Thought Catalog

21 Men Share Exactly How It Feels When A Woman Cums And He’s Still Inside Her

Posted: 29 Aug 2016 10:00 PM PDT

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“Like the best hug ever…. like her vagina wants to say “thank you for being here.”


“Her pussy gets wetter and clenches my cock more so. My ex used to clench me with everything. Pussy, arms, legs wrapped around my back and locked, and she’d hold her breath. It was like “you’re not going anywhere!” If I was on top. Doggy style, I would hit that deep g spot and she’d have rolling orgasms and I would have to hold her upright by her little buns, because her thighs would go weak, she’d be face down, limp and speechless as she would start to tip over. It was so beautiful and cute. Ugh. I miss her. Her pussy would convulse for minutes on end and she couldn’t talk. Coming in her was heaven. I’ve put myself in a coma from OD’ing…I have been as high as consciously possible…nothing compared to her and I coming together. I have to say, we had an unbelievable sex life.”



No really. To be honest, it’s like velvet waves flowing down and around while gripping the penis while trying to push it out.

At least, that’s my experience.”


“Remember the end of The Fifth Element, when that giant ray of light bursts out of the perfect alien human lady, and Bruce Willis has to hold onto her for dear life, making that cringe face and the Bruce Willis noise, ‘eeeeeeerrrrrrrggggghhhhh!!!,’ and if he lets go, the whole world might be destroyed? Remember that? It’s like that.”


“As others said, it is strongly dependent on the girl – If she has well developed pelvic floor muscles, it can be a pretty amazing sensation. It is kind of hard to describe though: it’s almost like getting a very good blowjob, except that the active gripping and milking makes it really unique. What makes it even more of a turn on is when I feel that, and know that it happened due to her own orgasm.”


“My gf convulses so much that she literally forces me out when she cums so I haven’t felt it yet.”


“Feels like victory.”


“The emotional/spiritual sensation is amazing. Sometimes I smile and admire my work. Women cum so many different ways, sometimes quiet and divine, or loud and roaring… I try to appreciate their individual, expressive orgasms for what they are. Physically, much depends on the PC muscle. The really strong orgasms cause such intense physical sensations that I almost always lose control and if I climax then, it’s a hard and heart stopping orgasm. This is especially so without a condom, but even still I can feel the vaginal wall strengthening its grip on my penis and drawing more blood to the glans for maximum sensation. I just have to admire how biologically designed we are for this stuff.”


“If my penis is in her when she cums I feel her vagina pulsing and tightening around my penis. I love that feeling.”


“The best feeling ever.. As we get closer, she tells me to puff- meaning get extra hard, I’ll tell her to squeeze- do a kegel. And at the point of climax she is squeezing uncontrollably, in waves going up my shaft. then a rush of warm slippery stuff, like sliding into a hot tub at the perfect temp. Sometimes ill cum at the same time. If I’m about to cum before her I hold off for a couple sec. This sometimes makes it hard to cum after. And I really should break this habit because I can keep going.”


“With my fiance, it no joke feels like I’m getting a tugjob inside of her, when she hits the O. It’s quite nice.”


“I feel like the word ‘quiver’ is the perfect word to sum it up. How it hugs and pulsates the penis and you can tell the girl is in no control over it and is in pure ecstasy.”


“It feels amazing when she gets off on my dick, emotionally it’s an ego boost, even after 6 years, physically her vagina clinches really tight and it feels like it sucking my cock! Love it!!!!”


“Am I the only one that can’t feel anything? And she doesn’t moan, but she tends to bite my ear or neck.”


“A lot of squeezing down there. Plus she seems to be rubbing a very specific part of herself on my penis (I am guessing the area with clitoris). Unlike some folks here, her orgasm rarely causes me to have one at the same time, even with all the squeezing. I think my mind is more focused on keeping the erection so she can have as good an orgasm as possible.”


“It takes work, but when they get real hot and there’s a solid, swollen G-spot that I’m kneading with my turgid rod; it feels better than the most skilled, nimble, frenulum-flicking tongue action.”


“With some women, I could feel their orgasm as muscle contractions on my cock. It’s awesome. It makes me feel like I did my job.

With others, the closer they get, the wetter they get. Also awesome.

Yet some times I honestly can’t feel anything vaginally. There are other cues though. Body language. Backs arch. Muscles contract. Nipples harden. Breathing increases. Etc.

Some women are vocal, others not so much.

In my experience, when I’m going down on a lady, she’s typically quieter. Once the cock enters the equation, they usually lose control a little bit.

I like to go down first and get one orgasm out of the way, then it’s pound town for orgasm number 2.

I wish I could have orgasms as intense as my partners. Women are just lucky that way I guess.”


“It is one of the greatest feelings in the world. Knowing how much pleasure you brought to someone, knowing how amazing they feel because of you. And then all that is amplified 100 fold if you cum together.”


“It feels damn good, her vagina is pulsating and gripping my penis really hard. And when the body shakes come on it’s such an amazing feeling.”


“When my gf cums during intercourse, it is the biggest turn on for me. not to mention the hot rush and clenching of the vaginal walls feel absolutely amazing. For me the best thing is just to see that my girl is enjoying herself as much as I am.”


“Christ, I love those goddamn leg spasms…we call them ‘aftershocks.’ The best is when we both finish at the same time with her on top, and she just lays on top of me while her legs just convulse for minutes. Usually put my hand on her ass and wait for her to finish shaking while we have a good laugh at the fact that she’s got no control over it.” TC mark

Stop Freaking Out About Adulthood, It’s The Best Stage Of Your Life If You Let It Be

Posted: 29 Aug 2016 08:00 PM PDT


The Internet has given birth to a collective hysteria surrounding adulthood. It's essentially everywhere you look.

"BILLS!" Scream frantic tumblr users.

"RELATIONSHIPS!" Yell fav-hungry tweeters.

"GOING TO WORK AND GETTING A JOB AND HAVING STUDENT LOANNNNNS!" Panics the general majority of young Americans entering the workforce.

Yes. Those are all factors of adulthood. And I'm not here to downplay any of those.

I put myself through University and am therefore up to my neck in student loans. I pay an absurd amount of rent to live in New York City. I'm single as fuck and I don't have a trust fund and for a long time after graduating college I had to work a soul-sucking job that made me want to beat my head against the wall by about 2pm each afternoon.

And yet I am enjoying adulthood immensely. I wouldn't give a single part of it up for the world.

Because here's the thing about graduating high school or University and entering the real world: Your life becomes your own. For better or for worse. Yes, you might have to work a crummy job. Yes, you might barely be able to make ends meet. Yes, you are going to have breakups and rejections and struggles that make you feel as though the wind has been knocked straight out of your chest.

But at the end of the day, every struggle, every triumph, every fresh start belongs to you. Some people will find that statement terrifying. But others will find it absolutely liberating. And those are the people who will unquestionably love their adult years.

It is easy to be sixteen or seventeen or eighteen and have all your expenses covered for you. It's easy to have health care and a roof over your head and piping hot meals delivered to you three times a day if you had the kind of parents who did that.

And it's a lot of fun to stumble through college. It's great to meet inspiring people and learn incredible things and spent one or two too many weekends getting way too drunk and hooking up with everyone.

There are many benefits to being young and careless.

But there's also a very particular kind of contentment that I believe you cannot truly experience until you hit your adult years.

It's the pride of looking around an apartment that you fought tooth and nail to make rent on and telling yourself, 'This place is mine.'

It's the joy of landing the first job that aligns with your passions and knowing that you – and you alone – made it happen for yourself.

It's the comfort of knowing that life is going to throw you curves and speed bumps and heartaches and breaks but you're going to steer yourself through every single one of them. Because you've fought your way into the kind of adult you want to become. And I'm not sure if there's a single feeling out there that rivals that one.

So here is what I'll give you straight up – it isn't going to be easy. Not a single, glorious moment of it. You're going to flail and struggle and fall and at times it's going to hurt a whole lot. That's adulthood. They aren't lying to you about that.

But it's also going to be phenomenal. You're also going to succeed and advance and astound yourself with everything you're capable of.

You're going to land jobs you never thought you'd get. You're going to kiss people who make your heart soar. You're going to travel to fantastic new places and learn mind-boggling new things and watch yourself start over one hundred thousand, million times.

It's can be tiring and difficult and thankless, if you decide it is.

But it can also be liberating and motivating and endlessly empowering if you let it be.

Because the truth about adulthood is that it's not inherently good or bad as a life stage – it is simply whatever you make of it.

Stay hidden in your room watching Netflix and adulthood is lonely. Stop working towards your dreams and you won't reach them.

But start stepping out of your comfort zone every now and then and you'll notice something wonderful – that adulthood is inherently laced with possibility. It offers the opportunity for you to pursue the goals you've had in mind for decades. To move to the places you grew up dreaming about. To fail and restart and try again, as many damn times as you need to – because your life finally belongs to only you.

The truth about being an adult is that it's exactly as tragic or as wonderful as you let it be.

And if you're ready to fight for the life you want, it is magnificent. TC mark

Never Look For Healing In The Person Who Broke You

Posted: 29 Aug 2016 07:00 PM PDT

Bianca des Jardins
Bianca des Jardins

Don't even think about putting your heart back into the palms of the person who broke it. You might think they can help you heal, that they can help you mend it back together, but I'm telling you they can't.

They did the damage and I know you're missing them, but going back to them won’t solve your heartache. I know it's hard living without them after all this time. I know you want to go back, you want to send them that message, you want to call them and tell them they are all that's been on your mind, but don't.

Please, don't. The pain isn't worth it.

You might not feel it right now, but you're stronger without them.

You don't need the one who broke you in order to feel good and whole.

You don't need them in order to heal because you'll be better off without them.

In order to heal on your own you need to let them go.

Don't lose yourself in a weak moment. Don't reach out when you're feeling alone and vulnerable. Don't drunk text him because you think reading their words, if they even respond, will help you find comfort. Don't think they're as good as it gets, because things will get better.

By reaching out, by going back, by convincing yourself they'll be better the next time around is only setting yourself up for a heartbreak. Maybe not right away, but eventually it will come. They will make you question why you gave them a shot in the first place. You will feel low again and the damage will only increase.

I don't want to see you crumble and fall.

I know you want to see the best for them, you always want to see the best for the people you care about most, but I'm telling you the best thing for you might be to walk away from them in order to protect yourself from more damage.

I know you want to believe things will be different this time around. I know you want to believe them when they tell you things have changed, that they have changed, but have they? Have you really seen them change since you've been together?

The first few months of any relationship are blissful and new, they're sweet and kind, they're exciting and happy, but after the first few months that's when things get real. That's when a person starts feeling comfortable below their exterior and starts opening up about their demons and showing their true identity.

Can you handle all that, again? Can you handle what comes after the blissful beginning following the "I'm sorry, it won’t happen again" and "I promise I've changed"? Because the demons come back out to play after things settle back down to normal.

I know it's a hell of a lot harder to walk away from someone you love, especially in a period of feeling so vulnerable, but it's for the best. You might not be able to see it now, but you will grow bigger and stronger from walking away before allowing the person you love to break your heart again.

You owe it to yourself to leave, to love yourself, to find your own happiness without them. I know it's hard and I know you miss them terribly, but you can't find happiness in a person who doesn't bring out the best in you.

Don't give them that power over you back. Know your worth; know what you deserve and how you should be treated. Never be with someone who continuously drags you down, you deserve much more than that. TC mark

If I Never See You Again, I Hope You Know What You Meant To Me

Posted: 29 Aug 2016 06:15 PM PDT

If I never see you again
I hope you know what you meant to me,
I hope you know how much your words
changed me
and how much your stories
touched me.
I hope you know that every night with you
was a life changing night.
If it wasn't for you,
I would've stayed stuck
in the realm of hopelessness.
If it wasn't for you
I would've stayed hidden inside my shell
waiting for someone to crack me open,
but you were able to crack me open
without even trying,
you were able to guide me to the light
without even knowing how dark it was inside.

If I never see you again,
I want you to know
that you were more than just a friend,
that you were a mentor,
that you were someone I looked up to.
Maybe I wanted more
but I think I got exactly what I needed.
You got me out of my darkness
and maybe that was your role,
maybe you were sent to help me find myself,
maybe you were sent to help me love myself
and maybe you were sent to save me.

If I never see you again
I want to thank you for saving me,
I want to thank you for showing me the light
and I want to thank you for dropping me off
at the right exit
so I can find my own way.

Thank you,
I can take it from here. TC mark

50 Cute Things To Say To Your Boyfriend That Will Make Him Feel Loved

Posted: 29 Aug 2016 06:00 PM PDT


1. I need you.

2. I'm thankful for you.

3. I love the way you ____.

4. My life has changed for the better because of you.

5. I don't know what I would do without you.

6. I will never forget ____ about you.

7. You make me feel so special.

8. I love how you ____.

9. You are so handsome.

10. I'm proud to be yours.

11. Thank you for being mine.

12. I love your smile.

13. You've been a blessing to my life.

14. When I'm feeling lost I turn to you.

15. I've never been so happy.

16. You are the best thing that's ever happened to me.

17. I can't imagine my world without you.

18. I want to spend my forever with you.

19. I don't ever want to stop loving you.

20. I love every little thing about you.

21. I hope you know how much you matter to me.

22. I would do anything to be the girl you come home to every night and wake up to every morning.

23. Without you, I'd be so lost.

24. God has blessed me with such an incredible man.

25. There's absolutely nothing I would change about us.

26. If I could just press pause, in this moment, I'd stay right here in your arms.

27. I love when you kiss me.

28. Even after all this time, you still give me butterflies.

29. I'm not sure what I was doing with my heart before you came along.

30. Your heart is safe with me, always.

31. I don't ever want to know what life feels like without you by my side.

32. I will forever fight for you and with you.

33. Everything you do makes me fall more and more in love with you.

34. I'm so attracted to you.

35. I appreciate you.

36. You're my last thought before I go to sleep, and my first when I wake up.

37. I'm so thankful that our paths crossed.

38. I love ____ about you.

39. Whenever you're feeling down, know that I'm here.

40. I'm not going anywhere.

41. I can't wait to make even more memories with you.

42. You brought light into my life.

43. Whenever we're apart, I can't stop thinking about you.

44. You have made me an incredibly happier, better person.

45. I will always be the best woman I can be for you.

46. I can't stop smiling when I'm around you.

47. There's nowhere else I'd rather be than with you.

48. I love you,with the kind of love that’s more than love.

49. I don't think it's even possible to love someone as much as I love you.

50. You are my forever and always. TC mark

82 Generic White Gay Guy Names And What It Says About His Personality

Posted: 29 Aug 2016 05:15 PM PDT

Karina Carvalho
Karina Carvalho

1. Todd: Works in retail, positions himself as a fashionista even though everyone knows he's fleecing that Ralph Lauren employee discount.

2. Garrett: Chronic manorexic.

3. Will: Enjoys repartee. Terrible in bed.

4. Chad: Evil.

5. Brian: Clean-cut and natty, but dirty AF in the bedroom.

6. Bryan: Totally different from Brian. A gritty, unapologetic bad boy, but just likes to lie there during sex.

7. Ryan: Into puppy play, but no one will "adopt" him.

8. Ross: Always goes home with the first boy at the bar who hits on him.

9. Chase: His real name is Al, but he wants everyone to call him Chase. Chase?

10. Colin: We get it, you're gay AND Irish.

11. Greg: Lisped before exiting the womb.

12. Phillip: Always looking to marry his mother in a man. Yep, still single.

13. Kurt: Knows where the best online porn is.

14. Connor: Size queen.

15. Jack: Republican.

16. John: Married to his career, but somehow manages to attend EVERY circuit event across the globe.

17. Ian: A sociopathic chicken hawk (aka a "cougay").

18. Spencer: Pseudo-intellectual; always has to be right (i.e, bossy bottom).

19. Martin: Doesn't know his place in the world, blames the ruinous gay culture on everything.

20. Adam: We get it, you're gay AND Jewish.

21. Rob: …

22. Cam: Always pings you the second you log on to Scruff. "Hey bro, haven't seen you on here in forever."

23. Cameron: Picky eater, but drinks like a fish. Goes MIA the day after a big party or a crazy night out.

24. Josh: Quiet and reserved so, naturally, is carnival freak crazy kinky in the sack.

25. Jeremy: Shames you for not knowing enough about gay pop culture.

26. Aaron: Shames you for not knowing enough about gay culture of yore. Liza who?

27. Chaz: Claims he doesn't know what "cis" means, but secretly knows what every letter of the gay alphabet stands for.

28. Austin: A veritable RAT (rapidly aging twink).

29. Jared: Still not out to his family, never will be.

30. Michael: Made a big statement by going from Mike to Michael when he came out. Incidentally, so did every other Mike.

31. Mike: Well done, Mike. You stayed you.

32. Matthew: Dates men who look EXACTLY like him.

33. Matt: Only hosts, never travels.

34. Paul: Constantly announces his short-lived Facebook breaks. Bye, Paul, see you next week.

35. Blake: Works his extreme whiteness and doesn't apologize for it.

36. Dillon: Everything is sexual innuendo with Dillon. EVERYTHING.

37. Dylan: His parents threw a party when he came out. Shares with them the most graphic of details from his dating life.

38. Dave: We get it, you have an enormous…vocabulary.

39. Daniel: Regina George.

40. Dan: Knows every DJ who ever spun at Burning Man.

41. Sam: Your go-to brunch friend.

42. Stewart: His Grindr profile pic is of argyle socks.

43. Alex: Don't ask him about Bernie.

44. Alexander: Don't ask him about Hillary.

45. Alec: Slightly annoying but his perpetual VPL never fails to tantalize.

46. Beau: Has a thick southern accent even though he went to Bowdoin and Harvard Law School.

47. Zachary: Always looking for an extra ticket to the Pier Dance.

48. Ben: You can't say anything bad about him, but at the same time…You can't really find anything great to say about him either?

49. Derek: Your drug dealer friend.

50. Tom: Masc for masc only.

51. Jim: On every single gay sports team. Always rocking a bandage or cast as a result.

52. James: Creepily savors his s's whenever he sssspeakssss.

53. Zack: Unrepentant gamer. First to play Pokemon Go.

54. Mark: Doesn't clip, but shaves his body hair, including the hair on his legs. Eew.

55. Jesse: His lesbian friends are for more interesting and funnier than he is. (Note to self: get their numbers.)

56. Billy: Has gym memberships at Equinox, NYSC, Reebok, Chelsea Piers, and Gold's. You'd never know it.

57. Dick: Lives up to the love for his name.

58. Jeffrey: Always dates another Jeffrey (but spelled differently).

59. Reid: Big-time camper and griller. Born and raised in Staten Island.

60. Alan: Never get on his bad side. Seriously. Just don't.

61. Andrew: Hung.

62. Kyle: You can take the gay boy out of the fraternity…

63. Jason: Crazy eyes. They were alluring at first, but you learned your lesson the hard way. Twice.

64. Jacob: A nice Jewish doctor looking to marry a nice Jewish lawyer.

65. Jake: Doesn't do drugs, just steroids.

66. Nathan: Theater queen.

67. Eric: King of selfies.

69. Steve: The highest-maintenance "low-key" gay dude ever.

70. Stephen: Went to Duke, won't shut up about it.

71. Steven: Too busy, he'll have to get back to you.

72. Travis: Totally gay but somehow lacks the gay gene.

73. Trevor: Constantly posts boring pics of his dog-babies, aptly named "Precious" and "Pookie."

74. Brady: Instawhore. 75,000 followers and counting.

75. Brenden: Two words: daddy issues.

76. Kevin: Seems like the whole package. Makes you doubt yourself for being so cynical and distrusting. Fuck you, Kevin.

77. Ethan: Your richest (and laziest) friend. Thank god for family money.

78. Tucker: 'Sup? You up? You out? Looking? Not interested if you practice safe sex.

79. Nick: Catfisher.

80. Chris: Functional addict. But barely.

81. Peter: Tell us more about white gay male privilege.

82. Patrick: Hates, no, absolutely DESPISES online posts featuring lists, especially ones that reduce gay men to absurd stereotypes. TC mark

32 Brutally Honest Truths You Have To Accept If You Want Lasting Love

Posted: 29 Aug 2016 05:00 PM PDT


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TC mark

For The Girls With Broken Hearts, Don’t Be Afraid To Love Again

Posted: 29 Aug 2016 04:30 PM PDT

Tim Stief
Tim Stief

You are standing in front of a boy who inspires within you a love you never thought you would feel before. You're standing in front of a boy who makes it look so easy — the dismantling, the removal of the grit and the dust from your tired heart, the bubbling of a feeling, the swell of something you told yourself you would never allow inside your bones again.

You are standing in front of a boy who strips you of your advances, who takes the bricks out of your wall one by one, who disassembles years of strength and reveals to the world the softness of your foundation — your spine, your searching fingertips, your hope.

You are standing in front of a boy who wants to give you the world, and you are afraid because for the first time in years you feel the frost from within your faith start to thaw. You see the sun, and for the first time in years, you can feel it, warm on your skin, hot on the back of your neck. For the first time in years, you are unarmed.

You are standing in front of a boy, and you must stay. You must.

Because in front of you stands a boy who has told you that he lives for you, that he will never leave, and you have to believe him. You have to trust. Standing in front of you is a boy who will help you battle your demons, who will hold your hand while you fight the war against your mind. Standing in front of you is a boy who will watch you as you open your chest and empty out the monsters and the soot and the names of memories you still haven't faced. He will see your baggage, your history, piled in front of him, the great purging of your very soul, and he will love you anyways. He will love you anyways.

Remember, you are not a vessel of sadness; you are not a lost cause. Do not run away this time. Do not flee. You are standing in front of a boy who sees every phantom within you, and he has chosen to stay, to fight. You are standing in front of a boy who knows with reckless abandon that you deserve more than what the past was able to give to you, that life has not always protected the softness of your heart, and he wants to defend you. He wants to show you what happiness is meant to feel like.

You are standing in front of a boy who wants to love you, and you must stay. You must. TC mark

Read more writing like this in Bianca Sparacino’s book Seeds Planted In Concrete here.

You Deserve To Be With Someone Who Actually Gives A Damn About You

Posted: 29 Aug 2016 04:15 PM PDT

Franca Gimenez
Franca Gimenez

If he doesn't like you, why do you like him?

Although this occurs with both genders, I can only speak to the female side. Whether a guy blows you off or disappears, why do females typically continue to hold on? Why do we rationalize and hope for some explanation to turn the situation around? Why do we ignore our instincts? We know the answer to the question. Yet when it is not the answer we want, or think we want, we ignore it and tell ourselves that we can change his mind. As if that would reverse what has already transpired.

Our attachment leads us to believe we need this person, when in reality we just want them.

Differentiating needs over wants is easier said than done. The concept seems simple but when we act on feelings alone, we are not thinking consciously. We are exploiting an unconscious impression. Why do we allow the feelings of a single person determine our mood?

If someone doesn't like you, they don't like you. Why would you want to be with someone that doesn't like you? Don't let the frustration or fear of being alone dictate your behavior.

If someone isn't into you, you don't want them.

Don't second guess yourself. Don't sit there wondering if you should text, play hard to get or overanalyze every interaction you've had with this person thus far. Fuck that.

If you want to text him, then go ahead and text him. If you want to see him, then make an effort to see him. If you want to hang out, then make plans to hang out. You're a big girl. Maybe he won't answer your text. Maybe he won't make an effort to see you. Perhaps he won't follow through to hang out. Guess what? That is okay. If this happens, then he doesn't like you.

He doesn't like you, so you have no reason to like him. Sure, you may initially feel disappointed and let down. It fucking sucks. I get it. But guess what? If he felt differently, you would know, trust me. You already know the answer. Accept it and move on, for you.

Relationships are a two-way street. If you're in it alone, you don't stand a chance. Relationships are hard enough when both people are in it. People are different and that is okay. Give yourself more credit, you don't deserve average or mediocre. Think before you act and use your head. Let your heart weigh in, but don't act solely on emotion and initial reactions.

So this person just isn't that into you, so what? Have you ever had someone like you and you just had no interest in them? I guarantee the answer is yes. Whether it was due to lack of physical attraction, prior judgment, or the wrong time, you didn't like them. You didn't like them.

You deserve to be on the same page with someone. You deserve a teammate. You deserve someone that has your back. Underneath it all, you deserve a friend. A true and honest friend that is undeniably supportive. This serves as a base to a real relationship. I'm not talking about those people that cheat on each other, talk about how miserable they are with their significant other, or the ones that just can't ever be alone. I am talking about the people that are in a relationship because they have found someone that matters. They have found someone worth fighting for. We all deserve that, each and every one of us.

We deserve to be someone's unquestionable first choice. If you aren't their first choice, then why would you want to be with them? You don't.

Don't sell yourself short. You shouldn't have to convince someone to like you. That's not how it works. That's not how it is supposed to work. Don't allow yourself to be consumed with the shitty feeling of disappointment.
You want to be someone's first choice and you want them to be your first choice. TC mark

6 Things You Need To Know About Yourself Before You Can Truly Fall In Love

Posted: 29 Aug 2016 04:00 PM PDT

Kessy Silva
Kessy Silva

What is your biggest dream?

This can be realistic, or far-fetched; it can be your biggest desire, or a small inkling, but when you think about what you want for your life, what is the ideal, the goal, the place that you're heading towards? If you know what you desire, it helps you to find someone whose dreams align with yours, or who will support you as you venture out in the pursuit of them.

What makes you happy?

What brings a smile to your face, even on your darkest days? What makes you laugh, makes you feel warm inside, makes you forget all your worries and see the world anew? What do you like to do? To listen to? To eat? To doodle? To sing? Who do you like to talk to, or be around? What helps you cleanse you, help you restart and see the world in a positive light?

What do you believe?

Maybe in a religious sense, maybe not, but when it comes down to it, what do you feel so deeply in your heart is true? What do you rely on? When you feel defeated and lost, who or what do you turn to? Even in the crazy parts of the world, what do you put your faith in?

What do you fear?

No one likes to talk about this, but it's at the core of who we are as flawed, imperfect humans: fear. What do you fear? What makes you shake with terror? What gives you an ache in the pit of your stomach when you think about its possibility? This can be small or big, but knowing your deepest fears allows you to be vulnerable with another person, which is essential in building love.

What keeps you up at night?

When it's late and you've turned out all the lights and you're staring at the ceiling in the pitch black darkness, what do you think about? What turns and twists through your mind? Is it happy thoughts, fearful thoughts, contemplative? When you see yourself and your place in the world, where do you fit? What are those 3AM ponderings that you don't tell anyone, but are begging to be shared? Those are the thoughts you'll unveil when you fall in love.

Who are you?

If someone stood in front of you and asked that question, could you answer it? Of course you'll always be changing, growing, shifting, becoming—but if someone asked you to define yourself, could you? Do you have a sense of what you stand for, of what you'd fight for, of what you're passionate about, of how you feel, of your sense of self?

Know yourself, love yourself, and you can learn to love someone that way, too. TC mark