Thought Catalog


The Short Sex Story That Will Make You Seriously Horny, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Posted: 15 Aug 2016 08:45 PM PDT

LookCatalog.com
LookCatalog.com

Aries: March 21st – April 19th

“My tits were pressed up against the glass of our hotel’s sliding door, the one that led out to the balcony. Even though we were technically inside, I could see strangers bustling around in the hotel rooms directly across the street. I hoped they would glance over, see my lips part as the moans slid out, see my nipples harden against the glass, see my boyfriend’s hands rubbing over my clit, back and fourth, back and fourth, until I orgasmed against his thick cock.”

Taurus: April 20th – May 20th

“I’d been daydreaming about fucking him for months, and we were finally alone, our shoulders pressed together as we sat on his living room couch. He rested a hand on my thigh, a little too close to my pussy, pulsing with excitement. Then he inched his head closer until his lips were flush against mine. And, in a flash, his hands were lifting off my shirt. His lips were skating over my breasts. His dick was sliding into me. And it all felt right, because he’d been waiting for this as long as I had.”

Gemini: May 21st – June 20th

“I was straddling him, my nails digging into his six pack, but my lips were pressed up against her lips. I’d never kissed a girl before, but as I felt her tongue swirl against mine, I had no idea why I’d waited so long. She reached down to play with my clit as I continued bouncing on his cock, so it wasn’t long until I let out a long moan that was followed by the most intense orgasm I’d ever experienced. And then we swapped positions and started again.”

Cancer: June 21st – July 22nd

“We were in the honeymoon suite, laughter on our lips with our wedding still fresh in our minds. With gentle hands, he removed the veil I’d insisted on wearing during the limo ride over. The limo ride full of foreplay, with his fingers sneaking under my dress to play with my clit as his lips ensnared my neck. And now that we were safely in bed, he whispered that he loved me, that he would never leave me until the day that he died, and then he slid a strand of hair behind my ear as he pushed himself into me.”

Leo: July 23rd – August 22nd

“My face was smashed against the pillow as he fucked me from behind. I turned my head to the side, eyes glancing upward, so I could see my ass reflected in the mirror on the ceiling. I watched his thick hands grab my waist and dig in hard, his cock thrust in and out of my pussy as fast as his thighs would allow, his head tilt up in immeasurable pleasure. And as I watched, I reached down and played with my clit until I came as hard as he did.”

Virgo: August 23rd – September 22nd

“He sat behind me with his legs spread, so I could sit in the center of them. After leaving a few kisses against my neck, he lifted my shirt over my head, unclasped my bra, and started massaging. His hands squeezed my shoulders, and then moved down to work on my lower back. After twenty minutes of those blissful touches, he leaned close to my ear, close enough to send shivers through my warm body, and he whispered about how he was going to set a bath for me, and then fuck me in the water.”

Libra: September 23rd – October 22nd

“I was on top of him, riding his cock, but I dipped my chest down so he could flick his tongue against my nipples. He reached his hand around to grab my ass and when he squeezed, I let out a tiny little moan. That made him smirk, his eyes glistening with horniness, so he slapped my ass this time, hard, hard enough to leave a mark. Then he reached that hand up and grabbed a tuft of my hair, holding onto it as I grabbed hold of his shoulders, his grasp deepening with mine.”

Scorpio: October 23rd – November 21st

“He pulled me out of my seat, his hand tight against my wrist, and led me to the restaurant’s bathroom. I whispered my protests, swearing that someone would see us, but he yanked me inside anyway. After we’d dipped inside of a stall, he dropped to his knees and shoved his head up my skirt. He slid my thong to the side and peeked his tongue into the slit where it had sat, making my thighs tremble. By the time I reached orgasm, I was moaning so loud I didn’t care who heard.”

Sagittarius: November 22nd – December 21st

“He dug in his drawer and pulled out a vibrator, something we’d never actually used in the bedroom before. Then he sat me on the edge of the bed, slid his cock into me, and rested the toy against my clit as he thrusted, moving it clockwise and then counterclockwise. With his free hand, he reached up and grabbed one of my tits, his fingers playing with my nipple. He asked me what I wanted, but it all felt so damn good that I could only respond with more and more moans.”

Capricorn: December 22nd – January 19th

“He threw me up against the wall so hard that the picture frame behind me clanged to the floor. He grabbed both of my wrists, lifting them above my head and pinning them to that wall. Then he kissed my lips, licking and sucking and biting down on them. Even through our clothing, I could feel his hard cock pressing up against my pussy. I wanted him. Needed him. When I let those words escape my lips, he released his hold on me and yanked off my dress as I unzipped his jeans.”

Aquarius: January 20th – February 18th

“We were in missionary, his muscled body hovering over mine, but I lifted my hips so he could reach around and play with my ass. He used the tip of his finger to press in and out, ever so slightly, but it made me insanely wet. ‘You like that?’ he asked, and when I moaned out a ‘yes,’ he pushed in a little harder, a little deeper. Even from inside me, I swear I could feel his cock harden. Could feel the warm cum squirt into my pussy and trigger my own orgasm.”

Pisces: February 19th – March 20th

“He had his guitar slung over his shoulder, playing the acoustic version of our song from the edge of our bed. I snuggled up behind him, my head leaning against his back as he sung the lyrics softly. Of course, it wasn’t long until I lost all control and pressed my lips against his neck, smiling whenever he got distracted and played the wrong chord. And I smiled even wider when he tossed the guitar to the floor, climbed on top of me, and pushed those talented fingers inside of my pussy.” TC mark

I Genuinely Hope You’re Happy Wherever You Are

Posted: 15 Aug 2016 08:00 PM PDT

Emily & Steve Photography
Emily & Steve Photography

I hope that you're happy now, wherever you might be in life. I hope your life is filled with happiness and promise of good things to come. I hope you're in a good place. I hope you found someone who loves you as much as I loved you, maybe even more than that.

Leaving you broke my heart; it tore my heart into tiny little shreds that were scattered all over the floor and starting blowing away in the wind.

I didn't think I'd ever be able to find all the pieces of my heart to make it whole again and the truth is I never got all the pieces back of my heart from loving you and I honestly don’t think I ever will.

I never found every tiny of piece of my shattered heart because I believe part of me still lives in you. I tried to fill those pieces with others, but no one ever got me like you. No one still has ever understood me like you did.

I decided to stop trying to fix myself with others and started turning towards myself to heal. I learned how to love myself and how to fill my own voids.

Sure enough my heart started becoming full again, from my own love.

I never got all the pieces of my heart back from you, but instead I found new pieces.

I found new interests, new hobbies, I found new things that made me laugh, I became in charge of my own happiness. I no longer let others dictate how I feel. I no longer let you dictate how I felt.

It took me losing you to find who I really wanted to be.

It took me losing you to find myself. It took me losing you to love myself. It took me losing you in order to work towards becoming the person I wanted to be.

I can finally say I’ve found myself in this world and I genuinely hope you've found yourself, too. I hope you found yourself instead of finding yourself in a new relationship every time your last one ended. I hope you have allowed yourself to grow and to become happy on your own.

I hope you found the place you want to be in this world. I hope you found a job you love, a job you actually can't wait to wake up to in the morning, a job you miss when you take a vacation.

I hope if you did find someone new, I hope she's great to you and I hope you're great to her, too. I hope you found happiness in all the places you let it fall through before. I hope you're stronger now and I hope your dog is doing well.

We might not have worked out, but I truly hope the best for you because you weren't a bad person, our lives just needed to head in different directions. You needed to work on you and I needed to work on me, and I hope you took the time to do that.

No matter where you are in this life, I hope you're happy now.

I hope you can honestly say you're happy now because I can and I’ve always wanted the best for you. TC mark

Real Women Explain How To Masturbate Your Way To Mind-Blowing Pleasure

Posted: 15 Aug 2016 07:00 PM PDT

Photo by OnaArtist.com
Photo by OnaArtist.com

1. "I've been known to fuck a vegetable. Give me a cucumber or a carrot with the right girth and I'm the happiest girl on the planet. I just thrust it in and out, again and again—slower to start and than fast, like Thumper the bunny. I get wetter and wetter until I cum." — Jasminka, 34

2. "Every woman needs to own a detachable shower head. There's nothing like the sensation of running water right up against your vagina. Just hold it down there, moving it around so the pressure of the stream hits you in different spots. You’ll find yourself squirming like a mad woman in no time. I realized this the first time I went in a jacuzzi and the jet stream turned me on. Been devoted to long, leisurely orgasm baths ever since." — Eveline, 33

3. "Lube is an absolute must. Either spit on your finger or buy some water based sex lube and apply a little before sending your fingers south of the border. You’ll slip right into the good spots if you rub yourself for long enough. I like to lie back against a big fluffy cushion and lube my nipples up with my left hand so they get nice and hard while I use the right to fiddle with my clit." — Carla, 23

4. "You have to figure out your own body, and that can take time because vaginas are a lot harder to unravel than dicks. I fingered myself every night for three months straight when I was 14 until I finally got myself off and I was soooooo overwhelmingly satisfied when it finally happened. I learned that I personally need a combination of clitoral stimulation and internal finger fucking. Now that I know the magic formula, there's an orgasm literally at my fingertips whenever I want it!" — Franny, 18

5. "Figure-eights around the clitoris do it for me. Every. Single. Time. I never even bother sticking my fingers inside my vagina because I don't need to. Clit stim does it for me." — Meg, 25

6. "I felt stupid the first time I moaned while masturbating—until I realized just how powerful vocalizing stuff can be. I'll say things like, 'Yeah, baby. Fuck me like that' in between moaning and rubbing my crotch and I always get there within five minutes without fail." — Bella, 30

7. "I’m a certified pillow humper. I basically act like I'm having sex with a guy as I rub my entire body up against my pillows in bed. I’ll touch myself between my thighs but it’s really the humping and getting the crease of the pillow to rub me the right way that gets me aroused. I swear it can be better to dry hump a pillow than an actual guy sometimes." — DJ, 31

8. "The day my parents insisted I start using an electric toothbrush in high school, I saw the potential of that little gizmo right away. OMG it's such a useful tool—better than any vibrator I've ever used to masturbate. I'll hold it up against my vagina through my underwear on 'sensitive' mode, and then I’ll play around with the different settings, switching from 'gum care' and eventually working my way up to 'deep clean.' It’s the perfect fake penis." — Lucy Jane, 22

9. "I'm imaginative, so for me it's important to craft the right story. I'll put on some sexy lingerie and start thinking of a scenario. Maybe it's me, super fit, running into my ex and his new girlfriend and I use my sensual powers to seduce him away from her. Or I'm leaning up against my boss' desk, letting him fuck me from behind as he goes through the agenda of our morning meeting and all our colleagues watch as it rains rose petals. I like to get creative and weird because the story gets me hot. The better the fantasy, the better the orgasm form my experience. Oh, and if you ever need inspo, watching porn def helps." — Tonya, 23

10. "I'm big on the sitting position. The angle I can massage my vagina from when I'm seated drives me crazy. So I'll sit on my couch or bed or even the toilet and touch myself alternating hands until I climax. I do a lot of concentric circles around my clit and I pivot my hips back and forth a lot too." — Sally, 35

11. "I’m a nipple pincher. Don't underestimate the power of other body parts when you're masturbating. I like to lie down and run my hands up and down my body and massage my breasts and feel myself up. Then, once I'm warmed up a little, I move onto the pink parts. I attack my nipples and vagina until I'm screaming with orgasmic pleasure." — Quinn, 26

12. "Once you find the right vibrator, it's so easy to get yourself off. I'm partial to small, egg-shaped ones that vibrate on a few different settings. I'll start out on the soft hum and work my way up to the highest level. Sometimes I stick the little egg inside my vag and rub my clit and it works like a charm. You just have to keep your underwear on so it doesn’t pop out all the time." — Ava, 24 TC mark

Real Sex Stories book cover

Read more writing like this in Mélanie Berliet’s book Real Sex Stories That Will Make You Really Horny here.

Why Dating Sucks When You Act Like You Don’t Give AF But Are Secretly Sensitive

Posted: 15 Aug 2016 06:00 PM PDT

LookCatalog.com
LookCatalog.com

Dating sucks in general, but it’s even worse when you’re the type of girl who acts like she doesn’t give a fuck when she’s secretly a soft, sensitive soul. You can’t keep up the charade forever. Well, you can, but it’s going to make your dating life much harder than it has to be.

Men hurt you without even realizing it.

You do such a good job of acting like you have thick skin that some men actually believe you’re heartless. That’s why they’ll lie and cheat and shatter your heart, and they won’t even feel bad about it. After all, you didn’t break down in tears in front of them. You didn’t beg them to take you back. So you must be fine, right? They’re wrong, of course, but they don’t know that, so you’re left to suffer alone. They’ll never know how much they hurt you, and you’re not exactly sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

You feel like a hypocrite.

You know you don’t need a man to survive. You’re always the first one to tell your BFF to dump her asshole boyfriend and to remind her that single life isn’t all that bad. That’s why you refuse to cry when your crush ends up screwing you over. If you let yourself dwell on the fact that he let you down, then you’d feel like a horrible feminist, like a weak woman–and you’re neither of those things. But you have to remember that it’s okay to have feelings. It’s okay to let your guard down. It’s okay to be upset over a boy.

No one tiptoes around your feelings.

Whenever your crush makes a mean comment, you laugh it off or say something mean right back. You seem like you can take whatever he throws at you. That’s why he’ll make the same types of comments again and again without thinking twice. He doesn’t think it’s a big deal, even though it’s killing you inside. Your I-don’t-give-a-fuck attitude is actually encouraging his bullshit behavior.

You pretend to hate relationships way more than you actually do.

You overcompensate for the fact that you’re single and secretly want a boyfriend by swearing that you’ll never date. That a relationship is completely out of the question. That you’re not willing to waste a second of your precious time with some boy. You’re trying to convince yourself that you’re happier now than you’d ever be with a man, because you don’t want to live a life full of regrets. 

You don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea. 

If you complained about being single, then your friends might start to feel bad for you, and the last thing you want is their pity. Their lives aren’t any better than yours, just because they happen to have boyfriends, but if you complain enough, they might be fooled into thinking that they’re superior. You don’t want that. And you don’t want to be the girl who’s always whining about a boy, either. That’s jut not you. TC mark

I’m Not Jealous You’re Back With Your Ex (Because I’m So Grateful To Be Free Of You)

Posted: 15 Aug 2016 05:00 PM PDT

unsplash.com
unsplash.com

Suddenly, right there before your very eyes, everything you held on to for so long drowns in the reality that it was all a cold, messy lie. Everything you convinced yourself of in order to give the person your all means nothing now.

I always knew she was what you truly wanted. When I saw that you two were back together, my initial feeling was happiness. I felt a sense of relief for you because it looked like you had finally gotten back the one person who made you feel the safest, but that’s not to say I wasn’t angry too.

Angry that what we had was a lie because you lied to me, over and over again. But mostly angry not because you didn’t end up with me, but because there was no need to destroy me in the process of winning her back. Was I the one who left you? Yes, and it took all the strength I had in me. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t also have to put myself back together piece by piece after I left the construction site that was your life. I tried to go back, I groveled, pined, begged, and pleaded for you to stay in my life. I didn’t understand how she and I were so different. I didn’t understand how you could ignore me after I broke your heart, but stay friends with her after she had broken it. Then I opened my eyes and snapped out of it.

Here’s the plot twist though: as I reflect on my experience with you, I realized that she and I were the same at one point, we had one huge thing in common. We viewed you as the ultimate prize.

We both tried to keep you in our lives because we convinced ourselves that you added value to them, and that you couldn’t survive without us. That, my friends, is the grueling and exhausting game of manipulation at its finest. I didn’t last because I stopped playing. Her, on the other hand? She never stopped playing.

I realized that from the day you entered my life, you had never relinquished control of her. Even after you grasped complete control of me. You stayed in contact at all times, no matter how many times we argued over how uncomfortable it made me. I knew that you had been together for a decent amount of time, but I also knew you had been broken up for a few years before I came along. You convinced me (and yourself) that she was the only person you’ve ever had whom you trusted whole heartedly, but honestly, how could you have trusted her when she broke your heart? You couldn’t, it was just all a game to you. I let you have her because you used your fucked up childhood as an excuse to never trust anyone again. You would only trust her until I earned your trust with time.

People like you convince your partners that you don’t trust that we won’t leave you like everyone else has, which ultimately manipulates us into staying, manipulates us into enduring your abuse. I can admit that I felt bad, I pitied you, so I stood by as you slowly, and painfully, pierced your hooks in me, and ultimately destroyed me little by little, every second you were in my life. I let you convince me that you needed me to survive, that it was my responsibility to neglect my own standards and emotions in order to keep you afloat. I convinced myself that the emotional and physical abuse you dished out wasn’t your fault; it was just a reflection of how you were shown love growing up.

But when it comes to her, let’s put it this way: you never finished writing your chapter with her before you started writing your chapter with me.

You can’t overlap chapters; you can’t overlap relationships. Sure, give a short summary in the beginning of your new chapter, but don’t make it one of the conflicting elements in your new chapter. A summary is an explanation of your past; it is not a discussion you have every day. You mentioned her at every chance you could, but told me it was over and that you loved me. I was your everything now. You talked about her fondly, too fondly. You made comments asserting that it was not your choice to be apart from her. You went as far as providing me with a detailed list of why you could never be together (of which included facts such as her parents loathing your existence and you fucking her friend after you broke up). Which in my head is all the convincing I’d ever need to believe she would never take you back. Wrong.

So question is, am I jealous she has you again? Am I envious of her life with you? Nah. I pity her.

Thing is, you two lasted years, while we only lasted a matter of months. Not because I was anything short of amazing, but because I was stronger than her. I let you have control of my emotional and physical health for a short while, until I opened my eyes and saw the destruction you were causing in my life; the game of manipulation you thrived off of. I realized that who I am doesn’t get played. I had never allowed anyone to fuck with me before; you had just caught me in the weakest time of my life. You took advantage of my temporary emotional instability. I was grieving the loss of a very close relative, which fucked up my interpretation of life and my perception of the people around me.

My vulnerability convinced me you were there to help, when really you were only there to destroy. But what’s her excuse for putting up with you? Nothing, she doesn’t have one. She’s weak, and I hope she comes out of the fog sooner this time around. You use and abuse at every chance you get. It’s not just who you were with me, it’s who you are as a human being. Nobody can help, save, or fix you. You are who you are and that will not change – whether it’s her or me standing next to you.

I hope for her sake she wakes up and doesn’t let herself drown in you, again. Abuse involves a psychological game of manipulation and the only way to resign as a player is to understand that staying IS worse than leaving, and that your game-maker can no longer include you in their game of destruction if you quit – if you leave, if you prevent any and all kinds of contact. If she wants to be able to write her happily ever after, she has to let you finish your chapter on her by excusing herself from your story. Otherwise, the game continues.

Sure, exes can be friends. But not when your ex is a master manipulator who fiends for control over his lovers. You can’t be friends with someone like that, nobody can. As long as they are in your life, they have some form of control of it. They are professionals; it is what they are good at. And we, as victims, fall in love and play the game as a result. Once you fall in love with someone, you form an attachment. But here’s the hard truth: you can’t hold on to attachment and stay in contact with a manipulator if you want to take control of your own life.

So no, I am not jealous of her. Did I love you? Yes, absolutely, with my whole heart. But I am free now – you do not control me and I am not jealous of someone who let you control them both while they were in a relationship with you and while you were “just friends.” That’s weak shit, and I have no reason to feel envious of someone who continues to fall for your games. I set myself free, and I pray for the sake of her sanity that she finds the strength to do the same. I hope she finishes her chapter with you the same way that I did: letting go of the attachment, but keeping the lesson. TC mark

Here’s How It Felt When You Hesitated To Love Me

Posted: 15 Aug 2016 04:00 PM PDT

nydia hartono
nydia hartono

You called me up one night and told me you didn't know if you still loved me, and that you thought you were now capable to move on to someone else. It didn't come as a surprise, we'd both been worn down by our fights, but it broke something in me nonetheless.

Then you drifted farther and farther apart from me; you fed me more lies and you started suffocating in them. I watched you fall apart in front of me, and I wanted to pick you up and dust you off.

But I was more broken than I have ever been, and my strength couldn't carry us through anymore.

So I wore my heart on my sleeve, braver, more daring than ever. Look at me, look at me being genuine and patient, look at me being trusting even when you can't trust yourself! Watch me fall apart just to remind you desperately of all the qualities you used to love me for. I can prove it to you again once more, I can make you love me again!

And you did, you slowly came back. You stopped being so angry towards me, you tried loving me back. You started pulling me towards you more, you started leaning in.

But you shouldn't have.

Because turns out, you weren't ready to love me again. No, not fully. You were hesitating, and each moment you tossed and turned with a different decision of whether you loved me or not.

I didn't think I could hurt anymore but I did.

Every morning a nightmare as I awake, gasping for air, my heart thumping all through my body. I scratch my nails on my arm to grab hold of reality; I clench my fist to find some strength left inside of me. I am suffering, in every one of your hesitant moments to love me, or to not love me.

I die a little more inside watching you struggle between someone else, or me.

So even though I still miss you, and even though I still want you to love me back, I'm going to be the person who makes a decision this time around.

I choose me.

I know you need space, and I know you need time. But I am not going to sit around and pathetically pray for your love everyday. I am going to love myself all the times you can't, and even when you can, I will remember to put myself before you.

I am going to paint my own sky with stars of happiness. I am going to surround myself with friends and family who choose to love me each and everyday. I am going to become stronger, kinder, more generous with the love I give and more positive with each step I take. And if you can't love me again, I'm sorry, but at least this time around, I will know how to fall back onto a world of my own that is just as beautiful.

I choose me, and I am going to keep reminding myself until I don't have to anymore. TC mark

Don’t Let A Middleman Stand In The Way Of Your Success

Posted: 15 Aug 2016 03:30 PM PDT

Illustration by Daniella Urdinlaiz
Illustration by Daniella Urdinlaiz

My friend asked, do you know a good agent?

I thought of my last book agent. We had gone to college together. We had done four book deals together. We had made a lot of money for each other.

Then I fired him…

I told my friend why.

Here's what my middleman did:

After I had given him 4 layups in a row (I got the book deal, he made the contract and took his 15% cut), I gave him one book proposal where I didn't have a deal all ready for him.

This time I needed his help finding a publisher. I needed him to do his job.

We got rejected by 10 publishers. Deservedly, I might add.

One editor, in particular, was perfect for the project. I had researched all of her books and I knew I fit right in. I had done my homework and I was impressed by this editor (and I still love you HH).

I called my agent, Dan, and I asked him, why did this editor reject the book? We are perfect for her!

He said, I don't know.

I said to him, I ran a business for many years and was rejected all the time. But you only get information from failure when you find out why.Take her to lunch and ask her why she rejected us.

He said, OK. We hung up.

But then he must have thought about it because he called me ten minutes later and started yelling at me:

"IF YOU EVER TELL ME HOW TO DO MY JOB AGAIN, I WILL FIRE YOU AS A CLIENT!"

I got scared. When someone yells at me I am like a deer in headlights. We got off the phone.

I called the editor myself and explained why my book fit right in with her other authors.

She gave me her notes on the book "It feels like you read Wikipedia and wrote a book proposal".

I rewrote the proposal and sent it back to her. She bought the book idea straight from me ($60,000 advance) I wrote and published the book through her and her major publishing company.

I'm still friends with her. (Hi HH!)

I never wrote to the agent again, even though he wrote me many emails afterwards ("why aren't you responding to me?")

I ran into the agent in a bookstore many years later. He was with his wife and kids. (Awkward!)

I said hi and walked away. He came up to me when I was on line at the bookstore cafe and said, you know, you never wrote me back. That was very unprofessional.

You're right, I said. I'm sorry.

No, seriously. That was the most unprofessional thing I had ever seen.

I'm sorry.

The middleman doesn't deserve an explanation.

The middleman can be an agent, a teacher, a mentor, a boss, a company, a parent, a standardized test, a whoever.

Every day there is a new middleman trying to put their hands on your private parts and squeeze until you give them their imaginary cut on your art, on your soul, on your hard work.

I bought my coffee and sat down and read some books. I kind of was shaking because I don't like awkward confrontations.

But I still write and publish books. My self-published books have dominated my traditionally published books.

I can't even remember the agent's last name despite years of working together so I can't google him and tell you what he has done since then. Maybe nothing.

To me, that middleman is dead. I am still alive. TC mark

Please Don’t Come Back Into My Life Just To Leave Again

Posted: 15 Aug 2016 03:00 PM PDT

Noël Alva
Noël Alva

Please don’t come back into my life again, if all you are going to do is say goodbye. Please don’t come back into my life again, if all you are going to do is turn your back on me. And please, don’t come back into my life, just to leave. Again.

I’ve already said goodbye to you. I’ve already cried a river for you. I’ve wept an ocean. I’ve had to learn to walk again. I’ve had to re-learn how to breathe correctly.

You knocked the wind out of me when you left.

It felt like you dropped me from a thousand feet. So, you see, I had to re-learn how to live. Which is why you can’t come back if you’re going to walk away again. You can’t grant me the privilege of false hope. You can’t hold me in your arms and leave the next week. You can’t just do what you want. You can’t do that to me again.

You can’t expect me to run away from the tide. You can’t expect me to not smile at the storm. Because you will always be my favorite feeling in the world. You will always be my favorite raindrop on my skin, my favorite gust of wind that blows the hair off my face. My favorite chill in the hot summer heat.

You can’t expect me to ever say no to you. You can’t expect me to be strong. I’m a fool for you. A gigantic fool, with you etched into my heart. A gigantic fool, still in love.

So, if you come back, don’t leave.

If you come back, promise to stay in my life. Promise a future for us, like you did years ago. If you come back, don’t let go of my hand again.

I’ve already cried the atlantic for you. Don’t make me cry another sea. Don’t make me weather the storm by myself. Don’t leave me to pick up all the pieces you left by myself. Don’t leave your scent in everything I touch. Don’t leave your taste in everything I eat. Don’t leave your clothing drenched on my skin.

I don’t think I’ll be able to survive the loss again. I don’t think I can re-learn how to live for the second time.

So, if you come back, come back because you want to. Come back because you want to stay. Come back, because you want to say a thousand more hello’s, instead of goodbyes. Come back, because you want to say a thousand more I love you’s, instead of I’m sorry’s. TC mark

32 Guardians Explain How They Heal Themselves After A Heartbreak

Posted: 15 Aug 2016 02:00 PM PDT

 Chel Hirons
Chel Hirons

ESTJ


1. “After a breakup I get very involved in a lot of things to distract myself.”


2. “I move through the stages quickly and can come back. Immediately following heartbreak, I NEED people. I need to feel validated and know that I am good enough, even though I’m crying and saying the exact opposite. I typically go to a friend’s house to force myself out of an environment where I’m surrounded by my own thoughts and/or their memory. I go from sad to angry quickly and then experience sadness again. I typically take to drinking and not eating which is not advice I’d like to pass on to others but info you can use in research. My advice for other ESTJers is to surround yourself with people that can remind you how worthy you are and how much better off you are without them!”


3. “I have to be still and quiet with no one talking to me, no one around me. I have to wait for the void to make sense, to wait until I can analyse and understand it all. I need to be alone with my thoughts and let them roll in whatever direction they go. Once I have done that then I can let others in again, once the pain has become manageable and smaller, then I’ll know I can cope and that I will come out the other side. I know it will end.”


ISTJ


1. “I analyze everything that happened over and over until I come to logical conclusions as to why it happened and how it will affect me from here on out. I stay busy (especially with the work) as a distraction, putting all of my effort into other things I care about. Occasionally I will do things to treat myself, but not in an emotional binge kind of way. Eventually I stop thinking about the heartbreak and move on.”


2. “To heal: I sleep, do what I love – gardening, drawing, hope tomorrow will be a better day. I just move on, but I don’t forget easily. Time will heal the heartbroken Advice: always move on.”


3. “I do all the traditional stuff – allow myself to grieve, try to focus on myself, both eat a lot and exercise – but I largely try to rationalize why it was better and realize that if he was “the one” then he would still be in my life. Just know there are so many people in this world – there is someone for everyone and in a few months or years, you will see this was a necessary step in the journey because you and the love of your life will be eating pancakes on a Sunday morning not even remembering this pain you currently feel.”


4. “I tell people I’m fine and then get home and go straight to my room and sob. Then I take a hot shower.”


5. “My advice to heartbroken ISTJs is: Feel for a while. Allow time to heal. Three days, a week, whatever – it’s your choice. But when that time is over, then you pick yourself up and move on.”


6. “I literally work it out of my system. Cleaning, data entry, workout, physical labor, office work. Then later I’ll try and process it emotionally with a close friend who is more emotionally based than me and can help me make sense of the ‘nonsense’. I would tell others that it’s okay for everything to not make sense because eventually it will. And it’s okay to process things the way you do, but don’t neglect to find that friend who will help make it all better again!”


7. “I had to be told that it wasn’t my fault because I was so sure I was the problem; I wanted to make it work. Once I realized that, it was a matter of facing reality, not kicking myself for having emotions, and accepting the fact that life goes on. I intended to be with my former partner indefinitely, but you can’t plan everything.”


8. “Usually, I give myself a day to be completely consumed and occupied by the thoughts. Then, I plunge myself into work as a distraction. I’m not a cryer and feel embarrassed that I have invested that much emotion into a love interest/significant other. For closure sake, I also explain to myself why it wasn’t meant to be. Then I refocus my attention on goals and plans for improvement. I have learned, however, that the sooner I admit to myself my true feelings and give myself permission to feel disappointment, the better I am and the sooner I’ll move on.”


9. “I make a clean break – no contact with the ex. I actually like to talk about it with people, which I guess is not really an introverted thing to do? It’s just comforting to hear other people’s stories and realize everyone’s been through it. I think it also helps to throw yourself into other activities.”


ESFJ


1. “I stay busy by pouring my self out to others. I try to run from my heart break. Nights are always the hardest for me.”


2. “When I experience heartbreak, I am consumed with its pain at first. I like to spend some time alone to begin the healing process. When I am heartbroken, I feel completely let down by the other person, and I am reluctant to ask for help from others. I naturally seek approval of from others, but when I experience deep disappointment and hurt because of someone else, I tend to seek out my own validation. I find the strength within myself to heal, and I’m always surprised at how strong I really am. My advice to others: spend quality time alone in reflection and meditation. Put yourself first and be unapologetic about it. You can only be that incredible friend or family member when you allow yourself the time to heal and come back even stronger than before.”


3. “When I’m heartbroken I stay in bed and cry.”


4. “Heartbreak involves me having to tell myself to stop feeling so much for my other half, because even if I was hurt too much, it’s hard not to still put myself in her shoes. I start to actually take out more time for myself, doing what I love, surrounding myself with people who listen to my heartbreak woes and build me up afterwards. It is an ongoing process because you wouldn’t know when you have actually moved on until you see the person and realise that you no longer feel that soul-shattering pain and can love the person as she is. Moving on has to involve the step for us to actually start to live for ourselves instead of being so attuned to our exes and how they are coping with the heartbreaks. I mean, it sounds like we are being jerks for doing so, but when you care too much for people, this is what we have to learn to do in order to become stronger, to love the next person who comes along that is great for us.”


5. “I stay inside. I tell myself they were just a person and that there’s Plenty of people in the sea. I talk to people. I surround myself with friends. I get out and about to feel the fresh air on my face and remind myself that I am whole, without anybody else and I don’t need anybody else to feel whole.”


6. “I eat ice cream and sulk for a few days. Then I get over it.”


7. “I surround myself with people I love. I keep myself busy and do everything with a purpose, to remind myself that life goes on and that I am important as an individual. I find different ways to spread all the love I have to spare.”


8. “When I’m heartbroken, I tend to try and distract myself with anything to forget the pain. I just keep doing that until the pain isn’t there too much anymore. Also, I always remember that helping someone else will always make your day brighter!”


ISFJ


1. “When I’m heartbroken I surround myself with people who love me and who I love. I try to focus on the things that make me happy, get out of the house, exercise, stop ruminating in sadness. Get rid of things that reminded me of the old person because otherwise I’ll never move on. Also think of the bigger picture and that there are so many other people out there.”


2. “I need to remember myself how much I worth as a person. After that I make plans to improve in other areas of my life and make efforts to become a better version of myself.”


3. “I try to remember that time heals everything.”


4. “Right after it happens I surround myself with friends and family so I don’t have to be alone with my thoughts. I plan my weeks out so I know exactly when I’m going to have to be alone and when I’m going to have people surrounding me. Binge watch a favorite show to distract you or go to your favorite place often (I go to the beach a lot after a heart break). As time passes and you can breath again let yourself really think about everything and feel all the pain. Write lists of what you want different in a next relationship and what you want to work on in yourself so that you are looking positively in the future and it gives you an outlet to already be investing in your future relationship. Don’t be friends with your ex, I know I invest and love my partners 100% and to break that bond goes against your nature, but you have to let go and sometimes be firm to them and/or yourself that it’s completely over because anything less than 100% commitment and love isn’t worth it, but that firmness is something that doesn’t always come naturally and is always hard for me. Take it a day at a time and look to the future you want, the future where you love yourself and your future partner 100% and they return that love.”


5. “I don’t get over heartbreak, not really. I’m a true-blue lover. I cannot stop loving someone once I’ve decided to love them. Only time and space helps to lessen the emotion, but it never really goes away.”


6. “When I’m heartbroken I either play xbox or listen to music. I would advise other ISFJs to talk to someone about your heartbrokenness, or maybe do an activity you enjoy to make yourself feel better.”


7. “What I do/have done in the past is not what I’d recommend. But I imagine other ISFJs can empathize. I dwell on the breakup and memories of the relationship almost constantly. I find songs with breakup lyrics applicable to our relationship and play them on repeat in a playlist. Subconsciously, I immediately start trying to look for opportunities that could lead to a new long-relationship to fill the hole in my heart and life (not a temporary fix or one-night-stand… but the next potential suitor who would ideally lead to marriage).

I also distract myself as much as possible with Netflix/movies, but also have plenty of sobbing fests during when alone behind closed doors. Crying and dwelling on the pain is awful, but ignoring it and not spending plenty of time feeling the loss deeply would be far worse. That’s more or less what I do/have done. It’s been a few years since my last breakup.

What I’d actually recommend, and how I wish I would have handled things in the past, would be to spend time grieving the relationship without obsessing over it or being consumed by it. Being that emotionally dependent on a guy is unhealthy. Don’t immediately start looking for another man; be content with where you are as best you can. No guy can satisfy your needs 100% or complete you anyway… only God is able to satisfy your heart that deeply. So grieve the loss, pray, and schedule time to spend with friends instead of moping alone in your room or in the shower for hours on end.”


8. “Surround myself with family. Reassure myself that everything will be fine and just move on.”


9. “I surround myself with friends and relatives and keep busy. I’m the type of person who just pretends everything is okay until it is, or I have a complete mental breakdown. One of the two. Kidding, but only kind of. My advice: think about it, learn from it and move on. ISFJs spend way too much time analyzing the situation, going back and going over it and over it, trying to figure out what went wrong. Just stop dwelling, and you’ll come out just fine.”


10. “As an ISFJ, I DWELL on specific moments of the past and the feelings that came with them. This goes on for weeks and it is brutal. So I started writing everything down. When I thought of a moment or a date or a kiss that I didn’t want to forget, I wrote it all out. This helped me to let go of those memories and the associated feelings that punched me in the gut every time I thought of them. I spent a lot of time praying too. Knowing that those thoughts are all kept in a journal if I ever want to revisit them allows me to push them aside and be in the present.”


11. “It took me years to get through my heartbreak and to be honest, it still haunts me at times. It ebbs and flows, still. What works best for me is staying busy: going out and laughing with friends, reminding myself why I’m happier without him, keeping my mind occupied on other things, avoiding situations where I would see him or any trigger that would make the longing rush back.”


12. “I’ll own it as my choice to move on. I’ll find my identity in something else and my place to belong somewhere else. I’ll see all the different ways why it would never have worked and keep note of what I am looking for. Advice to others of my type: know yourself and know what you want. And make a decision in advance that you won’t let it destroy you if things go south. Learn from everything.”TC mark

Daily Beast Outing Of Olympic Athletes Is Gay-Shaming, Not Journalism

Posted: 15 Aug 2016 01:30 PM PDT

Instagram
Instagram

This year in Rio, a record breaking 49 LGBT athletes are competing, as compared to 12 in Bejing, and 23 at the London games. Rio also marks the first time a transgender model has been used at an Opening Ceremony, after Brazilian model Lea T rode into the Maracana stadium pedaling the bicycle that carried Brazil’s name ahead of the host team marching out. Here in the states, Chris Mosier became the first out transgender athlete on the U.S. men's national team when he qualified in the sprint duathlon earlier this year, and now is starring in his own Nike ad. And while rugby player Isadora Cerullo didn’t secure a bronze, silver or gold medal, she won a partner for life after girlfriend Marjorie Enya, a volunteer at the 2016 Olympics, proposed to her in front of teammates, volunteers and media. These and numerous other stories are highlighting a rising trend for the LGBT community—acceptance. The internet, however, was right there as always to remind us why we can't just have nice things.

On Thursday, in a move that feels much more at home at gossip-sites like Gawker, Daily Beast reporter Nico "straight-with-a-wife-and-child-and-me-thinks-he-doth-protest-too-much" Hines, published a piece of clickbait, titled, "I Got Three Grindr Dates in an Hour in the Olympic Village," and summarily outed several closeted athletes.

Perhaps, the similarity stems from the fact that Gawker did essentially the same thing almost exactly one year ago to the day, when they aided a blackmailing escort in outing a non-public figure, who's brother just happened to be a senator. Unsurprisingly, that Daily Beast would go on to publish several critical reactions to Gawker's decision, including "The Day Gawker Tore Itself Apart," and "Why Outing Will Never Vanquish Gay Shame"

In his own words, Hines was shocked to learn that the Olympics have become, "a hotbed of partying athletes, hookups, and sex, sex, sex." Particularly gay "sex, sex, sex.," and decided to cruise hookup apps in order to, I don't know, cheat on his wife probably? Hines apparently never stumbled onto one of the countless stories that come out every four years detailing the increase in condoms that are passed out amongst athletes in the Olympic Village, which peaked this year 450,000.

The piece is meant to serve as a voyeuristic peephole for straight readers to get a glimpse at gay life, and it isn't anything new, sadly.

Bobby Finger at Jezebel called the article a "breathlessly written account of someone who appears to think gay sex is as mysterious as the prehistoric origins of Tilda Swinton." And Mark Joseph Stern at Slate called it "a uniquely disgusting and irresponsible entry into the tired genre," rightfully accusing Hines of taking pleasure in "luring in these Olympians then outing them to all the world."

"But the offensive purpose of Hines' article is really the least of its problems," Stern adds. "Far worse is the actual damage it will likely cause to real, live human beings—inevitable consequences that Hines blithely ignored."

One of the athletes, by Hines’ own admission in the article, was from a country with anti-gay laws. Openly gay Olympic swimmer Amini Fonua, who has represented Tonga in the 2012 and 2016 Summer Olympics, was beside himself with disgust at the article, tweeting several statements, including, "1 of the guys you just outed is only 18 years old… I was 18 once & nowhere near ready to come out," as well as, "Imagine the one space you can feel safe, the one space you’re able to be yourself, ruined by a straight person who thinks it’s all a joke?" Hines invaded a safe space for gay individuals, no differently than Omar Mateen did, when he killed 49 people in an Orlando gay nightclub, just two months ago.

While he didn't call out any of the men by name, Hines did share quite a bit of identifying information about them. "Athlete profiles on the various apps during my short exploration included a Brazilian track star, an Italian volleyball player, a South American record-holder in the pool, a sailor from New Zealand, a British diver, and a handball player from a notoriously homophobic country,' he wrote. The article goes on to include height-and-weight measurements, and while paired with their events, and countries of origin, there was more than enough info to discern the identities of athletes, whose physical stats are widely publicized.

Naturally, a lot of people weren't pleased with Hines' stunt:

By 10:30 a.m. ET, the Daily Beast had, in a tone-deaf show of concern, edited out the most identifying details about closeted athletes. The piece would not be removed altogether until Thursday evening, with an editor’s note beginning, “Today, The Daily Beast took an unprecedented but necessary step: We are removing an article from our site”—while internally congratulating themselves on all the web traffic generated.

For his part, Hines has yet to respond to the controversy. But he did tweet about the long lines at McDonald's in Rio yesterday:

P.S., this whole thing feels like a bad sequel to Never Been Kissed. TC mark