Thought Catalog


I Was Terrified Of Losing My Boyfriend, So I Drove 300 Miles To Offer Him My Naked Body

Posted: 25 Aug 2016 10:00 PM PDT

Drew Wilson
Drew Wilson

While riding the lift to my boyfriend Dave's room at the Holiday Inn, I stole a look at my reflection in the shiny surface of the elevator wall. I looked as I was – a woman in her late thirties who drove through the night with just clothes on her back and a purse in a desperate attempt to hold onto her man.

"Your problem is not that you are desperate to get a man Myra, but do you have to be so obvious about it?" My best friend Janice always asks me. I knew she would not approve of this last minute effort I undertook.

Dave and I were dating for last two years, but in the last six months or so I felt us drifting apart. Then he had this job opportunity in another town over three hundred miles away from where we lived. I was reluctant for him to take this offer as I had a job too, and it would have been difficult for me to move from the town I had spent all my adult life in. We had a few arguments in last week, and finally Dave told me he wanted to give this opportunity a try no matter what. He was to undergo a series of interviews and discussions with the top management starting this morning.

Yesterday evening, I returned to the apartment I shared with Janice, and suddenly I was struck with the certainty that if I did not let Dave know how much I needed him, he would drift away. Not only was he two years younger than me, but also a much more self-assured, outgoing man.

So, acting completely on instinct, I jumped in my car and drove almost all night to the hotel he checked in last evening.

I wanted to act cool, though. I wanted to come across as a girlfriend just eager to give a sexy surprise to her man. Beneath my nondescript t-shirt and jeans I wore my best pair of satin bra and panties. I had even planned some sexy lines when he would open the door. Something like "I am the room service you ordered, Sir."

All of that went out the door the moment I rang the doorbell, and Dave opened the door in a hotel issued bathrobe. His mouth hung open in surprise, and I tried to smile but midway through that effort, my lips started quivering and my legs nearly buckled. I did not wait for him to move aside to let me enter the room but nearly jumped in his arms, sobbing.

"Myra, my God! What happened baby?" He asked as he held me and awkwardly, and shut the door with one hand. I refused to speak, and clung to him as sobs wrecked my body. I was afraid to even kiss him now for the fear of smearing his face with the tears and the snot. Oh My God, what kind of needy, whiny impression I was making on him?

And then, to my utter surprise, Dave turned my face towards him and wiped my tears with his long, elegant fingers. He shook his head no and gently, so gently closed his lips with mine. That was all the response my needy, shameless self needed. I stood on toes, (he is almost a foot taller than I am) and kissed him back. I pushed my body against his, trying to feel the comfort of his hard, lean body. He walked me inside his small room, and made me seat on the bed.

"What happened baby?" he asked me again.

I knew there was no way I could get away acting cool now. Fuck cool, fuck asserting yourself girl, you need him, tell him so.

"Please don't leave me Dave, I…. I love you and I …" I again broke down. I put my head on his shoulders, and sobbed while he stroked my dark hair.

"I need you to be with me Dave" I said when I could. My cheeks were burning with shame. I could hear Janice's voice in my ear, "Good, why don't you throw yourself at his feet, and offer yourself as his concubine while you are at it, darling?"

Dave sat with his head bowed for a minute. When he looked up, his brown eyes seemed strangely expressionless, but his hand reached and unbuttoned my blouse's top button. I involuntarily drew my breath, and closed my eyes. Another button opened, and then another. He eased my shirt over my shoulders. My breasts heaved inside the sexy bra I wore. Looking down at my slightly oversized breasts in the red bra, I felt silly. Dave would laugh at this silly woman who drove three hundred miles wearing the ‘fuck me’ clothes.

Instead, he eased one strap from my shoulder. My nipple, exposed to the chilly air of the room, stiffened instantly. He bent to take it in his mouth, and sucked on it. His hands fumbled on the bra clasp on my back. He undid it with my help, and pushed so that I lay on his bed with my legs still dangling. Dave dropped his robe and rolled on top of me. He closed my lips with his, and kneaded my breasts with both hands. I grinded my crotch against his, and felt his manhood getting in attack mode. Our clothes could not come off soon enough for me. Soon I lay on my back with my legs bent at knees. Dave stroked my face, and kissed me again while entering me. I gasped and let out a long sigh. Dave thrusted harder, and I responded with an arched back.

"Oh you silly silly woman…” he murmured as he built the tempo of our lovemaking. The cheap bed of the motel creaked as I wrapped my thighs around his hard middle, and held his strong shoulders. Dave buried his face in my breasts and sucked on my nipples again. Our lovemaking was sweet because we were both in it, intense because it was unexpected. When we finished within a few moments of each other my face was wet with my tears.

I mostly stayed in bed through the day while Dave went to meet his prospective employers.

He returned in the early evening and found me in bed, recently showered, scrubbed and gloriously naked. Dave discarded his suit, and climbed in bed with me.

This time, he made me sit on all fours, and entered me from behind. We rarely fucked in this position, and having a man sitting on his knees behind my ample rump and entering me from behind drove me even wilder. Dave too was excited to find his girlfriend waiting for him in bed like this, and this time we were feverish, he was a little rough; spanking my bottom a few times, and kneading my breasts through my armpits till they had his marks on them. I buried my face in the pillow, and allowed my man to ram me to both our content. We finished with Dave sitting in bed with his legs spread before and me straddling him. He held my buttocks, and guided me up and down on his hard cock. I held his shoulders and impaled myself willingly again and again on him. Dave gave me big love bite on my breasts at the moment of climax.

Dave wanted to take me out and buy new clothes since I had packed nothing except for the blouse and jeans I wore. I told him I had no interest in sight-seeing. I stayed in the room and watched TV most of the time he was out. When he was in, he was in if you know what I mean!

Dave got the job, and decided move to the new city. He asked me to move in with him t, and despite of most of my girlfriend's advice to the contrary, I decided to give up my job, and move with him. Dave and I made it work. I got pregnant within six months of moving to the new place (I did not have much else to do hehe), and we got married when I was five months along.

It is six years to that incident now, and we have two boys aged five and four. When the boys are a little older, Dave and I are planning to check in the same room of the same hotel.

I will pack nothing except the clothes I am wearing. TC mark

18 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Drunk Text They’ve Ever Sent

Posted: 25 Aug 2016 07:15 PM PDT

TonyTheTigersSon
TonyTheTigersSon

😱

1.

I somehow managed to mass text everybody on my contacts list “Where are you?” at 2:30am.

I woke up to a shit load of texts, and tried to figure out how it was even possible I did it, then I accidentally resent it again to everybody.

2.

Our mate slept with an absolute horror who had a reputation for being dirty. My brother meant to send him a text saying “did she take it up the arse”. Instead of sending the text to Dan, he sent it to Dad.

My Dad replied “There are at least three times she didn’t”. I have two brothers.

3.

“My dad’s totally gonna know I’m drunk and high” sent text to my dad… He responded, “I do now, you dumb ass.”

4.

Texted some girls mom, “hey” thinking it was her. Mom texted back “hey tupnado21, this is her mom.”

To which I replied, “that’s okay you’re hot too.”

Regrettable pause… No response…

Panic text follow up,

“I mean, I think you’re sexy for an old lady!”

5.

Once I asked a girl if she would eat my cum. After she turned down the offer, I said “Fine, more for me.”

6.

I was high, but i sent a picture of the fried chicken i was about to eat to my mom saying “look at this delicious fucker right here, lol no chicken for u”

7.

Ate 3 boxes of peeps on Easter and took the nastiest shit. Tried texting a pic to my group of guy friends but instead sent it to the girl I had been dating for 3 weeks. 2 years later she still brings it up.

8.

Texted my best friend’s sister, also a friend but we weren’t super close, who I had a major crush on, told her how hot I thought she was and how badly I wanted to have sex with her. She replied that I should drink some water.

Texted her once I was sober to apologize. Her response: “lol no worries, we’ve all been there.”

Hasn’t mentioned it in the 7 years since then, I got over my crush on her and she’s now one of my best friends.

9.

Not drunk, but high. I texted my mother, “thx you for so much you ar a gud moher i Hope you sleep well tonih”

10.

“You look like a worm with welly boots on” to a girl I don’t know at all. Then tried to get her to come over.

11.

Quite a long text with fairly graphic detail, describing just how much I had enjoyed the blow job I had received from her earlier. Was intended for my GF at the time. Sent it to my mum. I switched the phone off in horror when I realised what I had done. Hoping it would somehow stop it. This was in the early 00’s when sms delivery reports were all the rage. When I plucked up enough courage and switched the phone on. I received the text “Delivered Mum Mob” Luckily she never mentioned it.

12.

“I THOUGHT that was your sexy ass”

Sent it to the printer repair contractor at work instead of my boyfriend. they both have the same first name. it went okay.

13.

I texted a girl I liked, “I need help. Like now.” She called me in a panic, asking me where I was and what she needed to do. And my drunk ass replied, “My boots won’t come off. How do you take off shoes?” She cussed at me a Lil bit, then told me to describe my shoes. After about twenty minutes she showed up at my house right as I started feeling sick, and she took my boots off and watered me. It was nice.

14.

Professed my apparent undying love to my cheating ex girlfriend late at night after a night out w my buddies. Got a “Good morning <3” text the next day and I had to awkwardly break up with her once again.

For clarification: she fucked this dude who was apparently “just friends” with her for an entire year behind my back and she wanted me to just forget the whole thing and continue dating like nothing ever happened. I didn’t.

15.

Wanted to get some tail and decided to text two girls instead of texting them separately I texted them together in a group chat… in the group chat they both texted ” who’s the other person in this chat?” I didn’t answer and went to sleep.

16.

There was a girl I liked at the time, and I texted her she was a “good human”. We actually ended up dating though so all in all, not too bad

17.

I asked a girl, who I knew had feelings for me, to marry me.

18.

It was horribly spelled and grammar was shit but i was trying to send a text to my boyfriend that was something along the lines of “When I get home i’m going to maul the shit of of your privates and your going to fuck me like a dog in heat”

Sent it to my brother, that’s how I basically came out of the closet to my brother. TC mark

5 Reasons It’s Okay To Be ‘Just Friends’

Posted: 25 Aug 2016 07:00 PM PDT

  Elliott Dunning

Elliott Dunning

1. It’s fun. Friendships are playful, they don’t have to last long and therefore they somehow do. They’re almost more carefree than the most summery of romances, and your ability to be candid with the other person also means either one of you can say what’s on your mind. Even if it means one of you has fallen for the other. Once in love, however, it’s much harder to tell said person that you don’t feel the same way anymore.

2. You don’t have to please them at your own expense. So many relationships revolve on sacrifice nowadays that it’s rare to see a happy couple that doesn’t begrudge each other in some way. To me, this is the beginning of the end. Friends over ends, for days.

3. Deeper conversations. If you don’t become ‘just friends’ with someone you’ve dated or even hooked up with, I definitely recommend getting on that level regardless. There’s a familiarity that comes with communicating, knowing there isn’t some tacit deal on the back burner of their mind.

4. If they’re simply not attracted to you. This one is one of the hardest to accept, but once you do, you’ll regain the ability to see your most wonderful qualities again, reflected in someone who cares deeply about you… Just not that way. Or maybe just not enough for something amazing to work– which you totally deserve– just not with them.

5. Remember: you can still be with them without BEING with them. When you’re lonely, come back to this note, cherish your relationships with people, but cherish yourself and if you’re single, your independence. You don’t have to be lonely. And, as a wise woman once told me, it doesn’t have to hurt. TC mark

10 Signs He’s Just Not That Into You (But Who Really Cares?)

Posted: 25 Aug 2016 06:15 PM PDT

Olga Ush
Olga Ush

You consider yourself a smart, independent woman. You make good choices for the most part and you're always there for your friends. You give the BEST dating advice. Yet here you are, questioning yourself, stalking some guy's social media platforms for clues, reading his horoscope, listening to sad songs, wasting so much of your day because you just can't tell whether he likes you or not! UGH. Why can't he just come out and tell you!!??!? I know, it's super frustrating, but boys are stupid so you can't expect too much from them. (Do I sound bitter? Lol. Enough about me. Let's get back to you and your imaginary relationship instead.)

Before we begin, if you find yourself reading this article because some boy is giving you mixed signals, allow me to give you some priceless advice: RUN!!!! Let's be honest, if he was into you, you wouldn't be Googling articles about whether or not he's into you. But hey! It's your life and maybe you're just really into the pain…

Below are 10 definite signs that he is just not that into you.

1. He needs constant attention.

At first it may seem sweet that he needs so much attention from you, but as time goes on, you'll come to realize that he needs a lot of attention in general. Like, from everyone. This is around the moment when you should ask yourself whether he actually likes you, or he's just another attention craving whore.

2. He's always texting or messaging other women.

If he is into you, he will cherish the time you spend together and he won't jeopardize it by talking to other women. Period. If the list of other women he's talking to is long, it's an indicator that he's insecure and needy. It is then up to you to decide whether you are looking to date a little boy or a man you can actually build a future with.

3. He's open with you about other women.

When he insists on telling you about the other women in his life, you might think: WOW he's being so honest—gotta respect that! But the reality is that men bring up other women to emphasize that they aren't that serious about you. It's a mechanism for pushing you away by hinting that whatever you've got going on isn't going anywhere. But cheer up, Buttercup! He might not be that into you, but he's not that into any of those other girls, either. What he's into is the attention! ☺

4. He never asks about your day.

This one is very simple. If a man likes you, he wants to know more about you. If he doesn't care to check in—to ask a few thoughtful questions about how your day went or what's new with you, then he's putting no effort into getting to know you. Especially as time goes on, if he's keeping all of your conversations light instead of asking you more meaningful questions, he is just not that into you.

5. He never talks about his day.

If he is not opening up to you and sharing information about himself, it's a bright red flag. There's a big difference between knowing things about someone and knowing them. If he offers you nothing more than the bare minimum—like where he's from, what he does for a living, and other pointless little details you could find on his LinkedIn page—then he is most likely not that into you.

6. You always find yourself contacting him first.

If you're always the one reaching out because you're secretly afraid that you won't ever speak again otherwise, he is clearly not that invested in the relationship. You may start to question yourself and think that you're being needy but the reality is that when two people like each other, they actually want to talk to one another! No excuses.

7. He takes too long to get back to you or to set up a date.

When you're with him, he is always on his phone. Yet when you text him, he's too busy to respond…. Hmmmmm.

If he doesn't call you, keeps his messages short, takes hours or days to respond to your texts and/or calls and sometimes just doesn't get back to you at all, even after promising that he will, he is definitely not that into you.

If he is constantly too busy but somehow has time for his friends, cancels plans with you at the last minute, blows you off when you try to make plans and never sets an actual time to see you, then he is just not that into you. If you only see him on his terms and that usually consists of last minute plans, then you are most likely his last resort.

8. He never hits you up to hang out during the day, only at 2 AM to "chill."

This is another simple and super easy sign that he's too dumb to appreciate how awesome you are. If it walks like a pig and talks like a pig, then it is most likely my EX (but also whatever dude you are currently wasting your time on). If he is not taking you out on dates, if he makes no effort to see you during the day, if he doesn't care to introduce you to his friends, if he only calls you when his night is over at 2 AM, then he is just not that into you.

9. He's not eating you out.

I know what you're thinking…. Is this a joke? Is this some kind of metaphor? Nope! It's not! I am actually talking about him eating your sushi bar—a.k.a. your pink taco, your happy meal, your vagina. (Anyone else hungry now? Because same. I want tacos!) Seriously, though, if he isn't going down on you, he probably doesn't care about satisfying you. Other key signs that he's a selfish asshole are that he refuses to look at your beautiful face during intercourse, he doesn't kiss you all that much, or he shows no sign of caring whether or not you orgasm.

10. You're always wondering.

If a man is interested in you, he makes it obvious. You don't have to wonder because he'll make it abundantly clear. When a man likes a woman, he'll do anything to get her attention. So stop making excuses for whichever man forced you to read this article. It's not that he's too busy, too shy, or too intimidated. It's not that you did anything wrong to make him angry, that he's "going through a tough time right now and needs space," or whatever other excuse you've told yourself. Trust the inner voice that's making you question why you ever liked him in the first place. If he were into you, you'd know.

The next time you think of hitting him up or he hits you up just for the attention, ask yourself this: Are you a dirty towel that dude can just use and then throw on the floor until they need it again? Your answer better be NO! Step away from this disaster before your self-esteem is completely non-existent.

If you've given it your all and it's still not enough, then learn to let it go. Know when it is time to give up on someone and move on before you waste all your time and energy on someone who doesn't deserve you. Remind yourself what a wonderful and unique individual you are and how anyone would be lucky to have you and then ask yourself why you are wasting your time on someone who doesn't care to acknowledge how amazing you are! Move on and find someone who actually deserves you and your precious time. TC mark

This story originally appeared on DaddyIssuesLA.

34 People Reveal The Horrifying Family Secret That Shook Them To Their Core

Posted: 25 Aug 2016 06:00 PM PDT

tpetersson
tpetersson

Content originally from R/AskReddit

1. Secret brother

Maybe 6 months ago or so I found out that i have a maternal half brother that I never knew about.

Found him on Facebook, he is a very decent human being and has been nothing but friendly towards me. His childhood sounds horribly sad at the fault of my mother, and its for that reason I still cant bring myself to really sit down and talk to him about family history.

2. Parental cheating

My parents met while my mother was still married to her first husband. My mother PURSUED my father while she was married. My father MOVED IN with my mother and her husband-at-the-time for a couple months before the husband moved out. Poor guy.

3. Scheming Grandfather

Grandpa built homes for a living.

If money was tight he’d set it on fire so he could be paid to rebuild.

4. Secrets from the mail order bride

My grandfather homesteaded in western Canada around 1910, and after a few years of living alone in a sod hut, basically ordered a mail-order bride from the U.S. — a girl from the same national/ethnic group as him. She moved to the wilds of Alberta without ever having met him and they married and had a large family, including my mother, and bla, bla, bla.

Fast forward 90 years and one of my siblings takes up genealogy as a hobby and starts poking around in family history and looking at birth dates etc. and discovers that my mother’s eldest sibling was born in western Canada only a couple of months after my grandmother arrived at the homestead.

So it is likely that the lives of myself and dozens of my siblings and cousins and their children who now make up my large extended family were shaped because my granny came to Canada probably to escape the shame of being an unwed mother. She left a rather civilized life in a mid-western U.S. city to live in a little shack on the wind-swept prairies of Western Canada.

5. “What did that guy do?” (Commit murder)

There was a brutal murder that everyone knows about (but me apparently) and nobody talks about. When I was 18, we were cleaning out my grandparents house after their death. Someone dropped a picture frame and a photo fell out. The way it was placed in the frame, one guy in the photo was cut off. I made some joke about “Sheesh, what did that guy do? Are we hiding him?” Everyone looked at me with these stunned looks on their faces, like wtf are you doing??? Everyone just sort of changed the subject and wandered away. It was a weird moment and I wasn’t sure what had happened.

My parents later explained to me that he was my great uncle and he murdered his wife and tried to kill his children…who were among those standing there when I said it. I was like “why on earth did you hide this from me???” They said they thought I knew…

6. Racist grandpa

Whenever we would visit grandmas house she also owned the yellow house next door. It was never in very good shape and no one ever used it.

One day my dad told me that the only reason my grandpa bought it was because the realtor told him that a black family was looking at getting the house. So my grandpa bought the house.

7. Nobody knew…

My great uncle was a sniper in Vietnam. Nobody knew until after he died, not even his wife.

8. Grandma’s secrets

Grandma had a family before ours including 3 daughters we did not know about. She had run away from an abusive husband, and never mentioned it to anyone. We only found out after she passed when we received a letter from one of the daughters.

9. Sons murder father

My two uncles ax murdered my grandpa and then shot the body 15 times with a .22 rifle.

My dad and the uncle just younger than him were off training in the marines. This left grandma, grandpa, and 3 younger siblings at home. For some reason grandma all the sudden took the youngest child and moved to the other side of the country and didn’t tell anyone. This left grandpa, and 2 middle uncles alone. For some reason grandpa kicked the two uncles out of the house (they were high school aged). The uncles, instead of leaving and finding a new home or finding grandma, snuck into the attic and lived there for a few months. Eventually I guess they just decided grandpa needed to die and so they buried an ax in the back of his head.

I was sure surprised to learn that tidbit

10. Found out I was a different…heritage.

Went all my life being told my moms side of the family was Arabic. Didn’t put much thought in it until my grandma died, then I wanted to know more about our family.

Saw my grandma’s maiden name was super Jewish “Toviyah”. Did a bunch of research which confirmed my grandmas family were probably crypto Jews.

Did a DNA test to find out our ancestry.

Ashkenazi Jew.

Some Mexican Americans we are.

11. They weren’t divorced…

I thought my grandparents were divorced and that’s why I never met my grandfather. Turns out my mother would refuse to bring me to the house unless his abusive ass went down to the pub before we got there, but my grandparents were married right up until his death.

12. “Never see them again…”

My dad had an affair and a child from that affair that I’ve never met. My mom told me when I was 21 in case the daughter showed up at some point. My mom’s condition for staying with him was that he never saw that woman or that kid again and he agreed.

13. Nobody thought he’d come back. But he did.

I got pregnant while unmarried, at 22 years old. My Mom was worried my Grandparents, while very accepting on the surface, might be silently judging the situation and shared this with her Father.

He shared with her that back in 1959 he met my Gram and got her pregnant, before they were married. Went off to basic training in another state, promising to come back and marry her. No one thought he would, but he did. She was sent to a ‘home’ for unwed women and he found her, married her and had 4 more kids! (My Mom is the oldest). They kept this a secret from all the kids, although the older generation knew, but were almost all dead by the time he revealed it to her. Kinda romantic…

14. The “secret room”

I was about 5 when I walked into the basement in the ”secret” room. My father prohibited me from going there for some BS reason and one day I went by myself. He was growing weed for personal use in the basement. I never told him I found out and I just carried on.

15. Huge family drama

Before marrying my uncle, my aunt was engaged to his younger brother. Watching those two interact at family functions is super fun.

16. Wha??

The lesbian relationship my grandmother had with an eighteen-year-old she met through a “prison outreach” program.

17. !!!!

My cousin is an incest baby. That is a secret that’s going to the grave.

18. She only told us.

It’s between me and my dad for the most part, but here goes.

My grandmother passed away about a year and a half ago, and my mother was an absolute wreck (still is) over it.

My dad and I were complete realists and came to the conclusion that grandma wanted to die, because she couldn’t handle doing all the work around the house with her husband and mentally disabled 50 year-old son at home yelling at each other all the time. It wore her out to the point that she became sick.

When dad and I were at the hospital with her, and mom and grandpa left to get a bite to eat, grandma opened her eyes and told me and my dad ‘I can’t live here anymore. I’m just tired. I want them to let me go.’

Dad and I swore to never tell anyone that in our family. And we haven’t. And we probably never will. She died 2 hours after saying that.

19. She doesn’t know he was her father.

My uncle had an affair with a woman he worked with. Eventually they separated from their spouses and got married. My new aunt already had two kids when they got married. The family secret is that the youngest is actually my uncle’s biological daughter. She doesn’t know and I’m not sure who else in my family knows. It’s never been fully proven, but she looks a hell of lot like my uncle.

My uncle has since passed away. I feel like because of that it’ll always remain a secret/family rumor.

20. There’s no evidence…but….

It’s believed that my aunt and her sister murdered a man. There’s no evidence, and the case remains unsolved. My aunt was madly in love with the dude, and he was getting married. He was found dead in his home, beaten to death with a bat.

The police believe he knew the killer(s), there was no sign of forced entry. A family friend said on the night the victim was murdered, he saw two blonde women walking down the road away from the victim’s house, in the dark. My aunt and her sister are both blonde.

21. This is really sad

My great grandfather had a lobotomy because of “unknown mental issues”. He was basically a zombie afterwards, and died shortly before my grandmother married my grandfather. Really sad, because I a) Always heard he was a wonderful guy, and it must suck to see that happen, and b) Now know why my grandmother never speaks of him.

There’s also quite a few family members on that side with anxiety disorders, myself and my sister included. They’re all very well controlled and not a hindrance for the most part at all, because of modern medicine and such. That also makes me sad, because I bet it’s hereditary, whatever was bothering Great Grandpa. He probably just needed better treatment.

22. Wow.

My aunt cut off communication with my family after my grandparents died. She was their caretaker and after they died she just disappeared from our lives. About a year or so later, my dad gets a call from Florida P.D. saying he needs to come claim/identify her body. From what we gathered from some people she knew, she had cancer.

When my dad and sister got down there, they’re told she killed herself in a hotel room by drinking antifreeze. She never had cancer. When she stopped talking to my family, she took whatever money she had from my grandparents and traveled the world, and when money ran out, she offed herself.

After we figured some of this stuff out, we were in contact with some of her “friends” who she had made on her trips. They were all (including a nurse) convinced by her that she had cancer. She was just a pathological liar.

23. My dad didn’t want me born

Apparently the day my mom found out she was pregnant with me, my dad yelled and pressured her to not keep the pregnancy. My mom, my brother, and sister left to live with my grandparents for a while because of that fight. He eventually came around, but still pretty damn shocking to find out that your dad didn’t want you initially.

Also I hit a rabbit late at night in the middle of Nevada while on a roadtrip with my dad. Immediately after hitting it my dad says, “At least it wasn’t a person.” Found out a few years later that he hit a drunk guy on the highway when he was in college. He was ruled not at fault in court.

Needless to say, my dad and I have an odd relationship.

24. Murder, not heart attack

That my grandfather which I thought died of a heart attack, actually died from being shot at an underground poker game for reasons unknown, and that he was an alcoholic.

25. He probably killed the guy

My mom was jumped and raped (eerily, around the same day and month I would be beaten and raped thirty-odd years later) and my grandfather and uncle (her father and brother) most likely killed the man who did it.

26. She was the only one who survived.

That my cousin was the only survivor of her family’s massacre. I didn’t know about it until I learned about it on a tv show.

I was watching a documentary on “worst mass shootings” in Canada one day about a man who randomly drove past their farm came in and shot them all. She survived because he didn’t see her in her bed. Ended up being really surreal when I put the pieces together that she was who my mom used to talk about.

Weirder was that this all happened after I moved to a city near by the farm and heard people talking about the incident as well. It’s very bizarre hearing people talk about something that involves family, even if you didn’t have a relationship with them.

It’s always sat unwell with me because you hear about the stories but never think “that’ll happen to me or anyone I know” and suddenly the thought changes when it happens to someone within family ties even if I didn’t know her, my close family did.

27. My mom was so PISSED

Long story short, my grandma and great aunt hid the fact that great aunt’s husband not only molested and impregnanted his own daughter but also molested HER daughter (his granddaughter) – the child she had AFTER she gave birth to her father’s child, a son.

When he got caught molesting the granddaughter, her mother was trying to stop him (maybe pressing charges, I don’t know) and he and my GA left their home state and moved to the state where we are.

My grandma knew, hid it until one day she saw him paying a lot of attention to 8 year old me. He and GA went to church with us and we had lots of family gatherings. She then grilled me alone the next day to see if he’d done anything to me, took me home to my parents and finally told them that he’d been living here for months because of what he did to his granddaughter.

I was sent to play in my room and years later, Mom and Dad said they raised complete hell. They were angry, disgusted, etc that she had the nerve to hide that and put me in possible danger. They told me about the whole situation about 10 years later.

25ish years later, I work as an advocate for families and children. I think of my cousin, his granddaughter and his daughter every day. I have a photo of them together. I look at it to remind me to fight as hard as I can against family secrets, to do everything in my power to protect the kids I serve. They both have lived horrible lives that what he did to them made possible. I take every ounce of hatred I have for him and use it to help kids who are forced to be victimized by people like him. It sounds cheesy but his granddaughter is my age. Looking side by side at our lives and knowing what she could have become if he’d not done what he did…just sad.

28. Too many to even tell

God, my family ended up having tons of secrets that really shocked me when I found out, but that are now just whatever.

Two of my aunts seemed to be incapable of avoiding pregnancy in their teens. One aunt had two abortions for unwanted teen pregnancies, before the doctor refused to give her a third and she was forced to have the baby. She gave the baby up for adoption.

Another aunt had two unwanted teen pregnancies, and went through with both of them. She gave the first baby up for adoption, and tried to raise the second baby for about six months before realising she wasn’t cut out for it. My grandparents were farmhands and moved around a lot to follow where the work was, so during one of their moves it was just agreed that my grandmother would take the baby on instead, and he was raised as my uncle instead of my cousin. Everyone in the family now knows this, and still treats him as an uncle because that’s his preference and that’s what we grew up with.

Two of my great uncles had marriages to the same woman. During her first marriage to one of my uncles, she started having an affair with his brother and eventually left my first great uncle to run off with the second. They then remained married for the rest of their lives, but my two great-uncles never spoke again.

29. Dad is a mystery

“Your mother was married before we met” BUT WAIT, that’s not it. “I broke up your mother’s marriage and we married shortly afterwards. We were so in love for these past 25 years.” STILL NOT IT. “I was in a committed gay relationship when I met your mother and then decided to be straight when my boyfriend left me to chase his dreams in Sweden” OMG THIS IS STILL NOT IT…. “I know your mother just died three weeks ago, but I moved this guy named Jeff into the house and he will be sleeping with me.”

…Yeah that was it. New boyfriend sleeping where my mother literally died less than a month ago. Also “Don’t tell your sisters”. Thaaaaanks, Dad.

30. My aunt’s husband has multiple wives…

My aunt isn’t the only wife and she is so nice that she actually allowed her husband to marry another woman HOWEVER unfortunately her husband now uses her for things like food and shelter but whenever he goes on a holiday he takes the other wife.

I then found out that when he wanted to marry the other woman she said that he’d have to divorce her, they then went to court and the husband says that he will only divorce her if she won’t try to take from him (properties and all that), she disagreed, the guy then bribes someone off, they go to court and he suddenly becomes the victim and doesn’t want to divorce her and she had to remain married to the guy and see him marry someone else too.

She also has to make pastries and even some times takes care of the second wife’s kid. I am so livid about it but she gave up the fight a long time ago.

Nowadays whenever he comes to her house it becomes more of a burden. He expects all his clothes clean and ironed, uses the only car their kids could actually drive (he bought a manual car for himself and an auto car for my aunt and her kids to use to buy grocery and necessities) expects home cooked meals, and constantly verbally abuses her. Her eldest son won’t even have dinner together with them because he can’t stand how his dad is treating his mom. He tries his best to protect my aunt.

The only thing that is keeping the fucking guy useful is that he sometimes gives money to his kids for their education (although he is forcing them to learn what he wants them to learn like how the eldest son was more interested in business but he forced him to take engineering instead) and he also provides the money for food (but my aunt has to go ask him for it and get verbally abused while she does so btw she’s unfit to work and TOO FREAKING NICE, she makes pastries and bakes awesome cakes but if someone asks for it she’d do it for free even though she doesn’t even have the money.)

I’m getting pissed just writing about it. I wouldn’t say it’s a family secret but they were keeping it hush hush about it.

31. WTF

My grandfather had written inappropriate love notes to his daughter when she was 13. He was an alcoholic, and she got married off soon after, so we rarely ever see my aunt.

32. Will the robber ever “finish the job?”

My uncle was murdered at the age of 20. He was a very stand up guy. Very sociable, very likable, and extremely kind. He went to a party one day and stayed afterwards to help the hosts (an elderly couple) clean up. A robber came in and shot all three of them to death. The guy was quickly caught but showed no remorse for his actions. After a relatively short trial he was sentenced and given life + 1000 years. He has sworn to “finish the job” and kill my entire family if he ever gets out. He is up for parole every 5 years or so.

33. Our priest uncle was a child molester

I had a great uncle on my mom’s side who was a Catholic Priest. I’d always thought he was a nice old man. He’d never done or said anything I found suspicious. I’d seen him at numerous family gatherings throughout my life. When he died, my dad told my brothers and I that he was a child molester and rapist.

He had numerous victims. When the police searched his home, they found a trunk full of child pornography, much of which he made himself. One of his victims was so broken down mentally, he was deemed unfit to testify in court. The real kicker? He was simply moved to a diocese in San Diego after all was said and done. My mothers family never talks about it. Some of them resented my dad for his willingness to talk about how atrocious it all was.

Also, when I was a kid, my mom drunkenly told me that she’d had numerous miscarriages before she had my brothers and I. Not terribly shocking, just the sort of thing that makes you think about who your parents were before you existed, or what kind of lives they lead that you’ll never know about.

34. My brother isn’t my dad’s kid…

When I was hanging out with my kid brother (he was 14 at the time, I was 24) he said something to the affect of, “You know, I think I look more like Mom’s friend SoandSo than I look like Dad…

After years of my own quiet denial he was finally growing up and very much starting to look ALOT like string-bean SoandSo and not so much like my inherently flabby dad. So I said to young broseph, “I don’t know buddy, things were rough and weird back in the day. You might be surprised if you investigate.”

So a few months roll by and I’m sitting in an all-nite-dinner and SoandSo walks in, he sees me, and decides to sit with me. Pleasantries are exchanges and after a few minutes I absolutely HAVE TO ask him… So I do.

He admits to a 20 year affair and even going so far as to secretly plucking some of my brother’s hair and sending it in to a mail-away DNA test, which came back positive. He goes into a huge spiel about wanting to come clean spend time with him but not wanting to have be around my mother (things had gone down hill between them long since). I told him that the kid was usually home alone three to four hours everyday after school and he’d love nothing more to hang out with him from time to time (my own dad had moved 1400 miles away). So SoandSo stammers for a minute and makes a shit ton of excuses. I stood up, called him a pussy, told him to pay for my cheeseburger, and left.

My brother figured it out on his own and never could grow close to the man. He later ended up resenting him when SoandSo decided to start a legit family of his own thus making him feel discarded.

Our mother is great and we don’t bother her about the past. We all know love is a strange animal. TC mark

6 Ways To Avoid Getting Bored In A Relationship

Posted: 25 Aug 2016 05:15 PM PDT

Larsbars
Larsbars

Are you getting bored in a relationship? And want to know know to fix a boring relationship?

When we think of romantic relationships, we think thoughts of loving and being happy with that special someone. But over the years, when you've got to know each other too well and things have become a routine, the excitement seems to fade away.

So, how do you keep things romantic and always exciting in a relationship? How can you or your partner avoid feeling like the romance is gone? You shouldn't only spice things up at the beginning in order to build a relationship with your special someone. You have to do it at different points throughout your years together. It's the secret to a happy and healthy relationship. So how can we achieve this?

How to Spice Up Romantic Relationships

Lighted candles, body massage, and bubble baths are simply not enough to keep the romance alive. You need to liven things up and re-introduce romance into the relationship. Here are tips to effectively spice things up:

  1. Reignite Past Positive Memories: Dwelling on the bad things won't change those things. It's better to think of all the good times you've spent together. Visit those memorable places you've been to before such as where you spent your first anniversary or where you first met. Spend some time away from work or other things that's been keeping your attention away from each other. Some time alone together in these places will help cause you both to remember the way ye felt about each other then.
  2. Learn to understand and be forgiving of your partner's mistakes: The best times in any relationship are said to be the first few years of being a couple. And as time goes by, either one or both of you become less demonstrative of your affection to the other. You also find yourselves arguing even on the smallest things. The reality is that a lot of these petty fights can be avoided if you just know how to understand and forgive your partner's mistakes or shortcomings. Be sensitive to his or her needs as well. You'll never be able to spice things up if you can't have a positive outlook in your relationship.
  3. Find change within yourself: Often, we say we love our partner because of who he or she is. But at the back of our mind, we are actually expecting that our partner will become the person we want for us. This will eventually come out sooner or later, when you find yourselves getting into a lot of misunderstandings and hurt. Don't try to change your partner into someone you want him or her to be. If you want change, start within yourself. Figure out where you need to improve or ask your partner what he'd like better from you. Improving how you are in the relationship does a lot to improve the relationship itself.
  4. Be expressive of your love and be generous on compliments: A good compliment is always appreciated. So, learn to be vocal on what you like about your partner and what you appreciate him doing. Don't overlook simple things such as saying "thank you" and "I love you" whenever appropriate. Simple courtesies bring you back to the basics of romance.
  5. Encourage one another to talk and listen: A common scenario is the woman nagging and a man not listening or both man and woman are talking and shouting at each other. This can be prevented if you both know how to listen and give each other the time to talk. Usually, men are not used to talking compared to women. So, if you're a woman, try to balance this out by letting your man talk while you listen. If you're the only one who does the talking, you'll never hear what your partner has to say! An open communication line will make it much easier for romance to flow back into the relationship.
  6. Find ways to release stress: Allotting time for relaxation will help get rid of all the stress and pressures in life, and allow you to be sensuous to your partner again. This helps allow you be in tune again with one another and make you see each other in a better light. Passion will consequently have a better chance of burning when you both have removed the bad stress from your lives.

Why can’t I have a romantic love story like in the movies?

Because what you see in the movies is an idealized version of love. What do i mean by this? Well have you ever seen those perfect photoshoots of models only to find out that what you see isn’t actually real at all, but that their faces and bodies have been heavily touched up in order to make them more beautiful?

The same holds true for hollywood romantic rom-coms. These types of films are pleasing on the eye and mind and show how love would look in a perfect world …but not the real world. This is what each and every person must realize when entering a relationship or marriage. It is possible to have a romantic love story that is completely fulfilling and satisfying, but you must realize that you shouldn’t be trying to chase the fiction you see in hollywood movies. TC mark

I’m Sick Of This Bullshit Dating World Where We All Have To Pretend Like We Don’t Care

Posted: 25 Aug 2016 05:00 PM PDT

unsplash.com
unsplash.com

Apathy is so "in." Isn't it sad that we've gotten to a point where we envy people who are less emotional? A point where being distant, detached, and disinterested is so cool now? The celebrities we are all collectively so obsessed with are the blasé ones – the ones unfazed by the glitz and the glamour, think Rihanna. The ones we hate are the ones like Taylor Swift, who try a little too hard and care a little too much. But even the acquaintances we aspire to be are the ones who treat people like whispers in the wind.

Wow, she's so cool because men are all over her, and she can just wave them away, no strings attached.

Wow, that guy is so desirable because he's so disinterested in me and can't give me the time of day.

Let's really consider where we are as a society right now.

Games. Was there always a game? Maybe without phones there was a game, too. Maybe I'm the naive one, the dumb one, the one that doesn't know how to play the game. It was my understanding that if you want to talk to someone, you talk to them when you want and how you want. Growing up, I always would watch these grandiose gestures of romance and love and confession, and that was the goal, that was the happy ending, and that's what distinguished the good characters from the bad. But perhaps I misunderstood. Maybe liking and loving have always been about strategy.

Why do I have to calculate when to send a text? Why do I have to calculate what to say to get some sort of reaction out of the person? If I thought about them, am I not allowed to talk to them? Calling them makes me the crazy one, the clingy one, the uncool one. And the fact that I'm complaining about this makes me even more crazy.

God forbid you go on a date. At this point, dates are completely null and void. The only thing people do now is "hang out."

Yeah I hung out with her. Yeah I chilled with him. Oh cute! So do you like her? Uh, I don't know. Do you like him? Uh, yeah, I don't know, I'm afraid of commitment and have trust issues.

Honestly, stop with the bullshit. I don't personally let random specimen invade me with their body parts. I don't usually choose to hold hands with people I hate. And I CERTAINLY don't sleep next to people I dislike because I don't get enough sleep as it is, but I clearly like you enough to let you compromise that. Stop fucking lying. You like each other and you can admit it.

What is wrong with liking someone? It feels like elementary school all over again.

"Oooooh Kristen likes him! K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

"NO I DON'T I HATE HIM HE'S UGLY."

Tell me this doesn't happen at our age too. "If you like him so much why don't you marry him?" Absolutely not!! Get serious with somebody because you like them? That's so dumb, so desperate. Am I right or am I right?

But let's say you are telling the truth about commitment issues or trust issues. What is so damn hard about committing?

You know why we're all so "afraid of committing?" It's because you're afraid the other person is afraid of committing, and you don't want to be the only one begging.

We're human. We hate rejection and we don't like not being on the same page, and we want love to be reciprocated. It's mortifying and embarrassing to be rejected. Humans have always needed validation – through writing, through art, through music – some sort of sign that other people feel and think as you do.

But what do you have to lose? Do you have something left to say to somebody? Do you want to tell the person how you feel but you're afraid he or she won't respond? Then you've done all you can. At the very least, you've gotten everything off your chest and now your thoughts don't have to eat away at you. If they don't respond, they weren't worth your time anyway. The other less-than-ideal scenario is that they reject you or they don't reciprocate your feelings. It will hurt, but now you can move on – clean and easy. Say what you feel. You literally have nothing to lose whatsoever. Life is way too short to wonder.

I'm on my hands and knees, begging for some sort of "caring" renaissance. I want us as a society to care about each other again. More so than that – I know people fucking care – I want people to show that they care. I'm sure humans as a whole got fed up with being hurt, so the natural reaction was to shut down. But I think at this point, we're all fed up with this robot society. I mean, literal robots are taking the place of humans and there are businesses for cuddling – and I genuinely don't want that. It's so sad that we're at a point where we have to justify "caring." A point where we're slaves to technological validation.

So fuck this. Fuck timing. Fuck games. Fuck the patriarchy. Fuck texting. I will do what I want because that's what I've always done.

I'm going to start caring again. For so long I feel like I've been trying not to care, to suppress my thoughts and my feelings, to be dishonest. If there's anything I hate more than this bullshit, it's liars. And frankly, we've all become liars. But hey, if you genuinely, deep in your heart don't care, you do you, but I don't want much to do with you, and I certainly will not choose to envy you. I'm going to show I care, and nobody can stop me. TC mark

Why Dating With Social Anxiety Sucks (And What You Can Do About It)

Posted: 25 Aug 2016 04:30 PM PDT

Pexels
Pexels

"Well this is weird" – ahhh… the magical words that I uttered to my (now) husband Dan, when we first met. It didn't help that he initially went in for a hug, whereas I'm firmly a handshake person. But I definitely shocked him with my opening statement. I got to the train station at least ten minutes early, sweating buckets and debating whether or not I should do a runner before I made a fool of myself.

Social anxiety can make dating tricky…. Or if I'm totally honest, it makes it a f**king nightmare. As someone who hates interviews, my performance on a date was never going to be great. After all, a first date is just an incredibly personal interview, except with booze (if you're lucky).

For example, some of my closest friends thought I was an ice queen when we first met. If I really like a person (either in a romantic or friendship way) I tend to be aloof and avoid eye contact. It comes across as though I'm bored, but I'm actually shitting myself.I also have a habit of avoiding said person, particularly if I see them in a place that I wasn't expecting. I remember one occasion when I was sixteen and I saw my school crush in B&Q. I physically darted into another aisle of the store, in a sort of James Bond dive roll style. Apparently social anxiety turns me into a secret agent! Funnily enough the same thing happened with my best friend a few weeks later… although she just followed me into the next aisle and asked what the f**k I was playing at. It's instinct ok!

The fear of saying the 'wrong thing' or coming across like a loser was all consuming for me.

Sat in a bar opposite Dan, I was boiling hot. But I couldn't take my jumper off because of the sweat situation! Also my hands were shaking, so I couldn't reach for my glass of wine in case he noticed.

Picture this scene:

Dan: Tell me more about what you do.
Me: *Stop looking at me you bastard, I need to have a swig of my wine* Oh I just work in publishing. What do you do?
Dan: Yeah but, what do you do in publishing?
Me: *Mother fucker* Nothing much hahaha!

At this point he bent down to tie his shoelace, during which time I literally downed half my glass. This took the edge of my nerves. (Not the best solution, but what can you do).

Fortunately he turned out to like me for exactly who I was… and after admitting that I had social anxiety (whilst locked in a hotel bathroom on holiday)… long story. The rest is history.

Some emergency tips and tricks that I've picked up:

  • Be honest. I don't mean admit that you have social anxiety as soon as you meet, more about the date venue. For example, if they suggest bowling, dining in a restaurant or something else that makes you nervous then SAY SO. Having social anxiety is hard enough without feeling uncomfortable in your surroundings. You don't have to go into too much detail, just say something like "actually I'm not a fan of that" or "I'd rather do this if that's ok."
  • Practice! One of the great things about dating apps is that they give you the option to meet lots of new people. If you find the dating scene nerve wracking, then why not build up your confidence by going on a few practice dates? Just member to stay away from Tinder, or the other notorious 'hook up' sites.
  • Text a friend beforehand for encouragement. I usually say something like "I'm freaking out… please tell me how amazing I am!"
  • Arrive a little early (no more than ten minutes) so that you can acclimatise to the venue and get comfy.
  • Do a CBT 'Thought Chart' in advance to challenge any negative thoughts. Read more about this here.
  • Do some belly breathing to keep the butterflies under control.
  • Watch this video for instructions.
  • For the love of God, a first date is NOT the time to try out a new hairstyle or makeup look. We all know that it'll go wrong and only increase your stress levels. Just keep it simple. Choose something that make you feel comfortable but confident.
  • If all else fails have a cheeky drink to take the edge of the nerves. (One not three, we don't want you falling downstairs or crashing into a plant). TC mark

50 Questions To Ask A Guy If You Want To Know Who He Really Is

Posted: 25 Aug 2016 04:15 PM PDT

corrinska
corrinska

1. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?

2. Are you a morning person or night person?

3. Do you prefer making plans or following along with what someone else planned?

4. Do you have a mentor in life that you've continuously looked up to?

5. When do you feel most vulnerable?

6. Where is the one place you've lived that has actually felt like home?

7. If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be and why?

8. What are you most proud of accomplishing?

9. What would your dream vacation consist of if money wasn’t a factor?

10. Can you honestly say you love what you do everyday?

11. What is one thing in life that makes you feel alive?

12. Are you a cat person or a dog person?

13. If you could change one thing about the world what would it be and why?

14. If you won the lottery what is the first thing you'd do with your money?

15. If you could go back and redo a part of your life, would you?

16. If you could go back and pick a different profession, what would you choose?

17. If you could live anywhere in the world where you would move?

18. Who in your life do you admire the most?

19. If you were a woman for a day what is the first thing you'd do?

20. What is your favorite hobby?

21. How often do you read your Horoscope?

22. What are the top three things on your bucket list?

23. Are you more of a summer or winter kind of person?

24. What helps you unwind after a long, stressful day?

25. When you're upset do you like to be comforted or left alone?

26. If you could change your name, what would you make it and why?

27. What was the best day of your life thus far?

28. What was the happiest moment you've ever experienced?

29. Do you feel like something is missing from your life?

30. What are you most passionate about?

31. What is one thing you'd love the learn more about?

32. What is your favorite non-physical part about yourself?

33. What is more important to you: money or happiness?

34. What was the last thing to make you cry?

35. What is your biggest fear?

36. What is the craziest thing you've ever done?

37. What is your biggest pet peeve?

38. What would you consider your best trait? And your worst trait?

39. What is the first thing you notice when you meet a girl?

40. Have you had any near death experiences?

41. What is the one thing that can always make you smile?

42. If you could marry one fictional character or celebrity, who would it be and why?

43. What is better in your opinion – asking for forgiveness or permission?

44. What is the most embarrassing moment you've ever experienced?

45. Would you rather watch the movie or read the book?

46. If you could have one super power what would it be and why?

47. How do you deal with people in your life who you don't like?

48. What is your biggest regret so far?

49. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? If so, what for?

50. If you could go back to a certain time in your life, what would it be? TC mark

These 23 Hilarious Posts From Internet Troll ‘Ken M’ Will Make You Laugh Your Ass Off

Posted: 25 Aug 2016 04:00 PM PDT