marcobertoliphotography

Dating a weird person is not a bad thing. In fact, it’s a really really good thing. Because, let’s face it, you’re weird as f*** too.

You dance in your underwear alone while singing into your hairbrush. You like to talk in different accents every two seconds. You talk really loudly in restaurants when it’s dead silent. You like to wear mismatched socks. You prefer silly faces over the popular duck face. You fall. A lot.

You aren’t exactly the picture of perfection.

You like to eat pizza with a fork. And you don’t care that you still cry when you listen to the Jonas Brothers.

We are all weird in our own ways. We all do things out of the norm. And we all make some people uncomfortable. So, instead of shying away from our weird tendencies and weird personalities, I think it’s about damn time we embrace ourselves.

Some people tend to date people who control their weirdness. They are cool, collected and unbothered. They say “thank you” and “please” in every other sentence. They sip tea with their pinky finger. They never say or do anything outrageous. They despise loud, obnoxious people who have their own opinions. They follow the crowd.

And maybe dating this type of person is your thing. Maybe you really are an alien too. But for us weird folks, we can’t be with someone who can’t make fun of themselves. We can’t be with someone who tries to pull in their weird habits, and who tries to change according to what society deems as acceptable. These people might be perfectly nice. And you might even like them for a bit.

But they are oh, so boring.

I mean, come on. Do you really think you are going to last with someone who is cookie cutter perfect in every way? Do you think you are going to fall in love with someone who can’t even embrace your personality? I really don’t think so.

Date someone who is just as weird and obnoxious as you are.

Date someone who has ugly face contests with you. Date someone who likes to yell at the type of their lungs just for fun. Date someone who has his own signature dance that makes every body stare at him in awe. Date someone who accepts your weirdness. And who laughs at himself as much as you laugh at yourself. Date someone who won’t be uncomfortable when you do something completely crazy at a party. Date someone who joins you dancing on top of tables. Date someone who won’t let go of the true you. Who loves you for you.

Don’t date the nice guy. Don’t date the boring guy. Don’t date the one who only tries to please other people. Date the guy who lives for himself. Who loves people. And who loves other weird people.

Date the guy who will love all of your weirdness for better or for worse.

He will never judge you, or tell you how to behave. He will never boss you around and try to mold you into something that society can accept. He will just love you. And that’s all you are going to need. TC mark

Ring Or No Ring, I Just Need You In My Life

Posted: 05 Jul 2016 05:00 PM PDT

ben_kelton_cycling
Kelton Wright

"I want you to propose," I said to him, so direct it surprised him. So direct it surprised me.

Marriage had come up with us before, but often within the conversational framework of contracts. I wasn't interested in buying a house before we were married. Nor was I interested in co-owning any vehicles without that piece of paper. And when he asked me that evening if I'd considered domestic partnerships because of the insurance benefits, I made myself clear. Overall, our views on marriage were similar in that we both saw it as something we would, as individuals, do and do once. But we approached it differently. He wanted to be absolutely certain. I was flummoxed at how, after a year, he wasn't. Both my maternal grandparents and my parents had been married within three months of their first dates. I grew up with the presumption that knowing if someone was right for you was the easy part. The rest would be hard work either way. So the investment to me was the contract. But to him, the contract came after building a life together. He'd asked me to move in before he'd even told me he loved me. I, exasperated, kept saying, "we can't yet," not wanting to provoke an 'I love you' rather than earn it. He wanted to buy a house together, he wanted to share insurance, essentially he wanted to see if the idea had legs before agreeing to anything, and I wanted to agree to something before putting in the work.

So no. I didn't look into domestic partnerships.

Two days later, he crashed head first into a rock wall going some 30 miles per hour—on a bicycle.

Ben is pursuing a career in professional cycling. Cycling is dangerous. And not just while racing, but also while training. You are exposed on your skinny wheels in your tight clothes on busy highways with steel monsters in a hurry to get to their desks. As Ben had said to me on more than one occasion, "crashing is part of the job." Cycling is also, unfortunately, not very lucrative. You pursue cycling because you love it. Bottom line. And that bottom line meant having the kind of insurance that makes people afraid to call ambulances. I wanted Ben to have better insurance, to have my insurance, but I wanted the ring to go with it. So when he came into the house that day—barely able to stand, blood dripping from his nose, helmet cracked in half—he didn't want to go to the ER. I cleaned his wounds, checked his eyes, kept him talking, and made the judgment call for him: we were going to the Emergency Room, and if it meant I paid for the groceries until he was able to pay off the medical bills, so be it.

He had four fractured vertebrae. His helmet, now useless, had saved his life. I ran my fingers over the broken seams while the doctors cautioned against cycling. Crashing is part of the job, I heard him say. The very next weekend, Ben left our small cabin in Topanga, California, to race in Phoenix, Arizona, with his broken back.

I stayed home and woke up alone, save for a bulldog that was his and a tabby that was mine. I swaddled myself in my robe, the one with no tie, and I tiptoed down the stairs with the animals weaving between my feet. I turned the front burner on high, teapot filled from the night before, and I grabbed my cup and I grabbed his, out of habit, out of routine, out of this is what we do, and I had the sudden knowing of how it would feel to lose him. Because I would grab that cup, and he wouldn't be there for coffee, then or ever. The green and white striped mugs would sit there empty because he was the one who used them, too big for my small hands.

I put the cup back on the shelf, and I let the horror film I'd imagined consume me. He had crashed before, but the ER had never been part of it. All of sudden, knowing his life could be over because of a pebble, a shard of glass, a piece of nearly nothing left on the road at just the right angle in just the right place, it broke me.

Crying over my single cup of coffee felt indulgent. Using a distress fantasy to de-stress, I was allowing myself to wonder, to feel what it would feel like to lose him, to get the phone call. And I sobbed over a coffee cup, standing alone in a house that suddenly felt very his. His knives on the wall behind me, his pots hanging over the sink, his dishes dirty in front of me, his couch and his TV, his rug, his shoes, his bike, his everything. I sank into it, drowning in an emotion I could easily stand in, just to see how long I could hold my breath.

He came home that weekend, and quiet tears found a home in his sweatshirt when I wrapped my arms around him.

It wasn't until the following weekend that I got the phone call informing me that he was in an ambulance he could not afford. I was unloading furniture I had just bought into the house that did not feel like mine without him, and I did not cry. I grabbed a book, a sweatshirt, a snack, his favorite clothes, and a bottle of water. I fed the cat and the dog, turned off all the lights, and got in the car and went. I drove safely, with ambition, and I was tactical in my magic carpet, slipping in and out of clogged lanes, to your rescue, two and a half hours away. I sang along to country radio, knowing that singing was like screaming, and screaming releases tension. And only when traffic came to a standstill, as it often did in our city of pavement, would I cry. I cried long and hard over green and white coffee mugs, because that house was ours, and I was coming to get you.

I told a lot of stories that day. I told your friends the usual stories, the 'it would be OKs,' and 'we'd laugh about this one days'. I told my friends the true stories, that this was hard, that I was scared. But I told myself the worst stories, the stories that might fester during a 70-mile drive to an emergency room without a diagnosis, the stories with emotional gore that aren't meant to be stories at all, but nightmares told by someone else in books I would never read. I could imagine the worst and let it furrow into the cracks of my being 'til my joints gave in and I crumpled into the havoc I'd imagined. Seventy miles in LA traffic from a house that was yours to "he's awake, but he's screaming" is a long while to be alone with your mind.

But the best story I told myself stuck in the truck in traffic that day was the one of how I was your wife. Because once I made it to that far away trauma room, I needed to make it to your side. So I told a story that we didn't wear rings because we didn't believe in it. I told a story that I had a different last name because I didn't need to change it for you. I would say that we had married up in Tuna Canyon with the cat and the dog and our families because it seemed like that's where you would pick to exchange vows. We would say all the same things to those doctors and nurses 'til they believed us. "I'm his wife," I would say sternly with threats in my teeth, and you would hear me through the doors and the walls and the curtains and the beeping and the blood and you would say, "she's my wife." And they'd get out of my way and I would find you without being told. And however broken and disassembled you were, our lips and our lies would fit perfectly, and I would remind you that I did in fact believe in rings, so no big ideas mister, and you would laugh even though it hurt, and I would smile even though it hurt.

I wiped my eyes in the truck one last time that day, before running across the street to the ER. I said your name to the check-in guard and he pointed me toward double doors. I said your name to the information desk and she pointed toward a metal detector. I said your name to the security officer and he pointed down the hall. I said your name to the trauma nurses and they pointed to a curtain. And I didn't need to say I was your wife at all.

I said your name one more time. Neck in a brace, your clothes cut off you, blood everywhere, leg and arm mangled, I said your name as my lips met yours. You hadn't needed to say I was your wife either. All you needed to say was, "you're here," and I slipped my too small hand into yours, feeling how your palms fit around those giant green and white mugs, and I told myself the true story of how they would hold those mugs again and again, with me, right there by your side in a house that was ours, ring or no ring, saying your name again and again and again. TC mark

Kelton Wright is a writer, a cyclist, and a cat enthusiast. She is the author of Anonymous Asked: Life Lessons from the Internet’s Big Sister.

Let Me Be Your Everything

Posted: 05 Jul 2016 04:00 PM PDT

pixabay
pixabay

Let me show you what you're worthy of, let me hold you.
In the darkest of your days, make me your light.
When it has become impossible to believe, believe in me
– let me be your reason to believe.
With me, see that reality is bigger than your dreams.
I can make that little spark of hope burst into its brightest flames.
Give me the liberty to break down your walls
and show you the unspeakable beauty of life
I can bring back the ideals you’ve let go, the ideals you once embraced.
I will awaken the feelings you never knew existed,
the kind you never thought you were capable of feeling.

When you grow cold, I will be your warmth.
I can take away, if not turn, all the pain into sweet sanity.
I can take you to the depths of the deepest sea
the highest of mountains, to the skies.

With me, you can be anyone – be both at your worse and best.
With me, you can be invincible, or vulnerable.
I can be your madness.
Make me your choice, your stand, and I will forever live to be your sun, the myriad stars,
the air you breathe, the wind that kisses your skin, and your light amidst the dark nights.

I am here, see me, feel me, take me.
Take my hand and walk with me.
Let’s run away, we can get lost together.
We will live in the now, and if you wish, even till forever.

Let me be your all, or at the very least, your ONE good thing.

I can, and I will. Only if you let me, only if you take a chance with me. TC mark

This Is What Happens When You Mention Her Name

Posted: 05 Jul 2016 03:00 PM PDT

 istockphoto.com/ Vizerskaya

istockphoto.com/ Vizerskaya

I wonder if my lips will ever stop
lifting upward to the sky whenever
someone mentions your name.

I wonder if my stomach will ever stop
tumbling over when you type “hi” from your
keyboard and ask me how I've been.

Will my eyes ever stop
gleaming when I see your face
on my over brightened screen?

No.

I remember so vividly our visit
to the city that never sleeps and how
my tiny hands felt safe in your care.
No matter how loud the crowds were.

I wonder if my heart will ever stop
shooting icicles at me
when you say her name to me
and say how much you love her.

You really love her.

I wonder if she knows that
you told me once, you would never love
anyone
liked you loved me.

I hope she never finds out.

The Truth About Loneliness

Posted: 05 Jul 2016 02:00 PM PDT

moanique_
moanique_

This one is for you, who were crying yourself to sleep because some people that you loved the most have decided to walk away and left you behind. You've been left and hurt by so many people until you believe that there was something wrong within yourself; you were unworthy and nothing but a flaw.

After they were gone, you felt empty as if you have nothing left within yourself. You are too familiar with the numbness until the only thing that you had inside was your heartbeat; it keeps your body alive meanwhile, your soul has died. You were being eaten by the loneliness until you felt so desperately hopeless.

It was such a war within yourself; you were distrusting everything regarding 'love', meanwhile, it was the only thing that you wanted the most to defeat the lonely feeling that has been haunting you for days.

However, there is no need for you to defeat the loneliness, because at the end of the day; all of us are destined to be alone.

It is an ugly truth to realize that actually we all are destined to be a loner, and we have to accept that. In this 20s, each of us is busy to find something called 'fate'; everybody is looking for their bachelor degrees, internships, jobs, apartments, and even soul mates.

In this generation of Millennial, everybody is busy to find their futures and everybody is fighting their own battles. Yes, I know it sounds cliché, but I believe that most of us still can't accept the fact that people have a habit to come and go.

But let's try to find a new perspective of loneliness so we won't blame the universe which separated us from the people we used to love. You see, to be alone doesn't mean you are lonely. Loneliness is just a state of mind that grows within yourself because you are disappointed with the universe. It's not the loneliness that makes you desperate; it's your anger, disappointment, sadness, and hatred that leads you to feel hopeless. The more unhappy you are, the more lonely you feel.

Loneliness has nothing to do with the people around you, it's not about how many people you lose or how many times your heart was breaking; it is about you and the peace within yourself.

Because the truth is, we will always be content with ourselves; with or without other people.

Instead of mourning your own loneliness, try to find yourself when you are alone. Discover the world as much as you can in order for you to understand the beauty of being alone; you will find your true self in the way of the horizon makes you feel limitless, and you will feel the beauty of your contentment at the star constellations of those clear night skies.

Try to find peace by being alone; when all you can hear is your heartbeat and the voice of your heart is telling you that everything will be just fine. Then, you will discover more about yourself; on how you want to love and to be loved, and on what you truly deserve.

Separation and being alone are simply the way of the universe to re-navigate your life.

You were heading in the wrong direction and you were not with the people who you should be with. You need to let go and trust the universe. Maybe this time, your loneliness is making you to love yourself more, to make you realize what truly matters, and not to take for granted the people who are never leaving you behind.

The loneliness that you suffered now will lead you to the people who want to stay in your life without being asked. All you need to do now is nothing but to love yourself and your loneliness.

Transform your loneliness into your own salvation; make it as your weapon to fight this battle field called life, make it as your power which makes you stronger than you were, and make it as your spell to conquer anything only by being yourself.

Once you are content with yourself and being alone, I promise you that you have survived, and nothing can break you down. You will be unbreakable and soft at the same time; you will be strong at heart.

But at the end of the day, please remember that you will always have a place to come back. Look closer and wider, you are actually never being alone; because there are people out there who will always be your home. TC mark

How We Always Find Ourselves Trapped In Almost Relationships

Posted: 05 Jul 2016 01:00 PM PDT

kirillvasilevcom
kirillvasilevcom

Almost relationships – A new concept our generation is acquainted with. The place where the other person in the relationship is led to believe that a friendship is going somewhere in the direction of a solid committed relationship. But really it isn't. It's stuck in one place but it gives the illusion that it is headed towards a relationship.

It's a mockery of feelings. It communicates promises, it suggests care and affection, it projects loyalty and then one fine day, POOF! It goes away. Sometimes it acts like a little trick game – the one who confesses their affection first, loses. It's an all talk and no work kind of deal.

How it happens?

We let it happen. When it starts, on some level we instinctively recognize it. But it's like when the common cold flu attacks our body. It introduces itself as a new distinctive ailment that we may not be familiar with. It fools us into believing that it's different and we begin to understand its uniqueness.

Sometimes we become so big-hearted that we are willing to accept anything and anybody with a defect because we think that only we have the strength and the power to help initiate change. We think we can heal people. We think relationships are a process of major transformation and we are the primary positive catalyst.

By the time we recognize that this damaged person who came to us with a problem that we thought we were meant to solve because of our magical healing abilities is just a regular pain-in-the-ass guy next door, we are already taken over. We have learnt everything about them because we shared. We know their past, we understand their troubles, we have become too much of a friend.

1. Sometimes they tell us that they are not ready to date but we are okay with that. Why are we okay? Why should we be okay with something like that? Because we are all human. On some level, neither of us are completely ready and relationships happen. We don’t proactively look out for them(except if we join a dating app but that's also just plainly for hook-ups)

2. Sometimes they tell us they are not looking for a serious relationship but give us the feeling that they are, in fact interested in us, that we hold a special place – texting all day, always initiating conversation, sharing their deepest darkest secrets with us, being protective about us, checking in on us at night to see if we got home safe, behaving jealous when we talk about people we hang out with. Basically doing things "friends" don’t do. That to someone who suddenly came into our lives and we became friends with, generally don’t do. Even our old friends don’t do.

3. Sometimes they tell us they are looking for somebody to share their life with, drop subtle hints and then expect us to come clean with how we feel about them.

4. Sometimes when we take the things that they say at face value, all of a sudden it's GAME OVER!!

So why do we let this happen?

1. We fool ourselves and thereby let them fool us. We think, let's see how this goes. We waste our time with people like that. Although some of them remain our friends, some don't. We are able to confront some of them, and the others get away by ghosting us.

2. When they disappear on us after the almost-relationship that lasted for about 4-5 months, we don’t want them to win. We want to keep our shit together. We don’t want to show we care. In retrospect, they did win. They won at a game they began to play and were the only ones playing. We weren't aware that this was a game. We thought this was real and that it was headed somewhere. We gave what we had and we confessed.

3. We ignore our gut-instincts. We know people like them. We recognize them and we still take the garbage.

4. We don’t have the patience to wait for somebody to tell us that they want the real deal. And they want it with us. Some of us even have these people in our lives but we've kept them as friends, or we aren’t attracted to them. Fair enough. You cannot force yourself to be attracted to or date someone you don’t like in that way.

But if somebody is toying with you and misleading you, and you recognize it, don’t allow it to continue. Call the person out on it. Confront them in the beginning. Ask questions. Irritate them till you get their real intentions out in the open. People recognize other more vulnerable people and know whom they can get away with fooling.

If you don’t mean this, why are you saying it? Is this a joke? Maybe it's not really funny. Why do you keep repeating this joke? What is this supposed to mean?

Aren’t you commitment-phobic? Why would you say something like this to me if you feel this way about relationships in general? Do you feel differently about me?

Do you like me more than a friend? If you don't, why would you say that? You think it's fair that you say something like this when what you believe is the complete opposite?

What are we and where are we headed?

 Ask what is necessary to be asked. Even if you think that this may affect your friendship (or what is going to come) in an adverse way. It's not more important that getting your feelings hurt in the end. What does this friendship even mean if this person is going to hurt you in the end?

Some people will avoid these questions and some will answer honestly. Sometimes we hear what we want to hear and we read between the lines. But most other times we are led to believe something and then ultimately tossed out because we misunderstood and we continue to blame ourselves for misunderstanding. Don’t beat yourself up for it.

Somebody who knows what they want will never be so unclear about it. You will always know where you stand with the right people — the ones who know where they have placed you will make it known in the beginning. The rest will confuse you and leave you to your imagination. Don’t fall into the trap.

We don’t always know how we feel about people in the beginning either. We may be unclear, we may feel confused. But we don’t mislead them. We don’t give them hopes or lead them on. We know where they stand and we make it known to them, where they are placed.

Almost relationships have a lasting effect on us and all our future relationships. They shake us up and our belief system. They create trust issues. They make us feel that we don’t deserve real relationships and that we somehow always get stuck in the vicious cycle of the almosts because we are not good enough. We do this to ourselves by choosing people who are unsure about us. And then it doesn’t end because it creates self-doubt and self-loathing.

They aren’t just an unproductive, waste of time. They are a morale-depleting, precious-time consuming parasite that suck out the best of what we can give in relationships to the people who don’t deserve it. parasites who stick to us for a definite period of time for their own benefit at the cost of our personal time and drive out our motivation.

Use the three words.

DON’T ALLOW IT.  TC mark

Maybe Right Now I Want To Be Complicated

Posted: 05 Jul 2016 12:00 PM PDT

Joe St. Pierre
Joe St. Pierre

Maybe right now I want to be complicated.
The girl who spins your mind around.
Who doesn't have all the answers
and doesn't seem to care.

Since I was young, I thought I had to follow a pattern.
Walk with my toes on the line. The straight and narrow.
But that's limiting. And terrible.
And every time I slipped I thought I'd never make it.
Told myself lies that I'd never be good enough.

But I don't care whether or not I'm good enough anymore.

Right now I want to break hearts and chase
dreams. I want to listen to the sound of my own voice,
how it echoes when I scream.
I want to follow where my happiness takes me.
maybe near, or far, or even further away from you.

I want to be the girl you long to chase.
But you know you can't. The one who is fearless,
yet tender. Flawed. Real.

Complicated.

I've spent so much time trying
to simplify how I feel, to fit
myself in a little box, to know
how humans are supposed to express emotion
and conform. But I'm sick
of changing my beating heart.

I want messy. I want to be messy.

And I don't care what the world wants of me.
Or who I'm supposed to be, how I'm supposed to love.

I want to be the girl that makes you dizzy.
The girl with thousands of strands of thought, twisting
herself in every direction. Such splendid chaos.

I cannot fit in a little box.
And I don't want to. TC mark