Thought Catalog


19 Women Reveal The Dirtiest Thing Their Partner Has Said In Bed That Got Them Off Immediately

Posted: 23 Aug 2016 10:00 PM PDT

tailoredphoto
tailoredphoto

1. “I’m going to make you cum so hard you blackout.” — Lola, 25


2. (While he was going down on me and I was getting into it.) “Don’t move. I’m just getting started.” — Tabitha, 27


3. “You taste so fucking good.” — Elise, 24


4. “I’m going to lose it you’re so incredibly hot.” — Catherine, 23


5. “I love how loud you are. Be louder.” — Jill, 25


6. “You’re such a good girl. What can I say, I have a daddy kink. Not sorry.” — Meg, 24


7. “I can’t wait to watch you cum.” — Veronica, 28


8. “Let’s wake up the neighbors with how loud we can be.” — Olivia, 23


9. “Please cum for me. Just like that…” — Erica, 26


10. “‘Not yet. Not yet.’ He makes me wait to finish until he can look at me while I orgasm. It always makes it so much more intense.” — Tina, 27


11. “You’re going to sit on my face until I’m done with you.” — Rachel, 22


12. “Show me how you get yourself off. Then after, it’s my turn.” — Evie, 24


13. “Crawl over here. Naked. Right now.” — Natalie, 29


14. “I’m going to fill you up and then make you suck me dry and then maybe, just maybe, I’ll let you have a turn. We’re into power play – it was so hot.” — Bella, 27


15. “Which way do you want me to fuck you tonight?” — Adrienne, 28


16. “I’m going to fuck you so hard that you’ll cum until you can’t remember your own name.” — Nadia, 26


17. “You’re such a dirty little slut. You’re my dirty little slut.” — Shea, 23


18. “I don’t think I can control myself once I’m inside you.” — Mollie, 25


19. “What can I do to make you cum? Because that’s all I want to do.” — Kaitlyn, 26 TC mark

14 People Reveal The Difference Between Having Sex With Someone Hot And Someone Ugly

Posted: 23 Aug 2016 08:45 PM PDT

iStockPhoto.com / CoffeeAndMilk
iStockPhoto.com / CoffeeAndMilk

1.

It was pretty different. I hate to say it but the girl I had the best sex with I was secretly in love with. But I showed her to a friend and he laughed at her. She’s not ugly really. But I guess it was enough for me to try and hide it. I grew up and damn do I wish I told her how I felt.

2.

The hotter ones were more expensive.

3.

My dick has no eyes. Felt the same.

4.

The most stereotypically attractive guy was very selfish, didn’t want to go down but expected lots of oral loving himself, and like, immediately started wanting anal sex from me from the moment we became intimate. Not that I’m against butt stuff but he was demanding and asshole-ish about it despite me saying I was willing to experiment but wanted to go slow as I was still relatively sexually inexperienced. After the unsatisfying sexual experiences and his bad attitude I stopped finding him attractive and dumped him.

Least attractive guy was really self-conscious and because he couldn’t relax, it made it awkward for me and I started worrying that maybe he didn’t find ME attractive or I’d done something bitchy to make him feel uncomfortable. I mean I was obviously still attracted to him but it made it vaguely unpleasant. He also would like… flinch, when I touched him or tried to cuddle which didn’t make me feel good. We’re still friends now and he expressed regret over fucking it up. I had moved on by the time we re-kindled our friendship but I am glad that was just young adult awkwardness and not because I’d inadvertently been terrible.

Besides those 2 bad experiences, I’d say pretty much all of my other ones have been pretty good. The big thing is having a partner who’s enthusiastic and willing to reciprocate, cares that you orgasm, and beyond all that for me anyway… doesn’t take sex super super seriously. It’s ok to have some more serious and passionate sessions but stuff can happen during sex. One of you might fart or your skin may make that weird noise when it rubs together or he might slam into you so hard your head hits the headboard, and being able to just laugh at that stuff and keep the other person comfortable and then get back to it is a good skill.

5.

Not really seen much of a difference in attractiveness, but age is a huge factor. The older they are the better the lay.

6.

My experience has found there to be zero correlation between attractiveness and sex skill. There is a strong correlation between attitude/personality and sex skill though.

7.

20ish partners. Attractiveness didn’t have anything to do with sex drive, experience, shyness, loudness, or kinkiness. All over the map. More often the fit girls seemed more confident in themselves (walking around in undies, sleeping nude/topless) but beyond that, it was a crapshoot.

8.

My ex who had juuuuust the right amount of curves was always enthusiatic, loud, and overall very good in bed, when we weren’t too busy arguing.

My current sexual partner is the least attractive person I’ve ever had sex with but knows exactly what I like and is always eager to please… because it’s me.

9.

Unattractive girls try so hard. Pretty girls don’t give a fuck. I like a middle ground person or an unattractive girls effort and charm in an attractive package but I’m a whore.

10.

Really hot women don’t even try. They are so used to everyone doing everything for them, all they have to do is ask. That’s what I have heard. However, from personal experience, I think that my right hand is a lot more experienced than my left.

11.

I feel incredibly lucky: the most attractive person I have ever been with was also the most enthusiastic, skilled, involved, and enjoyable lover I’ve had. The least attractive lover was pretty lazy, expecting me to do all of the work. She reeked of desperation and low standards.

12.

The by far least attractive partner I had was actually one of the best I had, because her self-consciousness about her looks gave her a "will to please", she was dead serious about making it count. You haven't got a true sloppy BJ until you've had one from someone who thinks it might as well be the last one she's giving in this life.

13.

Completely opposites. The less attractive girls are waay better in bed in my experience where as the attractive girls are not.

14.

“Good at sex” tends to correlate more with experience than attractiveness. I.e., unattractive slutty girls are better in bed than attractive prude/conservative girls. But attractive girls also tend to be more experienced. So in general, more attractive girls are better at sex. TC mark

Send Him These 30 Dirty Talk Texts To Make Him Cum Hard Tonight

Posted: 23 Aug 2016 08:00 PM PDT

Twenty20, grisha4pz
Twenty20, grisha4pz

1. I want to suck your cock until I make you cum all over my chest.

2. I want you to slap my ass and pull my hair while giving it to me Doggy style.

3. I want to watch you lather your cock with lube and then shove it into my ass.

4. I want you to suck on my tits and run your tongue across my rock hard nipples while I ride you.

5. I want you to lick my pussy while your dick is halfway down my throat.

6. I want to get on my knees and rub your cock in between my tits before taking you into my mouth.

7. I want you to bend me over the bathroom sink and fuck me in front of the mirror.

8. I want to feel your lips pressed up against my neck while your fingers press into my pussy.

9. I want you to rip my underwear off with your teeth.

10. I want to go down on you in the shower, so you can watch the water trailing over my wet tits.

11. I want you to pin my arms over my head while you thrust, so you have total and complete control of my body.

12. I want to leave scratch marks down your back and hickeys on your thighs.

13. I want you to blindfold me and stick a ball gag in my mouth.

14. I want you to use one hand to play with my nipples and the other to play with my ass.

15. I want my lips to taste like your cum.

16. I want you to come over, so you can watch me with my vibrator and hear my scream out your name as I cum.

17. I want you to fuck me in my new crotchless panties.

18. I want to feel your breath tickle my ear and your hand squeeze my ass.

19. I want to shove you onto the bed, crawl in between your legs, and suck your cock until I feel your cum cover my tongue.

20. I want to take you on a midnight drive and then fuck you senseless on the hood of the car.

21. I want to handcuff you to my bed and then ride you reverse cowgirl, so you can look, but can’t touch.

22. I want you to suck on an ice cube and run your cold tongue across my clit until I cum.

23. I want you to fuck me on the kitchen counter as you lick whipped cream off of my tits.

24. I want to watch your hot body hover over me as you thrust with your thick cock.

25. I want you to tie my wrists behind my back and fuck me Doggy style in front of a video camera.

26. I want to feel your cock twitch as I rub it through your jeans and then I want to feel it harden as I straddle you and grind.

27. I want to suck you off in a bathroom stall, so strangers can hear how loudly I can make you cum.

28. I want you to grab onto my hips while I bounce up and down on top of you.

29. I want you to fuck me in every position you can think of.

30. I want you to run your hands over my pussy, so you can feel how wet I am. TC mark

25 One-Liner Sexts That Will Make Him Beg You For More

Posted: 23 Aug 2016 07:15 PM PDT

Jovanadventures
Jovanadventures

Dear Daddy Issues,
I just started dating someone. It's super exciting and I really like him! The thing is, he recently started sexting me and I'm feeling the pressure to reciprocate but I don't know what to say. I suck at this! Can you please help me out?? I'm afraid he's going to think I'm boring if I don't start sexting him back asap.

Dear Sugar Tits:

Sexting is definitely a skill that I do not possess. It amazes me that people can even do it with a straight face. I usually just focus on eating some mac and cheese and hand my phone to a bestie who sexts on my behalf since my idea of sexting is complaining about my period.

Still, I want to help you out. After much research on this subject (mostly through drunk texting boys), I've come up with 25 sexy one-liners that will guarantee you're all he can think about. Send a few of these gems his way, and you'll never be able to enter a church again because you'll feel so fucking dirty. (You're welcome)

1. I already miss choking on your massive cock.

2. I want you cumming on my tits right this second.

3. My fingers are so wet from playing with myself.

4. No one fucks me like you do.

5. I want you inside me so bad right now.

6. I'm naked in bed waiting for you. Cum over.

7. Lets go buy some new toys today and experiment.

8. This smoothie's good but your cum is better.

9. I'm so wet just thinking about your hard cock.

10. I could sext you but I'd rather show you what I want to do to you.

11. Your dick is literally perfect.

12. You've turned me into such a dirty little whore.

13. I can't stop thinking about you. Your cock drives me wild.

14. Your balls, my tongue, my place. Now.

15. Next time, tease me with the tip before you plunge it inside.

16. My mouth just asked if it can suck on your cock.

17. Have you ever had a wet dream about me? Be honest…I had one about you this morning.

18. My nipples are hard cuz I'm thinking about you.

19. I love making you cum.

20. I could never get tired of fucking you.

21. You're the only guy who could make me cum that fast.

22. I can feel my pussy getting wetter as I type.

23. Don't make me masturbate alone. Cum over and watch me.

24. I get so horny thinking of you choking me with your strong big arms while you're inside of me.

25. I can't stop thinking about how sexy you were the other night. When can I make you orgasm again?

After writing these sexts, I feel like I need to take a cold shower and wash my mouth out with soup, but I do hope they help! May the cock be with you, sugar tits! TC mark

This story originally appeared on DaddyIssuesLA.

The Unedited Truth About Why You Suck, Based On The State You’re From

Posted: 23 Aug 2016 07:00 PM PDT

Daniella Urdinlaiz
Daniella Urdinlaiz

Alabama

You’re a certified college football freak.

Alaska

Sarah Palin is at least partly your fault.

Arizona

Your crystal meth isn't actually blue.

Arkansas

You're either a hillbilly, or the founder of a failing Etsy shop.

California

You want to be famous and/or a surfer but you suck at both acting and surfing.

Colorado

You smoke a ton of marijuana but claim to live where you do because you're sooooo outdoorsy.

Connecticut

You own at least one CK Bradley belt, a pair of Nantucket reds, or a Lily Pulitzer skort. And yet, you insist that you're not preppy.

Delaware

For whatever reason you don't have to pay sales tax. WTF?

Florida

You're old, or some kind of Disney freak.

Georgia

You think of Atlanta as “the city.”

Hawaii

You're unemployed, or a runaway.

Idaho

Your state grows the carb that’s making everyone fat.

Illinois

You know what the Superbowl Shuffle is and will perform it, too happily, on command.

Indiana

You’d rather drive a tractor than any other vehicle.

Iowa

You've actually been to the National Balloon Museum.

Kansas

You get annoyed when people reference the Wizard of Oz.

Kentucky

You resent rather than embrace the reality that everyone associates you with fried chicken.

Louisiana

You're still whining about Hurricane Katrina.

Maine

You consider the cockroach of the sea a delicacy.

Maryland

Baltimore.

Massachusetts

You have zero respect for the letter "r."

Michigan

You're obsessed with a sport only Canadians should play.

Minnesota

You're so nice it’s annoying AF.

Mississippi

You're actually proud of your "southern values."

Missouri

You wear camouflage. To church.

Montana

You're not actually a cowboy.

Nebraska

You’re pretty much responsible for the kernels of corn in everyone’s poop.

Nevada

You're just tacky.

New Hampshire

You have no personality.

New Jersey

You’re either doused in Axe, or you smell like the armpit of America.

New Mexico

You sincerely believe in aliens and have spotted at least one UFO in the last year or so.

New York

You characterize yourself as "so ambitious" but really you just do a lot of coke and/or pop adderall on the regular.

North Carolina

Your state's tobacco is directly responsible for several thousands deaths.

North Dakota

You tend to lie about where you’re from because absolutely nothing happens in your state.

Ohio

You develop an inflated sense of self-importance during every single presidential election.

Oklahoma

You know what fried twinkies are. And you enjoy eating them.

Oregon

You're either gluten free, paleo, or vegan. And you talk about it. A lot.

Pennsylvania

You claim you're "from the city" but secretly live 45 minutes outside of Pittsburgh or Philadelphia.

Rhode Island

You're either bankrupt, or corrupt as fuck.

South Carolina

You only ever shop at Walmart.

South Dakota

You don’t get that Mount Rushmore is interesting for precisely two seconds.

Tennessee

You refuse to listen to anything other than country music.

Texas

A large part of your identity is rooted in the fact that you live in the biggest state. Yeehaw, no one cares!

Utah

You don't drink, you show up on time, and you work hard. In short, you’re super boring (and Mormon).

Vermont

You both eat granola and are granola.

Virginia

You're just northern enough to be a little bit snobby, and just southern enough to be a little bit racist.

Washington

You believe in Big Foot.

West Virginia

You are living evidence that inbreeding is a bad idea.

Wisconsin

You went cow tipping as a teen, and you actually believe that cheddar is a respectable cheese.

Wyoming

National parks, blah blah blah. TC mark

26 Ways To Become A Better Person After A Breakup

Posted: 23 Aug 2016 06:30 PM PDT

Jai Lennard
Jai Lennard

Even if your breakup has happened because you were wronged, hurt or cheated on, as devastated as you probably feel, there is always, ALWAYS something that you can learn. There are always ways you can grow. There are ways you can become a better person most importantly for you – and eventually when the time comes, for your next relationship. Here are a few ideas.

1. Help someone else. In the depths of despair, an amazing way to shift the focus is to help someone else. Donate to charity, call a friend and ask how they're getting along with that thing they're struggling with, smile at someone, give them a compliment. Doesn't have to be big. It will make you feel better and gets you out of your own head even for a few minutes.

2. Read. Educate yourself on something completely new. Even if the book isn't your cup of tea, you will still learn something.

3. Exercise. Exercise is one of the best things you can do to lift your mood and improve your health. Try not to make it a one hit wonder and schedule in some form of exercise every day for the next week. Do it week by week.

4. Be mindful of how you speak to others. You're probably feeling sad, tired, distressed and maybe even a bit hopeless right now. But make an effort to be nice. Be kind, listen and be gracious. Think about the words you use, they mean a lot.

5. Commit to not gossiping or bitching.

6. Be selfish. This time is also about taking care of you, so do something for yourself that is way beyond what you would normally do. Buy yourself something fancy, go for a pamper day, take a day trip to Paris. Watch something terrible on Netflix all day. Whatever you can feasibly do that you would usually make excuses to not do, do it.

7. Become curious and interested. (This will also make people curious and interested in you.)

8. Learn a new skill. Set yourself a goal that in 6 months with this skill, you want to be able to ………………..

9) Drink a green juice every day. (Yawn.) Yes I know, totally boring and I'm cringing a bit writing it, but I'm not joking when I say it will change how you feel – and within a couple of days. Even if it's chucking in some spinach, celery, broccoli and apple. You only need to keep it basic to notice a big change.

10. Write down 10 ideas for absolutely anything every day. (Except ways to get revenge on your ex, that probably won't help!) I can't take credit for this one – James Altucher is the brains behind it but it's an amazing way to get your brain ticking again.

11. Learn to be grateful. Make a gratitude list every day and note down 5 things.

12. Set your standards. Breakups provide massive opportunity to think about what we will and won't accept in the future. Not just with partners but with other people too. Do you notice patterns whereby you seem to always come off worse? Set your standards and commit to living by them. If you constantly seem to attract the wrong sort of people, there is something you can do about that. It's not bad luck. If you don't know what your standards are yet then spend time working them out.

13. We all have flaws. Think about something you know you need to work on and how you can make a start.

14. But don't give yourself a hard time either. Whatever you are feeling right now is ok.

15. Don't live your life through your social media feed. Learn to enjoy what's real and out there right now. Social media is fantastic, I love it don't get me wrong, but when the shit has totally hit the fan, it can be a real hindrance and we forgot half of what we see is through a fancy filter.

16. Get out of your music rut. Listen to something new.

17. Let go, have fun, be spontaneous.

18. Care about people – but don't care so much about what others think if this is something that has held you back. People are too concerned with their own lives to be too worrying about your choices. They really are. (Aside from possibly your mum but you have to let her off 😉)

19. Place more importance on your sleep and more so, the quality of it.

20. Learn and get inspired by other people. Particularly ones who have overcome troubles or adversity if you're really struggling at the moment. I recommend TED talks on YouTube and I also listen to podcasts every day whilst I'm traveling or working. I love it – I learn something new every day. This really helped me during my breakup.

21. Sort out or define your image. Could it do with a shake-up or a wardrobe clear out? What kind of first impression do you want to make?

22. Read this.

23. Spend as much time around people who make you feel good.

24. Work out what you can do about any jealously you feel or insecurities you have. Where is that coming from and what does it reveal about what you really want for yourself?

25. Speak to yourself as you would speak to a friend. If you're having a hard time with feelings of rejection and thinking you're not good enough read this and this.

26. Find small ways to address how you are feeling physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. If the word 'spiritual' makes you wince, just substitute it for something that makes you feel more comfortable. Basically what I mean is those non-material things. I won't go too woo-woo on you but how can you feel more at peace and content with what you have right now and what can you do to amp that up.

I hope you find those useful. There are always ways you can become (an even!) better person after a breakup so take the opportunity that it offers you. TC mark

12 Signs You’re What’s Known As An ‘Extroverted Introvert’

Posted: 23 Aug 2016 05:15 PM PDT

@kirillvasilevcom
@kirillvasilevcom

1. Small talk makes you unbelievably uncomfortable.

You need something that is going to engage you otherwise the conversation feels like a waste of your time. It could be time you could be lost day dreaming in your own head instead of awkwardly laughing at a joke you didn't even find funny. You want meaning and you want depth to a conversation. You want to find out who a person really is, not hear the generic lines we use to everyone we pass by.

2. You either want to be surrounded by everyone or no one.

You find yourself buried away in your bed with a book and music turned up. You don't want to answer any texts, you don't want to leave the house and you want to cancel all your plans. Then you have days where you get bored if you're home alone for five minutes. You're either one extreme or the other, there is rarely an in between for you.

3. Your thoughts consume you.

You live inside your own head. You are constantly thinking of places you'd rather be or you're brewing up new ideas. You think about plans you made or how you'd rather be home when you're with your friends. You think about everything from being lonely to being in love with your life. Your mind always races a million different directions, but these days you find a certain comfort in it.

4. Having too much time to make a decision is your worst nightmare.

You love to go out, but when it comes down to it you also love a chill night at home. If you're given too much time to decide it becomes a constant battle in your own head between what you actually want to do. You're torn between possibly going out and craving being home or vice versa. You never want to miss a good night out, but the problem is you never know what nights will be good or not. You want to speed up at the same time you want to slow down.

5. Being in a group of people you don't know makes you rather uncomfortable.

You love company, but you love company from the people you know. Once you're in a big group of strangers it tends to make you awkward and gives you a bit of social anxiety. You don't know what exactly to do or say, but you're always worried about saying the wrong thing and embarrassing yourself.

6. You enjoy being alone, but you hate being lonely.

I don't think anyone truly enjoys the feeling of being lonely; frankly because it's a sucky feeling. But there is a clear difference between being alone and being lonely. You can decide to spend the day alone with yourself and enjoy it. You can't control being lonely, it hits you like a wave crashing against the shore in a storm that just doesn't stop.

7. You love listening to others.

You could sit down all day and listen to someone tell you interesting stories. You love feeling emotionally connected to others, you love feeling like you've stepped into a chapter of their life and you love being the ear they need. Listening to others share their stories and allowing themselves to become vulnerable in front of you makes you feel humbled and special to them.

8. Maintaining friendships isn't one of your strengths.

As outgoing as you are and as much as you love finding others to connect with you have a more difficult time maintaining your friendships. Sometimes it's the lack of energy you feel in reaching out to them, other times it's that you're constantly meeting new people and trying to maintain friendships with everyone is exhausting. You'll always be a friend to these people, but sometimes you lose relationships in the maintenance aspect.

9. You're selective on who you really let into your life.

You're a very deep and sensual person, you feel things deeply and you love hard. You open your arms to everyone who needs you, but you're also selective on who you actually let into your personal life. You don't like negativity and drama so you try to steer clear of the people who bring it. You only really want people who you have an emotional connection with in your close inner circle.

10. You blend very well with each personality type.

You have friends that are clearly extroverted and friends that are clearly introverted and you mesh well with both. You're also kind of the middle ground between both to keep everyone from killing each other (not literally).

11. You are super flexible.

You are the best of both worlds. You can have just as much fun going out for ice cream as you can going out to a bar. You are laid back about most things and almost prefer to have others make plans for you so you don't have to decide what you'd rather do.

12. You can empathize with people.

You are in tune with your emotions, probably because you spend so much time in your own head analyzing things, but you feel for other people. You have no problem putting yourself in their shoes, in fact you kind of like doing it. You try to be as level-headed as possible and see things from every angle before you make assumptions. TC mark

Why Being A Nurse Isn’t A Job, It’s A Way Of Life

Posted: 23 Aug 2016 05:00 PM PDT

jessvon16
jessvon16


I've wanted to be a nurse for as long as I can remember. Even when I was unsure about every other aspect about my life, I knew that I was destined to do something that would really help people. I truly believe that the best nurses are the ones who were born to become them. Some people are just wired with the natural instinct to take care of others, and I like to think that I am one of those people.

Becoming a nurse has changed my life in so many ways. The selfishness of my teenage years did not live long enough to accompany me into my early twenties, because there's no room for selfishness in nursing. Even on my worst days I will still encounter patients with problems far bigger than my own; a fact that is both humbling and heartbreaking. I now understand the importance of checking my problems at the door, because my patients deserve to be the center of attention. They deserve a quality of care that is not subject to my own distraction. My life and all of its ensuing chaos will still be there waiting for me when my shift is over.

I’ve learned that patience really is a virtue. We are a generation that loves to live fast. We lean on our horns the minute the light turns green because we’re always in such a rush to get somewhere. Working with the elderly and people with chronic illnesses has taught me how to slow down. My patients can’t always move as quickly or as efficiently as I can, and they apologize for it frequently. It’s amazing what a positive effect you can have on a person just by giving them your time and attention. I know better than to sigh, or check my watch, or hurry them along with questions like “are you almost done?” Nobody deserves to feel like they are wasting someone's time. I promise you can accomplish everything you need to do while still giving each of your patients your full attention. Time is a gift in both giving and receiving.

I’ve become someone who is equal parts soft hearted, hard edges, and thick skin.

I have a heart so big that it has become permanently attached to my sleeve. This is an important quality for a nurse, but it can also be a certain kind of weakness. When you work with sick people, you become more closely acquainted with death than anybody should ever be. My mom died when I was only fifteen, and in a way it has made me a better nurse because I can empathize with a patient's loved ones in a way that most twenty-two-year-olds cannot.

I have developed the dark sense of humor that only people who encounter so much tragedy can understand. I’m not jaded or cold, I’m just getting by.

For me it all comes down to an ultimatum: laugh or cry. So I choose to laugh.

I’m still learning the art of self control and restraint. Like most 90’s babies, I was raised under the principle that you never initiate the fight, but you do what you have to do to end it. Nursing, quite obviously, does not work like that. While working with patients with dementia I have been kicked, punched, slapped, and insulted more times than I care to count. I’ve had water thrown in my face and I’ve had patients try to bite me. I have had to dig deep inside of myself on countless occasions for a level of restraint that I didn’t even know I possessed. When every instinct in me has yelled to fight back, I have been strong enough to remain calm. I don’t think people truly understand what a challenge that is until they’ve experienced it for themselves.

Nursing is so much more than needles, bandages, and antibiotics. It’s skipping your lunch break to hold the hand of a dying patient because her family never bothered to show up. It’s getting to know your patients’ families so well that they start sending you Christmas cards.  It’s laughing your way through a baby’s first bath and encouraging new parents as they fumble to get it right. It’s knowing when to make a joke and start a conversation, and knowing when to be silent. It’s finding a balance between clinical practice and bedside manner. It’s advocating for your patients when they feel like their voice isn’t being heard.

Our paychecks may reflect a 40 hour work week, but rarely do our shifts begin and end when they’re supposed to. We don’t answer to a time clock, we answer to our patients. And sometimes that means an eight hour day becomes a twelve hour day, and a twelve hour day becomes a sixteen hour day. We work weekends and holidays. We work understaffed and underpaid. We work until our backs hurt and our feet ache. And we do it all with pride and a smile every damn day. Because we are nurses, and we love what we do. TC mark

I’m A Self-Care Queen And These Are My 8 Best Strategies For You To Steal

Posted: 23 Aug 2016 04:30 PM PDT

Unsplash
Unsplash

Recently, someone called me "The Self-Care Queen." It's one of my favorite compliments I've ever received.

Self-care is absolutely necessary if we want to have the bandwidth to fully show up for others. As a chronic migraineur, I have to be especially vigilant about my self-care because if I ignore it, I will end up in the pain cave, of no use to anyone (and, y'know, in pain).

I was inspired to create this list after reading this awesome one on the Yes and Yes blog. I hope my list A) gives you permission to make self-care a larger priority for you and B) gives you some inspiration for your own self-care.

Here are 8 self-care things I do that fill my tank, without spending lots of money or spiking my blood sugar.

1. Light tea candles before I hop in the shower. Sometimes I do this because I'm sensitive to light (#migraines), but sometimes I do it just because it feels indulgent and luxurious. Shower time? More like spa time.

2. Make dates for walks + talks. I'm an extrovert who spends several days a week working from home. That isolation sucks for my mood. So I schedule dates with friends for us to chat on the phone or Skype while I walk around Central Park. That connection + exercise is dynamite for nurturing my joy.

3. Tell your doctor what you need to be comfortable. Every two weeks, I get nerve block injections in my face, head, and shoulders. I have a strong preference for getting the face ones first because they hurt the most and I want to get them over with. Sometimes my doctor forgets my preference for this order, so I gently remind her what I like.

Now she's started asking other patients in what order they prefer their injections. Sometimes advocating for your own self-care paves the way for others.

4. Set your phone to Do Not Disturb from 8pm to 8am. You know that little moon symbol on your iPhone? That's a self-care feature built right in.

I enjoy taking responsibility for how much communication I receive at a time. I've got friends and clients in many time zones, and I love that they can text or call me whenever, without worrying about whether it will wake me up.

5. Know where the migraine-friendly coffee shops and restaurants are. If I have a work meeting or a friend date, it becomes much more likely that I'll be able to follow through if the café isn't loud or fluorescently lit. I have my favorite places starred in my Google Maps app for later reference.

This map notation has helped others too. I once had a work meeting with some researchers I hadn't previously met. It turned out that one of them was hearing impaired, and she was enthusiastically grateful that I'd chosen a place that was quiet enough for her assistive listening device to work. Again, sometimes your own self-care strategies enable others'.

6. Keep a "noticing" journal. When I'm feeling stressed, I take 5-10 minutes to just jot down everything I'm noticing about my emotional state. It's a kind of active mindfulness meditation, and I find it super helpful for managing my feelings as well as anchoring my gratitude.

7. Say "no" to a lot of things. For work-related requests, I'll sometimes say, "Thank you for the kind offer, but my plate's a little too full right now." Or sometimes, I'll ask someone to circle back in a few weeks. I love when people ask me to circle back because I can trust I'm contacting them in a way that makes their life easier.

For social invitations, I have to keep in mind that my migraines tend to be worse in the evening. I will rarely accept invitations for events that go past 7pm at night because it's more likely that I'll have to cancel. My friends know I'm a brunch-and-tea date kind of gal.

8. Maintain empathetic relationships. One of the best self-care strategies I know is reaching out to someone who will just empathically listen, without offering any unsolicited advice. I nurture relationships with folks who can do this for me.

For some of my relationships (particularly family), I've taught them how to be more empathetic. When I support them, I model what that kind of listening looks like, which makes it easier for them to add it to their communicative toolbox. I teach a workshop on this kind of communication, too. TC mark

22 Incredibly Simple Things You Can Do To Boost Your Productivity Immensely

Posted: 23 Aug 2016 04:00 PM PDT

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1. Put together a go-to Spotify playlist for when you need to get a lot of stuff done – or find one of the many they have ready-made from the ‘Focus’ category under ‘Genres & Moods.’

2. It’s particularly useful to curate playlists with purely instrumental music so that you have less distractions.

3. Set timers on your phone. See how much stuff you can get done in 10, 20, and 30 minute increments. The competitive side of you will kick in and attempt to race the clock.

4. Take vitamin B12 in the morning to increase your energy.

5. And take vitamin D too, especially during the winter, to help with your mood and your overall wellbeing.

6. Put headphones in, even if you don’t want to listen to music, so that you can be left alone if you’re trying to concentrate in a cafe or at your office.

7. Wearing headphones also helps to condition your brain to associate plugging in your headphones with doing work.

8. As hard as it is, get up with your first alarm every morning. It will prevent you from falling back into a sleep cycle that you won’t be able to finish in the nine minutes before your next alarm goes off. It’s an easy way to feel more awake in the morning and to increase your productivity throughout the day.

9. Create a specific to-do list for each new day. You can go off of an overall master list, but by having a unique to-do list for each day with particular tasks that need to be accomplished before you can go home, you’ll be much more likely to get it done (and to want to get it done).

10. And you can give yourself mini-rewards for each task that you cross off – even something as simple as “ten minutes on Instagram” or, a personal favorite of Thought Catalog writers: an ice cold La Croix drink. (This is not sponsored. We’re just obsessed.)

11. Unless it’s absolutely necessary that you’re available on email nonstop, sign out of your account for a couple of hours and give yourself time to actually get to that to-do list without being distracted by consistent new information.

12. Eat a good breakfast. The benefits cannot be emphasized enough.

13. Have a few healthy snacks lined up ahead of time to maintain your energy throughout the day.

14. Change venues. Sometimes just taking your laptop to another room, cafe, or section of your office is enough to refresh your mind.

15. Read a really fast-paced book with short chapters when you have to do a long task that you really don’t want to do – like cleaning your apartment or answering a bunch of emails. Every time you finish a chapter, get up and complete a set amount of work before you let yourself jump back into your book.

16. You can do the same thing with shorter, 22-minute shows on Netflix or any other streaming service.

17. Don't allow any screen time (phone or tv) for an hour before you go to sleep. It's supposed to help you have more restful sleep.

18. Have a walking phone call or, if possible, a walking meeting. If a coworker needs to chat or someone wants to schedule a phone call, see if you can do it while walking – it will get your blood pumping, increase your energy, and kill two birds with one stone.

19. If you’re trying to work more reading into your everyday schedule and are having a hard time, try audiobooks. You can listen to them while exercising, walking, grocery shopping, commuting to work – the possibilities are endless.

20. If something can be done in less than five minutes, just do it now. It will make that much more room in your stressed out brain and crossing it off your list will feel so good, regardless of how small it is.

21. Put your phone on airplane mode when you have to get something done that’s particularly tedious. 

22. When things get to be too much, close your eyes, take a deep breath, then start again. It’s simple and it helps more than you think. TC mark