Thought Catalog


50 Insanely Disturbing Photos Of The Human Body From Actual Medical Procedures

Posted: 07 Jul 2016 08:15 PM PDT

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TC mark

To The Boy Who Asked Me To Remove My Pubic Hair

Posted: 07 Jul 2016 08:00 PM PDT

Jesse Herzog
Jesse Herzog

You hide under the guise of a hero
And claim that I am without any flaw
But I now know you are a faux
When you said you preferred your pussy raw

I stood there puzzled at your strange request
Would I make myself as smooth as a child?
This boy acts as though he knows what is best
My mind began to be driven wild

I decided no, my body, my choice
No one else would dictate my own beauty
Instead, I love, I admire, I rejoice
I treasure each taint, even my booty

I then realised the problem was you
This female body stands mighty and true TC mark

7 Bad Habits That Are Making You Undateable

Posted: 07 Jul 2016 07:00 PM PDT

Olga Ush
Olga Ush

Do you think you have good dating etiquette? Or, is it possible you have some bad habits that are making you undateable? If you consistently find yourself in almost-relationships or first dates that lead nowhere, it's probably time to own up to some of these debilitating dating patterns. Dating is all about putting your best foot forward, so here are 7 unattractive habits you need to ditch in order to save your game:

1. Pounding back the cocktails.

We've all been on a bad date with someone who got wasted and was impossible to talk to because of their inebriation. Booze loosens us up, and a date can be nerve-wracking, so it's understandable that we'd like the server to keep the drinks coming. However, getting wasted isn't attractive and you'll likely end up saying or doing something you regret. I recently went on a date with someone who ordered one beer, and 45 minutes into our date, his glass was still half-full. He was still on his first beer. He stood out because of his ability to enjoy spending time with me sober. He didn't need booze to loosen his nerves, and he didn't seem to need alcohol to have fun. It made me realize how many of my dates were the exact opposite. If you make it known that you have no hidden agendas that you think booze might enable, and no need to get drunk in order to enjoy yourself, you'll stand out in a really great way. If you find that you're unable to control your drinking, consider getting some external help to get a handle on things.

2. Failure to initiate.

Anyone who lacks the ability to initiate contact or doesn't take the lead when it comes to planning a date is a frustrating person to be with. It's irritating when someone always expects others to come up with the plans, which is why it's appreciated when you take the lead and organize something awesome for a specific day of the week. Planning in advance is great, too – everyone loves notice.

3. Suggesting boring dates.

Taking the lead is only half the battle; you also need to come up with exciting and unique date ideas from time to time. Going for drinks, going for coffee, and watching a movie at home are mediocre dates that don't require much thought. Instead, try getting creative and coming up with something that might actually be memorable – like a SuperDate – please and thank you.

4. Never asking any real questions.

This is a big one. Don't just ask your date about their job, their dog or what they like to do for fun. This just proves that you're not capable of real, deep or stimulating conversation. If you really want to stand out and impress your date, ask some real questions. Ask about their goals, dreams, fears, passions and proudest achievements. Showing a genuine interest in your date will go a long away, and people tend to light up when they're discussing what's most important in their life such as their goals and their passions.

5. Being distracted by other options.

If you meet someone special, how likely are you to stop using online dating sites altogether and just focus on that one person? What's more likely, is that no matter how much you like the person you're dating, you'll still chat with others and explore other options. When you always think someone better is right around the corner, you're allowing yourself to get distracted from the amazing person right in front of you. It's your call, but just know that your inability to focus on him or her could completely screw things up for you. If you can break this habit and try dating one person at a time, that's you giving it a real shot.

6. Being unreliable.

If you want to be deemed dateable, you need to stop being late, stop cancelling plans and stop changing plans (unless it's a change in the form of an upgrade – in which case, that's fine.) Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Everyone wants to date someone they can count on, and nobody wants to date someone who's flaky.

7. A consistently negative attitude.

Many people are genuinely unaware that they come across negative, which is a big problem since a positive attitude is what's attractive. Negative energy is a huge turn-off. The best way to figure out if this is a bad habit you're guilty of is to answer the following questions: Do you tend to complain about stuff, or are you a grateful person? Are you rude to servers, or polite? Do you smile and laugh on dates, or are you always in a bad mood? Dating is supposed to be fun, so keep in mind that it's positive people who are enjoyable to be around. Be careful how often you complain about what is going wrong in your life, and if you're in a terrible mood all the time, you're better off staying single until you get your house in order.

8. Second-guessing yourself.

We all have insecurities, but confidence is a learned behaviour. If you can portray confidence on a date, you'll be that much sexier and that much more likely to secure his or her interest. Even if you think you're dating out of your league, never second-guess yourself or act as though you're not good enough. If you act as though you're more than good enough, he or she will believe it too. TC mark

How You Approach Love, Based On Your Element

Posted: 07 Jul 2016 06:00 PM PDT

 Hugo Coelho
Hugo Coelho

Air. If your element is air, you're a dreamer, a profound thinker and you're searching for this one sensational love. You don't settle for anything in life and like air you're always changing to become perfect and find the perfect person for you. You're probably a little bit unpredictable when it comes to love and that's mainly because you're always searching for something more or for a Utopian kind of love. However, when you find the person who can finally calm your storms, you're extremely loyal, giving and loving (maybe too romantic at times) but you can really sail against the wind for the one you love. Like air, you will breathe new life into your partner's world.

Fire. If your element is fire, you're emotional, impulsive, driven and adventurous. You're searching for an exciting love that's full of spontaneity and surprises and you will not settle for a boring or predictable love. You look for people who can bring out the fiery side of you so you can be content in your relationship. Once you find the person who makes your days brighter, there is nothing you wouldn't do. You will sacrifice a lot for your partner and will do whatever it takes to make sure that he/she is happy and safe. You're very protective and strong and you like taking exceptional care of whoever you're with. Like fire, you will always add a spark to your partner's life.

Water. If you're element is water, you're passionate, understanding and intuitive. Your magnetic nature leaves many people drawn to you because of how you make them feel. You look for people who are as passionate as you are and you don't like clingy partners, you're very independent and you look for those who can have their own lives away from you, however, you're also a hopeless romantic and you're looking for a love that can sweep you off your feet. You're the kind of person who would take your partner on a trip to Paris just to tell them how much you love them. You're very generous, caring, giving and will play a big part in making your partner's life better. Like water, you have a tendency to heal your partner.

Earth. If your element is earth, you're stable, strong and honest. You know what you want or who you want and you're not afraid to go after them. You're always thinking of the future and you're looking for someone who you can start a family with and someone who would raise your kids well — someone who feels like home. You look for a secure and mature kind of love. You're a little bit controlling and possessive by nature so you like to be the leader in your relationships, but that's only because you're an excellent leader and you know how to make everyone happy. Like earth, you will always be your partner's safe haven.  TC mark

Why You’ll Never Move On From Abuse Until You Choose To Save Yourself

Posted: 07 Jul 2016 05:00 PM PDT

Noël Alva
Noël Alva

Here I am once again, wrapped up in this captivating solitude. Words keep trying to take away my darkest thoughts. I sit in complete silence for a while, looking back on all those times when I thought death was the only way out.
I remember looking in the mirror and not recognizing the woman that looked back at me. She rarely smiled and she used to have bags under her eyes every day. Sometimes, it seemed as if there was no life left inside of her.

I can't remember exactly when it all started. I just remember that I woke up one day and it suddenly hit me: I was completely alone. Slowly and without even noticing, I had distanced myself from every single person I knew, including my family. All I had was him and the uncontrollable panic attacks I had whenever he got near me.

He used to tell me that it was my fault if he got mad, if he yelled at me, if he hurt me. All I can recall is how everything was always my fault. "If you had behaved like I told you to, you wouldn't have gained those bruises on your back", that's kind of how his mind worked.

It's been too long since we last contacted each other, but the memories still hit me when I least expect them to. I can be drinking tea, singing or talking to a friend and suddenly an image comes to my mind. And even as I try to avoid it, I watch everything in slow motion.

I watch him pressing his hands around my neck and as I begin to feel a heaviness in my chest, I watch how I do nothing about it. I see myself on the floor in the corner of the room, shaking and crying like a baby while he's screaming on top of me and once again, I watch how I do nothing about it.

When it's really bad, I watch him smashing his head against mine or threatening me to death… Those are the moments when I realize I could have done something about it.

I just didn't think I was strong enough.

It's almost impossible not to break down when these memories come, but I've learned to keep it all in a little longer than I did before. I look forward to the day when they don't affect me at all when they catch me off guard.

It amazes me how someone can change who you are, forever. It's like they touch something inside of you that makes you become a whole different person. You have to know that when you let another soul into yours, there's no going back.

Personally, I lost who I was while I was desperately trying to save him.

I chose him before me because I thought his demons were somehow bigger and scarier than mine. Little did I know the worst of them all was going to take over me.

For two years I thought I was never going to be able to get out of where I was. Fortunately, I was wrong. Then, after the relationship ended, for another year I found myself not knowing if I was going to be able to make it out alive or not.

It took me three years of unbearable pain. Three years of hiding, of making excuses for my behavior, of feeling useless, of being stepped on and humiliated. Three years of not knowing who I was, of not knowing if I was ever going to be able to feel happy again.

It took me three years of wanting to die to realize how much I truly want to live. And I don't want to live out of what happened to me, I don't want to live under his shadow anymore. Instead, I want to live because of what happened to me.

Because with time I've come to realize it's true when they say the toughest battles teach you the greatest lessons. I learned so much from this, and I don't think I could've appreciated myself the way I do now if this hadn't happened to me.

I don't mean to sound cliché, but I really know my worth now. I am content with the decision I made when I quit that vicious cycle and I hope with all of my heart that if anyone reading this is going through something similar, they find it in their hearts to forgive themselves because that's the most important part of the healing process and also the hardest one.

If you know what it feels like to cry yourself to sleep every night because you feel like you will never be enough, I really hope you choose to grab all the strength I know you have inside and quit.

At the end, it's all about choosing to save yourself first. Because you're the only one that can do it, and you deserve it. You deserve to be your own hero. TC mark

This Is Why Your Ex Still Misses You, According To Your ‘Love Language’

Posted: 07 Jul 2016 04:30 PM PDT

TC
TC

1. Physical Touch

They miss your ability to connect instantly through the simplest of gestures. The soft, gentle feeling of your palm against their shoulder after a long day, when you could sense that they needed a "touch" of reassurance. The tenderness with which you caressed them in the middle of the night when you could tell, instinctively, that they were tossing and turning more than usual. The positive energy you exuded whenever you hugged them tightly. Your insistence on a goodbye kiss before walking out the door every single time. Your expertise in the art of cuddling. Your ability to know exactly when they needed to feel safe and loved through the power of human contact more than anything else.

2. Quality Time

They miss your sincere desire to be around at all times—to soak up every last bit of them, as if being together were the most important thing in life. The way you looked deep into their eyes when you engaged them in conversation, whether you were talking about a major global issue, or what you should have for dinner that night. Your insistence on paying attention—to connecting through being present—which made them feel so very special. They miss your ability to enjoy prolonged silences—to appreciate the very act of being in the same room with a loved one without having to do anything, necessarily, other than be.

3. Words Of Affirmation

They ache for the sense of comfort and contentedness you could trigger in them, even on the worst day ever, just by saying kind, truthful things. By injecting dull, dark moments with the uplifting commentary and positivity that comes so naturally to you, you could flip their mood and the entire vibe of any given situation. Your ceaseless support through vocal encouragement meant so much to them, whether or not they fully understood that while you were dating. Since parting ways, they've probably tried coaching themselves in the bathroom mirror to fill the void, but doing so only emphasized just how valuable your persistent, heartfelt flattery really was.

4. Receiving Gifts

Every tiny meaningful gift you presented to them has a place in their heart, whether they chose to hold onto all those relationship mementos or felt compelled to burn them in some kind of cleansing ceremony. While objects can be turned into ashes, you cannot set fire to the goodness imbued in well-intentioned gifts. They miss the way you turned so many dates into events worth remembering just by saving a keepsake from all the restaurants, bars, and other places you visited. The earnestness with which picked up little trinkets randomly on the way home because those items made you think of them. The way your eyes twinkled when you could sense that they were pleased with something you gave them, no matter how much it cost.

5. Acts of Service

They yearn for the warm, fuzzy feeling they experienced whenever you did something nice for them, which was often. The way you shelved your needs temporarily in order to run an errand for them because you honestly cared more about enhancing their life experience than you did about easing your own burden. They miss the genuine satisfaction you managed to derive from doing things for other people because, at heart, you are a generous human who enjoys making sacrifices for loved ones. TC mark

Good Things Go For Better Things To Come

Posted: 07 Jul 2016 04:00 PM PDT

 Jeff Isy
Jeff Isy

"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind." — C.S. Lewis

As long as the future is unpredictable, imagine it bright, glorious and much better than the past. We're wired to believe that the best days are gone, that the past is better than the future and that holding on to certain things is better than letting them go because subconsciously we think 'what if I'll never be this happy again?' I know I've had a lot of these thoughts myself in the past and life surprised me by bringing happier moments into my life.

We lose good people but we meet greater people, we think we'll never find a love like the one we lost but we find the love that we deserve, we think we'll never find our calling but then one day it knocks on our door and we think that the future can be cruel but it's always kinder than our past.

Life is constantly changing and the things we got used to, the things that make us comfortable and the people we love can change too, and we find it extremely difficult to adjust to a new life that doesn't include the 'pillars' that made it meaningful at one point, but this is when life teaches you the most valuable lesson; you must have faith in the future and the better things it holds for you.

It's up to you to think of your future as a blessing or a curse. Because as long as you're alive and breathing, the world needs you for something and it's better to get excited about it and think it needs you for something great instead of thinking that the good days have come to an end.

I've been actively training my mind to look at endings as beginnings to better things, to look at goodbyes as hellos to new opportunities and to let good things go to make room for the better things that are coming my way.

That doesn't mean that the future doesn't hold bad days too, but I believe that it will also bring more blessings, more love, more success and more unforgettable moments. Instead of thinking 'it couldn't get any better than this,' I think 'I can't wait to see how much better it gets from here.' TC mark

A Letter To The Boy Who Wants Me: This Is Why I Haven’t Said ‘Yes’ (At Least, Not Yet)

Posted: 07 Jul 2016 03:00 PM PDT

Jesse Herzog -  www.instagram.com/jesseherzog/
Jesse Herzog –
www.instagram.com/jesseherzog/

It’s been a while since my recent breakup – maybe weeks or months? I don’t know, I’ve lost track of time. Unlike the other girls who went through the state of moving on, I long ago quit reminding myself of the day I decided to let go of my then magical-turned-eye-opening love story. I stopped counting the days that I’ve been single because my realizations during my period of freedom are more worthy of my time.

I’m in my mid-20s, others are in their 30s, few seem to still be mingling around even when they’re already in their 40s and 50s, yet none of us settled for in a relationship because freedom taught us that we do not deserve to be in the wrong one.

I haven’t said “yes” yet because a relationship is a commitment bonded with trust and respect, not just love alone. As the song goes, sometimes love’s just ain’t enough. While the flattery of being admired by someone you reciprocally like is a justifiable reason for saying yes, I hold back knowing this is not the only ingredient that keeps a relationship going. I come to my senses before I get carried away with all the killing emotions – such could be very temporary. I have to be sure first that he respects me and that I can trust him by making him wait long enough for me to assess him. Because I don’t plan to have him around temporarily. I want him to be around permanently.

I haven’t said “yes” yet because I have standards. Yes, we all have those! But mine are on the more realistic side and I swear, it’s nothing that includes specific physical attributes nor riches. Choosy? No. My freedom has allowed me to explore and know the type of man I need in my life and that includes him being brave enough to meet my preferences because he knows I’m worth it. Ladies, a man who’s too lazy to achieve you as a goal is a man who’d rather not sweat things out and would settle for less – you know better than being that type of girl.

I haven’t said “yes” yet because he has standards, too. Yes, they are humans as well. I couldn’t demand for a guy the way I want him to be when in the first place, I’ve not made myself worthy for him. It’s a two-way process in here! While I might have done things in the past that would mark me down on his dream girl list, I believe it’s never too late to turn the vessel around. Up to now, I could say that I’m still on the process of finding myself: continuously learning about life, fixing flaws, nailing careers, being independent, and trying my best to stay reserved. Only when I achieve such goals will I be able to love myself fully. Until then, I can consider myself worthy of his preferences.

So how long will I stay single? Until the day I run out of all the reasons to say “NOT YET”. TC mark

You Were A Toxicity I Confused For Thrill

Posted: 07 Jul 2016 02:00 PM PDT

Kiele Twarowski
Kiele Twarowski

There's nothing wrong with me. After months of overthinking every conversation we had in hopes of comprehending why I hadn't been enough for you, I finally said it. It was never about me, because it was always about you. Your trust issues. Your excuses. Your indecisiveness. I don't blame us for not working out, but I blame you for making me believe that we would have.

I didn't imagine the way your hand found mine in the middle of the night or how we laughed with the skyline behind us as we drove. I didn't force you to buy my time in continuous chances, half-hearted apologies, and mixed signals – but maybe that part is my fault. You seemed to fit me and I was convinced that meant we were something special. Your manipulation was coated in charm and your cruelness was hidden by the softness of your smile. Everything with you was easy at the beginning, we were a roller coaster ride – so fast and reckless that we didn't consider the abrupt stop that would wake us from the thrill of how alive we felt.

Looking back on our time together, I should've known my purpose for meeting you was to learn how to lose you. Our relationship was too careless, too exhilarating, too consuming to control. We were everything but steady – only fueled by the wild nature of our hearts and our avoidance of the flickering moments of reality that proved how unsustainable we were. As our relationship began to fade, I felt the adrenaline rush you used to give me turn into a dull feeling that sank my heart and absorbed me with dread.

The fun ended and all that was left were expectations you couldn't meet and a commitment you couldn't make.

I couldn't understand where we went wrong, but then I realized we didn't. Everything was the same, the only thing that changed was your mind. It was like you had been so caught up on the idea of us that you didn't feel obligated to face the reality of it. As our distance grew and your touch lessened, I began to blame myself for your disinterest: maybe I wasn't as skinny as I should've been, maybe my texts weren't funny, maybe I gave myself to you too quickly.

And that was when I knew I lost someone far more valuable than you: myself.

You were never the right person for me, because that person would never make me question the value of the love and loyalty I have to offer. I lost you the second I met you, because you were never mine to have. You didn't want me because I wanted more. There was nothing I could've done to make you see who I was and now that I think about it, I'm glad you didn't. We weren't meant to last forever, just for that moment, and that's the beauty of it.

The coldness of how you left shook me, but your absence empowered me. I understand now that you didn't like the way my eyes shined when I talked about something that mattered to me – enough, you didn't like the chemistry between us – enough, you didn't like how willing I was to like you – enough. And that's okay, because you were not enough. We were not enough.

You were a toxicity I confused for thrill, but now I can breathe better.

It's been months since we've spoken, but I want to thank you for squeezing my heart tight enough so that I could feel the pain, but not enough for me to fear it. For reminding me that my worth doesn't correlate with anyone's desire to commit to me. You pushed me so low to the ground that my only option was to not stay there. So here I am, writing this not in hopes that you read it, but that others who have felt the pain of trying to forget someone do. TC mark

I’m Not Selfish For Moving On

Posted: 07 Jul 2016 01:00 PM PDT

 sashapritchard
sashapritchard

I'm not selfish.

I'm not selfish for moving on after you made it clear that you are more interested in doing your own thing and that you don't know where your life will take you.

I let you live your life with or without me, why don't you want me to live mine?

I'm not selfish for deciding to stop waiting for you to be ready, it was selfish of you to keep me waiting and naïve of you to think that I will do it again.

I think you just didn't think I'd find anyone else and I think it hurts you more that someone else replaced you more than it hurts you that you lost me.

I'm not selfish for trying to find someone who's on the same page, someone who sees a future with me, someone who doesn't just want me there when it's convenient for him and someone who has room for only one person in his heart.

I'm not selfish for wanting to forget you, I'm not selfish for trying to forget all the hurtful words you said and how you made me feel and I'm not selfish for finally mustering up the courage to treat you the same way you treated me.

Our story is over, I know you never thought I'd ever utter these words because you were the dream that kept me going but I realized that dreams could easily become nightmares if we don’t wake up. 

I know you genuinely wanted us to be friends but I have enough friends; friends who care about me much more than you ever will and friends who are actually there for me when I need them.

I'm not selfish for giving your friendship up, because no matter how easygoing I was, I will never be the girl who just sits there and watch you fall in love with someone else. I'm not going to be the girl who chooses to see you with someone else instead of not seeing you at all.

I'd rather not see you at all. I'd rather forget you even existed and I'd rather find someone who can be both my friend and my lover without giving this foolish ultimatum.

You don't want me to move on because you don't think anyone else would actually wait for you as long as I did, and you liked sleeping at night with the reassurance that someone out there will always wait for you and take you back no matter what.

I'm not selfish for taking away the reassurance you failed to give me.

And finally I'm not selfish for wanting to be happy; even if this happiness is not with you.

You're selfish for wanting everything and giving nothing in return. TC mark