Thought Catalog

23 Douchey Things He’ll Do During Sex If He’s Only Using You For Your Body

Posted: 01 Aug 2016 08:45 PM PDT

Twenty20, infiboo
Twenty20, infiboo

1. Once you start having sex, he won’t look you in the eyes. At all. But he’ll have no problem staring at your tits and your ass the entire time.

2. He never puts you into intimate positions. He’ll stick to safe positions, like Doggy style, that make it impossible for him to see your face.

3. He never even tries to make you orgasm. His pleasure is the only thing he gives a crap about.

4. There’s never any foreplay. He doesn’t care if you’re wet enough, as long as he’s hard enough. That’s why, sometimes, sex is actually painful for you.

5. You go down on him all the time, but you can’t even remember the last time that he went down on you.

6. He always makes you feel like you aren’t doing enough. It doesn’t matter if you’re prancing around in sexy lingerie or giving him the best birthday sex of his goddamn life, because you always end up feeling like you disappointed him.

7. He makes you feel like shit about your body. Instead of complimenting your tummy and ass, he makes offhand comments that make you question your beauty.

8. He compares you to other women. When you turn down anal, he’ll tell you that his ex always agreed to it. When you wear flannel to bed, he’ll tell you that his female friends always go to bed in lingerie.

9. He expects you to be in the mood whenever you see him, even if you’re sick or tired or overworked. It’s almost like the only reason he stops by is to have his dick sucked.

10. If he comes over when you’re on your period, he’ll take it as an insult. He won’t believe you had the nerve to invite him over when you knew sex was off the table.

11. He complains about how hairy your bikini area is and how you really need to get a wax. Meanwhile, you’re pretty sure he didn’t even shower before he climbed into bed with you.

12. The orders he gives you are more critical than constructive. Whenever he asks you to change positions or move faster, it makes you feel like complete shit.

13. He pushes you to do things you’re clearly uncomfortable with. Even after you tell him a certain activity is off limits, he tries to do it to you anyway.

14. He never says a word. He won’t tell you that he loves you or that you’re beautiful. He’s eerily silent, like his mind is in another world.

15. He actually has the nerve to reach for his phone. He doesn’t just check it. He’ll actually text back or answer a call as you’re doing your thing.

16. He only likes to have sex in complete darkness. It could mean that he has body issues, but it could also mean he sees you as a body and only a body.

17. He won’t wear a rubber, even if you’ve bought a new box for him and asked him politely. According to him, “Sex feels better without a condom.” He has no concern for your body. He only cares about his.

18. If the TV is on, you actually catch him staring at it. He’d rather look at the weather girl in her skintight dress than at you.

19. He never asks you what position you want to be in or what room you want to do it in. He’s always the one to choose.

20. And when sex is over, he never asks how it was for you. He couldn’t care less if you had an orgasm or if you were in excruciating pain.

21. He says the wrong name. It doesn’t matter if it’s a celebrity’s name or his ex’s name. Either way, it’s obvious you’re not the girl he really wants to be with.

22. He refuses to cuddle with you after everything is said and done. After he comes, it’s like a switch is flicked and touching you is suddenly a disgusting thought.

23. He leaves as soon as he slips his clothes back on. He doesn’t stick around for small talk, let alone breakfast. TC mark

I Won’t Regret You No Matter How Much You Hurt Me

Posted: 01 Aug 2016 08:15 PM PDT


You hurt me. Badly. But that was years ago, and I’ve forgiven you for all of it. And you’ve forgiven me for hurting you too.

You hurt me. And sometimes I glance down in surprise to see that all the scars still haven’t faded. I still unfold your letters that are now stored in a box instead of on my bedside table. I pass by the memories that are carved in my neighborhood.

I still see your shadow that follows me in the daylight. I think you’ll always be with me.

You hurt me. So horrifically, that sometimes I felt as if my whole body would break. And I almost wanted it to break. So I didn’t have to live without you. But even so, I will never regret you. And I will never regret us.

You were something that I never saw coming. And nothing could ever prepare me for what you gave through those years. You gave me strength. You gave me courage. You gave me beauty. You gave me laughter.

And you gave me my rays, so you could sit back and watch me shine. And boy, did I shine in your eyes.

Those rays disappeared for a little bit. After it was all over, I didn’t want to shine. I didn’t want to show my face. I didn’t want to do anything except to hear you say, “come back”. I didn’t want the world to have to witness my broken bones that shook every time I opened my mouth. I didn’t want the world to have to see my broken spirit. I didn’t want to show my shattered soul.

But, you taught me how to shine once. And that forever stayed with me, even though you didn’t. I got hurt by you, but you didn’t keep me down. Because, I knew that you would want me to shine by myself. You would want me to be happy on my own. To live my life according to me and not for anyone else.

I hope you know I’ll never regret you. I’ll never look back on my life and close my eyes to our memories. I will never wish you didn’t exist. You were my first love, and quite possibly the love of my life.

You were everything to me once. And so, you will be something to me always.

You will always be the boy who opened up my heart. You will always be the boy who I fell in love with. You’re not the guy who broke my heart anymore. You’re not the guy who broke me down. You are more important than to ever just have that title to your name.

You hurt me, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still hold a place for you in my heart. You hurt me, but that doesn’t change what we were. We were everything that was right in the world. And I will never dare to regret that. And so, I promise you, I’ll never regret you.

I could never regret the person who helped me realize I could shine on my own. I could never regret the person who helped me realize I could love myself, on my own.TC mark

Thank You For Breaking My Heart

Posted: 01 Aug 2016 08:00 PM PDT

Luci Correia
Luci Correia

Thank you. Thank you for teaching me the difference between right and wrong. Thank you for showing me what it feels like to be tossed aside. Thank you for teaching me cruelty. For teaching me heartbreak. Thank you for yelling at me. Thank you for your mean words. Thank you for forcing me to become strong. Thank you for showing me what I don't deserve. Thank you for all those nights you made me cry. For all the mistakes I made as I tried to love you. For the lessons I learned from them. Thank you for showing me that forgiveness isn't always the solution. Thank you for making fun of how much I cared. Thank you for not respecting me. For never appreciating anything I did. Thanks to you I now know when I should walk out of a relationship.

Thanks to you I know what it's like to feel betrayed.

Thank you for showing me what I don't want. Thank you for being selfish. Thank you for making me understand what I deserve. Thank you for not caring. For leaving me behind. For letting me have a fresh start. Thank you for not being a part of it. Thank you for all the terrible things you've said. For all the times I felt degraded and used. Thank you for making me feel what it's like to hit rock bottom. Thank you for making me re-build. Thank you for all the destruction and the hurt. Thank you for making me the woman that I am today. Thanks to you I'm stronger. Thanks to you I'm wiser. And thanks to you, I'll never fall for you again. TC mark

I’m In Love With My Best Friend And It Is Slowly Killing Me

Posted: 01 Aug 2016 07:00 PM PDT


I'm in love with my best friend.

Putting those words down on paper feels like stripping a thousand pound weight from my chest and taking a massive hit of long-awaited fresh air.

I know this is the world's oldest story.

Girl meets boy. Girl falls for boy (or vice versa). Girl cripples under the unrelenting weight of her affection, which she's too terrified to express.

Girl loses boy.

Life moves on.

I know that this story is nothing new, but until now it hasn't been my story. For the majority of my life I've been drawn to close friendships with those of my own gender. For the majority of my life, I haven't formed any accidental close platonic bonds with people I am also hopelessly attracted.

And yet, here I am for the first time. And I am horrendously ill-equipped to handle it.

And so, here is the question I have for everyone out there with a best friend of the gender that they are attracted to:

How the hell do you NOT fall in love with your best friend?

How do you stay up until 3am talking about life and your childhoods and your deepest wounds, and not want to kiss them at the end of it all? How do you curl up in a bed next to them to sleep and not want to wrap your arms around their warm, inviting body? How do you go to them with each new idea, each new adventure, each new thought that passes through your tireless mind and not let that closeness infiltrate the entirety your heart?

How the hell do you care for someone as much as you care for your best friend and not want to spend your whole life trying to make them happy?

How do you ever look at pain on their face and not want to instantly take it away? How do you see them cope with sadness, with rejection, with loneliness and not want to be the one to reassure them that they'll never have to be lonely again? How do you not accidentally let it slip during a pep talk or reassuring conversation that not only is someone going to love them completely someday, but that somebody already does?

Somebody thinks of them when they wake up every morning. Somebody wishes they were lying beside them each night. Somebody wants to make them happy more than they want absolutely anything else, including, in some cases, their own happiness.

And the follow-up question I have is this:

How do you be in love with your best friend and not go absolutely mad as a result?

How do you watch them flirt with other girls and not die a little more inside each time? How do you counsel them through bad dates and not scream 'Choose me, choose me!' as the answer to all of their struggles? How do you learn all the darkest and twisted and most shameful parts of another person's heart and not ache to pour all of your love into them? How do you fucking survive it?

Because I'm absolutely dying over here.

Because I'm so afraid of losing the friendship that I have with the most amazing person I've ever met that I am paralyzed on taking a chance.

Because I can't bear the thought of losing the long, existential conversations, the intensive emotional support, the never-ending stream of adventures and opportunities and trials that we take on by one another's side.

Because I'm scared that if I tell him how I feel, I'm going to lose him – bit by tiny, inconspicuous bit.

I'm scared he's going to stop coming to me with problems and challenges because he knows he's lamenting to someone who wants to be the answer to them all. I'm scared he's going to shy away from inviting me places where he knows there will be moments of intimacy – times when our closeness will mean something different to me than it ever will to him. I'm scared that something between us will shift in a way it will never shift back from – a wall rising up between us that I may never be able to break down.

I'm scared to tell him because the only thing worse than being silently in love with your best friend is the thought of losing him completely.

And that I absolutely can't do.

And so for now, I bear the agony. I suffer in silence. I move through the torture.

And I hope that someday, in some capacity, I can become brave enough to let him know the truth. TC mark

10 Reasons Why You Should Pick Up The Phone And Call Her Already

Posted: 01 Aug 2016 06:00 PM PDT

Josh Felise
Josh Felise

When you want to impress a girl – communication is key. It's always been the key, and it remains the key. Nowadays, there are multiple ways to reach out to someone you're interested in. And, whereas, it's quite okay to send her a message, more often than not, it will give you an edge if you call her. So, without further ado, here are the 10 reasons:

1. It's more personal. It shows a different level of interest. Like, you really want to get to know her.

2. It differentiates you from the other guys. Everybody is taking the easy way out, and sending text messages. If you simply picked up the phone and called her, it would give you an advantage. And here's the thing, if she has other suitors, and chances are she does, while they're busy texting her, she'll be on the phone with you and, clearly, unable to respond to them LOL.

3. Women like men who will listen to them. And you can showcase this talent during a real time conversation. It's virtually impossible to "listen" to someone via messages.

4. It's actually manlier. Simply because you're not going to hide behind a QWERTY keypad. You're going to man-up and call her.

5. To communicate better. You'll avoid all the mix-ups. The miscommunications associated with texting can lead to some bad assumptions.

6. It protects you from spelling errors. And some of us can't spell to save our lives – some of us with all kind of fancy degrees. Sometimes we don't even know the difference between 'their' and 'there'… and these bloopers can be a real turn-off.

7. It actually feels like a real conversation. And women love that type of thing.

8. It's the perfect opportunity to show that you're intelligent (if you are). And most women are attracted to intelligent men. So, you can use the opportunity to fluently talk about politics, economics or whatever.

9. You can better gauge if she's into you. When she's really into you – you can tell by the way she makes an effort to keep the conversation going, you can tell by the way she laughs at your corny jokes, you can tell by the way she responds favourably to your comments.

10. You'll know if she's head over heels for you. When she turns off the light, jumps into bed, pulls up the cover and talks to you into the wee hours of the morning. TC mark

6 Reasons Why You Should Wait For Mr. Right And Ditch Mr. Right Now

Posted: 01 Aug 2016 05:00 PM PDT

Gonzalo Díaz Fornaro
Gonzalo Díaz Fornaro

We've all had one.

He's the boy we date to stick it to our parents during our rebellious phase, he's the bad-boy in high school that we date in hopes of "changing" him, and he's the guy in college with whom we're simply "keeping it casual".

"Oh, it's not like I plan on marrying him," we say in our own defense when our friends point out how we're so not compatible, how we could do so much better.

"He's just Mr. Right Now."

You all nod in agreement.

Like your trendy Forever 21 stilettos that "are so in this season", he has a shelf life – and you know it. You know that when the seasons change, he will suddenly not fit you so well, and you'll be wondering why you had him in the first place. "Well,” you'll remind yourself, “at least I didn't invest too much". And he will be thrown in the back of your closet to meet the skeletons of all the past Mr. Right Nows. You'll shudder once the evidence of them resurfaces, be it in Facebook photos or just once you declutter your emotional closet.

Here are 6 reasons why you should drop Mr. Right Now like he's hot (yes, even if he's hot):

1. Lonely? He'll only make it worse.

When we're lonely, our minds trick us into believing some really insane things.

"We all eat lies when our hearts are hungry" – Unknown

We convince ourselves that it would be better to have someone than to have no one. This false desperation encourages us to have flings just for a short-term fix. But a mere physical connection is like saltwater for loneliness – it comes awfully close to water, but it will only leave you thirstier.

2. Bored? It’s not a fun game to play.

He may not be playing a game, or he may be playing a bigger game. There's nothing quite as painful as the sting of heartbreak, and likewise, there's nothing worse than accidentally breaking someone's heart. For you, it may have been fun and games; for him, it may have been the real deal. The guy you're casually seeing might be drawing pictures of your wedding and future children… or, maybe you've already changed your last name to his, while he's just changed his number.

3. Too many things in life suck, and love should never be one of them.

Too much casual dating will taint your rose-tinted glasses to a bitter black, and you will begin to settle, thinking a 10PM "booty-call" is all there is. So here's a friendly reminder: Love is not mundane. Love is magical. It always has been, and it always will be. "Netflix and chill" is not a thing. It should never, ever have been a thing. Woe betide the poor soul who uses the words "Netflix” and "chill" in succession.

4. You are wasting your time, and that is the ultimate crime you can commit against yourself, especially as a young person.

Your most valuable asset is not your ability to be a seductress – it's time, and it is a finite resource. Yes, you can easily prove your feminine powers by luring in prey after prey with your innocent doe eyes. But frankly, what you desire (even if you are too brainwashed by the casual dating crisis to see it), is a true connection – a feeling of being home, not feeling like your self-worth depends on how many heads you turn. And dallying around with Mr. Right Now will only sidetrack you from your quest to attain that which you truly want.

5. Spend that precious time creating yourself rather than filling a void.

Ah, nothing like the sweet taste of distraction to numb a confused 20-something mind. Just like drugs, alcohol, the Internet, [insert personal vice here], casual dating is a distraction in disguise. If you are unsure about your future, if you are confused about life or are just generally perplexed about how the universe works, dating someone simply for fun will not help you – it will only hinder you. You need to have a solid foundation upon which to build any relationship, and toying with others whilst standing on a wobbly stool will only lead to your demise.

6. Lowering your standards will only lower people's behavior around you.

This especially applies to intimate relationships, and is perhaps the most important point. You teach people how to treat you, as the old adage goes. It has surprisingly little to do with their character, and it has everything to do with yours. If your actions are flaunting an "I don't value myself enough to wait for something real" mentality, that is precisely what you will get, if not worse.

P.S. Don't know if he's Mr. Right? Then he's not Mr. Right. Sure, give it 3 dates (or "hangouts" as we call it these days) but after that – cut it off and cut him out. Open-heart surgery is always risky, but it's better to remove a tumor before it spreads. TC mark

44 Large Breasted Women Who Refuse To Be Slut Shamed

Posted: 01 Aug 2016 04:41 PM PDT


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TC mark

Healing Won’t Leave You Perfectly Whole, But It Will Leave You With A Stronger Heart

Posted: 01 Aug 2016 04:00 PM PDT


Healing is not meant to be an eraser. It it not meant to take all of the pain away. It is not going to be a permanent sharpie to mark over your wounds. It is not going to cover up everything. Because in order to heal, you need to remember the good parts.

Healing doesn’t happen in an instant. It can be slow, painful and complicated. It’s not just feeling sad; it’s feeling angry, hurt, impatient and lonely all at once. It is not as simple as taking a pill one day to fix you up. It is not as simple as having a cup of cough medicine that you can take over- night, to wake up feeling brand new.

Healing is hard work. That’s how it’s always going to be.

And when once you are done healing, you still won’t be whole. You’ll never be the same again. The truth is, if you experience profound loss whether it be a significant other or family member, your heart will remain changed. And it’s never going to be as pure as it once was. It’s never going to beat in the same way.

Once you are fully healed, even though you will never quite be the same, you will realize just how strong you have grown to be. You will realize how strong the sound of your heartbeat is. How strong the grip of your fist has become. How strong your intuition has become. And how strong your sense of peace has gotten.

Instead of crying yourself to sleep missing the way he held you, you go to bed content in just being alone. Instead of waking up with dark circles and a red splotchy face, you now wake up in a hurry to experience the new day.  You actually want to greet the world now. You want to breathe in the smell of fresh pine needles in the winter time.

You want to breathe in the newly mowed grass in the summertime and you want to breathe in the leaves as they fall to the glossy pavement in the fall.

Yet, you still sometimes dream of him. You still miss the indent his body made on your mattress. You still sometimes hear a song he used to love and feel yourself grow misty eyes. A lump grows in your throat whenever you pass by the spot where you guys first held hands. You still miss the way you used to be when you were with him. Always on a high, always smiling. And that’s just a part of life. That’s a part of love. 

You can smile now, by yourself. You can laugh just as loudly. And you run just as quickly. You aren’t the person you used to be at all. You’re stronger. You’re wiser. You’re better. Because you didn’t let the hole in your heart grow bigger. You didn’t try to cover it up with bandaids. You just let it be. You let it stay there. So it can always remind you of the magic you gave someone else. And it can always remind you of the way your heart will love again.

Healing won’t leave you whole. It won’t leave you brand new.

It will just make the world shine a little brighter when you’re happy, a little dustier when you’re sad, and a little more emotional around the edges. But most importantly, it will make your bones tougher, your cells stronger, and your heart even more beautiful. TC mark

I Wanted Us To Fall In Love

Posted: 01 Aug 2016 03:00 PM PDT

I wanted to go to the beach with you
But we never went
I wanted you to meet my parents
But you never did
I wanted to meet your parents
But I never did
I wanted to go to a foreign country with you
But I never did
I wanted to have arguments with you
But we never did
I wanted to go to festivals and concerts with you
But we never did
I wanted to get to know your deep side
But I never did
I wanted us to have sex for the first time
But we never did
I wanted us to have adventures together
But we never did
I wanted us to fall in love
But you didn't want to. TC mark

There Are No Words For This Kind Of Heartbreak

Posted: 01 Aug 2016 02:01 PM PDT

Guilherme Yagui
Guilherme Yagui

I always imagined my first heartbreak was going to be earth shattering and I'd fall victim to the eating-ice-cream-out-of-the-carton-while-watching-sad-movies-and-crying-my-eyes-out stereotype. Or that I'd listen to anger filled post break up music: cue Taylor Swift's "Better Than Revenge," or Kelly Clarkson's "Since U Been Gone." But then I fell in love. And had my heart broken in a completely different way. A constant state of confusion followed.

How do you break up with your best friend and your boyfriend? The one who knows every little thing about you; your flaws, your fucked up family situations, your passions and your dreams? What do you do when your rock suddenly isn't the only constant thing in your life?

Heartbreak isn't a stereotype.

There was no gorging myself in ice cream and crying along with The Notebook. I couldn't listen to half the music I used to because it all reminded me of him. Taylor Swift was my all-time favorite, but for some reason her music no longer resonated with me for a brief period. I was confused. According to her music, breakups were supposed to be so clear cut—you hurt me, I hurt you, I'm sad, I'm angry, now I'm okay without you. But for me it wasn't like that and it makes so little sense.

It was a mutual decision. One where we were both scared of distance and perhaps of possessing something too good while we were too young. I guess you could say distance and timing were the biggest factors in this decision. We still loved each other when we said goodbye. We broke up still happy and with the intention to fall out of love post break up. Little spoiler – it's extremely difficult. I'm a big believer in "if you can remain friends with your ex you're either still in love or never were" and you can guess which side I'm on (if it's not clear- I still love him).

Having your ex-boyfriend remain one of your best friends is quite possibly the most tortuous form of heartbreak.

You try to have a quick catch-up call, and it turns into five hours on Skype. It's the kind of heartbreak where you can talk to tons of friends all day and still feel lonely because it's not him.

Knowing you can't be together in this moment because you both still need to grow is what makes it hard to close your eyes at night. Listening to him talk about all these new experiences he's enjoying without you make you feel both excited for him and sad for yourself.

This is the kind of heartbreak that doesn't pass after some time. It lies dormant and leaks through the seams only when you realize although you talk just like before, it's different.

This heartbreak is the kind where you hear a love song and still imagine the song was written for you and him. It burns you alive when you end a conversation and want to say "I love you" but know you can't.

It's cherishing all the memories made but trying to convince yourself those were the last ones and that your time to make memories together is done. It's missing his family that you got to know so well over the past 3 years. It's knowing every little thing about someone and having to pretend those details don't float around your mind all day.

It's the forced smile and exhale of "I'm okay" when you're family members ask "How is he? Where is he?" and you tell them you broke up as they look at you in astonishment. It's having your little sisters tell you they miss their brother and you want to tell them how much you miss him too but you have to act strong.

This heartache is not the kind you see in the movies or hear about in the bitter or weepy songs. It's so much more haunting because it's not the kind where you're angry or hysterically sad. It's a numbness that you feel all too much.

You don't even realize you're feeling it until you're forcing yourself not to cry on the bus on the way downtown. Nothing was done wrong by either of you to push this breakup so you're in constant wonder about what the point of this all is.

But somehow you know you need this although you have no words to describe why. You both know it's not meant to be right now. But why? There is no right answer that justifies this dullness. Can you miss something and not want it back? I know I want him back, and will give him all the time he needs to realize he wants me too.

And if that doesn't happen, well, time heals all wounds. TC mark