Thought Catalog

15 Dominating Things She Wishes You’d Do During Rough Sex

Posted: 16 Aug 2016 10:00 PM PDT

Twenty20, brookeekelund
Twenty20, brookeekelund

1. Grab her when she’s walking past you, push her up against a wall, and press your boner against her. Then grind on her, so your bulge rubs against her clit.

2. Grab her wrists and pin them over her head. It’s even better if you can hold down both of her wrists with only one of your hands. It’ll remind her of how big and strong you are.

3. Kiss her like you mean it. Thrust your tongue inside of her mouth and moan like you’ve just tasted the best thing in your god damn life. And don’t just focus on her lips. Push her head to the side so you can suck and nibble on her neck.

4. Speaking of nibbling, work your way down to her shoulder and start biting. Not hard enough to break skin or leave a mark that lasts. Just hard enough to make her gasp.

5. Undress her. Don’t wait for her to undo her bra herself or pull down her jeans. You’re the one in charge. You’re the one who should be tearing off her clothes, like you can’t wait another second to stick your cock in her.

6. Throw her onto the bed. Don’t place her down tenderly, like she’s a piece of glass you’re worried about shattering. Gently shove her onto the blankets and then climb on top of her to do all the work yourself.

7. Pull her hair. This works best if you’re doing it Doggy style, but you can make it work from pretty much any position. She’ll fucking love it. Just remember to grab her hair close to the scalp. Don’t yank the ends, because that’s just painful.

8. Grab her waist while you’re thrusting and hold her as tightly as you can. If you leave bruises, that’s okay (as long as she says it’s okay), because her shirt will cover up the spot, and she can continue to act innocent around her family and friends.

9. Lightly choke her. Just don’t put any pressure on her windpipe, because you don’t want to actually make her breathless. You have to be careful with this one, but if you can pull it off, she’ll feel completely dominated.

10. Spank her. Start out lightly to see how she responds to it, and if she asks you to do it harder, then do it harder.

11. Thrust hard and fast. This isn’t the time to move slowly and gently while staring lovingly into her eyes. Let out your animalistic side.

12. Go crazy with the dirty talk. Tell her how sexy she looks and curse whenever she does something that turns you on. And if she’s comfortable being called a dirty little slut, you can do that, too.

13. Leave scratch marks down her back. Normally, that would be her job, since she’s the one with the long nails, but she’ll enjoy the sensation just as much as you do. It’s just plain sexy.

14. If she asks you to give it to her rough, props will be your very best friend. Tie a scarf around her eyes to blind her, use handcuffs to secure her wrists together, or take out a whip to slap against her backside.

15. Now, this one should be obvious, but before any of this goes down, make sure you get her consent. And create a safe word ahead of time, so she can blurt it out if she feels even the slightest bit uncomfortable. TC mark

Tell Me, Do You Fuck Her Like You Used To Fuck Me?

Posted: 16 Aug 2016 08:45 PM PDT

Helga Weber Follow
Helga Weber Follow

I know you're coming.

I can feel it. The anticipation is killer. Because at any second I know you're going to be here, ringing my door, skipping stairs to get to me, and I'll have 30 seconds of sheer lightheadedness, heart beating so hard, my nerves screaming, before you're there to invade me and I become a wild fire. Even the idea of your body makes it feel like my bones are splitting apart. Wherever you are, hurry.

I stand behind the door with my hands and forehead pressed against it, eyes squeezed shut. I can't breathe. My body clenches against the door, just trying not to fall apart before you're here. How do you do it? Seriously, I would do anything in the world you wanted me to do. Even if it meant to take me forever right here against this door.

I hear your steps, your eager steps. I can taste your skin already. I bite my bottom lip and swing open the door. One look at you and I'm done. That stare goes right down my throat. You got me. Right then. Right there. Holy fuck, I want you, more than I've ever wanted anyone. I reach for you, to pull you inside. You reach for me, to push me hard against the wall, with my face between your hands. You know I like it like that, when you command my lips, pinning me against the wall with the excitement in your jeans, steering my body with your tongue. You smell like soap and heat. You taste like mint and gin. I want to taste you all over, everywhere. But don't move quite yet. Just keep kissing me and kissing me and kissing me. There's time. But I know we can't wait.

Our hands are all over each other now. I want you to fuck me. I claw at your back, squeeze your arms. You pull my hair, but I like it rough like that. I grab your face to take command of you this time, as our mouths open wider. You go up my shirt, filling your hands with me, then trace your fingertips all the way down my stomach and put the top of my pants in your aggressive fist. You stop. You open your eyes and look at me. Your stare, I'm convinced, is it for me. You kiss me again, slowly and just one, before putting a fingerprint on my mouth and study how badly it wants more of you, thirsty and devoted, before undoing my pants and reaching in. You know what to do. Yeah, you do. Just like that.

Soon, you've turned me around to face the wall. I'm in the same position as before you first got here, with my hands and forehead pressed against it. That same lightheadedness. Heart beating so hard. Nerves still screaming. Except now I'm naked from the waist down. And so are you, pushing into me from behind, inhaling the smell of me this time, nudging my neck with your mouth, locking your hands into my hands, before reaching around and touching me. I am flushed pink, chills, hot breath tangled, touch telling stories. Lit.

What it is about us? Fucking like crazy, like if we don't have each other right here, right now, we'll die. Even after all this time. How? The thought of you and I'm desperate. I'm desperate now and your fuck is all over me. But it isn't a time for sense. I will never get it. I don't want to get it. Raw and transfixed desire, it's what stirs the core of us. Go, baby, go. Fuck it. Shh. I know you're coming. I can feel it. And I want you to. All in. But it isn't over now.

We can never fuck just once.

There's something in us, remember, like we're starving and addicted to rapture, me and you, and our dirty wicked romance. You know what to do. Yeah, you do. Just like that.

Is that how your new girlfriend likes it, too? TC mark

This Is The Truth About The Feelings You Experience When Cheating On Your Significant Other

Posted: 16 Aug 2016 08:00 PM PDT

Katie Salerno
Katie Salerno

1. Thrill.

You automatically know what you’re doing is wrong. You’re only lying to yourself by feigning innocence. Maybe it’s the rush of entertaining something you know is incredibly immoral, but no second thoughts linger long enough in your mind to stop yourself from what you’re about to do.

2. Rationalization.

Once it happens, it’s over. You can’t take it back. Before you allow it to sink in, you’ll most likely conjure up any type justification for what you did. He flirts with plenty of other girls. He ignores your texts. You’ll attempt to ease your conscience with just about every excuse in the book.

3. Regret.

You finally realized you couldn’t fool yourself– what you did was so awful and if you could, you'd rewind time to that moment and instantly pull yourself away.

4. Guilt.

Each time your significant other kisses you or even asks about your day, a new wave of guilt overcomes you. You feel sick thinking about how good he is to you when you did the worst thing possible to him.

5. Paranoia.

On top of that, you’re constantly afraid he will find out, even if he has zero connections to the person you did it with. You're so paranoid you worry he can already read it off your face without you even uttering a word.

6. Remorse.

Maybe you finally told your partner. Or maybe the truth found its way back to him. You've apologized countless times yet it still doesn't feel like enough; you vow to do anything to make it up to him. Seeing the despair in his eyes rather than only visualizing it in your head is a reminder of how important this man is to you and how heartbroken you’d be if you lost him.

7. Acceptance.

Maybe he gave you a second chance. Maybe he didn’t. Either way, you’ve finally come to terms with what you did and decided to stop beating yourself up about it. You made a mistake, but you found the courage to forgive yourself. You can’t be miserable forever.

8. Renewal.

Some say "once a cheater always a cheater," but that's both pessimistic and ignorant. This situation taught you that no brief moment of satisfaction is worth sacrificing a valuable relationship. Trust takes months to build and seconds to destroy, which is why swore to yourself that you'd never hurt anyone like this again. Your past does not define you and now you’re a more loving, faithful, and compassionate version of yourself than you ever knew was possible. TC mark

37 Gooey Goodnight Texts To Make Your Boyfriend Smile Before Bed

Posted: 16 Aug 2016 07:00 PM PDT

Annika Boron
Annika Boron

1. I can’t wait until the day I can stop texting you goodnight and can just whisper it into your ear.

2. The further away you are, the harder it is for me to fall asleep.

3. I wish I had my head on your chest instead of this pillow.

4. I hope I dream of you tonight, because I don’t think I can stand eight hours away from you.

5. I’m so tired. But I don’t want to stop talking to you.

6. My bed is much more comfortable when you’re in it.

7. Did I ever mention I sleep naked?

8. I hate saying goodnight. I’d rather say good morning.

9. My dog is sleeping in my bed with me, but there’s still plenty of room for you.

10. I feel like I’m already dreaming, because I’m texting my dream man.

11. I wish I was cuddling with you instead of the teddy bear you bought me.

12. I can’t sleep, because I’m too excited about seeing you tomorrow.

13. I bought a skimpy new nightgown I know you’d love. I wish you were here to see it.

14. Have you looked at the moon tonight? It’s almost as gorgeous as you are.

15. I love you, but somehow, in the morning I’ll love you even more.

16. Just so you know, I’ve been sitting in bed, replaying the perfect day we had over and over in my head.

17. If you were in bed with me, we wouldn’t be sleeping.

18. I want sex and snuggles.

19. Why should I bother to fall asleep? I’m already living out my dream.

20. When are we moving in together? I never want to spend another night away from you.

21. Would you call me corny if I admitted I keep my phone over my heart as I sleep?

22. You look adorable when you sleep. I wish I was there to see it.

23. I’m already half-asleep, but I just wanted to text you to remind you that I’m absolutely crazy about you.

24. Today was amazing. But I know tomorrow will be even better.

25. You better not have any nightmares. I don’t want anyone to hurt you, even in your dreams.

26. Dream of me, because I’m definitely going to be dreaming of you.

27. I wanted to make you smile before you drifted off to sleep. I hope this text does the trick.

28. I can’t fall asleep without hearing the sound of your breathing. Or your snoring.

29. I want your face to be the last thing I see at night and the first thing I see in the morning.

30. I miss everything about you.

31. I want you to kiss my forehead and hold me close until we fall asleep in each other’s arms.

32. Words can’t explain how much I miss you, but emojis might. 😢😿😢

33. It’s freezing in here. I wish I had your body pressed against me to warm me up.

34. I wish you were here, so we could cuddle all night and have sex all morning.

35. I don’t want to be the girl who can’t spend a night without her boyfriend, but… I am.

36. I sent a goodnight kiss through the phone. Did you get it?

37. Dream of me. TC mark

13 Men Describe What They Love About Kissing A Woman

Posted: 16 Aug 2016 06:00 PM PDT


1. “It’s like a window into a girl’s personality. Everyone kisses differently so experiences how someone kisses is a physical expression of what kind of person they are. Are they creative? Are they boring? Sensual? Playful? I love discovering who they are.” — Ben, 28

2. “I like how you can really tell how they feel about you in that moment. They might be playing hard to get or be shy in general, but when you’re kissing and they grab you and they’re really passionate, you just feel really wanted. It’s the best feeling.” — Erik, 22

3. It’s just such an intimate act, and it feels so much sweeter than sex. It’s a more pure way to say “I really like you.” — Jonathan, 25

4. “I always love being touched by a woman. I love her being so close and smelling her, and the way her touch is so soft.” — David, 26

5. “There’s something about kissing and biting a girl’s lips — I like feeling her react to me. I like the little sounds she makes. It’s a little preview of sex.” — Justin, 26

6. “To be honest, I’m generally thinking about where the kiss is going than enjoying kissing on it’s own, indefinitely. That said, it’s completely love to be enveloped by her and her feminine body and to anticipate all the other places she’s going to kiss me.” — Matthew, 24

7. “I like it because it’s her showing me that she likes me instead of telling me.” — Drew, 20

8. “I love it when a woman takes control and like, grabs a fistful of my hair. Being pleasantly surprised by a girl who seemed like a good girl is the best.” — Josh, 32

9. “If she molds her kissing style with mine I know the sex with her is going to be awesome. This anticipation is exciting, I love that.” — Chris, 21

10. “I love how I can tell what mood she’s in by the way she kisses.” — Michael, 27

11. “Kissing is more emotional, it’s more about feeling like I really like her. Sex can be overpowered by physical desire, so kissing is enjoyable because you can focus on those feelings.” — Zak, 26

12. “Talking about how you feel is boring, kissing communicates that, but it’s way more fun.” — Danny, 21

13. “I would rather show someone how I feel about them than express myself through words. I love kissing my girlfriend because I think I accomplish this. I like to stroke her hair and kiss her lips and forehead and make her feel loved.” — Matthew,24 TC mark

If He Actually Loves You, He’ll Do These 30 Things Even If It Kills Him

Posted: 16 Aug 2016 05:15 PM PDT

Twenty20, sangriel
Twenty20, sangriel

1. Say, “I love you” in front of his guy friends, even if it means they’ll call him whipped for the next decade.

2. Go to your family parties, even though he doesn’t know anyone and is going to end up following you around like a puppy the entire time.

3. Take a million selfies with you until you find the right one, even though he thought the first one looked perfectly fine.

4. Take care of you when you’re sick, even though your nose is dripping and there’s vomit everywhere.

5. Let you drag him into Sephora to search for the perfect shade of nail polish, even though he has absolutely no idea what the difference is between rose pink and bubblegum pink.

6. Eat the food you made especially for him, even though you burnt it to an inedible crisp.

7. Hang out with your friends and try his best to have a good time, even though they have zero things in common.

8. Find you the perfect birthday gift, even if it takes him months to come up with a good idea.

9. Get up and dance with you at weddings, even though he knows he’s going to look like a complete fool.

10. Let you borrow his jacket when you’re cold, even if he’s shivering just as much as you are.

11. Wear the ridiculous looking sweater you bought him, because he knows it would make you happy.

12. Turn down the sexy lady who has been flirting with him at the bar, because there’s no way in hell he’d ever cheat on you.

13. Wash the dishes when he knows that you’ve had a super rough day, even though it’s actually your turn to take care of them.

14. Buy tampons for you, even though he has no idea where the right aisle is.

15. Cancel big plans he had with his friends, because an emergency came up and he knows you need him.

16. Sit through family dinners and keep a polite smile on his face, even after your drunk uncle starts going off about politics.

17. Cook for you, even if he’s never picked up a spatula in his entire life.

18. Hold back your hair after you have ten shots too many, even though he told you that you should’ve switched to drinking water and all he wants to do is brag.

19. Watch the rom-com (or crappy horror movie) that you’ve been dying to see in theaters, because none of your friends will agree to sit through it with you.

20. Let you have a bite of his dessert, even though he asked you if you wanted to buy your own ten times, and you kept refusing.

21. Stay in with you when you’re on your period, because he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable by forcing you to go out.

22. Apologize to you after a fight, because he hates the thought of you being mad at him.

23. Go grocery shopping with you, because he doesn’t want you to be forced to take care of all of the household chores on your own.

24. Fly to Hawaii or London or Tahiti for a fun vacation with you, even though he’s terrified of planes.

25. Participate in your family traditions, even if he usually doesn’t celebrate holidays.

26. Learn what kind of deodorant and razors you use, so he can pick up the right ones when he goes to the store.

27. Memorize your birthday and your anniversary, no matter how bad he is with dates.

28. Go on dates you’re super excited about and keep an open mind the entire time, even though he’d never go there on his own.

29. Listen to you snore without complaining, because he’s used to the sounds of your body.

30. Spend the rest of his life with you, even if he’s terrified of commitment, because he knows life wouldn’t be the same without you. TC mark

44 Truths About Who You Are, According To Your Zodiac Sign

Posted: 16 Aug 2016 05:00 PM PDT


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TC mark

24 Hilarious Things That Happened On Everyone’s Childhood Family Vacation

Posted: 16 Aug 2016 04:30 PM PDT

National Lampoon's Vacation
National Lampoon’s Vacation

1. The weeks leading up to the annual (somewhat mandatory) family vacation were filled with excitement, sure, but ultimately everyone understood that nobody was going to come out of it unscathed.

2. The unspoken golden rule of family vacations: the more family members present correlated to how miserable the trip was going to end up being.

3. Every vacation started out with you never leaving on time.

4. One person somehow always—ALWAYS—managed to forget something somewhat critical, like their toothbrush or contact solution. Your mom would react to this mistake like it was a fatal, insulting blow to how she raised you.

5. It was super shitty if you ended up sitting in the middle seat for a long car ride. Your siblings would get so many luxurious options for where they could lean their heads and close their eyes, while you got stuck staring through the windshield and listening to your Dad's Lynyrd Skynyrd album as he screamed at traffic.

6. Ugh, the pit stops. Your brother somehow always developed a bladder the size of a thimble the moment he buckled his seatbelt. It was like some weird Pavlovian effect of being in a car with 4+ other people for more than 10 minutes.

7. But also you would always feel uncomfortable asking for a pit stop—why was it that you always needed to pee approximately 10 minutes after you just left a gas station?—so you would sit there in painful, bursting agony until someone else said something first.

8. There was no temperature that could please everyone. Two people sitting next to each other in the back seat would be sweating excessively and convulsing with chills respectively.

9. Honestly, if your sister breathed any louder or if your brother asked one more "Would You Rather" question, you were going to open the car door and throw yourself out onto the highway.

10. Your parents seemed to enjoy taking the opportunity to cram all of their spawn into the backseat of a speeding car and then take turns lecturing each child about their individual flaws.

11. If you guys were flying somewhere, your Dad would make everyone show up to the airport five hours before the boarding time.

12. Everyone paired off to gang up on one another, so if you were in a family with an odd number, odds are someone was going to unanimously be selected as the tortured target for the entire vacation. It was always you.

13. By the time you reached your destination, honestly, nobody wanted to talk to anyone anymore. And you had another five days together.

14. The whole notion of “unconditional familial love" was squashed the second it was time to get food. It was like everyone decided to behave like a Yelp Elite food critic when the time came to pick what restaurant you were going to for dinner.

15. It really wasn't a successful family vacation if there wasn't one meal that resulted in someone either crying in public or storming off.

16. Your Mom wanted to photograph everything that ever happened. And absolutely no one wanted their picture taken. Ever.

17. Your Dad always carried around a backpack or, like, some kind of pouch, on family vacations. And exclusively wore cargo shorts.

18. Your parents always constantly encouraged you and your siblings to eat healthy on vacation, as if it were humanly possible for one to look at a menu and see “french fries” and “free soda refills” and then actively choose not to order either.

19. Nobody wanted to sleep near your brother because he snored. Your sister once punched you in the face in her sleep. Your Dad always wanted everyone to wake up at the crack of dawn. Your Mom was "not a morning person," which somehow translated to an excuse for why she hogged the bathroom.

20. You also thought it was totally gross that you had to share a bed, so you and your siblings would barricade the middle of the hotel beds with pillows so that there was absolutely no way you could even touch each other throughout the night.

21. Your parents treated you and your siblings making too much noise in the hotel room as a cardinal sin.

22. Therefore, when you and your siblings inevitably got into huge meltdown fights either right after waking up or right before going to bed, there was a lot of whisper-screaming going on.

22. There was something about spending every minute of every day (without any alone time) with these people that made you think, Holy shit how are we all related?

23. Whether it was for a museum or some other *~*fun family activity*~* that required tickets, you understood from the tender age of 10 that hell must be waiting in line with your entire family for something no one really wanted to do.

24. Every vacation concluded with your Dad announcing: “We’re never doing this again.” TC mark

50 Questions To Ask If You Want To Know What Your Partner Really Thinks

Posted: 16 Aug 2016 04:00 PM PDT


1. If you had 30 seconds to make a speech that every person in the world would hear, what would you say?

2. Why do you think the people who hurt you most did what they did?

3. What’s a common quality of people you dislike? Do you embody that trait in any way?

4. Do happy people seem naïve to you?

5. Describe the difference between a sensation and an emotion.

6. To what would you attribute your success – privilege or talent?

7. What’s holding you back from your fullest potential – drive or circumstances?

8. What’s the biggest problem with the world?

9. How would we theoretically solve it?

10. What do you consider “insensitive” to say to someone?

11. What do you find more empowering: reciting a prayer, or reciting a personal mantra?

12. What’s something you can teach me?

13. What was the last thing you taught yourself?

14. Tell me about your worst breakup, why was it so bad?

15. What do you think makes you a great partner?

16. What do you know for sure about yourself?

17. When is it acceptable to insult someone?

18. How do you judge the people you date in terms of whether or not they’re right for you?

19. Do you believe in having a “type?”

20. Describe what happens when you completely lose your cool.

21. What do you have the most anxiety about?

22. How do you cope with anxiety?

23. How do you compensate for your greatest weakness?

24. How do you know when you love someone?

25. Do you think love is an action or a feeling?

26. What celebrity do you dislike the most, and why?

27. Which do you act on more often: your desire for pleasure or achievement?

28. What is worth suffering for?

29. What do you think the purpose of pain is?

30. Is your life about attaining things, or becoming a better person?

31. Do you believe there are evil people in the world, or just people who are sick/brainwashed/conditioned to believe their actions are “good?”

32. Why do you think people seek approval?

33. Describe the five people you spend the most time with. Why do you enjoy their company?

34. Do you believe you can change a part of your personality?

35. Have you ever tried?

36. Would you rather be smart or happy?

37. Would you rather be successful or attractive?

38. Who inspires you? Why?

39. What’s your favorite book? Why?

40. What’s your personal mission statement?

41. What do you daydream about?

42. Do you believe it’s okay not to correct an older person if they’re being ignorant, because that’s the “respectful” thing to do?

43. When is it okay to lie?

44. How do you develop self-awareness?

45. What’s one thing you think about more than anything else?

46. Do you ever feel inconvenienced by other people’s emotions?

47. What do you find more empowering: reciting a prayer, or reciting a personal mantra?

48. What’s the worst thing that ever happened to you? In retrospect, do you think it served a purpose?

49. Do you think your greatest fears can tell you anything about your greatest desires?

50. Would you rather be more sensitive and help other people understand their emotions, or feel less and deal with fewer of your own? TC mark

How My Best Friend Coming Out To Me Changed My Perspective On The LGBT Community (And On Life)

Posted: 16 Aug 2016 03:30 PM PDT

A little over a year ago, one of my best friends came out to me. And since then, not only do I feel a greater sense of overall empathy (that I believe all humans should feel for one another), but I have made a greater effort to understand the trials faced by not only him, but the LGBTQ+ community as a whole. I've learned that just because you do not identify with a particular group – and that goes for any group(s) of people outside of your own – does not mean that you should treat any such group as an 'outsider.' Here is what my friend taught me about the LGBT community and what they go through.

People lose friends over who they are.

When my friend came out to me, it had been after we had known each other for well over eight months. This news came as a bit of a shock to me, as I figured something like that would have come up earlier on in conversation. This is not because it's a label one has to put on him- or herself, but simply because the topic of conversation had come up multiple times.

Telling me this, he explained that he hadn't told me because he was afraid of losing me as a friend. After coming out to his other friends, he had lost many along the way, making him afraid of telling anyone else. In my opinion, any other reason for cutting ties with a friend, particularly if it is simply a part of someone, makes you the horrible friend. Our aim should always be to support people, especially those who are closest to us. I found that by broadening my understanding of what he was facing, it enabled me to do just this to the best of my abilities.

By talking about what he is experiencing, especially in regards to something I can't understand from a firsthand perspective, I have not only been able to empathize to a far greater degree than I would have if I closed myself off to such explanations, but I also feel like I am more capable of being an understanding, compassionate person by being consistently open to these intricacies I would have otherwise not even known about.

It's not just about accepting, it's about equality.

Being a hopeless romantic, I've always had a special spot in my heart for equality on the topic of love. Having experienced how wonderful it is to fall in love and be able to carry on a relationship without any hindrances, I can't imagine what it would be like to be unable to or to be afraid to be with someone who I have fallen for.

It's horrible, it's unjust, and it goes against every person's right to freedom.

Opening my eyes to the struggles of the LGBTQ+ community has also made me more aware of many of humanity's inherent dilemmas.

"It’s cool that you’re gay, I just don’t want my kid to be gay." The other day, someone told this to my friend. To me, this seems contradictory. People can claim to accept others on the surface, be it to avoid judgment or because they don't really understand the deeper issues of what they are saying, but it's not true acceptance in many cases – it's a 'surface acceptance,' of sorts. By opening your eyes to such surface acceptances such as these, we can think before we speak.

I have seen how something like this casual (though cringe-worthy) statement can make someone feel and it has made me think about the words I choose to use on a daily basis. Likewise, it has also made me increasingly aware of the words that other people use in careless conversation. It's not about a specific example of a word or phrase people often use, but simply opening your eyes and ears to how what you say can affect the people around you. This is not just about comments about the LGBTQ+ community, but also in regards to generally 'Othering' people you believe to be different than yourself.

Though perhaps unintentionally so, saying things like this can cause people avoidable emotional harm.

It's honestly not something that should ever be a societal issue.

Just as I've realized I should watch what I say, I likewise have found that it is crucial to avoid any stereotypes. Would you ask a new straight acquaintance if while having sex, they prefer to be on top or bottom? That they must love shopping, and consequently have to help you pick out a cute new outfit? Or that you also know a straight single person who you "can totally set them up with"? Come on, you know the answer is 'no,' so why say it to anyone who isn't straight? That's simply not fair and although it may not be the intention, it functions as a way to ostracize members of the LGBTQ+ community.

By feeding the stereotypes, I've seen firsthand the repercussions of how saying things like this affect my friend. Because I've seen him laugh it off in front of the people who have said or suggested any of these things, and then mull over it afterward, I know that just because someone shrugs these words off, does not mean that it hasn't hurt them in some way.

When you have a friend that you care about, you want to do everything you can to make them happy. It's what you know they would do for you, too. I've found that something as simple as telling people (non-confrontationally and politely as possible, of course) that what they're saying is basically ridiculous, I not only feel like I'm doing my part to help them understand that their words are having potentially negative repercussions, but also doing what I can to be the best friend that I can be.

Most importantly, my best friend has made me a better person not because of a label he was branded with, but simply because of who he is.

The labels society enforces on each and every one of us have nothing to do with who we are as people; that is, you can either be a kind and compassionate human being or a complete asshole, regardless of sexual orientation, gender, race, or any other human-designated marker that attempts to define an individual. We are not our labels; we go so much beyond that.

That being said, I find it amazing that despite the too frequent snubbing of society, the ridiculous typecasts, and the overall misunderstanding of who he is as a person, my friend is still able to be one of the most wonderful individuals I have had the pleasure of knowing. He doesn't retaliate because of what people say with equally ignorant things. He doesn't judge based on their supposed differences. Because of his slightly different perspective on the world, he's unconsciously helped me become more conscious of how my words, actions, and even my very thoughts affect everyone around me.

Just as with any of my other friends, it is because of his personality, caring heart, and loving support of his friends that we get along so well. I love my friends because they make me a better person and I feel that in turn, I can influence them in some positive way, as well. It's not about the shopping trips. Not the boy talks. None of that – that's all so trivial.

What's most important to me is to surround myself with people who are kind, who are compassionate, and who have a love for life that instills the same kind of feelings within myself. These are the kinds of people we should all be striving to encircle ourselves with. These are the kinds of people who we can hope will make us all around better people. TC mark